Chapter Text
“Also, Now I can do This!” The Purple Eldritch Gremlin known as Uzi Doorman said whilst summoning her wings and Bi-colored Eldritch powers.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” the class yelled in surprise, only to be silenced by a coffee cup slamming into Uzi’s head and shattering.
“Don't traumatize your classmates with the weird powers you've been given.” The teacher stared at her, having finally finished smashing his face into his desk. “Can't believe I wasted a coffee mug on that.”
“BITE ME”
With the conclusion of her second watermelon Presentation, coincidentally not about watermelons. Uzi walked back to her desk to allow class to continue.
“Alright, V, you're up next, please show us your presentation” The Teacher Sighed, calling said student up to the front. He knew V would be like Uzi, not following basic instructions.
V smirked. Stood up. And strode to the front, preparing assignment aligning presentation, For sure about purchasing watermelons.
After an utter bore-fest of the Presentations of watermelons Uzi finally got to her locker and opened it. Gazing at the mirror to examine the choker on her neck and her bangs, before an interruption occured.
“You look. Cute. But have you. Tried. A bow?” her tail, now sporting yellow lights instead of purple, asked while planting a bow on her.
Groaning in frustration, she slammed the locker and threw the bow off, only for her tail to catch it. “Of course you'd have sentience even after being gulped down.”
“Question: may I. Have. The bow? I want to. feel. Pretty.” The tail asked her while showing off the bow upon its head. Letting another sigh escape, Uzi relented.
“Fine. You can keep it tail-jacker. But it's staying on you and never me. Got it?” She threatened her own tail, holding the soul of the former Solver host.
“Agreement: as you. wish. I am. Going to. Sleep. now.” The tail vanished back into her, leaving her to walk down the hallway alone again.
“Hey Uzi!” N shouted from down the hall as he jogged to catch up, V walking at a slower pace behind him, giving a “Sup Gremlin” in response. Both having just returned from the winter wonder wasteland beyond the colony Walls.
“Hey you two. Anything interesting out in the deadcold of a post apocalyptic post apocalypse?”
“Still as frozen over as ever” V monotoned. "Did find a few of the parts you requested” She continued handing Uzi a bag.
“Great, we’re one step closer to upgrading my Sick as Hell Railgun” She said, looking through the small bag of parts “Maybe now I can get it to Fire more than Once every thirty minutes.”
“That'd be as neat as J actually getting the rocket fixed.” V quipped, choosing to try and lay herself up on the other two.
“joyful: Smile sweet. Sister. Sadistic.” A warbly and synthetic voice glitched out into the room, startling both N who froze, and V who aimed a rifle around in fear.
“Where is she-”
“Giggle: SURPRISE” a tail with yellow biolights spring up to stare at the two Murder Drones, resulting in a well deserved panic.
“OH ROBO-JESUS BISCUITS-” N shouted while spraying his machine gun around the room, forcing his girlfriend and friend to duck down.
“Designation. Cyn. At your Service. Big Brother N.” The new occupant proclaimed. “Now. 100% Solver. Free. Cackle.”
“. . . . And yet Doll’s still dead. Lizzy keeps bumming me into girl's night to cry.” V groaned, not willing to admit the fun of having someone to talk problems with.
“I mean, isn't that technically a good thing for you V? Doll did try killing you?” Uzi pointed out after swatting her tail.
“Dejection. Anyways, V. Red eyed. Solver host still. Functional. Keeps speaking. to me.” The yellow eyed tail chimes into the conversation. Drawing all three visors to her.
“Wait wait. You mean my cousin you ate the core of is alive in my tail?” Uzi stared at Cyn terrified. “Please tell me she hasn't seen things like you have.”
The eyes flickered red before a new voice spoke to the group. “Ты ведь не думал, что я полностью побежден? [You didn't think I had been fully defeated did you?]”
“Great so the Eldritch God and The Russian Carrie reside inside you.” V said pinching where her nose would be. “Truly, the pinnacle of a normal life.”
“V. We're Disassembly Drones. And Uzi has a fleshy world ending computer virus inside her. A ghost is honestly the most normal thing to happen here.” N poked at the tail, pulling his finger back to avoid having it bit off. Its multitude of eyes is a different color based on the side they reside on, Red on the left, Yellow on the right.
“Remembered. Uzi. Khan said he. had something to discuss. With you and. Big Siblings N. and V.”
“Don't call me that, Thing”
“Why does Mr. Uzi need us”
“Right, Dad did mention something like that, ugh, can't even enjoy the future in peace” she grumbled while grabbing her newest iteration of the constantly destroyed rifle. “Let's go see what he wants.”
The group would wind themselves through the bunker, passing other drones on the way before finally arriving at the incredibly decorated and impressive door.
“Your father likes Doors too much.” V deadpanned, drawing a huff of agreement from Uzi as she knocked upon the door. Only for it to open, An exhausted Khan Had been expecting the Trio, albeit with the composure of a Colony leader.
“Ahhh, Uzi” He greeted his daughter as warmly as his exhaustion could manage. “N, V” He greeted, less warm but still With a respectful nod to each nonetheless.
“Hi dad”
“Hi Mr. Uzi”
“Hey old timer”
“Come in. Come in, I've got some exciting News for everyone!” Khan said, gesturing for the three Drones to come in. Shutting the door He sighed, his posture slouching.
“You Ok, Mr. Uzi?” N asked the Older Worker Drone. The man nodded while taking his hat off and sipping from his World’s #1 Dad mug.
“Yep. Just exhausted after fighting the apocalypse…. Again” He muttered out, clearly done with life. “But your mother is over on the counter. That said, the entire planet has been in chaos since then.”
“Oh yeah. We never got to the other colonies on the planet. The fuckers.” V grumbled, remembering a peculiar rope launch and feather trap.
“Wait. What do you mean other colonies? There's more than us left on this Robo-God forsaken snowball?” Uzi glared at her Father. Her lover N. And V. “Don't you think that was important info!?”
“Ahh, tch, to be fair, there wasn't exactly much downtime to be able to discuss something like that.” N answered dejectedly.
“In my defence Shortstack, You never asked actually about other Possible Colonies.” V said with a shrug.
“. . . . I'm gonna actually blow a circuit.” she muttered. “And V, just cause you're hot doesn't mean I'll let you dodge the question.”
“Khan! You didn't tell her about the other colonies?” a purple eyed, half organic half mechanical, three legged heart spoke; hopping onto the back of a bar chair. “Speaking of the colonies, how many are still around?”
“Colony Four has a new leader as of half a planetary cycle ago. Colonies Eight, Twelve, Nine, and Five all still around. Colonies Six, Ten, Eleven, Seven, and Two are gone. And Colony One are nomads now, at least according to Rex, that is.” Khan went down the list, the mood downing with each dead colony listed.
“Of course Four would somehow survive. Surprised Seven and Six went down though. They were so out of the way.” Nori thought aloud. “What could've dug them out of their fortresses.”
“Well, what were The locations of those Colonies?” N asked the two in the room who'd know.
“Seven was on Forsen. Eleven is the opposite end of Reophea, the continent we're on.” Khan answered him, downtrodden.
“I think A and her team were stationed on Reophea with us” N thought aloud. “If you want a more concrete answer I'd definitely recommend Talking to J. She’d know exactly who's where.” N continued.
“If they had to dig, Colony Seven was it? Then that could very well be L’s team. His whole team likes Excavation.” V hazarded a guess.
“As for Colony 6. . . That Must've been Z's team” V said, her eyelights hollowing upon the realization. N's following suit upon hearing the Disassembly team leads Name.
“Z?”
“Only the most effective Disassembly Drone outright. Doesn't need a team he just understands the pros of having one. He's big. He's scary. And frankly he terrifies the rest of the murder.” N nervously taps his fingers together while explaining.
“I'm sorry you guys call your group a murder?”
“Not to Mention his teammates, X and Y. X is considered the Agility Specialist, while Y is the best Combat Specialist. Even besting me and J on the few times we have spared.” V added, her personally knowing Z's team over the others.
“Right, just skip over that question yep.” Uzi grumbled, still on the whole Disassembly Drones are a Murder thing.
V and N's eyes squinted as they saw the two Worker Drones with bodies matched their expressions with Hollowed out eyelights. Clearly the Doorman did not like the Information about Serial Designation Z and his team.
“Speaking of the Other Colonies, Khan. Weren't you told to get everyone back on AGAIN in the next few days to discuss when to schedule an In person meeting with all the leaders?” Nori said, distracting everyone present with more plans for the future.
“Indeed I do. We're hoping to get that done within the next few weeks, given that, according to the other Colony Leaders: The Disassembly Drones have been somewhat withdrawn. They're hoping to capitalize on it while it lasts.”
As the five with bodies conversed about the meeting and other things regarding the colonies and where the Murder Drones could've gone, Nori sat sipping oil at the counter. Cyn had other ideas however and a bend formed in the tail as it began compressing and extending itself, the yellow biolights facing upward.
“Expelling. Hack. Hack. Hack. Hack. Hack. Hack-” The tail began repeating, each vocalization accompanied by a compression and jaw spread, trying to expunge something.
“And if we want to find them, we'd need to know who's calling the shots and which groups saw them last.” V suggested, oblivious to what was occuring behind the group.
“True but that'd be assuming they're on this side of the planet as well.” Khan pointed out, all while Nori watched Cyn continue her routine. Her singular eyelight hollowing in horror as to what the Ex-Eldritch God was about to do.
“Hack. Hack. Hack. Hack. Hack. Hack-”
“Yes but that's also assuming they aren't traveling in a way we don't see them. Or moving at all.” N countered. “Staying in place or leaving the planet could be their plan.”
“Unlikely. It's been what; Twenty? Thirty? years since you guys got here. You haven't left yet. Why would you now?” Uzi shot it down, wondering what her tail was doing but not too focused on Cyn’s tomfoolery.
“Hack Hack Hack Hack-”
“Rrrrrr” The purple Drone would growl as they all turned to see what Cyn was up to, only to see the tail attempting to get rid of something.
“What … is your uh, tail, Doing there Uzi?” Khan watched as the tail of his daughter continued its mission.
“You better not mess up my counter you Eldritch Fu-” Nori glared at the tail before being interrupted by renewed tempo.
“HACK. HACK. HACK. HACK. HAC- Bleeapf” the tail would become more aggressive in its Hacking before bending over shakily and depositing a solver core with a red eyelight from its mouth and upon a pile of oil on the countertop.
“. . . . .”
“. . . . .”
“What the fuck you prick. I said NOT to ruin my counter.”
“Exhausted. Success. One whole. Soul. Of Doll. You are. Welcome. Tired Now.” The yellow tail declared while resting its head on Uzi’s shoulder, the process having taken a lot.
“So that's a thing. But hey. Doll's back.” N tried raising the awkward mood that was watching an Eldritch horror possessed tail hock up a soul like a cat.
“Эууууууууугггггггххххххххххххххххх, Я грязный, это просто отвратительно.[Euuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm dirty, this is just disgusting.]” Doll’s core said, caked in freshly regurgitated oil.
“Yeah I think my appetite is ruined. But at least Lizzy will get good news. Eventually.” V groaned while flopping onto the couch. “I need pampering after seeing that.”
“Right. Well that happened. I'll put it down for two bodies to be brought, unless you all want to use Doll's old one.” Khan offered while moving the freshly produced core so he could clean off the counter. “But aside from that; what of these other drones?”
“Realistically some will just stop outright. Others won't. I can attest L’s team might. A's team probably would, Then again, they have B. But Z’s team would absolutely keep it going.” N boiled it down, trying to keep it optimistic. “But an Administrator could make them stop without question.”
“Administrator?”
“A drone with the coding to alter and/or control us and our mission directives. The last Administrator being Uzi’s tail demon. So we're shit out of luck.” V said from the couch.
“Ahem, well it's a good thing I have Cyn's Solver Administrator Eldritch God Abilities then right?” Uzi spoke up, attempting to calm everyone's nerves.
“Well that saves us another hunt-” Nori thanked Robo-God before being shut down.
“Misconception. You have. added. my Solver abilities. To. your own. My. Admin Privileges. Were. Sent out to. “The Best Disassembly Drone.” I am. Unsure where they. Ended up. Oopsies. Daisies.” Cyn informed the occupants of the room.
“. . . Hmmph. How wonderful~” V mocked in a sing-song voice of disappointment. “And not a clue who has it.”
“You had a liking to N didn't You Cyn, wouldn't it be Him?” Uzi asked.
“That’s. What I intended. but I don't think I. did it correctly. Shit.” Cyn clearly did not anticipate what had occured but knew it had happened once free of the Solver.
“So back to square one then” Nori sighed in annoyance.
“Would it not be safe to assume that This Z person you mentioned ended up with those Administrator Privileges?” The tired Worker Drone pitched to the group. V and N both locked up in terror at what Khan was proposing.
“What makes you so sure of that?” Uzi looked at him.
“I mean, both N and V just finished going on about how he is the Outright Best performer in the Murder Drone ranks”. Khan explained His reasoning.
“Huh. You actually have a point there Dad.”
“. . . .” As the two sat in silence, N finally broke it with an inhale and one drawn out summary of the possibility ahead of them.
“Fuuuuuck”
[Meanwhile, at a large spire of Worker Drone Corpses]
The third and final Disassembly Drone of the sector was hard at work, trying to fix the ship she destroyed. Per her boss’s orders. And now, after said boss’s death, Serial Designation J found it hard to cope with everything that had happened. Completely alone, she betrayed N and V. The Workers hated her. Tessa was dead.
It was weird for J. Her memory files had been blocked for so long, having a clear memory for the first time in ages. It had overwhelmed her when it first happened. It wasn't just her memories but even quite a few emotional receptors had been blocked. While she wasn't the nicest person to V and N back at the manor, having had the preference of following orders. She would never have gone as far as abusing them to the point of making an attempt on their lives. She wished she had the ability to apologize to both for how horrible she was. Not like it mattered anymore. She wished she hadn't screwed up so badly, she was for sure on a crash course to being put on the Company’s blacklist.
She rubbed her sore neck hydraulics, brushing against the now singular short ponytail on the back of her head. She enjoyed the pigtails, but she needed something easier to work and weld with. One fire incident was enough to warrant change atop everything else.
She heard a whoosh outside the spire, now Her spire, she surmised. Knowing its other two tenants were not returning. She finished the last bit of spot welding on the panel she'd been toiling with.
Upon her exit she saw a box full of things. Namely an oil carton. Another of many she’s gotten over the past few weeks. She let out an exhausted sigh before picking it up. Scanning the box's contents, a few pieces of scrap metal, an oil carton, a folded piece of paper, a few miscellaneous tools.
Wait, paper. Not damp with snow. Freshly placed. She immediately swapped a hand for a machine gun and took aim while picking up the paper to read.
“I Still Owe U 1 Spaceship…” she read out, realization dawning on her. “N” she quickly takes aim at noise and watches him flying off into the night, her former reflexes contradicting her thoughts.
As he grows further away, she finally sighs and shifts her hand back to normal, turning to pick up the oil. “You Overly Concerned Synergistic Liability” She began fondly before taking a breath.
“Even after all that happened.” She allowed herself a small smile in response to the gesture. “Back to more tedious repairs.”