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If Kei could’ve chosen between jail and Camp Green Lake, he would’ve taken jail.
But he didn’t get that choice. The other boys did, but they were all stupid. Kei knew full well that jail was the better option - at least in jail, there were too many people watching for the kids to get neglected. In Camp Green Lake, you were so far removed from the rest of the world, you may as well have been dead already. But Kei’s parents bribed the judge. So he was stuck. Typical.
When Kei had first arrived, he made the mistake of getting on everyone’s nerves. He’d argue that he couldn’t help it. It was essential to his nature, an intrinsic, impressive ability to piss everyone off. But in Camp Green Lake, where everyone was ready to let you keel over with dehydration, it wasn’t necessarily the smartest choice.
He had refused to dig the very first hole. When his counselor had handed him the shovel, Kei had flung it over his shoulder and stalked back to the cabins, marching straight into the counselor’s office and rummaging around. Kei had been mildly uneasy when the counselor hadn’t chased after him - he’d been certain that he was going to get shot, or at least yelled at - but he tried not to care. Though he wasn’t much for stealing, Kei helped himself to a burlap sack of sunflower seeds. He wasn’t hungry. It was just the message.
It almost got him in serious trouble after. Because, when Kei eventually wandered back to his cabin for dinner, he walked into a room full of other teenage boys that were ready to kill him. The counselor had made them each dig an extra hole, to make up for Kei’s insubordination.
Clever, Kei had thought frustratedly. Letting the other kids do damage. If it weren’t at his expense, Kei would’ve applauded it.
“You think you can just walk around and do whatever you want?” One of the boys snarled at him, grabbing the front of his tacky jumpsuit. His hair was dark, almost navy, and his eyes were a startling blue. But sand was speckled all over him, even on his eyelashes - Kei would find out later that they’d missed shower time because of the extra digging. “I’ll show you. You don’t walk in here and just trample all over me.”
“Get him, King!” Another boy crowed.
It was certainly a dangerous situation. Kei knew all about idiots, his knowledge practically encyclopedic. If one of these guys started hurting him, they’d all follow quickly after, a chain reaction. Sure, Kei was tall, but he was slight. And the boy’s grip on his tracksuit was so close to the skin that Kei swore he could feel bruising. Kei needed to diffuse the situation, and fast.
But he couldn’t help himself. He sneered down at the boy, making good use of their height difference.
“King?” He said mockingly, head cocking. “Oh, his poor majesty! Did your subjects not dig fast enough for you today?”
An uneasy ripple of snickers bubbled from the other boys. ‘King’ flushed at that, teeth gritting with rage. “You-!”
“Allow me to present you with an offering, my lord,” Kei continued to snark. He dug into his jumpsuit, where he’d stuffed the burlap sack of sunflower seeds, and shoved it into King’s chest, pushing him off with the shock of it. He glanced around at the other boys, who seemed dumb-founded. “I don’t like salt, anyway. Maybe the peasant people want it more.”
Though the boys all remained a little cool with him, the stealing of the sunflower seeds seemed to have earned Kei some respect. They started calling him Saltshaker. It was dumb, but what else could Kei expect from these guys? They were dumb enough to choose to come here. Some of them had even stupider names - Tangerine, Baldy, Samurai. One guy was even called Mr. Refreshing. And they were all so hopelessly buddy-buddy with each other, somehow friends in spite of the endless thirst, the hopelessness of their situation.
Sometimes, one or two of them would try and get to know him. Particularly Mr. Refreshing, who even went so far as to snag a can of soda from one of the other boys, to try and extend an olive branch.
“It’s from Captain’s stash, but I’m sure he won’t mind.” Mr. Refreshing grinned, the mole on his cheek moving alongside his smile. He held out the can to Kei, opened and garnished with a pink straw. “Come on, Saltshaker. The others are trying to figure out how to play poker. I’m sure someone as smart as you could win big with them.”
Kei had glanced disinterestedly at the can, before side-stepping Mr. Refreshing and stalking off. “No thanks. I’m watching my weight.”
Which, considering how little food there was here, was a ridiculous thing to say. Kei was actually really hungry most days - the camp food was disgusting, all canned mush, and his constant dehydration didn’t help. But he’d rather starve. He was above it all. Besides, watching the other losers choke down his portions and then groan as they tried to dig their holes was at least mildly entertaining.
Ugh, the digging. The digging was the worst part. Of course, that’s the intention - it’s a correctional facility, after all. Kei’s hands were always callused now, angry red blisters that burst anew every day. A forever sunburn dappled his pale face, the back of his neck, dead skin peeling painfully and fluttering into the holes he dug. And he was never without a thick sheen of sweat, uncomfortable trails of it crawling down his ribs. But the worst part was the humiliation. Each stab into the sand reminded him that he was no better than any other boy on this desert. That he could talk shit all he liked, but he could get broken down too.
Kei was always bristling with shame now, forever on edge. All he wanted was to lay down in one of his holes and die. But he kept digging, just like everyone else.
About a month after Kei’s arrival, a new boy showed up.
Kei had been the first to finish up that day. He’d taken a few fake-gemstones off the clutch that his mother had sent with him and tossed them into the hole, pretending that he’d dug them up. That was one of the rules at Camp Green Lake - if you found something of interest, show it to the counselor for a chance to get a day off. Kei wasn’t the least bit surprised that a place like this was inauthentic, that it merely used the boys under the guise of rehabilitation. But as long as Kei could win within their parameters, he didn’t care. He’d just have to be careful to hide the clutch.
Kei scoffed now, looking at it. It was an expensive thing, delicate, fine lambskin and imitation jewels, carrying an equally expensive sewing kit within. His mother had thought it was impressively sentimental - her eyes had welled up as she’d given it to Kei, her clumpy mascara starting to run.
“You must keep looking your best,” she’d wept. “You have our last name. Don’t forget that, my dear.”
Of course, when Kei was going to spend eighteen months at a correctional institute, his mother’s only concern was the family’s reputation. He shoved the clutch under his disgusting mattress, hoping the smell of old milk would seep into the material - Kei wondered what she’d think if she heard the boys calling him Saltshaker.
He didn’t miss her much. But he figured writing to her was the best way to get some decent food mailed. And, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he did at least miss Akiteru.
Kei struggled with the letter. What was there to write about Camp Green Lake? The fact that the name was a sick joke and this place was a hellish wasteland? The fact that he was always dizzy with dehydration and hunger?
This place sucks, I want to die, send Akiteru to kill me xoxo, Kei scrawled, mostly as a joke to himself. He snickered under his breath, getting ready to scratch it out and try again.
“A-ki-ter-u.”
Kei nearly jumped out of skin, whipping around at the stranger’s voice. He hadn’t even heard anyone walking in, let alone get close enough to read over Kei’s shoulder.
His heart dropped when he saw the new boy.
Juniper hair fell in gentle flutters around his face, skin sepia, soft, cheeks flushed maple with the heat. His eyes seemed to bloom at the sight of Kei, hot and tawny, ripe with sharp intellect. But the best part was his freckles: pine needles over soft forest floor, flourishing all over him, each one a fresh sapling embedding into Kei, hopeless attraction growing like vines throughout him.
He couldn’t breathe for a beat. The boy embodied petrichor, the raw soothe of nature. And, after spending so long in a barren, heat-frizzled wasteland, the sight of the boy struck Kei like a mirage, unabashed want rushing through him. An embarrassing amount of drool flooded his mouth - Kei swallowed, red-faced.
“Aki-teru.” The boy said again. He bowed over the table, face close to Kei’s, brow furrowing at the letters. His jaw was sharp, handsome. Kei couldn’t even begin to think sensibly. “Akiteru. I-is that a word?”
If it had been any of the other boys, Kei would have sent them running off, cutting them down fast with succinct derision. But he could barely breathe, just looking at this boy, at the faint smell of pine that lingered on his collar.
“It’s a name,” he mumbled, grateful that his voice didn’t shudder. “My brother’s.”
“Oh! That makes more sense,” The boy blinked bashfully at Kei, lashes long, eyes glittering. “I’m sorry. For, um, snooping like that. I haven’t seen someone my age write in awhile, so I got curious.”
“...are you illiterate or something?” Kei droned, staring down at the desk. If he looked at the boy for too long, he was sure he was going to pass out. Keep it together, idiot.
“Not entirely,” The boy traced at Kei’s penmanship, mouthing the words silently. His freckles spilled down to his wrists too. “The school I went to, it was weird. Catholic. You were supposed to memorize verses from recitation, not from reading.”
“Ah. No red flags there.”
The boy snickered, birdsong to Kei’s ears. “Oh, for sure.”
Kei couldn’t help grinning too. He finally let himself look at the boy properly. “So? You’re the latest victim here?”
“Seems like it.” The boy sat on the table Kei was writing at, legs swinging gently. He wasn’t in the regulation uniform yet, so his shorts rode up as he sat, thighs thick and shiny with sweat. Kei thought his glancing was subtle, but from the light amusement in the boy’s face, it evidently wasn’t. “I’m Tadashi.”
Pretty. “Kei.”
“Kei.” Tadashi sounded, feeling the words. Kei caught a brief glance at his tongue as he spoke, pink and shiny, soft. “Like K-a-y?”
Kei shook his head, scribbling it onto the page. He tapped at each letter, pen shaking in his hands. “Like this.”
“K-e-i…” Tadashi tried, tracing again. “I like it.”
Kei shrugged, though he could feel himself blushing. Somehow. He’d thought he was too sunburned, but Tadashi had him flushing hotter and hotter.
“What got you here, then?” he asked, tapping his pen, fidgeting.
Tadashi smiled at him. A lock of hair fell from behind his ear, kissing smooth along his jaw. Something alluring shone in his expression, the undeniable mystique of a meadow, calling to Kei. He may as well do a ‘come hither’ motion with his hand. Or not. Had he less sense, Kei would’ve crawled over then and there.
“Give me another word and I’ll show you.”
Weird. But weird worked on Kei, upsettingly well. He held Tadashi’s gaze for a beat before snorting. “Fine.”
He twirled the word faggot in fancy penmanship, scrawling a delicate heart beside it.
Tadashi took a single glance before he burst out laughing, throwing his head back. It's as though his whole body lit up, sunlight dappling through the leaves, leaving him glowing, gorgeous. Kei bit back his gasp, feeling stupid. It’s just an attractive guy. Why did Kei feel so breathless?
“I know that word. Forwards and back.” Tadashi grinned, legs swinging. Kei didn’t dare to consider it, but it almost seemed like flirting.
“Top of the class,” He scoffed, earning him another light snicker. “Deal’s a deal. Tell me what you’re here for.”
With a sly look, Tadashi dug in his pocket, before dropping something onto the table.
The clutch.
Kei gaped at it, taken aback. “How…did you even…?”
Humming, Tadashi hopped off the table, and then tapped lightly at his pulse point.
“I get a feeling, right here. When there’s something I need to take.”
Kei stared at the spot. A soft cluster of freckles were decorated there, practically crooning to Kei. “Need?”
Tadashi shrugged, eyes raking over Kei. “None of us are here because we’re perfect.”
“Tadashi!” The counselor called, catching sight of the two of them and scowling. “You’re not meant to go anywhere without express permission. Come back here.”
“Coming!” Tadashi said sweetly, though he rolled his eyes. It was kind of hot. He didn’t look back at Kei, but he did skim his knuckles over Kei’s own pulse point, just barely touching his jaw. “See you around.”
Kei couldn’t possibly respond, his whole body warming at the simple contact, eyes wide as he watched Tadashi walk out of the wreck room. It wasn’t until he went to throw the paper out that he noticed his pen was freshly missing. Smooth.
He couldn’t get Tadashi out of his head as he hid the clutch and papers beneath his bed. Without much else to do, he took to wandering around, wondering if Tadashi was going to be in his cabin. His pulse point still felt like it was sparkling - he rubbed at it faintly, chasing the warmth of Tadashi’s fingers.
What would bring someone like Tadashi here? Kleptomania cases weren’t common, because they usually just did the community service. It must’ve been really bad. The thought only invited more intrigue though, frustrating. Kei couldn’t believe how ridiculous he was being, but the ease of thinking of Tadashi felt so good, nice and soft. He sat on the veranda of a different cabin, watching the side of the desert that people weren’t digging on.
Eventually, he heard commotion from behind him. Sighing, Kei decided to amble back. Even if you did technically get the day off, lazing freely wasn’t appreciated by the counselors. And admittedly, he was curious as to what was going on.
“I bet it was one of the kids from B!” One of Kei’s cabin mates, Guardian Deity, was shouting, making threatening motions to B’s cabin. “We’ve gotta get ‘em back good.”
“What’s going on?” Kei droned, unable to see properly. With all the sand, Kei’s glasses were forever dirtied, useless most of the time. The fabric of the jumpsuits didn’t wipe them off properly. He glanced at Mr. Refreshing, who was stifling laughter.
“Er, hey, Saltshaker.” Mr. Refreshing pointed to the side of the cabin. “Was this you?”
What was? Kei squinted at the cabin. On the side, F Cabin was inscribed in block lettering, but someone had scratched more letters with pen ink, changing it to Faggot Cabin instead. Kei bit the inside of cheek, fighting not to snort.
“Oh, wow,” a familiar voice chirped from behind him. Kei turned around, heart soaring at the sight of Tadashi. Somehow, he made the jumpsuit look good. Unbelievable. “I didn’t expect this place to be so progressive.”
Tadashi caught Kei’s eyes, grinning sneakily. Kei couldn’t help grinning back.
“What’s it even mean?” Tangerine asked, butting in between them. “Ooh, newbie. Hi!”
Tadashi waved down at him. “Hi.”
“It means ‘cool guys’ in French,” Kei said, before anyone else could correct him. He could see Tadashi fighting hard not to laugh in his peripheral vision. The sight made his blood pump harder, happier. Like there was an extra layer of satisfaction in something if it also pleased Tadashi.
Tangerine stared hard at the writing, thinking, concentration intense. Kei leaned close to Tadashi’s ear, the two of them tall enough that Tangerine wouldn’t catch it.
“His hair gets redder for every brain cell he fries,” he muttered, and Tadashi was really struggling now, hand clamped to stifle his snorting.
Finally, Tangerine turned around, a big beam on his face. He put his hands on his hips confidently.
“Fah-goot Cabin!” He said, a hopeless attempt at a French accent layered thick onto the words. Kei and Tadashi howled with laughter, clutching each other, much to the upset of Captain.
With that, Tadashi was quickly accepted into Cabin F. Considering that his jury consisted of juvenile delinquents, most of Cabin F was gleefully delighted with his stunt, quick to indoctrinate him into their little group. Though it gnawed at Kei, to see Tadashi so easily fit in with everyone else, it made the fact that he always came back to Kei twice as gratifying, a new, warm feeling settling in his throat whenever Tadashi came to stand beside him.
With all the following around, the other boys started calling him Pepperface. Kei was silently outraged, but when Tadashi delighted to him over how they matched now, he set his frustrations aside. To him, they always matched - but if Tadashi was okay with it, Kei could begrudgingly feel the same.
That very first night Tadashi arrived, Kei awoke to a startlingly cool feeling on his face. He blinked blearily in the dark - though he didn’t have his glasses, he could still see the vague planes of Tadashi’s face, his heart pounding all the same. He was sitting beside Kei on his cot, spreading something soothing on his face.
“...hey?” Kei muttered.
He could just about make out Tadashi’s grin, the way the moonlight caught in his sharp teeth. “Hi.”
“I feel like we’re moving a little fast.”
Tadashi giggled, a sweet sound that made Kei’s heart thud. “It’s sunscreen.”
“And where’d you get that?”
“Stole it from the counselor,” Tadashi dragged a trail of it down Kei’s pulse point, and he couldn’t help but shiver under the touch. “I felt bad, seeing your burns.”
“You’ll get them too.”
Tadashi’s knuckles dragged up Kei’s throat, cool, thrilling. Kei couldn’t breathe, not without digging heavy pressure into his neck.
“Then you'll help me with mine, yeah?”
Feeling mindless, Kei just shrugged. “Whatever.”
Tadashi stalked off after that - frustratingly, his cot was at the opposite end of the cabin - leaving Kei alone in the dark, blushing at the leftover scent of sunscreen and pine.
The digging got harder. The first few days at Camp Green Lake, newcomers would learn how to burn, blister, how to scar their hands with deep, angry calluses. Kei’s own palms were frustratingly sensitive - the calluses never healed properly into toughened skin, leaving him with thick scabs that would bleed freshly every day.
It was terrible, seeing the way the camp scarred Tadashi. Though it was more subtle, his cheeks had also darkened with sunburn, pimple-scarred skin peeling painfully in the sun. There were no bandages at Camp Green Lake - hell, Kei couldn’t even remember if he’d seen a single medical supply since he’d got here - so Tadashi had to peel off the white shirt he’d wear under his jumpsuit and tear it to scraps, fashioning gauze around both of his hands. To watch Tadashi bleed, burn, to have to grimace when he smiled because his skin hurt, to ache and struggle as he dug with the rest of them, it was hard for Kei to see.
It was also really fucking sexy. That was a little worse.
Kei couldn’t help it. It’s as though the heat made Tadashi even prettier, skin bronzing to smooth oak, freckles even more prominent, concentrating on his shoulders, his neck, even scattering to his eyelids. He kept his hair tied in a half-do as he dug, delicate tendrils slipping out as he panted through the digging, sweat dripping off his skin and forearms tensing. Kei couldn’t resist staring when they started digging, savoring every glance before they disappeared into their respective holes.
Tadashi was good at finding things. During his first week, he’d excitedly run over to Kei while they were all in the middle of digging. Usually, Kei felt nothing but relentless exhaustion when he dug, the muggy air making him irritable - most people stayed clear of Kei when he dug, lest he cut them deep with a sharp retort. But to see Tadashi beaming hazily down at Kei from above, hair haphazard and sweat disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt…Kei couldn’t help but look up, albeit tiredly, resting his hands on the handle of his shovel.
“Look!” He said, kneeling against the perimeter and holding out a small, flat rock to Kei. It was a fossilized fish, bones thin but definite. Kei examined it closely, at the shapes of its bones, the careful curve of its spine. He’d always considered the name Camp Green Lake to be a colossal joke, but maybe there really had been a lake here once. “Isn’t it cool?”
“Very cool.”
“Think the counselors will give me the day off?”
“Doubt it,” Kei took the fish, turning it around to examine it closely. “I don’t know what they’re looking for, but it’s something specific. Only time I’ve ever gotten a day off was when I found some jewels.”
“Jewels?”
“Not for real. The decorative ones on my mother’s clutch.”
“Huh,” Tadashi hummed, pushing hair out of his face. It kept sticking with the sweat. Kei ached to reach out and run his fingers through it. “Keep it, then.”
Frankly, Tadashi could have handed him some shriveled weeds and Kei would have beheld them all the same, but the fossil made him feel fuzzier, like he was blurring into a mirage. The fish was small enough to keep in his pocket - it swam up and down his thigh at all hours, looping round and round him. Kei couldn’t help but pretend it was somehow Tadashi’s touch, thrillingly hot as the rock bumped against his hip.
Their closeness did not go unnoticed. They were stood side-by-side in the lunch line, snickering over the way Tangerine and King bickered in front of them - they'd managed to spill all their food down their jumpsuits, but still yelled as though nothing happened.
“You two got friendly,” the counselor remarked flatly, dunking disgusting ladles of food onto their tray. Kei grimaced. “Lot in common?”
Tadashi smiled pleasantly. He had that knack. All he did was bat his lashes and turn his head, and everyone lapped it up. Kei could certainly attest to that.
“Oh, Saltshaker’s been great. Showing me around, introducing me to everyone.”
“Right...” The counselor glanced at Kei, terse. “I do hope you know what you’re getting into, Tadashi. Kei’s told you all about why he’s here, right?”
Kei tensed up, the smell of the cafeteria slop congealing fast and making him feel sick. He hadn’t told Tadashi. Actually, he hadn’t told anybody. Nobody besides the counselors knew.
In the simplest terms, it was breaking and entering. But the manner Kei went about it seemed to trouble everyone around him, annoyingly so. He had little trouble picking locks, strolling into stranger’s houses. Sometimes while they were still home. There wasn’t a calling or innate desire to do so, like with Tadashi and his stealing.
Kei was just bored. So helplessly, painfully bored. With life, with people, with everything.
It was funny seeing what he could get away with. What made people gasp and stagger. He’d break into homes and re-arrange furniture, turn all the paintings upside down, take all the flowers out of their pots, lay all the kitchen utensils on the floor, draw on mirrors with make-up, just senseless stuff. Sometimes, if the people were still home, he’d lounge about, out of sight, amused at how easily they failed to notice him. But he’d never stolen anything, not once.
It had baffled the authorities when he inevitably got caught. They’d kept him in interrogation for hours and hours, searching for a motive that just wasn’t there. Apparently, his disposition was so disturbing that he wasn’t even initially offered the opportunity of going to Camp Green Lake. Kei thought it was all a tad bit dramatic, but his mother had said he was lucky the judge relented at all.
Maybe Tadashi would understand, if he told him. But not right now. Not in front of everyone, who would doubtless badger him with query after comment after stupid exclamation.
“He’s told me all about it,” Tadashi lied breezily. “I think it’s cool.”
“Well, you guys are just two peas in a pod, huh?” The counselor sniffed. “Get out of my line.”
They’d retired to the wreck room instead of the mess hall, secluded away from everyone. Kei lounged on the worn-out sofa, while Tadashi stood, leaning his hip on a pool table.
Though silent, an extra slice of white bread slid onto Kei’s plate. He was about to refuse it, until he saw that Tadashi still had his own.
“Swiped it from the loser.” Tadashi said, mouth full. “The food’s way better if you soak it up in the bread. Less pungent.”
Kei stirred his food around with the bread, feeling warm. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t think straight, mind flickering in the wake of Tadashi. As frustrating as the lack of control felt, Kei couldn't resist how much he loved it. Like he was going crazy. He wondered if this was how addicts felt.
“I didn’t even notice you taking the bread.”
Tadashi shrugged, smiling. “It’s not good, but I’m good at it.”
They ate silently for a beat, listening to the lizards hissing outside, the faint yelling from the mess hall. Kei wondered how he could thank Tadashi, for not trying to pry into his life. Maybe he could give him the clutch. Tadashi seemed to take a liking to it - he’d pleaded for Kei to teach him how to do a basic ladder stitch, though he had liked watching Kei sew more than he liked learning. Maybe Kei could sew him something. Was that stupid?
Kei opened his mouth, to start to ask what Tadashi may have wanted, when Tadashi let out a low groan. His plate clattered against the pool table when he put it down, wiping idly at his neck.
“God, doesn’t it ever rain here?” He complained. “Or at least get cooler?”
“Go steal a rain cloud.”
“Har, har.”
But the joke was on Kei. Tadashi tugged his hair tie out, running his hands through the frizzy locks. “It feels like my hair’s soaking up all the sweat.”
Kei tried not to stare, bouncing his knee. “I could pull it.”
Tadashi gave him a funny look.
“Wringe it out, I mean,” Kei corrected, a shameful flush stirring up his stomach. “Like a towel.”
“Are you calling my hair raggedy?” Tadashi teased, eyes glinting knowingly. Kei didn’t say anything else, biting his tongue with humiliation.
It just got worse. Tadashi undid the top of his jumpsuit, shoving it down to his waist and tying the sleeves to keep it hoisted. He’d kept tearing up his undershirts to use as gauze around his hands, so the counselors stopped giving him any, leaving his tanned skin on full display for Kei.
Kei was used to shirtless boys. It was a juvenile correctional facility, and none of these boys had an ounce of decency to start with. But that didn’t mean he liked it. In fact, It made him grimace, the senseless obsession with nakedness, the awful smell that never seemed to leave the camp.
But Kei couldn’t tear his eyes off Tadashi. Slim sinew stretched down his chest, his waist, silk-like, muscle subtle but tautly layered around his lithe frame. His chest looked soft to the touch, curving subtly, braced by flushed collarbones, shoulders twitching with smooth thew. And his freckles, God, they scattered as far as Kei had hoped, thick speckles all over his frame, moving as he sighed, like leaves in a careful breeze. Kei certainly felt winded, breathing hard.
Tadashi glanced at him, side-long. Kei wondered if the dehydration had finally done permanent damage. He avoided Tadashi’s eyes, pretending to be suddenly invested in his gross food.
“Ah…hey,” Tadashi began softly. “I just-”
“It’s in my hair! It’s in my hair!”
“Suck it out!”
“Suck out the scorpion?!”
“Does it have anti-suck powers or something?”
“Anti-what? What do you know that has anti-suck powers, moron?!”
Kei and Tadashi barely had time to look up in bewilderment before the door to the mess hall got trampled off its hinges, a flurry of cabin F boys racing in and panickedly scrambling around. Tangerine was flailing the most, hopping around in terror as a scorpion clung to his hair.
“Saltshaker! Pepperface! Do something!” He wailed, shaking his hair rabidly.
With that, Kei lost Tadashi’s attention for the time being, left seething with jealousy as he watched him cluck around Tangerine. It was embarrassing, but he couldn’t help it. Tadashi made everything bearable. Tadashi made everything seem possible. His presence alone did so much more for Kei than any correctional camp could ever hope to do.
It’s why he didn’t go to sleep that night. Kei had been laying in his cot, burrowing under his disgusting thread-bare blankets, unable to sleep. Their time together would come to a close eventually. Tadashi’s sentence was almost twice as long as Kei’s. Their counselor frequently gathered the boys in a circle to talk positively, to encourage them to think about their futures. Every time he’d been prompted, Kei never offered anything more than an eye-roll or dry comment.
But ever since he’d met Tadashi, that had rapidly changed. What he wanted is whatever kept them together. Whatever Tadashi wanted, he’d do it. Maybe that was dangerous thinking, but it wasn’t a lie. Kei tossed and turned in his cot, heart roaring in his ears.
There was a faint shuffle from somewhere in the cabin, the soft patter of footsteps. Kei slowly peeked his head out from his dingy blanket, straining to see in the dark, over the faint rise and fall of the other boys. A familiar silhouette stood in the doorframe, left ajar to invite the cool night air in.
Kei fumbled for his glasses and slipped from his cot, slinking up to Tadashi.
“Planning to run?”
Tadashi jumped, eyes wide, before laughing shakily. “God, you scared me, Kei.”
That was another thing. They called each other by their silly nicknames in front of the others - more as a joke, than anything - but when it was just them, they were Kei and Tadashi again. It made it worse. It’s like Kei’s name was a dirty secret that Tadashi was bragging about, slipping hot down his neck and curling around each rib. Kei rested an arm on the doorway, trying to steady himself.
“They’re not going to stop you from running, but it’s not a good idea,” Kei went on, looking towards the empty horizon, the dark holes that stabbed into the ground. “This place has the only water for miles.”
“I’m not running,” Tadashi said, arms crossed. He jutted his head to the other side, where the counselor’s cabins were. Kei hadn’t noticed, but there was a police car parked there. Though the lights were off, several officers were speaking to the counselors, their shadows visible through the windows. “Something’s going on.”
“Happens every few months, apparently,” Kei shrugged. “Cops come and nothing happens.”
“Yeah, but the Warden’s there, too.”
“Is she?”
Tadashi nodded, biting at a hangnail. “They all look…occupied.”
Occupied? Kei looked at Tadashi quizzically. Though his hair was sleep-ruffled and his eyebags were dark, his eyes were utterly alight, chestnut burning, a rushed rise-and-fall in his chest and his cheeks just barely pink.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Tadashi glanced at the opposite end of the campsite, at the Warden’s cabin. “There’s something there.”
“What?”
“I don’t know. Something.”
“...right.”
Without thinking, Kei reached out to rest two fingers on Tadashi’s pulse point, marveling at how hot it was thrumming, his whole body on fire. Tadashi didn’t even jolt, only turning to blink up at Kei, eyes brimming with something hot.
“Let’s go to her cabin, Kei,” he pleaded. “I just want to see.”
“Yeah, ‘see,’” Kei muttered, but Tadashi’s earnestness was so blunt it made him reel. “Tadashi, what’s going to be there that isn’t in any other cabin?”
“Please, Kei?” Tadashi slipped both his arms around one of Kei’s, his chin on his shoulder, plaintive. “Don’t make me go alone.”
As if Kei could do anything but crumple like paper. He pretended to huff, eyes rolling. In reality, if he stared at Tadashi for a beat too long, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. “Fine.”
It wasn’t hard, really, to slip across the campsite. The counselors, the Warden, the officers, they all buzzed around the main hall, yelling amongst themselves. As Kei jogged after Tadashi in the dark, he couldn’t help glancing at the commotion. If there was some sort of trouble and he and Tadashi were caught in the Warden’s cabin, it wouldn’t be difficult at all to implicate them. Two juvies, twin criminal records, clearly not responding to the rehabilitation…and it’s not like it was in Tadashi’s best interest to have his habits indulged. Nor Kei’s, despite how good it felt. Maybe he should-
“Kei?”
Kei glanced back instantly. Tadashi was staring at him, worried, crouched behind the water pump. He held out a hand towards Kei, and Kei only hesitated a beat before clasping it, letting himself get tugged down.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I just…” Kei tongued at his teeth. How could he explain it? The way Tadashi scratched the same itch that crime did, the way that every second spent with him felt like Kei was shattering the judicial system, delirious glee piling higher and higher in his mind? “I’m just tired.”
“It feels good, right?” Tadashi murmured, excited. This close, Kei could easily see the pink flush in his face, feel his breath as he spoke. “They tell us it's wrong, to do stuff like this. But it feels so good, Kei. And nothing else makes me feel good. Why shouldn’t I get to feel good?”
Sometimes, Kei is reminded why exactly they’re attending a correctional facility. This is one of those times. He could point out a hundred logical fallacies in Tadashi’s words. And, if Kei were any good, if there was anything right about him, he’d grab Tadashi by the shoulder and march him back to their cabin. Send him to a counselor. Tell him that he needed help and Camp Green Lake was the place to get it.
But Kei wasn’t here because he was right. Kei was here because he was wrong, wrong, wrong. Wrong, because the feeling of guilt that should consume him was immediately smothered by the matchless glow of Tadashi’s eyes, by the way he squeezed Kei’s hand, the way they breathed into each other’s space behind the water pump.
“You should get to feel good,” Kei eventually muttered. Tadashi grinned, wide, a little too much teeth to be entirely sound. But Kei savored it. If rehabilitation was never going to work for him, why not fall headfirst into the relentless lunacy? Why not welcome the way Tadashi made him feel? The sweat beneath Kei’s collar was so endless that it nearly choked him, and he’d be a dirty liar if he said he wanted anything less.
They continued running towards the Warden’s cabin, weaving between tents and buildings to conceal themselves, before they eventually reached the front door. The sounds of yelling were vague now, the flitter of movement far enough in the distance that they became less daunting. Kei and Tadashi stood in front of the door, catching their breath.
“Think it’s locked?” Tadashi panted, hand hovering in front of the handle.
“Definitely.”
Tadashi tried the handle. It didn’t budge much. “Damn it. How’d you know?”
To be entirely honest, Kei had done this enough that he could just tell now, but he still couldn’t help but hesitate to divulge that. “I wouldn’t leave my front door unlocked around a bunch of delinquents.”
“I wouldn’t call us ‘delinquents,’ Kei,” Tadashi giggled shakily. “But yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
“She probably has the key on her, too.”
“Should we go take it?”
“From what? Her pocket? Are you crazy?”
“I could easily do it,” but Tadashi relented, biting his nails again, looking around the front of the cabin. “How about we break the door? The window?”
“You’re really out of it now,” Kei said. It was intended more as a chide, but as he spoke, he couldn’t help but wonder how much truth there was to it. He gingerly pulled Tadashi’s hand away from his mouth. “Leave your nails alone. I’ll get the door open.”
Tadashi blinked at him, before nodding knowingly. The feeling of being seen so clearly roped a perplexing sensation around Kei’s throat, like a hazy noose, braided with intimacy and shame and marvel. “...okay, Kei.”
Kei examined the lock carefully, a shaking rush flooding over him. How long had it been? Besides the Warden’s cabin, there weren’t regular locks on any of the doors at Camp Green Lake. As much as Kei didn’t want to admit it, he mourned the sight of a deadbolt, a lever handle, a mortice lock, the way they glimmered out to him, their gleam the only respite that Kei ever seemed to find anymore. Before Tadashi, that was. Locks could go to hell for all he cared anymore, but if Tadashi wanted this one opened, Kei wouldn't refuse.
It was a classic screw in lock. Easy enough. Kei patted himself down, though he knew damn well he didn’t have anything useful for picking on him. Given his history, the counsleors were always sharp when searching his person.
He looked hopefully at Tadashi. “Do you wear bobby pins?”
Tadashi ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head. “No…”
Kei cursed under his breath, looking around. He caught sight of Tadashi’s hands, still wrapped in makeshift gauze. “How are those holding up?”
“The gauze? I mean, I have to replace it every few days, but I don’t think the counselors notice me stealing shirts.”
“No, no- like, are they tied? Taped? How are they staying on your hands?”
Tadashi raised his hands, turning them to show- safety pins!
“How’d you get those?” Kei grinned, gently taking Tadashi’s hands into his own, examining them. The slim metal clasped the gauze together, firm.
“One of the counselors used them on her sun hat,” Tadashi smiled back to him, letting Kei unpin them, shaking his hands to let the gauze unravel. “I just wanted the flower that they were clasping to, but I figured I’d take ‘em anyway.”
“Good job,” Kei murmured, skin burning at the little tremble that goes through Tadashi. Unlike Kei’s own, the calluses on Tadashi’s hands had healed beautifully. Maybe it was a little wrong to think so, but Kei couldn’t help it, the pink criss-cross of scars on Tadashi’s palms almost pretty. Kei dragged his fingers over them briefly, before catching Tadashi’s eyes and quickly retracting, embarrassed. “Don’t forget to pick up the gauze.”
He fiddled with one of the safety pins, bending it out of shape, and used the other as tension, sticking them both into the lock. The air was quiet, save for the sound of clicking as Kei worked with the pins and the bated hush of Tadashi’s held breath.
“I doubt you’ll be able to use these again after,” Kei said, still jiggling the pins.
Tadashi shrugged. “Maybe it’s time I stopped wearing the gauze.”
Before Kei could respond, a satisfying rhythm of clicks sounded, and the door slowly swung inward.
“I knew you could do it,” Tadashi said excitedly. Kei felt himself blush at that. He delicately slid the ruined pins out from the lock, shoving them into a pocket, before motioning for Tadashi to follow him inside.
Of course the Warden’s cabin had air-conditioning. Both Kei and Tadashi let out an audible sigh, luxuriating in the smooth, cool air. The space immediately opened into a bedroom-slash-living space, and off to the side Kei could see a bathroom, complete with a vanity. There wasn’t anything particularly interesting though. As I expected.
“Well, Tadashi?” Kei clicked his tongue, lazily putting his hands into his pockets. His heart was still beating with the thrill of it all, but he tried to steady himself. “What are you looking for?”
“I…don’t know,” he muttered, marveling as he stepped delicately throughout the cabin, careful not to disrupt or move anything. “I thought something would be here.”
Kei decided to step back and let Tadashi explore, choosing to recline back on a large armchair. It sagged fast, well-worn with use.
“She has makeup!” Tadashi called from the bathroom.
“Really, now?” Kei deadpanned, glancing warily at the shut door. From inside the cabin, it was difficult to gauge whether anyone was approaching or not. “Hurry it up, Tadashi.”
“Hold on!”
There was a clattering from the bathroom, the sound of drawers opening and closing, things falling, before Tadashi hurried out. “Alright, let’s go.”
Kei mimed a finger gun, aiming for Tadashi. “Show me your pockets.”
“Kei!” But Tadashi was giggling, hands up in mock-surrender. “Are you going to rat me out?”
“No, but whatever you took, you should probably put it back.”
“I will! Later, though,” Tadashi argued, digging in his pocket and brandishing a small, gold tube. It glinted in the faint moonlight that streamed into the room. Tadashi held it up closer to his face, squinting. “K-B…what’s that?”
“K-B?”
“It’s inscribed on the side here, in a heart.” Tadashi twirled the tube round and round, dragging his nail on the inscription. “It’s cool.”
“As long as she’s not going to miss it, fine. Let’s go.”
Tadashi popped the lid off the tube, revealing a creamy tube beneath it. He dragged a line of it on the back of his hand.
“Ahh. It’s lip balm, Kei.”
“Great. We’re risking our lives for lip balm,” Kei droned, but he swallowed tightly as he watched Tadashi drag it experimentally over his own lips. The pigment wasn’t strong, even less distinguishable in the din of the cabin, but it left an unmistakable sheen on Tadashi’s lips, plush. Kei blinked hard, trying to ground himself, hands digging into the sides of the armchair. “It’s pretty elaborate for lip balm, isn’t it?”
“Might’ve been lipstick, originally. The lip balm looks like it got shoved in. It’s pretty unstable.”
“So she’ll definitely notice its absence-” Kei started, but it withered away on his tongue, drying up as Tadashi walked towards him. He stepped slowly between Kei’s legs, knees bumping into the armchair. Languid, he draped his hands onto the back of the armchair, caging Kei’s head between them. As he leaned, his hair swung with him, his whole demeanor unfurling like a delicate ribbon. Kei didn’t breathe. He didn’t dare. Cheeks flushed with heat and sweat, it’s almost as though Tadashi shined all over, something tantalizing in his eyes, like a fantasy Kei wouldn’t allow himself to consider.
Tadashi’s face was so close now, Kei’s heart pummeling in his ears, so fast that each beat blurs until it’s practically one note, a live flatline. Neither of them say anything.
Then Tadashi quickly kissed the bridge of Kei’s nose.
It’s so unexpected, Kei wondered if he imagined it. But there’s an instant soothe down his sunburnt nose, a faint, cooling hum, that froze out any lingering doubts. Tadashi giggled, close to his face.
“It is tinted,” he grinned, blushed. “I-”
Kei couldn’t help it. He craned his head to close that half-fraction between them, sandpaper softening as his lips dragged on the soft balm of Tadashi’s own. Tadashi stilled for only a moment before sighing happily against Kei, tipping his head against him. The sensation stirred numbingly through Kei’s lungs, bleeding into the rest of his body, a quiet euphoria, the undeniable satisfaction of doing something right.
He let his lips part for air, gasping when Tadashi slid his tongue across the seam of them, just barely dipping into Kei’s mouth. The feeling of their saliva melting together, the implication of giving himself up like this, it all licked hotly at his ribs, at his heart. Uncertainly, Kei let his jaw drop, blood fizzing at Tadashi’s slight grin, at the way his tongue slid over his own. Both their lips were wet with spit now, heated desperation in every sigh.
Of course, beneath all the new waves of desire, Kei felt greed. The insatiable, ever-growing itch in his blood, his bone marrow, that demanded more. Barely thinking twice, he reached his hands around the backs of Tadashi’s thighs, pulling him closer, tighter. Tadashi whimpered against his mouth, obligingly crawling onto Kei’s lap, arms spooling tight around his neck. The armchair squeaked beneath them, but all it made Kei feel was good. The way the world had to strain to accommodate him, the way his relentless selfishness made everything fall apart - Tadashi’s inhibitions, the springs in the chair - it all made him feel alive.
Tadashi kissed him desperately, like every little sound Kei breathed was an affirmation, layered praise. The thought that something as involuntary as his moans was what made Tadashi so needy, whining so prettily against him, it made him woozy with thrill.
“K-Kei…?” Tadashi mumbled, their lips barely dragging apart. His hands clasped at Kei’s shoulders. “Wh…”
Kei didn’t let him continue, grazing his tongue down Tadashi’s jaw, all the way until he could tongue at his ever-feverish pulse point. If it was live before, it was absolutely rushing now, blood ceaseless, only seeming to rush harder under Kei’s attention. He dragged slow kisses over the skin there, the reddened freckles gleaming. Tadashi shivered against him, lolling his head, gasping heatedly and clutching Kei even tighter. Gloriously, he couldn’t help but buck his hips down, thighs squeezing around Kei’s, each wet noise breathed out onto Kei’s flushed neck, his skin selfishly claiming the air for itself.
Wordless, Kei skimmed his hands around Tadashi’s waist, slipping down to his hips, still laving his tongue down Tadashi’s throat, the softest slick amplifying each kiss. He forced Tadashi’s hips to roll down again, grinding their clothed dicks together. A sleazy satisfaction trembled through Kei’s thighs, blooming hot in his stomach, making him hiss with pleasure against Tadashi.
“Ah- Kei,” Tadashi shuddered, wobbling on his knees. “I-I’ve wanted- mm.”
“I know,” Kei murmured back, clutching Tadashi closer by the waist. Maybe, if Kei would just let him go for two seconds, he could ruck part of Tadashi’s jumpsuit off at the shoulder, deflower his tanned chest with hickey after hickey. But he didn’t want to. Clutched in this feverish haze, Kei refused anything that was not now, now, now. Every kiss just got hotter, every roll of their hips surging pleasure through them, and Kei was losing his grasp on his breathing. It’s like the part of him that kept a steady pulse fell apart under Tadashi, wavering like sand and fluttering over and over.
Thin streams of pre-cum were starting to seep through their jumpsuits, dragging against their dicks, clinging lewdly to Kei’s stomach. He gasped against Tadashi’s collarbone, staring at the mess. Every frantic snap of their hips reminded Kei of how senseless this was, how stupid they were being - anyone could walk in right then and there. And, even if nobody did, what happened after? Could they just pretend this didn’t happen?
But that didn’t matter to Kei. It never did. The consequences of actions, the fall-out, the repercussion, none of it mattered in the wake of actually committing it. Whatever ‘it’ was. Whether it was another break-in or taking something off a counselor or making Tadashi sob against Kei’s cheek, pleading over and over to please let him cum, Kei didn’t care what happened after. Everything else dulled and disappeared in the wake of what he wanted. And what he wanted now was to keep kissing Tadashi, to keep feeling how hot he was under his fingers.
“Kei-!” Tadashi whimpered into Kei’s mouth, spit clinging between their tongues. “Kei, more! Please, it feels- ah, Kei-!”
The sweet sound of begging. The blooms of hot arousal that flashed through Kei at every hitch of Tadashi’s breath. The relentless coiling of pleasure that seemed to get tighter and tighter, desperate to break, desperate to suffocate something until it burst. It was a high unlike any other, a new mania, one that no drug could ever hope to smother. Kei stared wildly at Tadashi, breathing fast, teetering; it was as though every rock of their hips made him slip out of his mind. Though he was pinned firmly in place under Tadashi, he couldn’t help but feel like he was spiraling out of the chair, like he’d fallen and his mind hadn’t caught up to it.
“”Dashi,” he panted, breath jerking with every movement, his cheeks hotter than he’d ever felt before. His mouth wouldn’t close, too captured in marvel. He didn’t know why he was saying Tadashi’s name. He didn’t know what more Tadashi could possibly give him.
But of course, Tadashi somehow knew. And somehow, he could give him twice as much, over and over. He slipped them into a haphazard kiss, feverish. Though they were too pleasure-wracked to possibly do it right, the mindlessness of it all just made it so much hotter, the slack in Tadashi’s jaw, the endless shines of drool that he couldn’t keep away.
Maybe there should be a dull sense of foreboding, somewhere under all this moaning and pleading. Kei and Tadashi, all they knew to do was take, take, take. Take skin until it bruised purple. Take kisses until they couldn’t breathe. Take orgasms as if they were tangible property, clawing for each other as though they could break their hips and rip them out for themselves. You couldn’t take without giving. Kei knew that all too well. And, eventually, they’d take so much that Kei and Tadashi would cave in to each other, reduced to nothing but arms that sprawled for each other.
That’s when Kei knew he was sick. Sick in the head, sick in the heart. Because the thought of them being nothing together filled him with total, all-consuming, delirious joy.
He didn’t even realize he was cumming at first, so high and foggy that every simple touch felt just as good as an orgasm. Kei made a croaked sound when it hit him, twitching under Tadashi, adrenaline melting into each scrap of dopamine and making his heart hammer like he’d just outrun the law. It really was like his whole body was running, mind rushing further and further away from him, heart pummeling like rampant footsteps in his ear, aftershock and aftershock slamming into him and leaving him fuzzy all over. It wasn’t he felt Tadashi slump against him, shuddering and weak from his own orgasm, that it finally began to subside. It ebbed away like blood from a gunshot wound, slowly trailing down his body in hot trails.
Kei’s hands were still loose on Tadashi’s hips. Slow, he wrapped them tight around his waist, holding him. He was, by far, the prettiest thing Kei had ever broken.
“K…Kei…” Tadashi whined into his neck, breathing hard, the pressing feeling of his ribs glorious against Kei’s own. Kei couldn’t resist languidly threading his hands into Tadashi’s hair, slowly dragging out the tangles. He raised his head off Kei’s shoulder, slowly slipping him into a slow kiss, sweeter than the others.
“I’ve been wanting to do that since you got here…” Kei muttered, flustering as Tadashi kissed the corner of his mouth, then his plush cheek, then his temple.
“Why didn’t you just do it, then?”
Good question. Kei wasn’t the type to hesitate when it came to doing as he pleased. But Tadashi…Tadashi made him second-guess. Tadashi made him want to wait and savor it all.
But that was embarrassing to say aloud. Kei just shrugged. Judging from the hazy grin on Tadashi’s face, he probably had a good idea of it anyway.
“Well,” Tadashi lilted, lips still brushing on Kei’s cheek. “You can-”
Footsteps crackled on the sand outside, making them both jolt violently, clutching each other. Metal spurs click-clacked against the wood on the patio, the sounds of keys jingling just beyond the door.
“Fuck,” Tadashi hissed under his breath, leaping off the chair and lugging Kei with him. There wasn’t time to dwell on the way their legs shook, on the way their clothes were stained, on the dizzy combination of post-coital bliss and iron deficiency that made Kei nearly fall right back down. “Window, quick!”
Kei followed along mindlessly, letting Tadashi push and shove him out the window, stumbling on the sand outside. He could feel his hands split and new scratches tear his knees, but Tadashi just grabbed him by the elbow and raced them away. Kei wasn’t accustomed to outrunning his crimes - he usually lounged in houses until he got bored and strode out of his own volition. Tadashi clearly had more expertise, so Kei just let himself get pulled along, just trying to keep his glasses on his sweaty nose.
They streaked across the campsite in double time, Tadashi expertly weaving them through the scattered buildings to hide their silhouettes. Eventually, they were tearing across the stretch of desert they usually dug in, precariously running between the holes that plunged into the ground. One wrong move and they’d snap their ankles in the fall. But Kei just stared at Tadashi as they ran, at the way his skin seemed to glow in the dark, calling.
Faint gunshots rose behind them, sharp amber shooting randomly into the sky. They both sucked in harsh breaths at the sound of it.
“Whoever was in here is going to be dead by sunrise!” the Warden screamed at nothing in particular.
“Quick!” Tadashi urged, cajoling Kei to hop into one of the holes with him. They crouched down, gasping to catch their breaths in the dark.
“...she doesn’t sound like the romantic type,” Kei muttered between breaths, earning him a weak laugh from Tadashi. “Is this how messy all your escapes are? No wonder you ended up here.”
Tadashi shoved his shoulder playfully. “I don’t want to hear you of all people talk about messy. Couldn’t you have kissed me somewhere sensible?”
“I’ll try your hips next time.”
“Kei!” But Tadashi’s giggles were delighted, leaning into Kei’s side, both their hearts still hammering with terror and something else, high and hot. “I bet they’ll round up everyone and question them one-by-one now.”
“Probably.”
“When all the boys start walking out, we’ll join them. Blend in with the crowd,” Tadashi mimed walking with his fingers, dancing them up Kei’s leg. “I bet our cabin mates wouldn’t have noticed we were gone.”
Kei didn’t care. Kei didn’t care if the Warden shot them both in the head right now. Kei didn’t care that it seemed like he’d never leave this place. Kei didn’t care what happened to him anymore.
All Kei cared about was Tadashi. And Tadashi was right there, bright and brilliant beside him.