Just Know You're Not Alone, Cause I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home

by SpaceAndTimeBirdMom

Summary:

Or: 10 times the Thunderbolts unknowingly acted like a family + 1 time they used it to their benefit

Chapter 1: 1. Meal Times

Sunlight streaming through our windows

Glancing at the clock, we'll be cutting it close

I'll be making you coffee while you're making me toast

        Kitchen Lovin’, Ked

There were only a few unspoken rules in the New Avengers tower:

1. Don’t tell Valentina anything more than what was necessary.
2. Don’t bother each other after missions.
3. For the love of God do NOT eat anything cooked by Alexei.

That third one was established pretty early on after he insisted on cooking a big dinner for them to celebrate the tower renovation finally being done. The meat was both burnt and raw, the vegetables turned into mush, and somehow everything was boiled. He claimed it was traditional “Russian food to grow strong, good for heart, good for bones!” But everyone assumed he was trying to convince himself as much as he was the rest of them. 

The dinner was tense, punctuated with coughs from the rest of them, either because it was so dry they couldn’t swallow, or they were trying to sneakily spit their mouthful into their napkins. Walker was the least impressed, going to voice his opinion after the first bite, but a kick from Ava under the table got him to shut up. She kept somehow phasing the food off her plate, or just bundling it into her napkin faster than anyone could keep up with.

Bucky grimaced with each bite, reminded of his time in the war torn 40s where rations prevented really anything from tasting good. He tapped out first, claiming he had paperwork that desperately needed to get done. Bob just smiled, thanking Alexei for the meal, too kind to say anything, or too touched that someone had cooked a meal for him to possibly think anything negative about it. Yelena kept throwing forkfuls behind her whenever her dad wasn’t looking not really caring where it ended up. She lied through her teeth, complimenting him, but understanding why she had never seen him cook back in Ohio. Their dinners were always made by Melina and she now knew it wasn’t just for them to fit into the nuclear family structure of the time, it was for their own safety to not consume his cooking. 

As for Alexei, he enjoyed his meal, though no one really knew if he didn’t want to admit it was bad or if he actually liked it. More than the food though, he enjoyed having them all at one table. They hadn’t had a meal together other than protein bars shared on the jet post mission, or the rare times their personal routines somehow lined up for them to coexist in the same space. Though that didn’t really count as sharing a meal, they were just eating in each other's vicinity. 

Once they had endured their fake eating long enough, they all (minus Bucky) began to stand and fell into a rhythm of cleaning their plates and clearing the table. No one seemed to register how domestic it all was, taking roles of washing and drying dishes, wiping down the counters, and putting everything away. Yelena even took one for the team and “dropped” the leftovers on the floor with the claim her hand slipped. She apologized profusely, but everyone knew Alexei could never really be mad at her. 

The next time Alexei had the idea of a family group meal, they quickly refuted the idea, claiming he “shouldn’t bother” and that it was “too much”. After enough polite arguments to spare his feelings, they agreed he could make breakfasts on Saturdays. Their concession was calculated as Alexei only had one thing for breakfast, Wheaties, and they knew he wouldn’t dare change his habit. 

Sure enough, when they all woke to a “GOODMORNING NEW AVENGERS! COME GET THE BREAKFAST OF HEROES!” At 7 am that Saturday, accompanied by the banging of two pans together, they found Alexei ready with his Wheaties. What they hadn’t expected was his creativity elsewhere which meant every type of milk was set out (who knew pistachio milk was a thing?) along with every type of juice and breakfast drink known to man. The rest of the tower inhabitants stumbled in bleary eyed, still clad in pajamas, Bob even had his blanket around his shoulders.

When they entered the dining area to see Alexei grinning and waving while sat at the table brimming with their breakfast they all paused. Yelena just shook her head, laughing slightly to herself before going to take a seat next to her dad. The rest of the team followed suit, grabbing bowls and drinks, their tiredness washed away as the sun slowly filled the windows. No one would admit it, maybe not even to themselves, but that morning they all basked in the domesticity of it all, the familiarity, the security. 

From there on out, Saturday Wheaties became a staple in the tower, no matter how busy the week before was, or how tired they all were. In addition to that, meals during the week became more frequent as well. Friday pizza nights were a staple, as well as Takeout Tuesdays. Sometimes there would be a text randomly sent to their group chat that someone had decided to make a meal for them all (sometimes that meant a box of pasta and canned sauce, other times it meant a five star dish.) Oftentimes after a long mission they would come home to Bob in the kitchen getting something ready as he’d been slowly teaching himself how to cook. He said he just wanted a hobby, but they all knew he wanted to feel useful to them in some way without Sentry. 

Regardless of when or why they ate together, they always sat in the spots they took that first night, never anywhere else. They all helped clean up after it was over and thanked whoever cooked it. They all laughed at least once throughout the meal and bickered even more times. They all felt a little bit lighter as they left and all made time to do it again.

Chapter 2: 2. Summer Grilling

Summary:

John Walker has some regrets, but he's working on it.

You build a boat, you build a life

You lose your kids, you lose your wife

You settle down, you're feelin' lost

You're gettin' stoned, then kickin' rocks

     Northern Attitude, Noah Kahan

Normally the smell of smoke and charcoal would be alarming to the New Avengers, indicating a threat or attack on the tower. This meant that on a summer afternoon on a rare off day for them, the tower inhabitants all converged on the kitchen in various states of clothing and awakeness. They expected a villain or some sort of spaceship or anything other kind of threat or fight awaiting them. What they didn’t expect was John Walker standing in front of a grill on the balcony. What they expected even less was Bob standing there with him, holding tongs. The grill, purchased the day prior, was the finest that Home Depot had to offer, ordered off the online catalogue and delivered that day. He was born and raised in Georgia and every once in a while got a craving for a good steak. It reminded him of childhood summers, as well as the summers he had possibly thrown away with his son by his actions. 

When he had gotten it situated on the balcony off the dining/kitchen area, he’d immediately fired it up and immediately after that, been discovered by Bob. 

“Oh! Hey man. Uh I can go I was just wondering what the noise was.” Bob stood there, hands fidgeting by his sides. 

“Just getting this going for the first time, thought it would be a nice addition to the tower.” He fiddled with the controls, adjusting the height of the flames. 

“Right cool, that’s cool.” Bob began to turn and leave, not sure what else to say or how he could justify staying. 

“Bobby- shit er, Bob.” John grimaced, the nickname slipping out before he could catch it. Before he even knew what he was saying, he added “do you want to keep me company? It’s kind of sad to grill out alone and I could use some help, I was gonna make enough for dinner tonight and an extra pair of hands would be great…” 

“Sure. Um yeah I can help.” He slowly made his way over to the sliding door, stepping over the threshold into the fresh air to stand by him. “Also, Bobby is fine. I don’t really mind it…anymore.” 

Walker was teaching him how to flip the steaks when he somehow knocked a napkin into the open flame, the papery cloth immediately catching fire and burning into ashes and embers. He’d expected the other man to be angry, to yell at him for making such a stupid mistake so he began to apologize profusely. Instead, Walker just laughed, clapping him on the shoulder and reassuring him that mistakes were bound to happen. 

“Look you didn’t even mess up the meat, it's all good man I swear.” He felt himself soften at the sight of Bob so worried about his anger, rethinking how he’d initially treated him when they met. Granted he could have been a threat (ended up sort of being one too) and he didn’t know about his past back then, but still. He did take some comfort in the fact that he had punched his dad in the face in Bob’s “fear room” as they’d all taken to calling them when necessary. 

That was how the rest of their team found them, alerted to their ongoings by the burnt napkin somehow permeating the air through the vents. To say they were shocked was an understatement.

“What uh…what the fuck is this?” Yelena was the one to break the silence, dressed in black sweats, her hair mussed from sleep. 

“Walker’s teaching me how to grill!” Bob grinned, clapping his tongs together for emphasis.

“He’s a natural, really good with the tongs.” Walker leaned around him to address them. “Would one of you set the table? We’re about done here.”

“YES. Good job boys, well done, yes we will set table for family dinner.” Alexei was clearly the most enthused of them all as he dragged Yelena and Bucky along with him.

“Wow, grilling out, probably the most dad-like thing we’ve seen of you yet, Walker.” Ava crossed her arms, smirking at the sight in front of her before walking off to join them. He knew her words were meant to be teasing and in good fun, but they stung a little bit. His family issues hadn’t been quite resolved yet, even though he had joined counseling and been able to get visiting rights, there was still resentment from Olivia, with good reason. He wanted to be a dad again, and a good dad at that, but to be that, he had to be someone deserving of his son. 

He wanted his son to be proud to call him dad…and that…well that wasn’t a quick fix. 

“Hey uh…thanks for this, for teaching me this. My dad never did any of this so I never…learned anything like it. This was fun.” Bob brought him back from his thoughts, smiling up at him, still clasping the tongs. 

“Yeah no problem Bobby. Let’s get these plated up for everyone, yeah?” 

—

Later that evening, everyone else had dispersed and Walker stood wiping down the grill, the night air whistling around him. His thoughts, once again, drifted to his family. He wanted to be better, to win them back and be the person they deserve, be the father his son deserves. 

But for now, it was time to be the person his new family team needed. He couldn’t change who he was before, but he could choose who he would become for them. 

Bob once again pulled his attention back to reality, where he realized he’d been scrubbing the same spot for god knows how long. 

“Hey, we were thinking of watching a movie in the common room. Bucky’s mention of reading the Hobbit but not seeing it really set Ava off so she’s sort of mandating that we watch it now? You…wanna join?” 

Yeah, he was going to be better. 

“Sure, finishing up, I’ll be there in a minute.” 

Notes:

Chapter 2 done! Enjoyed writing this one and exploring some 1 on 1 relationship building :))

Chapter 3: 3. Modern Momentos

Summary:

Bucky is slowly catching up to everyone else, with help.

Cut people out, like tags on my clothing

I end up all alone, but I still keep hoping

I won't be scared to let someone know me

Life feels so monotone, but I still keep hoping

     People Watching, Conan Gray

When the rest of the team found out Bucky had never seen the Hobbit, they hadn’t been surprised per se, but it was a wakeup call. They’d all assumed that in his time since being the Winter Soldier, he would have caught up on all he’d missed in his brainwashed days. Granted he’d been busy saving the world, being dusted, and running for Congress, but still. Even Alexei was more up to date with modern culture due to his copious free time in recent years. As more and more of their references didn’t land with him, they began to slowly (and unknowingly) work together to fill in the gaps. 

~~~

It started with Bob dropping off Ender’s Game in his room, a book he’d read at least 9 times throughout his life, hoping he’d enjoy it. Only a few days later it was returned, sitting on his bedside table with a post-it note on it: “Thanks for the recommendation. Good plot twist.” Bob silently cheered to himself, satisfied with his pick. He was even more satisfied when Bucky spoke up as they were washing dishes a few days after that. 

“Hey I looked up that book and saw there’s more in the series. Do you have copies of them?” His voice was quiet and slightly uncertain as he raised the question while toweling off a plate.

“Aw man I wish, I’ve never read them, could never find the time or copies in second hand stores. If I did, I'd lend them to you though.” Bob’s frown solidified itself on his face as he handed Bucky another plate from the sink. 

“That’s ok man, just wondering.” That was the end of the conversation as they lapsed into comfortable silence after. Once they had parted ways after saying goodnight, Bob didn’t think anything more of the conversation, only wishing slightly that he’d been able to help further. 

The next day, he came into his room to find a box set of the series on his bed, with a post-it note that read, “Got two of these. Let me know when you finish the next book.” 

And so the tradition of their book chats began. It started with discussing them over dish duty, but they started getting weird looks when they’d immediately volunteer after a meal. Eventually it transferred to debates over lunch or cups of tea when neither one could sleep. It had no set genre, no rules for what could be read, it just had to be something Bucky had missed (and there was a lot). The Giver, Harry Potter, The Handmaid’s Tale. All were consumed and discussed in quiet moments of peace, creating a routine for both of them, a reliable point of connection to another person. Slowly but surely they started quite a collection, culminating in Bob stumbling on Bucky in the living room one day, wrestling with an Ikea bookshelf. Once he’d stepped in to help the super soldier with the Lommarp shelving unit, they soon had a mini library spanning a few of the shelves. They stood back to observe their work, Bucky offering the shorter man a high five and a smile when they parted to get ready for dinner. 

He’d be caught up in no time. 

~~~

Alexei’s form of modern education was less informational, typically centering on celebrity gossip and scandals that occurred over the years. Whether it was JFK’s affair with Marylin Monroe, what Hollywood stars were avid Scientologists, or even what happened on the latest Keeping Up With The Kardashians. These “lessons” were spontaneous yet admittedly entertaining as many of the details were embellished or just completely wrong…but his intentions were pure. 

“Ah you see and then Marylin sang the Happy Birthday to John and everyone was like “Oh my god they sleeping together we’re sure” and then BOOM the FBI sent to kill her.” Alexei stood, acting out his story to the captive audience of the jet after Bucky was confused when someone jokingly sang “Happy Birthday Mr. President”. 

Bucky was simply more confused as he leaned over to Yelena to whisper-ask her, “should I tell him the Winter Soldier killed JFK?” 

“No, for the love of god, do not feed into whatever this is.” Was her reply as their attention turned back to Alexei who was mimicking Monroe’s famous skirt photograph, making Walker and Ava hold and flap a spare blanket around him like a dress.

“I’m gonna do it, hey Alexei-”

“Bucky NO.” 

~~~

Yelena’s tactic was quieter, mostly done without talking. One day, during training, she caught him absentmindedly tapping his hand along to a song on someone’s playlist. Later that day she spiedobserved him trying to search it up based on what he remembered, but was ultimately unsuccessful in his search. That night, she simply sent him a link to the song privately, no explanation or reasoning attached. This cycle slowly continued with her noticing songs he seemed to enjoy, but couldn’t figure out how to find. 

Once she felt like she understood his music taste better, she started sending him things that she thought he would like, or just things he needed to listen to for the cultural experience. These suggestions ranged from Frank Sinatra to The Smiths to Taylor Swift and everyone/everything between or beyond. Eventually she just created a playlist to collect it all in one place. Slowly she became more and more invested, beginning to ask him about his opinions and preferences to help curate her recommendations. 

“No, I like it.”

“Ok but do you like it like it or are you just saying that? If you lie to me, you’re just going to end up listening to more music you don’t like so you need to be honest Barnes.” 

“I like it like it, I swear.” 

“Ok! More Wicked songs then, I think you’re going to love I’m Not That Girl.” 

~~~

One morning during Saturday Wheaties, Walker entered the room, ceremoniously tossing six tickets onto the table with a flourish.

“What the fuck is this now?” Ava was the first to speak, always ready to question his actions. 

“It's museum tickets. I figured we could all use an outing.” He took his usual seat, pouring himself a bowl of cereal while they looked at him skeptically. 

“The Met?” Bucky asked, not that he didn’t like the place, it had just been recommended to him so much that he finally went and didn’t particularly feel the need to go back. 

“No uh, the Brooklyn Museum actually.” Bucky didn’t miss how Walker (and everyone else’s) gaze flickered to him at the mention of the borough. “They have some time period rooms and a whole wing of feminist art which I thought y’know.” He made a vague gesture to Yelena and Ava.

“Oh so because we’re women we have to be feminists who enjoy feminist art?” Yelena crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at the man.

“....are you not?” Walker threw a confused glance to the rest of the team, while they just laughed at his discomfort.

“Well duh, of course we are. It’s just fun to watch you squirm.” Ava threw a spare wheatie at him and John batted it away. 

“Thanks Walker. I haven’t been there since, well, since Steve and I were kids.” His comment sobered everyone up. He didn’t talk much about his past so when he did, everyone listened. “Head out in an hour? Don’t forget hats and stuff, I don’t really feel like getting swarmed today.” 

To that the team raised their glasses of various juices and coffees in agreement (other than Alexei who was the only one who enjoyed being flooded by people asking questions and wanting pictures) before dispersing to get ready. Bucky made sure to lay off on making fun of Walker for the rest of the day…well mostly. 

~~~

Since the Hobbit movie night, Ava had become a little obsessed with figuring out what all she had to show Bucky to “build his Letterboxd” (whatever that meant.)

“Ok, Interstellar?”

“No.”

“Harry Potter?”

“No but I’ve read the books.” That got a smile from Bob. 

“Star Wars?” He just gave her a look at that one. “Okay...yes to Star Wars then. Pulp Fiction?” 

“No.”

“Probably no to Saving Private Ryan.”

“Actually yes.”

“Really?”

“No.”

“Ugh fine. Ok now that I’ve compiled a pretty good list we can start with my next selection: The Breakfast Club.” Ava turned to the tv, pulling up the movie as she set her notebook next to herself. 

Movie night had slowly but surely become a tradition. Originally it was Fridays and though they still always made time for it then, it slowly spread throughout the week whenever there was a free night. On movie nights they would sprawl across the living room, equipped with drinks and snacks and plenty of popcorn. It was rare for everyone to make it through the whole movie without falling asleep, but it gave them all time to just be normal, as normal as they could be. Alexei would usually ask very obvious questions just to be immediately shushed and told to keep watching. Bob fell asleep the fastest, usually somewhat swaddled in a blanket. John would pretend to not be tired but ultimately give out part way through, and often Yelena would drop onto someone's shoulder, though at the beginning of every movie she would insist she was going to stay awake that time.

Bucky always stayed awake the whole time, ready to give an eager Ava his thoughts and rating. Sometimes they would be the only ones awake, discussing the film while their team slept around them. Those were some of the most peaceful and enjoy moments either of them had ever had in their lives, though neither of them would ever admit it. 

Slowly but surely Bucky got more of their jokes and references, getting smiles in return whenever he indicated his understanding.

One day, a few weeks into their new routines, Ava was giving out directions for a mission. 

“Yelena you need to enter through the back, we need the least amount of detection possible here. Barnes you come in on the side here, as stealthy as possible too please.” 

“As you wish.” 

“Was that a fucking Princess Bride reference?"

Notes:

Longest chapter yet!! You might have noticed I also increased the chapter count by two, that's because I have no self control and saw Thunderbolts for the third time and came up with more ideas that I wanted to include!!

Chapter 4: 4. Reminiscing On The Past

Summary:

Alexei takes the New Avengers on a little trip down memory lane.

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see what's in her mind?

Each time I think I'm close to knowing

She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

     Slipping Through My Fingers, ABBA 

The Red Guardian was a man with many stories. This was evident from how long Alexei could go on and on about his days as the Soviet super soldier. Sometimes he was cut off or ignored, mostly because his stories and speeches came at very inconvenient times, such as mid-fight or during a hostage situation. But other times, when they were gathered in the living room, tired but fulfilled after a long day, Alexei was given the floor. 

When he was given their attention he often ran to his room to grab old tapes of parades or events honoring him. These would always be paused in order for him to tell an old mission story or recount a play-by-play of one of his fights. 

Though they often made fun of him, the man truly had some interesting stories to tell, and they couldn’t help but get wrapped up in his theatrics. The sight was akin to a kindergarten story time, the rest of the team wide eyed, their focus zeroed in on the man as he recounted his life. 

That night in particular, Alexei was telling them all of the time he saved a bus of children from a cliff, though no one could really remember/decipher the details of why it had happened. 

“And THEN, I picked up the bus, above my head.” He picked Bob up as his bus prop, receiving cheers from the rest of the “audience” as Bob remained stiff in the air.  

“And I walk with it to the nearest town over ice and snow and wind!” Alexei marched around the living room, circling the rest of them, still holding Bob before placing him back down at the front. 

“Then I made sure they were ok. There were THIRTY SEVEN children, I counted I swear, and they all come to me “Oh thank you Red Guardian thank you” and I say, “Is no problem, is what I do.”” He grabbed Bob’s hand, shaking it as if the smaller man was an adoring fan. 

“So this parade, it was to honor that?” John gestured to the screen behind Alexei, paused on The Red Guardian waving to the crowd before him. 

“Yes of course. They wanted to thank me for my GLORIOUS feat of strength and kindness. Ok Bob, you may sit down, thank you for your help.” Bob made his way back to the couch, finding his spot next to Yelena again. Alexei quickly began to launch into his next tale before being interrupted. 

“Ok, I have to ask, do you have a favorite mission you’ve ever been on?” Ava posed the question from her spot on a nearby armchair, curled up with a cup of tea. 

“Well, that is hard question.” Alexei pulled a chair to the front to take a seat, suddenly uncharacteristically solemn. “At the time, there was this one mission that I didn’t like. I thought it boring and trivial. Now I would give anything to go back to that mission, to enjoy it, and to change the outcome.” 

The others were immediately intrigued, confused by the sudden switch in tone. They’d all expected another grand story with acting and theatrics, not whatever was happening in front of them. 

Alexei looked right at Yelena, who looked right back at him. She seemed to immediately know what he was talking about, her focus entirely on what he would say next. No one else knew where to look, feeling like they were somehow intruding on a private moment. 

“When Yelena was very young, we had a mission in Ohio. Me, Melina, Natasha, and Yelena went undercover as an American family. The girls went to school, I went to work. I’d come home to dinner on the table and I’d get to listen to all their stories from the day. They’d draw these little pictures of our family and at night I’d tuck them in, say bedtime stories, kiss them goodnight. When the mission was over, I let the girls get taken to the Red Room.” He looked down at his lap as the rest of the team sat in silence. “It is only now that I can look back on it as my favorite mission, though it really was more than a mission. I wish I could go back to Ohio and enjoy being a father. And if I could go back I wouldn’t complete the mission, I’d never send my girls back to Dreykov.”

None of them really knew the specifics of how Alexei was Yelena’s father, no one wanted to pry enough to find out the details. They’d sort of all accepted that he was her dad without getting bogged down in the specifics, but his confession clicked something into place in the equation. 

Yelena stood suddenly, crossing the room quickly to wrap her arms around the man. The rest of them froze. It wasn’t that uncommon for Alexei and Yelena to hug or show any kind of physical affection, it made sense with them being family and all. They’d just never seen it in such an emotional setting. 

In that moment Yelena looked so young and childlike, practically curled up on the lap of her father. Alexei smoothed her hair, muttering something too quiet for any of them to hear as he almost imperceptibly rocked her back and forth. 

To say the rest of them weren’t sure what to do was an understatement considering how emotionally stunted each of them were. Thankfully they were saved from too much turmoil over their emotional development and touch starvation as Yelena pulled away, wiping at her eyes as quickly as possible. 

“Ah sorry, sorry.” She stood, facing the rest of them, clapping her hands together. “I’m going to go get a refill, can I get anyone anything?” 

Bob and Walker both handed her their glasses as she passed by on her way to the kitchen. 

“I know you must think me terrible, to give those little girls up.” Alexei addressed them all once Yelena was out of sight. 

“We’ve all done bad stuff man. Looks like you got to somehow make up for it at least.” Bucky spoke up in his infinite wisdom, knowing firsthand how strong guilt can latch onto a person. Everyone in the tower understood that feeling of guilt. Some days it was just another weight on their backs, other days it felt like drowning in cement, as if they’d never truly breathe again. 

When Yelena came back in, she passed the drinks around before taking her spot on the couch next to her dad, resting her head on him as he wrapped his arm around her. No one mentioned it again and they moved onto Ava’s next movie choice without pause. 

~~~
Later that night, when Alexei carefully woke Yelena up from where she’d fallen asleep on him during the movie, he couldn’t help but smile. It reminded him of when she was just little and would swear she could make it through the whole movie, but would always pass out on one of their laps. His heart swelled with gratitude that he got to experience this once more, not knowing what god or higher power had blessed him with this chance. 

When they reached the door to her room, she paused, turning to him and saying barely above a whisper:

“Goodnight Daddy. I love you.” 

Notes:

Really hit a weird writers block with this chapter but it's done! I'm glad people seem to enjoying this! Feel free to let me know if you're enjoying this fic or if you have any suggestions or anything :)))

Chapter 5: 5. Sleepless Nights

Summary:

Ava discovers a nighttime problem.

All my nightmares escaped my head

Bar the door, please don't let them in

You were never supposed to leave

Now my head's splitting at the seams

And I don't know if I can

     Welcome Home Son, Radical Face 

The first time Ava sleepwalked/phased/wandered into someone’s room, Walker woke everyone up screaming his head off. She had somehow made her way into his room and stood in her full black sleepwear at the base of his bed, simply staring forward at the wall above him. Instead of launching into attack like the rest of them would, John screamed before promptly falling onto the floor in a tangle of blankets. 

When the rest of the team entered, they found a very embarrassed Walker trying to get out of his heap on the floor and a very confused Ava who had no idea how or why she was there. At John’s explanation, “sh-she was just standing there like- like a ghost.” The rest of them laughed at the unintentional pun assuring him and an equally freaked out Ava that it was probably just a one off thing and wouldn’t happen again. 

They were very wrong. 

~~~

It wasn’t even two weeks later when Ava awoke on her own, finding herself standing upright while facing a corner. She whipped around to find Alexei fast asleep in his bed, surrounded by at least ten pillows. His snores drilled into her mind, worsening her already present confusion and disorientation. With no memory of how she got there, she phased out the door and into the hallway as quietly as possible. 

She could feel the speed of her heart as she leant against the wall opposite his door, pressing her forehead against the cool surface. She was grateful he hadn’t awoken to find her standing there, but she felt embarrassed nonetheless. With a quick google search after the first time it happened, she’d become 95% sure it was just sleepwalking, which only affected about 6.9% of the population and had no guaranteed cure. 

If she was normal, lived a normal life, had the abilities of a normal human, and didn’t spend most of her life on edge, it would be fine. 

However, Ava was not a normal human with a normal life. She was an enhanced being with the skillset of a mercenary, and someone who was now in the public eye as a New Avenger. 

There was some hope that it was a one-off issue when it hadn’t happened night after night, but with this second incident, she worried it was going to become a more regular fixture. Unfortunately, at that moment, forehead still pressed against the wall, she was too tired to think of a solution. 

When she got back to her bedroom down the hall, she tried the door, before realizing she had habitually locked it before bed. Unfortunately that didn’t slow her sleeping self down at all or prevent her from leaving. She quickly phased into the room, climbing back into the already messy sheets and trying to breathe deeply as she pulled the blankets around her tightly.

Eventually her racing thoughts slowed and she fell back asleep, still wrapped tightly, as if willing herself to stay solid and in place. 

~~~

The third time it happened was only four days after the last and was both the most and least embarrassing of them all. She didn’t remember getting out of bed and phasing into Yelena’s room, and didn't even wake up in the middle of the night giving her time to escape unnoticed. 

Ava woke up bright and early to Yelena’s morning alarm blaring from her side table. 

Awareness hit her all at once as she sat up quickly, standing from her spot at the end of the bed. As she uncurled to stand, a soft blanket fell off of her and onto the floor and she froze, just staring at it in confusion. 

“G’mornin.” Yelena’s voice was slightly slurred, still half asleep as she rubbed a hand across her face. “You came in last night and kept shaking, I figured you were cold.” 

The assassin said it so normally, like it wasn’t at all out of the ordinary, like it was something they’d done for years before. She suddenly wished they’d spread out more when the tower was finished being remodeled. 

Initially they’d all stayed on the same floor as it was the only floor not destroyed during “The Void Incident” that had the rooms and furniture that made it suitable to live there. However, during the tower remodel, there were multiple other residential floors added, but no one made any move to move around. They’d never discussed it but they were all aware of the option, though Ava was regretting her choice, not that it would have probably stopped her sleepwalking self. 

“Oh, uh. Thank you.” Ava began to leave, face flushing out of embarrassment and anger at herself. Why couldn’t she just control it? Why did her body keep betraying her and her wishes?

“No problem. Training in 30?” Was all Yelena said before Ava shot a thumbs up over her shoulder, phasing into the hallway. The whole exchange was oddly simple and domestic. There was no yelling, no fear, just kindness and comfort unlike so much of her life.

She wasn’t sure which would have been worse. 

~~~

The following night Ava sat alone on the middle of the couch. It was well into the early morning and she kept nodding off every minute or so, eyes barely open, but she refused to drop the upright posture she was maintaining. She did not want to end up in someone’s room or another random place. While she knew she couldn’t stay awake forever, she hoped that if her body was extremely exhausted, then she would stay in her bed all night. 

So there she was, staring dead ahead, willing herself to stay up just a bit longer. They didn’t have anywhere to be tomorrow, so she could sleep in, and hopefully she would sleep hard . Her eyes had slipped closed for the third time that minute and when she forced herself to open them again, Bob stood in the doorway to her left. 

Ava jumped at the sudden presence and suddenly felt much more awake from the fast heartbeat and adrenaline released by the surprise. 

“Hi, sorry if I scared you I didn’t- I wasn’t trying to.” His hand found the back of his neck as he shrunk into himself.

“How long were you standing there?” Was all Ava could think to ask as she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt.

“Oh not long, really I swear. I just had a bad dream and wanted some tea- uhm, do you…do you want some?”

So that was how Ava found herself sitting next to Bob on the couch, twin mugs of chamomile tea in their hands. 

“What are you doing up?” Bob was surprisingly forward in his question. 

“Oh…well I guess I’m testing a theory.” 

“About the uh…sleepwalking?” Ava’s head whipped to the side to stare at him at his casual comment.

“What? How do you know about that?” Her hands tightened around the mug she held, embarrassment filling her once more.

“Well the first time was when John woke us all up and then Yelena may have sort of possibly let it slip to me the other day…but she didn’t mean to tell me! And I don’t think she’s told anyone else!” After a moment of silence he added, “ Please don’t be mad.”

She just sighed, feeling the exhaustion settle back into body as the adrenaline from before wore off. 

“That was actually the third time. I woke up standing in the corner of Alexei’s room between the times with John and Yelena.” 

“Oh…”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t mean to do it, it just happens and I wake up somewhere other than where I fell asleep. I thought maybe, well maybe if I’m super tired I’ll stay put. That’s why I’m here, hoping to, I don't know, exhaust my body into submission?” Ava could tell by the look on Bob’s face that he didn’t believe her theory very much and neither did she deep down. She wasn’t sure what caused her to immediately open up to him, but he seemed to be the most empathetic and trusting person out of their team, so he was probably the best option. 

“Have you thought of talking to someone?” Bob likely already knew the answer, but asked anyway. 

“I’m talking right now aren’t I?” She avoided the look he shot her, taking an interest in her tea instead. 

“I can’t make you go, but therapy is actually…really good. You should just give it a shot, it might help.” He was quiet for a moment before he spoke up again. “Maybe you’re lonely?” 

“What?”

“Well we do stuff as a team but not like every day and, no offense, but you lock yourself in your room most days or go off on your own. So you just, well you keep sleepwalking to places with people so…maybe you’re lonely.” He shrugged at the end of his statement, like it was the most casual thing to say. She didn’t really know what to say in response as she didn’t have much of a defense to argue. It was true she didn’t seek them out much, but it wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she just didn’t know how.

Growing up in a lab doesn’t really lead to amazing people skills and she was used to being alone for a lot of her life. Well alone in an emotional sense, there were always a lot of doctors and scientists poking and prodding her constantly. 

“I don’t think it's that. I think it’s something else going on, I just have to figure out what.” She shook her head, refusing to let it be that. 

“Well I hope you figure it out soon.” He seemed a little sadder at her rejection of his theory but she refused to let it dig into her chest too deep, it couldn’t be that. 

“Thanks Bob.” 

The following morning they were found on the couch, cold half drunken mugs of tea on the table in front of them. Ava’s head had slumped onto Bob’s shoulder at some point and they both looked too peaceful to wake up. 

Ava did not sleepwalk at any point. When she eventually woke hours later and carefully left before Bob gained consciousness, she insisted to herself it was because she stayed up so late. 

No other explanation. 

~~~

The following night she woke up suddenly, standing from where she’d been curled up against the arm of the couch. 

“Why am I…” She trailed off as she turned to find Bucky sitting on the other end of the couch, flipping through a book. 

“Goddamnit.” Was all she could mutter as she sat back onto the cushion, looking up at the ceiling. 

“You wandered in about an hour ago. You didn’t say anything, just sat there so I thought I’d leave you be.” Bucky barely looked away from his novel as he explained the timeline.

“Why does this keep happening? I thought I figured it out. I just have to be tired enough that my body stays in one place all night. I woke up early, I trained extra today and I stayed up extra late, this is infuriating!” 

“Woah.” At that Bucky did put his book aside. “You’re intentionally sleep depriving yourself?” 

“Maybe…”

“Ava look, I know you want to get to the bottom of all this, but you can’t harm your health in the process. Have you thought of other possible explanations?”

“Well,” She paused, not wanting to tell him what Bob proposed as a hypothesis.

“Well what?” He pushed. 

“Last night…Bob said maybe I sleepwalk like this because I’m…lonely.” 

To her surprise he didn’t burst out laughing at the idea like she expected any sane person to do, he just hummed in thought.

“It’s definitely possible. Maybe your subconscious is so starved of human connection that in sleep it sends you off to find others. Have you ever left the building or have you woken up alone in a new place?”

“No.”

“It’s always with one of us here right?”

“Yes but-”

“Problem solved then. Ava just try to hang out with us more and connect with people more. Obviously your whole exhaustion technique didn’t work, so just give this new method a shot.” She opened her mouth to speak but he held up a hand and continued on.

“I know what it’s like to not be in control of your actions. I know how infuriating it can be. But you have a way to solve it, to figure it out. Try it.” His voice was kind, but firm. Suddenly the man sitting across from her actually seemed his age of over 100 years.

“Ok. I guess I could give it a shot.” At that the two exchanged small smiles. Bucky handed her a light blanket before picking his book back up. She stretched her legs across the couch, socks barely brushing him as she closed her eyes, letting sleep overcome her. 

~~~

In the days following, Ava trained, ate, hung out, and basically did everything with the team. She’d invited Yelena on a run one day and gotten ice cream with Bob another. She didn’t leave dinner early when they all ate together and she was the one to suggest an impromptu movie night. At said movie night she sat in the middle of the couch, making the others pause as she’d always secluded herself in an armchair, before settling around her. 

She eventually scaled back, realizing that the amount of time she was spending amongst others wasn’t sustainable, but she still made an effort to spend more time with them. 

Most nights from there on out she stayed in her bed, sound asleep the whole night, without travel. Some nights though, when they’d been particularly busy or separate, she found herself waking around someone else. 

Sometimes she was standing next to them, others curled at the foot of the bed, and some she sprawled out on the floor. Eventually they all got used to it, barely blinking when they found her there in the morning. If they woke in the middle of the night, they’d drape a blanket around her wordlessly. 

Slowly the embarrassment eased into bashfulness at the affection. It was more than she’d ever experienced before, but something she found herself not wanting to end. Though she’d found a solution, she didn’t mind waking in the company of someone else, and she had a suspicion they didn’t mind it too much either.

 

BONUS:

“Yeah well she’s phased into my room FOUR times now so obviously she likes me more.”

“Oh whatever, that’s just because your rooms are closer.”

“Nuh-uh, my rooms the farthest and she’s appeared in mine SIX times so HA!” 

Notes:

Ugh sorry for the late update!! Life has been crazy with work (AKA a 62 hour work week) and just busy life stuff.
Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long since I'll have a bit more free time coming up and I've already started it!! Cheers till next time!
X

Chapter 6: 6. A Mission Detour

Summary:

Yelena visits Ohio once more.

Oh, I can't seem to let myself leave you

But I can't breathe anymore

Oh, I can't seem to not need to need you

I can't breathe anymore

Repeat Until Death, Novo Amor

It wasn’t uncommon for the team to make a pit stop on their way back from a mission, usually to try some viral thing someone had seen (“No this Tiktok swears that this place has the best pizza, can’t we stop by? It's just a bit out of the way!”) Or to see a site one of them had never visited (“Oh that’s the Grand Canyon! I’ve never seen it before.” “Bucky turn the jet around, Bob’s never seen the Grand Canyon.”) 

However, when they had a rough mission or were just exhausted from their task, the jet was set to autopilot to take them straight home. That was why Yelena was so confused when they started to descend so soon after take off. They’d only left Kentucky barely 30 minutes prior, so there was no way for them to be back at the Watchtower already. Their mission had been long, mixed in with public affair events and duties Valentina put them up to in order to “improve their image” (hence why Bob was with them as their resident “Normal” person who was “Good for PR” as the public had no idea of his super powered alter ego.) In all, this left them exhausted and ready for rest, so a pit stop was very much out of the ordinary. 

“Why are we landing? Where are we?” Yelena was the only one to speak up, the only one to question what was going on, making her more suspicious. They all exited the plane, Alexei hanging back to beckon her forward. 

“Come Lena, come with us.” He stretched out his hand to her, inviting her to take it. She walked to him slowly, letting his hand engulf hers as they walked down the ramp. The landscape was immediately familiar, the abundant trees casting patterns of shade onto the ground. The leaves were just starting to turn shades of brown and red and orange, and the slight chill in the air left her shivering. Alexei pulled her out of the clearing the jet had landed in and through the familiar weaving of trees, rejoining them with the rest of the team gathered in front of one headstone. 

Her sister’s. 

Of course there had been large monuments and flashy spectacles after her death. But this small grave nearby their old house in Ohio was better than any of those. No one came there much and the only people who knew about it were the widows…and Clint…and Kate Bishop.

And now the rest of the New Avengers. 

Her eyes welled against her will and she quickly wiped them with the back of her hand. 

“What are we doing here?” Her voice warbled as her throat constricted.

“You mentioned that you hadn’t visited in a while and Alexei realized we’d be close during this mission, so we all thought we should stop.” Bob offered the explanation, nervously wringing his fingers together. 

Yelena dropped into a crouch, running a hand over the weathered name in the stone. There were fresh flowers as well as some crumbly dried ones. She pressed her forehead to the cool stone, swallowing down the lump in her throat. Out of the corner of her vision she saw an arm place a bundle of flowers down at the base of the stone, then another, and another, until there were five different bundles decorating the grave. 

She drew in a shaky inhale, trying to choke back a sob as Alexei placed a hand on her shoulder, drawing her up into his embrace. At that, she released the pent up tears she’d been clamping down. Gripping her father’s shirt, all that she’d been holding bubbled out of her like a horrible confession from her lips. 

In her childhood, in the Red Room, any emotion was a weakness and was strictly forbidden. To show this display of emotion in front of others was terrifying, but she couldn’t help it, it was all too much. The days of fighting and press appearances weighed on her, she was weary, and she was a girl who missed her sister. 

Yelena could feel another hand on her back and she blindly reached behind her, pulling them in. Soon Bob had joined the embrace and before long she was gesturing for the rest of them to join. She saw John and Ava exchange a look before shrugging and walking over, while Bucky lightly rolled his eyes with a small smile before taking his place. 

There was a part of her that found it humorous, imagining how someone might react if they stumbled upon them tucked away like this, all in a weird group hug among the graves. 

Once they had had enough, they untangled themselves from each other, laughing slightly as no one commenced on the fact that more than one of them had reddened and watery eyes. 

“Thank you all, that was, it was really nice. I needed that.” She tried to steady her breathing by taking deep breaths, still emotionally raw and exposed. 

“Of course, we’re a team now, and we need to take care of each other. A lot of us don’t have anyone else to do it.” Bucky had a wistful look in his eyes as he spoke, and the rest of them glanced around at the people before them, realizing the truth in his words. 

Slowly they filtered out, moving back toward the jet. They left Yelena alone to say goodbye and she crouched down once more. 

“I wish you could see who I’ve become, Natalia. I hope you would be proud.” At that she pressed a kiss to the top of the engraved stone and wet her lips to whistle into the breeze. 

Back on the jet, she paused before addressing Alexei.

“I mean, we’re close to our old house which means we’re close to…” She trailed off, letting him finish her sentence.

“SKYLINE!” 

“And…?”

“GRAETER'S!” 

“For old times sake? We can introduce these guys to Ohio cuisine.” Yelena grinned at the thought of the Cincinnati chains, nostalgic for the snippet of childhood she had been allowed. 

So that was how they ended up landing the jet in a strip mall parking lot, dividing and conquering by ordering enough cheese coneys to satisfy a small army and buying enough pints of ice cream to fill at least three freezers in the tower. The rest of the commute back to the tower was spent in a loose circle on the floor, passing different flavors around as they all tried the different pints, and pleasant surprise at the Cincinnati chili. 

That night Yelena went to bed exhausted but happy . And for the first time in a long time, her nostalgia and grief wasn’t stifling, the enjoyment of the present splitting through the usual fog. 

She didn’t know it then, but Ohio visits would become fairly regular, even if it was completely out of their way, not that she was complaining. 

Notes:

I'm back!! I'm gonna finish this thing if I have to strap myself to a chair and force myself to because I didn't put so much planning into it, just to abandon it. Mark my words.

Also, yes I am from Cincinnati so this was incredibly self indulgent and I 1000% headcannon that Cincy was where they were in Ohio for those years. Sue me for writing what I know.

Chapter 7: 7. Points of Contact

Summary:

Bob realizes what he needs.
TW: Mentions of throwing up and self deprecating thoughts

Oh, it's hard to believe

It's even irrational for me

I'm cynical, a mess

I'm touch starved and shameless

         Nomad, Clairo 

Touch didn’t come easy to the members of the New Avengers team. All of them were hesitant about it for one reason or another. Ava because she spent so much of her life in pain and phasing through things that touch seemed like too much of a luxury now. Alexei because he knew he could be too much or too strong, so he shoved that part of him deeper and deeper to make others feel more comfortable. John was a soldier, taught to not rely on others, taught to keep to himself more, he already saw himself as somewhat of a failure so there was no reason to show more weakness. Bucky and Yelena, well, former mind controlled assassins tend to have trouble with people getting close to them, emotionally or physically. 

The one who felt completely opposite from the rest of them, was of course, Bob. 

He didn’t always feel like that, in fact for a lot of his life he avoided physical contact when possible. Usually it came in the form of abuse or pain or came at a time when he was so high on something that his skin felt like it was vibrating across his body. 

That being said, his introduction and acceptance into the new team had unlocked something within him that he had been missing for so long. And now it felt like he was desperately trying to relish in the brief moments of contact that the other tower inhabitants provided him. 

There were the moments where John would clap him on the shoulder after a job well done. 

When Bucky would high five him when he guessed a plot twist in a book early. 

When Alexei would use him as a prop in telling his stories.

When Ava trusted him enough to fall asleep around him, oftentimes her head dropping onto his shoulder after a cup of tea. 

When Yelena pulled him into a hug, the arms around him nearly bringing him to tears. 

The rest of the team was oblivious to the effect that their touch had on him and he wanted to keep it that way. He didn’t want them to feel weird or pressured around him, he didn’t want to be a burden .

But that brought him to the current moment, where he was throwing up on the bathroom floor. 

He wasn’t a stranger to toilet bowls, he’d spent an unfortunate amount of his life throwing up in them. But this wasn’t from getting too drunk or taking too much of something, no, he’d had a nightmare…again. 

He thought they’d been getting better, or at least weren’t affecting him as much. Then his mind created some twisted reality where he snapped and killed the only people who’d truly shown him kindness, leading him to sprinting across the hall to expel his dinner. 

It was as if he could still feel their blood in his hands as they shook against the toilet seat and once he was sure he wasn’t going to throw up anymore, he pushed off to sit up against the wall. 

“It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t-” Was all he could think as he repeated the words to himself in hushed, frantic whispers. 

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, but it couldn’t have been long before a quiet voice spoke from the doorway.

“Bob?” Yelena stood there, blinking away the sleep in her eyes.

“Oh…yeah ‘lena.” He could barely get the words out as he raised his head to look at her. 

“You ok?” Her eyes darted about the scene, training kicking in to assess the “threat” at hand. 

“Uhm, not really actually I-” He realized he was still shaking. “Had a bad dream.” 

“Ah I see. I’ve been there.” She flowed with the grace of a dancer as she moved about, flushing the toilet, grabbing a cloth, wetting it with warm water, and settling across from him. Before he understood what was happening, she was gently wiping his face, cleaning any stray bile from his mouth. Even though it wasn’t truly physical contact, the tenderness of the action caused a stinging from behind his eyes to swell. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

He just shrugged, looking down. His brain kept replacing her face with the version of her he’d killed in his dream. 

“I’m sorry if I woke you up, I didn’t want to bother anyone.” 

“I know you didn’t, you never do…You know, you move around us like you’re afraid to ask for anything, but you can ok? You help us all so much, but we can help you too.” Her hand absentmindedly rested on his shoulder, thumb brushing across it. “Ok enough time on the floor, let’s get you back to bed.” 

Yelena stood and helped him up, guiding him to the sink to wash his hands while she waited by the door. She walked him the five steps across the hallway to his door, before fully throwing him off by wrapping her arms around his shoulders. 

Bob stiffened at the sudden contact, mind and synapses firing all at once as he processed it. Yelena must have taken that as a negative reaction though as she moved to pull away, only for him to snap into action, pulling her back in. He buried his face in her shoulder, tears once again pricking at his eyes.

“You said I could ask for anything…can I ask for this?” He wasn’t sure if he heard her, his voice muffled by the embrace, but after a moment he felt her nod and tighten her grip on him. 

After a long moment, long enough for his legs to start to tingle from lack of movement, they separated. Yelena smiled at him, a sadness in her eyes as she took him in. 

“Goodnight Bob.” She moved to return to her room next to his.

“Goodnight Yelena, thank you.” 

~~~

Over the next few days it became apparent to Bob that Yelena had said something to the others. Alexei gave him frequent enthusiastic hugs, John threw an arm around his shoulder when they walked somewhere together, Bucky’s pats on the back lingered, Ava let her knee press against his when they had tea, and Yelena hugged him goodmorning and goodnight. 

It was infuriating .

Did he love it? Yes, of course. Did he hate that they were forcing themselves to do something they didn’t want to do just to make him happy? Yes, of course. 

None of them were keen on physical contact and it drove him mad that they were putting themselves through it for him, he wasn’t worth it, wasn’t worth their effort. 

It all erupted one night at dinner, when John clapped him on the shoulder after he made a joke, but didn’t move to remove his hand, simply letting it rest there. 

Before he knew it, Bob was on his feet, chair pushed out behind him as he stood. The rest of the team looked at him, startled at the sudden outburst. Yelena was the one to speak as she stood, hands in front of her as if to placate him. 

“Bob-” 

“Don’t. I can’t do it, I just- please stop it.” His plea only got him confused looks from the people in front of him. 

“Stop what?” John was the one to propose the question from beside him.

“The touching! The constant touching and hugs and hands and- and everything!” 

“Woah, Bob I thought that after that night, that’s what you wanted, I thought you were asking for that?” Yelena’s brows were furrowed in confusion. “I would have never said anything otherwise, I’m sorry if I misinterpreted what you meant.” She sounded devastated at her perceived failure.

“No! I mean yes, yes that is what I wanted. I wanted this, but not at your expenses. None of you guys do this normally, so why are you torturing yourselves to help me? It’s not worth it, I’m not worth it.” He’s shouting now, voice pained in his confession. 

“You are.” Yelena stepped closer. “Bob, you are worth it. We are a team and teammates help each other, you helped teach me that.” 

“And, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t really mind it. I’m not “torturing” myself when I touch you.” John also stood. 

“Yes Little Bob, I enjoy giving you hugs, it is nice to have someone other than Yelena to hug.” Alexei also stood, clapping a fist against his chest. 

Ava and Bucky looked at each other, exchanging a good natured eye roll and smirk before standing as well. 

“Yeah, I spent most of my life isolated, it’s nice to remember what human contact is like.” Ava crossed her arms over her chest, a smile crooked on her face.

“What she said.” Bucky’s addition got a laugh from them, Bob’s morphing into a sniffle at the end.

“Thank you guys. I’m sorry about my outburst. I just- I didn’t want to be a burden. Are you really sure you don’t mind it?” He wiped his eyes, taking in the sight of those around him. The rest of them exchanged looks at the final question. 

Alexei led the charge, scooping him into a hug that left him breathless. Slowly more and more arms joined, threading through each other until they were fully interconnected. Six heartbeats at various speeds and matching breaths were the only noise as they held each other. While it wasn’t the first time they’d found themselves in this position, it felt different, like something was shifting within them all. 

~~~

That night, after they’d separated to finish dinner, Ava picked the next movie for them to watch. Bob was sat on the couch with Yelena on one side, John on the other. Alexei sat next to his daughter while Bucky and Ava were in their usual armchairs that had been pulled up to be flush with the couch. 

That night, Bob went to bed warmer than he’d ever felt. Though he felt lighter than he’d felt in years, he still found that sleep evaded him, at least until Ava wandered in asleep around 1:00 AM to curl up at the foot of his bed. 

Bob woke up in the morning 8 hours later, no bile in his throat, and no imaginary blood on his hands.

Notes:

Heyyyyyy sorry for the long hiatus. Really gonna try to finish this before I move back in for school so wish me luck. Let me know what you thought of this chapter! Love y'all!!

Chapter 8: 8. Photoshoots and Fanmail

Summary:

Snapshots of what it's like to be in the public eye. With a touch of feminism, of course.

Kodachrome

They give us those nice bright colors

They give us the greens of summers

Makes you think all the world's a sunny day, oh yeah

         Kodachrome, Paul Simon

Photoshoot day was no one’s favorite day. All the fussing, rushing around, hairspray, and weird clothes made the overall experience about as enjoyable as taking down a new villain of the week. None of them had expected this to become a regular part of their lives, all of them taken by surprise when Valentina announced they were doing one for the first time. The room had erupted into shouts at her statement. Protests came from every member, reasons varying, but the sentiment very much the same. Finally though, they’d given in after multiple lectures on their “PR image” and how it “needed vast improvement”. People wanted them to be more accessible, more visible to them, and to see them outside of the suits - they wanted to see the people behind the New Avengers team. 

The first photoshoot was a disaster. Ava kept accidentally phasing at the flashes, meaning she didn’t show up in the photos. Alexei knocked over multiple lights. Walker accidentally broke the arm off a chair. All while Yelena and Bob kept alternating between laughing at each other when they’d make eye contact and looking overly nervous. Bucky was the only one with composure, he had gotten used to these things while campaigning for Congress.

They’d only gotten one decent photo, the only one of all of them lined up in their suits...without Bob. (It was still the front page of the paper for multiple days.)

 

~~~

 

The next one ended up a bit better, all of them dressed in business suits with slight variations in colors or ties. They were still stiff and awkward in front of the cameras, not sure where to look or how to pose correctly. But there was more laughter, more genuine smiles at each other. 

This time there were multiple pictures published in a two page spread about them, including snippets of the interview they’d done before. The fan favorite one though was of all of them in various stages of laughter, some doubled over, others letting a smile crack the rough exterior the public was used to seeing. It was reposted and shared more than any other picture from the shoot.

 

~~~

 

Interviewer 1 : So, take us though the day of a New Avenger, what’s it like?

Yelena Belova : Well we wake up pretty early most days for training, unless we’ve just come back from a mission. Then we usually split off for most of the day, training, doing PR, splitting off for tasks and missions. The day after a mission or fight it is usually a lot of paperwork in the common room, passing forms back and forth. Then we typically have dinner together and sometimes a movie before bed. 

Interviewer 1 : The New Avengers have movie nights?

Yelena Belova : Admittedly yes, it was Ava er, Ghost,  that sort of started it, she has a whole list that we’re working through. 

Interviewer 1: You heard it here first folks, even superheroes have family movie nights!

 

~~~

 

A big magazine does a feature on Bob. The cover title reads “The Mysterious Civilian Avenger: Unmasked At Last!” Apparently the public had a lot of questions about him, likening him to a sort of emotional support animal for all of them. After the magazine came out, people began editing him on every social media possible, which they enjoyed tormenting him with by sending him links to. 

That was how the fridge started. 

It began as a joke, someone innocently put the front page of the magazine with Bob’s feature up with a magnet on the fridge in the kitchen. Then someone added one that Yelena did, then a group shot from a recent shoot they did. 

Then it evolved into the little drawings kids would run up to hand them, or letters sent to the tower thanking them. Soon they were running out of room, cramming as many things under one magnet as possible on the fridge, dishwasher, anything metal. 

John surprised everyone by turning one of the walls in the common area into a giant corkboard to transfer everything onto. None of them would ever admit it, but it became a sort of inspirational board, something to remind them of the good they were doing, something to show them they’d changed. 

 

~~~

 

Mel, still working for Valentina, had also become a staple in their lives, mostly helping run their PR. It was her idea to make a tower TikTok account, forcing them into filming training videos or a “Day In My Life” trend. These of course blew up, the public aching for any insight into the regular day to day lives of these superheroes. Of course there was plenty of criticism that came with being in the public eye. Fitness influencers claiming the women on the team had improper technique or form and that they "could beat any of the team in a fight". Thanos sympathizers claimed they were helping ruin the world and the Avengers should have ended with the blip. Not to mention the random nitpickers, always with a comment or insult ready for any member. 

They tried to let it roll off their backs. They’d faced so much worse in their lives, things way more horrific than words on a screen. That didn’t mean it was always easy, but it was easier together. 

 

~~~

Interviewer 1 : We had your daughter, Yelena Belova, on our show a few weeks ago. While here she revealed that your team has movie nights, is that true? And do you guys have any other traditions?

Alexei Shostakov : Yes it is true! We just watched, oh what was it…AH yes it was called The Perks of Being A Wallflower! We were all crying by the end. *Alexei sniffles at the memory* It was wonderful. 

Interviewer 1 : Well aren’t you all just surprise after surprise. Who knew The Winter Soldier would be moved by Logan Lerman!

 

~~~

 

It also became a sort of tradition to gather copies of their newest interviews or exclusives. They’d gather around to show them off and slightly poke fun at the topic of the article. Or it was a time for the person involved to give the background and behind the scenes for the whole ordeal.

“No, I’m telling you, they had be try on EIGHT different outfits before settling on this one.” Ava jabbed at the magazine in John’s hands, gesturing wildly as she paced around the room. “It was ridiculous! I mean, have any of you guys had to go through that?”

A chorus of “No?”s answered her question, broken only by Yelena’s “Yes.”

“What?” The blonde stood then too. “What do you mean no?”

“I usually have like 3 outfits tops, and all of them are used in the shoot.” Bucky chimed in from the stove where he was making dinner. 

“Yeah I mean one time they switched me to something different, but it was because I spilled coffee on my shirt.” John flipped to another page, seemingly oblivious to the realizations of those around him. 

“I have many clothes but that is because I like to go through all my options you know? Maybe I find the best one last, I must try them all.” Alexei just shrugged, similarly oblivious. 

“This is ridiculous. I go through at least 15 changes per shoot just to get to the final outfits. Not to mention them literally pinning me into the clothes to make them as tailored to me as possible.” Ava crossed her arms, turning to look at the other woman beside her. “This is ridiculous.” 

“I agree, we should do something about this.” Yelena nodded at her, taking a seat. 

They spent the rest of the night alternating between informing the rest of the team what it was like being female superheroes and coming up with something they could do. 

The main result was an article they did in Ms. Magazine, co-founded by Gloria Steinem. Their interview highlighted many of the small day to day discrepancies between their treatment vs. the rest of their teams, featured a female directed/styled photoshoot, and was used to raise money for multiple female-led causes they chose. 

It didn’t fix the issues, but it established a precedent, and imagined a future they would work toward. 

 

~~~

 

Interviewer 2 : It has been so wonderful getting to know you all tonight, but I want to direct this next question to our two lovely ladies here. Thoughts on settling down any time soon? Finding yourself a lovely man, maybe one of these lovely specimens here? Thinking of kids?

*Silence*

Yelena Belova : Well lets see, no man, no interest, and no uterus.

Ava Starr : I have one, not that it works, part of being a child experiment and agent I suppose. 

Interviewer 2 : Oh well that’s not quite what-

Yelena Belova : We’re done here. You had your chance to ask important questions, but clearly you’re just here to waste our time. *She stands to leave and the team follows.*

Interviewer 2: You can’t just leave! I didn’t even do anyth–

James Barnes : I suggest for your own sake you stop talking. 

That viral interview moment created a surplus of letters from young girls being sent in. 

They soon added another wall of corkboards for the amount of things they were receiving…maybe a whole room. 

Notes:

One of my majors is Women's and Gender Studies so of course I had to throw SOMETHING in there. I just can't imagine how shitty female heroes would be treated. Anyways! I also decreased the chapter count by one because I realized I really hated one of my chapter ideas/prompts so I scrapped it and brought it down, at least for now, who knows!
Sorry its been almost a month since I updated this!! I would like to say it won't happen again, but I literally move back to school tomorrow, so I won't make promises I can't keep.