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The whip cracks as it comes down on Paytai’s back, and Ramil flinches worse than he does.
He doesn’t understand how they got there. Nothing today went as it should have. All he’d needed was a few hours with Khanin away from prying eyes. Of course, he’d known it was risky, but it had been the perfect opportunity. Khanin coming to visit on such short notice right as Paytai was away, he hadn’t been able to resist taking him into the forest.
Things weren’t supposed to go like this.
Paytai was supposed to be safe.
The whip comes down one more time and as Paytai breaths shakily through it, Ramil has to stop himself from reaching toward him. He wants to hold him tight and safe, wants to hide him away where no one can touch him.
But it doesn’t matter what he wants.
There is nothing he can do that wouldn’t make things worse.
His father spits out accusations that Ramil’s stuttering voice can barely deny. It doesn’t matter what he says now anyway. His father’s mind is already made, and Ramil isn’t about to argue with him when he still has the whip in hand.
His anger brings yet another lash down onto Paytai’s back, harder than the previous ones, and Ramil’s eyes shut reflexively, like not seeing his boy’s pain will make it disappear. It’s just another way in which he’s a coward.
His father pushes his head back with the whip and Ramil tries not to flinch. It’s not like the man would ever lay a hand on him anyway. A bit of humiliation, sure, but actual physical harm, never. Why would he, when he has a much more potent punishment available? That’s what Paytai is for, and Ramil hates that it works so well on him. Hates that in all his royal blood and apparent power, he can't protect the one thing that truly matters.
He tries to keep his eyes trained on his father’s face despite the trembling, as the man spits more anger at him that Ramil can barely hear above the blood rushing in his ears.
“And let it be clear that it was your stupidity that made Paytai end up like this!” he admonishes at last, like Ramil doesn’t know, like that lesson hasn’t sunk in yet despite the years, like Ramil doesn’t make every decision with Paytai in mind.
Paytai wasn’t supposed to be here.
But then again, it doesn't matter much. They might not agree which one of today's actions was stupid, but the reality is that Ramil made a mistake all the same. And as usual, Paytai is the one paying for it.
The older man throws the whip to the floor, finally, finally, then abandons them to the evening sun and the pain he so easily inflicts.
Trembling, Ramil slowly looks up to meet Paytai's gaze where he stays kneeling on the floor. The young man is still panting in pain as they lock eyes, and in that instant, Ramil isn’t sure who he hates more, his father or himself.