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It happened. After quite some time, and tired of being a chicken. He finally mustered up the courage and seized those three seconds. The best three fucking second in his life. Nace is still overjoyed, head on the another planet, couldn’t explain how fucking amazing that is. It’s been hours since that kiss, yet he still can’t forget how amazing that was.
Jan is different. Authentic. Bold. Just… Jan. Something at the back of his throat is choking him. He wanted to shout it on the roof, announce it to the whole world, the whole Milky Way if possible. He kissed Jan on the lips. Jan fucking Peteh returned the kiss! That majestic guitarist is like no others, not Bojan, not Kris, not Martin, and not even Jure. Hate to admit he has had a peck, at least with the other boys, just a friendly kiss, or a dare from a drinking game. Hate to admit he also had massive anxiety thoughts of kissing Jan for real. The murky, uncertain outcome if he ever kissed Jan out of randomness.
Sure, he made a fool of himself many times, playing with fire, and backed away at the nick of time. There was a phase, too, when Nace avoided Jan for no reason; that was all in his head.
But yesterday? That ain’t a fucking game.
He wanted more!
Last night, he couldn’t sleep. The thought of kissing Jan in front of the crowd puts him in fear again. Thinking about all the ‘what if?’, but again, it felt like the world was theirs for three seconds. He kept mulling over and over until his eyelids couldn’t bear to open much longer and ended up oversleeping.
The clock shows slightly past 10. The ceiling is spinning. Getting on his feet as soon as the spinning stops, and getting out of the bedroom. He sees that the rest of the boys are already up, and he is the last one. Everyone has had their morning coffee, and the pot was emptied, so he makes one for himself now.
“Morning.” A hand wraps around his waist, pulling him closer. Of course, he recognizes that voice a million miles away. Jan softly nudges his head on Nace’s shoulders. The bassist looked nervous, so the guitarist pulled his leg.
“Eugh, Jordan. You stink.” Taking it seriously and had a whiff under his armpit, Jan chuckles under his breath, but not Nace.
“Kidding.” Asking for an apology with a kiss on the cheek, Jan rubs his back, asking if everything was okay.
Strange. Jan seems all casual this morning, as if nothing happened. Nace wanted to bring up that topic so bad, but his brain keeps telling him no, so he lies, saying he’s still exhausted. Giving the man some space, Jan walks away. Deep inside, he knows Nace wanted to say something, but it’s better not to pursue him, maybe he’ll come aroun, if he wants.
Nace never started his day this late for years, not even on breaks. Usually, he’d get breakfast with the coffee, but the beverage itself filled him enough. Taking a shower and putting on clean clothes, he heard Bojan and Kris leaving the apartment for a while. Jure is nowhere to be seen, but sure, he’s still there, supposedly.
“Jan, can we talk?” Raising an eyebrow, Jan felt Nace’s tone was off. Cueing upstairs, he just follows the older guy. Closing the door, the bassist exhales loudly, yet his heart is still heavy and has sunk into the deepest ocean.
“How are you, Jan?” Didn’t know where to begin. Nace keeps his hands in his pocket, he’s fidgeting and overly sweaty right now. Every question he threw at Jan, the answer was casual and the guitarist face is as flat as a freaking board.
“Jan… I… Uhhh…-” – “Yes? Is something wrong?” The choked feeling hit him again, the same remaining aftertaste he felt last night.
“Yeah, I mean, no! Nothing’s wrong.” Getting tongue-tied and nervous all over, Jan takes a step closer, holding the older guy’s hand, not asking, just gazing into his eyes. He knew it was at the tip of those lips, and he couldn’t get that out. Whispering ‘it’s fine’, Jan pulls him for another hug, tighter than before.
“Is it about that?” Blushing deeply and meekly nodding, the bassist can’t even look at the guitarist’s face. He keeps staring at the floor.
C’mon, you pussy! Say it! It’s chaos inside his head, screaming to just say it out loud. Opening up his mouth, Nace says something, more like a whisper to Jan.
“I… I loved the kiss, okay? There, happy?”
“Loved?”
“N-no. I love it.” Quickly correcting himself, Nace admits himself out loud again. Sure, he loves kissing Jan, but is he bold enough to say he wants more? Oh, wait, is he turning himself into a fool again?
“How did I taste to you, Jan?” Raising an eyebrow and trying to remember, Jan didn’t even remember what he ate for breakfast, but the flavour of Nace’s lips forever embedded in his mind; a mix of tobacco, mint, and a dash of citrus. Compared to the older guy, all he did was smoke before getting on the stage, wondering if Nace caught a flavour of him too.
“I don’t remember, sorry.” Was it worth a lie, tho?
“Oh… ‘Cause I remembered you tasted like a strawberry. Jure gave you a chewing gum, right?” Goddamn, how did this man remember everything to the T?! Is he a freaking computer?!
“Why? Do you want another taste?” Now it’s Jan’s turn to get nervous. His heart beats faster, turning into a drum that wants to break free from his ribcage.
“Close your eyes.” Nace whispers again, either asking Jan or telling himself to close his eyes. It all happens in a split second, their lips crashing again, but neither of them wants to pull away. One, two, three, as he counts in his head before pushing his tongue out. Adding tongues to the kiss just makes it scorching hot. His hand was on the guitarist’s shoulder, gently moving to the waist, wrapping around the middle gently, pulling the younger guy closer. Almost out of breath, but risking it for another five seconds, Jan is the first to break away, quickly catching his breath.
“Don’t… Hhhh… Apologize.” Heaving and regulating his breath, Jan won’t take it if Nace throws another sorry. The bassist did nothing wrong, and there’s nothing to be forgiven for; he just ran out of breath.
“Was that enough to jog your memory?” Shaking his head, Jan likes to tease Nace a lil more. Again, overly thinking, Nace suddenly feels bad, but Jan pecks him in a split second. What a tease.
“’Course I remember, I’m not 90 yet.” There was a silence between them. Just when Jan thought he should make the first move, Nace does. Kissing is way better behind closed doors.
“How about now?”
“Better without glasses.” The bassist hears the guitarist chuckling, but he knows the guy was being honest. Jan had commented a few times about his glasses and how ugly the frames are, according to him.
“Maybe I should sit on your lap next?” One wink sent the older guy out of the earth. Walking towards the door, Nace grabs his hand before he leaves, asking.
“When is soon?”
“Soon.” Closing the door and leaving the man with one more thought.
Was it worth the second aftertaste?