Chapter Text
Life was moving far too fast. Jisung felt as though he was sitting on the sidelines, watching on as his peers flowed through all the typical stages of young adulthood. Perhaps the wave had yet to sweep him up alongside them. In any case, Jisung was firmly stuck in the sand.
“So…Whatcha guys up to tonight?” Bangchan asked in a somewhat non-committal tone, his gaze fixed towards his phone.
Jisung, the upper half of his body slung across the table, eyed his friend’s typing fingers. He questioned listlessly, “Why even ask when you already know?” The bustling sounds of the dining hall had long since taken a toll on his nerves, and so Jisung’s mood was noticeably sour. His lips were drawn into a pout as he finally answered, “...I’m gonna sleep.”
Bangchan, having known him for nearly a decade, wasn’t taken aback at all by his biting words. He finally looked up from his phone, as if to showcase his dimpled smile, “A guy from class invited me to this party…I would invite you but-”
“No thanks.”
“Exactly.”
A uniquely grating voice came out from the other end of the table, “But what about me?” Changbin straightened up in his seat, crossing his bulging arms in front of his chest, “Invite me!”
Jisung didn’t even lift his head as he chimed in, “You’re basically inviting yourself.”
Before Changbin could retort, Bangchan kindly assured his friend, “You beat me to it, Binnie. Did you want to come?”
“...Is there food involved?”
“Of course!” There was a hearty laugh mixed in with his words, “And alcohol too!”
A vivid image of a typical college party was painted in Jisung’s mind; Loud noises, hot bodies packed like sardines, the overwhelming smell of booze and smoke, and perhaps worst of all, the aspect of socializing with a bunch of strangers. He didn’t even have to go to already know that he would not fit in, much less enjoy himself in such an environment. Even if Jisung did manage to drag his tired body along, he would just end up following his poor friends around like a lost puppy the entire time.
A peaceful slumber in his comfy bed, all by his lonesome in a dorm void of his nagging roommates. Now that was a scenario Jisung didn’t mind imagining.
Changbin, on the other hand, would mix in perfectly well. He was already a gym bro, along with Bangchan. Jisung was sure that they would have no troubles in making small talk about sports or girls or any of the other things that college-aged boys seemed to like.
Later that day, before Bangchan and Changbin left to go, they both turned towards Jisung, who stood at their dorm’s entry way to send them off. He had already slipped out of his day clothes and into his pajamas.
Feeling noticeably better since arriving home, Jisung waved them off with a heart-shaped smile, “Have fun out there, make lots of new friends.”
There was a wrinkle between Bangchan’s brows as he needlessly double-checked with him, “Are you sure you’re fine with not coming?” After a moment of thought he answered his own question, speaking under his breath, “I mean, I know you are…but I still feel bad.”
Changbin simply scoffed, urging Bangchan out of the doorway, “Of course he’s fine, look at that smug lil face of his!”
Jisung chuckled softly, reaching out to shut the door as he spoke, “I’m more than fine, I’m about to have the best sleep of my life!”
As soon as the two of them left, Jisung skipped back down the hall. His cheery footsteps echoed throughout the empty house, but unlike most people, Jisung was comforted by the sound. The outside world was far too noisy and overwhelming. At the end of every day, he wanted nothing more than to escape from it all.
Another bonus was that he was able to help himself to anything in the fridge and pantry without worrying about the prying eyes of his roommates. As if storing for hibernation, Jisung grabbed all the snacks and drinks that his heart desired before scurrying off to his room.
After binging a few episodes of anime and filling up his tummy, Jisung dozed off with no regrets.
Ring, ring, ring .
The loud ringtone continued on for a while.
Ring, ring, ring.
It kept ringing in a loop before the persistent sound finally woke Jisung up from his deep sleep. His eyes were still half-way shut, reaching out for his phone in the dark.
There was a displeased expression on his face as he picked up his phone, tone just as unpleasant, “What the hell is it?”
“Uh…Hello?”
Jisung snapped out of his fatigue in an instant, realizing with a start that the voice was unfamiliar. He immediately checked the contact name of whoever was calling, before questioning sheepishly “...Bangchan?”
He already knew it wasn’t Bangchan’s voice, but the stranger was undoubtedly calling from his phone.
“You’re Bangchan’s roomate, right?” The stranger inquired, not seeming to be put off by Jisung’s prior outrage, “Sorry for waking you up but…” There was a break in his words, and the muffled sound of music and chatter could be heard, “Him and Changbin got a little too drunk.”
“Oh,” Jisung wasn’t too concerned since they were both seasoned drinkers, but he asked anyway, “Are they alright?”
“Yeah, they’re fine,” The stranger responded, his voice light, “But I have my own plastered friends to deal with…is there any way you could come get them?”
Although not ecstatic at the idea, Jisung readily agreed and hung up the phone. With a big stretch, he rolled out of bed. The stranger had promised to stay with his friends until Jisung arrived. Not wanting to burden the kind samaritan any more than that, he hurried to leave the dorm. He didn’t even change out of his pajamas, only throwing on a jacket before heading out.
The brisk midnight air hit his cheeks as he navigated the campus. Jisung stuffed his hands into his pockets and shielded the lower half of his face with the collar of his jacket. He could only imagine just how messy his hair was, from both his slumber and the tousling of the wind. And to make matters worse, he was actively heading towards the dreaded college party that he wanted nothing more than to remain far away from. He could already hear the distant rumbling of loud, bass-heavy music. It seemed that the party was far from over for the rest of the attendees.
The petty side of Jisung thought that Bangchan and Changbin truly owed him for this heroic act.
And so, that is exactly how Jisung showed up at the front of the house party, bundled up in his jacket with a pair of fluffy pajama bottoms, long wavy hair going every which way and his cheeks tinted red from the wind.
There were people everywhere he looked, both outside and through the house windows. Jisung felt pity for whichever unfortunate soul decided to host a college party in their own home. Even the streets were full of people, whether they were just arriving or leaving.
Jisung struggled with the crowd, his feet unsteadily bringing him to the porch. He tried his best to ignore the stares of a couple that talked amongst themselves at a bench near the front door. After eyeing the door for a moment, Jisung made the executive decision to just call Bangchan’s number back instead of going inside. Not only did he simply not want to, but he also assumed that it would be a lot harder to try to find them in such a packed area.
“Hello?” The stranger responded quickly.
Jisung spoke quietly, urging his nerves away, “Uh, I’m here…Can you bring them out?”
“Oh, you can just come in, the front door is unlocked.”
No way in hell.
Reminding himself to speak nicely, Jisung could only plead, “ Please? I…” He looked down at himself, offering a pathetic but somewhat truthful reason, “I don’t want to go inside in my pajamas.”
Upon hearing his own words, Jisung inwardly cringed. There had to have been a much cooler way of explaining things.
There was a pause, in which Jisung felt his cheeks heating up, before a surprised laugh sounded out from the phone’s speaker.
“...Gotcha,” The stranger replied once he was able to pull himself together, amusement still audible in his voice, “No worries, I’ll bring them out to you.”
A few minutes passed by. Jisung tapped his foot restlessly, the time dragging on particularly slow. He stood quietly on the other side of the porch, in case any other partygoers were to arrive. Much like how he usually dealt with the bustling of public life, he began to zone out. It was as if another being took a hold of his body, and his brain was far away from the present. Even the judging stares of the couple nearby were left unnoticed.
Jisung snapped out of it with a start as the front door swung open.
“Ji~sung~ie~!”
It was quite possibly the only time that Jisung ever felt reassured by the sight of a drunk Bangchan barreling towards him with his arms outstretched. His older friend slumped into his arms, body far too heavy to be trusting Jisung’s strength. Changbin followed after him, a bright red flush apparent on his face. He nearly tripped over his own feet as he came out, his words slurred as he complained, “Why were you sho shlow?”
Jisung held himself back from expressing his own frustrations, as his attention was drawn towards the person who had ushered them out of the door. The kind-hearted stranger had a particularly striking face, with high cheekbones and a sharp nose. The shadows that casted upon it only further complimented his features.
“Ah, you’re Jisung?” He looked at him from head to toe, taking his time to scan his entire being. Jisung nearly shivered under the intense gaze. There was a moment of heavy silence between them before the other broke it with another laugh, “I actually like the outfit.” There was a hint of teasing in his voice.
Jisung followed his gaze down to his pants, fluffy and pastel with hamsters all over them. It had been a gift from Bangchan, who always likened him to all sorts of small, chubby-cheeked creatures. And although he had begrudgingly accepted them, Jisung found these particular pajama bottoms to be a lot comfier than the sweatpants he would usually wear to bed.
“I’m Minho, by the way. Your roommates told me all about you.”
“...Thanks,” Jisung managed awkwardly, preferring not to think about all the things that they could’ve possibly said about him, “Nice to meet you.” He motioned towards the two drunkards, keeping his words brief, “I’ll take them home, thanks for the help.”
A tight, but polite smile was drawn across Jisung's face. Not that he ever really was, but he was not in any state of mind to exchange pleasantries with an intimidatingly handsome man. Especially not when he was wearing fluffy hamster pants. All he wanted to do was to hurry back home and curl up into bed.
Minho didn’t appear to be fazed by his standoffish attitude, nodding thoughtfully, “No problem,” He sent a pointed stare towards the rowdy Changbin, who had already started stumbling away, “That one’s a runner, so good luck with that.”
Jisung whipped his head around and glared towards his friend’s escaping figure, letting out a panicked shout, “Get out of the road, dummy!” Also struggling with Bangchan, who still clung to his body, Jisung was far too preoccupied with it all to offer Minho a goodbye before he stepped off the porch after Changbin.
It took the three of them nearly 20 minutes to make the same 5 minute trek back to their dorm. Whether it was from being weighed down by the large octopus Bangchan, or distracted by a wandering Changbin who insisted on exploring every inch of the campus, Jisung's pace was slowed down by it all. As he finally stepped into the dorm, he let out a well-earned sigh and mumbled a few choice words towards his troublesome roommates under his breath.
Bangchan, finally letting him go, giggled his way to the bathroom before a few audible heaves sounded out from behind the door.
“Grossh,” Changbin noted with a grimace, flinging his shoes off haphazardly at the entrance.
Jisung had already resigned to his role as caregiver and silently placed his shoes on the rack, along with his own. He retrieved a couple water bottles from the fridge and handed one to Changbin, who was already stretched out across the couch. He seemed to have finally gotten tired from all his running, fortunately.
Once assured that Changbin had really settled down, Jisung hurried towards the bathroom door. He knocked, “Are you alright in there?”
He was responded to by another round of gagging, and then a flush of the toilet.
“...Do you need me to hold back your hair or anything?” Jisung joked. Bangchan’s hair was too short for that.
Not quite catching the irony, Bangchan groaned, his voice raspy from all the retching, “No, I’m okay…love ya…”
Once things had finally quieted down and the two had fallen asleep – Bangchan in his own bed and Changbin on the couch because he insisted for some reason – Jisung checked on them one more time before heading off to his room.
As soon as his head hit the pillow, Jisung’s tired mind shut off.
•
Despite not even being the one to have drank the previous night, Jisung felt as though he was hungover the next morning. He had a gnawing headache that rendered him limp on his bed, tossing and turning as he willed it away. When that didn’t help, he eventually dragged his sorry limbs out from under the comforter and stumbled into the bathroom.
“ Hey! I’m pissing in here!”
Jisung’s eyes squinted sleepily, his vision blurry. Thank god for that, lest he would have witnessed Changbin in all of his glory.
“Why the hell did you leave the door open?!” He pointed out as he spun around to leave the bathroom in haste, making sure to shut the door behind him.
Changbin’s voice was piercing enough to penetrate the walls, not quite answering his question as he yelled back, “My head hurts!”
Jisung muttered to himself, “Mine too.”
Perhaps because he had puked it all away last night, Bangchan was in a much better state. There was the sound of a sizzling pan and the delectable scent of a home cooked meal coming from the kitchen. Jisung sat at the counter, head held within his hands. He mumbled a faint good morning greeting to Bangchan, who was cooking merrily at the stove.
“You good?” Bangchan questioned, amusement apparent on his face, “Did you get drunk all by yourself last night?”
His joke was met with silence. It was a tough crowd of one.
With only one grim glance from Jisung, Bangchan folded before he could even say anything, “I know, I know – I’m sorry that we disturbed your peace…and thank you.”
Jisung waved a hand in the air, trying his best to fight through his morning grumpiness, “It’s okay, I’m just glad you guys didn’t die or anything.”
“How sweet.”
A cup of coffee was placed in front of Jisung, an offering of sorts.
“I made it for you,” Bangchan said with a well-meaning smile.
It was always hard to stay mad at his good friend, and the coffee only made it impossible. Jisung accepted the offering graciously, his mood brightening up as he finished the cup.
“Oh yeah,” He recalled the previous night, brain finally catching up with it all, “I met someone named Minho…?”
Bangchan was sitting next to him at the counter, happily chowing down on the meal in front of him. He paused at Jisung words, nodding along with them, “Yeah, he’s the one that invited me to the party. Nice guy,” After a moment's pause he added, “A little weird, but nice.”
Jisung eyed him suspiciously, “He said you guys told him all about me…?” He even made sure to use the same strange emphasis that Minho had.
“ Cough- ” Bangchan was mid chewing as he choked on his food. His expression looked a lot like a guilty puppy as he stuttered, “Uh, y-yeah…I think you came up at some point? I’m not really sure-”
“Bro.”
“Listen…it’s hard to explain-”
“Minho was the one that asked about you initially, to be fair,” The two of them turned towards Changbin, who was seemingly eavesdropping on the conversation before he had interrupted.
Jisung’s brow furrowed at his words, searching his memory to see if he had ever met Minho before.
“Ah,” Bangchan seemed to notice his confusion, “I had mentioned you in passing before, so that’s probably why he brought you up.”
Changbin, however, was keen on creating even more confusion. His tone was mischievous as he added, “Minho just feels bad for our ‘shy little roommate’! ”
Bangchan threatened to hit Changbin. Though some choice words were left unsaid, they were apparent in his face.
Jisung took note of the unspoken words behind his expression, suspicions only growing, “...Did you really refer to me as your shy little roommate?”
“No!” Bangchan was quick to defend himself, easily throwing another person under the bus, “That’s what Minho called you! I only ever mentioned that I had two roommates, so when he invited me he said that I could bring you both along…” He nodded towards Changbin, “Obviously, I only brought Changbin, so when we were at the party, he asked where my other roommate was.”
Changbin happily filled in the gaps to the story, “And you know how Bangchan gets when he’s drunk, all lovey-dovey and gross, so he kept gushing on and on about you. I’m just glad it wasn’t about me this time-” His words were cut off by a glare from Bangchan, so he half-heartedly apologized, “Sorry, man. Just being real.”
Jisung’s face was already concealed in his hands, cheeks red as he mumbled into them, “Uhg, you’re like an embarrassing dad…”
Bangchan patted him on the back, “I know, my bad. If it makes you feel any better, Minho found it funny. He was only playing along with me when he called you that.”
“...How in the world would that make it any better?”
“Well,” Bangchan thought for a second, “I think you two could be friends. He laughed at all the stories about you. I basically already broke the ice for you.”
Jisung sank lower and lower into his chair, as if hoping it would swallow him up into a deep, dark hole to hide in. For his own sanity, he resolved not to ask about what stories Bangchan had relayed to a stranger.
“I told you guys to make your own friends…” Jisung sighed out wearily, “Not to find me friends.”
Changbin was sifting through the fridge as he assured him from afar, “We did make friends. Lots of interesting and good-looking ones!” He came back to the counter with all the fixings for cereal in hand, “Aren’t you jealous?”
“I am the ‘interesting and good-looking’ friend…I don’t need any of my own,” Jisung boasted, both as an ego boost to himself and a mocking shot towards his friends.
Before the two of them were able to catch on to his joke, Jisung hurried to get ready for class. As much as he wanted to continue rotting away in his bed for the remainder of the day, life carried on.
Contrary to his words that always carried within them a sense of wry humor, Jisung was truly grateful to at least have two friends. This gratitude was always heightened whenever he attended a class without them. In each and every one, he would hide in the back throughout the entirety of the lecture and pray that there would be no required group work. Most of the time, he wouldn’t even utter a single word for the entire hour.
In times like these, his imagination was Jisung’s best friend. He would scribble drawings on the sides of his notes or play his favorite songs in his mind. If he was blessed with a window seat, he would look outside and think of lyrics to write down later. Though outwardly silent, his brain was a loud place to be.
The younger Jisung was ever jealous of those that had many friends – the outgoing types who had no issues in socializing – while the Jisung of the present day found comfort in solace.
•
At lunchtime after class, Jisung came back to life, no longer the dull and silent version of himself, “You still owe me, Changbin,” He teased, “Bangchan gave me a coffee, but you haven’t given me anything but the sight of you pissing this morning.”
Bangchan failed to hold back his surprised laughter, his words tumbling out clumsily, “ Pissing? What? What are you talking about? Did you see his-”
“Stop it!” Changbin cut him off there, hands waving back and forth in denial, “He didn’t see anything! He was basically sleepwalking, eyes still closed and everything!” There was a hint of uncertainty in his tone as he whispered to Jisung, “...Right? You didn’t see anything?”
“I saw it all.” Jisung lied with ease.
A shameless person such as Changbin, was somehow rendered into shame. He lowered his head in defeat, “...I’m sorry about that. What do you want?”
Jisung looked to the side, deep in thought. He hummed as he conjured up his biggest desires, “A slice of cheesecake.”
“That’s it?” Changbin seemed to have expected him to ask for an arm and a leg. Before Jisung could change his mind – though he wasn’t even planning on doing so – he leapt out of his seat and headed towards the desert section of the dining hall.
“So…” Bangchan filled the silence, a teasing grin appearing on his face, “What did it look like?”
“Uhg,” Jisung remarked with a grimace, “That’s enough, stop making me imagine that. I didn’t see anything, I was just teasing him.” He shrugged, feeling pleased with himself in having successfully ‘beat’ Changbin at his own game, “I finally have something to hold over him, so don’t ruin this for me.”
Bangchan sighed as he shook his head, “You two…You guys are so alike, ya know? Just like a couple of brothers.” Though his words were much like a disappointed father, his fondness for them was apparent, eyes crinkling up with a smile, “I wouldn’t be surprised if I developed some early gray hairs after dealing with you both.”
“Gray hairs are better than balding.”
“...You’re right about that.”
Jisung watched his friend's expression, knowing well that he was feeling sentimental. Although he always preferred to keep things light and unserious, he took the chance to clarify, “By the way, you guys don’t really need to make it up for me. It’s a friend's job to make sure you get home safe, afterall. I was just a little grumpy from being woken up.”
There was a glint in Bangchan’s eyes as he grabbed towards Jisung, “Aw~ Jisungie, give me a hug!”
Visions of the previous night flashed through Jisung’s mind as he was enveloped in a tight hug, “...Are you still drunk right now?” His words were muffled by Bangchan’s sweatshirt.
Changbin was met by such a sight as he placed a cheesecake slice on the table, “What the hell is going on here?”
As annoying as they both were in their own right, Jisung was relieved that he at least had two friends. Though he still felt stuck in the sand when it came to the flow of life, he knew that they would never leave him behind. Even if a wave was to come and sweep them away, Jisung was sure they would drag him along with them.