Feels Like I'm Falling in Love

by euphoniusowl

Summary:

I know that this could hurt me bad / I know that this could feel like that / But I just can't stop / Let my defences drop

Neither Rook nor Emmrich were expecting a relationship, but they somehow at the end of the world they found each other.

Chapter 1

Notes:

I want to say up front that this particular work doesn’t have a plot, per se. It’s a series of scenes that I wrote to fill in the gaps of how Rook and Emmrich’s relationship evolves, as well as Rook’s relationships with the various Shadow Dragons and other members of the team.

Here is an introduction to my Rook, including some screenshots of how they look.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it.

Shortly After Lucanis Returns from Treviso

“Hey, Lucanis.” Rook stopped the assassin as he left the dining hall.

“Rook,” Lucanis said. “What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to ask for your help with something,” they said. “You can say no.”

“What is it?”

“I’m trying to incorporate some new techniques into my fighting,” Rook said. “I found some Crow training guides in the library but now that you’re back I was hoping you could give me some pointers.”

“You want to become a Crow?” Lucanis asked, amused.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Rook said. “I’m interested in how you fight.”

“Hm.” Lucanis considered them for a moment. “Very well. On one condition.”

“Which is?”

“You teach me how to use a bow.”

“You want me to teach you to shoot?” Rook asked. “Harding’s way better than I am.”

“I don’t want to be an archer,” Lucanis said. “I want to be able to use a bow and my swords interchangeably, like you do.”

“Have you used one before?”

“All Crows train in archery,” Lucanis said, sounding insulted.

“Sure. And when was the last time you shot something?”

“It’s been… a while,” he admitted.

“If nothing else this will be interesting,” Rook said. “Let’s do it.” They shook hands.

“We can start tomorrow,” Lucanis said. “We’ll need space.”

“How about out here?” they suggested, indicating the courtyard. “Unless you’re worried about everyone seeing the great Demon of Vyrantium fail to hit a target?”

“I will be fine,” Lucanis said. “You should be worried about the morale hit when everyone sees you lose a duel.”

“People who underestimate me tend to regret it,” Rook said.

“I’ve seen you fight,” Lucanis said. “My estimation of your abilities is correct.”

“We’ll see.”

 

Early the next morning they drew out a space in the courtyard. Rook was wearing their usual pants and boots but left their outer layer behind, opting instead for a teal tank top. Lucanis removed his vest and unbuttoned a few of his shirt buttons. He handed Rook a pair of practice swords.

“Shouldn’t Crows have better training weapons?” Rook asked, swinging them experimentally. “The balance on these is terrible.”

“That’s by design,” Lucanis said. “It forces you to adapt. If you lose your dagger, you have to be prepared to use whatever is on hand.”

“Huh.” Rook swung the blades one more time. “So, what’s up first, Master Assassin?”

“We fight,” he said. “There’s no better way to learn someone’s strengths and weaknesses. After, you show me what this book taught you and we go from there.”

“Works for me.” The pair took their stances and began to spar. They clashed a few times, scoping each other out, before beginning in earnest. After a minute of serious fighting, Lucanis managed to feint and get in close, ending with his blade at Rook’s throat.

“I win,” he said, smirking.

“Are you sure?” Davrin asked. He and Neve were standing at the edge of the marked area, watching the fight. Lucanis looked down and found Rook’s blade pressed against his stomach.

“Seems like a draw to me,” Neve said. Lucanis laughed and stepped back.

“You fell for my feint on purpose,” he said.

“I did say not to underestimate me,” Rook said.

“I should have listened.” Lucanis took his stance. “Let’s go again.” Rook nodded and raised their swords. They went twice more. The first time Lucanis managed to disarm them but the second Rook got him with a dagger they kept in their boot.

“Time for a break,” Neve said, handing them both water.

“Thanks.” Rook drank deeply, glad they’d gone for the tank top.

“You’re more muscular than your clothes make you look,” Davrin said. “We should work out together.”

“If you want to actually work out, then sure,” Rook said. “But uh, you’re not my type.”

“Good to know,” Davrin replied.

“Don’t get me wrong, under different circumstances I’d hook up with you,” Rook said. “But since I’m the leader that seems like a bad idea.”

“Thanks, I think,” Davrin said with a laugh. “I can come up with a routine to help you get stronger if you want.”

“Where I’m at works for me,” Rook said. “If I get too muscular it would ruin the whole underestimation thing I’ve got going.”

“People must overlook you a lot,” Neve said.

“It’s not easy being an elf in Tevinter, but it does have some advantages,” Rook said. “Being ignored is one of them.”

“I find it hard to believe that people don’t notice you when your outfits are so bright,” Davrin said.

“You haven’t spent much time in Minrathous, huh?” Rook asked. “Trust me. I don’t stand out.”

“Except when you manage to piss off every Ventatori-backed Magister in the city,” Neve said.

“That was one time.”

“And now you have three elven gods angry with you,” Lucanis said.

“And the First Warden,” Davrin added.

“And the Venatori, again,” Neve finished.

“So how exactly don’t you stand out?” Davrin asked.

“Everyone’s a critic,” Rook said, finishing the drink. “So, Lucanis, what’s next?”

“Show me what you know,” he said. Rook nodded and demonstrated. Lucanis gave them a few pointers on how to improve and a recipe for a new kind of poison.

“Thanks,” Rook said. “I’ll try out what you said. We should take a day off then it’s your turn.”

“I agree,” Lucanis said. “Do I need to bring anything?”

“A bow would be helpful.”

“Any recommendations?”

“I prefer short bows because they’re easier to maneuver quickly.”

“I’ll see what I can find.”

 

Two days later, Lucanis and Rook were once again in the courtyard, but with a different set-up.

“First I want to see you shoot,” Rook said. “I set up the targets so that if you miss the arrows will go into the Fade instead of skewering Assan.” The griffon screeched.

“I’m not going to hit anyone,” Lucanis said.

“We’ll see.” Rook gestured at the dummies. “Go ahead.” Lucanis drew the bow, aimed carefully, and went completely over the target, sending the arrow flying off into the Fade.

“You missed,” Taash said.

“It’s been a while,” Lucanis said defensively.

“Do you want help?” Harding asked. “Because I can see-”

“I’m fine.” Lucanis aimed again and this time managed to almost hit the dummy’s left arm. “Mierda.”

“You’re getting closer,” Rook said encouragingly. “I mean, you still missed, but-”

“You’re not helping,” Lucanis said, taking aim. This time he managed to hit the dummy’s upper leg.

“You hit it,” Taash said. “Good job.”

“Maybe I need to practice my aim,” Lucanis said.

“Where do you think those arrows will end up?” Harding asked, peering over the edge.

“If we’re lucky they’ll hit Solas,” Rook said. “So I can teach you how to switch weapons quickly, but…”

“I need to be able to hit the target,” Lucanis said. “I will practice.”

“We can work on the switching,” Rook said. “The key is not getting tangled up.” Lucanis sheathed his bow and strapped on the practice swords.

“And now?”

“Take out your swords.” Lucanis took his fighting stance. “Okay, now sheathe them, take out your bow, shoot at the target, and put your bow away and re-draw your swords. As fast as you can.” He managed the first part fine but struggled getting his bow out and nocking an arrow. In the end it took him about 30 seconds to get a shot off, which missed, and another 20 to get back to his original stance.

“Mierda.”

“It takes practice,” Rook said. “Start by doing it really slowly. Once you can do the whole motion fluidly and hit the target, then we can speed it up.”

“You should demonstrate,” Harding said.

“Sure.” Rook drew their swords and took their stance. They did the entire motion in about 15 seconds and hit the target square in the chest.

“Nice,” Taash said.

“Show off,” Lucanis muttered.

“You asked for this,” Rook said.

“How do you stop yourself from getting tangled up?” Harding asked.

“Practice,” Rook said. “Lots and lots of practice. Okay Lucanis, do it again.”

“Mierda, this is harder than it looks,” Lucanis said half an hour later.

“You’ll get there,” Rook said. “All right, I’m starving. Breakfast?”

“I’ll make coffee.”

Notes:

This is mostly a set-up for some stuff that happens later but also a good introduction for Rook.

When I wrote this I spent a lot of time switching between the bow and swords in-game to see what happened only to realize that the bow basically teleports. Practice really does pay off I guess.

Chapter 2

A Couple of Weeks After Walking the Graves

“Hey Emmrich.”

“Hello Rook,” the necromancer said, putting down the skull he was holding. “What brings you to my laboratory?”

“Do I need a reason to check on my favourite necromancer?” they asked with a smile. Emmrich didn’t entirely know what to make of Rook. By all appearances they were quite flippant, making quips almost constantly and rarely taking things seriously. Occasionally, however, there were glimpses of someone else. When they were with the Shadow Dragons, for instance, there was something different about them. They still joked, but it was more comfortable and it was clear that they cared a great deal for the people of Minrathous. Then there was the time they spent in the Memorial Gardens. Emmrich had been surprised by the interest and respect Rook showed to the ritual and the spirits they encountered. Clearly there was more to them than meets the eye.

Muddying the waters further, they kept flirting with him. It was entirely unexpected, quite flattering, and Emmrich was desperately trying not to fall in love. Rook flirted with most people, making it unlikely that they were serious about it, and with Emmrich’s ambitions of lichdom, falling in love now was only going to lead to his heart being broken again. And yet, when Rook smiled at him his stomach turned over.

“I didn’t realize you had a list,” Emmrich said.

“Absolutely,” Rook said. “It was a close decision between you and Dorian, but Manfred gives you bonus points.”

“If it was as close as you say, I shouldn’t rest on my laurels,” Emmrich said. “I will endeavour to remain at the top of your list on my own merits, without Manfred’s assistance.”

“I’m sure someone as charming as you will come up with something.” Once again Emmrich was unsure if they were genuine or if it was flattery and chose to move the conversation along.

“I’ll do my best,” he said. “I assume you came here for a purpose?”

“I have a question about something you said in the Memorial Gardens,” Rook said. “Do you have some time?”

“Certainly,” Emmrich said. “What do you wish to know?”

“I always heard that mages outside of Tevinter are sent to Circles when their magic manifests,” they said. “Is the Necropolis a Circle of Magi?”

“Not precisely,” Emmrich said. “Nevarra’s approach to magic is not as strict as in Orlais or Ferelden. Technically the Mourn Watch is a fraternity within the Circle, although we are unique in that we have non-mage members. Given our role in overseeing the Grand Necropolis, we had special dispensation to train mages who are deemed suitable. Those who weren’t, or who decided to follow a different path, were sent to a full Circle of Magi.”

“There’s one in Cumberland, right?” Rook asked. “A major one, from what I’ve read.”

“The College of Enchanters, yes,” Emmrich said. “I taught there for a few semesters when I was younger. It was an interesting experience. The mages there were granted fewer freedoms than I was used to.”

“So if your parents hadn’t died, you would have gone to Cumberland?”

“Most likely,” Emmrich said. “However, given my corpse whispering, I almost certainly would have ended up with the Mourn Watch anyways.”

“And it’s fine that you’re running around with us?” Rook asked. “You don’t need a Templar handler to make sure you’re not being corrupted by us evil Tevinters?”

“Not since the Circles disbanded,” Emmrich said. “Even before that, however, I had permission to travel. I rarely took advantage of it and never left Nevarra which is one of the reasons I was excited to join you.”

“Disbanded?” Rook seemed genuinely surprised.

“For a decade now, yes,” Emmrich said. “It was one of Divine Victoria’s first acts after her anointment. The College of Enchanters still exists as a way to train mages and for magical research, but mages are no longer forced into a Circle. You didn’t know?”

“We hear about the Southern Chantry probably as much as you hear about ours,” Rook said. “Besides, your Circles being prisons is good propaganda. I do know there was a war but that’s only because the peace talks exploded.”

“We were largely shielded from the war itself, although we were discouraged from leaving the Necropolis more than was absolutely necessary,” Emmrich said. “There were some Watchers who chose to join the rebels and we sent an envoy to the Conclave. One of my friends died in the explosion.”

“Oh.” Rook’s smile faded. “Sorry.”

“Thank you,” Emmrich said. “The Breach itself caused much confusion amongst the spirits in the Necropolis and the Venatori were everywhere. Apparently one of them managed to infiltrate King Markus’s court and it was only the Inquisition’s intervention that freed him from their control.”

“Sounds about right,” Rook said wryly.

“What was it like for you?” Emmrich said. “I’m curious what the response to Corypheus and the Inquisition was in Tevinter.”

“You’ll have to ask Dorian or Maevaris for the high-level stuff,” Rook said. “I was near Vyrantium when the explosion happened and all of a sudden there were these holes in the sky that spit demons and a cult proclaiming a return to the glory of old Tevinter. There were those who bought in but they were mostly highbloods and laetans. Most soporati chafe under the system as it is, let alone going back.”

“I must admit, Minrathous is not what I expected,” Emmrich said. “I’ve read numerous accounts and those mages that visit speak of the city, but…”

“It’s more complicated?” Rook suggested. “Everyone outside the Imperium seems to think we’re blood mages and slaves and that’s it. People are surprised that I’m not an ex-slave, I guess because I’m an elf? It’s weird.”

“You mentioned propaganda earlier,” Emmrich said. “Most of what we’re told is that Tevinter is, as you said, a nation of blood mages and slaves. It’s a way to frighten people into accepting how things are, like your stories of our Circles as prisons. ”

“Right, we’re the bogeyman of Thedas,” Rook said. “Now that you’ve seen it for yourself, what do you make of Minrathous?”

“It is remarkable,” Emmrich said. “Even in Dock Town, magic is everywhere. It permeates the air itself, and yet no one seems to notice. The way people go about their business as if there’s nothing remarkable about it… I find it difficult to comprehend.”

“It’s just how things are. Spend enough time in the city and you won’t notice it anymore.”

“I can’t imagine ever thinking that.”

“Says the man who lives in a giant graveyard,” Rook said with a laugh. “Magical street signs are not nearly as weird as a building that moves its rooms around.”

“Your palace floats,” Emmrich pointed out.

“Yeah, but at least we always know where it is,” they said. “It’s normal to you because you’re around it all the time. That’s what Minrathous is to me.”

“Then we shall have to spend more time in the Necropolis,” Emmrich said. “Perhaps one day it won’t seem strange.” Rook smiled and Emmrich’s breath caught.

“I’d like that,” they said. “And I’m happy to show you more of my city. There’s a lot more to it than Dock Town.”

“I would very much like to see the statue of Faustina,” Emmrich said.
“Oh, you want to go to the fancy part of town,” Rook said. “We can do that. Faustina, huh. I haven’t read it since I was a teenager.” Emmrich had learned, through Bellara, that Rook was not as young as they appeared. They were almost 40 and not in their mid-20s as he first assumed. 15 years was not a small gap but neither was it particularly scandalous at his age, something that did nothing to help Emmrich’s growing infatuation.

“I have a copy, if you’d like to review it,” he said. “It is one of my favourite poems.”

“In that case I definitely need to re-read it.” Their hands brushed as Emmrich handed them the book and he knew the moment would haunt him for weeks.

“I’ll let you know next time I have to go to Minrathous,” Rook said, mercifully either ignorant of or ignoring the effect their touch had on him. “Thanks for the conversation.”

“It was my pleasure.” Rook left and Emmrich sank into his chair. He was usually good at reading if someone was interested in him or not, and yet Rook was an enigma. The obvious solution was to ask, but he wasn’t sure he was prepared for the answer. A problem for another time. He picked up a letter from Myrna regarding the origins of the Hand of Glory and attempted to put Rook from his mind. As usual, he failed.

Notes:

Poor Emmrich always falls so hard.

All the Circle stuff is based on the epilogue slides from Inquisition with Leliana as Divine and Sylvia F (Emmrich's writer) mentioning that she thinks of the Mourn Watch as a faction within the Circles.

Chapter 3

Two Days After House of the Dead

“You’re really not going to tell me where she is?” Rook demanded.

“No,” the Viper replied.

“Come on, it’s not like I’m going to run off after her.” Tarquin snorted.

“He knows you better than that.”

“You’re not helping.” Rook returned their attention to the Viper. “Please, Ashur.”

“Mira is working undercover,” the Viper said. “When the job is complete and she returns to Minrathous, I’ll tell you. Until then, her location stays with me.”

“Will you at least let her know that I’m back?”

“She’s just as likely to run back here to find you as you are to go to her,” Tarquin said.

“Which is why I will tell her when the job is done,” the Viper said. “You know how this works, Rook.”

“Fine.” As much as they hated to admit it, he was right. “Do you know how long it will be?”

“Not for certain,” the Viper said. “Another couple of months, at most.”

“Okay,” Rook said, resigned. “I’m going into the city for a bit, if any of my team asks.” They said goodbye to their friends and headed up until they reached their old neighbourhood. It was nicer than Dock Town, but not so nice that Rook stood out. The majority of the residents were craftspeople and shop owners, mostly soporati with a decent number of laetan. Rook resisted the urge to go by their old apartment and instead went to the Clock Tower. People in the area called it that not because it had an actual clock, but because you could tell the time based on where its shadow fell. Nobody seemed to know its official purpose, but it was never locked.

Neve said a view of the water helped her think and Rook agreed. From the top of the Clock Tower, you could see most of the city and beyond to the sea. This was Rook’s go-to thinking spot. Something about the combination of the height, the breeze, and the view of the ocean helped focus their mind. They’d spent more hours up here than they could count, both alone and with Mira.

They met almost 10 years earlier, not long after Rook arrived in Minrathous. Mira disliked them at first, but after working together for a couple of months they became inseparable. They were each other’s family and Rook desperately missed her.

“I wish you were here,” they said, leaning on the railing and looking out across the city. “I really need to talk to you.” Maybe they could. Not literally, of course, but surely Rook knew Mira well enough to guess what she would say if she were here. They closed their eyes. She was tall for a dwarf, with pale skin that was unscarred, despite all the trouble they ended up in. Her blonde hair was cut just above her chin, framing her dark brown eyes.

“It wasn’t the gods or the end of the world that made you think of me,” Mira said once she’d taken shape in Rook’s mind. “No, it’s the romantic problems.”

“What possible advice could you have on fighting gods?” Rook asked.

“None, but you could have asked.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“Haven’t broken that habit, I see.” Mira shook her head. “Okay, lay it on me.”

“Shouldn’t you already know?” Rook asked. “You are part of my mind.”

“Of course I know, but you’re doing this because you want to talk.”

“Right. So I’ve been flirting with the people I meet. Nothing serious, just for fun, stopping before anyone gets ideas. You know.”

“The thing you’ve been doing since Asshole.”

“Exactly. Only I realized a couple of days ago that I actually like one of them.”

“How much of a ‘like’ are we talking?” Rook didn’t respond. “Oh. Damn.”

“Yeah. I don’t know how it happened. One day it was casual and then suddenly I was really upset when he got hurt.”

“And now you can’t unknow it,” Mira said.

“No!” Rook shook their head. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to- After the last time-”

“Okay, take a breath,” Mira said. “You like him. That’s a fact and you have to accept it. The question is, what now?” Rook sighed.

“I don’t know.”

“Does he like you?”

“We haven’t talked about it, but yeah.”

“Do you want to pursue this?”

“I…” Rook grimaced. “It’s a bad idea.”

“Why?” They laughed darkly.

“Come on, Mira, you know why.”

“I’m here because you wanted to talk this out,” Mira said. “So pretend I don’t.”

“I decided I was done with all that,” Rook said. “None of my relationships have ever worked out, and after Hesperia they’ve been pretty eh. Too much work and for what? Some asshole who thinks he knows me better than I know myself. It’s not worth it. Besides, I’m leading a team. I already told one of them that hooking up was a bad idea, so how can I possibly justify a relationship? If we’re going to defeat the gods, I need everyone at their best. That’s not going to work if we try and it ends poorly.”

“Okay. Now tell me why you should go for it.”

“Because he’s different,” Rook said softly. “I’ve seen the way he looks at me when he thinks I’m not looking. I feel completely myself with him. He makes me laugh, even if it’s unintentional sometimes. I haven’t felt this way in… a long time.”

“Back to my original question,” Mira said. “Do you want to pursue this?”

“...Yes,” Rook admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I should.”

“Then you have to ask yourself if the risk of the relationship going wrong and you getting hurt again outweighs the possibility of it going right.” Rook turned the question over in their mind. They had always been bad at listening to their head over their heart. Logically, it was a bad idea, but they couldn’t shake the feeling that this time it would work out.

“I haven’t told him about my gender yet,” Rook said. “Not explicitly.”

“The Asshole test,” Mira said, nodding.

“Yeah. I’ll do that and if it goes well… then I want to try it. I think I’d regret it if I didn’t.”

“There you go,” Mira said. “And you didn’t even need to talk to the real me.” Rook chuckled.

“I guess not.”

“Try not to make this a habit,” Mira said. “You’ve got enough voices in your head as it is.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Rook said. “I hope I get to see the real you soon.”

“I’m sure you will. Good luck.” They opened their eyes. The sun was out, a rarity in Minrathous, and the city was shining. Maybe a relationship was a bad idea and maybe it would blow up, but at that moment, with the sun and the sea breeze, Rook was hopeful that this time would be different.

Notes:

Rook doesn't explicitly say it here, but they realized that they like like Emmrich when he releases the spirits in House of the Dead and it pains him. I chose that particular moment partly because in the scene after that quest where Emmrich's taken all his books off the shelves, the flirt option of "there's someone who cares about you right here" is delivered kind of awkwardly (at least by Erika Ishii, who does an incredible job in this game. I'll have to more to say about their voice acting next chapter) which fits with Rook a) just having figured it out and b) not knowing what to do about it.

When you do Neve's first personal quest, Rook can say that there are people in Minrathous who are important to them, and I wanted to reflect that. It's implied that Rook didn't spend much (or any?) time in the Pawn Shop because they were working in a different neighbourhood, but they did work with other Shadow Dragons beyond Tarquin and the Viper, and here's one! Well, Rook's imagined version of her, anyways.

I understand why they chose to only focus on one area of Minrathous, but I really wish we had seen more. I was so excited to go to Tevinter in general and Minrathous in particular and it's a shame we didn't get to see other areas. You just know Emmrich is enamoured by the gardens from Luck in the Gardens (in Tevinter Nights, which if you haven't read you should, it's my favourite of the books). Since we probably won't ever get a Dragon Age 5 (RIP), I can make up whatever I want about Minrathous and I definitely have some ideas.

Chapter 4

Three Weeks Later

“Hey.” Rook looked up from their book.

“Hi Taash.”

“What’re you reading?”

“It’s a philosophical treatise on the soul,” Rook said.

“Sounds like an Emmrich book,” Taash said.

“Yep.” Rook closed the tome. “It’s a bit dry.”

“Why read it if it’s boring?”

“The parts I can understand are interesting,” Rook said. “Maybe I’ll see if he has a dictionary. Might make things easier.”

“‘Kay.” Taash shifted slightly. “Can I ask you some gender stuff?”

“Of course,” Rook said with a smile. “Do you want to go somewhere private?”

“Yeah.” They went to Taash’s room and Rook leaned on one of the tables.

“You went to see the other Shadows again, right? How’d it go?”

“It was good,” Taash said. “Maevaris told me there’s magic stuff you can do to change your body.” Taash’s arms were folded, their body language radiating discomfort. Rook recognized that stance. In some ways seeing Taash like this, uncomfortable with their body but not knowing how to fix it, was like seeing a young Rook from the outside.

“That’s right.”

“Do you do that?”

“Yep,” Rook said. “There’s a potion I take sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”
“There’s a sweet spot for feeling good in my body,” Rook says. “When I take the potion, it moves things one way, and when I stop it moves it the other. Maintaining that balance is important for me.”

“Sounds complicated.”

“It was to figure out,” Rook said. “Now I just know when it’s time to start or stop. I feel… off. It’s hard to explain.”

“And that makes you feel right in your body?”

“One of many things,” Rook said. “My hair, my clothes, the way I walk… It took years to figure it all out. The potion helps. That’s me though. Everyone’s different and you don’t have to take a potion to be non-binary. There’s no ‘right’ way to do this.”

“Everyone keeps saying that,” Taash said.

“It’s important,” Rook said. “You’re thinking that it would be easier if there was a guide to follow. Do these steps and then you’ll feel right and people will accept you.”

“Yeah.”

“I felt the same way for a while,” Rook said. “But eventually I realized a couple of things. First, there will always be assholes. Some people will never accept you, no matter what you do. That sucks but you can’t try to mould yourself to fit what they want, because it will never be enough. Finding people who accept you is good, but finding those who actively support you is better. For me, the first person like that was my brother. Knowing I could rely on him made things easier when I came out more broadly.”

“Like what you and the other Shadow Dragons are doing for me,” Taash said.

“Right,” Rook said. “Second, if there was a guide then we’d all end up in a box again. One of the things I like about being non-binary is the freedom. I can be who I want, outside of boxes and expectations. I know figuring that out is hard and seems daunting, but it’s worth it to live as who you are.”

“Maevaris said something like that too,” Taash said. “Do you do anything besides the potions? Tarquin talked about binding.”

“I used to do that,” Rook said. “Before my surgery.”

“Surgery?”

“Basically I had my breasts cut off,” Rook said. “I have some pretty cool scars on my chest from it.”

“I didn’t know you could do that,” Taash said.

“I didn't either, until I moved to Minrathous.”

“It felt good?”

“I was so happy when I woke up that I cried,” Rook said. “I had a lot of dysphoria about my chest. The binding helped but it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world and it never looked right. After the surgery… it was like I was finally who I was supposed to be.”

“Can you teach me about binding?” Taash asked. “I don’t know if I’ll like it but I want to try.”

“‘Course,” Rook said. “Next time we’re in Minrathous we can get what you need.”

“Thanks.”

“Anything else?”

“Tarquin made a comment about your name,” Taash said.

“That’s a running joke in the Shadows,” Rook said. “I’ve changed it a lot so anytime we find something with a name we don’t know, they attribute it to me.”

“How many times have you changed it?”

“Rook’s my eighth.”

“That’s a lot.”

“So I’m told,” Rook said. “But names are just words, you know?”
“No,” Taash said. “But thanks anyways. For sharing all that.”

“Anytime, Taash,” Rook said. “I’m happy that you’re figuring yourself out and I hope I’m helping.”

“I am. And you are. So thanks again.”

“I should go see if I can find a dictionary,” Rook said. “You know where to find me.”

“Hey,” Taash said as Rook was leaving. “Emmrich’s a good guy.” They stopped and turned back to their friend.

“Does that mean you two are getting along better?” they asked.
“What?” Taash looked confused. “Oh. Yeah. We are.”

“Good.”

“That's not what I was talking about.”

“Okay?”

“He likes you.”

“I know.”

“I mean he likes you.”

“Yeah, Taash, I know,” Rook said. “I can tell when someone’s into me.” Plus he’d told them. 

“‘Kay.” Taash looked like they had something else to say.

“Is there something you’re trying to get at?” Rook asked.

“No,” Taash said unconvincingly.

“Okay,” Rook said, knowing when not to push. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah.” As they left, a bit confused but happy they could help their friend, Rook's thoughts turned to Emmrich. He passed the Asshole test with flying colours. He not only immediately discounted the people who didn’t accept Rook’s gender as fools, but also stated that there was nothing as attractive as someone who had found themself. Simply thinking about it was enough to make Rook flush and it was increasingly difficult to stop themself from admiring Emmrich’s physical attributes.

Manfred’s interruption had stopped that conversation from progressing the way Rook wanted and now they were in this weird relationship limbo where they both knew they liked each other but hadn’t actually committed to anything. They needed to finish that conversation, but there never seemed to be a good time. Maker, it shouldn’t be this hard. Rook was 38. Shouldn’t they be past all this dancing around each other nonsense?

Maybe they should just kiss him. It was an extremely tempting idea and Rook doubted Emmrich would protest, but it was also a heart not a head idea. No, they would do this properly. The next time Rook had a day off — okay, the next time they had a few hours off — they would talk to Emmrich. First, though, they needed to check in with the team and see if the Wardens had news on the Blight. Rook took a breath, attempted to put Emmrich from their mind, and headed for the dining hall.

Notes:

Poor Taash has to deal with Rook and Emmrich's scents going crazy anytime they're in the same room together. Unfortunately for them, I'm pretty sure it only gets worse once they actually get together.

If you haven't seen any of the trans/non-binary stuff in Veilguard, I highly recommend looking it up. There's a specific dialogue option during the first conversation where Taash starts to question their gender that made me cry the first time I played the game. I felt very seen in a way I haven't experience with other games and Erika Ishii's delivery is just so excellent. You also get a conversation with Maevaris which I love and there's romance-specific options as well. The delivery on Emmrich's "there's nothing so attractive as someone who's found themselves" line has to be heard, it is so good.

I wrote some party banter that follows up from this chapter, you can find it here!

Chapter 5

The kiss was brief, barely more than a brush of his lips against theirs. It wasn’t what Rook imagined for their first kiss with Emmrich, but they also hadn’t expected a literal shower of ghostly flower petals.

“What a day of unexpected splendor,” Emmrich murmured. Rook smiled and drew him back in. This time his lips brushed their neck and Rook’s sigh turned into a gasp as he found a particularly sensitive spot. After a minute of that, they pushed just hard enough on his shoulder to move him back slightly.

“You should kiss me properly.” Emmrich smiled.

“It would be my distinct pleasure.” This was what Rook imagined kissing Emmrich would be like. His tongue swept into their mouth confidently as they slid a hand up into his hair. They’d spent a not insignificant amount of time considering what a disheveled Emmrich might look like and now they could find out. Rook lost all sense of time, completely taken by the feeling of Emmrich’s hands on their body and his mouth on theirs. They could have quite happily stayed like that forever.

There was an inquisitive hiss and they broke apart. Emmrich took a step back, leaving Rook’s head spinning. His hair was a mess, stray pieces flopping forward into his eyes and his usually immaculate clothes were rumpled. He had never looked hotter.

“Ah, Manfred.” Emmrich cleared his throat. “We were… well. I will explain later.”

“That’ll be a fun conversation,” Rook said, adjusting their sash.

“We will need to discuss privacy as well.” Manfred tilted his head curiously.

“That’s a good idea,” Rook said. “This is the second time he’s interrupted us.”

“I can’t promise it won’t happen again, darling, but I will talk to him.”

“Darling?”

“Is that all right?”

“Yeah,” Rook said with a smile. Emmrich was so… genuine. It was nice, but having a partner who was so open with his feelings was going to take some getting used to.

“Good.” Emmrich finished straightening his clothes but seemed unaware that his hair was still a (very attractive) mess. “Shall we return to the Lighthouse?”

“Maybe we should take a minute,” Rook said. “Manfred, do you have a mirror?” The skeleton hissed affirmatively and turned around. Rook opened his backpack and found a small hand mirror.

“If you’re concerned about your appearance, darling, you look lovely, as always,” Emmrich said.

“It’s not me I’m worried about,” Rook said, holding out the mirror.

“Ah.” Emmrich retrieved a comb from Manfred.

“I don’t mind,” Rook said. “It’s much better than I thought it would be.”

“‘It’ being…?” Emmrich asked as he fixed his hair.

“You being disheveled,” they said. “It’s very attractive.” He paused.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said. “Is that something you’ve spent a lot of time considering?”

“Maybe,” Rook said. “Haven’t you thought about what I would look like after you kissed me?”

“It may have crossed my mind,” Emmrich admitted, his face turning very slightly pink. Rook smirked and returned the mirror to Manfred. Emmrich offered his arm and they began to walk towards the exit.

“So are we telling people about us or…?” Rook asked.

“I don’t see a need to announce it,” Emmrich said. “That said, I have no intention of lying to anyone either.”

“Okay, so we won’t volunteer it but we won’t deny it either?”

“If that is alright with you.”

“Sure.” When they reached the door out of the gardens, Rook stopped. “Emmrich, I’m really happy about us, but I don’t want you to think I’m ignoring everything else you told me. I’d be lying if I said the whole lich thing didn’t change anything, but it doesn’t change how much I like you. If becoming a lich is your dream then I support that.”

“Thank you, Rook,” Emmrich said. “That means a great deal. I know it’s not an easy prospect to consider, especially at the beginning of a relationship.”

“It’s certainly not what I imagined when I was younger,” they said. “But I also never thought I’d be fighting two elven-slash-Tevinter gods while dealing with a third in my head.”

“Life is ever surprising.”

“That’s one way of putting it.” Rook turned to face him. “Whatever happens with Hezenkoss and the gods and whatever else gets thrown at us, I’m glad that we’ll face it together.”

“As am I,” Emmrich said. “Rook, I know that the burden you carry as our leader is not light. I certainly don’t envy the decisions you have to make. If there is anything I can do to make things easier for you, you have but to ask.” Rook didn’t quite know how to respond. Their first instinct was to make a joke, but the earnestness with which Emmrich made his offer gave them pause.

“You’re sweet,” they said. “Thanks.” They shared another kiss before leaving the gardens, ready to face whatever came next together.

Notes:

I'm not sure exactly how long Manfred has been around, but Emmrich does say that he was too busy teaching him in the past few years for company so I'm assuming that Manfred has not experienced Emmrich in a relationship. I'm sure he's seen people kissing before just from being out in the world, but that's not the same as seeing your dad and new friend make out lol.

Chapter 6

Notes:

There was supposed to be a scene in-between the previous chapter and this one but I couldn't quite get it to work. The quick summary is Lucanis and Rook having to cut their training short because Rook's distracted, at which point Lucanis and Neve reveal that everyone except Bellara knows about them and Emmrich and there are bets on when Bellara will realize. I'm only mentioning it because it comes up in a couple of chapters from now. If I can ever get it to come out right, I'll come back and insert it.

Five Days Later

“Rook,” Tarquin said as they headed for the eluvian. “I have something for you.”

“Aw, you got me a gift?” Rook teased. Tarquin rolled his eyes.

“I found these while cleaning out some old papers at the archive,” he said. “I thought you might want them.” On the table was a stack of wanted posters with Rook’s face, proclaiming a large reward for the capture of Dio Mercar for the crimes of theft, murder, and property damage.

“Are these from Nessus?” Rook asked, picking one up.

“They were everywhere for a while,” Ashur said. “There’s a few in there that we ‘corrected.’” Rook flipped through the pile until they found one that was stamped with the Shadow Dragons’ mark. Their crimes were crossed out and replaced with “Brought the Light.”

“This is amazing,” Rook said. “Thanks, Tarquin.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said. “I thought you’d like it. Wasn’t sure how many names you’ve told your team, though.”

“I’m pretty sure Neve knows all of them,” they said. “I guess the others are about to learn this one.”

“It must be almost time for you to change it again,” Tarquin said. “It has been over a year.”

“What can I say,” Rook said, spreading their arms. “I like to keep people guessing.”

“You’re certainly good at that,” Ashur said.

“I do my best.” Rook took the stack of posters, said goodbye to their friends, and headed back to the Lighthouse. The only one around when they returned was Manfred. He hissed happily when he saw Rook.

“Hi Manfred.” The skeleton pointed at the stack of papers Rook was carrying and hissed inquisitively. “Oh, these? They’re wanted posters.” Rook held one out so he could see. Manfred took the poster, looked between the drawing and Rook, and tilted his head.

“Yes, it’s me.” Manfred hissed excitedly and pointed at the stack. “You want another one?” He nodded and Rook gave him two more, one normal and one “corrected”. Manfred was even more delighted by the vandalized one. He hissed again.

“You’re welcome.” A few hours later Rook was relaxing in the dining hall with a cup of coffee and one of the novels they’d picked up in Minrathous. This particular series was about a poor boy who discovered he was a mage and was sponsored by a mysterious benefactor to attend the Minrathous Circle. The books were terrible and full of propaganda but Rook loved them. They glanced up as the door to the hall opened.

“Ah, there you are, darling,” Emmrich said. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Oh?” Rook closed the book. “What’s up?”

“Manfred gave me this.” He held out one of the wanted posters.

“Of course he did,” they said. “And? Are you scandalized to learn that I’m a criminal?”

“Hardly,” Emmrich said, taking a seat across from them. “I assume this is related to the incident that forced you to leave Minrathous.”

“It is,” they said. “It’s how I ended up with Varric and Harding.”

“I remember,” he said. “You freed a large number of slaves which brought you to the attention of the Venatori.”

“The Viper wanted me to play it safe,” Rook said. “But we had the chance to stand up to the Venatori and the magisters backing them. How could I pass up the opportunity to help all those people?” Emmrich smiled.

“You couldn’t,” he said. “One of the many things I admire about you.”

“Thanks.” Rook waited for the inevitable question.

“Where did this poster come from?” Emmrich asked. Rook was taken aback. That was not what they were expecting.

“Tarquin found them,” they said. “There’s a few that the Shadows ‘corrected’ as well. Manfred was interested so I gave him a couple.”

“He’s quite taken with them,” Emmrich said. “He likes having a picture of you.”

“That’s cute.”

“Do you want this back?”

“You can keep it,” Rook said. “I have a whole stack.”

“Very well.” Emmrich folded it up and tucked it in a pocket. “I’ll let you return to your book.” He stood.

“You’re not going to ask about the name?”

“Your previous names are not my concern,” Emmrich said. “Unless you want to share with me, of course.” A warmth bloomed in Rook’s chest. They stood and kissed him.

“It’s going to take a while,” Rook said. “Want some tea?” A few minutes later the couple settled down in the corner with drinks and a few snacks.

“As you probably guessed, Rook isn’t my birth name,” they said. “It’s Varric’s nickname that I adopted more permanently after the Nessus thing. It’s not a great idea to go around using a name on a wanted poster, so I switched.”

“It was that easy?”

“Names are just words,” they said with a shrug. “Rook’s the eighth name I’ve gone by.”

“That is quite a few,” Emmrich said. “Just under one every five years.”

“It’s not like that,” they said with a laugh. “I don’t go ‘it’s been three years, time to change!’, no matter what Tarquin claims. There’s usually a reason.”

“Such as being run out of Minrathous for breaking up a slavery ring?” Emmrich suggested.

“Exactly.” Rook sipped their tea. “You shared your background with me, it only seems fair that I do the same.”

“What you’ve already told me is intriguing,” Emmrich said. “If you want to share, I am more than happy to listen.”

“My family's military, but I’m adopted,” Rook said. “My dad found me after a skirmish and no one has any idea where I came from. My mom wanted a second kid but the healers said she couldn’t, so they took me in.”

“You were left on a battlefield?” Emmrich asked.

“Weird, right? The assumption is that my birth parents died in the fighting, but why they brought me to the battle in the first place is a mystery.” Rook sat back in their chair. “It wasn’t easy growing up as an elf in Tevinter, but it could’ve been a lot worse. At least I’m a full citizen.”

“You’re soporoti, correct?” Emmrich asked. “A non-mage?”
“Yeah. Most elves are enslaved or liberati, so in that way I’m lucky. Of course I’m also a criminal so I’m not exactly sure what my current status is.”

“Where did you grow up?” Emmrich asked. “Minrathous?”

“Just outside Ventus,” Rook said. “My dad was a Legatus — a commander — there. My mom served as well, until she got pregnant. My brother’s birth was difficult, so after that she stayed home to run the house and raise the two of us.”

“You have a brother?”

“Julius,” Rook said. “Two years older and the golden boy. He is everything my dad wants in an heir: smart, strong, loyal, focused… the perfect person to continue the Mercar legacy. Me on the other hand…” They shrugged.

“Rook…”

“It’s fine,” they said. “I would have been miserable doing all that. In a lot of ways it was easier that he fit the mould because it meant that I didn’t have to.”

“Still, it can’t have been easy.”

“I was pretty lucky, all things considered,” Rook said. “My dad was away a lot and we have our differences, I got along with my mom and Julius and I have always been close. He stood up for me when people were assholes about my race and later my gender. The only thing I really resented him for was getting to leave the compound whenever he wanted.”

“Which you couldn’t?”
“The elf thing,” Rook said. “Most people would assume I was a servant and treat me accordingly. My parents decided it would be best if I didn’t have to deal with that, so I stayed home.”

“And how did you feel about it?” Emmrich asked. Rook shrugged.

“They meant well, and I certainly didn’t miss being treated poorly, but it’s one of the things that led to me leaving,” they said. “A good thing about it all is that I’m reasonably well-educated. Not compared to you, maybe, but for a Tevinter elf? I studied all the same things as Julius: history, math, strategy, geography… Definitely had to unlearn the propaganda and I’m not super familiar with non-Tevinter history, but I know more than people expect.”

“Is this when you learned the piano?” Emmrich asked.

“My mom taught me,” Rook said. “I have great memories of playing with her. There was also combat training, of course.”

“Your fighting style doesn’t strike me as particularly military.” Rook laughed.

“Not at all. My dad tried to get me to learn sword and shield, but my strength has always been my speed. Fortunately my teacher recognized that and suggested I change my focus. I learned the bow and swords formally. The less military stuff I picked up from some of the soldiers and after I left.”

“Were you actually in the military?” Emmrich said. “Your temperament doesn’t seem suited for that life.”

“Can you imagine?” Rook asked with a laugh. “No. For one thing, men and women serve differently and there’s no space for someone outside of that binary. Luckily Julius enlisted as soon as he was old enough so there wasn’t as much pressure on me. I did odd jobs around the compound, sort of an unofficial assistant to my dad.”

“And eventually you left.”

“I was 20,” Rook said. “My parents were always relatively progressive, but my views were more radical than theirs. When I was 19 I started passing military information to a group in Ventus that was helping free enslaved people. I was caught eventually and the soldier who found me took me to my dad. We argued and both said some things that are hard to take back. He locked me in my room to ‘cool off’ and said he would decide what to do with me in the morning. I packed a bag, climbed out the window, and left.”

“What about your mother and brother?”

“Julius was away,” Rook said. “Mom helped me escape. She came to see me as I was packing. I thought she would tell Dad but instead she said to wait for half an hour and she would distract him. She knew I couldn’t stay. I’m glad I got to say goodbye to her.”

“Is this when you first changed your name?” Emmrich asked.

“No,” Rook said. “I started coming to terms with my gender when I was 14. The only person I told was Jules. He started using ‘they’ and a different name when we were alone. I came out to my parents a year later and legally changed my name to Kel. They were really good about it. They made a few mistakes, but adapted to the name and pronouns pretty quickly.”

“That must have made things easier,” Emmrich said.

“Yeah,” Rook said. “There’s a lot I’m grateful to them for, even if we didn’t leave things on the best of terms.”

“Did you stay in contact with them after you left?”

“With my mom a bit and Julius a lot,” Rook said. “I knew that whatever I told my mom, she’d tell Dad, so I didn’t give her as many details about what I was up to as I did to Julius. Then suddenly out of the blue I received a letter from Dad that he wanted to meet.”

“Did you?”

“No,” Rook said. “I received the letter the same day the Antaam invaded Ventus eight years ago. For a long time I didn’t even know if any of them were alive.”

“That must have been difficult,” Emmrich said. “And now?”

“My mom was in the city when it was invaded,” Rook said. “We still don’t know what happened to her. Last I heard, my dad and brother were leading the fight against the Antaam. I sent a letter right after Nessus but haven’t heard anything back.”

“I’m sorry about your mother,” Emmrich said. “And I hope you hear from the rest of your family soon.”

“Thanks.” Rook drained their cup. “Maybe we should be drinking something stronger.”

“Wine?” Emmrich asked, standing.

“Absolutely.” He retrieved a bottle and two glasses.

“What did you do after you left?” he asked as he poured.

“I was with a group of mercenaries for about a year,” Rook said. “I picked up some distinctly un-military skills there. It wasn’t what I wanted, though, mostly working for various wealthy soporoti and not actually helping anyone. After a particularly lucrative job, I left on good terms. That’s when things get… interesting.”

“Oh?” Before Rook could continue, the door to the hall opened.

“Rook, Emmrich,” Neve said. “I’m not interrupting, am I?”

“It’s fine,” Rook said. “We’re just talking.”

“Then I have something for you.” She produced a paper. “Fred showed me a wanted poster and it jogged my memory.”

“He’s showing it to everyone, isn’t he?” Rook sighed. “I should have seen that coming.”

“He admires you, darling,” Emmrich said.

“I dug this up,” Neve said, holding out a Minrathous paper. “It’s from just after the Nessus job.”

“I was in the papers?” Rook asked, taking it from Neve.

“You pissed off the Venatori and the magisters supporting them,” Neve said. “Of course you were in the paper. You’re not named, but it’s there.”

“This is great,” Rook said. “But why do you even have this?”

“I like the serial chapter,” Neve said. “So Emmrich, how’s it feel to be in a relationship with a wanted criminal?”

“It’s an interesting moral quandary,” Emmrich said. “Is it still a crime if the law is unjust? Legally speaking, the answer is clearly yes, but ethically?”

“I’ll have to try that logic next time I get arrested,” Rook said.

“Next time?” Emmrich asked.

“We’ll get there.”

“Talking about your past?” Neve asked. “That explains the wine. We’ll have to compare notes later, see what Rook’s hiding.”

“That just means I have to keep my lies straight,” Rook said.

“Good luck with that,” Neve said. “By the way, do you want me to erase your previous names from my file?”

“Only the name my parents gave me,” Rook said. “The rest don’t bother me.”

“I’ll do that right now,” Neve said. “Enjoy the paper. And the stories.”

“Neve seems to know quite a bit about your past,” Emmrich commented when she was gone.

“She is a detective,” Rook said. “I’m sure she has files on all of us. Mine’s probably a bit more filled out since I’m Tevinter.”

“Of course.” He sipped his drink. “You said things were about to get interesting?”
“Right.” Rook sat back. “After I left the mercenary company, I was captured by slavers.” Emmrich choked on his wine.

“What?” Rook patted his arm.

“It’s cute that that surprises you,” they said. “A lone elf wandering Tevinter? It'd be more surprising if I wasn’t.”

“You were a slave?” Emmrich asked, aghast.

“No,” Rook said. “I escaped immediately. Freed everyone else too. It turns out one of the other captives was a member of a resistance group. I impressed her and she brought me in. Some of the group were Dalish elves who’d been captured in the Free Marches and brought north. They taught me Elven as well as some history and culture.”

“And this led you to the Shadow Dragons?” Emmrich posited.

“Eventually,” Rook said. “After a couple of years that group was busted up by the authorities and we went our separate ways. I wandered for a bit then fell in with a new group near Vyrantium. When the Breach happened and the Venatori started causing trouble, I worked with a few different groups to fight them. Shortly after Corypheus’s defeat, a bunch of us decided to go to Minrathous. A few years after that the group I was working with was recruited whole-cloth into the Shadow Dragons and the rest is history.”

“That is quite the story,” Emmrich said. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“I guess?” Rook drank some wine. “It’s not like any of it was particularly terrible. I’ve always been good at finding my way out of trouble. It’s one of the reasons Varric recruited me.”

“How long have you been with the Shadow Dragons?”

“Seven years,” Rook said. “I didn’t know it at the time, but the group I was part of was one of the first that was brought in when Maevaris took the Lucerni underground. I’ve basically been there since the beginning.”

“And you wonder why I think of you as an adventurer,” Emmrich said.

“There were a lot of name changes in there, usually after I was arrested and escaped,” Rook said. “I’ve never felt attached to my name. I’m still me, no matter what someone calls me. I know that can be a difficult concept for people to understand.”

“I admit, I don’t,” Emmrich said. “But what’s important is that it works for you.”

“Who knows, maybe Rook will be the one to stick,” they said. “Thanks for listening to all that.”
“I could listen to you talk forever, darling,” Emmrich said.

“You are such a sweet talker.”

“I mean every word.” Rook shook their head with a smile and kissed him. They were interrupted by the door opening once again.

“Hey Rook,” Davrin said as he and Lucanis entered. “Emmrich.” Rook sat back with a sigh, wishing the kiss had lasted longer.

“Are we interrupting?” Lucanis asked.

“Too late now,” Rook said. “What’s up?”

“I found this,” Davrin said, holding up one of the wanted posters.

“Of course,” Rook said. “Wait, you found it?”

“Yeah. It was on my work table.”

“I found one on the Caretaker’s stand,” Lucanis said.

“Okay…” Rook looked at Emmrich for confirmation.

“It doesn’t sound like Manfred, darling,” he said. “I would venture to say it’s the wisps.”

“Great.” Rook finished their glass of wine.

“You know, when we had that conversation about Wardens being made up of the wrong sort, I didn’t realize it was so personal,” Davrin said. “We could use some new Wardens after Weisshaupt.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll stick with the Shadows,” Rook said. “Freeing enslaved people and fighting Venatori is much more appealing than the Blight.”

“I’m more interested in the reward,” Lucanis said. “Do you think it’s still good?”
“You’re going to turn me in?” Rook asked.

“We could use the money,” Lucanis said. “We’d break you out, of course, or better yet, get you the proper tools so you can get yourself out. It’s cleaner that way.”

“Are you speaking from experience?” Emmrich asked.

“Of course.”

“Jailbreaking was never my speciality,” Rook said. “Also at this point the Venatori would probably just kill me.”

“So much for that idea,” Davrin said.

“We should start dinner,” Lucanis said. Davrin nodded and they made their way over to the kitchen.

“I should go find out how many of those posters the wisps spread around,” Rook said, standing.

“I’ll clean up here,” Emmrich said. “Rook, I hope you get the chance to see your family, once all this is over. I would very much like to meet your brother in particular.”

“Thanks,” Rook said. “I’ll see you later?”

“I look forward to it.”

Notes:

Lore dump!

Fun fact, this is one of the first things I wrote back in November. It was a way for me to get Rook's backstory straight for myself. It's been edited a lot since then, both in terms of changing certain events but also making it what Rook would actually tell Emmrich at this point in their relationship.

I appreciate everyone who actually uses the name they entered during character creation in their writing. I actually spent a lot of time thinking about mine (Dio), only to decide that Rook's name is Rook now. I'm currently trying to decide if they change it post-game and if so, what they change it to. Names are hard.

There's some party banter related to Rook and Emmrich starting their relationship here. I'm especially proud of the one with Davrin.

Chapter 7

Emmrich knew that Rook was not being honest with him.

Perhaps that was unfair. Rook wasn’t lying to him, precisely, but they had yet to entirely drop their façade, even when they were alone. They brushed off his concerns about their well-being and his attempts to get them to talk about Varric were rebuffed. There were moments, such as when they told him about their family, but even then there was clearly something more to the circumstances surrounding why they left home.

It was obvious that Rook’s flippancy and seemingly bottomless cheer was a defense mechanism, although what precisely they were defending against Emmrich had yet to determine. For the time being all he could do was be patient and support them as best he could.

He found his partner lying on the chaise in their room with a stack of papers on the table beside them, staring at the ceiling. There was a weariness in them that Emmrich hadn’t seen before. For a moment it felt like he was intruding, but they had given him permission to enter without knocking.

“Darling.” Rook started and then smiled.

“Emmrich.”

“Are you all right?” he asked as they sat up.

“Too many reports,” Rook said wryly. “Who knew leading a team involves this much paperwork.” Whatever they were feeling before he interrupted was swept away, replaced by their usual cheer.

“Is that all?”

“What do you mean?” they replied, moving close as soon as he sat. If Emmrich’s primary way of expressing affection was his words, Rook’s was touch. Even if he was in conversation with someone else and they were passing by, there was something. A brush on his arm, a press on his shoulder, as if to say “I see you and I am here.”

“You can talk to me, dearest,” Emmrich said. “I meant it when I said I wish to ease the burden of leadership that you bear.” Rook smiled.

“You do. Spending time with you is always the best part of my day.”

“Rook.” Emmrich took both their hands in his, deciding to push just a bit. “It must be exhausting being our leader. While the rest of us have time to recover between excursions and tend to our needs, you do not have that luxury. I don’t know how you have the energy to assist all of us with our personal affairs while also helping our allies, planning on how to defeat the gods, and dealing with Solas.”

“I don’t have a choice,” Rook said. “We’re the only ones who can stop the gods.”

“I know,” Emmrich said. “But I worry about you. The brave face you put on, reassuring us all that we can do this… I don’t wish for you to feel that you have to be the fearless leader with me. Being uncertain about all of this is perfectly natural and you don’t have to pretend otherwise.” Rook studied his face for a minute.

“You think I don’t trust you.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But it is what you believe.” Rook removed their hands from Emmrich’s grasp and he was afraid he’d pushed too far.

“Darling, I-”

“You’re not wrong but you’re not right either.” Rook leaned forward and put their elbows on their knees. “I do trust you. We wouldn’t be together if I didn’t. I don’t fully trust you, though, and before you ask, no, it’s nothing you’ve done.”

“Then what-”

“It’s complicated,” Rook said. “And honestly, I don’t think it’s something you’ll understand.” Emmrich was glad they were being honest with him, but that didn’t mean their admission didn’t sting.

“We won’t know unless you tell me.” Rook straightened and turned so they were facing him.

“You know what I like about you, Emmrich?” they asked, putting a hand on his cheek. “You have only ever seen me for me. That’s a rare thing.”

“I’m not sure I follow.” Rook smiled softly, completely unlike their usual bright smile.

“I know you don’t,” they said. “That’s why I don’t think you’ll understand.” Emmrich was at a loss. He had no idea what Rook meant by seeing them for themselves or why that meant he wouldn’t understand their reasons for not trusting him. They said it wasn’t anything he had done, but how could that be true?

“Hey,” Rook said, bringing Emmrich back. “This is a me thing, okay? You have done nothing wrong. Being vulnerable like you want isn’t easy for me and we’ve only been together two weeks. It’s going to take time.”

“I understand,” Emmrich said. “I shouldn’t have pushed like that. I apologize.”

“You’re fine,” they said. “It’s nice having someone who worries about me like you do. I’ll try to be more open about how I’m feeling.”

“I care about you, Rook,” he said. “Whatever you need, you have but to ask.”

“How about a kiss?”

“As you wish.”

Notes:

This was inspired by the part in their dinner date when Emmrich says he's worried about Rook and the humourous option is basically "nah, I'm good" like okay Rook you are absolutely not good you have two different voices in your head. I love when your companions call Rook out on this, Bellara does it when she says Rook's a good person and Harding does it multiple times. My favourite is "You're trying to ask me how I am. Something breezy but not too flippant?" Damn Harding, get 'em.

We all know that Emmrich is deeply in love and already has their wedding planned (I love him) but Rook needs time. I think they were more like Emmrich when they were younger in terms of falling in love very easily, but experience has made them more guarded. Luckily Emmrich is a patient man.

Chapter 8

Rook was sitting in the library reading a report from Minrathous. The Venatori were up to something, as usual. Maybe Neve had some leads. There was a hiss and they looked up.

“Hi Manfred,” they said. “Do you need something?” The skeleton hissed inquisitively and touched the sides of his head.

“Okay…” Rook wasn’t nearly as good at Emmrich as understanding Manfred, but they were learning. “You have a question. About… my head?” Manfred hissed affirmatively. “Oh! Is it my ears?” Manfred nodded and pointed at them.

“Yes, I have ears,” Rook said. “They’re hidden under my hair. See?” Rook pulled their hair up, revealing that they did, in fact, have ears. “Just as pointed as any other elf’s.” Manfred hissed happily, then held his hands a bit away from the sides of his head.

“Yeah, my hair’s really curly,” they said, letting it fall back down. “And let me guess… you want to touch it.” Manfred hissed affirmatively. “Go for it. But no cutting bits off, okay?” Manfred nodded and went behind Rook, hissing happily. They picked up the next report as Manfred tentatively touched the sides of their hair. After a few minutes of touching and lifting, they felt their hair being tugged back.

“Are you doing something to my hair?” Manfred hissed happily. “I’m going to regret agreeing to this, aren’t I?” Despite their misgivings, Rook smiled. It was hard to be upset with Manfred. He was so earnest and curiosity was his nature. They couldn’t blame him for exploring.

“Hey, Rook, did you see the message from Strife?” Bellara entered the library. “I- oh!” Manfred hissed.

“I did,” Rook said. “We’ll check things out, don’t worry.”

“Um, right.”

“Rook, I think I might have something,” Neve said. “I’m going to follow up on a few leads, then…” She trailed off.

“Okay, yes, I said Manfred could touch my hair,” Rook said. “I’m not entirely sure what he’s doing but based on your expressions I’m guessing it’s not great.”

“Oh, well…” Bellara glanced at Neve. “It’s… different?”

“Are you enjoying yourself, Fred?” Neve asked. Manfred hissed enthusiastically.

“Maybe he’s never seen curly hair before?” Bellara suggested.

“That’s a possibility,” Neve said. “More likely he’s seen someone else touching Rook’s hair and is imitating that.”

“You think he’s copying Emmrich?” Rook asked.

“Sure,” Neve said. “It makes sense.”

“Why would the Professor be touching your hair?” Bellara asked.

“Bel,” Neve said, amused. “You still don’t know?”

“That’s pretty impressive,” Rook said. “We stopped trying to be subtle after three days.”

“You were never subtle,” Neve said.

“Are you saying that you’re together?” Bellara asked. “Like together together? That would explain why he’s been so distracted lately.”

“Emmrich and I are… seeing how things go,” Rook said. Manfred hissed happily.

“Well, someone approves,” Neve said.

“But if Manfred is copying the Professor by touching your hair…” Bellara mused.

“It’s been interesting,” Rook said. “Emmrich had a talk with him.”

“I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that,” Neve said.

“I think it was more about privacy than mechanics.”

“Right. Well, if Fred goes around trying to kiss people, we know who to blame.”

“Let’s really hope it doesn’t come to that,” Rook said.

“What’s this about kissing?” Lucanis asked, appearing as if from nowhere.

“Wha- How long have you been here?” Rook demanded.

“Long enough.” Lucanis considered them. “You know, it doesn’t look as bad as you might think. You could ask Manfred to help you prepare for your next date.”

“I’m so glad this has turned into ‘embarrass Rook because they can’t move.’”

“We’ll call it team building,” Neve said.

“Oh? In that case, I should get the others,” Lucanis said.

“Lucanis!” Rook groaned as the assassin left. “I try to be nice to Manfred and this is what I get in return?”

“I guess the lesson is… don’t let a skeleton do your hair?” Bellara suggested.

“I don’t know,” Neve said. “If the skeleton used to be a hairdresser it would probably be okay.”

“We heard Rook’s getting their hair done?” Harding said as she, Davrin, and Lucanis entered the room.

“Looks great,” Davrin said with a smirk. Manfred hissed happily.

“You can all fuck off,” Rook said.

“Is that any way to talk to your team?” Harding asked. “What would Varric say?”

“After Weisshaupt, this is exactly the kind of morale booster I need,” Davrin said.

“I hate all of you,” Rook said as a door opened behind them.

“...I hope that helps,” Emmrich’s voice said, getting closer. He and Taash had gone somewhere together, and of course now was the exact time they returned.

“Yeah. It does,” Taash said. “Thanks.”

“Not at all.”

“You’re just in time,” Davrin said.

“For what?” Taash asked as they and Emmrich came up the stairs.

“Team bonding,” Harding said.

“Rook got themselves into a situation,” Neve said.

“And we decided it was best to enjoy it while it lasts,” Lucanis finished.

“What kind of situation?” Emmrich asked.

“This is your fault,” Rook said to Manfred.

“Huh,” Taash said. “You do have ears under there.”

“Right now I wish I didn’t.” Manfred hissed triumphantly and let go of Rook’s hair. “Okay, show’s over.” There was some good-natured grumbling as Rook stood but everyone filtered out of the library except Emmrich and Manfred.

“How do I look?” Rook asked, turning to face their partner.

“You always look lovely, darling,” Emmrich said.

“Flatterer,” they said with a smile.

“I do apologize for Manfred.”

“It’s fine,” they said. “I said he could. He was curious about my hair. And if I have ears.”

“I suppose he hasn’t seen anyone with hair as curly as yours,” Emmrich said.

“Neve thinks he’s imitating you.”

“Ah.” Emmrich regarded the skeleton. “I suppose that could be the case.” Manfred hissed affirmatively.

“No touching anyone’s hair without asking first, okay?” Rook said. Manfred nodded and wandered off.

“I still have no idea what I look like,” they said. “But I’m guessing I’ll need help undoing whatever it is.”

“I would be happy to assist.” They went to Emmrich’s room and Rook picked up a mirror.

“Wow.” Their hair was all over the place. One side was piled on top of their head, held in place by quite a lot of string, while the other had multiple clumps of curls pulled in different directions. “Maybe I should keep it. If I showed up like this the gods might die laughing.”

“I appreciate you indulging Manfred, darling,” Emmrich said as they settled in, Rook on the floor in front of his armchair with him behind them. “Your respect for and interest in Nevarran culture is refreshing.”

“I like to keep an open mind,” Rook said. “Just because your death customs are different from the rest of Thedas doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Besides, I’m Tevinter. Nothing you’ve shown me is that much weirder than some of the stuff the magisters get up to. You know there were once flying cows over Minrathous?”

“I had heard that, but I assumed it was another exaggeration of Tevinter’s strangeness.”

“Nope. They didn’t have wings, but they flew.” Rook tilted their head back and looked up at Emmrich. “It’s really nice having you play with my hair.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, leaning down and giving them a kiss. “However, if you wish for me to take all the string out, you will have to sit up.” Rook sighed and straightened again. Manfred’s interest in their hair and ears… Maybe this was a good time to try being vulnerable with Emmrich. Well. Here goes nothing.

“When I was younger I had a lot of weird hang-ups about my hair.”

“Oh?”

“I always felt like I had to wear it a certain way,” they said. “Specifically, I had to show my ears. If I didn’t, it felt like cheating. Like I was trying to hide that I was an elf.”

“I recall you saying that people often assumed you were your parents’ servant.”

“It wasn’t great,” Rook said. “I went out once with my hair loose and was treated so much better. It was jarring. That’s when I came to the conclusion that if I covered my ears I wasn’t a real elf.”

“And your parents didn’t have anything to say about it?” Emmrich asked, sounding shocked.

“I don’t think they noticed,” Rook said. “Race wasn’t really something they ever brought up. I mean, they would say something if someone was being rude about me, but we never talked about it explicitly.”

“Still, to not notice something like that in your child…”

“It was complicated,” Rook said, not ready to get into the nuances of their childhood just yet. “Anyways, it turned out that all of that was also tangled up with my gender. When I first started experimenting, I cut off all my hair with a knife. It looked terrible, but it felt so good to do. As I became more comfortable with myself, I started growing it out again and I also became more comfortable with everything else. I realized that my internal expectations about how to be a ‘real’ elf were just as silly as gender expectations, and I never looked back.”

“I find it hard to imagine you concerned with that,” Emmrich said. “You’re so confident in who you are.”

“It took a long time to get here.”

“And not everyone does,” he said. “Your confidence in yourself is one of the things that drew me to you.”

“Aw, thanks.”

“There we are,” Emmrich said. “I believe that’s all of it.” Rook stretched and stood.

“That’s a lot of string,” they said, looking at the pile.

“Manfred has always liked collecting strings,” he said. “Maker only knows why.”

“So he can do people’s hair?” Rook suggested.

“I doubt that was his original reason,” Emmrich said. “Thank you for sharing all that with me, darling.”

“I said I’d try to be more open with you.”

“I appreciate it,” he said. “I know that I am in no position to advise you on matters of race or gender, but I am always happy to listen.”

“The fact that you’re aware of that puts you ahead of a lot of people I’ve met.”

“I have no patience for people who can’t admit their own ignorance,” Emmrich said. “If nothing else, it’s an opportunity to learn. Why anyone would wish to stop learning new things is beyond me.” Rook smiled and kissed him. Opening up to him was the right decision.

“You’re adorable.”

“I’m glad you think so, my dear.” Rook kissed him again, more purposefully this time, and climbed onto his lap.

“I seem to have missed some string,” Emmrich said sometime later as they cuddled in the chair.

“That’s not surprising,” Rook said. “I’m pretty sure there’s still a hairpin floating around in there from five years ago.”

“If I find it, I’ll let you know,” Emmrich said. “May I?” Rook nodded and he began to work on their hair.

“Having trouble?” Rook asked a couple of minutes later.

“This particular piece is quite tangled,” Emmrich said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“If it’s that bad, you can just cut it out,” Rook said. “You must have scissors around here somewhere.” They stood and began to rummage through Emmrich’s desk.

“You don’t mind me cutting your hair?” he asked, surprised.

“Trust me, losing one curl isn’t going to make a difference,” Rook said, returning to him with a knife. “No one will notice.” Emmrich accepted the blade and only hesitated a moment before removing the tangle.

“For you,” he said, handing over the curl and attached string.

“It’s what I’ve always wanted,” Rook said with a laugh.

“You were right,” Emmrich said. “Even knowing where I cut it, I can’t tell it’s missing.”

“Having a lot of very curly hair can be really annoying sometimes,” Rook said. “It’s a nightmare when it’s humid. But for something like this, it’s great.” They contemplated the curl.

“Something on your mind?”

“You can’t do weird magic with someone’s hair, right?”

“Not unless it has your blood on it.”

“Then I’ll give it to Manfred,” Rook said. “A souvenir.”

“He’ll be delighted, darling,” Emmrich said. “He esteems you quite highly.”

“And apparently he approves of us,” Rook said. “Promise me you’ll make sure he stops trying to imitate you? The last thing we need is him going around trying to kiss people.”

“I’ll talk to him.” Emmrich yawned.

“Yeah, I’m tired too,” Rook said. “I really hope Solas doesn’t want anything. I always wake up more tired when I have to talk to him.”

“Understandable, from what you’ve said of your conversations,” Emmrich said. “Shall we?”

“You don’t have to walk me to my room you know,” Rook said as they left the laboratory. “It’s not like it’s far.”

“It’s only polite.” Rook shook their head, smiling. They’d never been with someone so gentlemanly before. It was nice.

“Good night,” they said when they reached Rook’s door.

“Sleep well, darling,” Emmrich said, kissing them one more time. Rook went to bed feeling more content than they had in years.

Notes:

If you haven't seen what my Rook looks like, they have the very last hair style option which is super curly. It does not matter how big you make the ears, they will not show. I figured that kind of thing could be pretty weird for a young elf being raised by humans, especially if they're also dealing with gender stuff. Thedas desperately needs someone to invent therapy, every single companion and main character needs it.

Chapter 9

“Hey, Neve,” Rook said as they entered the detective’s office.

“Rook,” she said. “Something up?”

“Nothing serious,” Rook said. “Want to do something fun?”

“Fun?” Neve sat back in her chair. “Like what?”

“I want to get some new clothes,” they said. “Maevaris recommended a place. I could use some company. And advice.”

“Sure,” she said. “Is anyone else coming?”

“If they want,” Rook said. “But uh… not Emmrich.”

“Really,” Neve said with a knowing smirk. “He’s at the Necropolis today, isn’t he?”

“That might not be entirely a coincidence,” Rook admitted.

“Got it,” Neve said. “I bet Bel would love to come.”

“I was going to ask Harding too.”

“Sounds good. Meet you at the Eluvian?” Rook nodded and went to find Harding, who was delighted.

“I picked up an extra,” Neve said as they approached the mirror.

“I thought I might be of assistance,” Lucanis said.

“The more the merrier,” Rook said. “Let’s go.”

“Is there an occasion for this?” Bellara asked once they were in the city. “Or are you just tired of wearing the same thing all the time?”

“There’s not an occasion per se,” Rook said.

“But we’re not supposed to tell Emmrich,” Neve added.

“Ah,” Lucanis said. “It’s for a date.”

“I thought it would be nice to dress up,” Rook said. “I feel bad that I didn’t do anything for the dinner he arranged. Plus, you know…” They sighed. “I’m too old to be this tongue-tied about it.”

“I think it’s cute,” Bellara said.

“It’s sweet,” Neve agreed.

“If it makes you feel better, Emmrich is just as awkward,” Harding said.

“That does help, actually,” Rook said. “I think this is it.” The tailor was in one of the middle class areas of Minrathous. The group entered the shop which was full of mannequins displaying outfits in a wide variety of styles.

“Welcome.” A middle aged elven woman with hazel eyes and greying brown hair pulled back in a bun stepped forward. “I assume one of you is Rook?”

“That’s me.”

“I am Livia. A pleasure.”

“Maevaris speaks highly of you.”

“I would hope so,” Livia said. “I designed the dress she wore when she was first presented to the Magisterium. She may have caused a scandal, but that didn’t stop the style from becoming fashionable.”

“That’s Tevinter for you,” Neve said.

“Indeed.” Livia looked Rook up and down. “So, what are you looking for?”

“Something formal, but not Magisterium formal,” Rook said. “Something I could wear to the theatre or for a nice dinner.” Livia nodded.

“And what kind of outfit are you looking for? A dress, a suit, a skirt and top, something else?”

“Not a dress,” Rook said. “Maybe a skirt and something more masculine on top?”

“Have you worn a skirt before?”

“Yes, but not for a long time.”

“Something easy to move in, then,” Livia said. “Let’s see. Ah. You.” She pointed at Lucanis who was examining a piece of cloth.

“Yes?”

“Stand here, please.” The tailor pointed to a spot in front of some mirrors. As Lucanis did as he was asked, she went into the back and returned carrying a large piece of cloth.

“Put this on,” Livia said. “Over your pants is fine, but under the vest.” Lucanis accepted the cloth, which turned out to be a skirt. Once it was on, Livia made a few adjustments.

“What about something like this?” she said. “I would suggest a different style of skirt and the vest would be tailored differently, but this is the general idea. It would work with both a skirt and pants for a more versatile ensemble.” Rook considered the outfit.

“Yeah,” they said. “I like the idea.”

“Excellent,” Livia said. “Let’s figure out what style of skirt you want, then I’ll do a quick sketch. You can take that off now.”

“Too bad,” Neve said. “You look great.”

“I know,” Lucanis said. “You think this is the first time I’ve worn a skirt?”

“Was it an assassination thing?” Bellara asked.

“Sometimes,” Lucanis said. “And sometimes I like wearing a skirt.”

“I have a few ideas,” Livia said, emerging from the back with a basket full of fabric. “They won’t fit perfectly, but you should get a general idea. If you need to stop for any reason, just let me know. We can take a short break or you can come back another day.” 

“Thanks,” Rook said. They tried on a number of skirts, some of which they dismissed as too fitted and some they didn’t like the look of. Eventually they tried on an ankle-length panelled skirt.

“With the more fitted vest, this would be a good contrast,” Livia said. “This one is a bit long for you, I would put it about here.” She adjusted the bottom so it fell mid-calf. Rook looked at themself in the mirror. It was strange having any kind of skirt on, but this one felt the least uncomfortable. They didn’t want to rip it off or hide, at the very least.

“Can I try it with a vest?” Rook asked.

“Of course.” Livia produced one and they pulled it on. “I would make the sleeves of the shirt a bit looser and of course the vest would be tailored to you.”

“Right.” Rook considered themself. “What do you think?”

“It looks good,” Harding said.

“It does,” Neve said. “How do you feel?”

“I like it,” Rook said. “Yeah. Like this.”

“Excellent,” Livia said. “If you give me a few minutes, I can do a sketch that would show you more precisely what I’m thinking. Why don’t you think about colour while I do so?” Rook nodded.

“You okay?” Neve asked as they joined their friends.

“Yeah,” Rook said. “It’s weird but not in a dysphoric way. More of a ‘I haven’t worn a skirt in forever’ way.”

“Livia said we should look at colour,” Harding said. “Do you have any ideas?” “Let’s take a look,” Rook said, moving over to the samples.

“Oh, this is an amazing colour,” Bellara said, pulling out a bright yellow piece of fabric.

“It would look great on you, Bel,” Neve said.

“You think?” Bellara held up the fabric.

“You look like a summer day,” Harding said.

“Aw, thanks,” Bellara said. “I guess it wouldn’t really work for Rook though.”

“Not so much,” Rook said.

“You could try to match your eyes,” Lucanis said. “That is a classic.”

“So… black?” Bellara said. “That’s kind of boring.”

“My eyes are green,” Rook said.

“What?” Bellara said. “No.”

“You need the right light,” Rook said. “And you have to be pretty close. But yeah. Really dark green.”

“Like this?” Neve suggested, pulling out a deep green piece.

“It would look nice,” Lucanis said. Rook considered.

“It’s a possibility,” they said. “What about purple?”

“A dark purple would look great with your skin,” Neve said. “It’ll be expensive though.”

“Let’s not worry about that right now,” Rook said, digging through the pile. They found a few different purples, ranging from a lilac to one that was almost black.

“Maybe you could do a lighter colour for your shirt and then darker for the vest?” Harding suggested.

“That’s a good idea.” Rook took the lilac fabric and began comparing it with some of the darker ones.

“I have the sketches,” Livia said. “If you have colours, I can fill it in.” Rook took the paper. There were two drawings, one of the vest and shirt with a pair of tight-fitting pants and the other with the panelled skirt.

“This is great,” they said.

“It’s going to look so good, Rook,” Bellara said.

“I see you’re interested in purple,” Livia said. “It will be expensive.”

“That’s okay,” Rook said. “Who knew fighting gods would be so profitable?”

“Plus room and board,” Neve said. “It’s a pretty good deal.”

“I’d hope so, considering the danger,” Harding said. “Hey, Rook, do we get hazard pay?”

“Everything we do is hazardous,” Rook said.

“Exactly!”

“I assume you were thinking of the lighter colour for your shirt,” Livia said, getting the discussion back on track.

“Oh, yeah,” Rook said. “And this richer one for the vest. I wasn’t sure about the skirt though.”

“I would suggest black,” Livia said, selecting a fabric. “It means that you can wear the skirt and pants with something else other than these tops.” She put all three together in an approximation of the outfit.

“Very nice,” Lucanis said approvingly.

“I think so too,” Bellara said.

“I trust my friends,” Rook said. “And you, Livia. Hard not to, with Maevaris’s outfits.”

“I made an outfit for the Inquisitor once too,” Livia said proudly. “Magister Pavus brought him in. They said he needed to ‘blend in with the locals.’”

“I imagine Dorian’s idea of blending in is quite different from the Inquisitor's,” Neve said.

“You would be right,” Livia said. “Now, I need to take your measurements. We’ll go in the back. Again, if at any point you are uncomfortable, tell me and I will stop immediately. Your comfort is the most important thing.”

“Thanks,” Rook said. “That means a lot.”

“There’s a reason I have a lot of gender diverse customers,” Livia said. “This way.” The process wasn’t uncomfortable at all, despite Rook’s fears. Livia knew exactly what she was doing.

“It will take around six weeks,” Livia said. “You’ll have to come in for a fitting, of course. Make sure you have the shoes you’ll wear with it at that time.”

“Right, shoes,” Rook said. “Everyone up for another stop?”

“Sure!” Harding said. “It’s fun to do something so low-stakes.”

“Low stakes for you, maybe,” Rook said as they left the store.

“Rook, are you really worried about what Emmrich thinks of your clothes?” Neve asked.

“He’s always so put together,” Rook said. “It’s not that I don’t think about my appearance, believe me, I do, but… I don’t know.”

“You’re overthinking things,” Lucanis said.

“Oh definitely,” Rook said. “But better to do that about clothes than everything else that’s going on.”

“I don’t think you need to worry,” Bellara said. “You’re going to look amazing in that outfit.”

“Thanks,” Rook said. “Okay, shoes. Absolutely no heels.”

“Boots,” Lucanis said. “Black. If you get knee-high, they’ll go well with the pants and the skirt.”

“I’ll trust the Antivan on this,” Rook said.

“Most elves I know don’t wear shoes at all,” Harding said. “I was kind of surprised you do.”

“My family’s human,” Rook said with a shrug. “Also, not wearing shoes in Minrathous seems like a bad idea.” Everyone looked at Bellara.

“What?” she said. “I haven’t had any problems.”

“Davrin wears shoes,” Neve pointed out.

“He is a Grey Warden,” Lucanis said. “I can’t imagine anyone fighting the Blight without boots.”

“The Inquisitor never wears shoes and it drives Dorian crazy,” Harding said. “They argued about it at camp all the time.”

“Do you think the outfit Livia designed for the Inquisitor had some?” Bellara asked.

“I bet that’s one of the things they argued about,” Rook said. “Okay Lucanis, you’re up.”

“If Treviso were in better shape, I’d take you there,” Lucanis said.

“We passed an Antivan cobbler on our way here,” Neve said. “I don’t know if he’ll be up to your standards, but we can at least look.”

“I know the place,” Lucanis said. “He’s a Crow contact. He also makes good boots.”

“Wait, the cobbler is a Crow?” Harding asked.

“No, he’s a contact,” Lucanis said. “He provides information, and is well paid for it.”

“I’ll have to add that to my notes,” Neve said.

“You didn’t hear it from me,” Lucanis said. The cobbler recognized Lucanis but seemed relieved that they were there for shoes. Rook left half an hour later with an order for a pair of black knee-high boots that should be ready in time for the fitting.

“Anything else?” Neve asked.

“Dinner?” Rook suggested. “I’m starving.”

“Me too,” Bellara said. “I didn’t think shopping would be so tiring.”

“There’s a decent place nearby,” Lucanis said.

“How come you know more about this area than Neve or Rook?” Harding asked.

“I spend most of my time in Docktown,” Neve said.

“And my neighbourhood was further west,” Rook said. “Minrathous is the biggest city in Thedas. It’s impossible to know all of it.”

“Here we are,” Lucanis said. The group had a lively meal, complete with a few more bottles of wine than was wise. They made it back to the Lighthouse mostly in one piece, although Bellara kept getting distracted by some of the ambient magic effects that were omnipresent in Minrathous and Harding stumbled a few times.

“Okay, remember that this is supposed to be a surprise,” Rook said when they were all in the eluvian hallway. “Please don’t tell Emmrich. Or Manfred, now that I think about it.”

“Got it,” Bellara said.

“But we can tell Davrin and Taash?” Harding asked.

“Sure,” Rook said. “As long as they also keep it a secret.” The other three members of the team were gathered in the library.

“There you are,” Davrin said. “We were about to go out looking.”

“We weren’t gone that long,” Rook said.

“No, but you didn’t give any indication of how long you expected to be away,” Emmrich said, sounding slightly disapproving.

“Aw, did I worry you?” Rook asked with a grin, linking their arm with his.

“No,” Emmrich said. Taash snorted.

“Yes.”

“We had wine with dinner,” Lucanis said. “Getting back to the eluvian took longer than usual. I thought I was going to have to carry Bellara.”

“I’m not that drunk,” Bellara said. “It was a fun day! Rook is going to look-”

“Okay Bel, time for bed,” Neve said, cutting her off. She took Bellara’s arm and gave Rook an apologetic look before guiding the elf out of the room. Taash picked up Harding who was looking a bit unsteady and followed them out. Lucanis suggested a nightcap to Davrin and they also left, leaving Rook and Emmrich alone.

“Are you all right, darling?”

“I’m fine,” Rook said, leaning into him for support. “Just a bit tipsy. How was the Necropolis?”

“Everything went smoothly,” Emmrich said. “We were able to deal with the disturbance without incident.”

“That’s good,” Rook said. “Were you really worried about me?”

“No,” Emmrich said. “Or at least I wasn’t until Davrin started going on about shops being fronts for the Venatori.” Rook laughed.

“I guess they have to get those robes somewhere,” they said. “No Venatori, but we did end up at a place that’s also a contact for the Crows.”

“Really?” Emmrich looked intrigued. “Lucanis’s doing, I assume.”

“Yep.” Rook yawned.

“Perhaps you should follow Bellara’s example, darling,” he said.

“Yeah,” they agreed. “Today was more tiring than I expected.” Emmrich steadied them and they began to make their way to Rook’s room.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, my dear,” Emmrich said. “Although I am rather unclear as to what you actually did.”

“We hung out,” Rook said. “Went to a different area of the city. Drank too much at dinner.”

“You’re being uncharacteristically vague,” Emmrich said. “But I assume you have your reasons, so I won’t pry.”

“It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

“I believe you,” Emmrich said, stopping outside Rook’s room. “Here you are. I’ll bring you something for your head in the morning.”

“You’re sweet,” Rook said. “How about a kiss goodnight?” Emmrich leaned down and kissed them gently.

“Goodnight, darling,” he said. “Sleep well.”

“See you tomorrow.” Emmrich smiled at them and left. Rook made it to their bed and fell asleep content.

Notes:

This (and the follow up, which will come later) is the first thing I wrote back when Veilguard came out. It's nice to have something low stakes for them given the rest of the game. The colours of Rook's outfit are obviously inspired by the favourite colour conversation you have with Emmrich during the dinner date, but I also made my Rook in the Sims and played around to figure out what looks good on them.

Here's a fun bit of trivia about how I'm writing: In Rook's POVs I use "themself" when talking about Rook but in Emmrich's I use "themselves." Both are grammatically correct (sorry Taash) and it's a fun little way to distinguish between their voices.

I posted more party banter over on Tumblr, this time it's the Bellara and Emmrich romance-related banter we were robbed of.

Chapter 10

Rook perused one of the shelves behind Emmrich’s desk, not looking for anything in particular but more interested in the books he kept close. He had his library upstairs, but what he kept on hand could tell them what he found important. As they browsed an open journal grabbed their attention. The left page had a drawing of a flower with notes on its colour, size, and scent while on the right was an incomplete sketch of Rook. Curious, they began to flip through. It started as mostly flowers and other plants along with a few pages of what they assumed was how Manfred fit together. Halfway through was the first sketch of Rook, sitting and reading a book. There were two other drawings, one of them looking up at something with a smile and the traditional portrait that first caught their eye.

“Are you looking for anything in particular?” Rook jumped, not having heard Emmrich approach.

“Oh, uh, no, not really.” They immediately felt guilty about their snooping. “Sorry.”

“For?” Emmrich looked down. “Oh.”

“It was open already,” Rook said. “I know I shouldn’t have looked through it, but, well…”

“It’s quite all right, darling,” he said. “Your curiosity is understandable.”

“I didn’t know you draw.”

“I wouldn’t call myself an artist,” Emmrich said. “Having a record of various plants is useful for my alchemy.”

“And me?”

“That’s… a recent development.” He seemed embarrassed.

“They’re good,” Rook said. “I like the one of me reading.”

“Thank you, darling, but they’re not,” he said. “People are much harder to draw than plants, especially without a reference.”

“Are you asking me to pose for you?” Rook asked. “I will, but I should warn you that I’m bad at it. I’ve only sat for one portrait and it was a frustrating experience for everyone involved.”

“What was the portrait?”

“My dad commissioned a family one when I was 13, right after he was promoted to Legatus,” Rook said. “If you think I’m bad at being still now…” Emmrich chuckled.

“I can see why that would be frustrating.”

“It got done eventually,” Rook said. “Actually, that painting is one of the things that made me start to question my gender. I hated the way I looked in it. A month or so after it was hung up I cut off my hair.”

“With a knife, as I recall.”

“You were paying attention.”

“It would be quite hypocritical of me to ask you to be more open and then not listen,” Emmrich said.

“Still, it’s nice.” Rook looked back down at the drawing. “Whatever you think about your artistic skills, I like these. How long have you been drawing?”

“I started a few years after I took up alchemy,” Emmrich said. “It’s useful in identifying plants and what effects they have when brewed. There are compendiums, of course, but they are either sparse on specifics or so detailed that the book is not practical for field work.”

“Ah, so they’re not up to your standards,” Rook said. “You should publish your own.”

“Until I joined the team I only had records of those native to Nevarra,” Emmrich said. “A true compendium should be more comprehensive.”

“You just said that the compendiums that are comprehensive aren’t good for field work,” Rook pointed out.

“Perhaps once I’m retired,” Emmrich said. “With work and Manfred I don’t have the time to create something worthy of publication.”

“This is all pretty practical,” Rook said, indicating his notes. “But I’m guessing you know a bit about the meanings as well.”

“You’re referring to the language of flowers,” he said. “It is a subject with which I’m acquainted.”

“That’s in a different notebook?”

“There has been more than enough written on that subject,” Emmrich said. “My personal favourite compendium is upstairs, if you’d like to borrow it.”

“You’re assuming I don’t already know about it.”

“Do you?” Rook laughed at his surprise.

“The purple pansies you gave me means that I occupy your thoughts. I would give you a jonquil if they weren’t out of season.”

“Desire and returned affection.” The look of enchantment on Emmrich’s face took Rook’s breath away. He was always looking at them and each time it was as if they were the most amazing thing he’d ever seen. From anyone else, that intensity would make Rook uncomfortable, but with Emmrich it was the best thing in the world.

“Mm hm.” They flipped back to the drawing of them reading. “This is my favourite.”

“Mine as well, although it does not do justice to the moment I was attempting to capture.”

“Which was?”

“The realization that my feelings for you are more than friendship.”

“Which happened while I was reading?”

“You were in the library. I don’t know what the book was, but you were very focused. Something about it was entrancing. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. When you noticed my presence, you smiled and said you’d bought me a pineapple.” 

“You realized that you have feelings for me because I was enjoying a book and bought you fruit?” Rook asked, laughing.

“It is the mundane moments that are most telling,” Emmrich said. “To be delighted by something so simple is often the first indication of romantic interest, at least in my experience.”

“Is it bad if I say I don’t remember it?” Rook asked. Emmrich chuckled.

“Not at all, darling. It was an entirely inconsequential interaction.”

“Not for you.”

“No.” Emmrich looked down at the drawing. “That evening, while eating the pineapple in question, I sketched this. I was attempting to capture the way you looked in that moment. I didn’t succeed, but it brings me back nonetheless.”

“That’s… incredibly sweet,” Rook said. Maker, he was adorable. How he ever developed feelings for them in the first place was a mystery, but they were not going to complain.

“And you?” Emmrich asked. “Was there a particular moment when you became cognizant of your feelings for me?”

“It was Blackthorne Manor,” Rook said. “When you freed those spirits and it hurt you… that upset me. I mean, I don’t like it when the others get hurt, but this was different.”

“I suspected it was something to do with that,” Emmrich said. “You stopped flirting with anyone else around that time.”

“As far as you know,” Rook said with a smirk. “We’re not together all the time.”

“Are you implying that you’re still flirting with other people?” Emmrich seemed genuinely curious and not overly upset at the idea, which was interesting.

“Implying? Yes. Am I? No.”

“I see.” Emmrich put the notebook down on his desk and stepped closer. “You were testing my reaction to the notion of you flirting with someone else.”

“You don’t strike me as an overly jealous person, but I’ve been surprised before.”

“I try not to be, although I certainly don’t enjoy the idea of you flirting with someone else.” He placed a finger under Rook’s chin and tilted it up. “I would much rather claim the entirety of your attention.”

“You certainly do that,” they murmured. “People keep commenting on it.”

“Then I need not seek out yellow hyacinths.”

“Never.” Emmrich smiled and lowered his mouth to theirs. Two days later, he found purple lilacs on his desk.

Notes:

I don't know why/how this idea came to be but Emmrich sketching plants makes a lot of sense to me. He's better than he thinks he is too.

I bought a book on the language of flowers specifically so I could have Rook and Emmrich give each other coded messages. Yellow hyacinths are jealously and purple lilacs are first emotions of love (and Emmrich's favourite colour, of course).

I might start posting more than once a week so I can get to my post-canon ideas. I was recently struck by a fun idea for a political intrigue story involving both Tevinter and Nevarran politics but I need to finish this first.

Chapter 11

“Hey.” Emmrich looked up from his desk as Rook entered his room, brightening it with their presence.

“Good morning, darling,” he said, smiling. “How are you today?”

“I’m good,” they said. “Are you busy? I have some questions about the southern Chantry.”

“I’m assisting Taash with something this morning,” Emmrich said, not entirely lying. “I would be happy to discuss it with you later.” Even before their romantic relationship, he enjoyed discussions with Rook. They always asked interesting questions and it allowed him to learn more about Tevinter in return.

“Sounds good,” Rook said. “I’m glad you and Taash are getting along.”

“Your mediation was most helpful.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” they said. “Killing gods and solving interpersonal conflicts.”

“Both of which you excel at, darling.”

“We haven’t actually killed any gods yet,” Rook pointed out.

“I have the utmost faith in you.” Their smile never failed to produce butterflies in Emmrich’s stomach.

“Thanks.” Rook kissed him. “Have fun with Taash.” Emmrich smiled as they left. He was indescribably happy with Rook, although they did tend to leave him somewhat distracted.

“Hey.” Taash stuck their head in the room. “You ready?”

“Certainly.” Emmrich stood and the pair made their way through the Crossroads. “I do appreciate you keeping these excursions to yourself, Taash.” Ever since Rook explicitly told him about their gender, he worked to educate himself. He read quite a bit and talked with Maevaris Tilani on a couple of occasions. Now that they were actually in a relationship, it was even more important.

“Sure,” Taash said. “I still don’t get why you haven’t told Rook. They’d be happy.”

“Because I’m not doing this for some sort of credit,” Emmrich said. “I’m doing it so I can be a supportive partner. Discussing their gender as a means of supporting you is different from educating me. I can’t ask that of them.”

“‘Kay.” They stepped into the Pawn Shop. “I still think they’d like it.”

“I’ll consider it.”

“Taash, Emmrich.” Maevaris smiled as she greeted them. “Welcome back.”

“Hey,” Taash said. “You said you had someone you wanted me to meet?”

“The timing worked out for both of you,” Maevaris said. “There’s a non-binary Shadow who just got back to the city. I thought it would be good for you to have a perspective other than Rook’s.”

“Sure.”

“As for you, Emmrich.” Maevaris turned to him. “The person I was hoping would talk to you finally got around to doing what he was supposed to.”

“It’s not my fault,” Dorian Pavus said, joining the group.

“Is it ever?” Maevaris asked dryly. “Come on, Taash.” She led them away, leaving Emmrich and Dorian alone. They’d known each other for quite some time. Dorian’s father had sent the young mage to the Necropolis for a semester and Emmrich had been one of his teachers. Dorian had been an interesting student. In some ways he and Rook were similar, although Rook at least listened when Emmrich was talking.

“I’m not who you were expecting,” Dorian said. 

“No,” Emmrich said. “I’m surprised Maevaris didn’t mention she was thinking of you.”

“It’s complicated,” Dorian said. “Why don’t we go somewhere a bit more private?” They went downstairs to what seemed to be a storage room with a table and two chairs in.

“I apologize for the accommodations,” Dorian said. “But this isn’t something that I can discuss openly.”

“That’s quite alright,” Emmrich said. “Although this is all a bit mysterious.” Dorian laughed.

“I suppose it is.” They took their seats. “The reason that Mae asked me to talk to you is that we are in a similar situation and she thought that I would be better able to answer your questions.”

“We are?” Emmrich was surprised. As far as he knew, Dorian was single, something that was unusual given his status.

“Yes,” Dorian said. “My husband, Sulahn — the Inquisitor — is transgender. He’s quite private about it. Understandable, given his situation. Navigating being the Herald of Andraste and the Inquisitor as a Dalish elf is difficult enough without adding gender into it. It’s also why this meeting took so long to set up. I had to ask his permission to share and given everything that he’s dealing with down South, there never seemed to be a good time.” Emmrich was completely taken aback.

“I had no idea you and the Inquisitor were in a relationship, let alone married.”

“It’s not widely known,” Dorian said. “It wouldn’t go over well here, as you might imagine. Normally I wouldn’t care about my reputation, but given everything Maevaris has done to keep me in the Magisterium, we decided it was best to keep it a secret.”

“That must be difficult.”

“We make do,” Dorian said. “The eluvians make it easier.”

“I can certainly see why Maevaris thought we should talk,” Emmrich said.

“Yes, although I will give the caveat of everyone being different,” Dorian said. “I can certainly share some of my own experiences with you, but Sulahn and Rook are not the same person.”

“Of course,” Emmrich said. “I’m not looking for advice on Rook, precisely.”

“You want to be a good partner,” Dorian said. “I understand. Hopefully I can at the very least stop you from making the same mistakes I did.”

“I certainly appreciate any advice you can give.”

“You’re already well ahead of me in terms of educating yourself,” Dorian said. “I’ve known Maevaris forever, so I wasn’t completely ignorant when Sulahn came out to me, but it did give me an unearned confidence in my own knowledge.”

“Because you thought they were the same?” Emmrich suggested.

“Yes,” Dorian said. “Or at least that their experiences would be similar. In retrospect, it’s unsurprising that an Altus mage and a Dalish elf would have vastly different experiences. I’d prefer not to go into the exact details, but suffice to say I made a few missteps. Fortunately for me, Sulahn is generous with his forgiveness. It’s a trait that can be troublesome when it comes to, say, the elven god of lies, but useful when I make an ass of myself.”

“So far Rook has seemed appreciative of my questions, but I do worry,” Emmrich said. “I can’t seem to decide if I’m doing too much or not enough.”

“I understand,” Dorian said. “The biggest piece of advice I have is to listen and respect what they say. More so than in other relationships, you have to show that they can trust you, that you’ll actually listen when they talk about their gender and what it means to them, and more importantly that you’ll follow through. I may not know Rook’s specific experiences, but I would bet good coin that they’ve encountered people, including romantic partners, who think they know better than Rook themselves. Most trans people I know have at least one story like that.” Trust. Rook’s admission that they didn’t fully trust Emmrich stung, but if there was someone in their past who treated them poorly, it would help to explain it.

“It feels like such a low bar to clear.”

“Sad, isn’t it?” Dorian said. “The fact that you’re asking these questions at all is good. I think you’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” Emmrich said. “Rook has enough on their shoulders.”

“I do have more general advice,” Dorian said. “Nothing to do with gender, but rather the kind of people our partners are.”

“By all means.”

“Being in a relationship with someone like Sulahn or Rook can be challenging,” Dorian said. “When you’re in the middle of it all, like you are now, it’s easy to think that it’s temporary, that things will settle down once you achieve your goal. After the gods are dead and Solas is dealt with, you can have a normal relationship. Unfortunately, that is rarely the case. The whirlwind that surrounds them may abate, but it never fully dissipates. Even Leliana gets caught up in the orbit of the Hero of Ferelden, and she’s the Divine. The Champion got caught up with the Inquisition and now Sulahn is caught up with the current mess. Five or ten years from now, something will happen and Rook will end up caught up with whatever it is. The hardest part is that they don’t know it themselves. Sulahn honestly thought that things would be easier for us after Corypheus was defeated, and then after the Inquisition was dissolved, and then after Solas, and now it’s after the gods are defeated, as if he’s not going to be incredibly involved with rebuilding the South. I love him dearly and wouldn’t trade our relationship for anything, but it’s not always easy.”

“I appreciate your candor,” Emmrich said. “While I have given some thought to the future, given our opponents…”

“There is always that worry,” Dorian said. “But people like Rook and Sulahn are very good at getting out of impossible situations. As for the whirlwind, I thought you should know what you’re getting into.”

“I appreciate it,” Emmrich said. “You’ve certainly given me a lot to think about.”

“Have you ever been in a relationship with someone from Tevinter before?”

“No.”

“Then one more piece of advice,” Dorian said. “We Tevinters are a passionate people. We care a great deal, about everything. We have no reserves, not in war, not in magic, and certainly not in love. It’s one of the reasons the Imperium is the way it is. We feel our emotions — all of them — deeply. Joy, anger, love, sadness, hope, guilt… we get caught up in them all. I don’t know Rook very well personally, but I can see it in them. They care deeply, for Minrathous, for Tevinter, for the people of Thedas… and now for you. Something to keep in mind, as your relationship progresses.”

“I will.”

“It’s a bit strange to be giving you advice,” Dorian said. Emmrich chuckled.

“The transition from student to peer is often challenging.”

“I enjoyed my time in Nevarra,” Dorian said wistfully. “It was a simpler time. Sometimes it feels like the world became more complicated after the Fifth Blight.”

“The world has always been complicated,” Emmrich said. “But I do understand what you mean. It seems as if things have escalated in the past 20 years.”

“Exactly.” Dorian sat back. “If nothing else, the age is aptly named. It’s strange to think that dragons were considered extinct only half an age ago. They’ve certainly bounced back well enough.”

“Rook wants to take me on one of Taash’s dragon hunts, evidently because of Nevarra’s reputation.”

“A mortalitasi and a dragon hunter? They’ll make you king if you’re not careful.”

“There are worse fates, although not many,” Emmrich said. “What of your own ruler? The rumours are that the Archon is dead.”

“You’ve been reading the papers,” Dorian said. “We don’t know. Considering we haven’t heard anything from the Palace, however, I wouldn’t be surprised if he is.”

“Does he have an heir?”

“A nephew, but if he’s smart he’ll want nothing to do with the throne. No, I suspect there will be an entirely new Archon before too long.”

“You?” Dorian laughed.

“Wouldn’t that be something? If my marriage wasn’t a scandal already, it certainly would be. The Archon and the Inquisitor? It’s almost as good as the Divine marrying the Hero of Ferelden.”

“Almost?”

“You’re right, it’s better.” Emmrich laughed.

“Thank you, Dorian. This has been very helpful, in more ways than I expected.”

“You’re quite welcome,” Dorian said. “I hope I didn’t put you off. Despite my warning, there is something quite extraordinary in being caught up in it all.”

“Not at all,” Emmrich said. “I certainly wasn’t expecting anything like this when I agreed to help Rook. It’s been a welcome surprise, and quite the whirlwind, as you said, but I’m happy.”

“Good,” Dorian said. “I’m sure Rook appreciates having someone as well. Ah, I’m sure I don’t have to ask, but just to be sure, please don’t tell anyone about Sulahn and I, or about his gender.”

“Of course,” Emmrich said as they left the room. “I assume Maevaris told you that I haven’t informed Rook of what I’m doing?”

“She did,” Dorian said. “I understand your reasoning.”

“At least someone does,” Emmrich said as they reached the main floor. “Taash keeps- Manfred?” The skeleton turned and hissed happily.

“Hello there,” Dorian said. “I didn’t realize you brought him with you today.”

“I didn’t,” Emmrich said. “Manfred, what are you doing here?” Manfred hissed and gestured at the room.

“You’re done?” Maevaris asked.

“Dorian was very helpful,” Emmrich said. “Maevaris, do you know how Manfred got here?”

“Rook brought him,” Maevaris said. “They’re in the other room.”

“Emmrich?” Rook walked in, clearly surprised. “What are you doing here? I thought you were helping Taash.” Maevaris and Dorian exchanged a glance.

“I did,” Emmrich said. “Then they said they were coming here and I thought it would be a good opportunity to see Dorian.” 

“It’s been quite a while since we were able to catch up,” Dorian said.

“Right, you two know each other,” Rook said. “So Taash is here too?”

“They’re downstairs,” Maevaris said. “I can get them, if you want.”

“No, it’s fine.” Rook gave Emmrich a look that said that they didn’t entirely believe his story.

“I should go,” Dorian said. “Off to play the good magister, as always.”

“Thank you again for the conversation,” Emmrich said.

“Of course. I’ll see you later, Maevaris. Rook.” Dorian inclined his head and left the Shop.

“I’ll check on Taash,” Maevaris said, also making an exit.

“Did you really come here just to talk to Dorian?” Rook asked.

“Yes,” Emmrich said, omitting the fact that he hadn’t known he’d be talking to Dorian when he arrived.

“Okay.” Their tone was still somewhat skeptical, but they didn’t push. “I bet you were surprised to see Manfred, huh?” The skeleton hissed.

“I was,” Emmrich confirmed. “Why did you bring him here?”

“We’re bonding,” Rook said. “He wanted to know more about the Shadow Dragons so we took a field trip.” Manfred gestured with enthusiasm.

“And what do the other Shadow Dragons think?”

“They’ve been great,” Rook said. “Well, Tarquin’s a bit unsure but Ashur and the others like him.” Manfred hissed his agreement, then pointed at the door that led out into the Pawn Shop.

“You want to go into the city?” Rook asked. They both turned to look at Emmrich.

“Not today, Manfred,” he said. “We’ll go another time, once I’ve determined an itinerary.” Manfred’s hiss was disappointed but he was quickly distracted by two children who ran up.

“I didn’t know there were children here,” Emmrich said.

“They were enslaved,” Rook said. “Their previous owner decided that having children around was too much trouble, so he sent them to the market here. They were about to be sent to Vyrantium when we freed them. We’re trying to find their parents and help them escape too, but for now they have nowhere else to go.” The emotion in Rook’s voice was palpable; anger mixed with sadness. Emmrich hadn’t found the words for it before the conversation with Dorian, but he could see exactly what his former pupil meant. Rook felt deeply, something with which he could relate.

“That’s terrible.”

“It’s all too common.” Now they sounded tired. “It feels unending sometimes, like nothing we do actually makes a difference. The magister isn’t going to change just because we freed these children.”

“But you bettered their lives,” Emmrich said. “Those children are free because of what the Shadow Dragons did.”

“Exactly.” Rook turned to him. “I hope it’s okay that I brought Manfred here without asking.”

“I am glad the two of you are getting along,” Emmrich said. “I’m simply unused to someone other than myself accompanying him out.”

“I wouldn't have taken him into the city without you,” Rook said. “An animated skeleton isn’t that weird for Minrathous, but he’d probably get scammed. Or someone would try to kidnap him.”

“Really?”

“I’m sure some magister somewhere would pay a lot for a skeleton servant,” Rook said. “If you’re with him, people will assume he’s yours. If it was just me and Manfred? They’d probably think I stole him.”

“Why would anyone think that?”

“Emmrich.” Rook sighed, sounding both amused and exasperated. “I’m going to let you think about that one.” Before he could respond, Taash and Maevaris came up the stairs.

“Hey Rook.”

“Hi Taash,” Rook said. “How’s it going?”

“Good. I talked with another non-binary Shadow. They’re different from you.”

“Of course,” Rook said. “Everyone’s-”

“Gender is different,” Taash said. “They said that too.”

“That’s because it’s important,” Maevaris said.

“I know.”

“I’m glad you talked to them,” Rook said. “Getting different perspectives is good.”

“Yeah.”

“You will always be welcome here, Taash,” Maevaris said. “And Rook, if you ever need to talk…”

“Thanks Maevaris.” Rook looked around. “Everyone ready to go?”

“Certainly,” Emmrich said.

“Yep,” Taash agreed.

“I’ll go get Manfred.” Rook went to collect the skeleton.

“So does Rook know now?” Taash asked.

“No,” Emmrich said. “I told them I was here to see Dorian.”

“‘Kay.” Taash glanced in the direction Rook went, then back to Emmrich. “Are you two okay?”

“Yes, of course,” Emmrich said. “Why?”

“Rook smells upset,” Taash said. “I thought maybe you argued or something.”

“They do?” Emmrich looked over at his partner, who was talking with Manfred and the children.

“Maybe they know you’re lying,” Taash said.

“I’m not-” Emmrich sighed. “You’re right, Taash. I should tell them what I’m doing.”

“Yep.” Rook returned with Manfred in tow and the group returned to the Lighthouse. Rook was immediately drawn into a conversation with Davrin about the missing griffons so Emmrich returned to his room and busied himself with his investigation into Johanna. A few hours later, Rook entered the room.

“Oh, darling, good,” Emmrich said, looking up from his desk. “If you have time, I need to talk to you.”

“I always have time for you, Emmrich,” they said with a smile. They certainly didn’t seem upset, but Taash was sensitive to these things. Emmrich stood and moved so he and Rook were face-to-face.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

“Earlier?” Rook asked.

“When we were at the Shop. Taash said you smelled upset.”

“Oh.” Rook seemed genuinely surprised. “I’m not upset, Emmrich. I realized that we need to talk about me being an elf, that’s all.” He stared at them for a moment. That was not what he was expecting, but now that they mentioned it… this is what they meant when they were talking about being out with Manfred.

“Yes,” he said, regaining his composure. “I spoke thoughtlessly. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Rook said. “Or it’s understandable, at least. Most humans don’t think about something like that.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“No, it’s not.” They leaned on his desk. “I really like you, Emmrich, but you’re a bit… sheltered.”

“That’s-” Emmrich stopped himself. Getting defensive wasn’t going to help.

“It’s not surprising,” Rook said. “You’ve lived in the Necropolis almost your whole life and, well...”

“I’m human?” They gave him an apologetic shrug. “You’re right, darling. I rarely, if ever, have to consider how my race impacts the way I move through the world. Beyond that, the Mourn Watch doesn’t discriminate in that way. We have people of all races in our ranks. Few Qunari, admittedly, but that’s more a factor of Nevarra’s demographics than anything else.”

“Mm.” Rook didn’t comment, clearly waiting for something more.

“...But I suppose I’m not someone you need to hear that from,” Emmrich added after a moment.

“No offense.”

“None taken.” Rook tapped a finger on the edge of the desk. 

“Even if that’s true about the Watchers… How many elves are buried in the Necropolis?”

“I… have no idea,” Emmrich admitted.

“To be clear, I don’t want my race to become a thing in our relationship,” Rook said. “One of the things I like about you is that you don’t think of me that way. You see me, not my race or gender or lack of magical ability. Just… Rook. That’s really nice, but unfortunately that’s not how most of the world sees me. I need you to be aware of that.” Realization hit Emmrich suddenly.

“This is why you don’t trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Rook protested. “But… yeah. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t think you’d understand my hesitations.”

“Another being your gender?” Emmrich suggested.

“It’s all of it,” Rook said. “We are very different in a lot of ways. I’ve had partners who couldn’t understand that their experiences weren’t universal. They couldn’t — or wouldn’t — believe me when I tried to explain my own. I wasn’t sure if you were one of them.”

“Rook, I-”

“Let me finish?” Emmrich nodded. “I know I hurt you when I said I didn’t fully trust you. I’m sorry. That was never my intention. You caught me off guard and I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling without getting into all of this. I meant it when I said that you have done nothing wrong. You are amazing. You’re patient and the questions you ask are so thoughtful. Even now, you didn’t get defensive when I said that you’re sheltered. I feel safe with you, Emmrich, and that’s not something I say a lot, especially not after a month of a relationship.” It took Emmrich a minute to compose himself.

“Thank you, Rook,” he said. “I cannot express how much that means to me. I am only sorry that I did not realize the reasoning behind your apprehension sooner.”

“It’s fine,” Rook said. “Like I said, I really like that you think of me as me.” They let out a breath. “I think that’s more than enough heavy talk for one day.”

“I agree.” After all of that, telling them about his real reason for visiting the Shop felt inappropriate. He would save it for another day. Rook hopped up so they were fully sitting on the desk.

“We should do something fun.”

“Such as?” Emmrich asked, approaching the desk.

“You did say you’d answer my questions about the Chantry,” Rook said, putting their arms around his neck.

“That’s true,” Emmrich said. “And I am happy to do so.” He was endlessly fascinated by Rook’s eyes. In most situations they appeared to be dark brown, almost black, but in the right light or through proximity, they were revealed instead to be dark green.

“Hmmmmm…” One of Rook’s hands was caressing the back of Emmrich’s neck and it was very distracting. “You know, for some reason I can’t remember any of my questions.”

“That’s fortunate,” he replied, placing a hand on Rook’s waist. “Because I can’t seem to recall anything about it either.”

“I guess I’ll have to remain ignorant for a little longer,” they said. “Is there something else we could do, or are you just going to stare at me?”

“My dear, I would happily spend an eternity looking at you,” Emmrich said, putting his other hand on their cheek. “I would memorize each freckle until I could draw your face entirely from memory.”

“That is incredibly sweet,” Rook said. “But if you don’t kiss me I am going to be very unhappy.” Emmrich smiled and drew their mouth to his.

“As you wish, darling.”

Notes:

There's a lot going on here, so let's take it one thing at a time.

It is extremely funny to me that when you first meet Dorian in the game, he talks about Maevaris protecting him and keeping his reputation clean, because when you meet the Inquisitor he tells Rook that the Tevinter hates him because of the Venatori, like you are married??? Rook ends up choosing Maevaris as Archon but the idea of Archon Dorian being married to the Inquisitor is so good.

The conversation between Emmrich and Dorian came to me while I was playing Inquisition and asking Dorian about Tevinter. The line about Tevinters having "no reserves" is pretty much exactly what he tells the Inquisitor and I realized that was Rook. Emmrich also tells Harding that he "found company with the ladies and gentleman" of [his] circles," implying he hasn't had a non-binary partner. We all know Emmrich would absolutely learn as much as possible while not putting the burden of education on Rook because he's the best. I also wanted more Dorian/Emmrich interaction.

Emmrich just started feeling okay about his gender knowledge and now he has to go find the Thedas equivalent of How to Be an Anti-Racist. Good thing he likes learning new things!

The thing about Emmrich seeing Rook as Rook is partly from Bellara constantly assuming that Rook knows elf stuff. When you first learn about Anaris, all of the dialogue choices lead to her being like "you know, from the nursery rhymes?" and I think Rook is like "um I was raised by humans so... no?" (Rook is extremely not an "elfy" elf. They and Sera would get along great, at least until Sera was mean to Manfred). This made me realize that in quite a few of their friendships there's one part of their identity that is foreground more than the others (Shadow Dragon with Neve, non-binary, with Taash, elf with Bellara). There's nothing wrong with that but it is so nice to have someone with whom you can just be yourself.

Chapter 12

“Could Manfred ever learn to talk?” Rook asked. They were sitting in Emmrich’s armchair while he worked on whatever it was he was researching. Something to do with the Lighthouse. He’d explained it once, but as with most of the technical stuff he talked about, Rook only understood about a third. They were ostensibly here to read, but really they liked watching him work. He tended to talk to himself, which was adorable, and the look he had when focused was very attractive.

“Hm?” Emmrich looked up from his papers. “I’m sorry darling, could you repeat yourself?”

“Could Manfred learn to talk?” Emmrich put down his pen and sat back.

“It is possible, in theory,” he said. “Wisps can’t, but as he learns and explores more of the world, he has the potential to become a more complex spirit. It’s not unheard of. I imagine it will take quite some time, if it happens.”

“I wonder what he’ll have to say.”

“No doubt he’ll ask a lot of questions,” Emmrich said. “He is curiosity, after all.”

“It would be nice,” Rook said. “I can sort of understand him sometimes, but talking would be easier.”

“I think you do quite well, darling,” he said. “Especially since you’re not a mage.”

“I try,” they said. “Sorry to interrupt your work.”

“Oh, not at all,” Emmrich said. “I think I’m done for the evening. I can only stare at these readings for so long and as much as I enjoyed camping with Lace, it was quite tiring.” He and Harding returned from their trip the day before. Despite their disagreement on what “camping” meant, it seemed like it went well.

“I’m glad you had a good time,” Rook said as Emmrich walked them to their room. It was cute that he felt the need to escort them, especially since they were next door.

“I don’t understand why people are so disdainful of Ferelden,” Emmrich said. “Not only has it produced some of the most important figures in the history of Thedas, it’s quite beautiful.”

“And cold, from what I’ve heard,” they said. “If I visit, I’m going in the summer.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Dorian claims otherwise.” They reached the door to Rook’s room.

“While I did enjoy the time with Lace, I missed you a great deal,” Emmrich said. “I’m glad to be back.”

“I missed you too,” Rook said. “Do you want to have sex?” They weren’t entirely sure why they hadn’t yet. They came close a few times but something always seemed to interrupt them. Rook was tired of almost and decided while Emmrich was away that the best way to approach it was directly. Emmrich was speechless for a moment, just like he was when Rook first started flirting with him. It was cute when his brain stopped working like that.

“Well, I-” He cleared his throat. “Yes.”

“Great.” Rook grabbed his vest and kissed him, hard. They drew him into their room, stumbling slightly as they hit the edge of the door frame. Emmrich’s hands were at their waist, undoing their sash. On their part, Rook was torn between wanting to continue kissing their partner and taking his clothes off. That particular dilemma was solved when Emmrich broke off the kiss. Rook took the opportunity to remove his vest, but he stopped them as they began to unbutton his shirt.

“Is something wrong?”

“I don’t wish to be insensitive darling, but do we need to be concerned about pregnancy?”

“That’s not insensitive,” Rook said. “And no. I mean, it’s technically possible but I’m taking way too many potions for it to be an actual concern.”

“All right.” Rook finished unbuttoning his shirt and dropped it onto the back of the chaise. Emmrich slid their shirt off and the brush of his hands against their skin raised a question.

“Are you going to keep all your rings on?” Emmrich looked down at his hands.

“Ah.” He began to remove his jewelry, placing everything carefully on one of the small tables. Rook sat on the chaise and began to remove their boots. They got one off but before they could start on the second, Emmrich was kneeling in front of them. He undid the straps deliberately, taking his time in a way that Rook found both endearing and frustrating. Once the boot was off, he straightened, still kneeling, so that they were face-to-face. His usually immaculate hair was flopping forward into his eyes. Rook pushed a piece aside and kissed him. He followed them up onto the chaise as Rook lay down and surrendered themself completely to his touch.

---

Rook woke slowly, drifting up through the layers of sleep. It was a pleasant feeling, one they hadn’t experienced in quite a long time. Lately they woke suddenly, almost violently, from nightmares or at the end of conversations with Solas. This was the opposite of that. The feeling of contentment didn’t last long once they realized they were alone. They opened their eyes, anxiety rising. Were they too direct? Had Emmrich felt pressured and was now regretting it? Was everything ruined? Rook sat up and groaned. Hopefully they hadn’t screwed things up too badly. Emmrich was different and the idea of losing him filled them with dread.

Their mental spiral was interrupted by the note and plate of food that were placed carefully on the table next to the chaise.

 

Darling,

I apologize for leaving you alone. I woke early and it seems like it will be quite a while before you join me. I would like nothing more to remain with you until then, but I promised Bellara I would assist with one of her lines of inquiry regarding the Lighthouse. I hope breakfast makes up even a little for my absence. Please find me when you wake so that I may make it up to you further.

I am yours,

Emmrich

 

Rook smiled at the note. Emmrich was definitely the most considerate partner they’d had. They ate as they dressed, finding their clothes folded neatly on top of the dresser. Despite the previous night, the room seemed more orderly than before. The image of Emmrich tidying up was adorable and something Rook was sorry to have missed. They took the now-empty plate to the dining hall, humming to themself.

“So, you’re finally awake,” Lucanis said as they entered.

“What do you mean ‘finally?’” Rook asked, rinsing off the plate.

“It’s almost noon,” Neve said.

“What?” The sky never changed in the Lighthouse so telling time was tricky. “No.”

“It is,” Lucanis confirmed. “We weren’t sure you were ever going to wake up.”

“Very funny,” Rook said, putting the plate away. “You could have woken me.”

“You need the sleep,” Neve said.

“Right, because you two are both great at getting a full night’s sleep,” Rook said.

“That’s why we didn’t wake you,” Lucanis said. “We know what it’s like.”

“I guess we’d better get to Treviso,” Rook said, resigning themself to not seeing Emmrich for a bit. “Are you ready?”

“Of course,” Lucanis said. “We’ll meet you at the eluvian.” The three of them met with the Crows and discovered the reasoning behind the Antaam’s sudden interest in art. It was hard seeing the devastation the Blight caused and knowing they could have prevented it, but Rook didn’t regret their choice. Minrathous was their city. They would protect it to the end.

“Emmrich seemed tired this morning,” Neve remarked as they made their way through the Crossroads back to the Lighthouse.

“He did just get back from camping,” Rook said.

“True,” Neve said. “But he seemed more tired today than he did yesterday.”

“I noticed that as well,” Lucanis said. “He also made up a plate at breakfast and then left.”

“Almost the exact opposite of you,” Neve said. “You slept in for the first time since I’ve known you and then showed up with an empty plate. Quite a coincidence.”

“Sometimes coincidences are just coincidences,” Rook said.

“Sometimes,” Lucanis said. “But not always.”

“Fine,” Rook said, giving up. “We spent the night together. Happy?”

“Not as happy as you,” Neve said. “And he brought you breakfast. That’s sweet.”

“You could have just asked,” Rook grumbled.

“This was more fun,” Lucanis said. “Besides, why ask a question that we already know the answer to?”

“I can’t believe that I take the time to help everyone with their personal stuff and all I get in return is teasing about my personal life.”

“Only because we care,” Neve said. “You two are cute.”

“And given everything going on, you deserve whatever happiness you can get,” Lucanis said as they reached the Lighthouse eluvian.

“Thanks,” Rook said. “You’re not going to stop teasing us about it though, are you?”

“Definitely not,” Neve said.

“You make it so easy,” Lucanis said. “Emmrich especially. For someone so put-together, he gets flustered surprisingly easily.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” Rook said with a smirk as they stepped through the mirror.

“I bet you are,” Neve said. “Don’t let yourself get too distracted. We still have gods to kill.”

“I know,” Rook said. “I’ll be fine.” Taash and Harding were in the library as the group arrived.

“How was Treviso?” Harding asked.

“Getting better, little by little,” Lucanis said. “Rook, I appreciate you going out of your way to help.”

“Of course,” Rook said. “Let me know if something else comes up.” Neve and Lucanis left and Rook started for their room to change out of their armour.

“So you and Emmrich finally did it,” Taash said. “Nice.”

“It’s really not possible to keep a secret around here,” Rook said. “Does everyone know?”

“Yep.”

“It’s really obvious,” Harding added.

“Is it?” Rook asked.

“You smell like each other,” Taash said. “You did before but today it’s more.”

“And he’s really distracted,” Harding said. “I went to see him and he didn’t respond even after I said his name twice. When I touched his arm, he jumped.”

“I really smell like him?” Rook asked, strangely pleased by the idea.

“Yep,” Taash said. “Was it good?”

“Taash,” Harding protested. “You can’t just ask that!”

“Why not?”

“It’s private.”

“I don’t want details,” Taash said. “Just if it was good. Rook works hard. They deserve good stuff.”

“It was great,” Rook said. “Emmrich is very thorough.”

“Nice,” Taash said approvingly.

“I did not need to know that,” Harding said.

“Sorry Harding,” Rook said. “I’m going to get out of my armour. See you later.” They went to their room and changed into their usual outfit before finally heading to Emmrich’s room.

“I really appreciate this, Professor,” Bellara said. “You’ve been so helpful with everything.”

“Of course,” Emmrich said. “It’s a pleasure to work with someone who is so interested in…” He trailed off as Rook entered.

“Professor?” Bellara glanced over her shoulder. “Oh! Um, I’ll take this book and let you know what questions I have.”

“Hm?” Emmrich’s attention returned to Bellara. “Ah. Yes. I look forward to hearing what you think.” Bellara left, giggling as she passed Rook.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Rook said, walking over to their partner.

“We were at the end of our conversation,” Emmrich said. “I’m not sure how much help I was. I’m quite tired today and my thoughts are scattered.”

“Just because you’re tired?”

“There may be other things on my mind,” he said. “I’m sorry for leaving this morning, darling, but given how long you slept I think it was the right decision.”

“It was certainly the nicest way I’ve ever woken up alone,” Rook said. “I can’t remember the last time I slept that well.”
“If I knew this is what it would take for you to have a full night’s sleep, I would have suggested it much earlier.”

“Just don’t try it with anyone else,” Rook said, sitting on the desk.

“Of course not, my dear,” Emmrich said. “I do hope you enjoyed yourself. It’s been quite some time since I was with anyone and longer since it was someone with your physiology.”

“It was great,” Rook said. “You weren’t kidding about knowing your anatomy.”

“Every person is different, but it does help.” Emmrich sat next to them, but unlike Rook his feet touched the floor. “May I ask about the potions you mentioned?”

“Sure,” Rook said. “I take one for gender stuff and one of the effects is that I’m a lot less likely to get pregnant. I also take the standard birth control tonic, just to be sure.”

“That’s prudent of you.”

“This is probably a good time to say that I don’t want to be pregnant, ever,” Rook said. “Even thinking about it too much can trigger my dysphoria. I’m not against the idea of kids generally, if that’s important to you, but we would have to adopt. If that’s a deal breaker, I’d rather know now.”

“Not at all,” Emmrich said. “If we decide we want children, adoption is a perfectly acceptable way to do so. Can I assume that has been an issue in your relationships before?”

“It’s come up,” Rook said. “I’m not surprised it doesn’t bother you given Manfred, but I thought it was important to say.”

“Manfred is not my child,” Emmrich protested.

“Mm hm.” Rook smiled and kissed him. “I’m sorry it took so long to come see you.”

“You’re our leader, darling,” Emmrich said. “I can hardly expect a monopoly on your time, as much as I might wish it.”

“You have me now.”

“True,” he said, stroking their face. “But it would be a bit conspicuous if we both skipped dinner.”

“I don’t think that matters,” Rook said. “Everyone knows we had sex.”

“Oh.” Emmrich sighed. “I suppose I shouldn’t have such a high expectation of privacy, given our living situation.”

“Considering how fast the start of our relationship got around, this shouldn’t be a surprise,” Rook said. “I don’t think either of us are great at being subtle about our feelings.”

“No, it seems we aren’t.” Emmrich brushed a piece of hair from Rook’s face. “I foolishly thought this might make me less distractible, but it seems to have had the opposite effect.”

“And what exactly is distracting you?” Rook asked with a smirk.

“I wonder.” Emmrich’s hand drifted slowly to Rook’s shoulder then down their back as he spoke. “I’ve been considering how best to apply what I learned last night.”

“Did you come up with anything?”

“I have a few ideas,” he said. “But it’s time for dinner.”

“Now you’re being mean,” Rook complained.

“To be honest, darling, I’m fairly certain I’m going to fall asleep immediately after and I would like to eat,” Emmrich said. “Besides, one of my current hypotheses is that you enjoy delayed gratification.”

“Maybe,” Rook said. “You’ll have to test it to find out.” Emmrich kissed Rook’s hand.

“I look forward to it.”

Notes:

I absolutely think that the camping trip is when Harding starts to worry about Emmrich being "mopey." Like yes he's excited to be in Ferelden with his friend but also he keeps staring moodily into the distance and sighing.

I finally got around to doing a Lich Emmrich playthrough and while I enjoyed it and am glad I did, I am still 100% on team Manfred. The two highlights of it for me were a) Emmrich calling Rook "my love" since you say I love you earlier and b) Emmrich and Harding agreeing to be immortal friends forever, their friendship is so cute.

Chapter 13

Notes:

Content Warning for transphobia and deadnaming

It was, unsurprisingly, raining in Minrathous. The rumours were that the weather was due to the Archon’s Palace, that the magic that kept it floating interfered with the clouds. Whatever the reason, the citizens of Thedas’s largest city were used to it. Those from elsewhere, however…

“Does it ever stop raining?” Lucanis grumbled.

“Sometimes,” Neve replied. “A few years back it didn’t rain for a whole month. Turns out some magister did a ritual to clear the skies.”

“I remember that,” Rook said. “Everyone was really impressed until it was revealed he killed a hundred slaves to do it.”

“In that case, I’ll take the rain,” Lucanis said.

“Some of the nicer areas of the city have spells that redirect it to a reservoir,” Neve said. “Not Dock Town, though.”

“It adds to the charm,” Rook said.

“It makes my boots squelch,” Lucanis said.

“Tell you what, next time we’re at the market we’ll get you an enchantment,” Neve said. “A real one too.”

“Venatori first,” Rook said. “Then we can waterproof Lucanis’s boots.” Half an hour and two dozen dead Venatori later, the trio were in Dock Town’s market. Rook browsed the food stalls while Neve and Lucanis looked for the enchantment.

“Find what you need?” Rook asked.

“We did,” Lucanis confirmed.

“I’ll put it on when we get back to the Lighthouse,” Neve said. “I picked up a few extras in case anyone else wants it.”

“Anything else before we leave?” Rook asked.

“Yes, I want to pick up some groceries,” Lucanis said.

“Let’s split up,” Rook said. “I’ll get the produce, you two get the meat.” Lucanis and Neve went off, bantering with each other. Rook couldn’t help but smile. They were cute. Hopefully Lucanis would make a move beyond making Neve’s favourite dessert.

“Evaline?” A woman’s voice said. “Evaline Mercar?” Rook started at the name but didn’t turn around.

“It is you,” the woman said. “I’d recognize that hair anywhere.”

“Sophia,” Rook said, turning. “It’s been a long time.”

“Too long,” Sophia said. “We should catch up!”
“No.” Rook tried to leave but she stepped in front of them.

“Eva, don’t be like that,” Sophia said. “We’ve known each other forever.”

“That’s not my name,” Rook said. “And we’re not friends.”

“You know, it really hurt when you stopped talking to me all of sudden,” Sophia said. “But it’s been long enough. I forgive you.”

“ You forgive me ?” Rook demanded. “You-” They clenched their fists. “You know what. Never mind. Arguing with you has always been pointless.” They left the market, so angry that they didn’t know where they were going. Somewhere safe. And far away from Sophia.

 

---

 

“Where did Rook go?” Neve asked, holding the bag with the fish well out of reach of a stray cat.

“They were talking to that woman,” Lucanis said. “But after that I don’t know.”

“Excuse me,” Neve said. “Do you know where our friend went?”
“Evaline?” Sophia said. “She stormed off in a huff. As usual.”

“Who’s Evaline?” Lucanis asked.

“She means Rook,” Neve said.

“Rook?” Sophia scoffed. “Is that what she’s using now? She’s always been so dramatic, changing her name on a whim. I don’t know why her parents indulged her.”
“Indulged?” Lucanis tried to step forward but Neve put a hand on his arm.

“Causing a scene here isn’t going to help anyone.”

“But-”

“I know, but Rook should be our priority. They need us.” Lucanis growled but stepped back.

“You,” he said, pointing at Sophia. “Stay away from Rook.”

“We should check in at the Shop,” Neve said as they walked away. “If they went back to the Lighthouse, someone would have seen them.”

“Right.” They made their way quickly through the winding streets, but unfortunately none of the Shadow Dragons had seen Rook.

“Now what?” Lucanis asked.

“The Shadows will keep a lookout,” Neve said. “But we can’t search Minrathous on our own. We need to get the others. One of them might know where Rook’s gone.”

“I’ll let you do the talking,” Lucanis said as they entered the eluvian. “I don’t want to be the one to tell Emmrich Rook’s missing.”

“So you’ll make me tell him instead?”

“He likes you.”

“Fine. I’ll talk to Emmrich, you get the others.” Back at the Lighthouse, they went their separate ways. Luckily, Emmrich was alone when Neve found him.

“Ah, Neve,” he said, putting down the skull he was holding. “Did you need something?”

“Rook’s missing.”

 

---

 

“Does anyone have any idea where they might have gone?” Neve asked the assembled group. “We know they didn’t enter the eluvian, so they have to still be in Minrathous.”

“That doesn’t exactly narrow it down,” Davrin said. “We need more information.”

“They told me that when they need to think about stuff they go up high,” Taash said.

“Okay, so a tower or a rooftop,” Neve said. “Anything else?”

“Oh! They mentioned something about the sea once,” Bellara said. “About… the horizon?”

“That helps,” Neve said.

“Before they joined up with me and Varric, they worked a neighbourhood for the Shadow Dragons,” Harding said. “If that’s the area of Minrathous they’re most familiar with, they’d probably go there, right?”
“Okay, so we’re looking for a tower or some other place high up with a view of the ocean in Rook’s old neighbourhood,” Neve said. “Ashur can help us there. Once we know that, we can figure out how best to search.”

“Maybe someone should stay here, in case they come back?” Harding suggested.

“I can stay,” Bellara said.

“Thanks, Bel,” Neve said. “Everyone else, let’s move.”

“Are you okay?” Harding asked as they entered the Crossroads.

“Hm?” Emmrich started at the question. “Yes. Well, no. I’m worried about Rook.”

“Yeah… It sounds like whoever this woman is, it didn’t go well.”

“They mentioned that not everyone was accepting of their gender, but didn’t go into specifics.”

“We’ll find them,” Harding said reassuringly.

“Of course.” With the Viper’s help, the group made their way to Rook’s old neighbourhood.

“It looks like there’s a few possibilities,” Neve said. “Let’s split into teams. Go to the location. If Rook’s not there, come back here. We’ll know if we found them based on who doesn’t return.” They split into pairs, Lucanis and Neve, Taash and Davrin, and Harding and Emmrich.

“Well, that’s definitely tall,” Harding said, looking up at the tower. “And you can probably see the ocean from the top.”
“I suppose we’ll find out,” Emmrich said. They climbed to the top and found Rook leaning on a railing looking out at the sea.

“Rook!” Harding said, but they didn’t respond.

“Lace,” Emmrich said. “Perhaps you could go and inform the others. Let them know we’ll meet them back at the Shop.”

“Right, of course,” Harding said. Once she was gone, Emmrich approached his partner.

“Darling,” he said, and they turned.

“Oh, Emmrich,” Rook said. “I didn’t hear you.” He joined them at the railing. The city was spread out before them with the ocean in the background.

“This is quite the view,” he said.

“Yeah.” Rook looked down at their hands. “I guess Lucanis and Neve told you what happened.”

“Not specifics,” Emmrich said. “Just that you had an encounter with someone from your past and that they were disrespectful. Although Lucanis used more colourful language.”

“I bet.” Rook sighed. “It’s… I don’t know.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes.” They were quiet for a minute. “Sophia and I grew up together. Her family was military too and we were the same age so we naturally fell in together.”

“Something changed,” Emmrich said.

“I came out a non-binary,” Rook said. “I told you how great my family was about it. Sophia… wasn’t.”

“You mentioned that some people didn’t accept it when you came out,” Emmrich said.

“Yep. She wouldn’t stop using my old name or ‘she’, so I cut off contact. I haven’t seen her since I left Ventus.”

“It must have been quite the shock, seeing her today,” Emmrich said.

“She was still using that name.” Rook shook their head. “I didn’t think it would get to me this much. It’s not like I’m newly out. And I’m much more confident of myself than I was back then. It’s just…” They trailed off.

“I imagine you haven’t heard that particular name in quite a long time.”

“Decades.”

“Then it’s not surprising that you reacted strongly. It must have been quite alarming.”

“It wasn’t great.” Rook looked up. “I worried you, huh?”
“A little,” Emmrich admitted.

“Sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Rook smiled and leaned their head on his shoulder.

“How did you even find me up here?”

“Neve put things together based on what you told some of the others,” Emmrich said, putting an arm around them. “We didn’t know the exact location. It was luck that I ended up here.”

“I’m glad it was you,” Rook said. “Do you need to tell the others you found me?”

“Harding went to do just that,” he said. “We’ll meet them at the Shop.”

“That’s good.” They closed their eyes. “I need another minute.”

“Take as long as you like, my dear,” Emmrich said. “You have so much on your shoulders. No one will begrudge you some time.” He gently stroked their shoulder. Rook smelled like ginger and jasmine, a scent that was as warm as their smiles, and quite intoxicating. After a few minutes, they straightened.

“Okay. We should go.”

“Are you sure?” Emmrich asked.

“Yep. All good.” He doubted that was true. Despite their conversation around Rook’s reasons for being cautious in their relationship, they still weren’t fully opening up to him. This wasn’t the time to push, however.

“Very well.” They made their way down the tower and out into the streets of Minrathous.

“This quarter is quite different from Dock Town,” Emmrich noted.

“It’s a middle class area,” Rook said. “Lots of merchants and better-off laetans.”

“This is where you lived before Nessus, is it not?”

“Yep,” they said. “It hasn’t changed much.”

“I would love to see more of the city,” Emmrich said. “I enjoyed visiting Faustina’s statue with you.”

“And that wasn’t even a date,” Rook said. “I’d never had anyone use an epic romantic poem to flirt with me before.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“You’ll have to show me around some more,” Emmrich said. “The city has such history.”

“There’s nowhere else like it,” Rook said. “It’s difficult sometimes, with all the terrible things that happen, the way people are mistreated… but it’s home. And it can be so much more.”

“Your belief that things can change is one of the many things I admire about you.”

“You’re sweet.”

“I mean every word, darling.” They stopped just outside the entrance to the Pawn Shop.

“Thanks for coming to find me,” Rook said. “And for listening.”

“Always.” Rook smiled as they entered the Pawn Shop.

“You’re back,” The Viper said.

“Was there any doubt?” Rook asked, any trace of insecurity or doubt replaced by cheer.

“Not from us,” Tarquin said. “Your friends are in the other room.”

“Thanks.”

“Rook,” Maevaris said. “I heard what happened. Are you okay?”

“I am now,” Rook said. “I needed some time.”

“I understand,” Maevaris said. “If you want to talk about it, let me know.”

“Thanks, Maevaris.”

“Rook!” Harding exclaimed as they entered the back room.

“Hey,” Rook said. “Sorry for worrying everyone.”

“It’s not your fault,” Neve said.

“If you want her taken care of, just say the word,” Lucanis said.

“I don’t think we need to murder her,” Rook said. “She’s an asshole, but you can’t kill someone just for that.”

“I’ve accepted contracts for less.”

“What about a punch in the face?” Taash suggested. “I could do that.”

“It’s really fine,” Rook said. “I appreciate the sentiment, but she’s not worth the effort.”

“If you’re sure,” Davrin said.

“I am.” Rook spread their arms. “Now, don’t we have a world to save? And boots to waterproof?”

“True on both counts,” Neve said.

“I want waterproof boots,” Harding said as they headed back to the Eluvian.

“That’s why I picked up extra charms,” Neve said.

“If the detective thing doesn’t pan out, you could start a business,” Davrin said. “Neve’s Waterproof Boots.”

“That’s a bad name,” Taash said.

“And a terrible business idea,” Neve said. “Especially in Tevinter.” Rook hesitated in front of the eluvian.

“Are you sure you’re alright, darling?” Emmrich asked.

“A little homesick, that’s all.”

“Rook…”

“I’m fine. Come on, the others are waiting.” They stepped through the mirror and Emmrich followed with a sigh, wondering what more he could do to get them to be honest with him.

Notes:

Poor Emmrich really wants to be a loving and supportive partner but Rook can't quite seem to let him.

Chapter 14

Notes:

CW for a brief discussion of deadnaming

“Rook,” Maevaris said, smiling as they approached. “Alone today?”

“Yeah,” Rook said. “I was hoping I could talk to you.”

“Of course,” she said. “Why don’t we go for a walk?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be in hiding?” Rook asked as they left the Shop.

“That doesn’t mean I have to stay cooped up all the time, as much as Ashur might prefer it,” Maevaris said. “Besides, I have you to protect me.”

“I doubt you need my help,” Rook said. “You were a magister.”

“Maybe not,” she conceded. “But fighting together is always more effective than fighting alone. Now, what did you want to talk about?”

“What happened on Tuesday,” Rook said. “The person I usually talk to about something like that isn’t around and you said before that I could talk to you, so here I am.”

“I thought that might be it,” Maevaris said. “Being misgendered is never a pleasant experience, even less so when it’s purposeful.”

“I didn’t think it would get to me as much as it did,” Rook said. “I don’t know how much you know about me, but I’ve changed my name a lot.”

“Tarquin mentioned something along those lines.”

“It doesn’t usually bother me if someone uses one of my old names,” they continued. “I might not go by them anymore, but I don’t really consider them deadnames either. Evaline, though… Neve asked me if I wanted her to erase any of my names from her notes and that was the only one.”

“Is it the name your parents gave you?” Rook nodded. “Perhaps it’s because it wasn’t your choice.”

“I didn’t choose Rook either,” they said. “Varric gave it to me.”

“Varric knew you,” Maevaris said. “Your parents didn’t. No parent can know who their child will be at birth, or adoption in your case.”

“I guess,” Rook said. “I don’t even know that it’s the deadnaming and misgendering that’s bothering me. I mean, it sucked, but…”

“Ah.” Maevaris stopped to give a coin to a beggar. “You’re worried about what your team thinks of you.”

“They’ve all got their own shit to deal with, on top of the gods,” Rook said. “I don’t need them worrying about me.”

“What about Emmrich?”

“He worries too much already.”

“I see.” Maevaris stopped in front of a small cafe. “How about something to drink?”

“Sure.” They took a table near the back and each ordered tea.

“Rook,” Maevaris said. “You know you don’t have to be perfect. Your team will trust you more if they see you as a person.”

“The team is more than aware of my faults,” Rook said wryly.

“Then what is bothering you about this?”

“I’m embarrassed,” they admitted. “I shouldn’t have run off and made them track me down.”

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” Maevaris asked. “You had a perfectly understandable reaction to something upsetting. If it was one of your team, you wouldn’t think less of them.”

“It’s different.”

“Why?”

“I…” Rook didn’t have an answer.

“You need support just as much as your team does, Rook,” Maevaris said. “I’m happy to help when I can, but I’m not there with you. You lead the team, yes, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel things. You are not the Inquisitor, commanding thousands who barely know what he looks like. Your team — your friends — care about you. That’s not a weakness.”

“I know that,” Rook said. “They’re not soldiers and I don’t treat them like they are.”

“Friendship goes both ways,” Maevaris said. “If someone only takes from you and never gives anything back, that person is not truly a friend. When your team showed up here looking for you, they weren’t looking for their leader. They were looking for their friend.”

“Yeah.” Rook sighed. “I never wanted this. Varric was supposed to lead the team, not me.”

“Maybe, but Varric always believed in you. He wouldn’t have chosen you as his second in command if he didn’t think you could step up when the time came.”

“I still can’t believe you and Varric are related,” Rook said. “And Emmrich and Dorian know each other.”

“The world is smaller than we think,” Maevaris said. “Rook, if I may? Sulahn once told me that the only way he gets through all the politics of his job is because he knows he can be completely open with Dorian. You have someone who obviously cares for you a great deal. If I have one piece of advice, it’s to let him.”

“I’ve been trying, but it’s hard,” Rook said. “I’m not good at being open with people.”

“All the more reason.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Maevaris. This was helpful.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Whatever you need, I am always here for you.”

 

---

 

Rook stood outside Emmrich’s door and took a deep breath. Okay. Open. Honest. They could do this. He was standing by the fire when they entered the room.

“Rook,” he said with a smile. “How was Minrathous?”

“Wet,” they said. “But that’s nothing new.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

“Sort of.” Rook shifted anxiously. “These are for you.” They held out the bouquet they’d selected, blue daisies and freesia to represent trust.

“Rook…” Emmrich accepted it with a look of understanding. “Darling, I-”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“With regards to what?”

“Anything.” Once the words started coming, Rook couldn’t make them stop. “Everyone keeps expecting me to make these big decisions but I don’t know how. You want me to be more open with you but I don’t know how to do that either. I have the Elven gods of lies in my head giving me advice that I know I can’t trust but which sounds reasonable most of the time. None of my plans ever work out like they’re supposed to but for some reason everyone thinks that I’m good at making them. All I’m really good at is falling into and getting out of trouble and for that reason Varric decided that I should take over the team. I really like you but can’t stop worrying that something’s going to go wrong because that’s what always happens. I have one of the worst possible combination of identities for living in Tevinter and it’s exhausting. I don’t know if my family is alive and Ashur won’t tell me where my best friend is. Sometimes it feels like nothing we do as the Shadow Dragons actually makes any difference. You are the best thing that has happened to me in a long time and I haven’t told you any of this because I’m afraid that you’ll change your mind if you know who I really am.” Rook was lightheaded from speaking so fast. Emmrich placed the flowers on a shelf before wrapping his arms around them. Rook returned the hug and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of moss, rosewater, and lilac that was starting to smell like home.

“I can at least put your final worry to rest,” Emmrich said. “Nothing you said has changed how I feel about you, even a little. My interest in you only began once I started to see past who you project to the world. That is the person I want to know better.”

“Oh, Emmrich.” Rook didn’t know how to respond to that. “You’re too good at this.”

“I mean everything I say, darling.”

“I know.” One of his buttons was digging into their cheek but they didn’t want to move. “I didn’t mean to drop all of that on you at once.”

“I did ask you to be more vulnerable with me.”

“Regretting that yet?”

“Not at all.” Rook might be biased, but Emmrich really did give the best hugs. They didn’t know if it was the height difference or what, but it was always so warm. They very reluctantly released him.

“I seem to have left an impression on you,” he said, brushing their cheek where his button had been.

“Since the day we met,” Rook said fondly. “Emmrich, I…” For once they didn’t know what to say. It felt like they’d spent all their words at once.

“Would you like some tea?” They couldn’t help but smile. It was his cure for everything.

“Yeah. That would be great.” While he prepared that, Rook found a vase and arranged the flowers, giving them a chance to collect their thoughts.

“What would you like to talk about?” Emmrich asked once the tea was poured.

“Good question.” Rook inhaled, letting the aroma steady them. “I went to see Maevaris today.”

“To talk about what happened on Tuesday?”

“Yeah. We talked about a lot of stuff, but in the end it boiled down to me needing support. I know that you’ve offered it before and that I’ve mostly brushed you off, so I’m going to stop doing that and start taking you up on your offer, assuming it still stands.”

“Of course,” Emmrich said. “Whatever you need, darling, you have but to ask.”

“I’m sorry it’s taken this long,” Rook said. “Thank you for being patient with me.” He took their hand across the table.

“I won’t pretend that your reticence to accept my aid hasn’t been frustrating at times, but I understand that you have your reasons. As for my patience… I care about you, Rook, and I will gladly wait as long as you need.” Rook’s chest warmed.

“I really don’t deserve you,” they said. Emmrich kissed their hand.

“I disagree,” he said. “And I am yours, for as long as you will have me.” Rook smiled.

“I guess that takes care of my ‘us’ concerns,” they said. “The other stuff we can talk about another time, but I would like to tell you about Mira.”

“Mira would be your best friend of whose whereabouts you are uncertain?”

“I’m still getting used to you paying this much attention to what I say,” Rook said with a laugh. “Yeah, that’s her.”

“Tell me about her.”

“We met shortly after I first arrived in Minrathous,” they said. “So… 10 years ago? Great, now I feel old.”

“Time often has a way of surprising us,” Emmrich said.

“That’s one way of putting it,” Rook said. “Mira really disliked me at first. Apparently my flippancy gives off the wrong impression.”

“Or perhaps it gives off exactly the impression you want it to?” Emmrich suggested.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rook said with a grin. “Anyways, I helped her with a difficult situation and we became friends. We were recruited into the Shadow Dragons together, shared an apartment, and were basically inseparable until Nessus.”

“She didn’t help you?”

“She was working a different job,” Rook said. “I haven’t seen her since. All I know is that she's not in Minrathous and that she’s undercover. Ashur won’t tell me where she is because he thinks I’d try to contact her.”

“Would you?”

“Probably.” Rook finished their tea. “Just because he’s right doesn't mean I can’t be annoyed about it. Last time I asked he said it would be another couple of months at most but that was three months ago.”

“I hope she returns soon,” Emmrich said. “I must admit, I am curious to meet one of your friends from before all of this.”

“You know Tarquin.”

“True, but given your belligerent relationship I’m not sure he would be the best source of information.” Rook laughed.

“Yeah, he’d probably tell you that things were better when I was gone,” they said. “He wouldn’t mean it, though.”

“You miss the Shadow Dragons a great deal,” Emmrich observed. “You always have a touch of melancholy when you return from Minrathous.”

“I get homesick sometimes,” Rook admitted. “Don’t we all?”

“Yes, although lately I’ve found myself wishing to return to the Lighthouse, even when I’m at the Necropolis.”

“It’s starting to feel like home here, isn’t it?”

“It is, but it’s more than the place itself,” Emmrich said. “You’re here, dearest. All I want when we are apart is to return to your side.” From anyone else it would come across as cliché, but from Emmrich, who was so completely sincere in everything he said, it was wonderful.

“I wish we had more time together,” Rook said. “Normal time, not ‘running around trying to stop the end of the world’ time.”

“I treasure all of our time together, no matter how brief,” Emmrich said. “Once this is over, we will have all the time we want.” It won’t be the same. Rook stopped themself from voicing that thought. They were going to be more open with Emmrich except for one specific thing. They could never voice their doubts about his lichdom. It wouldn’t be fair to him and it wasn’t as if they didn’t know what they were getting into. Those doubts were Rook’s to grapple with, and theirs alone. They couldn’t talk about it with anyone even if they wanted to, since Emmrich asked them not to tell anyone about it. So they pushed down the part of themself that wanted to beg him to remain mortal and told themself they were lucky to have any amount of time with Emmrich, that it would still be him, that change wasn’t a bad thing. Sometimes they even believed it.

“Darling?” Rook blinked, coming back to the present.

“Sorry, zoned out for a minute there,” they said. “I have an idea. When we do have time together, like this, you can ask me any question you want and I promise I’ll answer honestly.” Emmrich sat back in his chair.

“Any question?”

“Yeah.”

“Very well. How are you?”

“That’s your question?” Rook asked.

“Yes,” Emmrich said. “I want to know, honestly, how you are doing.” Rook swallowed the impulse to say they were fine.

“I’m tired,” they said. “I would really like one single day off but everytime it seems like I might have one, something new and urgent comes up.”

“I have noticed the increased fatigue,” Emmrich said. “It would help if you slept more. Five hours is not enough, especially since your conversations with Solas are not restful.”

“I know you’re right, but…” Rook shrugged. “There’s too much to do.”

“I seem to recall you advising Bellara on the importance of rest.”

“Too bad I’m terrible at taking my own advice.” Emmrich sighed.

“Well, thank you for being honest with me, darling,” he said. “About this and everything else. I will do whatever I can to support you.”

“I know,” Rook said. “You really do make things easier, Emmrich. No matter how tired or frustrated I am, just being around you makes me feel better.”

“That means a great deal,” he said. “I feel the same way. Your presence brightens whatever space you are in.” There was a knock on the door and Davrin entered.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I have a message from Evka and Antoine,” he said. “It sounds urgent.” Rook gave Emmrich a rueful smile and stood.

“See what I mean?” they asked. “I’ll see you later.”

“I am always here for you, dearest.” Rook kissed him and followed Davrin out. Maevaris was right. They felt better after opening up to Emmrich and they knew that whatever came, it would be bearable as long as they had each other.

Notes:

That conversation you get with Maevaris where she offers to support a trans Rook is so good. I love her so much.

Emmrich finally got what he wanted! Maybe not quite like he expected, but hey.

The lichdom thing is so interesting to me because you don't have a cutscene conversation with Emmrich between starting the relationship and getting The Sacrifice of Souls, plus it's heavily implied that Rook is the only person he tells about it so like they apparently don't talk about it and Rook can't talk to anyone else. It feels natural that Rook has doubts (especially a non-Mourn Watch Rook) but also that they can't tell him because who are they to come into his life and demand he give that up? Anyways, I'm sure this won't come up again and/or have consequences once they make a decision!

Oh, and Emmrich absolutely arranges for Rook to have a day off.

Chapter 15

Mira was glad to be back in Minrathous. Going undercover could be fun, but this particular assignment was long and the circumstances meant she could only get in contact with the Shadow Dragons when the job was done or if it was an absolute emergency. Her mission was delayed by the resurgence of the Venatori, but six weeks ago she’d finally retrieved the information and the artifact. After a week of hiding and a month of travel, she was finally home. The only thing missing from her return had just stepped into the Shop from the back room, accompanied by two humans.

“Well, well, look who it is.” Mira stepped into the path of her friend. “Looks like neither of us could stay away.”

“Mira!” Her friend grinned. “You’re back!”

“I could say the same to you,” Mira said. “I heard you’re going by a different name.”

“Rook, at your service,” they said with a bow.

“Like the bird?”

“The chess piece,” Rook said. “One of the strongest pieces on the board, but apparently I have a tendency to think in a straight line.” Mira laughed.

“Now there’s an accurate description. Who told you that?”

“A friend,” they said. “Your hair’s long.”

“My mother’s thrilled,” Mira said. “Yours is the same.”

“Why fix what isn’t broken?” Rook said with a grin. “When did you get back?”

“About a week ago,” Mira said. “Tarquin said you’re around but that you’re not living in the city?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Shocking.” Mira turned their attention to the humans with Rook. One was a woman whose clothing marked her as local, but the other didn’t seem Tevinter. His clothes were cut differently and there was something about the way he carried himself. More importantly, he radiated affection when looking at Rook.

“Who are your friends?” Mira asked.

“Oh, right. This is Neve Gallus-”

“The detective?” Mira interrupted, surprised. How did Rook know her?

“That’s me,” Neve said. Mira raised their eyebrows at Rook who shrugged.

“And Professor Emmrich Volkarin,” they finished. “Neve, Emmrich, this is Mira. She’s my closest friend.”

“Nice to meet you,” Neve said.

“Charmed,” Emmrich said. “Rook speaks about you often.” Based on Rook’s body language, his affection was returned. That definitely wasn’t trouble.

“Whatever they told you, it’s not true,” Mira said.

“Hey, I told him good things,” Rook said. “Mostly.”

“You must have stories about Rook,” Neve said.

“Of course,” Mira said. “What’ll you give me for them?”

“How about recent news?” Neve said. “There’s a lot to tell.”

“I’m right here,” Rook said. “Also, I tell Mira everything.”

“We need to catch up,” Mira said.

“Definitely. I’m helping Neve with a case, but after that?”

“I’ll be here,” Mira said.

“See you later.” The trio returned a couple of hours later. Mira followed them to the back room but stopped in the door. Neve stepped through a giant mirror which was strange, but what really caught her attention was the interaction between Rook and Emmrich.

“I’ll probably crash here tonight,” Rook said. “Navigating the Crossroads drunk and alone seems like a bad idea.”

“It does,” Emmrich agreed with a smile. “I hope you enjoy yourself with Mira, darling.”

“I always do,” they said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I will feel your absence keenly.”

“It’s one night,” Rook said with a laugh.

“Even so.”

“Emmrich, you are ridiculous and adorable and I’ll miss you too.” He smiled and kissed them.

“Until tomorrow, darling.”

“Bye.” Rook watched him leave with a smile that Mira hadn’t seen in years.

“We do have a lot to catch up on,” she said from the door. “Darling?”

“You have a problem with that?” Rook asked, turning to face her.

“I thought you were done with relationships.”

“And I thought you weren’t going to grow your hair out again,” they retorted. “Things change.”

“Right,” Mira said. “We definitely need drinks.”

“Where do you want to go? The Swan?”

“It’s never wrong.” The pair made their way to the Cobbled Swan and took a table in the back, away from anyone else. While they waited for food, Rook filled Mira in on what had happened since they last saw each other. When they finished, Mira stared at them for a moment then drained their cup in one go.

“Tell me about it,” Rook said.

“I can’t believe you’re leading a team,” Mira said. “Who thought that was a good idea?”

“Don’t ask me,” Rook said. “Why Varric thought I should be the one making the big decisions is beyond me.”

“Do you regret any of it?” They shook their head.

“I live with the consequences of my choices. It’s hard seeing Treviso Blighted, but I would never abandon Minrathous.”

“Except when the Viper suggests you stay away for your own safety,” Mira said.

“That was different,” Rook said. “Sorry I couldn’t tell you in person.”

“I get it,” she said. “Although I did have to give up our apartment.”

“Yeah… sorry.”

“I have your stuff, if you want it.”

“Sure,” Rook said. “But weren’t you away from the city? You take it all with you?” Mira snorted.

“No. It’s in a box at the Shop.”

“I’ll get it tomorrow,” Rook said. “Where did you go? The Viper wouldn’t tell me.”

“I was in Marnas Pell,” Mira said. “I think the Viper was worried I would try and take on the magisters hunting you.”

“Would you have?”

“Depends on how much trouble you were in,” Mira said. “Although you seem to have stumbled into plenty anyways.”

“It’s what I’m good at,” Rook said cheerfully.

“At least you’re good at getting out of it too,” Mira said. “Although Elven gods? Even you might have difficulty with that.”

“I don’t have a choice,” Rook said. “We’re the only ones who can stop them.”

“Well, try not to get yourself killed,” Mira said. “For me?”

“I’ll do my best,” Rook said. “Another drink?”

“Do you have to ask?” The food arrived and Mira told them about her adventures in Marnas Pell while they ate.

“So,” Mira said when they had a fresh round. “Tell me about this professor of yours.”

“Emmrich?” Rook asked. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” she said. “He’s not Tevinter. Where’s he from?”

“Nevarra,” they said. “He’s a mortalitasi and a senior member of the Mourn Watch. They oversee the Grand Necropolis.”

“He’s a necromancer?”

“I know what it sounds like, but he’s not like that,” Rook said. “Emmrich is not what you would expect from a necromancer.”

“So he’s not obsessed with death and weirdly into skulls?”

“Okay yes,” Rook conceded. “But the way he talks about spirits and the dead is… romantic.”

“I’ll take your word on that,” Mira said. “He must be something if he charmed you into a relationship after Asshole.”

“I don’t know that I’d say he charmed me,” Rook said. “At least not on purpose. He wasn’t expecting this either.”

“So what, you stumbled into it?”

“Kind of?” Rook took a drink. “I flirted with him for fun at first, but then it turned into something more. Emmrich is… different. I’ve always been just Rook to him. Not an elf or Tevinter or non-binary. He sees me as… me. Not even you did that when we first met. He’s compassionate and intelligent and attractive and so attentive. I’m comfortable with him and he makes me feel safe. I really like him, Mira.” That was an understatement. Rook hadn’t been like this in years.

“I can see that,” she said. “How’s the sex?”

“Best I’ve had.”

“Better than Jo?” Rook shrugged affirmatively. “Damn.”

“You have no idea.”

“And the necromancy really isn’t weird?”

“I wouldn’t say there’s zero weirdness,” Rook said. “We have made out in a graveyard multiple times. The romance mostly cancels it out, and it has been very romantic.”

“Yeah? What are we talking about?”

“Flowers, showers of petals, candles, and a fancy dinner, to start.”

“Sounds like he swept you off your feet,” Mira said.

“Maybe a little,” they said. “But he’s swept up too.”

“So he’s kind, romantic, attractive, and good in bed. What’s the catch?”

“What makes you think there’s a catch?” Mira snorted.

“When isn’t there?”

“Fair.” Rook tapped a finger on the table. “There is something, but it’s not a catch, exactly.”

“Let’s hear it.” Rook shifted in their seat.

“I can’t tell you.”

“What happened to ‘I tell Mira everything?’”

“I know, but I made a promise.”

“To Emmrich.”

“Yeah.” Rook sighed. “I know how it sounds.”

“It doesn’t sound great.”

“It’s not like that.” They sat back. “There’s a thing that he wants to do, something he’s been working towards for a long time. It’s important to him and I support it, but it’s going to be a big change and I have some doubts.”

“Does he know that?” Mira asked.

“No,” Rook said. “And he can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to him. I can’t just waltz into his life and ask him to give it up. He told me about it before we started our relationship, so I knew what I was getting into.”

“So you can’t talk to him about it but you also can’t talk to anyone else,” Mira said. “Must be rough.”

“I’ve been writing and burning a lot of letters,” Rook said. “And talking to our griffon about it. Assan might not give advice, but he’s great at listening.”

“It really says something that griffons being not extinct was barely noteworthy in your story,” Mira said. “Whatever this thing is that Emmrich wants, you don’t have to stay if it will make you unhappy.”

“I know,” Rook said. “But it might not even happen and if it does, I’ll adjust. I care about Emmrich enough to make it work.” Mira sighed.

“Ancestors, you are so in love with him.”

“What? No. That’s- I’m not.”

“You can tell yourself whatever you want, but I know what it’s like when you’re in love and it’s this.” Mira gestured at them. “Guess I need to have a talk with him.”

“You can’t mention what I said about doubts,” Rook said. “And please be nice?”

“That depends on him.” Mira finished their drink. “Another?”

“One more,” Rook said. “I do have a world to save, after all.”

“Maker help us all.”

 

---

 

Mira stepped into the main room of the Shop with a yawn. She was definitely regretting that last ale. She went to search for coffee when she noticed Emmrich sitting at one of the tables, reading one of the terrible novels that Rook liked. It was strange that he was here. It wasn’t setting off alarm bells, yet, but it looked like they would be having their talk sooner rather than later.

“This is a surprise.” Emmrich looked up.

“Good morning, Mira,” he said, closing the book. “I hope you and Rook enjoyed yourselves last night.”

“It was good to catch up,” Mira said. “Rook’s still asleep.”

“Good,” Emmrich said. “They need it. I have something to help with a hangover, if you would like.”

“Is that why you’re here? To bring Rook a hangover cure?” Mira kept her tone light, but she paid close attention to his answer.

“It’s one reason,” he said. “We need supplies that can only be found in Minrathous and I volunteered to acquire them. I’m supposed to wait for Rook, however, as apparently I am ‘too much of a mark’ on my own.”

“They told you that?” Mira asked, amused.

“Them and Neve both.”

“Well, I won’t say no to that hangover cure,” Mira said, taking a seat across from him. “I want to talk to you anyway so this works out.”

“About Rook, I assume.” Emmrich produced a vial from his jacket and handed it to her.

“Thanks.” Mira downed the potion in one go. “And yes. They really like you. I haven’t seen them like this in a long time. My first question is if you feel the same.”

“I do,” Emmrich said. “Their interest in me was entirely unexpected but I have come to care for them a great deal. They are important to me and I can’t imagine that changing.” Good so far, and he seemed genuine.

“Is this something you see continuing after all this stuff with the gods is done?”

“I am theirs for as long as they will have me.” Oh, he was smitten. Cute.

“You love them.”

“Yes,” Emmrich said, without hesitation. “Although I haven’t told them. Our relationship is still relatively new and I don’t wish to push them into something before they’re ready.” Okay, this was good.

“How much have they told you about their last relationship?” Mira asked.

“Nothing specific,” he said. “Since you’re asking, I assume it ended poorly?”

“It’s not my place to say,” she said. “But the guy in question hasn’t been seen in Minrathous since.” Emmrich stared at Mira with his mouth open.

“I see.”

“Something for you to keep in mind,” Mira said. “A promise, from someone who loves Rook as well.”

“I understand,” Emmrich said. “They are lucky to have you looking out for them.”

“They do the same for me,” Mira said. “Rook says you’re a terrible liar, so I’m taking everything you told me at face value. I hope you don’t make me regret that decision.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.” Emmrich’s gaze slid past Mira and his face softened. She didn’t have to turn to know who had walked in.

“Emmrich.” Rook put a hand on his shoulder. “What are you doing here?”

“Good morning, darling,” he said. “We need supplies from the market. I also brought you something for a hangover.”

“Aw, thanks.” Rook drank the potion and kissed him. It was only once Mira cleared her throat that her friend noticed her at all. They really had it bad.

“Oh, hey,” Rook said. “How’s your head?”

“Not bad,” Mira said. “Emmrich brought me one of those potions too.”

“It would have been rude not to,” Emmrich said. Rook smiled at him, completely and utterly infatuated.

“I need coffee, then we can go,” they said.

“What about breakfast?” Emmrich asked.

“I’ll get something at the market,” Rook said. “Coffee, Mira?”

“Do you have to ask?” Mira said.

“Maybe, if your hair is any indication,” Rook said with a smirk.

“Shut up, Rook,” Mira said. “Get me coffee and I’ll refrain from threatening your boyfriend again.”

“Deal.” Rook disappeared down to the kitchen.

“If it’s not too intrusive, may I inquire about your hair?” Emmrich asked.

“Oh, that.” Mira shook her head. “My family are surfacers but very traditional. I cut my hair as part of a disagreement we were having. It was part of me leaving that life behind. I swore to Rook I would never grow it out again, but here I am.”

“Ah. They’re teasing you.”

“They do that.” Mira sat back. “Have they told you how we met?”

“They said they assisted you with a difficult situation.”

“Yeah, the situation being my family,” Mira said. “I was living my life, thinking I knew how my life was going to go, when suddenly this whirlwind of an elf burst in and turned everything upside down. Suddenly nothing seemed certain and it was all but impossible to go back to how things were before. Sound familiar?” Emmrich chuckled.

“I can relate, yes.”

“I resented them at first,” Mira said. “But I’m much happier now than I would have been married off to some merchant. My parents eventually started talking to me again, although they don’t approve of my life.”

“And they despise me.” Rook reappeared, putting a cup in front of Mira. “I’d never been called a knife ear by anyone other than humans until I met your mother.”

“In the same conversation that my father accused you of seducing me,” Mira said.

“I’ve had worse introductions.”

“Like almost killing Tarquin?” Mira suggested.

“That’s an exaggeration,” Rook said. “The cut didn’t even leave a scar.”

“That’s not the way he tells it.”

“Tarquin pretends he doesn’t like me but we all know that’s not true.” Rook turned their attention to Emmrich. “I hope Mira wasn’t too mean to you.”

“Not at all,” he said.

“Good.” Rook finished their coffee. “We should go. I promised Lucanis we’d go to Treviso tomorrow and I would like at least a few hours of downtime before then.”

“Of course.” Emmrich stood. “It was a pleasure talking with you, Mira. I won’t forget what you said.”

“Good,” Mira said. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again.”

“Of that I have no doubt.”

“I’ll see you around?” Rook asked.

“Probably,” Mira said. “I’m not sure how much I’ll be at the Shop, but you know where to find me. Oh, don’t forget your stuff.”

“Right, I’ll get it after we go to the market.” Rook smiled. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“I’m glad you’re not dead,” Mira said. “See you later, Rook.”

“See you.” Mira watched the couple leave, holding hands and smiling at each other. Whatever the not-catch is that Rook wouldn’t talk about, it was obvious that the two of them were very in love. She trusted her friend, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t do some investigating.

 

---

 

“Hey.” Mira caught Neve Gallus as she was heading away from Halos’s stand.

“Mira,” the detective said. “Were you waiting for me?”

“Something like that,” Mira said. “How serious were you about trading information about Rook?” Neve raised her eyebrows.

“I thought they told you everything.”

“From their point of view.”

“Ah.” Neve put a hand on her hip. “You want to know about Emmrich.”

“Rook’s very in love with him and it seems like he feels the same way, but it’s hard to tell from one conversation. You live with them.”

“And what do I get in return?” Neve asked.

“How about the truth behind how they got the scar on their nose?” Mira suggested. “They said it’s from fighting slavers, right?”

“That’s not true?”

“Depends on if we have a deal.” Neve regarded Mira for a moment.

“All right,” she said. “The truth of the scar in exchange for my opinion of Rook and Emmrich’s relationship.”

“Rook was trying to impress a woman she liked with a knife trick and dropped it on her nose. It sounds like the kind of thing you’d do when you were young and stupid, but they were 32.” Neve laughed.

“Oh, that’s good. I’m keeping that for the right moment.”

“So?”

“The first thing you should know is that Emmrich is both a terrible liar and cannot conceal his emotions,” Neve said. “Whatever he said during your conversation, he meant.”

“Rook said that too,” Mira said.

“They’re good for each other,” Neve said. “Emmrich is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, but he can be naive.”

“He did say he’s too much of a mark to go to the market on his own.” Neve laughed.

“Exactly. Rook’s getting him out of his comfort zone, among other things. But you’re not interested in how Rook is good for Emmrich, are you?”

“Not really.”

“You’ve known Rook a long time,” Neve said. “You must know how bad they are at putting themself first.” Mira snorted.

“That’s an understatement,” she said. “Rook has never been good at taking time off or slowing down in general.”

“Emmrich got them to stop drinking coffee after lunch.”

“Bullshit.” Neve chuckled.

“They’re also sleeping more and eating better,” she said. “Emmrich takes care of them, in ways I don’t think Rook knows.”

“What does that mean?”

“He makes sure they never run out of hair products and arranges for a day off, but he doesn’t tell them. I asked him about it once and he said that if he can make their life even slightly easier, that’s enough.”

“Between this and what Rook told me, I trust him even less,” Mira said. “What’s the catch?”

“There’s the necromancy,” Neve said. “It’s odd, but Emmrich is a good person and Tevinter isn’t in any place to be casting stones.” So she didn’t know about the not-catch that Rook mentioned. Not surprising, given that Rook promised not to talk about it. Mira got the feeling that what little they’d told her was pushing that promise.

“You asked for my opinion, and it’s that they’re a good match,” Neve continued. “I understand your concern, but Rook is happy with Emmrich.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen them this happy,” Mira admitted. “Are you going to tell Rook about this?”

“No,” Neve said. “You asked because you care, although you have made me late to meet them.”

“I won’t keep you longer, then,” Mira said. “Thanks for the info.”

“Thanks for the story,” Neve said. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.” Mira walked back to her apartment, ruminating on what Neve said. It was hard to believe that anyone could be as nice as Emmrich seemed to be, but maybe Mira was too cynical. She was worried about the not-catch, but for now all she could do was trust Rook and hope that she didn’t have to follow through on her threat.

Notes:

I mentioned this before, but one of the things I like about having an older Rook is that they had a life before the start of the game. Coming up with Mira as a character was fun, as was figuring out her and Rook's friendships and backstory. I also find writing from a different person's perspective to be fun and challenging.

Rook denying they're in love like okay girl (gender neutral) whatever you say vs Emmrich like yes of course I am, what a pair.

Davrin and Lucanis are the only ones allowed to visit Minrathous unaccompanied, everyone else has to be with either Neve or Rook.

Chapter 16

Emmrich stepped through the eluvian, happy to be back at the Lighthouse. The Necropolis would always be his home, but he was starting to think of the Lighthouse in the same way. Having someone to come back to certainly helped.

“Emmrich!” Harding stood from where she’d been sitting on the steps up to the eluvian. “You’re back.” Manfred hissed happily.

“You too, Manfred,” she added.

“Were you waiting for us?” Emmrich asked.

“Yep!” Harding said. “You have to come with me.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Not at all,” Harding said. “Trust me. Please?”

“Very well.” Emmrich and Manfred followed the dwarf who led them to Emmrich’s room.

“Okay, you have to stay here,” Harding said. “Manfred, Neve needs your help. She’s waiting outside.” Manfred looked at Emmrich, who nodded.

“Lace, what is going on?” he asked as Manfred left.

“I can’t tell you,” she said. “But I promise it’s good. I’ll be back to get you in a bit.” She left before Emmrich could ask any more questions. He went into his room, wondering what could possibly be going on. He freshened up then attempted to read, but was too distracted by the possibilities of what was happening. 20 minutes later, Harding returned.

“Ready?” she asked.

“For what?”

“You’ll see,” she said with a smile. Emmrich followed her out of the main building and over to the dining hall.

“This is you,” Harding said. “Have a good evening!” Still confused, Emmrich pushed open the door to the hall. It was completely transformed. Every possible surface was covered in flowers and it was lit not only by the fireplace but by small glowing orbs that hung in the air.

“Ah, good.” Lucanis appeared. “Please, this way.”

“What is all this?” Emmrich asked.

“A surprise,” Lucanis said. “Have a seat. I’ll be back with wine.” He disappeared into the pantry. At this point Emmrich had some idea of what was going on, but the most important part of it all was missing. Before he could sit where Lucanis indicated, there was the sound of a door opening. He turned just as Rook appeared at the top of the stairs. They were wearing something new, a loose lilac shirt under a deep purple vest with a dark ankle-length skirt and their hair was up, peppered with small white flowers. They were the most beautiful sight Emmrich had ever seen, and he was speechless. He reached Rook as they descended and offered his hand. They smiled at the gesture and accepted, allowing him to help them down the last few steps.

“Hi.”

“Darling, you look…” Emmrich prided himself on his elocution, but he was struggling to find a word to describe them. “Radiant.” It wasn’t enough, but Rook smiled anyway.

“Thank you.” They looked around as if seeing the room for the first time. “This is nice.”

“You haven’t seen it?” Emmrich asked, escorting his partner to the table.

“No,” they said as they took their seat. “I lost control of this almost immediately.”

“You said you wanted to have a nice evening,” Lucanis said, reappearing with a bottle of wine. “Given everything you have done for us, it only seemed right to do something in return.” Rook shifted slightly.

“Yeah. Thanks.” Lucanis poured the wine and served dinner before exiting the hall, leaving the couple alone.

“This makes you uncomfortable,” Emmrich observed.

“It’s too much,” Rook said. “All I really wanted was to have dinner together and to dress up a bit. This… is not that.”

“Our friends are showing their appreciation,” Emmrich said. “I think it’s quite lovely.”

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it,” Rook said. “They all put a lot of work into this.”

“But?”

“You’re always taking care of me, in so many ways. I wanted to do something for you, but everyone else taking it over means I haven’t actually done anything.”

“Darling.” He took their hand across the table. “Just because our friends took over the execution doesn’t mean you did nothing. This wouldn’t have happened without you. For one, you somehow managed to make this a surprise. I had no idea.”

“Really?”

“None,” Emmrich said. “Which is a feat in and of itself considering how bad some of the others are at keeping secrets.” 

“It wasn’t easy,” Rook said. “There was a lot of coordination of distractions for you and Manfred.”

“Precisely,” Emmrich said. “I understand what you’re saying, Rook, and I certainly appreciate the sentiment, but this being planned by our friends doesn't make it lesser. I agree with Lucanis. You do so much for all of us. Let us do something in return.”

“You do enough,” Rook said, squeezing his hand. “But you’re right. We should eat.”

“I assume this outfit is why you only went shopping when I was busy,” Emmrich said as they began the meal.

“I did mention distractions,” Rook said.

“It’s beautiful,” he said. “Purple is an excellent colour for you.”

“Thanks,” they said. “Maevaris recommended the tailor. She also made me a pair of pants so I can change things up.”

“I admit, I feel underdressed.”

“I couldn’t exactly ask if you have a fancy dinner outfit without giving anything away.”

“Of course I have one,” Emmrich said. “I do attend a fair number of dinner parties.”

“And you brought it to the Lighthouse?” Rook asked, amused.

“One must always be prepared.”

“Next time I plan a surprise date, I’ll let you know the dress code,” Rook said with a laugh.

“I would appreciate it.” Emmrich considered his partner. “Are the flowers in your hair orange blossoms?”

“Yes,” Rook said. “Bellara chose them so there’s no special meaning.”

“I did wonder,” Emmrich said. “You are many things, darling, but chaste is not one of them.” Rook laughed.

“Yeah, definitely not. At least they smell nice.”

“And look quite striking against your hair,” Emmrich said. “Like stars.”

“Here I was worried that it was too much,” Rook said.

“Not at all, darling.” They spent quite a while enjoying the meal and each other’s company. Eventually Rook suggested they should leave so that whoever was on clean-up didn’t have to spend all night waiting.

“Everyone is definitely watching us,” Rook said as they stepped arm-in-arm into the courtyard.

“Most likely,” Emmrich agreed. “We must be sure to thank them tomorrow.” 

“Mm hm.” Rook looked pensive as they walked to the main building.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Solas,” they said. “In all the memories we saw it didn’t seem like he had any friends. Maybe Felassan, but even with him there’s a distance. It must have been lonely, even before he woke up and everyone was gone.”

“I imagine it was.”

“He’s still an asshole,” Rook said. “But when I think about having to do all this alone…”

“Which you don’t,” Emmrich said. “And will never have to.”

“And that’s why we’re going to win.” They reached Emmrich’s bedroom.

“Do you want to take down your hair?” Emmrich asked as they entered.

“Eh, I’ll do it tomorrow,” Rook said. “It’s going to take a while. Bellara used a lot of pins.”

“You’re not concerned about the flowers making a mess?”

“Why?” Rook asked with a smirk. “Were you planning on doing something to them?”

“Not to the flowers, precisely,” Emmrich said. “I suppose I’ll have to be careful.”

“Mm hm.” Rook stood on their tiptoes and wrapped their arms around his neck. “Not too careful.”

“As you say, my dear.”

 

---

 

Rook opened their eyes and groaned. Of course Solas wanted to talk. Maker forbid the evening end pleasantly.

“Really?” they said shortly. “Can’t you leave me alone for one night?”

“You’re on edge,” Solas noted. “Did something happen?”

“I’m tired,” Rook said. “For some reason I’m not sleeping well. Not sure why that could be.”

“Perhaps,” Solas said. “Or perhaps I interrupted something?”

“In my sleep?”

“Your hair is different.” Rook blinked.

“What?”

“Your hair,” Solas repeated. “You put a great deal of effort into how it looks. I assume it's not for me.” Rook reached up. Their hair was done up like it was in the real world, complete with the orange blossoms.

“Maybe I wanted a change,” they said.

“It is far too impractical for that,” Solas said. “No. You did this for someone.”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business,” Rook said, crossing their arms.

“Of course it is,” he said. “If you’ve become emotionally compromised-”

“Excuse me?”

“-then I need to know,” Solas finished. “Since I assume you won’t tell me which of your team you’ve become involved with, I’ll have to determine it for myself.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Rook asked. Solas smiled that annoying smug smirk.

“Let’s start with the flowers,” he said. “It must have taken quite some time to place them all, which means you were certain that your partner would appreciate the effort. That eliminates the dragon hunter and the Warden. Both of them are too practical for something like this.”

“That’s your logic?” Rook asked. “Have you considered that I did this for myself instead of for someone else?”

“That is a possibility, but an unlikely one,” Solas said. “If that were true, you would have undone it before sleeping. That you didn’t means you were otherwise occupied. Moreover, you didn’t protest my assertion about their personalities, meaning I am correct.” Rook stared at him.

“You’re saying that if I was with Taash or Davrin, I would have complained,” they said slowly.

“Precisely,” Solas said. “I doubt the assassin is interested after you sacrificed his city to save your own, which leaves us with Scout Harding, the necromancer, and the Veil Jumper.”

“They have names, you know,” Rook said. “And you forgot Neve.” As soon as the words left their mouth, they realized. “Kaffas.”

“As you noticed, both of those were intentional,” Solas said. “Since you are trying to hide your partner from me, you would not have commented if it was Neve. On the other hand, you don’t like that I didn’t use their names, indicating that it is not Scout Harding.”

“I’d complain even if it was her,” Rook said. “But using names means you have to think of us as people, right?”

“Yes, you would,” Solas said, ignoring the second half of Rook’s statement. “But you just said yourself that it’s not. That leaves Emmrich or Bellara. Interesting. They are similar in some ways, but quite different in temperament.”

“I’m done talking to you,” Rook said.

“It doesn’t matter,” Solas said. “The flowers you wear are native to Nevarra. I must admit, I would not have guessed Emmrich. Perhaps I don’t know you as well as I think.”

“If you knew the whole time, why bother with the guessing game?” Rook asked, knowing they shouldn’t engage but unable to stop themself.

“I wanted to see your reactions,” Solas said. “Your face softened slightly when I said his name, meaning this isn’t a casual relationship. You care about him. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Being in such close proximity under dire circumstances often leads to attachment.”

“It’s so romantic when you put it that way,” Rook said.

“I’m sure that if you hadn’t recruited him, you would have chosen someone else,” Solas said. “No doubt any member of your team would have returned your affections, if you expressed interest.” There was a touch of bitterness in Solas’s voice.

“So you’re claiming that, what, my team was all just waiting around for me to decide who I want a relationship with?” Rook said. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?” Solas asked. “You have the same draw as the Inquisitor, an orbit that is nearly impossible to escape. It attracts people, in more ways than one.” Something clicked in Rook’s head.

“You have a crush on the Inquisitor.”

“That is absurd.”

“Is it? You just said that he has a draw.” Rook spread their arms. “You’re jealous. One of the only people you actually think of as a person chose a Tevinter Magister over one of his gods.”

“I am not a god,” Solas snapped. “And the Inquisitor is a friend and nothing more.”

“Because he chose Dorian over you,” Rook said. “That must have hurt.”

“This is not about the Inquisitor,” Solas said. “It’s about Emmrich being a weakness that the gods can exploit. Or can you honestly tell me that if you had to choose between stopping them and saving his life that you would make that sacrifice?”

“Caring about someone isn’t a weakness,” Rook said. “It’s part of what makes us who we are. I care about my team, my friends , and they care about me. More importantly, I let them care about me. I don’t push them away out of some fear of weakness. That’s what makes us different. So yeah, maybe I am ‘emotionally compromised’, but it’s better than the alternative.” 

“To defeat the gods, sacrifices will be necessary,” Solas said coldly. “I pray you are prepared for what that means.”

 

Rook woke with a start. They didn’t know if they’d forced themself awake or if Solas kicked them out, but it didn’t matter. They were angry. At Solas, of course, but also at themself. They got out of bed, trying not to disturb Emmrich, slipped on a pair of shoes, and left the room. They weren't in the mood to talk to anyone so they went through the portal that led up to Solas’s old office. Once on the balcony they started taking pins out of their hair but quickly became frustrated.

“Fasta vass,” Rook swore, giving up. They leaned forward onto the railing, putting their head in their hands. A moment later there was a touch on their shoulder and Emmrich began to gently remove the pins.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Rook said after a minute.

“Don’t worry about me, darling,” he said. “Are you all right?”

“Solas was being an even bigger asshole than usual.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rook hesitated.

“He’s concerned that I won’t be able to make the sacrifices necessary to defeat the gods,” they said carefully.

“I see.” Emmrich removed a pin that loosened most of Rook’s hair. “He means me.” Rook shook their head and their hair settled into its usual place.

“...Yeah.” Emmrich began to work through Rook’s curls, pulling out any stray pins that managed to hide themselves away.

“Do you agree with him?”

“I wouldn’t be so angry if I didn’t.”

“I think that’s all of them.” Emmrich placed a pile of pins on the balcony railing.

“Thanks.” Rook turned to look at him. “Emmrich…”

“If I may.” He put a hand on their cheek. “You said earlier this evening that we will win because we are not alone. Your relationships are what separate you from Solas. Don’t let him trick you into forgetting that, darling. You are not him.” Rook closed their eyes and took a deep breath.

“I know,” they said. “I let him get to me.”

“He knows how to manipulate you,” Emmrich said. “Not surprising, given his role as a trickster.”

“Usually I can deal with it,” Rook said, opening their eyes. “But last night was perfect and he ruined it.”

“Only if you let him.”

“Yeah,” they said. “Thanks.”

“Of course, darling,” Emmrich said. “I am always here for you, whatever you need.”

“I could use someone telling me that things will be okay.” Emmrich drew them close. Rook could hear his heartbeat as he held them.

“Everything will be fine,” Emmrich said. “You will figure this out. We slew an archdemon and two blighted dragons. You convinced Mythal to help us voluntarily. If anyone can find their way through this mess, it’s you, darling. I believe that fully.” Rook smiled. Solas was wrong. This was not a weakness. This was why they would win.

Notes:

We know that Solas is straight, but Rook doesn't. They also do the opposite of heteronormativity: they assume that everyone is queer unless told otherwise and then they give their condolences to the straight person: "I'm sorry, that must be so hard."

I understand why Trick Weekes made Solas straight in Inquisition (to avoid the negative tropes often associated with bi characters) but it is very funny given the revelations in Veilguard. Like he was a spirit with (presumably) no concept of gender but once he got a body he went "I'm only into woman" okay man whatever you say

Related, I posted a party banter over on Tumblr in which Taash is a bit confused about the elf/spirit revelation and Rook refuses to help Emmrich clarify. It might be my favourite fake banter so check it out if you haven't seen it already.

Chapter 17

“Okay, here you go.” Emmrich looked up as the door to his room opened. Davrin had Rook by the elbow, pulling them in.

“Ah, you’ve returned,” Emmrich said, standing.

“Did you know Assan can talk?” Rook said, sounding very excited.

“He can?” Emmrich asked, intrigued.

“Yes! And he likes me more than Davrin.” The Warden shook his head.

“That tea you made us has quite the effect.”

“Really?” Emmrich asked. “I tried it and didn’t notice anything.”

“I’m mostly feeling relaxed but it hit Rook pretty hard,” Davrin said. “It didn’t help that they insisted on having a second cup.”

“I didn’t want to waste it,” Rook said. “Oh! We should have given some to Assan!”

“Right, because a high griffon is just what we need,” Davrin said. “They’re your problem now, Emmrich. I’m going to lie down.” He left and Emmrich approached his partner who was a bit unsteady.

“Why don’t you sit down, darling,” he suggested, taking their arm and gently leading them to his armchair. “Would you like something to eat?”

“Yes,” Rook said. “I am so hungry.”

“I’ll have Manfred fetch something.” He left briefly to find his assistant and when he returned Rook was lying face up on the floor by the fire.

“Emm-rich,” they said as he sat next to them.

“Yes dearest?”

“Your name is hard to say.” 

“Is it?”

“It’s the mm-rich part. There should be another letter in there. Like… Emm-er-ich.”

“I’m not certain what I can do about that, darling,” he said, amused.

“You could change it.” Rook put their feet in his lap.

“Unlike you, I’m quite attached to my name,” he said. “I have no desire to alter even a single letter.”

“Fiiiiine,” Rook sighed. “Did you know I have a secret name?”

“Oh?”

“Yep. Even I don’t know what it is. I wonder if I would like it.” It was challenging to follow their line of thought, but Emmrich believed they were referring to their birth name.

“Do you ever think about your birth parents?” he asked.

“Sometimes,” Rook said. “All I know about them is that they were elves and that they’re probably dead.”

“It must be strange, not knowing where you come from.”

“Kind of, but I’m glad my dad found me. I love my family and I’m probably better off.” They nudged Emmrich with their foot. “He’s not going to like you.”

“Your father? Why not?”

“Peregrinus es, legata nostrae nocet.” They didn’t seem aware that they had switched to Tevene. “Fortasse mutatus est. Viginti anni praeterierunt. Ego mutatus sum.”

“You know I enjoy hearing you speak in other languages, darling, but if you wish a conversation you will have to use one that I fully understand,” Emmrich said.

“Quia benignus es.” Rook nudged him again. “You’re too tall.”

“Now that is something over which I have no control,” he said. “I thought you enjoyed the difference in our heights.”

“It’s nice when we’re cuddling, but it’s not fair that you can kiss me whenever you want but I can’t kiss you if we’re both standing.”

“You can always ask me to bend down, my dear.”

“But I don’t want to ask. I want to kiss you.”

“Perhaps if we come up with a non-verbal cue?” Emmrich suggested. “You could tap my upper arm twice and I’ll know to lower my head.” Rook considered this.

“It’s still not fair, but okay.” At that moment, Manfred returned with a tray and a bevy of wisps.

“Thank you Manfred,” Emmrich said as his assistant placed the tray on the floor next to them. The skeleton hissed and pointed at Rook. As they sat up, the wisps flocked to them.

“I think they like me,” Rook said, giggling as one danced around their head.

“With the way the etheric flows are snarled around you at present, I’m only surprised they didn’t find you sooner,” Emmrich said. Rook reached out a hand and one of the wisps settled on their palm. Emmrich smiled at the sight and took out his drawing journal. He started keeping it on him since he was often overcome with the desire to sketch his partner.

“I don’t think they’re going to stay still for you,” Rook said as the wisp on their palm bounced away.

“Will you?”

“Maybe.” Rook dragged the tray closer. “Thanks Manfred. I’m starving.” The skeleton hissed happily before following a wisp upstairs.

“You should have some water, dearest,” Emmrich said. “I wouldn’t want you to become dehydrated.”

“Aw.” Rook took a drink. “You worry about me.”

“Of course I worry,” Emmrich said. “You are under a great deal of pressure and you don’t take especially good care of yourself.”

“But you do,” they said. “I know you do stuff and don’t tell me. I haven’t run out of shampoo in ages.”

“It’s one less thing for you to think about.”

“Mm hm.” Rook lay back down and patted the floor next to them. “Come here.” Emmrich put his journal to the side and lay next to them, the wisps floating above like stars.

“Can you do that thing where you show me the Fade?” Rook asked.

“Certainly.” Emmrich took their hand and allowed his magic to flow into them. The currents of the Fade came into view, along with the spirits that were fainter than wisps. Rook smiled as they watched it swirl around the room, its light reflected in their eyes. They truly were the most magnificent thing Emmrich had ever seen.

“Is this what you see all the time?” Rook asked.

“Not always, but frequently,” he said. “Maintaining it requires effort that increases the longer it lasts.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” Emmrich agreed, his gaze never leaving their face.

“What does magic feel like?” Rook asked after a minute.

“Always an interesting question,” Emmrich said. “What do you feel now?”

“It’s warm, I guess?” They turned their head to look at him. “And when you heal me it’s cool, but in a nice way. Like when you step into a stream after walking a lot. But I mean what does it feel like to use?”

“There is a general prickling sensation as lyrium activates in the blood, but the rest differs depending on the kind of magic used,” Emmrich said. “The magic I use for necromancy is calmer than when I summon fire. With all this travel, I’ve noticed a change based on location as well. The Necropolis assists in ways I hadn’t considered. And being here, in the Fade itself! Magic comes much easier without the Veil. What the ancient elves must have been capable of! I don’t condone Solas’s plan, of course, but the idea of living in a world where magic flows freely… I can understand his desire to return to that.” There was a look of utter adoration on Rook’s face that took Emmrich’s breath away.

“I could listen to you talk like that forever,” they said and his chest warmed.

“Thank you darling,” he said. “Although I wouldn’t want to be the only one speaking. I would miss hearing your voice and your thoughts.”

“My current thoughts are that you’re cute and I’m tired.”

“The effect of the tea seems to be dissipating,” Emmrich said. “It will be interesting to see if there are any after effects.”

“Interesting to you, maybe,” Rook said. “It’s a good thing I have a partner who takes such good care of me.”

“You do,” Emmrich said. “Especially since your current state is somewhat my doing.”

“Mm hm.” Rook closed their eyes. “Getting up is too much work. I’m gonna sleep here.” Emmrich kissed their hand.

“Sleep well, darling.” He tidied up the tray and once the wisps started leaving carefully picked up his sleeping partner and carried them to his bedroom. He placed them on the bed, removed their boots, and covered them with a blanket. Rook stirred slightly but didn’t wake. Emmrich watched them for a moment before kissing their forehead. Whatever happened, he would take care of them, for as long as he was theirs.

Notes:

It is never not funny to me that Emmrich is the one who gets Rook high and that the tea has no effect on him. Maybe that's why the griffons like gingerwort so much, like when animals eat fermented fruit and get drunk.

When Rook's speaking Tevene (/Latin) they say:
"You are a foreigner, you harm our legacy."
"Perhaps he [their father] has changed. Twenty years have passed. I have changed."
"Because you are nice."

At least that's what it's supposed to mean, I cobbled it together using Google translate and the Latin wiktionary ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chapter 18

“Thank you Manfred.” Emmrich accepted the tea from his assistant who hissed inquisitively. “Yes, but stay within the limits of the camp.” The skeleton hissed happily and wandered over to some of the younger Veil Jumpers. Emmrich debated fetching a book from his tent but decided to sit with his thoughts instead. His gaze drifted to Rook, who was deep in conversation with Bellara and Irelin.

He still couldn’t quite believe that they were his partner. That this wondrous, brilliant, extraordinary person cared for him was astounding. He treasured every moment they spent together, no matter how small. Emmrich loved them, completely and utterly and while the words were often on his lips, he could not speak them.

It was cowardice, pure and simple. The one dim spot in their relationship was the prospect of his lichdom. They must have more questions, and yet in all their time together, all their meals and evenings by the fire, it never came up. Emmrich would raise it himself if he wasn’t terrified of what could come of it. While it was true that Rook chose to begin the relationship with the knowledge of what might come to pass, a hypothetical was different than a reality. He knew Rook wouldn’t ask him to give it up, even if that’s what they wanted, and he loved them for it. And yet, the question remained: How could someone so full of life continue a relationship with him when he was undead?

“Want some company?” Emmrich started from his reverie to find Strife. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t,” Emmrich said. “I was merely lost in thought. Company would be welcome.”

“I’d offer you something to drink but I see you’ve already got that covered,” Strife said as he took a seat. “It must be nice having someone to wait on you.”

“Manfred’s my assistant, not my servant,” Emmrich said indignantly. “He enjoys the process of making tea.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” Strife said. “I’m not too familiar with necromancy.”

“Not many people are,” Emmrich said. “Most of the people I’ve met outside of Nevarra have quite the wild ideas of what we do.”

“Much like the ideas people have of the Dalish,” Strife said.

“Precisely.” Emmrich sipped his tea.

“Bellara says you can talk to the dead,” Strife said. “I’ve never encountered magic like that before.”

“It’s a rare gift, even in Nevarra,” Emmrich said. “I imagine there are mages in other nations that possess it and never know.”

“It must be useful,” Strife said.

“Oh, it is,” Emmrich said. “Neve recently asked me to help with a murder. It was very exciting!” Strife chuckled.

“Not your usual wheelhouse, I take it?”

“I’ve assisted the city guard on occasion, but no,” Emmrich said. “My duties mostly kept me in the Grand Necropolis.”

“You certainly have the look of a city mage,” Strife said. “But I haven’t heard you complain about being out here.”

“There’s nothing to complain about,” Emmrich said. “My experience in Arlathan alone could fill a travelogue. I’m not sure my colleagues believe half of what I tell them of my travels.”

“What’s your favourite place you’ve visited?” Strife asked.

“It’s difficult to choose one,” Emmrich said as he pondered the question. “I know this won’t help your perception of me as a city mage, but I would have to say Minrathous. The way magic is woven into every aspect of life there is astounding, and its inhabitants treat it as ordinary. The number of times I’ve commented on the remarkable way an enchantment is applied only for Neve or Rook to dismiss it as mundane…” He shook his head.

“You get very excited about what you’re interested in,” Strife said. “It’s surprisingly charming.” Emmrich stared at the elf. Was he… flirting with him?

“Ah.” Emmrich cleared his throat. “That’s very-”

“Strife!” A Veil Jumper ran up. “We received a message from the vault. One of the artifacts is acting erratically.”

“Duty calls,” Strife said. “It was nice talking with you, Emmrich.”

“Yes. You as well.” Well. That was unexpected. Emmrich was flattered but also surprised, given how apparently unsubtle he and Rook were. He would clarify the issue with Strife in the morning. He finished his tea and decided to fetch his book after all. As he made his way through the camp, a familiar sensation crept up on him. He made it to the tent before the dread fully overtook him.

He was going to die. His pulse raced at the thought and he undid the top few buttons of his shirt, desperate for more air. There were any number of ways it might happen. Darkspawn, Venatori, Antaam… A stray arrow or stab from any of them and that would be it. It could be an accident, standing in the wrong place at the wrong time, crushed like his parents, or it could be intentional and drawn out. An excellent subject to test how long one could go back and forth between life and death. He told Rook it wouldn’t come to that, not wanting them to worry, but the idea of what Ghilan’nain might do to him was terrifying.

The tent was too small. There wasn’t enough air. Emmrich needed space. He pushed open the flap of the tent and found Rook.

“I was just coming to find you.” Their smile faded as they took in his no doubt haphazard appearance.

“I need air,” Emmrich said, unable to stop his voice from wavering.

“Okay.” Rook took his hand and led him away from the camp. They reached a semi-secluded clearing and sat on a large rock.

“Come here,” Rook said, wrapping their arms around Emmrich. He buried his face in their shoulder, clinging to them like a drowning man clung to a raft. Rook smelled of jasmine and ginger, a scent as warm as their smiles.

“It’s all right, Emmrich,” they murmured, one hand rubbing his back. “I’m here. You’re okay.” Everything Emmrich felt about them came bubbling up. He had to tell them before he died. I love you. You are the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. I love you. I will follow you anywhere. I love you. Don’t leave me. I love you. Marry me. I love you. The words stuck in his throat, a part of him knowing that he would regret expressing his love from a place of fear. Emmrich didn’t know how long they stayed as they were, Rook holding him and softly speaking affirmations, but eventually the vice in his chest lessened. He took a deep breath and sat up. Rook released him from their embrace, only to take his hands in theirs and squeeze.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m not sure what there is to say,” Emmrich said. “This isn’t the first time you’ve seen me like this.”

“No, but it was worse this time, wasn’t it?” Rook asked. 

“But not the worst,” he said. “After Weisshaupt… This time, at least, I had you. Thank you for being here, darling.”

“I’m glad I was.” Rook gently stroked his cheek. “I’m sorry I’m not around more.”

“You don’t have to apologize, dearest,” Emmrich said. “You do what you must in our fight against the gods. Once this is over, however, I hope to claim your full attention for myself.”

“I’m not sure anything has ever had my full attention, but if anyone can, it’s you,” they said. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Emmrich brushed a curl from their eyes. “Shall we return to camp? I am suddenly quite exhausted.”

“Not surprising,” they said. “Let’s go, then.” Rook stood and pulled Emmrich to his feet. They held hands as they made their way back to the Veil Jumper camp.

“What were you and Strife talking about?” Rook asked.

“He inquired about my corpse whispering and the places we visit,” Emmrich said. “I believe he was flirting with me.”

“Was he?” Rook raised their eyebrows. “What was your response?”

“He was called away before I had the chance to rebuff his flirtations.”

“I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed the way you look at me,” they said. “I guess it’ll be pretty obvious when we come out of the same tent tomorrow.”

“That will certainly clarify the situation,” Emmrich agreed. “I know you usually stay up after I fall asleep, but I would appreciate it if you remained with me tonight.”

“Of course.” They went through their respective evening routines and settled into the bedrolls. Rook was, unusually, on the outside of their embrace which given their height difference was not especially convenient.

“Are you comfortable?” Emmrich asked.

“Mm hm.” Rook kissed his shoulder. “Sleep well, Emmrich.”

“You as well, darling.” It took him longer than usual to fall asleep, but with Rook’s arms around him, he drifted off feeling safe and content.

Notes:

I've done a lot of Rook on the receiving end of care and decided Emmrich needed some of that too. I think Rook feels guilty that they're away so much and worries that the relationship is one-sided (Emmrich would disagree).

Things sure are going great when it comes to Lichdom! Definitely not a problem that neither of them want to talk about it!

Chapter 19

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Davrin asked. “No one here will judge you if you decide to back down. Much."

“I’d judge myself,” Rook said. Their friendly rivalry had finally come to its natural conclusion: a duel. After months of putting up with Davrin’s comments about the Shadow Dragons, Rook suggested he put his coin where his mouth was. Davrin escalated by insinuating that they couldn’t beat him in a fight without their “tricks” while Rook countered that he should stop hiding behind his shield and actually fight them. It was Taash who suggested they switch styles and that they make it a show. Isabela was delighted by the idea and promised to cut the winner in on the bets. It was all great in theory, but now that Rook was at the Hall of Valor in heavy armour, they were less certain of themself.

“How do you move anywhere in all this?” Rook asked, twisting to get a feel for the armour. They’d borrowed a set of Shadow Dragon plate from the Shop while Davrin was using old Warden leathers supplied by Holden.

“Too much for you?” Davrin asked.

“You wish.”

“I don’t get how you’re not injured more,” Davrin said. “This barely protects anything.”

“The key is to dodge,” Rook said. “I’m very good at not getting hit.”

“That’s about to change.”

“We’ll see.”

“Let’s hope some of the Lords like Grey Wardens because otherwise we aren’t going to make any money,” Neve said, regarding the list of wagers.

“Wait, did we all bet on Rook?” Harding asked.

“Nobody thinks I’m going to win?” Davrin demanded. “Taash!”

“Rook’s smarter than you,” they said with a shrug.

“This isn’t about smarts,” Davrin said.

“Of course it is,” Lucanis said. “You have to adapt to a different style of combat without practice. That is far more about intelligence and adaptability than strength.”

“Right!” Bellara agreed. “And Rook’s really good at both of those.”

“I appreciate the votes of confidence, but I’m not taking responsibility if you all lose money to Assan,” Rook said.

“All right, you’re up,” Isabela said. “We’re already making a killing, so drinks are on me no matter who wins. Go on and give us a show.”

“Please be careful, darling,” Emmrich said as Rook prepared to enter the arena. He did not approve of this in the slightest, a fact which he made known repeatedly. Fortunately for him, Rook found the concern more endearing than annoying.

“Did you bet on me?” Rook asked.

“Of course,” Emmrich said. “As did Manfred.” The skeleton hissed and clapped his hands.

“Now I have to win,” Rook said with a grin. “Do I get a good luck kiss?” Emmrich obliged.

“Please be careful,” he said.

“You said that already.”

“If I say it again, will you listen?”

“Look how much armour I have on!” Rook said, spreading their arms. “There’s no way I’ll get hurt in all this. Besides, I have a plan.”

“I expect nothing less,” Emmrich said. “Rook-”

“I’ll be fine,” they said. “Trust me.”

“Stop flirting with Emmrich and come on,” Davrin said. “There’s no point postponing the inevitable.” Rook winked at their partner before picking up the sword and shield.

“You mean your defeat?” they asked, joining Davrin.

“You can barely move.”

“Ah, but according to you I don’t need to,” Rook said. “Let’s go.” They stepped out into the arena to deafening cheers.

“Tonight, and tonight only, the Hall of Valor brings you a matchup of the ages,” Isabela said. “Grey Warden versus Shadow Dragon in a style swap bout… may we present… Davrin the Monster Hunter and Rook, Bane of the Venatori!” Rook hoisted their shield and took a fighting stance opposite Davrin. Their plan depended heavily on his lack of practice dodging. If they were wrong they would end up in a straight-up fight, and one Rook wasn’t sure they could win. No, it was best to end it quickly, before Davrin adapted to the lighter armour.

“Try not to cut yourself,” Rook said as Davrin drew his swords.

“Try not to drop the shield on your foot,” he retorted. “All right Rook, let’s dance.” Rook nodded. For a brief moment they could hear their childhood combat trainer’s voice, desperately trying to get them to hold a shield properly.

“Sorry, Mattrin,” Rook muttered before running at Davrin. They weren’t as fast as usual with the heavy plate on, but they moved better than they previously let on. Davrin was clearly caught off guard, just as Rook hoped. When they were close enough, they hurled the shield at him. As expected, Davrin braced himself, prepared to take the hit instead of getting out of the way. Rook saw him realize his mistake an instant before the shield hit him. The lighter armour wasn’t designed for the impact and Davrin lost his balance. Rook, who hadn’t stopped running, hit him with their shoulder, knocking him to the ground. Davrin groaned as the crowd erupted.

“Fenedhis, that hurt.”

“I warned you about dodging,” Rook said, pointing their sword at his throat. “So?”

“You win.” Rook smirked and sheathed their blade before helping their friend to his feet.

“And the winner is… Rook!” They waved to the crowd for a minute before following Davrin out of the arena. Rook grimaced slightly as they put the sword and shield away. Crashing into Davrin may have worked, but they were definitely going to feel it tomorrow.

“Ugh,” Davrin groaned. “I think I cracked a rib.”

“And that’s why I get out of the way,” Rook said.

“Yeah, yeah.” The door opened and Emmrich entered.

“The others are ordering drinks,” he said. “I assume you both need healing.”

“I’m fine,” Rook said. “Davrin, on the other hand…”

“Fuck off, Rook,” Davrin said. Emmrich shook his head and began to heal him. Rook began remvoing their armour, but now that the adrenaline was wearing off their shoulder was really starting to hurt.

“Thanks,” Davrin said. “For someone who mostly works with dead people, you’re a good healer.”

“The work does overlap,” Emmrich said. “Although I’ve used that particular set of skills more in the past six months than in the previous decade.”

“We do a lot of fighting,” Davrin said. “And with Rook constantly throwing themself into danger…”

“I don’t get hurt that much,” Rook said. “Because I know how to-”

“Dodge. I get it.” Davrin stretched. “I need a drink or three. See you at the Hilt.” Rook waited until he left before turning to their partner.

“So I may not have been entirely truthful when I said I’m fine.”

“I know, darling,” Emmrich said. “Let me see your shoulder.”

“I’m impressed you know what’s bothering me,” Rook said as he helped them out of the last of the armour.

“You did charge into Davrin at quite a speed,” Emmrich said. “And I do know your body intimately.” He placed a hand on their shoulder and a green light began to swirl around.

“I didn’t think it was my shoulder that you know intimately.” Rook sighed happily as Emmrich’s magic sunk into their skin, the pain replaced with a cool, soothing sensation.

“I know all of you,” he said. “The placement of your scars, the lines and curves of your torso, where you hold your tension… I memorized you and now I notice when something is wrong.”

“All of me?”

“I suppose I’m not in your head, but knowing your body allows me to discern your thoughts.” Emmrich released his magic but didn’t move his hand. “Facial expressions and body language reveal a great deal.”

“Is that so? Then what am I thinking now?” Emmrich’s gaze swept over their face before meeting theirs. Rook swallowed as their desire began to assert itself.

“You’re worried that I’m upset at you for injuring yourself,” he said.

“Are you?”

“No, dearest. How could I be upset at you for being you? I never had any doubt that you would win, but it was quite thrilling watching how you achieved it.”

“Was it now?” Rook tilted their head. “What else am I thinking?”

“I wonder.” Emmrich lowered his mouth to theirs and quickly drove all thoughts from Rook’s head.

 

---

 

“There’s our champion,” Isabela said as Rook and Emmrich entered the Hilt. “That was quite the show. I would have liked the fight to go on longer, but no one can say it wasn’t entertaining.”

“I do my best,” Rook said. Isabela tossed them a pouch of coin.

“Your cut of the profits,” she said. “And drinks are on me.”

“That’s almost worth more than the coin,” Rook said with a grin.

“I like you,” Isabela said. “If you ever get tired of fighting Venatori, you’d make a great Lord of Fortune.”

“I’ll think about it.” Rook and Emmrich made their way to the team, Rook getting congratulations from all sides.

“I guess you were more injured than you acted,” Davrin said.

“If you think that’s what was going on, you hit your head l worse than I thought,” Rook said, taking a seat. “Since you all won money on me, I expect a free meal.”

“We’re buying Davrin’s too,” Taash said. “Consolation prize.”

“I don’t need consoling,” Davrin said. “Rook did their trick because they know I’d win in a straight up fight.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself,” Neve said.

“We already ordered,” Harding said. “Armada Special with all the extras for you, greens with Orlesian dressing for Emmrich.”

“Here,” a familiar voice said, putting a tankard on the table in front of Rook. “Good to see you haven’t lost your touch.”

“Tarquin!” Rook grinned at their friend. “What are you doing here?”

“Gallus said you were defending the honour of the Shadow Dragons,” he said. “I had to make sure you didn’t let us down.”

“Victoria ad Imperium,” Rook said. “I’m insulted that you even considered that I would lose.”

“I didn’t,” Tarquin said. “I did want to see how you’d take him down. The shield throw was a nice touch.”

“Thanks.” Tarquin sat next to them.

“I thought I’d seen about everything in the Templars, but those Crossroads…” He shook his head. “Hard to believe you live there.”

“It’s definitely different,” Rook said. “You should visit.”

“Maybe if the Venatori ever settle down,” Tarquin said. “I heard they’re up to no good in Arlathan.”

“They’re planning on sacrificing a Dalish clan to the gods,” Rook said. “The Veil Jumpers are investigating, then we’ll stop them.”

“Venatori rituals,” Tarquin said. “At least you’re used to that.”

“I wish I wasn’t.” Dinner arrived and Rook realized that they were starving. They kept a few pieces of pineapple for themself then deposited the rest onto Emmrich’s salad. He smiled and kissed the side of their head before returning to his conversation with Bellara. Tarquin was smirking when they turned back.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said. “It’s nice seeing you happy, that’s all.”

“Ignoring the gods that are trying to end the world, I am,” Rook said.

“Have you told him about your dad?” Tarquin asked.

“Not like you mean,” Rook said. “Let’s survive the current crisis first.”

“Fair enough.”

“So Davrin, what lesson did you learn today?” Lucanis asked once everyone was finished eating.

“That I should practice dodging,” Davrin said.

“Come on Davrin,” Bellara said, already tipsy. “You have to say the line!” Davrin sighed.

“Never underestimate Rook.”

“The trick is remembering it,” Tarquin said. “I still get surprised.”

“What can I say, I’m good at what I do,” Rook said, spreading their arms.

“And what you do is… get underestimated?” Harding asked.

“Yep!” Rook stood. “More drinks?” Neve offered to help and they went to the bar to order. While they waited, Rook leaned against the bar and watched the team. It was nice to see everyone relaxed, despite everything, and yet…

“Something wrong?” Neve asked.

“I’m not sure,” Rook said. “This ritual that the Venatori are planning in Arlathan… The gods aren’t going to be happy if we manage to thwart them again. I have a feeling that things are going to intensify once we stop it. I’m glad we had this night, all of us together.”

“That almost sounds sentimental,” Neve teased.

“Don’t tell Tarquin,” Rook said as the bartender placed the last drink on the counter. “Come on, we should get back.” The two friends returned to the table. Rook checked in with everyone before planting themself in Emmrich’s lap. They pushed their vague feeling of unease to the back of their mind and focused on the present, happy to be among friends.

Notes:

I thought something a little more lighthearted was needed. Somewhat inspired by Davrin's combat remark "Not bad for a [Rook's faction]."

This does mean that the past like 13 chapters take place between Fire and Ice and Blood of Arlathan but to be fair there are a lot of companion/side quests and it's the point in the game where I do all the stuff in the Crossroads.

Chapter 20

Rook was in pain. It was in the tension of their shoulders, their tighter-than-usual smile, and the tapping of a finger on the side of their thigh as they listened to Strife. Emmrich scanned his partner’s body, looking for a sign of a wound. He couldn’t see any indication that they were favouring a leg or holding themselves differently than usual, but Rook was very good at hiding their discomfort. It was doubtful that anyone other than Emmrich would notice that there was something wrong. Strife and the other Dalish left and Rook sagged ever so slightly. Emmrich descended to the main floor of the library and approached his partner.

“Are you all right, darling?” he asked. “Are you injured?” Rook grimaced as he spoke.

“Nothing serious,” they said. “A few scrapes and bruises.”

“But you are in pain.”

“I had two gods yelling at each other inside my head,” they said. “I have the worst headache I’ve ever had in my entire life.”

“Ah.” Emmrich lowered his voice. “Yes, I imagine that would be uncomfortable.”

“Yeah.” Rook rubbed their forehead. “I’m going to lie down and hope it goes away before I have to talk to Solas.”

“I’ll fetch something to help with the pain,” Emmrich said. “Are you hungry?”

“I don’t know.” He kissed their forehead.

“Go lie down, dearest. I’ll bring you a tray.”

“Thanks.” Emmrich prepared a variety of items to help his partner: a light meal, tea, a cool cloth, water, and a tonic. He found Rook lying on the chaise in their room with their arm over their eyes.

“Are you awake?” he asked softly as he placed the tray on a table.

“Mm.”

“If you can sit up for a moment, I prepared a tonic for your headache.” Rook did as he asked, grimacing. As they were drinking, Emmrich sat next to them so when they lay down again, their head was in his lap. He placed the cool cloth on their eyes and Rook sighed.

“That’s nice.”

“May I heal you?”

“Mm hm.” Emmrich placed a hand on their shoulder and allowed his magic to flow over their body. Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t heal minor injuries, but given the stress Rook was under, relieving them of a bruise or two was the least he could do. Once that was done, he began to stroke their hair, knowing they found it relaxing.

“You’re going to put me to sleep,” Rook murmured.

“Should I stop?”

“No, but… stay with me?”

“Always,” Emmrich said. “Should I wake you once you’ve spoken with Solas?”

“Yes please.” A few minutes later, they were asleep and Emmrich removed the cloth from their eyes. The way Rook slept when they were with Solas was different than when they were truly resting. Their eyes were more active and there was tension in their body. After about half an hour, Emmrich felt them relax and knew that the conversation was over.

“Rook,” he said softly, taking one of their hands and squeezing.

“Mmmpf.”

“You did ask me to wake you, darling.” Their eyes fluttered open.

“You are a much more pleasant sight than Solas,” they said. “Knowing you’re with me almost makes talking with him bearable. How long was I asleep?”

“About half an hour,” Emmrich said. “Should I gather the others?”

“Nah, it can wait until tomorrow. I think we could all use some rest.”

“You more than anyone,” he said. “How is your head?”

“Better.” Rook sat up. “Oh, you brought dinner.”

“I did.” 

“You really are the best partner.” They kissed him before turning their attention to the meal.

“I was worried when you and the others were in Elgar’nan’s trap,” Emmrich said. “We didn’t know what happened, only that you vanished.”

“It was weird,” Rook said. “I’m not sure how to feel about Solas helping us.”

“Has it changed your opinion of him?” Emmrich asked.

“I’m grateful he stepped in, but I know we can’t trust him,” they said. “It’s not hard to see how he tricks people, though.”

“Whatever he has planned, I have every confidence that you will lead us through it.”

“Aw, thanks.” Rook offered Emmrich half of an orange, which he accepted. “What did Elgar’nan try to tempt you with?”

“He claimed he could revive the dead,” he said. “Not as undead, but as they were in life.”

“Do you think that’s true?” Emmrich looked at the fish swimming around the tank.

“No,” he said. “For a moment I almost believed it, but it is not possible to revive those who have passed on. Even if it were, I would never make that bargain.”

“I know,” Rook said, putting a hand on his. “It would violate our ‘no turning evil’ policy, for one thing, but you’re also too good a person to side with Elgar’nan.” Emmrich smiled at them.

“Thank you, darling,” he said. “May I ask what he tempted you with?” Rook rolled their eyes.

“Some nonsense about elven glory,” they said. “He may have been in my head, but I don’t think he looked very hard. I’m not elfy enough for that to be even slightly tempting.”

“Is there something that could have tempted you?”

“I don’t think so,” Rook said after a moment of consideration. “I don’t want the same Tevinter the Venatori do and I already have you. The only thing I can think of is getting Solas out of my head, but I definitely wouldn’t trust Elgar’nan with that. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t come up with anything better than elf stuff.” They finished the meal and put a hand on the tea pot.

“It’s cold.”

“I’ll ask Manfred to prepare a new pot,” Emmrich said. “I need to eat as well.”

“Let’s go to your room, then.” Rook stood and offered a hand. “Thanks for taking care of me. Again.” Emmrich took their hand and allowed them to help him up.

“Always, darling,” he said. “Whatever comes, you do not have to face it alone.”

“I know,” Rook said. “And neither do you. Hopefully we’ll figure out what Hezenkoss is up to soon. I know you worry about it.”

“I have no doubt that we can stop her, but I do hope that we might be able to help her see reason.”

“I’m not so sure about that, but you know her best,” Rook said. “Whatever she’s up to, we’ll deal with it. Together.”

“Together.”

Notes:

Sorry this is late, I was away and then I accidentally got back into Stellaris which was a mistake. If you haven't played it, don't. It's a "I'll just play an hour and then you look up and it's been three" game.

I'm hoping to have the rest of this done and posted by the end of September. I only have one chapter left to write but it's a long one.

As always thanks for reading! We're going to get into some really good stuff in the coming chapters, please look forward to it!

Chapter 21

“Emmrich.”

“Hello Neve,” he said as she approached the dining table. “Do you need something?”

“Me? No,” the detective said. “ You need to talk to Rook.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know,” Neve said. “They said they ‘can’t tell me,’ so I’m guessing it’s whatever happened with Fred.”

“With Manfred?”

“With his revival,” Neve said. “There was something more than just a ritual, wasn’t there?”

“Ah.” Emmrich put down his fork. “Yes. Bringing him back had a cost, of a sort.”

“There’s always a catch,” Neve said. “Whatever it was… Rook’s having a hard time.”

“I see,” he said. “I’ll talk to them. Thank you, Neve.”

“Sure.” Emmrich found his partner sitting on one of the floating platforms on the periphery of the Lighthouse, tossing rocks out into the Fade.

“Those will end up somewhere eventually,” he said.

“If I’m lucky, one will hit Solas.” Emmrich sat next to them.

“Darling, we need to talk.”

“Sure,” Rook said. “What about?”

“Why you’re up here throwing rocks.”

“Do I need a reason?”

“No, but you have one.” Rook put down the stone they were holding but didn’t respond. “Please don’t put my decision on yourself, dearest. I know you feel responsible for my loss of the opportunity to become a lich, but it was my choice.”

“Was it?” Rook asked softly. “You did what I said.”

“I asked for your advice, yes, but that does not mean you made the decision for me. I chose to bring Manfred back. While it does mean confronting my own mortality, how can I regret it? He’s become so much more than I imagined.”

“But…” Rook hesitated. “My advice wasn’t exactly selfless. Not that I didn’t support you becoming a lich, of course I did, but it would’ve made things harder and I…” They trailed off. Emmrich had never seen them so conflicted.

“Yes?” He prompted gently.

“When you agreed to bring Manfred back, when you gave up lichdom, your dream… I was relieved.” Rook wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Whenever I thought about what it would actually be like if you became a lich, I couldn’t imagine it. No matter how much I told myself that it would still be you, that the changes wouldn’t matter… all I could think about was what I would lose. I let my anxieties over what lichdom might mean for our relationship outweigh what’s best for you.” Emmrich put a hand on theirs.

“You are far too hard on yourself.”

“Why aren’t you angry with me?” Rook asked quietly.

“Oh, Rook, my darling.” He squeezed their hand. “Lichdom is- was a vast change. It’s natural you had doubts. How can I be angry with you for that?”

“You should be.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“I couldn’t do that,” they said. “It wouldn’t have been fair to you. I couldn’t just waltz into your life and ask you to give up your dream.”

“And if Johanna hadn’t hurt Manfred?” Emmrich asked. “If that choice never occurred and I attempted the rite, would you have continued our relationship?” He was asking both to assuage Rook’s guilt but also for himself.

“Of course,” they said. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Then you have nothing to feel guilty about,” he said. “I suspect that our relationship was far from the only thing on your mind. I know how much you care for Manfred. His loss was difficult for you too.”

“I was only half-joking when I called him our son,” Rook said. “He’s important to me.”

“He cares for you too, Rook,” Emmrich said. “More than you know, I think. In any case, my original point still stands. It was my decision. It was difficult, and I would be lying to say I have no regrets, but they are less each day. I would make the same choice again.”

“Really?”

“In an instant,” Emmrich said. “Giving up lichdom allows me the opportunity to reflect on how I want to live, rather than focusing on what happens… after.”

“You know you can always talk to me, right?” Rook said. “You don’t have to bear it alone.”

“I know,” he said. “You are always a comfort darling.”

“Good.” Rook squeezed his hand. “I’m glad we talked about this.”

“As am I,” he said. “I’m only sorry we didn’t do so sooner. I should have realized you would put this on yourself.”

“No, I should have told you it was bothering me.” Rook was lighter than before and as they leaned into him Emmrich was overcome with how much he loved them. Now that his worries over lichdom were resolved, there was no reason not to tell them. He opened his mouth, but before he could speak Rook picked up one of the remaining rocks.

 “If I hit Hezenkoss with one of these, would she feel it?”

“Please don’t throw rocks in my room, dearest,” Emmrich said, recognizing that the moment had passed. “There is a great deal of delicate equipment. But to answer your question, yes, although not to the same degree as you or I.”

“It would still annoy her though.”

“Darling, please,” he said, amused.

“Okay, okay.” Rook dropped the remaining rocks off the edge. “There.”

“HEY!” Taash waved at them from the courtyard. “LUCANIS SAYS DINNER’S READY.”

“Guess we should go,” Rook said. They stood and offered a hand, which Emmrich accepted. They left the platform together, ready to face whatever the world could throw at them.

Notes:

Writing this was a bit mind-bending from a meta perspective because obviously as the player you make the Manfred/Lich choice but in-universe Emmrich is his own person. I tend to think that without Rook Emmrich would pursue Lichdom over reviving Manfred which adds an extra layer to this, especially since if you choose the positive dialogue choice he thanks Rook for convincing him. if I think too hard about all the weird meta-layers my head hurts so we’ll move on.

I was at a family wedding last weekend and then got so inspired about Rook and Emmrich's wedding that I wrote a whole bunch of ideas for that and then only realized this morning that I hadn't posted a chapter this week, whoops! The wedding's going to be great but there's a lot of stuff to get through before then.

Chapter 22

“Emmrich?” Rook looked around the necromancer’s room.

“I’m up here,” his voice said from above. “I’ll be down in a minute darling, I have to finish re-shelving these books.” Rook smiled and hopped up on his desk. A wisp appeared and bobbed around them for a moment before flying off to somewhere. Neve’s tower, probably.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Emmrich said as he descended the stairs.

“Wisps rearrange your books again?”

“I know they’re trying to be helpful but it is quite inconvenient.” Emmrich reached the desk and gave Rook a kiss. “You’re looking very handsome today, my dear.”

“Why thank you,” Rook said with a smile. “You’re looking quite dapper yourself.”

“Get a room,” a voice from behind the desk said.

“We have a room,” Rook said to Hezenkoss’s skull. “It’s not our fault you’re here.”

“I can’t believe I’m stuck here having to answer inane questions and listen to the two of you ogle each other,” Hezenkoss said.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have tried to make a giant soul-sucking skeleton monster,” Rook said.

“Bah.”

“We seem to have become sidetracked,” Emmrich said. “Did you need me for something?”

“Do I need a reason to come see my favourite necromancer?” Rook asked, now doing it on purpose.

“Of course not, darling,” Emmrich said with a smile.

“This is nauseating,” Hezenkoss complained.

“I’m going to deal with that haunting in Minrathous,” Rook said, ignoring the skull. “I figured you’d want to help.”

“Certainly,” Emmrich said. “Give me a few minutes to prepare.”

“Neve’s coming too,” Rook said, sliding off the desk. “I have to talk to Maevaris about something, so I’ll meet you at the Shop.”

“Of course.” Rook kissed Emmrich before heading for the eluvian.

“Rook,” Maevaris said with a smile. “You got my note?” Rook still couldn’t quite believe that Maevaris Tilani not only knew who they were but considered them a friend. She had been Rook’s idol for years.

“I did,” Rook said. “What’s up?”
“I’m sending messages to the military leaders in Ventus,” Maevaris said. “If you have something you want to pass on, I’m happy to include it.”

“Do you know what’s going on?” Rook asked. “I haven’t heard anything since all this started.”

“As far as I know, your father and brother are still alive,” Maevaris said. “I’m reaching out to both of them.”

“Julius I understand, but my dad?” Rook asked skeptically.

“He’s always been progressive, for the military,” Maevaris said. “From what I gather, he’s become even more so in the past five years.”

“If you say so,” Rook said. “I should let them know I’m alive. I’ll send a letter.”

“Of course,” Maevaris said. “The messenger is leaving on Wednesday.”

“I’ll do it now,” Rook said. “I have to wait for the others to get here anyways.” They wrote two letters, a short one to their father and a longer one to Julius. They didn’t explain exactly what they were doing and they didn’t mention Emmrich. Both of those things seemed better to discuss in-person.

“Here,” Rook said, handing over the letters. “Thanks for this.”

“Of course,” Maevaris said. “There is something else.”

“What is it?”

“Did you know that Emmrich has been coming with Taash to learn about gender?” Maevaris asked.

“What?”

“He’s been by a few times,” Maevaris said. “He always has thoughtful questions.”

“He didn’t tell me,” Rook said.

“I know,” Maevaris said. “He asked us not to. I honoured that at first, but given how serious the two of you seem to be about each other, I thought you should know.”

“Yeah…”

“Your personal life is none of my business,” Maevaris said. “But someone who cares this much is rare. Treasure it, Rook. You never know what might happen.” At that moment, Neve and Emmrich arrived through the eluvian.

“I will. Thanks, Maevaris.”

“You’re very welcome.”

 

---

 

“Well, that was weird,” Neve said.

“The other candlehops did say there was one of them that ‘got away’,” Rook said.

“Fascinating,” Emmrich said. “I wonder what drew the spirit to it. Do you think they would mind if I took this one to study?”

“Knock yourself out,” Neve said. “They’ll probably appreciate it being taken away. Let me know if you learn anything.”

“Of course.” Emmrich knelt down and began to examine the now still candlehop.

“I have to go check in with Rana,” Neve said. “I’ll see you back at the Lighthouse.”

“See you,” Rook said. Apparently satisfied with whatever it was he was looking for, Emmrich picked up the candlehop and put it away.

“Is there anything else you need to do while we’re here?” he asked.

“No,” Rook said. “But I wouldn’t mind staying for a bit. Come for a walk with me?”

“Certainly.” They returned to street level and began to wander. Rook had an eventual destination in mind, but they wanted to spend time in the city first.

“You’re always more relaxed here,” Emmrich observed. “You must have missed the city when you were forced out.”

“Yeah,” Rook said. “I didn’t realize how much until I came back. Minrathous is messy, but it’s home.”

“What do you miss the most?”

“The people,” Rook said. “The Shadows are my family. Besides that… the sound. The Lighthouse is so quiet. It’s hard to fall asleep.”

“You find it too quiet to sleep?” Emmrich asked.

“I guess that’s hard to understand for someone who doesn’t live in a city,” Rook said. “There’s always something going on here. If it’s quiet, it means something’s wrong. When I first got to the Lighthouse, I kept waking up convinced something terrible was happening.” They reached their destination, a small green space on a roof overlooking the sea.

“This is lovely,” Emmrich said.

“When this is all over, I’ll take you to the public gardens,” Rook said. “There’s plants from all over the Imperium.”

“I would like that.”

“So Maevaris told me something interesting,” Rook said, leaning sideways on the railing so they could look at their partner.

“Oh?”

“She said you’ve been going with Taash to talk about gender stuff.” Emmrich looked taken aback.

“Ah.” He clasped his hands together. “Yes, I have. It didn’t seem fair to ask you to teach me, especially given that you’ve been helping Taash.”

“You didn’t tell me.” It was a question, not an accusation.

 “I didn’t want it to seem like I was expecting praise for doing something so basic,” Emmrich said. “It’s not as if I have no experience with non-binary people. There are a number amongst the Mourn Watch, but being in a relationship is different than a passing acquaintance.”

“I appreciate it,” Rook said. “You’ve been really good at asking questions that are specific to me. That’s unusual.”

“Really?” Emmrich seemed surprised. “But surely your experience is the only one that matters.”

“Not everyone thinks that way,” Rook said. “Some people have surprisingly narrow views of what being non-binary means. Which reminds me, I wanted to thank you for calling me handsome earlier.”

“You did say that you like to be referred to by a variety of terms in relation to your physical appearance.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t always happen,” Rook said. “Like I said, people are weird sometimes.”

“But…” Emmrich seemed to be struggling with what Rook was saying. “If you told someone that’s what you wanted, why wouldn’t they do it?”

“I don’t know,” Rook said. “But they don’t always. I’ve ended a few relationships because of it, including my last serious one. It turned out he thought I was doing my gender wrong and that he could ‘fix me’.”

“Fix you?” Emmrich demanded, outraged. “As if there’s something wrong with you? Why would anyone- That’s heinous.” Rook felt like they were going to melt. What had they ever done to deserve him?

“It wasn’t great,” they said. “I gave up on relationships after that. Turns out I hadn’t found the right person.”

“You give me far too much credit, darling.”

“No,” Rook said, straightening up. “Emmrich, you are amazing. You went and educated yourself without looking for approval. You ask personal questions, listen to what I say, and follow through. You’re going to say all of that is basic courtesy, but what I’m saying is that it’s a lot rarer than you think. I have never felt safer with or more supported by a partner than I do with you.” Emmrich was at a loss for words.

“Beyond that, you’re compassionate,” Rook continued. “You’re an excellent listener. You get so excited when you get to talk about something that’s interesting to you. You make it easy to ask questions on everything, from necromancy to the Chantry, but you also admit when you don’t know something. You’re handsome and attentive and… I’m rambling.”

“This is all very flattering,” Emmrich said. “But-”

“I love you.” For the second time in a matter of minutes, Emmrich was speechless. “That’s what I’m trying to say. I love you, Emmrich.”

“Rook, I…” Emmrich composed himself. “I don’t wish to compete with everything you just said, so I will save my own speech for another time. For now, just know that I love you too.” Rook felt like they were going to explode with happiness. Emmrich kissed them, a long, lingering kiss that Rook never wanted to end.

“I’m holding you to that speech,” Rook murmured when they broke apart.

“Anything for you, my love,” Emmrich said, caressing their face.

“That’s a new one.”

“Is it too much?”

“No,” Rook said. “The opposite.” Emmrich beamed at them, radiating adoration.

“Good.”

“I feel bad that you have all these names for me and I just call you Emmrich.”

“I don’t mind,” he said. “Everyone expresses affection in their own way.”

“Still… How do you feel about amatus?”

“I certainly won’t complain if you wish to call me your beloved.”

“Well then, amatus,” Rook said. “Ready to go home?” Emmrich kissed them again.

“I am.”

Notes:

Today is my 12th Dragon Age-iversary! It's hard to overstate what an impact the series has had on me. I didn't plan it, but it seems appropriate that it's this chapter I posted today. Expressions of love all around!

Notes:

The title is from the Coldplay song feelslikeimfallinginlove

Follow me on Tumblr for things like Rook not understanding the Chantry calendar, sex ed in the Lighthouse, and party banter. A lot of the banter I wrote references scenes from this work, so I’ll be posting those alongside updates here.