Work Text:
so the last attempt didn’t go well, but it wasn’t the end. dazai knows kunikida’s schedule well enough to know that every tuesday and thursday after school, she studies in the library. she’ll walk by, say hi, ask kunikida what she’s studying, and ask for help with that exact subject. now this one was definitely foolproof. well, the last one was too, dazai’s just the fool in this case.
whatever, she wasn’t going to let that get her down. dazai was determined to get closer to kunikida even if it’s the last thing she does. if she dies of embarrassment though, it really will be the last thing she does. dazai can’t help it, kunikida’s just so amazing and perfect and beautiful. god, love really did turn her into a complete fool.
walking into the library, dazai scanned the room, searching for her one and only. sitting right in the middle was kunikida with books spread out all around her. they did have a math test soon, so she was probably studying for that. dazai could definitely use that as a way in. she’d claim she wasn’t good at math, and because kunikida’s so kind, she would definitely help out.
taking a deep breath, dazai made her way over to kunikida, taking careful strides. she never knew how anxious walking made her until she actually liked someone.
“hey, kunikida-san,” dazai greeted. “what are you up to?”
“oh, hey, dazai-san. i’m just studying for our calculus test tomorrow,” kunikida answered.
man, she’s so pretty. her voice is so calming and smooth and wonderful. but enough of that, this was perfect. this was just how dazai was going to get closer to her.
“oh my god, i completely forgot about that! i thought it was next week, i’m so not prepared.”
please take the bait, please, please, please-
“well, why don’t you study with me then?” kunikida offered. “i’m pretty confident in my skills, and i wouldn’t want you failing that test.”
bingo. “really? are you sure? i wouldn’t want to bother you though.”
“of course, i want to help you. come on, the sooner you get started, the more you’ll memorize.”
with the most beautiful smile to ever exist, kunikida pulled out the chair beside her. from the way she fixed her rectangular glasses to the slight swoop of her bangs, everything about her was so perfect. with the sunlight shining through the windows, it illuminated her beauty just wonderfully, and for a moment, kunikida was golden.
it was like an angel took form just to bless dazai with her presence, and she couldn't take her eyes off her. kunikida glistened like the stars that danced in the sky and glimmered like the ocean under a blanket of constellations. she was bright and beautiful, and dazai never knew that love could be such a lovely, heart-wrenching shade of gold.
“dazai-san? you there?”
“oh- um, ye- yeah! thanks, kunikida-san,” dazai quickly responded. jeez, just how long was she standing there staring at her? she couldn’t help it though, kunikida was too pretty not to admire. the sun complimented her so well, and dazai almost mistook her for it.
“no problem. what do you want to get started on?” kunikida asked, sharing her textbook and worksheets with her. “what are you struggling with the most?”
“umm, i guess integrals and uh, oh, implicit differentiation too,” dazai lied right through her teeth. she was struggling with something, but it definitely wasn’t calculus.
-
“did that make sense?” kunikida asked, tapping her pen. “do you need me to explain it to you again or do you think you can do this one on your own?”
“um, maybe just one more time.” dazai most definitely didn’t need another explanation, but if it meant getting to hear kunikida’s soothing voice, she’d let her talk her ear off about calculus.
“yeah, sure. let me know if you need me to slow down. so, first you want to differentiate both sides of the equation with respect to x. after that, you’re going to…”
as kunikida went through her entire spiel about implicit differentiation, all dazai would think about was how utterly breathtaking she was. she’s stunning, unbelievably stunning.
“now, if you need to, use the chain rule. for example, as you can see here, since we have multiple y values, we’ll want to use the chain rule so we can take the derivative later…”
dazai hummed and nodded along, hoping that she looked like she was at least sort of paying attention. well, she definitely was, just not to the calculus.
dazai felt a little bad for tricking kunikida and making her explain concepts she already mastered over and over again, but she couldn’t help it. love turns her into a complete idiot, and she hopes that at the end of all this, kunikida won’t be too mad. maybe after the test, dazai could take her out for lunch or something as a ‘thank you’ and potential date. yeah, that’d be nice.
dazai’s always been a glass half-full kind of girl, and though they might not know each other well, she’s sure that she could win kunikida over. maybe not because they’re on the same level, but because when she’s in love, she’s completely and utterly devoted. kunikida’s perfect, both inside and out, and there’s nothing dazai wants more than to know all of her.
“and then after that, you solve for the derivative like i just did,” kunikida concluded, scribbling some final numbers down. “did that make sense?-”
“you’re beautiful.”
“...wha- what?”
eyes wide and burning red, kunikida stared at dazai like she had just seen a ghost, and at first, dazai didn’t get it. why was she reacting like that? did something happen?-
then, it clicked. “oh my god, i- i’m so sorry! i- i didn’t mean to say that- i mean, i do think you’re beautiful, but i didn’t mean to say it now! i’m sorry, kunikida, i really am-”
“it’s- it’s ok,” kunikida muttered, staring down at the table. “th- thank you, dazai-san.”
tucking her hair behind her ear, she was burning red all the way from her cheeks to her ears. she was far too embarrassed to look dazai in the eyes, and she did feel bad about it, she really did. but more than anything, dazai felt her heart skip a beat.
maybe now wasn’t the time for it, but she was utterly in awe of how pretty kunikida looked even when she was as red as a tomato. it highlighted the soft, shy part of her, and dazai fell in love with that version of her too. the red dusting her fair skin complemented kunikida’s beauty perfectly, and dazai couldn’t believe just how beautiful someone could look.
god, she’s probably just as red as kunikida is right now. she had other things to worry about though, like kunikida not hating her. sure, she thanked her, but that’s just good manners.
“i- i’m sorry, kunikida-san,” dazai apologized, “i promise i was listening, and i do really appreciate your help. i just blurted it out by accident, i’m sorry.”
it might’ve been another little lie, but technically, she was half-listening to kunikida’s explanation, so it wasn’t that big of a lie. dazai just didn’t want her to start feeling awkward around her.
“it’s fine,” kunikida said, clearing her throat. “um, should- should we get back to studying?”
oh thank god she doesn’t hate her. “ye- yeah, that’d be great. thanks.”
“why don’t you work on these problems and i’ll look at them later?” kunikida suggested, sliding over some worksheets. dazai nodded and got to work, but as she did, she couldn’t help but sneak glances every now and then. as kunikida read her textbook and worked on some of her own problems, dazai couldn’t help but notice the lingering blush that painted her skin.
she’s beautiful, so, so beautiful. dazai couldn’t stop staring, and she never wanted to look away. kunikida was the stars in the sky, shining like pure gold with that gorgeous smile of hers. how is that someone as amazing as her was sitting right next to someone like dazai? it just didn't make sense, but that didn’t mean she was any less grateful for it all.
just then, kunikida caught dazai staring, and she immediately looked away. before she did though, she could’ve sworn that there was the faintest hint of a smile on kunikida’s face, and dazai just smiled with her. things may have gotten off on a rocky start, but she could tell that something beautiful was going to come out of this; well, not as beautiful as kunikida that is.