Le Morte d'Arthur: Destiny Calls

by elfinnemrys

Summary:

Merlin has been wandering for centuries. Waiting for the exact, unknown time that Arthur shall rise again.
He becomes a lady of King Henry VIII.
He meets Robin Hood and they share a fondness that once reminded him of a certain Prince.
He bumps into Matthew Hopkins, the Witchfinder General, more times than he would like, dying a different death each time.
But he always comes back.
He falls in love and, in turn, becomes a father, a grandfather, and a lonely old man still waiting, waiting, waiting.

But this is Matty's story - Merlin's granddaughter. And the ghost of Arthur follows her everywhere.

This fic is completed, so don't worry about me not updating it. All in due time :)

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not

Falling Apart - Michael Schulte
The Wisp Sings - Winter Aid
Not About Angels - Birdy
Guilded Lily - Cults
The Ghost On The Shore - Lord Huron

most of the songs on these playlist have no real relevance to the chapters, (some do) i just really like music and want to share some good songs.

Chapter 1: An Old Man and His Broken Heart

This story starts as all sad ones do: with an old man and his broken heart.   

But do not be fooled, this is not a sad story, quite the opposite in fact. It’s a story of rebirth and new beginnings. It just happens to have a few… unpleasant moments. But we’re not there yet. In fact, let’s go back a few more years (or centuries rather) to the beginning. The beginning of the end. The day that Arthur died.   

The day that Arthur died was quite literally the end of the world… Alright I may be exaggerating, but it was definitely the end of Merlin’s world.   

Contrary to popular belief Merlin did actually return to Camelot. He couldn’t exactly leave, could he? What about Gaius? And Gwen? And Leon? And Percival? No, he wasn’t selfish. He knew he wasn’t the only one who was suffering. He still had friends. Friends who needed him just as much as he needed them. He did take a detour though; he had to prepare himself to tell everyone that Arthur was dead. His best friend. Gone. Carried away like a scream lost in the wind.  

So, Merlin went back home. Not to Camelot, no, he went back to Ealdor. To his mother. To his childhood. He just wanted a final moment of peace.    “Oh baby,” was the first thing his mother had said. “My baby.” She held him tight that day.  

Merlin stayed only two days, saying ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ to Will’s resting place, and then made his way to Camelot. It was strange, these were the roads he walked only ten years ago. He was so innocent back then, freshly eighteen years old with the whole world ahead of him. But now suddenly, walking through these woods again, the world was sitting on top of him, and his knees were beginning to buckle. These same trees were darker now, the mud more inconvenient, the wind more bitter. Life had been sucked out of Merlin’s world; he no longer saw in colour.  

But I digress, we all know how much Merlin had suffered and you do not need me to repeat it.   

He made it back to Camelot and met with Gwen.  

“You have magic,” she stated. It was not a question.  

“Yes,” Merlin replied.  

“Arthur is dead?”  

“…Yes.”  

And that was that, for what else could be said in that moment? Gwen did not cry, her face did not crumble, but when Merlin would walk the corridor, he would hear her sobs coming from inside her chambers. And he was sorry.  

Years passed and Gwen married Leon, it wasn’t out of love. Of course they loved each other, but it was not the same. They did not have an heir.  

 

                                                                                                                             *  

 

Gaius went first, old age. Merlin had healed him to the best of his ability, but eventually, Gaius grew too tired and asked Merlin to stop; at the ripe old age of 88 did our Gaius pass to the other world. Merlin cried.  

Next was Hunith. Merlin got a letter from his old neighbour saying that his mother had caught the pox and that she would not make it to the end of the week. Merlin made it just in time.  

“Be kind, be brave,” were her last words to him. And he had tried to be both ever since. Merlin cried.  

Percival went next. He got wounded and it got horribly infected. His last words were that of a young boy meeting his best friend for the very first time in years, “Hello, Gwaine.” And he was gone. Merlin cried.   

Then Gwen. Dear old Gwen. She made it a good life, despite all that was thrown at her. Just like Gaius, she died naturally, but she was still young. She did well. Merlin cried.  

Leon died a few months later. He was captured by Escitirs men and beheaded. Merlin did not believe this. He knew Leon drank from the cup of life. He knew Leon could not simply be beheaded, but he did not try to find him. He let him go. Merlin cried.   

Then war happened. There was no ruler to take over Camelot and it fell into the pit of legends. Perhaps that was Merlin’s fault, he made sure no one but himself and Arthur would find it. The earth came to his call and he watched as the mountains and hills grew together, up and over the castle, covering it in an embrace, wrapping it tightly, letting the memories live on forever but never to be found. Then he left and never went back. Merlin did not cry.  

 

                                                                                                             *  

 

Then one day (the 12 th of March 1980 at 5:56am to be exact) Merlin saw her. She was on the floor, holding her knee to her chest. But it was her. It was Freya.   

I know what you’re thinking, how could Freya be here? She died centuries ago. I know, I know, but this was Freya. She had the same straggly black hair, the same accent, the same nose, mouth, eyes. Freya was back. But you’re right, it wasn’t really her. Sometimes the universe gets bored of making people and throws out some that have already been here once.   

Merlin ran up to her and held his hand out, she took it and hauled herself up. There was no one else about, it was the crack of dawn, so Merlin took this as a sign. They were both out running (Merlin liked to run in the mornings, the sunrises were gorgeous and it was a good start to his day) but Freya tripped on her shoelaces and went tumbling to the floor, grazing her knee. Merlin hobbled her over to a bench and delved deep into his pockets to pull out a plaster.   

“Be more careful next time,” he had said before tying her shoelaces in a double knot. Freya watched him with interest, a smile appeared on her face.  

“Thank you.”  

I won’t bore you with the details but time went on and Freya and Merlin were very happy with each other. They both grew bored of the mundane city life and decided to move to the country (being alive for as many years as Merlin had, and having many different jobs, had allowed him to become rather wealthy), somewhere where there were mountains, a few fields, some wildflowers, a couple of cows, and a lake.   

And a lake.   

It just so happened that there was a specific lake that needed watching over, Merlin had not returned to it for many years, but he thought it was time. So they moved to Avalon, into a little cottage overlooking the tower, still full and brimming with hope. One day, Merlin thought, just a little longer.  

One thing led to another, and Merlin was racing to the hospital with a screaming Freya.   

“My wife…” Merlin had spluttered. “She’s giving birth.”  

“Stay calm sir,” said a doctor. Then Freya was gone, waddling to a wheelchair and rushed off to a room.  

Merlin did not intend for this to happen. He did not want children. All he imagined was them on their deathbed at the age of ninety questioning why their father was still alive. He thought about faking his death, but how could he do that to his children. He could never tell them who he really was, he never told Freya. But it had happened and now he was going to be a father. He had not quite grasped what that meant.   

It meant that he was going to have to keep aging (thanks to his magic, he can be whatever age he wants to be). He decided long ago that twenty-five was the best age to be, he was young and healthy. When he was old, all he had were back problems and constant avoidance of nursing homes, not to mention the witch hunters.  

Soon enough, Merlin was watching the love of his life hold their little girl, then he was holding her. She was so… small. She grasped his index finger around her tiny hands and gave a light squeeze. Merlin let out a half sob-half laugh and watched her with such awe. He was a father.   

“And what is her name?” the doctor asked.  

They had discussed names, Freya was adamant on Matilda, but Merlin wanted something else, something personal. Ultimately, Merlin had agreed that it was Freya’s decision as she was actually the one giving birth. He looked to his wife.   

“Guinevere. Gwen,” Freya had said. Merlin cried.  

 

                                                                                                              *  

 

When Gwen was five, Merlin began to tell her about the knights of Camelot, of Tristian and Isolde, of the ruthless Uther and his poor wife. He told her about Arthur Pendragon. And he gave her a dark brown teddy called Ganieda.  

When Gwen reached seventeen her mother died. She took it like a trooper and kept her head up, she cried when she was alone and made sure Merlin was cared for. He took it worse than she did. Another life lost to the world, and he kept on living.  

Three years later and Gwen was twenty years old. She had moved out and was living in her own flat with her boyfriend, his name is irrelevant. Merlin did not like him, he thought he was a deadbeat living off her money, his money.   

One thing led to another, and Merlin was racing to the hospital with a screaming Guinevere.   

“My daughter…” Merlin had spluttered. “She’s giving birth.”  

“Stay calm sir,” said a doctor. Then Gwen was gone, waddling to a wheelchair and rushed off to a room.  

Her boyfriend had left her as soon as he found out she was pregnant, I told you he was irrelevant.  

Once again, Merlin was standing whilst Gwen pushed. He heard a small cry and relaxed, the baby was out. The doctors wrapped it up and gave it to Merlin. He took it with confusion, don’t they usually give it to the mother first? He looked to Gwen, she looked very tired, her head was lolled back on the pillow, her eyes fluttering. He smiled, she did so well.  

He looked back to the baby, Gwen wouldn’t tell him what she was going to name it. So he’ll have to wait for now. It wrapped its hand around Merlin’s finger, just like Gwen did. He was so immersed with how it looked that he did not notice the beeping of the machine, or the rushing of doctors until one of them snatched the baby (carefully) out of his hands. He looked up and registered that his daughter was not awake.   

“Sir, please go outside,” said a nurse. He was ushered outside and he sat on a seat. He wasn’t entirely sure what was happening, this never happened with Freya. Then once again, he was back at the Lake of Avalon, and his world was falling apart.  

“…complications… I’m sorry for your loss…”  

Oh.  

Oh.

…  

 

Merlin went home that night on his own, letting the baby stay in the hospital. He got out of his car but did not enter his house, instead he went to the lake and watched the ripples. Of course Arthur isn’t going to come , he thought, why would he when it’s only my world falling apart, not everyone else’s.  

A wave on anger rushed over him, so profound and strong, so abnormal and gut-wrenching. He had never felt pain like this in his one thousand five hundred years of living. His daughter was dead. His daughter. His baby. Twenty years was not enough, he needed more time. Time had been something he wished long and hard to have less of, he hated time more than any other thing in this world. It made him impatient, made him old and ache. But right now, he wished for more of it.  

He only witnessed twenty summers with his daughter. Twenty summers was an insignificant number to him, twenty summers was not enough.  

He felt the anger swell inside of him, it felt similar to the calling of the dragon, the time when Arthur had died. He mustered all he had in him and let the fire out. “ Mægden duguð wildefýr beðerscan moor wið−uppon êow hwæðere wægn bêon recen ðâ!” He bellowed it so loud that it shook the earth beneath him. He watched in agony as the lightning he summoned struck the tower, sending rocks tumbling into the air and onto the ground below.   

There , he thought, now you know how it feels to lose something so important. He knew the Sidhe would be furious, but he didn’t care, they were not forced to live a life of waiting and anguish. They did not have to watch everyone die. Everyone.   

Even this baby will die. Merlin thought of adoption then, he wouldn’t have to know anything about the baby, it could die and he wouldn’t know or grieve. He shook his head, appalled at himself for even thinking it. This baby was the last piece of Gwen, this baby was a part of Merlin.  

And so he took the baby home and raised it. This time it was harder, he didn’t have breasts to feed it, he didn’t have the superpowers that mothers had. He was just Merlin.  

“Be kind. Be brave,” he told himself.   

Notes:

Mægden duguð wildefýr beðerscan moor wið−uppon êow hwæðere wægn bêon recen ðâ
may the lightning thrash down upon you and the storms be violent and unforgiving

https://www.oldenglishtranslator.co.uk/ this is the translator i use

Chapter 2: Matilda Hunithson

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not

I Will Be Back One Day - Lord Huron
Ready - McKane Davis
First Light - Hozier
Start of Time - Gabrielle Aplin
This Empty Northern Hemisphere - Gregory Alan Isakov

“Tell me about Arthur again,” said a little voice from the hallway.  

“Matty go back to sleep,” Merlin groaned. He rolled over and looked at the clock. 1am.  

“I’m scared,” she whispered.  

“The monster isn’t real, Matty.”  

“But you said they were real when you were younger.”  

“They’re not anymore. And if they were, what would I do…?”  

“Use your magic!” she said excitedly.   

“Exactly.” The child did not move. “Ugh, fine. Come here then.” Merlin shuffled over and Matty climbed in next to him. “You’re far too old to be sleeping in my bed these days.”  

“I’m only five.”  

“Precisely. Now, what would you like to know?”  

“Tell me how you and Arthur met.”  

“I’ve told you a million times,” Merlin laughed.  

“It’s my favourite.”  

“Okay.” He began stroking little Matilda’s hair. “I was eighteen when I left home to go to Camelot. There was a young boy a few years older than me and he had blonde hair and bright blue eyes, he was my best friend, though he wasn’t always. When I arrived there, I went exploring, and I came across this boy. He was throwing knives at his servant, poor Morris, he was rather pleased when I took over his job, when Morris dropped the shield, it came rolling to my feet. I looked up and said ‘Hey! Come on, that’s enough. You’ve had your fun my friend.’ The boy stopped laughing with his friends and came strolling over. He looked at me like I was a piece of gum on his shoe, except we didn’t have gum back then but the point still stands. “Do I know you?’ he said to me. I stuck my hand out and told him my name. ‘So, I don’t know you.’ I shook my head. I knew I was in trouble but I couldn’t just stand there and watch him bully someone who was clearly weaker than him. ‘Yet you called me friend’ he said. I realised my mistake and apologised.”  

“No you didn’t,” Matty laughed.  

“I did! I said ‘My mistake. I’m very sorry.’”  

“Don’t lie grandpa!” she chuckled.  

“There’s no getting past you is there.” Merlin ruffled her hair and carried on. “Okay, I said ‘My mistake. I’d never had a friend who could be such an arse.’ And it was true, Gods, I hated him so much in that moment. I thought, how can someone be so entitled? Turns out that was Arthur’s strong point. Anyway, I turned to walk away but he was still teasing me. I ended up punching him.”   

Merlin never told Matilda, or even Gwen when he told this story to her, that Arthur actually blocked the punch, he liked to let them believe that their father and grandfather was way cooler than that. After all, they’ll never know the truth: that he was thrown into the dungeons and put in the stocks. He also tells the story of how they fought in the courtyard with a bit of a bias outlook. He ends the story with him winning, Gaius never distracted him, and Arthur never regained his footing, knocking Merlin to the floor with a brush. Nah. Merlin won fair and square. He also conveniently missed out how he used magic to win.   

He listened to the world around him. The crickets chirped and the frogs croaked, just how it should be. He also heard the quiet breathing of his granddaughter, slow and steady. He got out of bed and picked her up with a grunt, he’s old and doggery now, the stress from Gwen’s death made him look older than he should be, but he’s too tired to change it, he missed being young. He took Matty back to her room. He stood in the doorway for a few seconds, taking in how different this room looked from when Gwen used to sleep in it, the only similarity was the teddy, Ganieda. The room was pink for Gwen, now it’s different shades of green. He slunk into the shadows and fell asleep.   

 

*  

 

When he woke up Matilda was eight and asking for a day off school.   

“Are you ill? Merlin said with a worried face. Matilda nodded and rubbed her nose, she’s lying. Merlin smiled. “And what is wrong with you?”  

“My tummy hurts.”  

“Ah, does it now?” Merlin picked her up, with a lot more struggle than before and looked at her. “And the real reason?”  

“There’s a girl in my class that makes fun of me,” she said quietly.  

“What does she do?”  

“She picks on me and says that I’m an orphan.”  

“You are no orphan, and you do not realise the amount of people who love you.”  

“Who?”  

“Me for starters. Your mother, your grandmother, and every single one of my friends, they’re all with you. Through your toughest battles, Arthur will be guiding you into war. When you’re having boy problems, when that time comes, Gwen, both my friend and your mother, will be there telling you to follow your heart. We are all around you, in the leaves, the rivers, the whole world is made by us, just for you. You are not an orphan.”  

Matty slung her arms around Merlin’s neck and cuddled into him, small sobs escaping her mouth.  

“What about Morgana?” she said into his neck.  

Merlin furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”  

Matty pulled back and looked at her grandpa. “You never talk about Morgana.”  

“Well… Okay then.” He set her down and they both sat on the floor, Matty loved to sit on the floor instead of the sofa, much to Merlin’s discomfort. “What would you like to know?”  

“You’ve never told me what she was like before she went bad.”  

Merlin sighed, “No, I suppose I haven’t.”  

“Why not?”  

“Because if I do that it will turn her into a real person, and what she did was not human, something happened to her which caused her to lose her heart, and if I talk about her then I’m afraid that I won’t hate her anymore, that I won’t have anyone to blame.”  

“Oh…” Merlin could tell Matty was disappointed.  

“You and her would have been best friends,” he began, “she would have loved you and you would have loved her. She was kind and thoughtful and always believed in the right thing, that was until she didn’t, but this isn’t the time to make her a monster. Her hair was long and silky and black, quite like yours. She wore pretty dresses and her face was always smooth.”  

“I don’t like dresses,” Matty said.  

“I know,” Merlin chuckled. “But Morgana did and she looked gorgeous in them every time. I suppose in a way, Morgana could have been my first love.”  

“What about nanny!?”  

“Your grandmother was my true first love, she was the one I was willing to die for, but Morgana was… something else. She would not look down on me, she would start conversations with me and would willingly want to be friends with me.”   

“Isn’t that what a normal person should do?”  

“You must understand that Morgana was Arthur’s half sister, not that they knew it at the time, Uther was her father, she was technically a princess. A princess should not make friends with servants, that was the rule. But she was never one for rules.” Merlin smiled, remembering the fond memories. “I would do anything to go back and make it right. I would tell her about my magic, I wouldn’t make her feel so alone. It was all my fault.”   

Matty shuffled over to her grandfather and wrapped her arms around him. “It’s not your fault grandpa,” she said, but Merlin did not believe her.  

 

*  

 

Matilda was ten when Merlin was called into her school.   

“Matilda is a bright young girl, but we cannot tolerate this violence.”  

“He was bullying my friend, and he wouldn’t stop, what else was I meant to do?” she sulked.  

“Matty, enough,” Merlin sighed.   

“You should have told us,” said the headteacher.  

“I did! You spoke to him but honestly, do you really think speaking to him will solve it? No. It didn’t. In fact, it made it worse!”  

“Matilda!” Merlin said shocked. “I did not raise you to talk back like this.”   

Matty crossed her arms and slunk back into the seat.   

The headteacher sighed. “Matilda is in year six now, she will be going to big school this year, and this will most definitely not be tolerated there. I am going to have to suspend her for a week.”  

“Mr Cook,” Merlin began, “please, she’s just trying to stick up for her friend. And she said that she told you about it already and the issue was still not resolved. If this is anyone’s fault it’s that young boy’s. What are you going to do with him? I should hope he is being suspended as well.”  

“Mr Hunithson, we are dealing with the boy separately, we do not have any conclusive evidence that he was in fact bullying Matilda’s friend, other than her word.”  

“And my word means nothing?” Matty scoffed.

“No, not at all.”  

“That’s what it sounds like,” Merlin added. “Come on Matty. You’ll be suspended from school, but we’ll have a fun time at home.” Merlin stood up and leant onto his cane for support. He held out his hand and Matty took it.  

“Are you disappointed?” Matty asked once they were on their way home.  

“Not at all. I’m proud of you for sticking up for your friend. But next time try to resort to something less… violent.”  

“Sorry, grandpa. I only did it because I was reminded of what you did to Arthur when he was bullying his servant.”   

Merlin smiled. “I think I’ve been telling you too many stories.”  

Matty smiled back. “Never.”  

 

*  

 

Merlin was true to his word and gave Matty the best time. Anything she wanted to do, they did it. The first thing she wanted was to go to the aquarium, so they set off for the hours long drive into the city and had the time of their lives. Merlin forgot just how much fun living could be, it wasn’t always wars and hatred, peeping through the cracks was a little girl filled with peace and love, and the little girl held Merlin’s had, begging for ice cream.  

Although Merlin was old and dodgery, he still had to work. Well, he didn’t have to, but he liked to keep his mind busy. It wasn’t anything exciting, not like his past. He used to work at a university, teaching lectures about Arthurian history, it was good fun until it made him too sad. Then he worked at a café for a while, met some nice people who he eventually had to leave, then moved to Avalon with Freya, giving up the city life for something more comfortable.   

And so, he became a postman. Avalon was a small village, back then it was easy to walk the entirety of it in just an hour, now it took him longer. There were two pubs, one called ‘The Golden Dragon’, the other called ‘The Rising Sun’. Merlin had helped create both pubs in the early 1800’s for this was where he lived. In fact, he lived in the house that he lives in now, he didn’t tell Freya any of this, and everyone who he knew when he had lived here were dead anyway. Their families lived on though, and they knew of the Hunithsons, a local legend to Avalon, the family who had been here longer than anyone. But none of them knew it was all Merlin.   

To avoid suspicion, Merlin would often leave when he was old, stay somewhere else for a few years, and come back young claiming to be a great nephew or great grandson, live the rest of his life, then repeat the process. It worked every time.  

And so here he was, old and with a child to look after, he couldn’t pretend to leave now that he had her to look after. He strolled the road he walked almost every day and delivered the letters to those waiting for them. He liked to walk close to the hedge, because it would soon disappear and reveal the half-broken tower of Avalon. He was right about the Sidhe being angry at him, they came to him and told him that he had broken many ancient laws. He simply told them to go fuck themselves.   

A big blue truck broke his thoughts as it rattled on past him, he was nearly home, he could see his house, but for some reason he kept walking. Past it, and past it still until he was level with the tower. He stopped, not looking at it and sighed, his head fell as he remembered for the millionth time the day of Arthur’s death. If he lifted his head and looked to the left, he would see exactly where he sent the boat away. But he didn’t, he hated the damn thing, but he had to be here, just in case.   

He looked up and carried on walking, his day wasn’t over yet. He turned right and walked up the small hill towards Old Lady Thornberry’s house. She often babysat Matty on weekends if Merlin had to work, but as Matty was suspended, the duties continued. Old Lady Thornberry was older than Merlin, or so everyone thought, because of course Merlin was only sixty - legally. She was a proud and strong woman, who adored Matty to death. Her husband died shortly after Gwen did, during those times, Old Lady Thornberry was Merlin’s rock, as he was hers.  

Her death will be painful, he thought. He often thought about the people who he meets dying, he can’t help it, knowing it will happen.  

He knocked on her fancy butterfly doorknocker and listened as Matty shouted “Grandpa! It’s Grandpa!” His heart swelled with such love.  

“Hello dear Merlin, would you like a cuppa, or would you rather go straight home?”  

“Ooo, a cup of tea sounds wonderful right now. Is that OK Matty?” Matty nodded her head vigorously and squeezed his hand tight, grinning.   

He sent her off to continue playing whilst he had a good old cup of tea with Old Lady Thornberry. He watched Matty outside of the kitchen window playing in the large garden that the Lady possessed. It was full of hyacinths and bluebells and daffodils. She smiled every time she saw them still alive in the winter.  

“I still can’t thank you enough for making my flowers bloom all year round, Beltane will be wonderful this year, with all these different flowers. Always has been my favourite celebration,” she told Merlin. He lifted a finger to his nose and winked. Matty had a stick in her hand and pretended to be fighting some unknown magical beast that Merlin had no doubt told her all about. “The stories that young girl tells. She has a wonderful imagination. Talking of King Arthur and his knights as if she was actually there to witness it all.”  

“Takes after me I’m afraid,” Merlin chuckled before sipping his tea.   

“She won’t tell me why she got suspended, she gets upset whenever I mention school.”  

Merlin sighed. “I think there are a few kids there picking on her because she lives with her grandfather. But this time it was because of her friend, Matty said a boy was bullying Hana and wouldn’t stop. Matty ended up hitting him.”  

“Goodness,” Lady Thornberry raised her hand to her mouth. “You wouldn’t think a little sweetheart like her could do something like that.  

“I’m just glad it was for the right reason. I wouldn’t be so lenient if it was her being the bully.”    

Lady Thornberry smiled at Merlin. “You have done such a good job in raising her.”  

“Couldn’t have done it without you,” he rested his hand on top of hers and gave it a squeeze.   

Chapter 3: Matthew Hopkins

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not.

Flowers In Your Hair - The Lumineers
Little Lion Man -Mumford and Sons
What I Do - Sons Of The East
Lullaby - Lord Huron
Centre of Gravity - The Brazen Youth

“Did I ever tell you about the witch trials?” Merlin said one night as Matty was sat on the floor doing her homework.

Sonm

“No, I don’t think so.”  

“Buckle up kiddo, this is a gooden.” Matty put her pencil down and turned to face him. “Matthew Hopkins, you’ve heard of him right?” Matty shook her head. “What do they teach you these days? Matthew Hopkins was the witchfinder general, which meant he went around looking for witches to burn at the stake.”  

“He sounds lovely.”  

" Oh indeed. I was living as an old man at that time, so I can see how I looked pretty suspicious, I was older than everyone else, I survived every wave of plague, and my harvest was always good. So someone called for the witchfinder general…”

 

1645 

Merlin didn’t have time to react, they were banging his door down. He was in the middle of making a stew, of all things, he did love a good stew back in the day, the ingredients were surprisingly a lot nicer in the Middle Ages. He supposed it helped that he could just magic any dirt and grime away… As I was saying, he was making a stew and then his door was on the floor.   

“Hello gentlemen,” he said.  

“Are you Merlin Hunithson?” said one of the silly looking men with big hats.  

“Depends on who’s asking,” he sneered.  

“Matthew Hopkins.” A figure emerged from the centre of the men and stood tall.  

“Who?”  

 "M atthew Hopkins,” he repeated.  

“Sorry, don’t think I know who that is,” Merlin replied. Of course he knew who that buffoon was. Everyone in England knew his name.  

“I am the witchfinder general,” barked Matthew Hopkins.  

“Right…” Merlin lifted the wooden spoon to his mouth then grimaced slightly. “Needs more salt.”  

“I am here because we have been told that you are a witch.”   

“Oh, right. Well, by all means come on in.” Merlin went to find the salt.  

“You are to come with us and be tested.”  

“Ooo, not painful I hope.” Clanking noises were heard from his pantry.  

“You must take this seriously!” the man shouted. A few of his men looked to one another.  

“Of course, witches are very serious things indeed. Make you late for dinner! Or is that adventures…? Oh, you wouldn’t know anyway,” Merlin waved a hand to dismiss the idea. “Stupid crystals always show me things that don’t make sense yet.”  

“Ah ha!” Matthew Hopkins shouted, “You just admitted to using crystals.”  

“Oh, good grief. Quiet down, will you? My cat is sleeping.” He motioned to the black cat.  Of course I use crystals, how else can I get salt for my stew?”  

“But-“  

“Talking of stew, would you like some?”  

“We are taking you and you shall be tested!” Matthew Hopkins motioned to his men and they advanced forward, but Merlin turned and ran out of the back door.   

“Catch me if you can!” he shouted to them before cackling. Now, unfortunately for Merlin, he was in his Dragoon state, so he couldn’t run very far, or fast, without his hip popping out of place. They soon caught him and dragged him back to their leader.   

“Now, witch, you will come with us or you will die.”  

“Aren’t I going to die if I come with you anyway?”  

“That all depends on if you are a witch or not.”  

“How will you test me?”  

“We shall take you to the river, strip you to your undergarments, bound you, and throw you into the river.”  

Merlin scoffed. “And what purpose does that pose?”  

“If you sink, you are innocent. But if you float, you are a witch.”  

“Where did you get this logic hmm?”  

Matthew Hopkins stood up straighter, he didn’t like to be made a fool of. “Surely you have heard of Malleus Maleficarum?”  

“Ah!” Merlin squealed, “Are you sure you didn’t just cast a spell on me ?”  

“Silence!” Matthew Hopkins ordered. Merlin zipped his mouth.   

As they dragged Merlin through the small village, they created a rather large gathering, it seemed everyone was here to watch Merlin die.   

“Have you any last words, witch?”  

Merlin thought for a moment. “A curse on all your houses!” he boomed. He was dunked and he started to bob, he heard the gasps of the people. He couldn’t help but chuckle, bubbles floating to the top of the water.  

“I knew he was a witch!” one man shouted.   

“He seemed so nice,” another woman said. He knew that was Mary, he liked Mary. But soon he began to sink once his lungs ran out of oxygen. He sank to the bottom where he waited. You see, Merlin already knew what was going to happen, this wasn’t the first time he’d been drowned, and he’s sure it wouldn’t be the last. He closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.   

 

2016 

“Then what happened?” Matty asked.  

“What always happens when I die… I came back to life. I awoke in the crystal cave, hundreds of miles away from my home. So I decided to go to somewhere else, I went to Essex.”  

“What happened in Essex?”  

“That’s for another day.”  

“Grandpaaaa,” Matty wined.  

“You’ve had enough stories today young lady, get on with your homework.”  

Matty huffed but continued doing her maths homework.  

 

*  

 

“Can anyone tell me who King Arthur was?” asked Mr Roberts.  

Matty’s hand went straight up. “He is the once and future king. He was king of Camelot and ruled for many years until his death at the battle of Camlann.”    

“Of course you would know that,” snickered a girl from the other side of the room. “Isn’t your grandpa like mental about all things Arthurian. Is his name even Merlin? Or is he just a big fan?”    

“So what?” Matty spat back.  

“Enough!” said Mr Roberts. “That is correct Matty, can you tell me about Arthur?”  

“He was noble and just and a fair ruler. He married Guinevere and they ruled happily until his death. He wasn’t able to make magic legal in his reign, but Queen Guinevere did. And when Merlin returned to Camelot after sending Arthur away to the lake, he became court sorcerer and protected them for many years until Camelot fell. Now it’s hidden under rocks that Merlin brought from the earth.”  

“Very good, except Camelot fell and was lost to time, there are no records of it existing after the 6 th century.”    

“That’s because Merlin hid it, he told me.”    

“Your grandfather was it?” laughed the same girl. “He’s mental, really, thinking he’s Merlin.”  

Matty’s anger bubbled. It was always like this, she couldn’t control when it was about to burst, she just felt and then did. “At least my grandfather is alive,” she snapped. Everyone in the class went silent.  

“Matilda!” Mr Roberts said horrified. “There will be no such behaviour is this classroom. You are in year seven now, we will not tolerate bullying.”  

“Me? Bullying her? She’s the one that’s saying my grandfather is crazy!” Matty shouted. “My grandfather is not crazy!”   

“Matilda, if you don’t calm down I’ll have to call your head of year.”  

“Make her apologise then.”  

Mr Roberts rubbed his fingers on the bridge of his nose.  “Josie, apologise to Matty, Matty apologise to Josie.” The two glared at each other. “Now!” Mr Roberts ordered.   

“Sorry,” Josie muttered.  

“Matty?”   

“Sorry,” she said through gritted teeth.  

“Good. Who knew Arthurian Legends could be so tense,” he joked, the class laughed. But Josie’s eyes were locked on Matty’s, and Matty’s onto hers.  

At lunch time, Matty could feel eyes on her back, she turned around and saw Josie look away quickly, laughing with her friends.  

“Just ignore them,” Hana said to her. Hana was Matty’s best friend in the whole world. They had known each other since they were three, when Merlin took her to nursery, and they became inseparable ever since.  

Her next class after lunch was PE which she enjoyed. They were split into boys and girls for PE but they could chose to work with the other if they preferred the sport. Today the girls were doing netball and the boys played football. Matty preferred football so asked to join the boys. Much to her dismay, Josie also wanted to join in with football. They both trudged over there together in silence until Josie spoke.  

“Just so you know, I’m not sorry about earlier.”  

“Neither am I.”  

Josie snarled at her. “My grandfather died, yet you’re not sorry about making fun of it?”  

“All I said is that mine is alive, that’s hardly making fun of it is it?” Matty snapped.  

Josie smirked and ran off to join the boys. They began their match and Josie and Matty were on opposite teams. The boys complained at first, they didn’t want two girls to join them, but they soon found out that both girls could play rather well. Matty had the ball and was running towards the goal when suddenly she was on the floor, disorientated. A whisper came into her ear.  

“At least my parents didn’t abandon me.”  

Matty felt it again, the anger, so strong she was sure she could snap a brick in half. Her stomach twisted and she gripped the surface below her, ripping the grass out as she got to her feet. She saw Josie smirking at her. The coach blew his whistle and was talking about a yellow card for Josie, but none of that mattered when she was suddenly on the floor. Matty was sure she never touched her, but there was no other way that Josie could be lying in the mud.   

“My mother didn’t abandon me,” Matty snarled as she got closer.  

“No? Then where is she?”  

Matty narrowed her eyes. Calm down, she told herself, Grandpa won’t be happy.  

“Just because she died, doesn’t mean she didn’t abandon you. Left you all alone with your wacky grandfather, how long until he dies too?”  

Matty’s eyes flashed red and she lunged for Josie. Unfortunately for Matty’s sanity, the coach held her back just in time, so she wasn’t able to get a punch in. She trashed around, trying to get out of his grip but to no avail.  

“That’s quite enough out of you two. Sit on the bench for the rest of the match, and if I see you even thinking about carrying this on. I will have no hesitation to go straight to the headmaster. Am I understood.”    

“Yes sir,” Josie grumbled.   

Matty had stopped trying to get out of his grip, but he was still holding her collar, as if unsure whether he could trust her.  

“Matty?” he asked.  

“Fine.” She tugged her arm out of his grip and stormed towards the bench, Josie following behind her. She sat and glared as Josie took a seat at the other end of the bench. She had to get her anger under control, she didn’t even realise she pushed Josie until she was on the floor. That can’t happen again, she must be in control.   

 

*  

 

“How was school?” Merlin asked as she got in the car.  

“Fine.”  

“Mr Hunithson!” Merlin looked towards the window and rolled it down. Mr Roberts was there, smiling down at him. Matty held her breath, praying he wouldn’t say anything about Josie.  

“Good afternoon,” Merlin said.  

“I’m Mr Roberts, the history teacher, I just wanted to talk to Matty about the extra homework she asked for. It’s to do with Arthurian Legends, which I understand you are an expert at. Matty told me you used to teach at university.”    

“Indeed I did,” Merlin smiled, he found himself eager to talk more about it. “What is it you’re teaching at the moment?”  

“Just bits and bobs about the legend, nowhere near the level you would have taught. Matty asked for some extra homework on it, she was great in class today. Talking about how fair and just King Arthur would have been, and praising Merlin with his sorcery.”  

“Was she now? I guess I taught her well,” Merlin ginned. Mr Roberts looked at Matty who was looking sheepish. He quickly handed her the papers and waved goodbye. “He’s nice,” Merlin said.   

“Yeah,” she agreed, thankful he didn’t bring the incident up.   

 

*  

 

“So, it’s Friday today, what do you want to watch?” Merlin asked her as they got home.  

“Actually, I’m quite tired today, I think I might just go to bed early.”  

“It’s half four!” Merlin cried.  

Matty forced out a laugh. “I’m really tired Grandpa, we had football today and I ran too much.” She rubbed her nose and Merlin’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t push her. The truth was that Matty was incredibly very tired, and she didn’t know why. It was like all energy had been sucked out of her. Ever since she pushed Josie.   

“I’ll bring you up some apple crumble then.”  

“Sounds nice.”  

Matty went upstairs and collapsed into bed, not bothering to take off her uniform. She awoke to a slight knock on the door. Merlin had appeared with apple crumble.  

“Fancy doing anything tomorrow?” he asked.  

“No, I better do the extra homework for Mr Roberts.” Which wasn’t a lie this time, but she was also still very tired.  

Chapter 4: Robin Hood

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not.

Like Real People Do - Hozier
Unbreakable - BUNT
These Days - Ocie Elliot
Final Masquerade - Linkin Park
Wrecked - Imagine Dragons

As per their tradition, Merlin would read any book that Matty wanted as a bedtime story. They’ve been through many good ones like The Hobbit ( imagine Merlin’s surprise when he finally discovered that what his crystal showed him was a clip of the Hobbit movie. He was not impressed.) Peter pan, Charlotte’s web, Alice in Wonderland, Narnia, Harry Potter (it was equally surprising when he saw references to himself. Matty made him take the Pottermore quiz and he was in fact a Slytherin), and many more. But today, Matty wanted him to read Robin Hood.  

“Ohhhh, now that is a good story. You know, I actually met him,” Merlin said it with such fondness.  

“You met Robin Hood?” Matty said, sitting up in her bed.  

“Oh yeah. He was… incredible.”  

“Really!? Tell me more!”  

“Where to begin? Robin Hood was a great man. When King John was ruling over Britain, Robin tried his best to, as you know, steal from the rich and give to the poor, and he was brilliant at it. He would often shoot an arrow into the distance to make the horses stop, if the people he was mugging were in a carriage, and he would then stealthily rob the men. They hardly knew he was there, unlike that Dick Turpin, he was a real piece of work. One day I was walking through the forest, I’d just arrived in Nottingham…”  

Somewhere between 1199 and 1216 (Merlin can’t quite remember)  

Merlin was strolling the forest, eyes set on the road when all of a sudden, he saw a shadow behind the trees. He was always good with spotting things other people didn’t, curtesy of Arthur’s training, and he was quick with his body. He walked on a few more steps, so that he passed the tree and then he turned around, locking eyes with the shadow.   

“Do not hide,” he said. “Who are you? Why were you watching me?”  

“Are you a lord?” said the shadow.  

“Do I look like one?” Merlin scoffed.  

“Are you a friend of King John?”  

“Definitely not.” Merlin couldn’t stand the king. Admittedly, he’d never found another king worthy of taking Arthur’s place but especially not John. He was terrible, utterly useless. He was cruel and cowardly, and Merlin didn’t stand for it.  

“What’s your name?” The shadow got closer.  

“Merlin.”  

“Have you heard of Robin Hood?”  

“Is that who you are?”  

“Not me. Him.” The shadow nodded over Merlin’s shoulder, he turned and became face to face with a fairly young man. Blonde hair, stubbled beard, a few freckles dotted around his face, and dressed in green with and bow slung around his back. He looked quite similar to Arthur.  

“Hello there, you say you’re no friend of John?”  

“Absolutely not.”  

“Then perhaps you can help us,” said Robin, rubbing his chin.  

“Why should I?”  

“My father was killed by King John’s henchmen, I would like revenge, but I need as much help as I can get.”  

“I see.”  

“Would you like to help the people?” Robin asked.  

Merlin thought for a moment, “Okay.” He had nothing else to do.  

And that was how Merlin became a member of the Merry Men.   

 

*  

 

This next part of the tale he did not tell Matty, he did not tell anyone in fact. It’s far too explicit for anyone’s ears but his.   

Of course, he wasn’t much of a fighter, he left that to Arthur, but he knew how to hide his magic incredibly well, and unfortunately, he had to hide it again once Camelot fell and the memories of magic long forgotten. He was used to it.  

But Robin knew.  

They got into a fight with a group of bandits a few years after Merlin had joined them, the bandits had purposefully cornered the Merry Men and blood was shed. Robin was busy swinging his sword at another man that he didn’t notice the one creeping up behind him.  

“Arthur!” Merlin shouted “Look out!” Once he realised what he said it was too late, but at least Robin had heard him. He swung around and sliced the bandit, blood spilling onto the floor.   

“Thanks Merlin!” he shouted back.  

The fight continued and Merlin couldn’t help but watch Robin. The way he swung his sword looked so much like Arthur. He stepped forward to get a closer look when a bandit swung their sword and sliced Merlin’s side. He shouted and fell to the floor. Robin turned around to find the owner of the scream and saw Merlin on the ground. He began towards him, a flash of panic on his face. Merlin was trying to get his attention that he had several men on his back, but Robin was only focused on getting to him. Merlin’s eyes flashed and a branch came crashing down on the bandits. This snapped Robin out if his trance and managed to fight the others off with the help of his Merry Men.   

“How on earth did you do that?” Robin whispered to Merlin once he was by his side.  

“What?” his breath got caught in his throat, he’s usually so careful, but if someone ever did find out, he’d just move and not come back for a few hundred years. But this time it was different, he liked Robin, loved Robin, if he’d let himself admit it, he reminded him of Arthur, he didn’t want to leave.  

“That branch can’t just fall on its own. I saw you looking at it, your eyes flashed gold and then it fell.”  

“I- I didn’t- I don’t know what you mean,” he stuttered.  

“Merlin, it’s okay.” Robin stroked the warlock’s hair, looking at his wound. “That’s a nasty one, let’s get you patched up.”  

“I’ll be fine.”  

“Merlin,” he warned.  

“Robin, I’ll be fine,” he urged.  

“Do you have magic?” he suddenly asked.  

Merlin didn’t know what to say. Yes? Then he’d have to leave. No? Then he’d be lying to Robin, and to Arthur, and he couldn’t do that again.  

“Yes.”  

“You can heal yourself?”   

“I- yes,” he said confused.  

“Good, come with me then.” Everyone was gathered around them now. “Merlin knows of a healer in these woods, carry on without us, we will meet you in the Harvest Inn as soon as Merlin is able to walk.”  

“Robin, are you sure-“ began one of the men.  

“Go, we will follow soon.”  

So they went, and Robin carried Merlin to a cave. He placed him down and stared at the warlock. Merlin would not meet his eyes. Robin’s hand slowly made its way to Merlin’s chin and moved it upwards; Robin’s eyes were green like the forest, that was the only difference Merlin could focus on.  

“I’m sorry,” Merlin whispered.  

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Robin’s voice was calm and warm, like honey. It made Merlin’s insides tingle.  

“But aren’t you scared? Magic is still thought of as evil,” his eyes began to water slightly as he thought of his past.  

“But you are not,” Robin stated, inching closer, staring at Merlin’s mouth then back to his eyes.  

Merlin kissed him.  

Robin kissed him back.   

Merlin flinched when Robin touched his wound. s

“Sorry,” he pulled away.  

“No, wait.” Merlin searched inside his pouch and brought out the necessary herbs and cast a spell on himself. Robin watched earnestly, wanting to remember every detail in those flashing amber eyes.  

“Incredible,” he muttered to no one in particular.  

Soon enough, his wound was closing and all that was left was a scar. Merlin had hundreds of them, for the wound may heal but it will leave behind the memory.  

Merlin pulled Robin back to him and they began to kiss once more. Robin’s hands trailed over Merlin’s back, causing him to shiver at the cold touch. Robin slowly made his way to Merlin’s neck and gave delicate kisses to it. A gasp escaped the magician’s mouth before he could cover it. Robin pulled away and smirked.  

“Like that do you?” he teased. Merlin rolled his eyes and pulled Robin to the cold stone floor, straddling him. “How’s your wound?”  

Merlin took off his tunic and smiled. “Better now.”   

Merlin trailed his hands up and down Robin’s stomach, seeing the man flinch when he trailed around his belly button. Merlin was so in awe.  

The next morning, they set off for the Harvest Inn. Two days later and everyone was surprised to see how Merlin’s wound had healed so quickly. Robin looked to him and smirked. Merlin realised he was finally happy. He didn’t want it end.  

But it had to, like all things do. Merlin stopped being part of the Merry Men when King John died.   

Then Robin died. And he was alone again.   

He was tired.   

He was cold.  

He cried.  

 

*  

 

2018  

When he next opened his eyes Matty was thirteen and they were in the car. Matty was slouched in the passenger seat and Merlin was watching her closely. She was suspended again.   

“Matty, we need to talk about it,” he said gently.  

“No, we don’t.”  

“What happened?”  

“Nothing.”  

Merlin sighed but continued to drive. He entered his little driveway and shut off the engine. He admired the surrounding trees and greenery, and butterflies, brilliant blue butterflies. Then the slam of the door made him look over to Matty’s side. She was already gone. He gave her a few hours to defrost before walking up the stairs and knocking on her door. “I’ve made your favourite,” he said. No answer. “Matty please, talk to me.”  

Matilda opened the door slowly and went back to her seat. Merlin placed the apple crumble in front of her and sat on the end of the bed. “I’ll listen,” was all he said.  

“They were making fun of you,” Matty whispered into her crumble.   

“Of me?”  

“Everyone says you’re the crazy old man. They say you turn children into frogs and put hexes on things.”  

Merlin couldn’t help but chuckle. If only she knew. “Is that why you punched her?”  

“Partly.”  

“What else?”  

“They just don’t like me, I’m the granddaughter of the freak, which makes me a freak too. They try their hardest to get me into trouble all the time, I just want to learn.” Now that she started, she couldn’t find it in herself to stop. “I like school, I like books and learning, but they make it so hard. They’re always on my back, always getting me in trouble. But they’ve learned that I can take it, so they move onto someone else who can’t.”  

“Hana?” Merlin assumed. They'd been friends for years; Hana was the reason why Matty got suspended last time too.  

“Yes. Poor Hana can’t take it as well as I can. They push me to the floor and I get right back up, but Hana doesn’t. She’s timid and shy and I just want to protect her. So I hurt them. I’m sorry.” She looked to the floor, her hands fiddling in her lap. “Half the time I don’t even realise I’m doing it.”  

Merlin got up and hobbled his way over to her, he placed a hand on her back and gave it a rub. “Matty, my dear, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I will go into school and have a word with the headteacher, you can find I can be rather persuasive when I want to be.”    

“Thanks grandpa,” she sniffed.  

Merlin looked at her a little longer before smiling. “What would make you happy right now? Ice cream? A movie?”  

“A story.”  

“Okay, let me think…”  

“What happened in Essex?” she asked.  

Merlin laughed. “Okay, settle in. After Matthew Hopkins drowned me, I went to Essex, and you’ll never guess who I bumped into…”  

 

 

1446  

“Well, well, fancy seeing you here,” Merlin said, looking up from his stew. He was still old, and standing in his broken-down door frame was no other than Matthew Hopkins himself.  

“What the…” the witchfinder began, his eyes were bulging and frantically searching Merlin's face.  

“Don't be shy, we’re basically old friends at this point.”  

“I don’t understand…” Matthew Hopkins said.  

“Of course you don’t, not with your tiny pea brain. I met a man like you once, many, many years ago. Called himself Aredian. He was also a supposed witchfinder general. But in the end he got what he deserved, perhaps you will too. Stew?” Merlin held up the pot.  

“I watched you drown.” He was in complete and utter shock, for the first time ever, Matthew Hopkins did not know what to say.  

“Charming.” Merlin raised his white bushy eyebrows.  

“I brought up your body from the river. What witchcraft is this!?” (Merlin finds that his body tends to linger until he physically leaves the cave).  

“Wrong. Not witchcraft. That’s completely different to magic, it’s more hocus pocus.”  

“Witch!” Matthew Hopkins shouted, and once again Merlin was caught and brought to trial.  

“What is it this time?” he sighed.  

“If we prick you and you bleed you are innocent, if you do not, you are a witch.”  

Merlin nodded, seeing absolutely no sense in any of it. “Okay then.”  

Matthew Hopkins did not do the pricking himself, he brought forward a middle aged bald man who was holding a needle. Merlin held his arm out and the man got to pricking. Imagine Merlin’s surprise when the needle did not make him bleed, he almost thought these silly test were actually accurate. That was until he saw that the needle was completely blunt.  

“Oh for goodness sake,” he said and snatched the needle from the man and went towards Matthew Hopkins. He grabbed the witchfinder generals arm and pulled up his sleeve before pricking him. It did not bleed, the crowd gasped.  

“A witch!” Merlin cried.  

“What? No! I’m not a witch you fools.” But the people were not listening. They grabbed both Merlin and Matthew and readied the stake. Merlin was rather excited; he’d never been burnt before. He remembered the time in Camelot where he was caught and nearly burnt, but thanks to Gaius, he was able to escape. He laughed as he was being tied up.   

“Well, Matthew Hopkins. I’ll see you in my next life… Or maybe not,” he gave one last chuckle before the flames rose higher, and Merlin felt himself begin to burn. It hurt like hell, it was worse than anything he’d ever imagined, but weirdly he felt… happy.  

 

 

2018  

“Where did you go after that?” Matty asked.  

“I went to London, and let me tell you, King Charles II knew how to party.”  

Matty let herself laugh at his comment. It’s been a long time since she heard any of his stories, she was always too tired or too busy or too angry. Merlin had started taking her to therapy, it helped a little bit, but when she tried to explain the anger she felt deep inside of her, the therapist didn’t usually know how to respond.   

 

Chapter 5: Henry VIII

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not.

Hometown - Twenty One Pilots
Love Love Love - Of Monsters and Men
Blue - Billie Eilish
Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve
Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I want - The Smiths (or Deftones, both are great versions)

In her free time, Matty liked to go and see Old Lady Thornberry.  She would knock the special knock with the butterfly knocker and wait to be greeted with a cookie and some hot milk; it always cheered her up.   

“Young lady, shouldn’t you be in school?” Thornberry asked disapprovingly whilst handing over the goods.  

“Didn’t Grandpa tell you?”   

“I haven’t seen him in a few days now, why?”  

“Oh. I um, got suspended again,” she said quietly.  

Old Lady Thornberry huffed and marched into the kitchen. Matty felt incredibly small, there were only two people in the world she felt like she could disappoint, her grandfather and Old Lady Thornberry.  

“What was it this time?”  

“I lost control again,” she said if her smallest voice. “I don’t even know how it happens. Once minute they’re picking on me or Hana, the next they’re on the floor. I don’t even remember touching them.” She dipped her cookie into the milk and took a bite, instantly relaxing.  

“What are their names?”   

“It’s mainly this girl called Josie, she’s had it out for me since the beginning of school. She’s always picking on me and in my space, she won’t ever let me be.”  

“Josie, you say. Josephine?”  

“Yes, do you know her?”  

“I know her father. Donald Rigby, nasty piece of work. I see the apple hasn’t fallen too far from the tree then.”  

“How do you know him?”  

“He’s the head of the school council in Avalon, thinks he’s top of the top.”  

Matty huffed, “No wonder Josie always seems to get away with it then.”   

“Don’t you pay any attention to her, you’re ten times better than she could ever wish to be.”  

“I just want to know why I feel so angry all the time, it’s exhausting.”  

Thornberry sat for a moment, staring at Matty until she sighed. “Have you spoken to your grandfather about this?”  

“No, I don’t want to make him worry.”  

“Sometimes I think it’s best to open up, he could help.”  

“How could he help? He can barely get out of bed in the morning; I hate seeing him like this! I can’t lose him, and I feel like he’s slipping away every time I’m near him. I’m scared,” she whispered.  

“Oh sweetie,” Thornberry moved to the chair next to Matty and wrapped her arms around her. “I can tell you now, your grandfather is not going away for a long, long time, he’s got something important that needs to be done before he can do that.”  

“Like what?” Matty sniffed.    

“Well, for starters he has to watch you grow up. But the reason he’s on this earth, the reason he’s so old and doddery, is because he’s been waiting a long time.”  

“For who?”  

“You should know better than anybody.”  

Matty let silence fill the air before rolling her eyes and sighing. “They’re just stories, Thornberry. Arthur and Merlin aren’t real. Just very good stories he tells.”  

“Are they? You look into his eyes and tell me he isn’t part of the ancient universe, look into my eyes.” Matty pulled back and stared at the old woman. She staired into her green eyes, fogged with years of grief. They did seem old, an unknown kind of old. Matty shook her head.  

“You actually believe my grandfather is the Merlin?” Matty gave her a look of bewilderment.  

“Oh, I know it. Look out there at my flowers. They have always died until your grandfather tampered with them, now they live in all seasons when they shouldn’t. The blue butterflies that surround us should not be here, they have a connection with your grandfather somehow, and he keeps them here. And most of all, the most damming evidence I have ever seen, your grandfather destroyed the tower over the lake. I saw it with my own eyes. It was the day-“ she looked down, “the day your mother died, I looked out of my window and saw Merlin down by the lake, he was shaking and I was about to go out and wrap him in a blanket when he shouted as loud as the giants of the old world. The earth rumbled and the walls shook, then the lightning came down upon the tower. I saw it all, not that I ever told your grandfather, of course he knows that I know, but I never told him I saw that. Everyone blamed an earthquake, but I know the truth. And I can say with certainty, that Merlin is not going anywhere.”  

Matty was staring at her open mouthed. She can’t be serious. Matty was starting to understand why she got bullied back when she believed Merlin was really Merlin, it’s just absurd. But then she thought of when she was a child, the things she would see Merlin do which she couldn’t quite make sense of.   

No. Preposterous, that’s what it was.  

“I know you’re trying to comfort me, but you sound like a loony,” Matty said.  

Old Lady Thornberry shrugged. “Believe me or don’t, I know what I saw, and I believe every story that has come out of Merlin’s mouth.”  

They didn’t speak of it again.  

 

*  

 

“We’re focusing more on the Tudors this year in school, we’ve just learned more about Henry VIII,” Matty said a year later, now fourteen. Merlin practically fell off his chair when she said that.  

“Oh goodness, I knew I’d have to have this conversation with you one day. Matty there’s something you should know…”  

 

 

1526  

Merlin was tired. He was so very tired. A curse had been established after the death of Arthur, Prince of Wales, also King Henry VIII’s older brother. Merlin was outraged to find that the next king of England would be called Arthur. There was one Arthur and one Arthur only allowed on that throne. Admittedly the lad was a gentle soul, polite and amiable. But he was not Arthur. Soon after he died at 15 a rumour began to spread that any future king called Arthur would never have the throne. It was cursed, they said, that name. Only the true Arthur could yield its power. Merlin didn’t know where the rumour came from, but he believed it.  

Not only was he tired, but he was also bored out of his mind. He wondered just how far his magic potions could go.  

“My, aren’t you a pretty little thing,” said a dark voice. Merlin spun around and was face to face with none other than King Henry VIII. Just his luck. “Fancy some fun?” he sneered.  

“You’re so kind, your majesty, but I’m afraid I must decline.” Merlin’s voice was high and sharp, unknown to him.  

“Come now pretty lady, what’s your name?”  

“My name is Anne Boleyn.”   

For Merlin was a girl. A woman. A lady. He had breasts and… well I’m sure you can guess what he had. The potion had worked, after a lot of failed attempts, and now Merlin was living his life as a lady. It was just unfortunate that he had to get the attention of Henry.   

“Well Anne, you wouldn’t want to say no to a king, would you?”  

It took everything in Merlin not to spit in his face. A king? A KING? He was no king.   

The banquet carried on long into the night and Merlin was free of the king’s watchful eye, he was busy seducing another maid by now. Merlin thought he was free to live out his life but soon enough Henry was back and demanding to be married. Merlin thought on it and decided that if he was to marry Henry, then no other woman would have to put up with the ‘king ’, for he would much rather save a few women, who did not have the luxury of living an infinite life, from eternal damnation and live it himself. He would outlive Henry anyway. So he agreed.   

Now the things he did with Henry… he is not proud of them. I will spare you the details, he was young and intrigued. And I can tell you now, that he never became a woman again. He was scarred for life after that, and I know what you’re thinking. Writer, Anne Boleyn had a child, so does that mean Merlin is a mother?   

No.   

Anne Boleyn never gave birth. He told Henry he was pregnant and during the whole nine months he asked to be kept away from him, he did not want Henry to see him like that. Then nine months later, Merlin did some screaming, a little panting and a baby girl was born. Except it wasn’t his. He had disguised himself and wondered about the town and stumbled upon a lady on the street, who was pregnant, and asked if he could have the baby. She said yes (she was a widow and couldn’t afford another mouth to feed). So once little Elizabeth was born, Merlin claimed her as his child.  

Admittedly, this was probably the most bizarre thing Merlin had ever done. But it was fun.  

And then the treason happened. Merlin couldn’t tell you how it all went down, for he had no real idea himself, all he knew was one day he was being taken to the dungeons. This was the first time he had been beheaded. It was not pleasant at all.  

 

*  

 

Things did not improve for Matty. School was hard and Josie made her life hell. But then a very strange rumour had travelled around the school. Apparently, according to one of Josie’s ‘best friends’, Josie loved Matty.   

That was it, the whole rumour. That Josie was bullying Matty because she loved her. Matty was beyond shocked, and all the boys were asking her what she was going to do about it.   

“Nothing,” she replied, which confused them.  

“What?” asked one of them.  

“So what? It doesn’t take away from the fact that she made my life hell. I don’t care what the reason was.”  

Soon, Josie stopped bullying Matty, she stopped even looking in her direction. It was all around the school by now, everyone was talking about it, Josie’s friends ditched her to follow the one who started the rumour, and soon enough Josie stopped coming to school. They were told she transferred. Good riddance , thought Matty.  

And just like that, school became slightly more bearable, Matty still found it hard to control her anger, the smallest things would set her off these days, and she began to stay inside more and more, often skipping school sometimes. The world was grey to her; there was no colour and nothing to hold onto. She missed her mother so very much, she wished she knew what it was like to have motherly love. But then she thought of Old Lady Thornberry, with her cookies and her milk, with how much she cared for Matty. That was when she realised, she had motherly love all along.    

 

*  

 

On her sixteenth birthday, Matty only wanted Hana, her grandfather and Old Lady Thornberry with her. She received a gorgeous pearl bracelet with a blue seashell pendant from Thornberry, she promised to wear it every day. And she did. The four of them went to the aquarium and had a good time, but things inside of Matty still felt off, still grey. For some reason she had a terrible feeling deep inside of her.   

That night she woke up screaming, For the first time in her life she had had a nightmare. Hana was there by her side, and then Merlin burst in through the door.   

“What’s happened?” he blabbered, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes.   

“She was having a nightmare, and I was trying to wake her!” Hana panicked.  

“A nightmare?” Merlin’s stomach sank. “What was it about?” he asked Matty who was covered in sweat.   

“Old Lady Thornberry,” she began, panting, “she died. She was tending to her weeds in the gutter and fell from the ladder, she hit her head on the way down, there was blood everywhere.” She shut her eyes at the memory willing it to go away. “I have to check on her.” She scrambled out of bed and ran out of the door, not bothering to put any shoes on.  

“Matty wait!” Merlin called after her. But Matty had gone.  

She banged on the door hard and fast. “Old Lady Thornberry!” she shouted over and over.  

The door opened and a very annoyed looking old lady stood there in her nighty and her pink slippers.  

“What on earth has you making this racket at three o’clock in the morning!?” she demanded before seeing the scared look of Matty’s face. “What is it dear? Is everything all right? Weren’t you having a sleepover with-” Before she could finish, Matty flung her arms around the old woman and held on tight. A few minutes later she still hadn’t moved, and Merlin came hobbling up as fast as he could, clinging to Hana for support.   

“I told you she was fine,” he said softly. But Matty heard a hint of nervousness in his voice.  

“Will someone please tell me what is going on!” she demanded.  

“I dreamt you fell, you hit your head and died,” Matty sobbed into her chest.   

“It will take more than a fall to kill me,” she said with conviction. And Matty believed her. She apologised and told her not to go weeding the gutter any time soon. She got a slap round the head and another hug before she was on her way.  

Chapter 6: Lady Thornbury

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not.

Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine
Burn It Down - Daughter
Anchor - Novo Amor
Rosyln - Bon Iver
You Are A Memory - Message To Bears

Another year passed and Matty was soon off to college, she decided she wanted to stay near Avalon, to keep an eye on her grandfather. She learned to drive, and Merlin bought her a car for her seventeenth birthday. She decided to study history and English, both of her favourite subjects.  

She entered her history class and saw with much dismay there was someone from her old school also taking it. But it wasn’t just anyone.  

The girl looked up and saw Matty staring, her eyes widened, and she looked down at her books. Matty straightened her back and walked over to the other side of the room. She did not want to deal with Josie Rigby any longer. But unfortunately, the fates were not on her side and the first project involved them pairing up. The professor chose the partners and Matty walked slowly over to Josie. She sat down without a sound.  

“You can start whenever you like, but remember its due in next Friday, I want you to have fun doing this and getting to know your partner, you’ll be working with them over the next year.” The assignment was to pick any time in history, myth or legend, real or not, and find a character that you think represents the other person the best. Matty refused to look at Josie.   

The lesson ended and thankfully they didn’t have to start the project in class, Matty made a quick getaway, meeting up with Hana who was coming from Geography, of all things, Hana wanted to be a Meteorologist. Hana always joked to Matty that she should have been the one studying to become one instead because Matty always managed to guess what the weather would be doing the next day without looking at the forecast, and often, she would get it right and the forecast would get it wrong.   

Matty told Hana about Josie and they both sat in shock. Matty picked up her books and made her way to English, praying for some peace, but once again, the fates were not on her side.  

“You have to be joking,” she muttered to herself. Josie was staring at her once again, looking incredibly awkward. Thankfully the professor did not make them team up. Matty was about to make a quick exit again when she felt a hand on her arm. She looked up to find Josie staring at her.  

“Can we talk, please,” she said quietly.   

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” Matty said, sliding Josie’s hand off her arm. She quickly grabbed it again.  

“But I have things to say to you.”  

“Come to tell me more about my mother abandoning me?” Matty snapped. Josie’s reaction was pained, and it made Matty feel good.   

“Please, Matilda,” she whispered.  

Matty sighed. “Fine. Why don’t we go to the library and start the project as I’m being forced to partner with you anyway.”  

They both headed to the library and sat in silence. After a few painful minutes Josie began to speak.  

“I’m really sorry about how I acted back then,” she said. “I can explain why I did it, but I understand if you don’t want to hear or forgive me.”  

Matty stared at the pen in her hands. “Why did you hate me?” she whispered.

“At first I didn’t know why you made me so mad, I looked at you and you made me angry and sad all at the same time, I didn’t know why. But then I realised I was jealous of you.”  

“Jealous?!” Matty said just a bit too loud, a few other students stared at her and she ushered her apologies. “Jealous?” she said more quietly, “Of me?”  

Josie nodded. “My grandfather was my best friend, he understood me more than anyone else in my family, I have an older brother and he got all the best grades possible at everything, so I was a disappointment when I proved that I had nothing new to show. It hurt me to see the bond you have with your grandfather. The love you two share. You used to talk about him everyday and it made me mad that I didn’t have that anymore. Then with the whole Arthurian Legends. My grandpa used to tell me all those stories too, about Merlin and the knights of the round table. I was fascinated by them, so when he died they stopped, neither my mother nor father would read to me like he did. I was so lonely.”  

Matty didn’t say anything, so Josie took it as a sign to carry on. “I was so mean to you, at the time I knew it too, but I was hurting so much. I’m not saying that’s an excuse, I know it’s not, nothing I say I’m using as an excuse; I just want you to know I was hurting too. And I took it out on you. Not just because of your grandfather, but because I was so confused.”  

“Confused at what?” Matty asked.  

“Myself. I was wondering why I was acting like that to you when I realised it was more than just because you had a loving grandfather. I liked you. From the first moment you opened your mouth to talk about the legends, I knew I liked you and I hated it. My parents are very strict and very straight about everything, I was already a disappointment in their eyes, so if they knew I liked a girl, it would have been hell. So, I hid it by hurting you. I’m sorry.”  

“It’s not just me you need to apologise to.”  

“Hana,” Josie said. Matty was surprised to know that Josie already knew she had to. Perhaps she was telling the truth, perhaps she really was sorry.  

“I’m not saying I forgive you, what you said really hurt me, but… I think I can work on this project with you.”  

“I understand,” Josie nodded. She had long blonde hair and dark blue eyes that twinkled like starlight in the sunlight streaming though the library windows. Matty looked away, realising she was looking for too long.   

“How about we do our project on Arthurian Legends then?” she suggested, and Josie smiled.  

“You know, I really thought your grandfather was the Merlin,” she chuckled.  

“Really? All those times you made fun of him; you’re telling me you actually believed it?”   

“To be honest, I still do. He’s so well knows around these parts, his family, your family, have been here for centuries. If anyone’s Merlin, it’s your grandfather.”  

“You’re not the only one who thinks that,” Matty smiled, thinking of Old Lady Thornberry. “Why don’t we go visit my friend, she loves everything Arthurian too, she can tell you some stories.”  

Josie smiled. “I would love that.”  

 

*  

 

Matty started the car and they awkwardly went to visit Old Lady Thornberry. Matty did her special knock and waited like always. She did it again and waited. And waited. And waited.   

“Something’s not right,” she said, suddenly feeling the feeling she got back in the aquarium. She began frantically knocking but there was still no answer. She tried the handle and it opened, that wasn’t unusual, Thornberry usually left it open, mainly for Matty to enter if she didn’t hear the knock. But the only reason this was strange was because of the feeling. Matty rushed in and headed straight to the garden, like she knew what was happening. Josie was by her side in seconds and took a sharp breath.  

“Oh gods,” she muttered.  

Matty seemed to forget she was there, she looked to her and then back to Old Lady Thornberry. “Josie, go- go get- please. My grandfather.” Josie didn’t need telling again, she was out of the door and heading to the house that Matty had pointed out in the car.   

She knocked on the door, no, she banged on it repeatedly until Merlin answered. His eyes narrowed at the sight of her. He knew exactly who she was.  

“Please, Merlin,” she panted. “It’s the old woman, the one up the road. We were going to visit but she- she’s not- please come!”  

Merlin eyes widened and he grabbed his cane from the door and set off at a fairly quick walk. Josie was beside him, trying to hold him steady but he shoved her off. He practically ran into the house and into the garden where Old Lady Thornberry lay. Her head was cracked, and blood was everywhere. She was dead. He looked for Matty who was crouched on the floor by a bush, rocking back and forth on her feet, her arms covering her face.  

“Matty!” Merlin shouted before striding over. “My dear girl, are you OK?”   

Matty sobbed, shaking her head. “I- I-“ she could hardly talk through the intense sniffs. “Rang- ambulance.”  

“Clever girl,” Merlin said, stroking her head. But he knew there was nothing they could do for her, nothing even he could do.   

The ambulance came and took away the body, she had no family to inform, only the neighbours who were already outside trying to nosy their way in.    

“Matty,” Merlin began that night, stroking her hair as she tried to fall asleep.    

“It was just like my dream grandpa. That dream I had on my birthday a year ago.”  

“Shush now, go to sleep. Be brave. Be strong” But he was worried, my gods he was worried. He stroked her hair until he heard the small snores that indicated she had fallen asleep. Another death. Another life had been taken from him. He had half a mind to blow the rest of the tower to pieces. Always watching but never helping.   

Never. Ever. Helping.  

 

*  

 

The next morning Matty awoke to the sunlight bright in her room. How awful , she thought, that the world is shining when the sun had died last night.  

Merlin knocked on the door and wondered in with some strawberries. “I’ve rang the college, they know you might not be in for a few days, or weeks, however long you need.”  

“I have- I have a partner project to do,” she said barely audible.  

“I’ve spoken to Josie, she understands that you need time.”  

“Josie,” she repeated.   

“She apologised to me for everything that she did to you, I think beneath it, she’s a nice girl who did some terrible things. She reminds me of someone else,” he said that part to himself, but Matty knew.  

“Morgana?” Merlin nodded. “You know,” Matty sat up, “Old Lady-“ she couldn’t bring herself to finish her name. “She- she thought you were really Merlin. The Merlin.” The wizard raised his fluffy white brows.  

“I should hope so, I did tell her”  

“She said she saw you blow the tower apart, on the night my mother died. And she said she knew the flowers grew because of your magic, and the butterflies…”   

“What a wise old woman she was indeed,” Merlin said with such warmth.   

 "Was," Matty repeated. “My dream…”  

“Yes, your dream. Sometimes it happens, some people are able to see things like that, they were called seers in the old world.”  

“Like Morgana,” Matty said.  

“Yes. Like Morgana.”  

“What if I end up like her?” Matty said quietly.  

“You won’t. I won’t let it happen, not again…”  

 

*  

 

Matty went back to college a few days after, Josie felt like she was treading on eggshells around her, not knowing what could make her blow. They headed to the library and began their project. They studied and drew up character profiles, Matty was adamant that Josie was Morgana, after what Merlin said about her being a nice girl but doing a bad thing. Josie was adamant of Matty being Merlin, headstrong, determined, a loyal friend. Matty didn’t try to protest.   

They sent in their profile and got an A. Things were slipping back to normality very slowly. Josie apologised to Hana, and the three of them soon began to get along, eating lunch together when they got the chance. Matty would laugh with them and joke.  

But at the end of the day, she would crawl home and up the stairs to hide under the covers and cry. She didn’t see any colour these days, nothing. And the pain inside her chest was growing, it was getting so big she was sure she was going to burst soon. She hadn’t had any more nightmares, but that didn’t take away the horror she felt every night as she tried to fall asleep, terrified of what she might see.  

Terr ified of who she might become.  

Chapter 7: Old Friends Reunited

Notes:

TW mentions of suicide

a playlsit for every chapter because why not
I Wanted To Leave - SYML
Growing Pains - Ethel Cain
5 More Minutes - Sydney Rose
Not - Big Theif
Catterpillar - Mountains of the Moon

Her new history teacher was nice, she liked him a lot. His name was Professor Knight, and he was a very good teacher, in his early thirties at least. After Matty’s first class in the new year, he called her to his desk.

“It says here your last name is Hunithson.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You look strangely familiar. I may be old, but I would still recognise those eyes.” Matty’s eyes were a nice blue, exactly the same as Merlin’s. Matty began to feel a bit creeped out by her new teacher. She stepped back. “No, sorry. I don’t mean to frighten you. Your father, is he called Merlin by any chance?”

Matty’s eyes widened. “Um, no. But that’s my grandfather’s name.”

Professor Knight smiled and said softly, “Grandfather. Would it be alright if I met with him?”

“Um, okay,” she said unsure of what was happening.

“Just tell him that there’s someone who wants to talk to him about King Arthur.”

“You want to talk to him about King Arthur? Like the legends?”

“They are not just legends, hasn’t your grandfather told you anything?”

“I- he used to tell me stories all the time about the adventures of Merlin.”

“Can you tell me one?”

Matty looked at the door, wanting to leave. “Okay. Um, when Merlin arrived in Camelot, he punched King Arthur without knowing it was him.”

Professor Knight let out an incredibly loud laugh. “Is that what he told you? The cheek of him. I can tell you now, that Merlin did no such thing. He definitely tried to punch Arthur, but he failed and got thrown in the dungeons. Tell him I’d like to see him as soon as possible, tomorrow perhaps, tell him to come to my classroom.”

“Okay.” Matty nodded and then escaped out of the room.

 

*

 

“My new history professor wants to see you,” she said at dinner.

Merlin gave her a look. “What have you done now?”

“Nothing, he says he wants to talk to you about King Arthur,” she shoved a tomato into her mouth.

Merlin’s eyes fluttered with longing and excitement. “King Arthur? Did he tell you why?”

“No, but I told him the story of Merlin hitting Arthur and he said that you lied in the story. Merlin tried to punch Arthur then got himself thrown in jail.”

“He-“ Merlin’s eyes bulged. “How did he know that?”

Matty furrowed her brows. “What?”

“It’s true. I did get thrown in jail, but how could he possibly know that?”

“For god’s sake grandpa, it’s a story, you didn’t do those things.”

But Merlin wasn’t listening. He was thinking about the stranger asking to meet him. Except Merlin didn’t think he was a stranger, he thought he knew exactly who was asking to meet with him.

The next day Merlin was up ready before Matty was. But soon enough she came down and sat at the table, shoving her breakfast around her plate.

“Eat,” Merlin ordered, he noticed how much skinnier she was getting, and he didn’t like it. He knew she was grieving, but she still had to eat. Matty obeyed and slowly put the food inside of her. “I’m taking you to school today,” Merlin stated. “I need to see your history professor, could you take me to him?”

“Sure.”

When they got to the college, Matty guided Merlin through the corridors until they reached the history rooms. She made her way up and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” said the voice of the professor. Matty opened the door and stepped inside.

“Hello, Matilda, what can I do for you?”

Matty stepped to the side and let Merlin enter. “My grandfather,” Matty said.

Merlin staired wide-eyed and mouth slack at the man in front of him. “I don’t believe it,” he whispered.

“Merlin? Is that really you?” said the professor.

“My gods. I knew. I knew you were alive! I just-“ Merlin choked and tried to swallow his tears. “The cup of life, you drank from it.” Merlin looked to Matty. “Remember, I told you of Sir Leon, the right hand man of Arthur, he drank from the cup of life. He-“ The old man looked back to his old friend. “Leon,” he said softly as he trotted towards the professor, embracing him whole heartedly.

Matty could see tears in Leons eyes and he accepted the hug, returning it too. He had to bend down as Merlin was smaller than him, what with his old age and all.

“You’re an old man,” Leon laughed through tears. “The old man. Dragoon.”

“For now. I haven’t always been. I like to change, well.” He looked back at Matty. “I did like to change before I had a family.”

“You have a family,” Leon whispered. “I would love to meet them.”

Merlin stopped in his tracks. “Oh, well. I’m um- Matty could we have a minute?”

“Sure, I need to get to English anyway.” She gave them both one last strange glance before setting off. Why were the people around her so strange?

Merlin hugged Leon again and then sat on the chair opposite his desk. “I’m afraid Matty is all I have left. Her mother, Gwen, my daughter, died at twenty due to complications giving birth.”

“Gwen,” Leon sobbed. He blew his nose into his tissue. “What a beautiful way to honour her. She would love Matilda, they all would. Gods, I miss them more and more every day.”

“As do I. All this time, I knew you were alive. I just knew it. And here you are. I don’t feel so alone anymore.”

“Me either. It’s been so, so lonely. I’ve had my companions as I’m sure you have, but none of them have been the one, none of them have felt right. And soon I gave up, they all died in the end.”

“I wish we could find a way to end it. We’re so old, Leon. Surely we deserve a break.”

“Actually, they offered me a choice. I went to the lake a few hundred years ago, begging them to take me, to kill me. They said I could either stay on this earth and wait for Arthur to rise again, or be nothing more than the breeze between the trees, the ripples in the water. Never to resurface. I couldn’t leave my king, never.”

“They- They gave you a choice?” Merlin asked. Leon nodded. “Sly bastards!” he barked. “They never offered me a choice, perhaps it’s because I blew their precious tower to bits.”

“Ah, I did think that was you.” They both stared at each other, unable to take in that they were both really there. A knock at the door brought them both back. “Sir? Can we come in?”

“Oh gods.” Leon looked at his clock. “I’m sorry Merlin, I have a class to teach this morning, we must arrange something, where are you living?”

“By the lake, dear Leon. Waiting.”

“I have Matilda today, I’ll ask her for the address and I’ll pop by when I can. It’s been so good to see you old friend. So, so good.”

“You too. I’ll leave you to it.” Merlin hobbled out of the room and all the way back to his car. Once inside, he broke down. His sobs could probably be heard outside of the car, but he didn’t care. Leon was here. Leon was on this earth. He wasn’t so alone anymore.

 

*

 

Then Matty’s eighteenth birthday came. She had never felt as sad as she did that day. Pain hummed around her veins, blood flowing rapidly through them as she vomited. She didn’t know what was happening, or why she felt like this. All she knew was that she wanted to die. She gathered herself and limped back to her bedroom, her joints hurt beyond all measure and she crawled back into bed. She wanted nothing more than to go to Old Lady Thornberry for her comfort: a rub of her back, the parting of her hair. Matty soon drifted back off to sleep.

All was silent in her head for a while, just blackness. Then the sound of birds broke through, loud and happy. She felt five years old again, smiling at the sound. She was standing in a forest, the sun shining through the trees creating a mosaic of yellows, browns and greens.

“Hello Matty.”

She turned around and saw her, she looked young, but she knew who it was. “Old Lady Thornberry,” she said softly. Then her expression hardened. “I told you not to do it.”

“I know, I’m sorry. But we’re not here to talk about that. You’re in pain, Matilda. You need to talk to your grandfather; he can help you.”

“How?”

“Because he’s been through what you’re feeling.”

Matty didn’t reply. She could already feel Thornberry slipping away. The forest became distorted and soon blackness found its way back.

 

*

 

Then suddenly the stories stopped, Matty did not want to know about Arthur, or Gwen, or Morgana anymore. She did not want bedtime stories about Robin Hood, or Camelot. She did not believe in magic.

“Come on Matty, you used to love my stories,” Merlin said as they climbed the stairs.

“Grandpa just leave me alone. I don’t want your stupid stories!” She slammed the door in his face.

“Where’s my little girl gone?” he said through the door.

“She grew up!”

Merlin knew only too well how that felt. He remembered saying it to Gaius. He hated seeing her like this, he just wanted her to talk to him. Merlin opened the door carefully and went over to her bed where she lay, her back to him.

“Please, Matty. Talk to your old man.” He stroked her hair, letting her think.

“Why am I angry all of the time?” She whispered. “It’s like I have a fire inside of me that won’t go away, no matter what I do.”

Merlin sighed, it was time to tell her. “Matty, I know how you feel, I felt it when I was you’re age, though perhaps not as much.”

Matty sat up. “You know why I’m like this?”

“I do. But it will sound preposterous.”

Matty gave him a tired look, if he mentioned magic or King Arthur she would really lose it. “Go on then,” she ushered.

“You have magic, Matty.” Merlin said without beating around the bush.

Matty stared at him for a while before bursting into laughter. “For gods sake! When will you stop with this nonsense grandpa! I’m eighteen years old for Christ's sake, I’m not eight anymore. You have to stop treating me like I am. I don’t believe your stories anymore. I don’t believe in magic!”.

“Don’t you remember the things I did when you were younger? The things you couldn’t explain!? Everything I did was for Arthur, every living moment was so that he could return. Up until your mother’s birth, and then yours. I do it all for you now, I live for you.”

Matty groaned. “Stop talking about Arthur! He’s just a man! A man who isn’t even real!”

“He’s not just a man, Matty. He was my best friend,” he said solemnly

“Then go and join him if you love him so much,” Matty sneered. She stood up and stormed out of the room, feeling immensely guilty about what she had just said.

Merlin heard the door slam. He put his head in his arms and sighed. If only he could.

Matty didn’t return until late that night. Merlin made her apple crumble and left it by her door, knocking to let her know it was there. When he went back the next morning, it had not been touched.

 

*

 

Matty stared at her ceiling, a tear rolled down her cheek. How could she tell her grandfather that she did not want to live? How could she possibly tell him, the man that had seen more death than death itself, that she wanted to die. Everything became so hard these days, she skipped college, she could hardly shower without breaking down, and she couldn’t eat. She felt so hollow and empty, and she didn’t know why. She wanted her mother, her father, she wanted to be known by them. Merlin was wonderful, but he was old and losing his mind, she couldn’t take one more stupid story about his imaginary friends. And she most certainly couldn’t take one more mention of magic.

She didn’t know how long she had felt it for, she thinks around the time she was five. There had always been a humming in her chest that she couldn’t shake, a spark of energy that couldn’t be released, it was drowning her. She couldn’t take it anymore. Every day she was waking up in pain, but she couldn’t pinpoint where is was coming from, it was exhausting.

She watched the sun rise brightly into her room, illuminating the world around her. It was time, she was ready. She made her way to her desk and wrote the letter.

 

Dear grandpa,

 

Please do not think this is your fault, it is not. I cannot remember the last time I was genuinely happy, perhaps my birthday at the aquarium, but even that memory eventually turned sour. I am tired of waking up and feeling like a part of me is missing. I know what I’m doing is wrong, and that you will suffer, but you don’t understand the pain I feel. I see the world in grey, grandpa, I have not seen colour for a very long time, and I have a feeling I never will if I stay. I love you more than life itself, and you cannot feel the weight upon my chest as I write this. I feel selfish, and horrible, and you can curse at me as much as you wish. I’ve tried to stay for you, so that you don’t lose anyone else, but I’m losing my mind. I hope you understand. Thank you for the stories you shared with me, and I’m sorry I don’t believe in magic anymore. I’m sorry for growing up. But soon I’ll be with mum, I’ll finally get to meet her, I’ll get to tell her how much I love and miss her, and how much you do too. And grandma, I’ll be able to meet her. I’ll say hello to Old Lady Thornberry for you too.

 

I love you more than you could ever know.

 

Be kind. Be brave.

 

Matty.

 

*

 

The lake was eerily quiet, as if it knew what she was about to do. She waded in and in and in until it was up to her neck, and then she let go. She sunk, down and down and down until she hit the bottom. She welcomed the darkness like a warm hug. The air shifted and she suddenly felt like she was not alone. It was a strange feeling, knowing you’re the only one in a place, but still feeling like you’re being watched, the hairs prickled on the back of her neck. She opened her eyes, expecting to see the darkness that was there before, but she didn’t. She jolted back at the sight in front of her and watched as a bubble escaped her mouth.

“Do not be afraid,” said a voice. The voice came from a man that was in front of her, he was engulfed in a blue light. She looked around but she was still under water. Her lungs were burning, and it took everything in her not to inhale. “You know who I am Matilda Hunithson.” Matty shook her head. “Yes, you do, though you do not believe anymore.”

The man came closer and Matty saw his piercing blue eyes and his blonde hair. Was this Arthur? He smiled. “See, you do know me. It is not your time to die yet. I have battled with the Sidhe, and they have granted my request, for a price, but do not worry about that yet. I only have two requests. Live for yourself and live for Merlin. Be kind. Be brave. I know you will figure out what to do.”

And he was gone.

And Matty inhaled.

Chapter 8: Camelot

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter bacause why not
From Eden - Hozier
With Me - Northwest Stories
Better Days - Old Sea Brigade
Flow Like Wine - Gabe Dixon
Fire and the Flood - Vance Joy

Death was warmer than Matty imagined. She was not cold. Then she opened her eyes and threw up.   

“Mæran êow?” said a young voice. Matty looked up and saw a skinny boy around her age, soaking wet.  

“What?”  

“Mæran êow? He repeated, but it made no difference, Matty could not understand a word.  

“I don’t know what you’re saying.” She stared at the boy and crinkled her face. “Why are you wet?” she croaked out.  

“Why were you drowning?” It was like a switch had been turned on, she now understood his perfect English. Matty didn’t reply. “What’s your name?” the boy asked.  

“Um, my name is- I- I don’t know.” She raised a hand to her head and racked her brain, but it wasn’t there. “I don’t know,” she said again, panicking.  

“Hey, it’s okay.” The boy was back at her side. “Let’s get you home. Where do you live?” Matty looked around, she didn’t know where she was, this was not the lake she entered. Wait, that’s right, I entered a lake . I was drowning and I saw… Arthur. No, that’s impossible though. The trees were different, the birds did not sound the same, the air was… fresh. She stood up quickly and swayed, the boy grabbed her and steadied her. “Careful.”  

“My name… It’s Matty,” she remembered.  

“Matty?” the boy echoed.  

“Short for Matilda. I don’t know where I am,” she said, but it came as a whisper.  

“Well,” the boy scratched his head, “we’re in Camelot.”  

“What?” Matty furrowed her brows.  

“Were in Camelot.”  

“But… that’s impossible.”  

“Sorry?” It was the boys turn to be confused.  

“Camelot isn’t real, it’s just a story made up.”  

“Then what’s that?” Matty followed the boy’s finger and in the distance was a large castle.  

“I- I don’t… I don’t understand.”  

“Are you OK?” he said with genuine worry.  

“I want to go home.”  

“Where is home?”  

“I don’t know…” She had to be dreaming, of course she was. She was going to wake up soon to the smell of her grandfather cooking apple crumble.   

She didn’t.  

“Listen, I really need to get there before nightfall. So either come with me or go try to find home.”  

They did not talk as the boy led the way to Camelot. They did not talk when they both entered the gates. They did not talk when they both got separated. Matty was trying hard to figure out what was happening that she did not notice that the boy was gone. She did not know his name.  

She did, however, hear the drums, and then a booming voice. “Let this serve as a lesson to all. This man, Thomas James Collins, is adjudged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic.” She made her way to it and saw a crowd gathered around a block of wood. “And pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crimes of sorcery, there is but one sentence I can pass.”  

Matty stepped back as she saw the head fall to the floor, she turned and ran, she heard the screech of Thomas’s mother and did not care to hear the rest. Because she had already heard it before. When she was twelve, Merlin had told her every single thing that Uther had just said. He told her how scared he was, how he was sure he had met his fate. He didn’t tell her how to survive.  

She wanted to go home.  

 

*  

 

She didn’t know where to go. She wanted to find that boy, but she didn’t know where she was. Perhaps Merlin was here too, of course he was, he was there at the execution. If Merlin was telling the truth then he should be at Gaius’ right now. Her new mission was to find Merlin, he had to be here somewhere, he could help her. Then her tummy rumbled and she realised how hungry nearly dying made you.  

Only when she was walking through the town did she stop to look at her clothes, they were not her clothes. They were old and raggedy. Brown trousers, brown boots, a white tunic with a dark green cape. She delved into her pockets to find a small brown leather pouch.   

“What the…” Inside were lots of little coins, bronze and silver. She tipped them out into her hand and stared at them. She had no idea if these were even real. But there was only one way to find out. It was getting dark and she needed food and shelter. She searched the streets and found a tavern called ‘The Rising Sun’ she remembered Merlin telling her about how he used to go there with the knights sometimes. It looked exactly like the one in Avalon. She went inside.  

It was noisy and boisterous and she had to weave her way through the many men already drinking.   

“Do you sell food?” she asked the bar tender. He nodded and pointed above him. She looked at the menu and for the life of her could not read a single thing that was written. It was English but at the same time the letters did not make sense. Then her eyes adjusted and she could read it perfectly. What is happening?  

“I’ll um, I’ll have the cheese and bread please.” The owner told her the amount and she stared down at the money in her hand. She had no idea.  

“It’s that one, two of them…” said a stranger, pointing to a bronze coin.  

“Oh, thank you.” She gave the coins to the barman, and he said her food would be ready shortly.  

“You’re not from here are you,” said the stranger. She looked up at him and took a step back. “Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you. I just saw you were struggling.”  

“No, um, thank you for that.”   

The man was dressed in chainmail and had a sword by his side. He was clearly a knight.   

“I’m Sir Leon.”  

“I know,” she whispered.  

“Oh, so you are from here?”  

“No. I’ve just… seen you before. You’re Arthur’s most trustworthy knight.” She did not tell him that the real reason she knew who he was, was because he taught her history at college.  

Leon chuckled, “Your words, not mine. I am as loyal to Arthur as I am to the people.”  

“Well, thank you.”  

He was called back to his table by the other knights and Matty was left alone. The bartender gave her her food and she scoffed it down. She ordered some mead too, she didn’t like it. Any moment now she would wake up, she would. She paid for a room and went to bed; it was uncomfortable and mouldy.   

 

*  

 

In the morning she woke up to the familiar feeling of sunlight filling her room. She was home. One eye opened, then the other and disappointment hit her. She was still in the inn. She sat up and looked around. There were a few other people sleeping in the other beds, she took the one by the window. It seemed to be around ten so she wondered down and ordered some more food before leaving to try and figure out why she was here. She needed to find the boy who helped her, as well as Merlin. The only problem was that she had no idea what Merlin looked like when he was young, he had no pictures of himself.  

She left the inn and made her way through the village, her eyes were locked to the floor, her mind in a faraway place, and she failed to notice the man walking towards her and slammed straight into him. She bowed slightly and mumbled a sorry and carried on walking, she was on a mission, and nothing would stand in her way.   

“Hey! You!” shouted the man. She carried on through the village, weaving in and out of villagers until she felt two hands grab her. They spun her around and she was face to face with the man. Her eyes widened. “Do you know who I am?” he said. Matty was too shocked to reply, her mind instantly clicked this face with the one that was there when she was drowning.  “I’ll take that as a no. I am Prince Arthur of Camelot, and you will show me some respect. I suspect you’re new here, so I’ll let you off today, but if you do that again, I will put you in the stocks. Do I make myself clear?” He folded his arms, a smirk tugging on his face. His friends laughed. “I said, do I make myself clear?”  

Matty nodded, she was so confused. Merlin told her that Arthur was a prat when they first met, but she didn’t realise he was this much of a prat. The other Arthur had spoken to her gently, helped her, it was him who put these clothes on her, and gave her money, so why was he such an idiot? She swallowed her pride and bowed.  

“I’m so sorry, Prince Arthur. It shan’t happen again.” When she looked up at him, she narrowed her eyes. She would have to find a way to knock him down a peg or two. But that could wait.  

“What’s your name,” he narrowed his eyes back.  

“Ima,” she replied casually.  

“Ima what?”  

“Snotball.”  

“I’ll be keeping my eye on you Ima Snotball-” A few villages around him began snickering. Soon Arthur’s face became red, and he realised what Matty had just done. He looked at her, seething. Matty found this a good time as any to run. She was pretty fast; the only problem was she didn’t know her way around. “Come back here!” she heard Arthur shout.  

No chance, she thought as she raced on through the village. She was a few paces ahead of Arthur, and he kept getting stuck behind moving villagers which gave her good time to escape. She bumped into a young girl carrying what looked like bread and watched as it fell to the floor. “I’m so sorry,” she said, looking behind her before picking it up. “Can you help me? I need somewhere to hide, quickly.”  

The girl looked confused but ushered Matty to follow her. They sunk into the crowd and emerged at a small house. The girl entered then let Matty in. Matty ran to the window and watched as Arthur ran past, looking fuming. She laughed.  

“What did you do?” asked the girl.  

“I may have played a joke on the prince. He asked for my name so I told him.”  

“What did you tell him?” she asked, her eyes gleaming. She was very pretty, about her age too.  

“I said my name was Ima. Snotball.”  

“Ima Snotball?” questioned the girl, then her face came to the realisation, and she laughed. “The prince will kill you once he finds you.  

  “Probably, but I shouldn’t be here for long. What’s your name?”  

“My proper name or my fake one,” she teased.  

  “Your proper one please.” Matty smiled. “Though if you have a fake one, I’m sure I’ll need another one to tell Arthur.”  

  The girl laughed and placed down the bread. “I’m Guinevere, though most people call me Gwen.”  

She widened her eyes, so this must be the Gwen, the one her mother was named after. “Well, hello Gwen. I’m Matilda, but most people call me Matty.”  

“Nice to meet you Matty. I would lay low for a while if I were you.”  

“Unfortunatly, I don’t have the time. I’m looking for someone. Do you know anyone called Merlin?”  

Gwen racked her brain, but she couldn’t remember ever meeting a Merlin. “No, sorry.”  

“Oh well. Could I stay here for an hour or so then, just to let Arthur have some time to forget me.”  

“Of course. I’m making lunch if you’d like to help.  

The two girls began cutting and slicing vegetables and placing them on the stove to make some soup. Fumes rushed around the cosy house, it was small, but Matty could tell it felt like a home. The soup was soon done and they began to eat when a man entered.  

“Mmm, smells delicious Gwen- oh, hello,” he saw Matty and smiled.  

“Hello,” Matty smiled back.  

“Dad this is Matilda. Matty this is my father, Tom.”  

“Nice to meet you, you’re the blacksmith, aren’t you?” She saw him working away earlier this morning.  

“I am, a fascinating craft, you get to know a sword like a person.”  

“Dad, please, what have I told you, not everyone wants to know about it.”  

“I do! I think it’s a really cool job.” Tom smiled and sat down next to Gwen, helping himself to soup and bread before talking about being a blacksmith for another hour. When he had finished, Matty had to excuse herself, finding Merlin wasn’t going to happen just sitting around. She thanked Gwen and told her she’d come to visit again.   

She made her way to the castle gates.  

Chapter 9: The True Fight

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not
The Open Road -Hollow Coves
Awake My Soul - Mumford and Sons
Mockingbird - Ruston Kelly
Wolves Without Teeth - Of Monsters and Men
Waking Up The Giants - Grizfolk

“Hey, come on, that’s enough.”   

Matty stopped in her tracks. No way. She spun around to see the boy. The boy that saved her from drowning, the boy she was looking for. But he wasn’t just any boy. It was Merlin.   

“Do I know you?” said a blonde boy strolling up to him. Arthur.   

“Uh, I’m Merlin,” he stuck his hand out, but the prince did not take it.  

“So I don’t know you.”  

Matty knew exactly what was going to happen. Merlin was about to punch the prince of Camelot. Should she stop him? Intervene? But she kind of wanted to watch. No one else was helping.   

“I’d never had a friend who could be such an arse,” Merlin said before walking away. Matty couldn’t believe he just said that, even the rest of the crowd gasped.   

“Or I one who could be so stupid.” Matty scoffed. “Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?” Her eyes widened with surprise.   

“Nope,” Merlin replied.  

“Would you like me to help you?” Matty couldn’t believe what she was hearing.   

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Merlin warned.  

“Why not?” laughed the prince. “What are you going to do to me?” Matty raised her eyebrows, if this really wasn’t a dream, then Merlin really did have magic. Her grandfather was telling the truth this whole time, and she just called his stories stupid. But this was his life.  

Then suddenly Merlin was raising his arm to hit Arthur. Matty watched with silent hope, she knew Arthur was about to be taught a lesson. Except the punch didn’t land. Arthur had Merlin’s arm in a lock behind his back, he kicked one of the boy’s legs and Merlin buckled, now kneeling. The prince whispered something in his ear and Merlin struggled.   

“I’ll have you thrown in jail for that,” Arthur said coolly.  

“Who do you think you are? The king?” Merlin spat.  

“No, I’m his son, Arthur” The look on Merlin’s face was priceless.   

Dear Gods, Professor Knight was telling the truth. Matty couldn’t help but laugh at her grandfather for lying to her. What did he think that accomplished? But she stopped laughing once she saw the guards drag him away, she needed to follow him.   

“You lied to me,” she said to him through the bars.  

“Oh, hello again,” he grumbled. “Sorry, how did I lie?”  

Matty smiled, “It doesn’t matter. Listen, I need your help.”  

“With what?”  

“I don’t really know.”  

“That’s… helpful.”  

“No matter what I say you’ll think I’m crazy.”  

“I already think you’re crazy.”  

“We can’t talk here, Gaius will come to get you out tomorrow, but you’ll be going into the stocks. After you’re released and washed, I’ll come to you. We can talk in Gaius’ chambers.”  

“Who are you?” Merlin said, looking at Matty with a seriously worried expression.  

“It doesn’t matter, not yet. Like I said, you won’t believe me.” And with that Matty turned to leave.  

She really didn’t know what was happening, it had to be a dream. It just had to be, there was no way this was real. She headed back to the inn and tried to stay out of trouble.   

 

*  

 

The next day Matty saw Merlin being pelted with all different kinds of fruits and vegetables, she walked up to him and patted his back.  

“This is what you get for lying,” she said before walking off. A few hours later and she headed to Gaius’s chambers. She knocked on the door and an old man answered. This must be Gaius , she thought. “Hello, is Merlin here.”  

“He is, come on in.” He moved aside to let Matty enter. “Are you a friend?”  

“Something like that,” Matty agreed. She couldn’t exactly say he was her grandfather.   

“Merlin, friend here for you!” Gaius called.   

Matty looked around, there were empty potion bottles cluttered on desks, some fallen, some open, others had a solution inside it that looked like bottled starlight. Books surrounded the walls of the room, a staircase led up to a balcony filled with more books. Matty lifted her hand to one of the spines, it was rough and cold. Her head turned to the dried flowers and herbs hanging from the ceiling, she could pinpoint the smell of lavender, she sniffed again, it smelt like a warm wood, mossy, slightly damp, but not unpleasant. Merlin came strolling down the steps, neck arched as to not hit the ceiling and stared at Matty.  

“How did you know Gaius was going to release me? And that I’d get put in the stocks?” he asked her.  

“I know a lot more than you think, Merlin Hunithson.”  

Merlin’s eyes widened. “How-“  

“I told you, I need your help.”  

Gaius was watching from afar, pretending to brew a potion, but listening intently to their conversation.  

“Who have you been talking to? I don’t know anyone here, no one but Gaius knows my name. And Gwen, and Arthur,” he added. He looked to Gaius.  

The old man shrugged. “I’ve only just met her.”  

“As I just said, I know more than you think.”  

“Like what?” Merlin asks, sceptical.  

“Like the potion Gaius is brewing is for Lady Helen and that he is going to ask you to take it to her.”  

“How could you possibly know that?” Gaius asked, stepping forward into the conversation.  

“And then once you do that, you will go exploring and you will bump into Arthur and get into a fight.”  

“Who exactly are you?” Gaius asked.  

“Matilda.”  

“What’s your surname?”  

Matty smiled. Not a good idea. “It doesn’t matter. Not yet.”  

Gaius grunted. “Well, she’s right Merlin. Could you take this to Lady Helen for me?”  

“Of course,” Merlin side stepped away from Matty, as if she has been struck by a plague and he walked off.   

“Be careful!” Matty shouted. Merlin shut the door leaving her and Gaius alone. The old man stared at her. “Trust me, you’ll want to see this.”  

 

*  

 

She stayed with Gaius until they heard the commotion. He looked out of the window and as predicted, Merlin was fighting with Arthur, mases in hand.   

“How did you possibly know this would happen?”  

“I’ll explain when you both trust me. For now, how about we go take a look.”  

They exited Gaius’ chambers and made their way to the fun. Merlin was on a pile of flour sacks, Arthur swinging his mace above him. Matty watched him intently and saw his eyes flash gold. She took a step back, gasping. Merlin really did have magic. Arthur’s mace suddenly got caught up in some iron hooks and Merlin got to his feet, swinging his own mace, backing Arthur into the corner when he fell. Merlin looked up and locked eyes with Matty, his face dropping, letting Arthur have enough time to stand up and smack him over the head with a broom. Matty put her hand to her mouth and laughed.   

“There’s something about you Merlin, I can’t quite put my finger on it.” Arthur said before walking off. He passed Matty, and she couldn’t quite believe he was real. This was the man who Merlin constantly beat himself up over? Who he would sacrifice his life for? Matty thought Merlin was very strange.  

His eyes darkened as he met her gaze. Uh oh. She turned away quickly but it was too late. Arthur grabbed her arm and dragged her away. She looked back for Merlin or Gaius’ help but they just watched her go. Arthur dragged her all the way to the dungeons.   

 

*  

 

Arthur sighed. “I suppose you think that was funny what you did.”  

“A little,” Matty admitted. A lot.  

Arthur gave her a mocking smile. “We’ll see how funny you find it after being in the stocks. Guards!”  

“I see the prince can’t take a joke,” Matty mumbled as she got dragged past him back to the surface. They placed her in the stocks and the villagers ran excitedly to get their mouldy food.  

“Now,” Arthur began. “You are going to tell me your name.”  

“Frieda.”  

“Frieda what? If you even think about giving me a fake name, I will make sure you never leave the stocks.”  

Matty had to think quickly. Realistically, she still had to be dreaming, it just wasn’t possible that she was really here, time travel is impossible. Why not have some fun. “Breast.”  

“Frieda Breast,” he repeated.  

“I’d rather not thanks.”  

She saw Arthur try to hide his smile, but he found it difficult. He had to admit it was quite clever. But he didn’t.  

“Fine, if this is how you want to play, then we’ll play. You tell me your name I’ll let you out.” He held his hand up to stop the villagers from flinging the mouldy food. “You have three seconds. One… Two…”  

“Alright, fine,” Matty was tired. “I was just trying to have some fun. My name is Matilda.”  

“Matilda what?”  

“Hunithson.”  

“Matilda Hunithson.” Matty could physically see Arthur trying to think of any hidden meaning but there was none. Once he realised that he grinned. “There, that wasn’t hard now, was it?”  

“Let me out then.”  

“Nah,” Arthur walked off. Matty tried to turn her head to him but she was trapped. Her back was killing her, the hunching really became a problem.   

“Hey!” she shouted after him, but she heard his laugh grow quieter and he was gone. What an utter bellend, she thought.   

Then the fruit pelting began.  

 

*  

 

Matty made her way to Gaius’ chambers, filthy and stinking. She was going to kill Arthur.  

“You are going to tell me the truth,” Gaius began.  

“Can I clean myself first please,” she grumbled. She moved over to the bason and dunked her head. Once she had gotten rid of all the cabbage in her hair she sat down.  

“Now, tell me the truth.”  

“On one condition.”  

He crossed his arms. “What is it?”  

“Can I stay here?” she begged. “I’m tired of staying at that inn, there’s no clean water and so many people sleep in the same room. I’ll cook and clean if you need me to, I know that’s what women are expected to do in these times. Or I can help with your potions, I’m sure I can find my way around easily.”  

“I have Merlin as my assistant,” Gaius said.  

“Yeah, but he’ll be Arthur’s servant soon so.”   

“What makes you say that? It’s clear the two boys dislike each other.”  

“Oh, it won’t be Arthur’s idea. Merlin will save him, and Uther will appoint him.”  

“How do you know this?”  

“This is where it gets tricky,” Matty admitted.  

“I’m an old man, I can take tricky.”  

“But this is a whole other level of tricky.”  

“Try me.”  

Matty sighed and rubbed her head. “Honestly Gaius I don’t even know where to begin.”  

“Where are you from?”  

“Glastonbury.”  

“Whose kingdom is that in?”  

“Beats me if I know. I don’t even know where I am now.”  

“Camelot.” Gaius got up and flicked through a book. Gaius pointed. “We’re here.” On today’s map, Gaius had just pointed to Somerset. Matty remembered doing some research on the Arthurian legends and finding that there were many possible places for Camelot to be. Some sources say Wales, others say Winchester, or Cornwall… or Somerset. Merlin never told her where it was, but if it was Somerset, then she would have been living so close to it. For Glastonbury was in Somerset.   

“Oh of course!” Matty slapped a hand to her forehead. “Glastonbury Tor! Also called Ynys yr Afalon. The Isle of Avalon. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid.”  

“Matilda?”  

“All along, he was telling the truth, Merlin was telling the truth. He’s been living in Glastonbury, in the little village of Avalon, because that is where Arthur is, that is where I was!” This was a little too much for her brain to comprehend right now and she had to take a step back.   

“So where do you live on this map?” Gaius asked.  

Matty pointed to the map. She pointed to where Glastonbury should be, but it was not there. In its place was Camelot. Camelot’s land also occupied Wiltshire, and part of Dorset, but the castle was based in Somerset. Matty lived in Camelot’s region all this time.  

“So you do live in Camelot?” Gaius furrowed his brows.  

“No. Where I’m from that’s not Camelot anymore.”  

“And where exactly are you from?” he said exasperated.  

Matty looked up at him, eyes watering slightly. “Either this is a very realistic dream, or I’m from the future. And if it’s the latter, then I’m afraid I don’t know how to go home.”  

Chapter 10: Banned Questions

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not
Place for us - Micky Ekko
American Teenager - Ethel Cain
Two Fingers - Jake Bugg
Ophelia - The Lumineers
X&Y - Coldplay

Silence for a while, then they heard a creak.  

“Are you kidding me?!” Merlin said as he bounded down the stairs. Both Gaius and Matty turned to look at him.  

“How do you explain everything I’ve predicted then?”  

“I don’t know. You’re obviously playing a prank.”  

Matty glared at him. “Why on earth would I do that?”  

“I don’t know!”  

Matty stood up and walked over to him. “Your name is Merlin Hunithson. You took your mother’s name because you didn’t know your father. You were born on the 15 th of March and you are eighteen years old. Your best friend was called Will and you used to catch frogs together at the pond in the woods. You were born with magic and you don’t know why but you are terrified for your life,” she paused, giving them a moment to digest everything.   

“I- I believe you,” Merlin said quietly.  

“You do!?”  That was easier than she anticipated.  

“I don’t know how, but yes, I believe you.”  

“Thank the Gods because I am so confused and I just want to go home.”  

“What year are you from?” Gaius asked.  

“Twenty-Twenty-Three.”  

Both of the boys’ eyes basically popped out of their heads at that point.  

“I’m still alive in your time?” Merlin asked.  

“No!” Gaius interjected, “Do not tell him anything, it could alter the course of history all together.”  

“But-“  

“No, Merlin, you do not need to know.”  

“But what if I can help?” Matty asked. With all she knew she could help save Arthur; she could tell Morgana not to turn evil.  

“Do not do anything, we’ll just pretend you’re Merlin sister, you do look alike, eerily alike actually,” he squinted to get a better look at them both, “Gosh.”  

“Are we related?” Merlin asked.  

“Merlin,” Gaius warned.  

“What? Surely that question won’t do any harm.”  

Gaius wavered but he nodded. “Oh, go on then. I have to say I’m intrigued myself.”  

“So, am I like your great great great great great great grandfather?”  

“Not exactly…”  

“Even more than that?”   

“No, you’re actually just my grandfather.” Matty said simply.  

“Oh. So, you mean I’m alive in your year?”  

Matty nodded. Merlin looked a little pale.  

“That’s enough. Matilda I trust you not to tell him anything else, no matter how much he asks you. I’m still not completely convinced myself; time travel is the barmiest thing I’ve ever heard of.”  

“Trust me Gaius, I’m just as confused as you.”  

“How did it happen? Was there a contraption of some sort?”  

“No, I just tried to drown myself in my world and then suddenly this Merlin was saving me and I was in your world. What? Why are you giving each other that look?”  

“You tried to drown yourself?” Merlin asked.  

Matty realised what she had said and bit her lip. “No,” she said quietly.  

Gaius sighed. “Matilda, you can share Merlin’s room for now, one of you will have to sleep on the floor till we get another bed, but hopefully we’ll figure out why you’re here and get you home before then. Though I’m still not believing everything you say till I see conclusive evidence.”  

“Wasn’t what I said about Merlin conclusive enough?”  

“Not for me.”  

“What can I do to make you believe then? Can I tell you that Lady Helen is not what she seems?”  

Gaius waved his hands in front of her. “No! Do not tell me anything about the future!”   

“But if you don’t believe me then why are you so worried.”  

Gaius was stumped at that question. “Fine. How much did ‘future’ Merlin tell you about me?”  

“A lot. Ask a question and I’ll try to answer.”  

“Let me sleep on it, I’m afraid I’m too tired to deal with this right now. I’ll make you dinner then off to bed with you.”   

Merlin and Matty looked to each other with a grin.  

“I’ll make desert tomorrow,” Matty announced. “I can go and get the ingredients whilst exploring.”  

“I don’t trust you to go anywhere, god knows what kind of stuff you’ll change.”  

“Relax, I know everything that I need to, so I know what not to change.” Gaius grunted but left her alone. She turned to Merlin. “Have you been to Morgana’s chambers yet? I can’t remember if you did that before or after your tussle with Arthur.”  

Merlin stared open mouthed at her. “No, I haven’t. You really do know everything about me,” a hint of horror was etched into his voice.  

“Of course, gramps, you told me.”  

“Don’t call me that.” Merlin protested.  

“Sorry, force of habit.” Matty gave him a wry smile.  

“Well unforce it.”  

They ate in silence that night.  

 

*  

 

The room was lit up only by the moon and neither Matty nor Merlin could fall asleep. Merlin gave up his bed, Matty did protest though, saying she as fine with the floor, but Merlin insisted and after a small argument Matty relented and slept on the bed. Their candle had gone out by now and there were only a few hours left until dawn.  

“Matilda?” Merlin whispered.  

“Yes?” she whispered back.  

“Tell me something else you know about me.”  

She staired at the ceiling, trying to think of things her grandfather told her about his younger self. “You saved Gaius’s life the other day.”  

“Did he tell you that?”  

“No. You did. You entered and Gaius was up on the second floor and he fell when you entered, you used your magic to move his bed.”   

“Hmm, I feel like he could have told you that. I’ll ask you a question. Who was my first kiss?”  

Matty racked her brain. “Oh, it was-” she caught herself just in time. “That’s a trick question, it hasn’t happened yet.”  

Merlin sat upright. “So you know who it is?”  

“Yes.”  

“Are they in Camelot?” Matty didn’t reply. “Come on Matilda, surely if I avoid asking the big questions you can give me hints.”  

“I don’t know. Gaius said I shouldn’t.” Merlin sulked and lay back down. Matty relented. “Yes, they are in Camelot.”  

“Does she become, you know, my girlfriend?”  

“Who said it was a girl.”   

Merlin shot up and stared at her. “What!?”  

“Shhh, you’ll wake Gaius up.” Matty scorned before giggling. “I’m joking, it was a girl and no she doesn’t become your girlfriend.”  

“Why am I still alive in your year?”  

“You know I can’t answer that, Merlin. Please do not make me answer questions like that. In fact,” she stood up and walked towards Merlin’s desk, taking a quill and parchment from their places. She sat cross legged on the floor next to Merlin and began to write in the moonlight.  

BANNED QUESTIONS.  

 

• Do not ask me about your life in my world. 

• Do not ask me when someone dies. 

• Do not ask me to save someone if I know they are going to die. 

• Do not ask me to tell you about important events that will happen. 

• No trick questions. 

 

“Okay, I get it,” he said glumly. Matty stood up and pinned it to the back of the door then slunk back to her bed. After a few minutes silence Merlin spoke again. “Can’t you tell me anything? Did I have a good life? What did I become?”  

She did not answer. More minutes past and Merlin gave up waiting for an answer, he rolled over and closed his eyes.  

“The start of the rest of your life begins tomorrow,” she said, then closed her eyes.  

 

*  

 

Matty heard Merlin get up and walk out of their room in the early hours of the morning, as much as she wanted to follow, she didn’t. She knew he was going to the dragon. She closed her eyes and drifted back off to sleep.   

When she next woke, Merlin was standing over her. “Good morning, I have a question.”  

“Look at the door,” Matty rolled over and closed her eyes again she was shattered.  

“No, it’s not any of those questions. It’s about you.” Matty sat up. “You say I’m your grandfather, so does that mean you have magic too?”  

“I- you know what, I don’t know anymore. You said I did, but I didn’t believe you.” She thought of all the pent-up energy she had, the anger, the humming in her chest that wouldn’t stop unless she released it. But she never found a way to release it, was it magic? “I don’t think so, I’ve never done magic before. But-“ she thought of the time she pushed Josie, but didn’t really push her.  

“Do you feel as if you might explode? As if there’s something building up inside you, ready to be released?”  

Matty’s eyes widened. “Yes.”  

Merlin smiled. “Then we can learn together.”  

Matty didn’t know how to feel from this revelation, if she did have magic then how come her grandfather never helped her before hand? He could have told her when she was young, shown her, instead he let it pool until she couldn’t take it anymore. Why did he let her suffer when he knew how it felt?  

Like drowning.  

“How was your visit with the dragon?” Matty said, getting out of bed. Merlin stared at her but said nothing, he wasn’t even shocked anymore. “Did you get any answers?”  

“No, I only got more questions.”  

“Yeah, you said it was quite cryptic. I wouldn’t trust it if I were you.”  

“Great, on one shoulder I have the devil and on the other an angel.”  

“Who’s who?”  

“I’m not sure yet.” Merlin threw on his jacket and headed out of the room.  

 

*  

 

She had only been there for a few days, yet she could no longer defecate. Her stomach hurt and she did not know how to solve it. Clearly the food wasn’t agreeing with her, and the water quality definitely did not help. She felt constantly sick and every time she got up, she felt like she was going to faint.    

Merlin was out delivering a potion to Morgana, and Matty had just gotten up from the bench when she fell to the floor. Gaius was at her side in seconds, he felt her forehead, she was burning up slightly. He couldn’t lift her himself so he’d have to wait for Merlin to come back. In the meantime, he made a quick tonic made up of ginger, turmeric and peppermint which she would be able to take when she woke up.   

Merlin came back and helped Gaius lift her onto his bed.  

“What’s wrong with her?” he asked.  

“I’m sure she’s just feeling the effects of traveling. If she really is from the future then I assume her food would be better and healthier, her water too, they would have cures for any diseases we have now I’m sure of it.”  

“So, she just fainted because she’s not getting her usual intake of food and water?”  

“It would seem so.” Matty groaned and came to, her entire body hurt. She sat up and Gaius gave her the tonic he made; she winced as she took it. “I think I’m going to have to keep a close eye on you. If you get any unusual feeling’s you must tell me immediately.” Gaius got up and walked back to his work bench.  

Matty glanced at Merlin who grinned. “I don’t think he means any magical feelings,” he whispered.  

“Oh right.” They sat in silence for a while until Matty realised she was meant to be getting ingredients for her dessert.   

She slowly made her way to the markets and began shopping. Gaius made Merlin go with her to keep an eye on her. The lower town was busy and crowded, it seemed that everyone and their mothers were out looking for ingredients. She heard a man trying to haggle the price of a fish but the shopkeeper wasn’t having it.   

She was glad Merlin was with her because she still had no idea of the coinage system yet. They paid for apples, butter, sugar, flour and a few other bits and bobs. They stopped outside a clothing market and Matty gazed at the beautifully made dresses. (When she was in year eight, she suddenly decided that she did like dresses and Merlin took her shopping for some). Though they were very pretty, she imagined that they must have been awfully uncomfortable. She was almost tempted to buy one, but she also didn’t want to run out of money, she had to start earning some before she bought anything like that. Merlin saw her staring at them and smiled.  

They made their way back to Gaius’s chambers, but Merlin had to run off somewhere, so she was left to cook alone. Gaius had shown her how to use the old-fashioned stove and oven, it was a lot more complicated and took her twice as long than it normally would have, but the final product looked just as nice.   

Merlin came back halfway through her cooking and rushed to his room, not even glancing up, he seemed to be carrying something. Both Gaius and Matty looked to each other with confusion. She soon discovered what he was up to.  

“Matilda, can you come here?” he called from his room.  

Matty stood up and walked towards it and opened the door. Hanging on the wardrobe door was the dress she was looking at earlier. It was a pretty light blue, it wasn’t anything special, not like what the royals would wear, it was more of a servant’s dress, but Matty loved it. “Grandpa…” she began before Merlin inhaled sharply. “Sorry, I- I don’t-” She was lost for words.

“I saw you looking at it, and you need to have a new dress for tonight,” Merlin said awkwardly, rubbing his neck.   

“But this must have cost all of your savings,” was all she could say.  

Merlin smiled, “My mother gave me some to spend on something nice.”  

“But- Why would you do this for me?”  

Merlin looked confused. “Well, you’re my family, aren’t you?”  

Matty’s eyes began to water, even since he was a boy her grandfather had been so kind. “Thank you gramp- Merlin. Thank you, Merlin.” She walked over to it and felt the material, it was slightly rough but sturdy, it would last her a long time. “Wait, why do I need a dress for tonight?”  

“Because you’re coming to the feast with us.”  

“Really!?” Matty widened her eyes.  

Merlin laughed, “Of course. Isn’t that right, Gaius.”  

“Merlin practically begged me to let you come.”  

Merlin rolled his eyes.  

Chapter 11: Destiny

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not
Catch My Breath - Alex Warren
The Flood - Oliver Hazard
Ghost In The Night - The Satellite Station
Not Dead Yet = Lord Huron
High and Dry - Radiohead

The feast was in full swing, Matty walked behind Merlin who walked behind Gaius and they took their positions at the side. Unfortunately, they were not here to enjoy themselves. Matty saw Merlin looking to the side and followed his gaze, Arthur was there joking with his friends. She felt him stiffen next to her, he really disliked Arthur, he wasn’t lying about that. Then the music changed, and everyone turned their attention to the door. A woman came striding in, her hair long, black and silky, wearing a gorgeous red dress.   

“Is that Morgana?” she whispered to Merlin.  

He nodded. “Gorgeous isn’t she.” He gawped at her as she passed, Gaius gave him a nudge.   

“Merlin, you’re here to work,” he scolded.   

So this was the famous Morgana, Merlin’s first love and Merlin’s downfall. She seemed harmless to Matty; she was currently talking to Arthur who looked to be enjoying the attention.   

Gaius left Merlin and Matty alone to speak to other guests, Matty wanted more than anything to dance, but she didn’t think she would be allowed. Then suddenly there was a presence next to Merlin. It was Gwen.  

“She looks great doesn’t she,” she said to him.  

“Yeah,” he agreed a little too eagerly.  

“Some people are just born to be queen.”   

“No?” he said almost disappointed.  

“I hope so. Not that I’d want to be her, who’d want to marry Arthur,” she raised her eyebrows.  

“Oh come on Gwen, I thought you liked those real rough, tough, save the world kind of men.”  

Matty wasn’t one hundred percent sure when she first met Gwen that she was who her mother was named after, but once she found out she was the maid to Morgana, she knew this was definitely the Gwen Merlin spoke about. The Gwen who would marry Arthur. She clearly didn’t think much of him either at this stage.   

“No, I like much more ordinary men, like you.”   

Matty raised her brows. Merlin scoffed, “Gwen, believe me, I’m not ordinary.”  

“I didn’t mean you, o bviously. Not you. But just, you know, I like much more ordinary men, like you.”  

Merlin stared at her. “Right. Thanks?” Matty coughed to break the awkwardness. They both looked at her. “Oh yeah, Gwen, this is Matilda. She’s my… sister.”  

“Oh Matty, you’re here too! I’m sorry, I didn’t see you behind Merlin.”  

“You two know each other?” Merlin asked.  

“Yeah, Gwen helped me when I was running away from Arthur.”  

“Oh yes, I heard about that,” he said with a hint of amusement.  

“What do you both think of Camelot?”  

“It’s wonderful, just like the stories.” Matty smiled.  They were interrupted by the king announcing Lady Helen. Gwen went to stand behind Morgana’s chair, Merlin and Matty took a few steps back to be against the wall.  Gaius had a seat at one of the tables. “Get ready to cover your ears,” Matty urged.  

“Why?”  

“Just trust me and watch.”  

So he did, he took his hands out from behind his back and held them at his side. Lady Helen began to sing. One after the other, the people of Camelot began to fall asleep. Merlin kept his eyes on Lady Helen, then felt a nudge from Matty who already had her hands to her ears, Merlin copied. The world went cold, lifeless, and soon enough they were the only ones left who were awake. Morgana, Arthur and Uther had all collapsed their heads onto the table and were peacefully in dream land. Only when Merlin noticed that Lady Helen had a knife and was aiming it directly at Arthur did he do something. He looked around and saw the chandelier above her, his eyes flashed gold and then it was no longer above her but on top.   

The world slowly began to wake up and everyone tried to get out of the cobwebs that engulfed them. Gaius looked to Merlin and Matty. Matty was telling the truth. Lady Helen was not who she seemed.   

The woman pretending to be Lady Helen looked up and with one last push, lobbed the dagger in Arthur’s direction.   

It was incredible to watch Merlin’s magic first hand. He slowed time and soon enough he was at Arthur’s side, grabbing him and pulling him to the floor. Matty watched with a proud look in her face. That’s her grandfather right there. The man who saved Arthur Pendragon.   

They both got up from the floor and Arthur looked in utter disbelief that the person to save him was Merlin. Uther on the other hand was running over and searching his son’s body for a wound, when he saw none, his eyes made their way to Merlin.   

“You saved my boy’s life. A debt must be repaid,” said the king.  

Merlin shrugged his shoulders. “Oh, well…”  

“Don’t be so modest. You shall be rewarded,” he insisted.  

“No, honestly, you don’t have to, your highness.” It was taking everything in Matty not to burst out laughing. In about ten seconds, Merlin’s life would completely change. In about ten seconds Merlin would be hating his life.  

“No, absolutely. This merits something quite special.”  

"Well…” Merlin didn’t know what was coming.  

Five.  

“You shall be rewarded (four) a position in the (three) royal household (two). You shall be (one) Prince Arthur’s manservant.” And there it was.   

The beginning of the end.  

 

*  

 

Matty heated the apple crumble up once they got back and handed it to them both. Gaius took the first bite and then stopped. He chewed and his eyebrows furrowed.  

“Is something wrong?” Matty asked, taking a bite herself and coming to the conclusion that nothing was wrong. It tasted exactly like her grandfathers.  

“This recipe. Where did you get it?”  

“From my grandfather.”  

“And where did he get it from?”  

Matty smiled. Her plan had worked. This was he she could get Gaius to believe. “You.”  

Merlin, mouth full of crumble, stopped eating and looked between them. They were both staring at each other. “Did I?”  

“Not yet, but you will,” Matty said, not removing her eyes from the old mans.  

“This is-“  

“Your mother’s recipe. I know.”  

“My god,” was all he could say. “You’re telling the truth.”  

“I am, and to be honest, I don’t think I want to go back.”  

“Why not? What about me?” Merlin asked. “Old me,” he clarified.  

“Merlin, you don’t realise how unhappy I am there. I always have this weight pressing down on my chest and it all gets too much to handle.”  

“But surely that’s because of your magic?”  

“Don’t tell me you have magic too,” Gaius interrupted.  

“Maybe, I haven’t actually used it yet, so I’m not one hundred percent sure.” She turned back to Merlin. “And no, it might not be because of that at all. I just feel helpless and useless in the future, I don’t want to be there.”  

“Does that mean you’re dead in the future now then?” Merlin asked, his face sombre.  

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything.”  

“You can’t stay here Matty, you do understand that don’t you. You can’t just mess around with time travel and not expect it to have severe repercussions,” said the wise old man.  

“I know,” she said quietly, looking down at her hands.  

 

*  

 

Night fell and Merlin and Matty were in their room. Matty was reading one of the books from the shelf, she felt empty without her phone (not that she used it much in the first place, but it was nice to know it was always there with her), when Gaius came in, holding a bigger book.   

“Merlin, it seems we have found a use for your magic.” He strolled over to him.  

“My destiny,” he mocked.  

“Indeed. Here.” Gaius placed a big, old book on the table. “This book was given to me when I was your age, but it feels as if it will be of more use to you than it was to me.”  

Merlin unlatched it and began flipping through it. “But- this is a book of magic.”  

“No shit sherlock,” Matty interjected. When she got a look of confusion from both boys, she waved her hands, said, “Oh, nothing. Future reference,” and carried on reading.   

“I will study every word!” Merlin said excitedly.  

“I can confirm that was a true statement,” Matty added.  

“Just keep it safe,” Gaius warned.   

A knock came from the door and Merlin hurried to hide the book. “Merlin, Prince Arthur wants you right away!” shouted a guard.   

Merlin groaned and flopped onto his bed. “Your destiny’s calling,” Gaius said, “you better find out what he wants.” Merlin didn’t move.  

Matty got off her bed (they managed to find a relatively new one and put it on the other side of the room) and marched her way to her grandfather before slapping his back and sitting on his bed. “Merlin, get your backside up and go make history.”  

“I don’t want to. I hate him, he’s so entitled. He’s just going to treat me like a piece of toffee stuck on his shoe.”  

“Will he?” There was a mischievous look in her eye.  

Merlin looked up. “Does he?” She shrugged. He sat up and held Matty’s shoulders. “Matilda, does he? Does he!?”  

“God, you’re so annoying.” She moved his hands away with hers and stood up. “He’s a prince, what do you expect him to do? Feed you? Just go.”  

Merlin stood up and sulked out of the door. Matty smiled.    

“Now my dear, what are we going to do with you?” Gaius placed his hands on his hips and glared down at her.    

“Just don’t get me a job as a maid,” she begged. “After everything grandfather told me I think I’d rather die than work for a noble.”    

Gaius chuckled, “OK, no maid work. What do you do in your world?”  

“I go to college.”  

“College?” Gaius questioned.  

“Like school, but you get to study what you want.”  

“And what are you studying?”  

“History. Oh, and guess who my teacher-” she stopped herself before she could continue. “Never mind.”  

“Hm, that’s tricky. Women aren’t really allowed to do things like that.”  

“Can’t I be your assistant?”  

“Do you know what I do?” Then he scoffed, “Silly question, of course you do.”  

“You’re the best physician in the land,” Matty complemented.  

“Hmm, flattery will get you nowhere. But OK. If you want to help me then you can.”  

And from then on, Matty would help Gaius with his potions and patients.  

Chapter 12: Apple Orchard

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not
When The End Comes - Andrew Belle
Curls In The Wind - Mark Ambor
Home - Hollow Coves
Roses - The Chainsmokers
Vapour Trail - Ride

Arthur and Matty had a strange relationship. Since the name incident, they hadn’t bumped into each other, but Matty had caught him being especially rude to Merlin one time. It was during the tournament with Valiant. Merlin had just told Arthur that Valiant was using magic and Arthur, surprisingly, believed him. They held the council and their only witness had died. Once they went back to Arthur’s chambers, Matty followed. Arthur was yelling at him.  

“Is there anything you’re good at? You humiliated me!” he bellowed. “You can’t even do your job right.”  

Matty heard enough and came bounding in. “Who are you talk to him like that.”  

“Why on earth are you here?!” Arthur raised his hands in frustration and turned away, he quickly turned back before Matty could reply and looked between them both. Recognition dawned on his face and he laughed. “Ah, of course, I should have guessed. It seems the Hunithson siblings don’t like to listen to those of actual importance.”  

“You may be a prince, but you are still human. Merlin is also a human, who has feelings. What gives you the right to say that to him?” she spat.  

“Matilda, enough,” Merlin warned. Arthur stood with his arms crossed.  

“No. I don’t care if he’s a prince, so your daddy is king, so what!? Being a prince is more than bossing people around. You’re supposed to be good to your people, and Merlin is a part of your kingdom, and he is your servant. Imagine how he must feel? All that pressure just to make sure you’re dressed because you can’t do it yourself. How old are you?” Anger had taken over her. Usually the smallest thing would set her off, but this time she had a justified reason.   

Arthur was a twat.  

The twat had a smug expression on his face and Matty didn’t like it. “You’re right,” he said. “Merlin is my servant so I can do with him as I will. But I no longer need his services. I believed him and he made me a fool.”  

“He is telling the truth! Valiant is using magic and you’re too up yourself to see. Don’t blame us if you’re killed when you’re fighting him. Come on Merlin, let’s go.” Matty grabbed Merlin’s hand and dragged him out of the room. He snatched his hand back once they were out.   

“You shouldn’t have done that. You’ll be his enemy forever now; he holds grudges well.”  

“I don’t care, Merlin.”  

But he was right, ever since then Arthur had glared at Matty even harder than before whenever they were in the same vicinity. She glared right back.  

 

*  

 

Before she knew it nearly a whole month had passed and she still had no idea how to get back home. In the meantime, Gwen had kissed Merlin (he was happy he no longer had to worry about who his first kiss was, he was happy it was Gwen), Arthur nearly died several times, Merlin saving his backside every time, and Merlin admitted to having magic right in front of the king and his council, but then Arthur saved his backside.   

A lot had happened and Matty was kind of exhausted. She was getting used to the food and water, but she hated having to bathe. She discovered that money found its way to her every month, somehow, and it’s always the same amount that she had first been given. At least ghost Arthur won’t let her go hungry, but it also meant that she could buy finer clothes and presents for her friends. She bought Gwen a gorgeous scarf which she wore often, she got Gaius a new pouch to carry his potions in. But she was finding it hard to buy anything for Merlin, what do you give someone who you owe everything to?  

Morgana was difficult for Matty. She wanted so much to like her, but all she could think about was what she did, what she’s going to become. She often tried to avoid her completely. But one day Morgana cornered her. It was just before Lancelot arrived in town, and Matty was searching the stalls, looking for a gift for Merlin when she bumped into someone near the silk stand.  

“I’m so sorry,” she said quickly. She looked up and saw it was Morgana, she bowed then took her exit, but Morgana stuck out her hand to stop her from passing.  

“You’re Merlin’s twin, aren’t you.”  

“Yes, my lady,” she said quietly.  

“Why do you always avoid me?” She was trying to catch Matty’s eyes. Eventually Matty surrendered and looked up and saw straight into Morgana’s grey ones. They were so kind, so trusting. Merlin had to be wrong. He had to be.   

“I don’t know what you mean,” Matty said.  

“Oh, come now, do not pretend. I always see you scuttle away before I have a chance to talk to you.”  

“I- I’m sorry, my lady.”  

“Call me Morgana. You are Merlin’s sister and Guinevere’s friend and any friend of them is a friend to me.”  

Matty could tell why Merlin would like her, she had a way about her which was… enchanting. She was so pretty, pretty like the moon, you could spend hours staring at her, catching every little detail.   

“Hello?” Morgana said, laughing slightly.  

Matty stopped staring. “Oh, sorry. Um, Morgana it is.”  

“How does it feel to have a bother who is the servant of the prince?”  

“Nothing special, Merlin hates Arthur anyway.” Matty covered her mouth once she realised what she just said.  

Surprisingly, Morgana laughed. “Yes, Arthur does have that effect on everyone. But he’s not all bad.”  

“No, I know,” she began before realising that she shouldn’t know. The kind Arthur hadn’t appeared yet. Only the other day he came barging in to Gaius’s chambers and asked where his ‘useless toad of a servant’ was. Matty said the tavern. Merlin wasn’t happy with her.  

After that, Morgana and Matty became friends. Matty kept an extra eye out for anything that could sway Morgana’s values, but nothing caught her eye. Except the fact that Uther was a massive cun-   

Sorry.   

I got carried away.   

 

*  

 

Once night Matty was really craving an apple from the orchard. It was almost past curfew but if she was quick she’d make it. She ran to the lower town and then into the orchard. People were not allowed to enter without permission from the owner, so she had to sneak in, but she made it and began her hunt for the perfect apple. The path was showered in golden sunlight as the last of it disappeared behind the horizon. Looking up at the red fruits her mouth began to water, she suddenly missed her grandfather deeply. His stories, his laugh, his old, wrinkled face. She found herself wanting more and more to be with him.   

Then she heard a noise. Someone was humming. She slowed her steps and began forwards towards it. She hid behind one of the trees and watched with surprise as Arthur waltzed in and out of them. He was humming a song that Matty didn’t know and was pretending to dance with someone. This was one of those times Matty wished she had her phone with her so she could take a video. But she’d engrave this into her memories and paint it. She saw Arthur had closed his eyes and waltzed right into a tree. A laugh escaped her and she covered her mouth before ducking behind the tree.  

Arthur stopped what he was doing and looked in her direction. He could see a piece of her tunic.   

“Is someone there?” he called. Matty heard him come closer and made a run for it. “Hey! Stop there!” Then began a chase in the apple orchard. Matty weaved in and out of the trees whilst Arthur followed. Eventually he caught her, but Matty ducked her head, staying hidden. Arthur tried to look at her, to see who it was but she was constantly moving away. Arthur grabbed her chin and yanked it upwards. Then he dropped his hand. “You.”  

“Oh, Arthur. Fancy seeing you here.”  

Arthur took a step back. “You should not be here, it’s a punishable offence you know.”  

“You’re here too,” she pointed out.  

Arthur looked at her as if she was stupid. “I’m the prince.”  

“So?”    

“So I can do what I want.”  

“Oh, of course, so sorry my lord.” She bowed deep and low. When she glanced back up to him she could see he looked awkward.  

He coughed. “Um, what did you see?”  

“Nothing, my lord. Why? Was there something worth seeing?”  

“No, not at all.”  

“Oh, OK. Though I have to say, sire, you are an excellent dancer.”  

Arthur stepped forward and Matty began to run again, a smile playing on her lips. She got caught again . “Come on,” Arthur said out of breath, dragging her across the orchard.  

“Where are we going?” she puffed.  

“You are trespassing, that’s a night in the cell.”  

“You do that, and I’ll let everyone know what I just saw.”  

Arthur didn’t stop, only laughed. “You think anyone will believe you?”  

“I can name two people. Merlin and Morgana definitely would. And you know what Morgana would do, you’d never hear the end of it.”  

He stopped. He let go of her and looked at her. “You’re an arsehole.”  

“Well, you know what they say,” she said with a shrug and a smirk, “takes one to know one.” Arthur couldn’t believe the total lack of respect for him. She was worse than Merlin. “Listen, I’ll make you a deal. You let me off and I won’t tell them.”  

“How can I be sure you’re telling the truth?”  

“Alright, If I ever do tell them, without good reason, then you can…” she racked her brain for a punishment, “put me in the stocks for a week. How does that sound?”  

Arthur thought about it for a moment. “I’ll make you clean my room instead,” he said.  

“Deal,” Matty stuck out her hand, Arthur hesitated before taking it. Matty held on tight and pulled him into a waltz stance before dragging him along, humming a tune. Arthur pushed her back and glared at her. “Thought you’d like a partner to practice with?”  

“Get lost before I change my mind.”  

Matty held up her hands. “Yes, sire.” She turned her back and glanced up to see a perfectly red apple. She pulled it off its branch and headed for the exit. It was juicy and sweet, just what she wanted.  

Chapter 13: The Lake

Notes:

a playlist for every chapter because why not
Fare Well - Hozier
Slow And Steady - Of Monsters and Men
This Is The Life - Amy Macdonald
Mess Is Mine - Vance Joy
Babel - Mumford & Sons

Soon Lancelot came to town and Matty was lost for words.  

“You never told me he was this attractive,” she whispered to Merlin as she watched an injured Lancelot sleep.  

“I told you about him?”  

“Oh yeah, you become best friends.”  

“Really?”  

“Matilda,” Gaius warned from behind them.  

“What? It’s not like I gave anything away,” she argued.  

Once Lancelot was better, the three of them decided to go to the tavern, they had to wait for Merlin to be done with Arthur’s chores before they could do that, but they soon found their way to The Rising Sun. Inside were the boisterous men and knights of Camelot, drinking and laughing, and shouting all over the place. Two ales in and Matty was joining them, she’d always been a lightweight, she didn’t drink much back home.  

They started to sing a song and Matty was in the centre, dancing on a table like she was a one-legged pirate. Merlin found this fascinating.  

“Aye, I heard the bards and pipers song,  

Where soldiers drink their mead so strong,  

Where laughter lies and worries die,  

Down in this roaring tavern of mine.”  

Matty was trying to copy one of the men who was playing two spoons. He was banging them both against his knee which made a funny tune. Matty failed horribly. She soon gave up and grabbed Lancelot, dragging him into the centre where they began to jump around as the song continued.  

“Fill my tankard from bottom to top,  

Fill it up until I drop,  

The stars are fine, the moon is high,  

Down in this roaring tavern of mine.”  

It was Merlin’s turn to be dragged into the middle and all three of them were holding hands and dancing in a circle. The knights were cheering, and the men were clapping and Matty had never felt happier.  

That was until Arthur came in.  

Both Lancelot and Merlin let go of Matty’s hand, expecting her to just wobble slightly, but instead she went flying and landed in someone’s arms. The tavern went quiet and Matty was pushed to the floor.  

“Prince Arthur,” said one of the knights.  

“What’s going on here?” he demanded, arms crossed.  

“We were just having some fun,” Matty slurred, fighting the dizziness as she stood back up.   

“Women shouldn’t be seen in the tavern, it’s un-lady like.” Matty blew a raspberry at him which made the people stifle a laugh. Arthur gave her a mocking grin. “Exactly my point.” His eyes then landed on Merlin. “I expect to see you first thing tomorrow.”  

“Yes, sire.”  

“Get out.”  

“Yes, sire.” Merlin hurried over to Matty and dragged her out.   

“Way to ruin the fun!” she shouted back at Arthur.  

“You have no shame,” Lancelot laughed. “You’re quite endearing, I could see Arthur trying not to smile, he was watching for a while before you flew into him.”  

“Um, it was you two who let me go!”  

They all laughed and headed back to Gaius’ chambers, trying to be silent as they walked in. Surprisingly, they were successful.  

“Today’s technically my birthday,” Matty mumbled more to herself than to Merlin. But Merlin heard and sat bold upright.  

“What?!”  

“Shhh,” Lancelot smacked him gently.  

“Sorry.” He looked towards the door but there was no movement from Gaius. “Why didn’t you tell me?”  

“Dunno, I’ve never been a fan of my birthday, I yearn for my childhood yet keep on aging. I age to understand the world and I want the ignorance of being a child again, not having to worry about anything. But I had a good day if that counts for anything.”  

“So how old are you now then? Nineteen right?”  

“I mean, I guess so. But in my world I literally just had my birthday and turned eighteen so it doesn’t really make sense for me to be nineteen this quickly. I’ll just pretend to be eighteen again until your next birthday. Because were twins, remember.”  

“I am utterly confused,” Lancelot said. Both Merlin and Matty laughed.  

 

*  

 

Merlin’s head ached the next morning, but he had his duty to do and left the other two sleeping. Gaius gave him a quick tonic to help with the headache before he headed to Arthur’s chambers.   

“Good morning, sire,” he said as he opened the curtains. He felt like a vampire and hissed at the morning sunshine.   

“That’s what happens when you spend all night in the tavern,” Arthur grumbled and rolled over, his back to the window.  

“Sire, you need to get up, you have a meeting today and then you have to do that training thing, to find new knights.”  

“Yes, I know.”  

“Then perhaps you should, maybe, if you wanted to, get up?”  

Arthur sat up and stared at Merlin. “Where’s breakfast?”  

“On the table,” he pointed to it. “Maybe use your eyes,” he muttered.  

“What was that?” Arthur was up and walking towards his breakfast.  

“I got rid of the flies,” he said louder. “There were flies in the kitchen.” He was just straight bullshitting now.  

Arthur grunted in response and began to stuff his gob. Merlin’s stomach rumbled.  

 

*  

 

“I hate him, it’s official. He looked at me every time my stomach made a noise and he still didn’t offer me any. I had to starve all day.”  

“Well, you should have had breakfast then,” Matty grumbled.  

“I didn’t have time because someone got me too drunk.”  

“Oh no, poor you,” she snapped.  

“Woah,” Merlin held up his hands. “Are you okay?”  

“Fine.”   

She was not fine. She did not anticipate what would happen when she was on her period. Her stomach felt like it was being cut in two and she was currently using one of Merlin’s neck scarfs, which he would most definitely not be getting back, as a pad. She got up and waddled towards the door.   

“Where are you going!?”   

“To speak to some girls for a change, I’ve had it with boys.” She slammed the door and walked as fast as she could to Morgana’s chambers. She knocked and the lady answered.  

“Matilda, what can I do for you?”  

“I need your help. How on earth do you survive it here. I feel like my stomach is being hammered, sewn back together then hammered again.”  

“I’m sorry?” Morgana had an amused, confused look on her face. That’s when Gwen came out from behind the screen.  

“Oh, I think Matilda may be bleeding,” she gave a laugh and pulled Matty inside.  

“How do you guys do it? And what on earth do you use?”  

“Have you only just started?” Gwen asked in shock.  

“No.”  

“Then what have you used before?”  

Ah. Maybe she shouldn’t have come here without thinking first. What was she going to tell them? “Uhh…”  

“Here,” Gwen went to Morgana’s vanity and opened one of the drawers. “These are what we use, it’s just pieces of cloth, easy to wash and fairly comfortable.”  

“But…” Matty grabbed it. She was going to die here. One way or another, this medieval town would kill her. “How often do I change it?”  

“Whenever you think it’s time to be changed. Usually I change it when it’s nearly all red.”  

“My god…”  

“Matilda, you’re awfully pale.” Morgana pointed out, holding onto Matty’s shoulder.   

“I- I think I’m going to faint.”  

And she did.   

She woke in Gaius’s chambers with a tonic next to her. She drank it as Gaius ordered and after an hour she felt incredible.  

“Holy Gods, what on earth is that? I need to take some back with me, I feel great!”  

“It’s just ginger, a bit of cinnamon, peppermint and some chamomile,” the physician said.   

Matty made a mental note.  

 

*  

 

Lancelot soon became a knight, and then he was banished, but then he came back and helped Merlin defeat the griffin.     

And what was Arthur doing during all of this? Sleeping on the side of the path.  

Lancelot left and Merlin was upset so Matty offered some comfort.  

“You’ll see him again,” she reassured.  

“When?”  

Matty racked her brain. “Hmm, you defeat Nimueh first, then there’s Cornelius Sigan, that was an entertaining story. So not for a while, a year I think.”  

“Who’s Cornelius Sigan?”  

“Don’t you worry about that gramps, the time will come.”  

Merlin raised his hand as if to hit her playfully and they both laughed.  

 

*  

 

Matty was sprinting though the castle trying to outrun Merlin.   

He was in the middle of preparing himself a bath when Matty came barging into the small bathroom, knocking him into the tub of water. Once he emerged, Matty saw the look of a killer in his eyes. So, she ran. And he chased after her, dripping wet.   

“When I catch you, Matilda!” he shouted as they raced the castle. She turned a corner and slammed into something, causing her to fall to the floor.   

“Watch where you’re going,” droned a man. Matty looked up to see Arthur. “Oh, you,” he grumbled.  

“Matilda!” she heard Merlin shout. Matty scrambled up and ran behind Arthur.  

“What are you doing?” the prince asked.  

“Shhhh,” Matty put a finger to her lips.  

Merlin soon caught up and stopped when he saw Arthur. He was horribly unfit and puffing like a steam train.   

“Oh, sire.”  

“Hello, Merlin,” Arthur said. “Why are you not polishing my armour?”  

“I was about to have a bath,” he wheezed.  

Arthur looked him up and down. “It looks like you already have.”  

Merlin grunted. “Have you seen Matilda? About this high,” he signalled to his neck, “looks like me.”  

“I know who Matilda is.”  

“Oh, have you seen her?”  

“She’s behind me.” Arthur stepped to the side and sure enough, Matilda was there.  

“You,” Merlin pointed, heading towards her.  

“Traitor,” Matty said to Arthur. He looked amused.  

“Is it in your blood to not respect your prince? Merlin seems to be the same.”  

“If the prince was worth respecting then maybe I would,” Matty said. Merlin immediately stopped trying to drag her away and stared at her then at Arthur who look surprisingly unaffected by what she just said.  

“Merlin, keep your sister in line. Do I need to remind her who’s in charge?”  

“Sorry, sire. She’s always been a bit of a lose canon,” Merlin glared at her. She rolled her eyes.  

Arthur walked away.  

“What is wrong with you?” Merlin whispered.  

“What? He needs to be knocked down a peg or two.”  

“He’s the prince.”  

“So?”  

Merlin sighed and grabbed her tunic collar before dragging her back to their chambers.  

Matty loved to sit in Gaius’s chambers and watch him work, the sound of the bubbling potions, the smell of the old books. She got up and opened the window, feeling the summer air hit her. She stood on a stool and looked out below. The townspeople were busy loading and hauling their carts to other parts of the village. Smoke from the bakery rolled up and into the atmosphere, Matty swore the smoke made a shape of a dragon. She closed her eyes and listened to the chatter and commotion below. She felt happy. At peace. She liked it here.   

 

*  

 

“Why don’t I try to teach you magic?” Merlin asked her one night.  

“OK.”  

“Now we still aren’t sure if you can do spells, so we’ll take it slow. First, I want you to try and summon Gaius’s quill.” He pointed to the bench where the quill lay. “Like this.” He closed his eyes then muttered a few words which Matty did not understand. “ðafian forniman me.” The quill came into Merlin’s hand and he placed it back on the table. “You try.”  

“What makes you think I understood anything you just said.”  

“Oh of course. ‘ðafian forniman me’ translates to ‘come to me’. Its pronounced ‘ffavian forniman mi’. Try.”  

“Fafian forniman me.” Nothing happened.  

“You’re saying it wrong. The ‘f’ needs to be more airy. Ffff,” he demonstrated. “And the f in the middle is more of a ‘v’ sound. ‘Ffavian.’ And the ‘r’ in ‘forniman’ needs to be rolled more.” He did another example and the quill came to him. Matty tried again, but nothing happened. “Strange, you said it right that time.”  

“Merlin, I think we should just accept that maybe I don’t have magic.”  

“Well you might be ready to give up, but I’m not.”  

 

*  

 

The next day, Edwin Muirden came to Camelot. Matty did not know it was him until it was announced that Morgana was ill, then she remembered what ger grandfather had told her.  

Matty knew she should let things play out how it should, but as Morgana was her friend, she wanted to see her well. So she did what Gaius warned her not to do. She told Merlin what happened.  

“Edwin Muirden put a beetle in her ear, it can only be brought out by magic, you must help her as well as Gaius.”  

“Gaius?”  

“He cannot solve this without using magic, he will be looked down on and Edwin will take his place, you can’t let that happen Merlin.”  

Everything worked out alright in the end. In fact, she wasn’t sure she changed anything at all. Everything happened the way her grandfather told it. This made her a bit too relaxed about talking of the future.   

Then Sophia came and Arthur was infatuated. She told Merlin not to trust them, that they were going to sacrifice Arthur, Merlin made it to him just in time to pull Arthur out from the lake. The same lake he saved Matty from. Maybe… Maybe if she just took a little dip she might find Arthur, and he might tell her how to go home. Merlin was too busy with Arthur to notice, so she swam in and sunk. It was nice, the familiar feeling. Down and down and down. Her eyes were closed and she felt the earth below her and the water around her. Then came the feeling. He was here. She opened her eyes.  

“Do not forget what I told you the first time,” he said. “Live for yourself and live for Merlin. Be kind. Be brave.”  

But what does that mean? she said in her head.  

“It means that Merlin is tired. I don’t know when I will be back. I have spoken to the Sidhe and they have told me there is only one way for Merlin to rest. When you find it, and when you find yourself, you can go to him.”  

How can I do that?  

“With the help of your friends.”  

You know, you’re a very bad person at this point in time.  

Arthur chuckled. “I know. I’m sorry. Merlin helps me become better. Merlin balances me.”  

What is Albion? Matty thought, changing the subject. I know it’s another name for England, but why is specifically Albion they talk about when you return? ‘Arthur will return in Albion’s greatest need’. Why not just say England?  

“Albion is the wind in the trees, the secrets they whisper. It is the flowing river and the ebbing tides. It is the sunlight pouring through your day and the moonlight illuminating your nights. Albion is all around you. It is where I am and where Merlin is. Albion is when the old religion and the new world combine. Something which I wasn’t able to do in time.”  

I see, so when you return, when the world is about to end, you will unite Albion. The world of magic and the world of humans?  

“Something like that, they like to be cryptic about it.”  

Does he know I’m missing?   

“...Yes”  

How long?  

“Five days here is one day in the future. You’ve been here for over a month now; you’ve been missing for over six days.”  

Chapter 14: Merlin and the Stars

Notes:

a short one :)
Dust Bowl Dance - Mumford & Sons
Freya = James Gosling
To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra
House Song - Searows
Anchor - Novo Amor

The future  

Merlin waited all day, but Matty didn’t come out of her room. The old man was growing worried, he wanted to give his granddaughter space, but he also wanted to know she was okay. He knocked on the door. “Matty, I’m coming in.” The door creaked as it opened, and Merlin frowned. She was nowhere to be found. He walked in further, her bed had been made and her room was spotless. He looked to the desk and saw a piece of paper, he unfolded it.   

His ears began to fuzz, sound was disappearing. His vision was blackening. His heartbeat grew faster. He tried to re-read the note, but he couldn’t see anymore. He fell to the floor, feeling weak. Matty had always made him strong, he felt it ever since she was born. He should have tried harder. Should have shown her his magic more, should have made her believe harder. If he had just shown her what he could do, perhaps she would have believed him when he told her she had magic. Once again he ruined everything, it was all his fault. He didn’t know how long he was on the floor, but his vision soon returned and he was able to stand up. He went to the police.  

He begged for them to find her, they said they would try, but it was likely she wouldn’t be alive.   

Merlin went back home staring at the tower from his window. Watching, it was always watching.  

Waiting.  

But he was good at waiting. It’s what he was born to do. And he would wait. He knew the lake had Matty, he just knew it. And he would do what it takes to get her back. He left then, hobbling out of his house towards the lake. It was nearly midnight, the fresh spring air was chilly, he wrapped his dressing gown around him tightly. Pinpricks of white were bursting through the dark sky, like spilt sugar; Merlin took a moment then to watch them, these twinkling balls of light. He’d seen them grow and die, could tell you a hundred different stories for a single constellation. They’d seen just as much death as he had, more even. They had become a sort of companion for Merlin throughout the years, both him and the stars watching the grains of sand counting down till another death. But it was never theirs, they had to keep on living.  

Merlin closed his eyes and felt the breeze wash over him, the coldness pinched at his skin, but he embraced it.  He took off his dressing gown and waded in, the rush of cold overwhelmed him but he didn’t falter for a second; he would get his granddaughter back, even if it killed him.  

He sunk beneath the surface and opened his eyes, it was eerily dark, a haunting blackness encircled him. He summoned a light, similar to the one he once summoned for Arthur all those years ago. It travelled through the dark and Merlin followed it, over algae and under fish. It stopped abruptly and Merlin was able to catch up to it, it then led him down, deeper and deeper until the floor was visible. Merlin could feel his lungs tightening but he didn’t care, he was close. Then he saw something on the muddy ground. It was white, pearl like and had a flash of blue. It was her bracelet. The one from Lady Thornberry on her sixteenth birthday. Merlin scooped it up, taking a pile of mud and stones with him, he held it in his hands, close to his chest as he felt the air around him shift. He let the water in, and all was black.  

Chapter 15: The Boy

Notes:

Legacy - Lost Stars
Angel With a Shotgun - The Cab
Need 2 - Pinegrove
Walk Through the Fire - Zayde Wolf
Like A Villain - Bad Omens

Camelot  

Matty’s eyes searched the murky water, they landed on Arthurs blue ones. Please, send me back. He can’t be alone.  

“You must find peace with living first, and you need to find Merlin an answer. Only you can do that.”  

So, as soon as I find a solution I can go home?  

“Yes.”  

Then send me up.  

She felt something grab her shoulder and she was soon being lifted up, breaking the surface.   

“What is wrong with you?” Merlin spluttered. Matty lay on her back looking at the blue sky above her. How was she meant to find a way for him to be at peace? “Hello? Earth to Matilda.” Merlin waved his hands in front of her face. She blinked and looked at him, then sat bolt right up.  

“I know how to go home. Well, not exactly, but I know the premise.”  

“Excellent. But right now we have other things to worry about like, oh I don’t know, an unconscious Arthur! How on earth are we going to get him back to Camelot?”  

“Stop fretting, use your magic to drag him along.”  

“What if he wakes up?”  

“He won’t. Come on.” She stood up and walked towards the prince. She had a sudden urge to kick him, but she held it back.  

They made it back to Camelot and Arthur woke up in his bed. Gaius, Merlin and Matty were surrounding him.  

“You managed to knock me out?” he asked Merlin.  

“Actually, it was Matilda.”  

“With a lump of wood,” she added proudly.  

“No one,” he pointed a finger at all three of them, “can know about this. Any of it.” The finger landed on Matty. “Is that understood?”  

“Yes,” Merlin said.  

Gaius nodded.  

They looked to Matty. “Fine,” she sighed.  

Arthur collapsed back onto his bed. How humiliating.  

 

*  

 

Days past and Matty was in a slump, she couldn’t figure out how to make her grandfather at peace. Was she meant to save Arthur? But how could she do that? She was walking in the courtyard when she saw a commotion. Guards were running about the place shouting; they were looking for someone.   

She looked around, carts were being investigated, the contents tossed out and the owners livid. Guards were stabbing piles of hay with their swords, checking every crack and crevice. Her eyes drifted again, and they struck gold. Mordred. This was it. This was how she could make Arthur live. But she couldn’t kill a child. How could she even think that? Mordred continued to watch her, his eyes bearing into her very soul.  

Help me. The voice came from inside her head and she froze, eyes fixed on the little boy. She furrowed her brows and began to step backwards before turning around and sprinting back inside the castle. At the same time, Merlin walked out, he watched her fly past him, doing a double to take to make sure it was Matty.  

“Matilda!?” he shouted after her. Then he saw the commotion.  

Emrys…  

 

*  

 

Matty paced their room in anticipation, she knew that Merlin had probably taken the boy to Morgana’s chamber by now. If she let him die, then Arthur would never be killed. Merlin would never lose his best friend. Albion would thrive. If she saved Arthur it would give Merlin more time with him, he was always saying how he regretted not telling Arthur about his magic sooner. And if Arthur lived then maybe Matty wouldn’t have been born, she wouldn’t have to live.   

She realised Arthur never explicitly told her to not change anything that happened, so that meant she could. Right?  

Merlin entered the room and Matty stared at him, arms crossed.  

“What?” he said, ignoring her glare.  

“You must not save the boy.”  

“Why not?” he demanded. “He’s just a boy, a boy who was once like me.”  

“He is not just a boy, Merlin. You know I can’t tell you anything, just please trust me. If you need a second opinion, go speak to the dragon!”  

Merlin did not reply.  

He went back to Mordred at lunch and Matty joined him. She had to see for herself. Morgana opened the door and let them inside.  

“Has he said anything?” asked Merlin.  

“Nothing, he won’t even tell me his name.”  

Merlin looked at Matty who would not meet his eye.  

“You’re taking a big risk,” Matty said, “seeing as you’re the king’s ward.”  

“I will not see an innocent child executed. What harm has he ever done anyone?”  

“But what if he will? In the future I mean.”  

“Then that is for the future.”  

And that was all Matty needed to hear. She would not condemn a child to death when he is innocent. She was not Uther.  

“Uther believes he has magic, and that makes him guilty,” Merlin said.  

“Uther is wrong,” the lady spat.  

Merlin stood up straighter. “You believe that?”  

“What if magic isn’t something you choose… What if it chooses you?”  

Matty looked to Merlin who was staring at Morgana with such admiration. She couldn’t help but smile. That’s all he’s ever wanted, to have people understand that magic was nothing to be feared, that it wasn’t evil. He just wants to show people who he really is, he’s tired of hiding.  

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Morgana asked.  

Merlin shook himself back to reality. “Nothing.” He looked away.  

Matty and Morgana looked to each other and grinned. “Why are you helping him?”  

Merlin looked as if he’d been caught, but then his face softened, and he smiled. “Just a spur of the moment decision.”  

Matty noticed that Morgana looked almost… disappointed.  

“What about you?” she said to Matty.  

“Oh, um. I trust Merlin.”  

She had to. For if she couldn’t trust merlin, then she couldn’t trust anyone. The air between them that night was heavy, neither of them wanted to speak. In that moment Matty wanted to tell Merlin everything, from who that boy was to what would come of him. She wanted to tell him that one day that little boy would cause Merlin unimaginable pain. But she didn’t, she couldn’t, it wouldn’t be fair. Merlin already felt as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders, he didn't need her adding to it, telling him that if he saves the boy, he’s aiding the death of Arthur. So she rolled over and closed her eyes, listening to her grandfather's slow and steady breaths as he slept.  

They still weren’t talking the next morning; they made their way to Morgana’s chambers and found that Mordred was burning up badly.  

“We need Gaius,” Merlin said.  

“You know he won’t come, he’s already told you to not help,” Matty reminded him. “I’ll get the ingredients, I know what to use.”  

“Only if you’re sure.”  

Then came a knock at the door. All three of them looked to each other.   

“Quick.” Matty stood up and ushered Morgana out from behind the curtain, leaving Merlin and Mordred there. She hid the boy’s boots with them and closed the curtain. She told Morgana to sit at the vanity and brush her hair. Then she answered the door.  

“Oh, it’s you,” she said, already knowing it would be Arthur.  

Arthur sighed. “Move.” He forced Matty out of the way and entered the room, looking around.  

“Arthur, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Morgana said, setting down her brush.  

“Not a social call. We’re looking for the druid boy. I’m afraid I’m going to have to search your chambers.”  

“You will do no such thing!” she protested.  

Arthur rubbed his forehead. “Don’t take it personally, I’m having to search the entire castle.”  

“Then maybe you should get on with it then, instead of wasting your time here,” Matty interrupted.  

“I didn’t ask for your opinion. Why are you even here?”  

“What, am I not allowed to have friends? Come to think of it, I’ve never seen you with anyone other than Merlin. Is it because he’s the only one that can put up with you?”  

“Your brother is my servant, of course he’s going to be with me. I don’t have time for this.” He moved past them and began searching.  

“I will not have you mess up my things!” Morgana said.  

“I’m not interested in your things; I’m only looking for evidence that the druid boy is in the castle.”  

“Maybe he’s hiding in your chambers, they’re always such a mess you’d never know.”  

He moved to the window. “It’s not my fault I have such a lazy idiot for a servant.” He glanced at Matty who looked ready to swing.  

“If you can’t find your own servant, what hope have you got of finding the boy? Why don’t I save you the trouble?”  

Arthur went to the table and picked up a piece of bread before putting it into his mouth. “Believe me, if I could find him I would.”  

“The druid boy is hiding behind the screen.” Matty said. Morgana looked to her and grinned. Arthur’s gaze drifted to the curtain.  

“I’m sure your father would love to know how you wasted your time but rifling through my things. Go on. Have a look,” Morgana added.  

Arthur scoffed. “So you can both have the satisfaction of making me look like a fool?”  

“You don’t need any help looking like a fool.” Matty laughed at Morganas taunts which made Arthur angrier. “What are you waiting for? Take a look.”  

“Why don’t you just go back to… brushing your hair, or whatever it is you do all day. And you,” he looked to Matty, “find your idiotic brother.” He stormed out of the room.  

“By Arthur,” they said in sync.   

“Good luck with the search,” Morgana ended. He slammed the door and they burst into laughter.  

“You two are terrifying when you’re together,” Merlin said as he emerged from the curtain.  

 

*  

 

That night, Matty heard Merlin sneak out; he was going to the dragon. She had decided that she should let things play out, the boy would be saved. She would not be responsible for the death of him, not as a child, not ever. Dawn was beginning to break by the time he came back, he walked over to her and woke her up.  

“What does the boy do? Why does Kilgharrah tell me not to protect him?”  

“You know I can’t tell you,” she said sleepily.  

“Please, Matilda,” he begged.  

Matty sat up in her bed and stared at him. He was sat on the edge of hers, a desperate look in his eyes. She sighed.  

“I was wrong. You save that boy and do not listen to that dragon. He just confuses things for you, you told me yourself you wished you didn’t pay attention to it. I can help you fix everything. I can mend it, I’m sure that’s why I’m here. I know what to do.”  

She had to listen to what her grandfather told her. How he wished he told Morgana about his magic, how he shouldn’t have treated Mordred like a killer when he didn’t do anything wrong. He wouldn’t do it. So she had to.  

 

*  

 

“You mean to say he really was behind the screen when I came to search your chambers?” Arthur said to them once he found out that Morgana was helping the boy.  

“Yes.”  

Arthur turned his back on them. Then he looked to Matty. “I should have you executed.” She rolled her eyes.  

“Oh please, you do that and I’ll tell everyone what I saw that night.” Then Matty furrowed her eyebrows. “I wonder what would happen to me if I died though,” she said it quietly to herself, but Arthur heard.  

“You do that, and you’ll have to tidy my room. And then I’ll execute you.” he said through gritted teeth.  

Merlin and Morgana looked to each other with confusion. Matty threw her arms up in surrender.   

Once they convinced Arthur to help them, they discussed how to get Mordred out of the castle and soon the plan came together. Arthur took him and wated for Merlin to unlock the gate of the secret exit. Merlin arrived on time.   

Soon the boy was out and safe, Matty felt like she could breathe again, and Merlin was in high spirits.  He ignored the dragon and saved the boy. The druids were peaceful people, Merlin couldn’t understand why the dragon warned him of the boy, or Matty for that matter. He tried to ask her again, but she refused to tell him anything other than, “you will understand in time.” Which annoyed him greatly. Why was everyone so cryptic? Matty kept talking about changing the future, but if she were to tell him exactly what to do then he would do it himself. Though, she told him to let the boy die, and he ignored her, he refused to kill an innocent boy. He thought back to what Matty said in Morgana’s chambers. “What if he will harm someone? In the future I mean.” So that was it. That’s what the boy was going to do, he was going to hurt someone. But surely he’d never see the boy again, he was back with the druids, back in good hands. Merlin shook his head and got up off his bed, there was no use thinking about it, not when the day was new and bright.  

Chapter 16: Beltane

Notes:

The Yawning Grave - Lord Huron
Evening Glory - Naragonia
Old Pine - Ben Howard
White Winter Hymnal -Fleet Foxes
Sunlight - Hozier
Fire in the Night - Michael Lane
Welcome Home = Radical Face

for more songs that make you feel like frolicking through a field, here is my playlist called 'where the wild things are' https://open.spotify.com/playlist/63LayshM0DTh6IlyVJcTuL?si=6oPwx7OXRpi3M10yFv8Iag

Merlin had continued to coach Matty in magic, but she hadn’t been able to do anything at all. She was beginning to feel like there was something completely wrong with her. At least when she had the idea in her head that the emotions she felt were due to unseen magic within her, she felt slightly relieved. But now that she realised she doesn’t have magic, she’s even more confused than before. Why did she have all those feelings inside of her back home? Why couldn’t she get rid of them? And why didn’t she feel them as much anymore?  

It was nearing summer, the days were getting longer, and the evenings grew warmer, which meant the celebration of Beltane was just around the corner. Matty was enjoying it in Camelot, she was enjoying waking up to the sound of birds and people. No cars, no chainsaws or lawn mowers, just nature. She wanted it to stay like this, she wanted to constantly be this happy.   

Beltane came fast and Merlin was preparing Arthur for the feast. Matty didn’t know much about Beltane, she knew her grandfather still celebrated it, but he never went into detail.   

“What is Beltane?” she asked Gaius.  

His eyes widened. “You do not celebrate Beltane?”  

“My grandfather does, but he’s never really told me about it. I think it makes him sad. It reminds him of this part of his life.”  

“Beltane is a celebration of the beginning of summer, though it’s usually held between the spring equinox and the summer solstice. The king and his closest subjects hold a feast in the great hall, whilst the people in the village dance around bonfires and hold rituals so that the gods can protect their cattle, people and crops.”  

“We have something similar, but it’s not a celebration of nature. Someone tried to blow up where the people in charge lived, and now we celebrate it with fires and big exploding things called fireworks. It’s good fun.”  

Gaius didn’t look impressed. “He tried to blow up the king?”  

“No, we have kings and queens still, but they aren’t really in charge anymore. Guy Fawkes, who was the man who tried to blow up the place, failed and died. People celebrate the day because he failed, but I think most of us wish he succeeded. They aren’t very good at ruling in my year.”  

“I see.” Though Matty could see him looking cautiously at her.  

“I’m not going to blow up the king if that’s what you’re thinking.”  

Gaius chuckled. “Well, you are invited to the feast.”  

“I am?” She couldn’t hide her excitement.  

“Well, you are my apprentice. But if you’d like to see what the people in the village do, then you are more than welcome to go there instead. Of course you’d have to go on your own, what with Merlin working, and Gwen.”  

“Can I go to the feast then leave to go to the village?”  

Gaius nodded.  

Matty was beyond excited.   

 

*  

 

She made her way to the village to do some shopping, she needed a new outfit. The lower town was incredibly busy, the busiest she’d ever seen it, and she had to weave her way in and out of the people. She made it to the clothing stall and glanced at the dresses. There were two left: one was a pretty forest green colour and had long white sleeves. The other was blue with yellow embroidery along the bottom hem. She loved both.  

“’’Ello, are you lookin’ for a dress for Beltane?” said the woman who owned the stall. Matty nodded. “These are our last two I’m ‘fraid, it’s a busy time of year for us.”  

“I’ll take the blue one,” said two voices together. Matty looked to her right to see a girl around her age. She had blonde hair, like spun gold and a presence as bright as the dawn. Her bright green eyes bore into Matty’s. She looked oddly familiar.  

“Looks like you’ll ‘ave to fight it out between yourselves,” laughed the woman.  

“I was here first,” claimed Matty.  

“I fink you’ll find I was,” spoke the girl. Her voice was soft but slightly unnerving. Matty looked to the woman.  

“She ‘rrived just ‘fore you did.”  

Matty huffed. “Fine, I’ll take the green one then.” Matty paid the woman and fiddled with the dress, smiling.  

“What be your name?” asked the girl who got the blue dress.  

“Matilda Hunithson. What’s yours?” she didn’t want to talk to the girl who took her dress.  

“I’m Liliwen. I don’t have a last name; we don’t have a trade. But my family are well known for foraging, so most people call us Berry, or Thorn, when speaking about us.   

Berry. Thorn. Thornberry. No wonder Matty recognised her. She had the same pointy nose and the same bright eyes as Old Lady Thornberry. But that must be impossible. There was no way her family stayed in the same place all those thousands of years.   

“’Ello?” she said. Matty snapped out of her head and stared at her.   

“Sorry. That’s a nice name.”  

“Sorry ‘bout the dress. It’s just blue is my favourite colour, and Beltane is my favourite celebration.”  

“It’s OK, green in my favourite colour anyway.”  

“What you doin’ to celebrate?” She smiled at Matty and Matty couldn’t help but smile back. She couldn’t believe that she’s possibly meeting Old Lady Thornberry’s ancestor.   

“I’m going to the feat in the great hall, but I want to sneak out and come to watch what the village does.”  

“You’re goin’ to the feast!? Since I was but a little girl I’ve dreamt of goin’ there and eatin’ their food. You must be in close council to the king.” As she said it her eyes widened. “I didn’t mean to upset you, if you want the dress you can ‘ave it.”  

Matty laughed. “I’m only going because my brother is the prince’s servant. And I work with the court physician.”  

“The prince’s servant, wow!”  

Matty scrunched her nose, then remembered she was going to try and respect Arthur better.  

“If you like I can bring you food from the feast when I come down here later.”  

“I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that!”  

“It’s no trouble. Perhaps you could show me what it is you do in the village?”  

Liliwen smiled. “I’d love to!”  

 

*  

 

That evening Matty headed to the feast with Merlin and Gaius. Merlin had to stand behind Arthur and Gwen had to stand behind Morgana to fill up their glasses whenever they needed.   

The food was delicious and Matty sat next to Gaius who was deep in conversation with Geoffery, the librarian.   

“I hope Gaius doesn’t work you too hard, a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be getting her hands dirty, at least not in that way,” said a voice to her right. She turned to look at the man sat next to her. He wasn’t very appealing to look at, perhaps in his mid thirties, he was grinning a toothy smile. Matty chuckled nervously.   

“He works me just fine. I like to keep busy.”  

“Well, if you ever get bored, I’m sure I have some work for you to do,” he winked and Matty felt herself physically recoil.   

“Very kind of you, but I enjoy working for Gaius.” She turned back around to face Gaius who was still conversing with Geoffrey.  

“Looks like Gaius is otherwise preoccupied. I won’t bite,” said the man. Matty closed her eyes and breathed before she turned back around with a smile.  

“What is it you do?” she asked.  

 “Why don’t I show you, we could make our escape and go back to my room,” he suggested.  

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, my brother likes to keep a close eye on me,” she nodded towards Merlin, who thankfully had his eyes on her. The man swirled around to look at the boy who was glaring at him. Merlin knew all about Sir Maleagant, a knight of Uther’s army. He was known for being brash and arrogant, and had a claim to fame with the servants. He did not want him talking to Matty.  

Sir Maleagant turned back to Matty and grinned, a vile unyielding grin which sent shivers down her spine. She grabbed her wine and took a sip when she felt a hand on her leg and trail up and up. She jumped and spilt the wine on Sir Maleagant.  

“Oh my,” she said trying to sound sincere. “I’m so very sorry.” The man was standing up and everyone’s eyes had turned to them. Matty glanced to Morgana who was giving her a look of pity. “Here let me help,” Matty touched the man’s collar and winked. He smiled and looked to the others.  

“Nothing to worry about!” he stated. “Just a little eager!” Everyone laughed and went back to what they were doing.   

“Matilda.” Matty turned around to see Gaius staring at her. “Is everything OK?”  

“Help,” she mouthed.  

“She’s just had a few too many,” said Sir Maleagant, placing a hand on her shoulder where she tensed. “I can take her back to her chambers.”   

Matty’s eyes widened in horror as she looked at Gaius.  

“That won’t be necessary Sir Maleagant, I was thinking of retiring early, old age you see, so I can escort her,” Gaius said. Matty was incredibly thankful that he understood her pleas.   

“Nonsense,” scoffed the knight. “Stay here and enjoy the feast, I’m sure Matilda won’t mind.” He squeezed her shoulder harder. And then, Matty’s angel came to swoop in.    

“Matilda, Lady Morgana requests your presence,” said Gwen, looking sheepish.     

Matty sighed, “Well, once must answer her Lady immediately. Goodbye Sir Maleagant.”  

She looped her arm around Gwen’s and they walked away towards Morgana. Matty caught Merlin’s eyes and reassured him she was OK.  

“Next feast, I’ll make sure you’re as far way from him as possible. He’s a vile man,” Morgana said once Matty got to her.     

“Thank you so much, I don’t know how many more wine spills I could have pulled off,” Matty joked.  “I thank you again, but I promised my friend in the lower town that I’d visit her for Beltane. She’s going to show me what they do to celebrate.     

Morgana’s eyes widened. “How exciting, I’ve always wanted to see what they do, but Uther never lets me go there. Could we come with you?”  

“Uther won’t have my head if he finds out I’ve smuggled you out will he?”  

Morgana chuckled and shook her head. “I’ll tell him I’m retiring early; he won’t notice I’m gone.”  

“Very well. I also promised to bring her some food, so I’ll go get some whilst you excuse yourself.”

Matty walked over to the buffet table and began wrapping food in a napkin. She dropped a piece of meat on the floor and bent to pick it up, dusting it off then putting it back in the napkin. She was sure the five second rule applied here more than anywhere else.  

“As elegant as ever,” said a droning voice.  

Matty looked up to see Arthur there. “Sire,” she said.  

Arthur nearly took a step back at the formality. “Are you feeling all right?” he asked her.  

“Fine, sire. Are you enjoying the feast?”  

Arthur shrugged. “It’s the same as always. Sneaking off somewhere are you?”  

“No.” Arthur glared at her. “Maybe. I have a friend in the lower town, I’m going to visit her.”  

“Excellent, myself and Merlin shall join.”  

“What?” She looked at him confused.  

“Merlin!” he shouted and the boy came running over. “Fetch my cape and meet me at the gates of the castle.   

“Yes, sire.” Merlin scuttled off and Arthur beamed at her.  

“Morgana and Gwen are coming too,” Matty mentioned.  

Arthur shrugged and walked off.  

 

*  

 

Twenty minutes later and the five of them were hurrying down to the lower town. They could already hear the shouts and cheers from the people. Arthur wore his cape, as did Morgana, they didn’t want Uther to hear about them visiting the lower town. The sky was bright with stars and Matty was mesmerised. They were so clear here; it was insane to think that these were the same stars and moon that she saw one thousand five hundred years in the future. The same face in the moon, the same constellations, it made her feel so small yet so comforted.  

They saw the fire in the open field just behind the village and made their way towards it. People were dancing and singing and having a jolly time. As they passed trees to get to the field, they noticed ribbons wrapped around them. Red, green, yellow; they decorated the branches with colour.   

The fire was enormous, and people were holding hands whilst dancing around it. Matty could smell the fumes and instantly thought of home. Merlin would always light a small fire in their garden. Matty wondered how he was doing, he was alone whist she was celebrating. She felt guilty all of a sudden. What was it Arthur had said? Five days here was one day there. Matty counted how many days she had been here for. It had been about two months, so roughly sixty days. She stopped in her tracks as she did the maths. She had been missing for eleven days.   

Eleven days felt like nothing to her, but to Merlin it must feel like eternity.   

“Matty? Are you OK?” came Gwen’s soft voice. Matty looked to her and nodded. But she wasn’t. Not really.  

They saw a stall on the side of the field and Matty went over to it. They were selling ribbons like the ones in the trees.  

“Tie one of these to a branch of a tree and make a wish.”  

Matty bought two green ones, two yellow and one red. She handed the red to Arthur, the yellows to the girls and one green to Merlin and told them what to do. She went over to a tree and thought for a minute. There were so many things she wanted to wish for. For her to return home, for her to be happy, for her to understand who she is. But ultimately, she wished for Arthur to return to her grandfather, to stop all this waiting and hardship. She began to hum a tune Merlin used to sing to her as she wrapped the ribbon around the branch, thinking of her wish.   

I wish that Arthur can return to Merlin. I wish that Arthur can return to Merlin. I wish that Arthur can return to Merlin. I wish that Arthur can return to Merlin.  

It was done. She had tied the ribbon and all that was left was for the universe to answer her wish.   

 

*  

 

She walked around the field where the fire was burning to look for Liliwen, around and around she went but still no sign of her. She did bump into a young boy her age; his skin was dark and his eyes were an ocean of onyx, the fire causing them to twinkle like starlight. She ushered her apologies and helped him pick up his ribbons. She asked him on the off chance if he knew Liliwen, he nodded and smiled, telling her that he was meeting her to give her a ribbon and to follow him. The boy led her around the fire and into the woods, Liliwen was dancing under an alder tree, looking as carefree as ever. She introduced the boy as Lorcan, the bakers apprentice. Matty shook his hand then ushered them to follow her back to her friends.  

Once they arrived in the open field, Matty found Merlin and gave Liliwen the food which was stashed in his jacket pocket. Once she had eaten it, she grabbed Matty and pulled her into the ring of people around the fire. Matty laughed as she galloped around and around, picking up on the songs that were being sang and singing along with them. Vibrations from the drums rang through her and chants from every direction were ingulfing her brain. Matty had never felt more alive. The air was so light, despite the smoke from the bonfire, and everything in this moment was perfect.  

After Beltane, she felt like a new person. She was happy, genuinely happy.  

Chapter 17: Excalibur

Notes:

Pyro - Kings of Leon
Starlight - Muse
Sweet Disposition- The Temper Trap
We Are The Prople - Empire Of The Sun
Outro -M83

The day before Arthur’s birthday was bright and breezy. A warm current floated around the air and the earth was blooming and shining; it was almost a new month. Matty woke early to help Merlin with his chores, as it was Arthur’s birthday, there was a lot to prepare for.   

They were both up before dawn seeped through their windows and got to work. First they had to wash his clothes, his ceremonial cape was stuffed deep into his wardrobe along with his tunic and Merlin had to fight through the nasty smelling old clothing that Arthur didn’t wear often to reach it. Merlin then collected his chainmail and headed to the laundry room.   

“Mornin’ Merlin,” said a young girl, her skin was a deep chestnut and she wore a cream servants dress.  

“Good morning, Edith,” he replied with a smile.  

“Busy day for you it seems.” She was one of five other lady’s in the room, all washing clothes and they all stopped to look at him.  

“I’ve got my sister here to help me, this is Matilda.” He motioned to Matty and she smiled.  

“Dragged you along has he?” another girl asked. Her hair was bright red and her pale face was covered in freckles.   

Matty smiled. “I offered to help; he’d never get it all done if he was on his own.”  

“You have a very good sister, Merlin,” Edith stated. “I wish my sister would help me more. What is it you do?”  

“I help Gaius, the Court Physician.” Her comment got a sea of ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’   

“Your brother works for the Prince of Camelot, and you work for the Court Physician, you two have someone lookin’ out for you, imagine gettin’ so lucky.”  

Matty crumpled her nose. “I wouldn’t say working for the prince is lucky. He’s hardwork.”  

“But workin’ for the prince is only second to workin’ for the king. Most of us would kill to work with the Lady Morgana.”  

“At least Morgana treats her servants well,” Matty said. “She’s kind and considerate, unlike Arthur.” The girls raised their hands to their mouths and inhaled. “What?” Matty turned around, thinking Arthur was behind her, but he wasn’t.  

“You’re so brave, to talk about the prince like that,” said the red-haired girl.  

“Well, someone has to.” Matty shrugged. The girls giggled.  

“Anyway,” Merlin interrupted, glaring at Matty. “We must get on; these clothes won’t wash themselves.”    

“Of course, bye Merlin, bye Matilda.” They all waved goodbye as they both entered the backroom.     

Merlin added a nice smelling scent to the water and put the cape into it. “Can you do this with the tunic too please?” he asked Matty. She nodded and followed his instructions. Soon they were both elbows deep in a bucket of water, cleaning Arthur’s clothes.   

“What’s your world like?” Merlin suddenly asked.    

Matty thought for a while. There were so many things that Matty could talk about, but they wouldn’t make sense to Merlin.     

“Noisy,” she said.    

“Noisier than the lower town!?”  Merlin asked, unconvinced.     

Matty laughed. “So much noisier than the lower town.”  

“How so?”  

Water sploshed from the bucket onto the floor and Matty stepped back, grimacing at her wet feet. “Well, all I hear at night here are the birds tweeting and the frogs croaking. Back home we have things called cars and aeroplanes. Cars are sort of like horses except more useful and louder. Aeroplanes are like boats, but in the sky.”  

“In the sky!?”  

“They carry people who want to go to another place. They’re very noisy. It’s been nice to hear the silence. Not only was the world nosy but so was my head. I haven’t had a bad thought since I arrived here, it’s been peaceful.   

“I’m sorry,” Merlin frowned. “Don’t I help you?”  

“You do. But I didn’t listen to you. I wish I did,” she said quietly.   

“Can I tell you now that I forgive you?” he asked. “For not listening to me. I forgive you.”  

Matty cracked and she let out a sob. “I’m so sorry I left you alone,” she wept. “I’m so sorry.”  

“Hey, it’s OK.” Merlin was standing beside her, hands dripping wet and trying to comfort her. “You had your reasons, and I don’t hold you accountable for leaving me. It was something you had to do. And we’re working on a way to send you back, so don’t worry, Matty. I’ll be fine.”  

Matty nodded and wiped her face with her upper arms. “Is it weird to say I miss you even though you’re right here?”  

“Not at all, you’re allowed to morn for who I was in your world. Even though we’re the same person, we must be very different.”  

“You’re both kind, and loving, and I love you both so much.”    

“We love you too.”  

 

*  

 

The day carried on and soon the chores were done. Matty and Merlin fell onto their beds with a sigh and they drifted off into a peaceful slumber.   

The birds woke Matty with the sun and she stretched. Today was the day Arthur turned twenty one, and also the day he would be crowned ‘Crown Prince’. Matty was looking forward to it, she got to attend as she was Gaius’s helper.   

The day seemed to drag. The ceremony would happen at nightfall and Matty was growing restless, wanting to see what all the fuss was about, so to take her mind off it, she helped Gaius brew some more potions.    Soon Merlin came to their chambers dressed in a blue tunic and a red vest with the pendragon crest on it. He gave a small spin.  

“Looking very handsome,” Matty said ruffling his hair.   

Merlin batter her away. “It’s a big day, I have to look presentable.” He paused and stared at Matty. “Nothing happens right? No witches trying to kill Arthur? No enchanted shields to look out for? No poisons, poultices or… anything?” Matty shifted uncomfortably. Merlin’s eyes widened in horror. “Really!? What on earth is it this time?”  

Matty looked to Gaius who shook his head. “Sorry gramps, I guess it’ll have to be a surprise. I can tell you it all ends well though.”  

Merlin huffed. “I guess that’s something.”  

 

*  

 

“Do you solemnly swear to govern the people of this kingdom and its dominions according to the statutes, customs and laws laid down by your forebears?” said Uther to his son. Arthur was kneeling in front of the king, his sandy blonde hair straight and neat, his red cape freshly washed and smelling of all things rosy.    

“I do, Sire.” Arthur replied.    

“D0 you promise to exercise mercy and justice in your deeds and judgements?”    

“I do, Sire.”  

“And do you swear allegiance to Camelot, now and for as long as you shall live?”  

“I, Arthur Pendragon, do pledge life and limb to your service and to the protection of the kingdom and its people.”  

Matty couldn’t help but smile, because he does. If all the stories her grandfather told her are true, then Arthur goes above and beyond for his kingdom. Perhaps she should stop disrespecting him so much.   

Uther grabbed the crown from its cushion. “Now being of age and heir apparent, from henceforth,” he placed it on Arthur’s head, “you shall be Crown Prince of Camelot.”  

The court erupted into applause and Arthur stood to face them. He looked proud, as did his father.   

“So how does it feel to be servant to the Crown Prince of Camelot?” Matty heard Gwen whisper to Merlin.  

“Washing his royal socks will be even more of a privilege,” he joked.  

“You’re proud of him, really. Even though you complain about him constantly.”  

“I am not,” he huffed, but the smile breaking through really let him down.  

“You are. I can see it in your face,” Gwen laughed.  

Merlin let the smile come. “Those socks are very clean! Of course I’m proud of him.”   

All three of them began to laugh when all of a sudden a deafening sound echoed throughout the vast hall. Matty covered her face and cowered with the rest of them. When she looked up, she saw a black knight on a black horse, with shattered glass all across the floor.  

Arthur was first to draw his sword, and his knights followed.  

“What in the devils name?” Uther uttered.  

Not quite, Matty thought, but close enough.   

The horse trotted towards Arthur, the sound of its hooves bouncing off the walls, taunting them. The Black Knight threw down a gauntlet. Matty watched Arthur’s eyes narrow and he sheathed his sword, ready to pick up the gauntlet when another young knight ran in front of him and picked it up. The Black Knight did not take its black eyes from Arthur.  

“I, Sir Owain, accept your challenge.”  

Finally, the Black Knight snapped his head over to the young boy.  

“Single combat. Noon tomorrow. Till the death.” The horse turned and they left the way they came.  

Merlin, Matty and Gaius trailed back to their chambers and sat in silence. After a while Gaius stood up and went to his work desk.  

Matty nudged Merlin and ushered upstairs. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” Merlin stood first and Matty followed, but he stopped at the first stair and turned around.    

“Have you ever seen the Black Knight before?” he asked Gaius.  

Gaius didn’t look up from his stirring. “I don’t believe so.”  

Merlin leant against the wall. “You don’t recognize his crest?”  

“Crest?” he looked at the boy this time.  

“Which house is it?”  

“I’m not sure. I didn’t see it that clearly.”  

“But he’s not someone you’d forget in a hurry, is he?”  

“No.” Gaius walked away to fetch a vial of something.     

“So you don’t think he’s from around here?” Matty smiled at Merlin’s constant questions, she could see the physician becoming very irritated.  

“That would be likely,” Gaius droned.  

“Then what’s he doing here?”  

Gaius finally gave in and looked at the boy again. “Merlin, your faith in my all-seeing knowledge is both touching and wholly misplaced. Maybe if you’ve finished your work, you could go to bed and leave me to finish mine.”  

Merlin gave him a wry smile. “OK, I’m going.” He made it to the top of the stairs when he whipped his head around again. “Gaius?”  

The old man sighed. “Merlin.”  

“Do you think Owain can beat him?”   

He looked up, his expression softened as he saw the worry in Merlin’s face. “We’ll find out soon enough.”   

Merlin left and Matty caught Gaius’s eye. She looked away quickly, and that told Gaius all he needed to know. “Your suspicions are correct,” she said quietly as she slunk into her room.  

Sir Owain would not live to see another day.  

 

*  

 

Matty wanted to go to see the dragon with Merlin, she wanted to see Excalibur being born.   

“Where are we going? The dungeons are that way,” Matty said.  

“We’re going to Gwen’s; she has a sword.”    

“Gwen has the sword?”  

“Yeah, it’s the finest sword her father has made.”  

Matty then realised why Excalibur was so precious. She thought it was just a sword that Merlin had found and made the dragon breathe fire onto. But it wasn’t. It was made by hand, by Tom, Gwen’s father, for Arthur to use. It was made with such love and precision. And Arthur had used it in his final battle, it was something that Gwen would look at in her later years and be reminded of her father. A shiver ran through Matty, everything was connected.   

After visiting Gwen, they made their way to the dragon. Past the cells and down into the eery depths of Camelot.   

“Merlin,” said the dragon, “who is this?” he said, referring to Matty.  

“My sister, it’s not important. Do you know why I’m here?” he asked it.  

“It may surprise you, Merlin, but my knowledge of your life is not universal.”  

Merlin explained what was happening and lifted the sword with his magic towards Kilgharrah. “Will you burnish it, to save Arthur?”  

“The dead do not return without reason. Who has he come for?”  

“Uther.”  

“Then let him take his vengeance and the wraith will die without my aid.”  

“But it’s Arthur who’s going to fight him. You have to save him.”  

“This is your destiny, young warlock, not mine.”  

“But if Arthur fights the wraith and dies, Camelot will have no heir. I will have no destiny.”  

The dragon seemed to ponder his argument deeply. “A weapon forged with my assistance will have great power.”  

“I know,” Merlin said.   

If only you knew just how much power it holds, Merlin, Matty thought.  

“You do not know. You can only guess. You have not seen what I have seen. If you had, perhaps you would not ask this of me.”   

Merlin furrowed his brown. “What do you mean?”  

“In the wrong hands, this sword could do great evil. It must be wielded by Arthur and him alone. If you do not believe me, ask your sister. ”  

Merlin turned to Matty. “Do what you think is right,” she said. As much as she wanted Uther to die, she knew Arthur wasn’t ready to be king just yet.  

“I understand,” Merlin finally said to the dragon.  

“You must do more than understand. You must promise.”  

“I promise.”  

The only sound was the dripping of water throughout the cave, echoing loud and haunting. Then the world illuminated and Kilgharrah let his fire out. It was a wonderful sight to see, not one that Matty would forget in a long, long time. The sword stayed strong and mighty, and it soon began to glint with fire. Excalibur was born. The sword that would be Arthur’s destiny, and his doom. Matty wanted to cry at the sight of it. She didn’t know whether to love or hate it.  

“Heed my words. The sword was forged for Arthur, and him alone.” Merlin nodded and thanked the dragon before making an escape. “Girl,” it said as she was about to leave. “What is made cannot be unmade. I feel as if I do not need to tell you what can become of this sword, you must get rid of it once it has solved its purpose.”  

Matty only nodded.  

 

*  

 

The final fight was over and Uther slayed the wraith. The dragon was beyond livid that it was Uther who had used the sword. Merlin and Matty took it to the lake and threw it in to its depths. Down and down and down it went, not to resurface for a long time. Matty did not realise then that this sword would be her way home. She did not realise until it was too late.   

Notes:

thank you for 1,000 hits :') i hope you're all enjoying it <3

Chapter 18: Ealdor

Summary:

Can Matty save Will from the hands of destiny?

Notes:

Pieces - Andrew Belle
Sweet Heat Lightning- Gregory Alan Isakov
Blame The Moon- Hazlett
Open - Hunter Metts
Ghosts - BANNERS
Murder Song (5,4,3,2,1) - AURORA

Then Hunith showed up.

Matty watched from the side as her great grandmother begged Uther to help her. It was so strange seeing her, Merlin had told her all about his mother, but here she was. Her great grandmother.

“The winters are hard in Ealdor, and there are many children. Some of them just won’t be strong enough to survive. We barely have enough food as it is, and if Kanen takes our harvest, our children won’t live to see another summer. Please, we need your help.” Matty’s heart hurt at her words. Clearly, Uther’s didn’t.

“Ealdor’s in Cenred’s kingdom. Your safety is his responsibility,” said the harsh man.

“We’ve appealed to our king, but he cares little for the outlying regions. You’re our only hope.” Her voice was strong and warm, Matty wanted to listen to it forever; to bottle it up and take it home with her.

“I have the deepest sympathy for you and would have this barbarian wiped off the face of the earth,” Uther said.

Hunith’s eyes lit up. “You’ll help us?”

“I wish I could.”

“Surely we can spare a few men?” Arthur cut in. This surprised Matty. Though if she’s learned one thing about the prince, it’s that he doesn’t always agree with his father. She has learned that he can have a kind heart. He proved this when he saved Merlin and disobeyed his father’s orders to get the Mortius flower. That was the only time Matty had truly seen what Merlin constantly talked about, his selflessness. Other than that, he was a self-entitled knob.

“Resources are not the problem.” The king sat straight and strong. Matty despised him in that moment.

“Then what is?” Morgana asked.

“Ealdor lies beyond the Ridge of Escetir. For an army of Camelot to enter it would be an act of treason.”

Hunith dropped to her knees. “I know you are a good king, a caring man. I’m begging you, help us, please.”

Uther stared at her for a while. Matty wanted to kick his head in. “The accord we’ve struck with Cenred was years in the making. I cannot risk hundreds of lives for the sake of one village. I’m afraid Camelot cannot help.”

Merlin stiffened beside her, she grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. Morgana glared at Uther and rushed to Hunith’s side, helping her up.

“It must be hard seeing your mother like that,” Gwen whispered to Matty.

“What?” Matty furrowed her brows. “Oh, yeah…” she said after realising that Hunith was not her great grandmother here, but her mother. It was a strange feeling, she had gone so long without anyone talking to her about her mother, but now that was all going to change. Was there a certain way she was supposed to act? She didn’t know what it was like to have a mother.

The court was dismissed and she followed behind Merlin, Hunith and Gaius, watching them. Merlin had his arms wrapped around his mother as they walked back to the physicians. How on earth was she going to convince Hunith to pretend to be her mother?

The smell of potions wafted up her nose as they entered the chamber, the sunlight was fading causing a beautiful yellow glow to illuminate the room.

“Can I talk to you quickly, Merlin,” she said.

“Sure.”

“We have a problem,” Matty whispered to him as she dragged him to their room.

“I know we do.” He plonked himself down on his bed.

“No, I’m not sure we’re talking about the same problem, don’t worry your mother will be fine, I’m on about how she’s supposed to be my mother too.”

Merlin’s eyes widened as he understood. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll talk to her.”

He stood up and Matty followed. They walked down the steps towards his mother who was in conversation with Gaius. “Mum, can we have a word?” Hunith nodded and they sat down on the benches. “Mother, this is Matilda.”

“Nice to meet you,” Matty said softly.

“You too, Merlin has told me so much about you in his letters.” In her head, Merlin was about to claim Matilda as his girlfriend. That’s all Hunith had ever wanted; Merlin to find someone he loves. Truly loves. But that notion was quickly diminished by his next words.

“Mum, we have a bit of a situation.” Oh God, she’s pregnant, Hunith thought. “You see the thing is… she’s your daughter.”

Whatever Hunith was expecting, it was not that. She let out an amused laugh. “I’m pretty sure she isn’t.”

“Not actually, no. I can’t tell you why, but we’ve had to tell everyone that we’re twins.”

Hunith looked utterly lost. She glanced between Matty and Merlin. “My goodness, you do have unmistakably similarity,” she confessed.

“Yeah. So if you could pretend that Matilda is your daughter that would help us avoid a lot of questions.”

“Merlin-“ she looked unsure.

“Please, mother.”

“Gaius, what do you make of all this?”

Gaius sighed and strolled over to them. “In any other circumstance I’d call them mad. Alas, they are in a… situation and it is in their best interests to pretend.”

Hunith looked back to her son and saw the desperate look in his eye and smiled wearily. “Okay. I think you’re all mad, but okay” She turned to Matty and nodded. But now Merlin was stuck. He wanted to go back to Ealdor with his mother, but he didn’t want to leave Matty

Matty told him that it was fine, she told him to go to Arthur and to say he was going back to Ealdor, the rest would work out.

 

*

 

Villager after villager passed them on their way to Gwen’s house, the world was alive and bustling. The air had a particularly strong yeast stench, which was unusual, it made Matty’s stomach rumble. She later found out Morgana had ordered a lot of food for the journey to be picked up before they left.

They arrived and Gwen handed Merlin a sword, he reached for the blade. Gwen sucked in a breath, and he stopped. Matty laughed. Honestly, how could he be so stupid? “How does it feel?” Merlin gripped the hilt.

“Yeah. Yeah that feels… the feels really good. It’s very, erm, you know… swordy.”

Gwen raised an eyebrow. “Here’s the armour.” She motioned to the table where there were many pieces of well-made armour, curtesy of her father.

“We won’t be able to carry all that.”

“You won’t have to.” Everyone looked towards the door to see Morgana dressed in trousers and a corseted tunic. “We’re coming with you.”

“What do you mean?” Merlin asked, looking at Matty who smiled.

“You’re going to need all the help you can get. I can mend armour and sharpen swords,” Gwen announced.

“And I know how to fight,” Morgana added.

“But y-you can’t. I mean, why would you?”

“If it was the other way around, you’d help us. You already have. You saved my life.” Gwen’s eyes gleamed with friendship.

“And you helped me get the druid boy out of Camelot. We owe it to you. Both of you.”

“Thank you,” Matty said on behalf of Merlin who was on the verge of crying.

*

 

“I can’t wait to see Will again,” he said to Matty as they were packing.

Her heart stopped.

Will. No, no, no. How could she have forgotten.

“I’ve missed him so much, he’s always been my best friend, I’ve always seen him every day. It was so weird to wake up and not see him anymore. I wonder how he’s been.” Matty remained silent. “You already know that we used to catch frogs together, but we also used to chase dragonflies. He knows about my magic; he caught me once when we were having a dragonfly catching tournament. He was more upset that I was cheating than that I had magic-”

“I have to go somewhere,” Matty interrupted, and she ran out of the room. She didn’t stop until she made it to the dungeons. She caused a slight diversion to get rid of the guards and headed into the caves. It was time. She had to do it one day. Time to face the dragon.

The stairs down were dark, she traced her hands on the walls which were wet, slightly moss covered and decaying. Very fitting, she thought. She soon made it to the giant cave and looked around. Her torch only lit up a little bit of it, but she could see it was massive, stalactites and stalagmites shot up and down and covered the whole place.

“Kilgharrah?” she called. It echoed throughout the entirety of the cave, it was eery.

“I was wondering when you were going to come back,” he said as he soared his way down to her.

“Then I’m sure you know why I’m here.” She tried to stay as calm as she could, but being in the presence of a real-life freaking dragon was not a thing to be calm about.

“Like I said to Merlin, my knowledge of your life is not universal.”

“But I think you might know more than you’re letting on. You know about Merlin’s destiny, you know about the people who live and die.”

“You want to save the boy,” he stated, it wasn’t a question. He already knew.

“…Yes.”

“That is not wise.”

“But I can’t just let him die!” her feeble attempt of shouting rang in her ears as it danced around the cave, taunting her.

“The pain of death may hold heavy in your heart, but you cannot change what is already written.”

“But what if I can? What if that’s why I’m here!” Her eyes began to water, the firelight shimmering in them.

“If that is what you think then you shall never be free. You cannot save him; it is already decided.”

“I can’t accept that!”

“You will have to, and you will learn to.” It flapped its wings and then it was gone.

“Come back!” Matty shouted. “I will change it!” But even as she said it, she had a feeling she wouldn’t.

 

*

 

Matty stayed in their room whilst Merlin was getting supplies. Gaius continued to stir his potion, looking at Matty’s door every once in a while. He finally caved and knocked on it. “Matilda?” There was no answer. He opened it and went inside. Matty was on Merlin’s bed, her back to Gaius, she was cuddling his teddy bear that his mother had made for him when he was a boy. Something that he kept with him forever, something that he passed down to her. “Matilda, what’s wrong?”

“I want to go home,” she sniffed.

He went to sit on the end of the bed. “I know you do. We’ll figure it out. What’s wrong?”

“What if I can’t save him?” Now she started talking, she couldn’t stop. “It said I can’t change the past, that some things are set in stone, but I don’t believe it. Surely, I can change it if I know what’s going to happen.”

“Who’s ‘it’?” Gaius asked.

“The dragon. The thing is useless, all he does is speak in riddles.” Gaius didn’t know what to think. “Please, Gaius.” She sat up and stared at him, her eyes full of tears. “I need to talk to someone. Just this once. What I tell you won’t affect you or the future.”

“Are you sure?” She nodded. “OK then. Tell me.”

“Merlin’s going to hate me,” she whispered.

“Why?”

“Because I might not be able to save his best friend. Will is going to die and there’s nothing I can do about it.” She broke down into Gaius’s warm arms, he held her whilst she cried and smoothed her back.

“It’s okay,” he said. “It’s going to be okay.

But how could it be okay? How could any of this be okay?

 

*

 

The bakery was lively when they went to collect their supply. Lorcan was there to serve them, he smiled at Matty and she gave him a wave. Soon enough the five of them, Matty, Merlin, Hunith, Gwen and Morgana, set off for Ealdor. It was a bright sunny day, and the world was warm with the ever-growing summers breeze; Matty let it snake around her, blowing her hair softly. The frogs croaked in the pools of water and the flies buzzed rapidly around them as they continued to walk far through the forest. The birds sang songs around the trees, echoing them to each other, Matty began to whistle their tune.

They soon set up camp as dusk began to creep on them, the orange sky illuminated the world for a final time before it fell into a deep azure blue. Merlin lit a fire with flint and soon the forest was full of colour again. The flames danced for them, and the river beside them reflected the deep oranges and yellows from the fire.

“It’s so peaceful here,” Matty said. Leaning back onto a tree and closing her eyes. But her stomach was twisting and turning with the thought of Will.

 

*

Arthur soon joined them and they made it to the little village a few days later. Merlin told Will to pretend to know Matty.

“Why?” he questioned.

“Just, please Will,” Merlin begged.

“Who is she?”

“We accidently told everyone were twins and we have to keep the ruse up.”

“Huh, how do you accidently do that?” He squinted his eyes. “Blimey, you do look alike.”

“I know, that’s why we said it.”

Will sighed. “Fine. At least knowing your birthday will be easy enough, assuming you’re going by Merlin’s?”

“Yes.”

“When’s your actual birthday?”

“12th April,” Matty said.

“So, who’s actually older?”

“Technically Merlin.”

“This is so strange.” Will shook his head. Merlin and Matty looked to each other and smiled. If only he knew.

That night, Matty urged Merlin and Will to go frog hunting by the pond, to remind them of old times. She didn’t tell them the real reason was that they’d probably never get to do it again. She heard them wonder off into the distance, laughing about something when she felt a presence next to her.

“Aren’t you joining them?” Arthur took a seat next to her.

“No,” she said bluntly. Arthur was the last person she wanted to talk to.

“Why?” He began sharpening his sword.

“Will is Merlin’s friend.”

“Where are yours? Don’t you have any here?”

“Just one.” Her mind snapped to Hana. Sweet, kind, loving Hana. Matty missed her so much, her only friend in the world. The two of them against everyone. But then another person travelled into her thoughts. Josie.

“Where is she?”

“…Not here.”

“Oh…” Arthur’s voice went quiet. “I’m sorry.”

Matty turned to him, a frown on her face. “Who are you and what have you done with Arthur?”

The prince rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” The silence filled the hut, the wind could be heard dancing through the trees, and Arthur’s voice broke the air. “I just know what it’s like to lose a friend.”

“You do?” Matty sat up straighter at this deep bonding moment they were suddenly having.

Arthur grunted. “I had a friend when I was younger. His name was Kay, he was a like a brother to me. He was a few years older and looked after me well. He fell ill and died shortly after my twelfth birthday. It felt like I lost the only person who ever really knew me. He was quite similar to Merlin: didn’t care that I was a prince; didn’t let me get away with things.”

“Awh, I’ll tell him you admire him,” Matty teased. To her surprise Arthur chuckled.

“You do that, and I’ll make sure you clean my stables as well as my room.”

“All right, all right.” Matty held up her arms in surrender then said in a hushed tone, “I’m sorry for your loss.” Arthur smiled and nodded his head in thanks, the silence returned bringing with it an awkwardness. Arthur clicked his tongue and left. Gwen and Morgana joined her.

“What on earth was that about?” Morgana asked.

Matty scoffed. “I’m just as surprised.”

“I told you he can be quite sweet sometimes.”

“Sometimes,” Matty enunciated, raising her brows.

 

*

 

Then the time came. Kanan and his men had arrived.

Matty would soon find out what was going to happen.

“Merlin, if something goes wrong, please don’t hate me,” she whispered to him.

“Why would something go wrong?” he said, looking confused. “Matilda?”

“Just promise me.”

He saw the desperate look in her eyes. “Okay, I promise.”

Soon enough, Merlin used his magic and before Kanan could go looking for Arthur, Matty went looking for him. She found him and fired an arrow; it skimmed his head and soon his attention was on her. She didn’t have another arrow. That was meant to be the killing shot. She missed. Kanan raised his own bow and aimed it at Matty’s heart. He let the arrow fly and it struck.

Only it didn’t strike Matty.

Matty’s head hurt from where she struck the earth; pinpricks splattered her vision as she tried to regain her sight. She messily stood up off the ground she was pushed onto before looking around. Arthur had pierced Kanan from behind, he was now a bloody mess on the floor. And Merlin…

Merlin was next to his best friend,

Will was lying on the ground spluttering. Matty couldn’t believe it, she tried to change it but failed. She killed Will.

“Quick!” Arthur shouted, “Get him inside!”

They carried Will into the hut and placed him on the table.

“That’s twice I’ve saved you lot,” he said to Arthur.

“Twice?”

“Yeah, it was me. I’m the one that used magic.”

Merlin squeezed his shoulder. “Will, don’t”

Arthur looked at Merlin with confusion and… betrayal.

“It’s alright, Merlin. I won’t be alive long enough for anyone to do anything to me. I did it. I saw how desperate things were becoming and I had to do something.”

“You’re a sorcerer?” Arthur asked.

“Yeah,” Will chuckled. “What are you gonna do? Kill me?”

“…No. Of course not.” He looked up to Merlin. “Do what you can for him.” Merlin nodded and Arthur ushered Gwen and Morgana out.

“I was right about him. I told you he was going to get me killed,” he spluttered.

“You saved my life,” Matty said through tears. “Will, I…” she broke down and sobbed. Will’s arm found its way to her shoulder.

“I had to protect Merlin’s twin sister,” he let out a choked laugh.

“Will…” Matty trailed off. She bent forward and kissed her hero’s forehead. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’ll come back to haunt you; don’t you worry.” His breath was slowing and Matty sniffed.

“You’re not going to die,” Merlin reassured him. Of course he wasn’t, he was Will. His best friend, his partner in crime. Will couldn’t die.

“You’re a good man, Merlin. A great man. And one day, you’re going to be servant to a great king. This place has been boring without you. It was good to see you again.”

“Yeah, you too,” Merlin’s eyes begin to tear up.

Merlin stroked Will’s head. The silence was becoming almost unbearable.

“Merlin… Merlin, I’m scared,” Will sniffled.

“Don’t be. It’s going to be alright,” Merlin reassured. Because it was, it was going to be okay.

“Merlin…” Will closed his eyes for the last time.

Merlin’s world began to

c  

    r

 u

     m

         b

   l

      e                        

                      

                  for the first time.

In the sorrow of death is the proof of love, and Merlin was drowning in sorrow. And he didn’t know it yet, but there would be more to come.

Plenty more.

Chapter 19: Magic and the Fox

Notes:

Caterpillar - Mountains of the Moon
Let Down - Radiohead
Sidelines -Phoebe Bridgers
Wings In All Black - Gregory Alan Iskov
Dirty Paws - Of Monsters and Men

“You know how dangerous magic is. You shouldn’t’ve kept this from me, Merlin.” Arthur said as they watched Will’s body burn.

Matty wanted more than anything to punch Arthur right there and then, but she held herself back, however she couldn’t contain her scoff.

“What does it matter to you?” she began. “Ealdor is not in your kingdom, you have no say whether Merlin should have told you or not. In fact, you have no say here whatsoever.”

Arthur turned to look at her. “Matilda-“

“No, I’m sorry, Arthur, I will not have it. Merlin’s best friend just died and you’re standing here telling him that he was a monster. Have you forgotten what you told me before? About your own best friend? Merlin is going through that right now-”

“Matilda, leave it,” Merlin warned.

“Come on, Merlin! Why are you always defending him? Even when good magic is staring him in the face, he still sees it as evil. It is what is in the hearts of men that is evil, Arthur Pendragon, not in their magic. I should say that you are evil, that sword you have is used to kill, so what makes you any different?”

Before Arthur could respond, Matty stormed off.

 

*

 

No one spoke much on the way back to Camelot; Arthur was mad at Merlin and Matty, Matty, Gwen and Morgana were mad at Arthur.

Merlin was empty.

Once they made it back to Camelot, they went their separate ways. Merlin stopped in the middle of Gaius’s chambers and turned to look at Matty. His eyes were teary, she couldn’t look at them for long without feeling an immense amount of guilt.

“You knew, and you did nothing,” he whispered.

“You’re wrong,” she replied quietly. He didn’t reply. “I tried to save him, but I couldn’t. I tried, Merlin. I really did,” she sniffed. A tear trickled down her cheek. “There was nothing I could do!” she bowed her head, not daring to look at her grandfather. “You promised you wouldn’t hate me.”

“You should have told me! I would have found a way.” He stormed off and slammed their bedroom door. Matty fell to the floor, her head on her arms as she sobbed. Gaius game to her side and stroked her back.

“Give him time, he’ll come around.”

 

*

 

“Please,” she whispered into the darkness.  “Please.”

“I told you; you cannot change what is already written,” said the dragon.

“But if my task is to make Merlin happier in the future, then surely saving his friends will do that.”

“And what happens when they die anyway?”

“What?”

“His friends are not immortal, they will die anyway.”

“But Merlin can create more memories with them.” The dragon laughed. “I don’t understand. Why did Will have to die?”

“There is no more I can tell you.” It flew off, leaving Matty with even more questions.

She headed for the lake; Arthur would have to tell her. She sunk down and down and down until she hit the earth. Then she opened her eyes once she felt his presence next to her.

“You have questions.”

Why did Will have to die?

“Will had to die to keep Merlin by my side, he would have confessed himself and been banished.”

That’s selfish. Will was his best friend! There had to be another way!

“You will soon understand what can be changed and what cannot. Some things have been set in motion since the universe was born, Will’s death for example. Other things have not, but you have to find out for yourself. I’m sorry. I truly am, but there was nothing you could do for Will.”

I hate you… but he was gone.

Matty felt a force against her and she was rushed to the surface. She swam to the shore and cried. She cried for Will, for Merlin and for herself. There was nothing she could do.

 

*

 

A knock on the door came the next day, Matty opened it to find Arthur there.

“Is Merlin here? I need him to prepare me a bath, then dress me for training,” he looked past her shoulder, searching the room.

“Are you joking?” Matty snapped.

His eyes narrowed. “Why would I be joking about that?”

“Oh my god.” Matty was speechless.

“What?”

“Merlin best friend has just died and you’re still asking him to come to your every beck and call. Give him a few days to process it at least.”

“Yes, it’s very sad, but he still needs to work. People die all the time.”

Matty shook her head. “You’re heartless.”

“Nope, just a prince ready for training.”

“Just get Morris to do it.”

Arthur looked at her, confused. “Who’s Morris?”

“Your previous servant, are you kidding me?”

A hint of recognition crossed his face. “Oh, was that his name? I always just called him ‘Servant’.”

“I’ll do it.” Matty finally relented.

“What?”

“I’ll get you ready.”

Arthur blinked in surprise, then he began to laugh. “I can’t really be seen with a girl drawing me a bath and getting me dressed.

“Then make sure no one sees,” she seethed as she strode past him. She stopped, waiting for him to take the lead.

Back in the physician’s chambers, Gaius was wondering what he just saw. What was it with the Hunithson’s bossing the prince around? He walked over to Merlin’s room and knocked on the door. He entered and sat on his bed.

“Merlin. You know she couldn’t do anything, and she did try to. You can’t blame her for this.”

“I know,” he whispered.

“Do you know what she’s doing right now?” Merlin shook his head. “She’s currently getting Arthur ready for his training so that you can rest.”

Merlin sat up, looking horrified. “She can’t! Her eyes shouldn’t see those kinds of things!”

“Then I suggest you go and save her.”

And with those words of wisdom, Merlin threw on his jacket and ran off. He reached Arthur’s chambers just in time. He barged in just as Arthur was coming out from behind the screen. He ran to Matty and covered her eyes before backing up.

“Hey!” she protested. She tried to remove his hand from her eyes, but he was not letting that happen.

“I’ll be back in a minute, sire,” he said to Arthur who looked amused. He let go once they were outside. “What are you doing?” he asked her.

“Drawing Arthur a bath.”

“No. Don’t do that again, I don’t want you seeing… that.”

“What?”

“You know... Arthur,” he said awkwardly, rubbing his neck.

Matty smiled. “You know, you’re really behaving like a grandpa right now.”

“No I’m not,” he protested.

“If you say so. I’ll just go back in and finish off what I was doing.” Matty placed her hand of the door handle when Merlin pulled her back.

“You will do no such thing!” He looked mortified.

Matty couldn’t help but laugh. “Merlin! What do you think we were doing?! Have you forgotten I completely dislike him, I was about to leave after I finished pouring the bath, I wasn’t going to scrub him down.”

“Oh, right.” Merlin’s face reddened. “Well, I can take over now. Just go home.”

“Home,” Matty repeated quietly.

“I didn’t mean-“

“No, I know.”

Merlin sighed. “We’ll talk once I’m done, okay?”

“Honestly, I can carry on if you need more time.”

“No. It’s okay, I’m fine.” He gave her an absent smile; she knew he wasn’t fine, but she didn’t argue.

 

*

 

Another knock came at the door an hour afterwards. Matty answered.

“Matilda, we’re going for a picnic, care to join?” It was Gwen and Morgana. They held up a basket each.

Matty grinned. “Yes!”

They made their way through the village and out of the castle. Morgana told her they were taking her to their secret spot. It turned out to be a little field behind the castle which wasn’t occupied by anything. It was so pretty. It was only a fine day, the sun was shining and the birds were tweeting. It was still warm and September was closing in. Matty found that the fine days were the best days, they didn’t expect you to be anything less or more than what you already were.

Gwen put the blanket down from them and they all took their seats. She then delved into their picnic baskets and took out the food. There was a whole feast: pastries and baked goods, fruits and sweets. It all looked divine.

“We’re so sorry about Will. We know you must have been close,” Morgana said.

“He was closer to Merlin.” Matty desperately wanted to change subject.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” She chewed on a grape. The conversation was over.

They all finished eating and lay back on the blanket, feeling fat and full.

“Did you know Will had magic?” Morgana asked, bringing the conversation back.

“…Yes.”

“I still don’t understand why Arthur was mad at Merlin for not tell him Will had magic,” Gwen said. “Will was his best friend, and Arthur is the Prince of Camelot, the kingdom renowned for hating magic. Why would he tell him?”

“Because Arthur thinks that everyone should be loyal to him and him alone,” Matty said. “Ealdor isn’t even in Camelot, so I don’t know why he worried so much.”

“Especially as Will saved a lot of people with his magic.” Gwen added. It went silent. “Sorry, Matilda, you probably don’t want to talk about it.”

They packed up and parted ways. Morgana had to attend a lesson, and Gwen had to prepare with her. Matty went to collect a few herbs for Gaius in the forest.  

She was just walking through the trees, the sunlight flaring through the leaves, when she found a pond. It was green from algae and had frogs and toads bouncing around it. She set down her satchel and got a closer look. She smiled as she listened to them croaking, she wondered what they were saying. Suddenly a fox came running out of the trees and ran straight into the pond. Matty stood up and looked around for anything to save it, it was only a cub. It squealed as it tried to swim, but it didn’t know how. There was nothing around Matty to fish it out either. She then saw the mother with the rest of the litter. She was on the ground, looking as if she was ready to pounce on Matty. She looked back to the pond and the cub had gone.

“No,” she whispered.

The energy in her body came spilling out of her. Before she knew it, the water had parted and she was able to lift the pup out. It was damp and cold as Matty held it. She felt the magic rush through her veins and into the cub, warming it up. Matty felt horribly lightheaded, the world around her was swaying, dancing. She set the pup on the ground before falling to it herself. She could hear movements around her, the scuffling of branches and fallen leaves. She heard the sniffs and squeaks of the foxes but nothing else. Her mind went black and so did her vision.

Matilda… Wake up Matilda, it’s nearly morning. It was Arthur’s voice. You’re safe here for now, but they can’t keep watch over you much longer, they need to go home too.

 Matty’s eyes slowly opened, she blinked a few times before clumsily sitting up. Beside her was the fox and her cubs. They all sat looking at her, she held out her hand. The mother nudged one of her babies, Matty knew it was the one she saved, and it slowly went up to her hand and nuzzled it with its nose.

Matty looked to the mother and smiled. “Thank you,” she said. She thought she saw the fox nod, but that was impossible, foxes can’t understand humans. Soon enough, the mother gathered her babies, and they were on their way. Matty stood up, holding her head and wondered back to the castle. Dawn was breaking, hues of pink and orange spilling into the sky, she had been unconscious for hours.

She entered the chambers and Gaius and Merlin were already up. They looked to the door and their faces relaxed. Merlin ran up to her and embraced her.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“I used magic,” she said weakly.

He pulled back from the hug and stared at her. “What?”

“There was a little fox cub drowning, and I moved the water to bring it out. I then warmed it up before passing out. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“You used magic?” Merlin repeated.

“Yes.”

He started laughing. “Oh my god! You did it!” He gripped her shoulders and pulled her back into a hug.

“Before you kill her Merlin, I’d like to check her head.”

“Oh, of course.” He let go and let Gaius do his magic. He sat her down and started examining her. “How do you feel?”

“I feel the most rested I’ve been since I arrived here.”

“No headache? Nausea?”

“No.”

“Just rest for today, I can manage on my own.”

Chapter 20: Beyond the Fallen Snow

Summary:

Matty tries everything so save Tom, the blacksmith, but she must learn that somethings cannot be changed

Notes:

i hope you're all enjoying it, i would love some feedback!

Matty seriously considered saving the unicorn, but then she wouldn’t get to see Arthur eat rat, so she left it, he needed to be shown that he can’t kill a unicorn and get away with it. So soon the drought hit, and everyone was confused, the harvest had been doing so well, the weather had been perfect.

“It’s Arthur’s fault,” she said as they were munching on a beetle. “It’s always Arthur’s fault. If he didn’t kill that unicorn this wouldn’t be happening.” She now immensely regretted letting him kill it, was she as bad as him? She began to wonder if she could have stopped him anyway, if it was one of the things she could change. She’d never know.She made it her mission to catch the rat and feed him it. She scurried around his room, whilst Merlin cleaned, trying to find it. She cornered it and pounced.

“He’s going to murder you,” Merlin stated.

“He can try.”

She cooked it up and made it as disgusting as possible. It would be all he had to eat. She then got Merlin to serve it to him whilst she peaked around the door.

“Lost my appetite,” the prince said.

“You have to eat something,” Merlin insisted.

“I can’t. Not while my people are starving. D0 you really believe I’m responsible for the curse?”

Merlin inhaled. “I’m afraid so.”

Arthur looked deep in thought. At least Merlin told the truth. “We’re going to the forest, first thing in the morning. Maybe we can pick up Anhora’s trail. Whatever it takes.”

“Okay, but you have to eat. You won’t be able to help anyone if you’re too weak to pass the test.”

 Arthur nodded and sat up. He got a lump of rat on his spoon and put it in his mouth, he smacked his lips together. Merlin looked to Matty through the door crack, they nearly burst out laughing there and then.

“What kind of meat is this? It has a very strange texture.”

“It’s pork.” The lie came so easily.

Arthur crumpled his face. “This isn’t pork. It’s far too stringy. What is it? It’s erm…” He set the spoon down and stared at Merlin who wouldn’t meet his eye. “It’s rat, isn’t it.”

Merlin opened his mouth, closed it, and nodded. “Try not to think about it.”

Arthur looked as if he was about to throw up, and it delighted Matty. Then he collected himself.

“Look at me. I’m being rude. Here I am, stuffing my face with this delicious stew when you’re hungry too. Come on.” Arthur stood up. “Take a seat,” he patted his chair. When Merlin didn’t sit, he grabbed the boy’s shoulders and forced him into it. “Eat.” Merlin grabbed the spoon and lifted it to his mouth. He was about to set the spoon down when Arthur guided his hand back to his mouth. Merlin looked to Matty and Arthur followed his gaze. Matty moved away just in time. Except she didn’t. Arthur went striding over and grabbed her, dragging her in.

“Well, I wonder who cooked this then.”

“You wanted the rat caught,” Matty stated.

“You must be hungry too. Have a seat.”

“No, I’m okay. Me and Gaius just had another beetle.”

“Sit,” Arthur ordered. Matty sat. “Eat.”

Merlin gave the spoon to Matty who glared at him. Arthur did the same, and guided the spoon into her mouth.

“Mmm, it’s actually pretty tasty,” she said behind gags.

“Well, I’m glad you like it. Because,” he went to fetch the pot of stew and lifted the lid off, “there’s plenty more.”

 

*

 

“… and then he said,” Matty coughed and got into character, “Didst thou do injurious disrepair pon thine wings when thou plummeted from yon Heavens?”

Gwen, who was beating a rug, burst out laughing and Matty soon followed. “You’re kidding!?”

“I wish I was,” Matty chuckled. “I said, ‘Thine horns did break indeed from my ascent from depths of thy earth.’”

Gwen laughed harder and tears formed in her eyes. “Matilda!” she choaked out. “I’m really starting to believe you may be a demon!”

“Well, why do men have to be so creepy? I mean, it was kind of a cute picky up line, but it’s the way he slithered up to me,” she started laughing again. “Honestly, he was like a snake.”

Gwen continued to beat out the rug and their laughs soon died. Matty watched as Gwen’s father snuck up behind her, looking at Matty and putting his finger to his lips.

“Boo!” he shouted. Gwen jumped and put her hand to her heart. “Did I surprise you?” Tom asked happily.

“You certainly did!”

“Well, I have another surprise for you.” He took his hands out from behind his back and produced a gorgeous looking dress. It was purple and had red sleaves with the most delicate buttons traveling down it. Red flowers intertwined with the buttons and Gwen smiled, taking it.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Well, you are a beautiful girl, Gwen. You deserve beautiful things.”

Matty’s heart panged at the father-daughter contact. She suddenly missed her own father, even though she had never met him.

“But how? I mean… it must have been very expensive,” Gwen said with suspicion.

“Oh, very,” Tom admitted. “But we’re on the up now, everything’s going to be different.”

“What’s going on?” Gwen asked more seriously.

“It’ll be alright, trust me.” Tom kissed her cheek and sped off, shouting, “I won’t be home for dinner,” behind him. Gwen and Matty looked to each other, something was off.

 

*

 

Both Merlin and Matty woke with a start. They looked to each other from their beds then to the window where they saw it was still dark.

“What on earth was that?” Matty asked.

Merlin shook his head. “I have no idea.” He got up and wondered down the steps to Gaius’s room.

“Can’t sleep?” the old man asked.

“Something woke us.”

Gaius looked over the top of his glasses. “What?”

“I don’t know. A feeling.”

Matty joined him on the stairs. “It was powerful,” she said.

“There’s magic here, in Camelot.” Just then Gwen burst through the doors in panic. “Gwen. What’s wrong?”

“My father’s been arrested,” she panted.

Merlin stared at her. “Arrested? For what?”

“They say he was making weapons for a sorcerer! They’re charging him with treason!” she cried. Matty ran to her and embraced her, allowing her to cry onto her shoulder. Matty would save him. She would make sure he escapes like he was supposed to.

They all headed to the dungeons. Gwen went to speak with her father, Matty stayed incredibly silent. It was like Will all over again.

“What did he say?” Merlin asked Gwen once she made her way back over to them.

“He said Tauren came to him at the forge, offered to pay him a fortune for his help, not to make weapons, for an experiment or something.”

“What king of experiment?”

“Tauren didn’t say. But he used some kind of stone… some kind of magic.”

Matty and Merlin glanced at each other. Magic was always at the scene of the crime in Camelot, no wonder Uther thought it was evil. Matty let Gwen have her bed, the poor girl was exhausted.

“I don’t understand it. What would a sorcerer want with Tom?” Merlin asked Gaius.

“His forge, Merlin. It’s the finest in the kingdom.”

“You think Tom was lying? You think he was really making weapons?”

“No, I don’t,” Gaius admitted.

“Then what?”

“When Tom was arrested, they found gold on him.”

“So?”

“And from what Gwen was saying, Tauren’s experiment bears all the hallmarks of alchemy.”

“But alchemy’s impossible, isn’t it?”

“To change the very nature of one thing to another has defeated all who have tried. But if you used magic…” he trailed off.

“Do you think that’s what woke us?”

“It is possible I suppose.”

Merlin and Matty glanced at each other then walked back into their room to watch over Gwen. Matty was sat on Merlin’s bed and Merlin was sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. Then the feeling came back, the intense, magical feeling. They looked at each other with unease. It was powerful magic indeed.

A short while later, Morgana entered and asked how Gwen was. When she left, she told them there was no hope, Uther had already decided his fate, a trial was just law. Matty told Merlin to stay with Gwen.

“Morgana,” she called after her. “We have to help him,” she whispered.

“I’m going to. I have a key, I’m going to slip it to him when the guards aren’t watching.”

“Let me help. Let me guide him out, please.”

“It’s too dangerous, Matilda.”

“You can’t stop me. Gwen is my friend too, and I would die before I see her upset.”

Morgana stared at her. “OK. I’ll tell him to follow you, be there at ten o’clock tonight. Do you know a way out?” Matty nodded. “OK then. Good luck.”

 

*

 

Merlin watched as the executioner walked on by, leading a troop of men with guards following behind them.

“They’re to be executed?” Merlin asked Arthur.

“Yes, Merlin.”

“By order of the king?”

“They committed a serious crime?”

Merlin couldn’t believe what Arthur just said. “Giving a man a bed for the night?!”

Arthur glared at him. “Not a man, a sorcerer.”

“Maybe they didn’t know that,” Merlin stated. Not everyone knows what to look for in a sorcerer, those men were probably just glad to have him pay for a bed. How was this fair? How was any of this fair?

“It’s not for you to question my father’s actions. Is that understood?” Arthur raised his voice and Merlin was taken aback. He thought Arthur would at least see the injustice in this. Just when he thought the prince was finally beginning to be a good person, he goes and ruins it.

“Yes, sire,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Now go get on with whatever you’re meant to be doing.”

Merlin walked past him and Arthur watched him go. Who was Merlin to tell him what was right and what was wrong! Of course he knew this was wrong. Of course he knew his father was acting excessively. But he could hardly go to the king and tell him he was wrong could he

 

*

 

Nine o’clock came and Matty was anxious, what would happen to her if she was caught? Would she die? Would older Arthur save her? She didn’t want to find out. Then the bell chimed for ten o’clock and she made her way to the village. Behind one of the houses was a wall (she found it when she was exploring before), there was a large hole covered up with wooden pallets, but the wood seemed to have fallen away and she saw that it was blocking a tunnel. It led her to the dungeons.

She mustered up her courage and entered through hole in the wall, presumably, it was blocked off for this very reason, but over time it had broken away. She entered and walked the dark tunnel, crouching as to not hit her head. After a few minutes she saw the light of the dungeons. She checked that there were no guards in the area and walked through. She wrapped on the bars and Tom stood up.

“Hurry, we don’t have long,” Matty whispered.

“If they find you’ve helped me, they’ll kill you.”

“So be it. I cannot let Gwen grieve for you.”

Tom unlocked the door and followed Matty back down the dark tunnel. They emerged into a night as dark as the devil's heart, and had made it to the village when they heard the warning bells begin to toll. They were too exposed here she realised. They needed to get somewhere safer. She took the lead and weaved in and out of the houses. It was past curfew so thankfully everyone was in bed, though with the sound of the bells, she was sure they’d be waking up and looking out of their windows. The rain was coming down hard and heavy, soaking her through to her briefs but it didn’t matter, she had to focus on getting Tom out alive. She was about to walk in the main street when four guards turned the corner. She quickly ducked back behind the building and waited until they left.

“Matilda, please go home. You’ve done more than enough for me. I can find my way out from here.”

“I have to make sure you’re safe.” She had so much to prove to herself, that she could change things. She glanced back out into the road and ushered him to come. They slid into a narrow space, wedged between two houses. Once she emerged out the other end, she realised they were trapped. Guards were everywhere.

Tom grabbed her shoulders and made her look into his eyes. “You have to go. I can’t get out of this. I thank you and the Lady Morgana for trying, but I was always going to die. But you should not come down with me. Go. Now.” He pushed Matty behind him. She watched as he emerged from their hiding place, hands held high.

“Kill him!” a guard shouted.

Matty heard the sound of Tom wince as the blade went in. She heard his body thud to the floor, heard the rain dripping from roof to ground in this unforgiving winter. She covered her mouth to stifle her sobs. She had to get out of there before she was caught too. She backtracked out of the narrow space and ran to the safety of Gwen’s house. She stopped there for a few minutes to allow herself to cry. Why wasn’t anything going her way, why couldn’t she save anyone? She saw a little brown teddy that sat on a bed. She picked it up and placed it in her pocket.

She decided it was time to go back to Gaius’s. She double checked her exit and made a run for it. She assumed all the guards would be busy with the body. She didn’t expect to run headfirst into Arthur. She fell to the floor and Arthur glared down at her.

“What are you doing out? It’s past curfew and we have a criminal on the lose.”

“The only criminals here are you and your father,” she spat.

Arthur grabbed her and hauled her up. “Don’t ever speak of my father like that.”

“Tom did nothing wrong, and neither did those men your father executed. Just because he’s too blinded by hatred to see a threat where there is only innocence.”

Arthur’s lip twitched at her words. “I’ll have you thrown in jail for being out after curfew,” he stated. “And if I find out that it was you who helped Tom escape then I’ll make sure you join him.”

Matty wanted to spit in his face, but instead she grabbed for the teddy and held it up. “Gwen was crying and wanted this teddy, so I said I’d get it for her. Now if you don’t mind,” she wrenched herself from his grip, “I’d like to give it to her. Unless you want to throw me in jail that is.”

Arthur hesitated. His expression softened at the sight of the teddy and relaxed his grip on Matty. “Go. But if I ever see you out past curfew again, I’ll make sure there is no mercy.”

Matty stormed past him and headed to her chambers. Gwen was still fast asleep, but Gaius and Merlin were waiting in the main room.

“Matty, where have you been?” Merlin asked.

“Tom’s dead,” she sobbed quietly, as to not wake Gwen.  Merlin wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. He smelt the same. How was that even possible? One thousand five hundred years had passed yet this scent was still his. Merlin smelt of comfort and kindness. Of home.

Tomorrow will be kinder, she thought. But it wasn’t.

They had to tell Gwen the news the next morning, and the shriek that came out of her almost ruined Matty for good.

Morgana watched as the guards dragged the body into the square and laid him on a cart. That was when Gwen came running out of the castle, crying for her father. Morgana’s blood boiled, how dare Uther do this. How dare he!

She stormed to the Uther’s chambers and waited for the guards to let her in. “You have blood on your hands, Uther Pendragon!” she shouted. “Blood that will never wash off!”

Uther stood up from his chair and walked towards his window. “May I remind you that you’re speaking to your king.”

“May I remind you that a king is wise and just. You are neither. You rule only with your sword.”

“You know nothing of what it means to be king. The fate of Camelot rests in my hands. It is my responsibility to protect the people of this land from its enemies.” He poured himself a goblet of water and took it to his lips.

“Then the kingdom is doomed,” Morgana spoke. Uther lowered the goblet. “For one by one you make enemies of us all.”

“You speak treason, Morgana,” the king said.

Morgana scoffed. “Only a mad man hears the truth as treason.”

Uther locked eyes with her. “Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.

Morgana glared into his dead eyes. “You just try,” she challenged.

Uther had the guards restrain her and drag her to the dungeons. They shackled her and left her there. There was a single barred window in the corner of a wall letting the small amount of sunlight in, and hay all over the floor, it was a place for a pig, not a Lady.

 

*

 

Gwen lay on Matty’s bed, staring at the wall. Matty came in and sat down next to her stroking her hair, asking her if she was alright.

“Can you sing to me?” she said quietly. “My mother used to sing when I was sad.”

Matty thought of a good song, something that could give her hope. She thought of the one her grandfather sang to her when her mother had died.

 

“Deep in the forest, beyond the falling snow,

I lie rooted in the trees, sheltered from the unknown.

Oh, deep in the forest, time stands still,

I’ll be everywhere and everything, come meet me on this hill.

Far deep in the forest, I see the stars align,

The sun is ahead and the black clouds behind.

Deep in the forest, beyond the fallen snow,

I lie rooted in the trees; I have found my way home.”

 

She heard Gwen’s small sobs and continued to stroke her hair. That was until Arthur came in to express his condolences. Matty scowled at him, it was his fault that her father was dead, what right did he have to express how sorry he was.

But no, that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t Arthur’s fault. He may have a tyrant for a father, but that does not make him one. Matty assumed that if he stood up to Uther, he would not be standing here expressing his apologies, he’d be in some dungeon somewhere. Once Arthur left, Matty followed him.

“Arthur!” she called out, he turned to look at her. “I just wanted to say…” she avoided his eyes. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said about you yesterday. I was mad, and upset.”

“I’m sorry too. It was a selfless thing you were doing, getting Gwen’s teddy, I shouldn’t have said that about you joining Tom.”

They both acknowledged each other's apology and left it at that.

 

*

 

The days passed and Gwen was ordered by Tauren to bring the stone to him. In her place went Morgana, and following Morgana was Merlin. Matty decided to stay out of it. She wanted the king dead just as much as Morgana and she didn’t have any reason to stop her.

“Pass the salt please,” Gaius said to Merlin who was engrossed in his bowl. He handed the man an apple and Matty tried not to laugh.

“Are you all right?” the old man asked.

“What?” Merlin finally looked up from his bowl. “Yeah, I’ve just got a few things on my mind, that’s all.

“Anything you’d like to talk to me about?”

Merlin shook his head. “I can’t imagine you’d be interested.” Which was a lie, because Matty knew for certain that Gaius would be very interested to hear about the escapades of both Merlin and Morgana.

“As long as you’re sure.”

Merlin stood. “I should be getting to work.” He turned and headed for the door.

“Er, Merlin?” The boy stopped and turned back around. “That’s a broom cupboard.” Matty couldn’t hold it any longer and she burst out laughing. Merlin turned to look at the cupboard and then back to them and gave them a wry smile before heading out of the real door. “Should I be worried?” he asked Matty.

“Nah. I’m staying out of this one because I know I’d try to help the person who is, in theory, doing the wrong thing. But Merlin’s trying to save the day. He’s doing the right thing; I don’t know how he does it.”

Merlin did indeed save the day and Uther was not murdered much to Matty’s dismay. Once all was peaceful again, they held a funeral for Tom, a secret funeral of course, they couldn’t possibly honour a fallen man who was in league with a sorcerer, heavens forbid. Gwen wore the dress her father had given her on that bright sunny day, and the rain pattered off it, slipping into the cracks and soaking her skin. Matty held one hand and Morgana held her other, they would always be there for her.

Chapter 21: The Questing Beast

Things were quiet in Camelot for a few weeks, which was always a worry, it meant someone was probably plotting to kill Arthur or Uther, those two sure did have a lot of enemies.

Both Merlin and Arthur were out hunting with the knights one day when they came across the questing beast. This was Matty’s final test for herself. If she could not save Arthur from getting bitten, then she would give up trying to change the future all together. She begged and pleaded for Arthur to let her go with them, he finally relented, and they began their hunt.

The forest was misty in the winter, the air was cold and thick with fog. Matty didn’t like the look of it. They made their way across the twigs and mud and found a cave, it was steep and dark and they entered with no sound. Merlin lit the torch once it got too dark to see and took the lead. The earth crunched under their feet despite treading lightly and they soon found it wasn’t the earth at all, they looked down to see skeletons upon skeletons. It took everything in Matty not to scream, she covered her mouth. The area they entered was large and round, and by the amount of bones, it was clearly where the beast had its feasts.

A hissing reverberated off the cave’s walls and the three of them spun around. A growl came from behind them, low and deep and completely terrifying. Merlin moved first, taking the light with him. In front of them was the beast, it was horrifying and Matty’s feet were stuck to the floor in sheer fear. Arthur pulled out his sword and swung at it, it did not even pierce the beasts skin. It reared up on its two legs and Matty pushed Arthur out of the way, getting struck herself. She fell to the floor. Arthur swung again and Merlin enchanted the blade to plunge deep into the beast’s body. It moaned and hissed before collapsing onto the floor beside Matty. Arthur got to her first and picked her up, slinging her over his shoulder and running out, calling his men to him.

He placed Matty carefully on Gaius’s table and looked to Merlin who was looking frantic. Gaius told Arthur to leave, he needed to concentrate. But in reality, Merlin needed to look through his magic book for anything that could help.

Matty could hear their voices, could hear the worry and the fear in them, but she couldn’t open her eyes to tell them it would be OK. She heard Merlin casting his spells on her, but she couldn’t open her mouth to tell him they wouldn’t work. The world went quiet for a minute and then she heard Merlin’s voice again, telling Gaius about how there was an island. An island which Gaius already knew about, and he was telling Merlin how dangerous it was. But Merlin didn’t listen and he went. He went to the Isle of the Blessed.

Matty was sure she heard Arthur’s voice in her room, for that was where she was now, in her bed. “You saved my life, I wish I could do the same for you,” he had said. Matty wanted to open her mouth and tell him to treat Merlin well, to look after him for her. Then she heard his voice again, but it was older. “It is time to visit for a while.” Then all went white and she could no longer hear the world.

 

*

 

She woke up in a forest. The trees were swaying in the wind and the white puffy clouds slowly raced across the blue sky. There were daffodils and bluebells covering the entire floor of the forest, the scent of them was intoxicating and she breathed deep. The fox cub that she saved came to her and licked her hand, it allowed her to pick it up and she stroked him.

“Hello, Matilda.”

She whirled around to see Arthur. But it was not the Arthur she knew, it was the one from the lake. She could see him clearly now, without the depths of the murky water between them. He was wearing chainmail and had a patch of red on his chest, she assumed this was what he wore when he died, his red cape swaying softly in the wind.

“Hello, Arthur.”

“We welcome you to Avalon,” he smiled at her.

“Avalon?” she questioned, her face showing her confusion.

Arthur chuckled. “We don’t intend to keep you, that all depends on if Merlin can save you in time. We have faith in him.”

“Why do you keep saying we?”

Arthur smiled at her and moved to the right. Behind him was a young girl, about twenty years old, she had dark brown hair and blue eyes, she looked like Matty.

“M-Mum?” she stuttered, unbelieving.

The woman nodded and broke into a cry. Matty put down the fox and ran towards Gwen. They embraced each other and held each other’s face, staring deeply into the same eyes.

“My daughter, look at you.”

“I don’t understand. How are you here?”

“Everyone Merlin or yourself has ever loved goes to Avalon. But unlike Arthur, we cannot return.”

Matty couldn’t stop looking at her mother. “Is it really you?” Gwen nodded. “There are so many things I want to say to you,” she sobbed.

“And you will have time. But there are a few other people who want to see you.” She too moved to the right and a woman in her late thirties emerged. She too had silky dark hair. Matty recognised her.

“Grandma?”

“Hello, Matilda,” Freya said, wrapping her arms around Matty so tight she couldn’t breathe. “I am so proud of you; I want you to know that. So, so proud.” She wiped Matty’s tears and kissed her forehead before moving to the right. The last person in line was none other than Old Lady Thornberry.

“My dear,” she held out her arms and Matty ran into them. “What would you say to some milk and cookies?”

“I think that sounds lovely.”

They all travelled to a nearby hut by the river and Old Lady Thornberry prepared a glass of milk and some cookies.

“I know you have lots of questions, but for now, enjoy the cookies.” Matty nodded and scoffed them down, oh how she missed these.

“Did you know that your family were from Camelot?” she asked.

“Are you talking about young Liliwen?”

“I am, she’s very nice.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” she smiled.

“So it’s true? Your family have lived on that land all this time?”

“Who said Liliwen is my family?”

“I just assumed, they called her Thorn and Berry…?” she trailed off, thinking she must have gotten it wrong.

“They did. My family were always such good foragers. I remember the day of the Beltane celebration. I tied a red ribbon to a tree and wished for a long and happy life. I can safely say that I got my wish.”

Matty stared at her, eyes wide, mouth open. “You’re- you’re telling me that Liliwen is you?”

“Merlin found me one day, pacing the old forest, looking for Camelot, he must not have realised that some of us were still alive and still remembered the great castle. I was an old woman by then, but I remembered the stories and went back to find them. I slipped and hurt my leg in the thick forest. I was sure I was going to die. But then I saw your grandfather, he was walking through, looking solemn. I recognised him as the old court sorcerer and asked him to heal me and he did so. I felt great, my bones stopped hurting and my body didn’t ache. I followed him you know, through the forest until he made it to the lake. We were a team for a while, he continued to heal me when I began to ache again, but he would often disappear, always coming back to help me. I told him I want to live the world with him so that he wasn’t alone, he reluctantly agreed and made me promise to tell him when I was too tired to live.”

“And then you died because you didn’t listen to me,” Matty said, then instantly felt guilty. But Liliwen smiled.

“Yes, I should have listened to you. But I was getting tired, I don’t think I could have gone for much longer.”

“Thank you for keeping my grandfather company.”

“It was beyond my pleasure. Now, talk to your mother.”

Matty looked over to her mother but didn’t know where to begin. What do you say to someone who you’ve dreamt about meeting every day of your life?

“You’re so brave, Matty.”

“What we’re you going to call me?” was all she came out with. “Grandpa said you wouldn’t tell him, so I’m named after what grandma wanted to call you.”

Gwen smiled. “I was going to call you Arla, after a certain young king that your father always talked about. I would have called you Art for short.” She looked to Arthur who laughed.

“Arla,” Matty repeated. “I like it.”

“Your father chose one that suits you a lot though.”

“What about my middle name?”

“Arla Penny Hunnithson.”

“Penny?” she furrowed her brows before raising them in realisation “Pendragon.”

“Your grandfather loved Arthurian legends so much that I wanted to name you after them, except now I know they weren’t legends.”

“When I go home, I’m going to change my name.” Matty let everyone know.

“Do what you want, darling. I’ll always support you no matter what.” Gwen stroked Matty’s hair behind her ears and smiled. My mother, she thought. My mother who is only two years older than me.

“I’m going to be your age soon,” Matty said sadly.

“Then live it better than I did. I was young and foolish. But I would do it all again if it meant you would be born. I know you were unhappy, but you’ve come out of this earth, not into it, you are born from magic itself, so what makes you think you can leave just like that?”

“I’m sorry,” Matty choked. Her mother wiped her tears.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Is there anything else you’d like to ask me?”

“It’s funny, I thought of a million and one questions that I would ask. Yet none of them seem to matter anymore, not now that I’m with you. Just you being here is enough for me.”

“My girl, I’m so sorry I had to leave you.” Tears rolled from Gwen’s cheeks, mirroring Matty’s. “Speak to your grandmother now.” Her mother stood up and swapped seats with Freya.

“Hello,” her grandmother said.

“Hello,” Matty replied.

“It’s been tough hasn’t it. Your grandfather used to talk to me about his best friend called Arthur who died when they were younger, but I never imagined this. I’m just glad he has you.”

“But he doesn’t at the moment, I’ve been gone for…” she did the math once again. “Over a month by now.”

“But you will go back. You will be with him once more and tell him of your adventures.”

“But I don’t know how to go back. I don’t know what it is I’m supposed to do.”

“You do, Matty.” Freya lifted her hand to Matty’s heart. “You may not know now, but you will figure it out. You have all the tools necessary to go back.”

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“I’m afraid we can’t do that,” Arthur interrupted. “The Sidhe are already angry at me for allowing you to come here. We are not allowed to say anything without severe consequences, I hope you understand.”

Matty nodded but looked disheartened. It was silent in the hut for a while, they just listened to the birds whilst Liliwen washed Matty’s mug that had her milk in and the plate that the cookies were one.

“Can we go back outside?” Matty asked.

“Of course,” her mother said. They all filed out of the hut and into the bright earth.

“I thought you were in like an eternal sleep,” she said to Arthur.

“I am. Just as you are.”

“Do you know when you can return?”

“No.” He shook his head and looked to the ground.

“Do you want to sleep?” Her mother asked her. Matty nodded, she was awfully tired.

They headed into another building, it looked like Merlin’s house, the one by the lake. She headed to her room and fell asleep to her grandmother stroking her hair, her mother singing her a lullaby and Liliwen watching over her.

When she awoke, they were all still there.

“How long can I stay here?” she asked.

“It’s already been three days, Merlin will soon be back,” Arthur said.

“Three days!?”

“Time is different here, it does not follow the flow like water does in a river. Sometimes it’s slower, other times it’s faster. It’s… complicated.”

Matty huffed. “Then in that case, do you have anything that you’d like me to say to Merlin?”

They all went silent. Liliwen spoke first. “Tell him that I’m glad I fell and hurt my foot that day.” Matty nodded.

“Tell him I miss him and love him so very much,” Freya said.

“Tell him that I’m sorry I left him alone with a baby to look after. But tell him he’s done a fantastic job in raising you.” Her mother tried not to cry, blinking back the tears.

She turned to Arthur, waiting for his response. “Tell him I hope to see him soon, that he’s still the worst servant I’ve ever had... And that I’m sorry he had to hide who he was from me.”

Matty nodded and hugged each one of them again. She could feel time slipping away from her, she didn’t want to go, not yet. Just a few days longer, a few hours, minutes, seconds, anything.

She watched them go as she gained consciousness.

Chapter 22: There's No One Left

Summary:

we return back to present day where we find merlin setting the world to ruins.

The new year was upon them quickly; the snow was falling, and the cold days seemed to last forever. Matty traversed the road of white to pick Gwen up from her home, the journey to and from the castle and her home was becoming difficult, and with her being Morgana’s maid, she needed to be at the castle frequently, so she would be staying in the servants’ quarters until the snow had dispersed. Matty took one look at the room and dragged Gwen back to her chambers.

“You are not sleeping in that filth,” she said. “Take my bed, just until the snow is gone.”

Merlin offered Matty his bed, and he’d sleep on the floor instead, but Matty refused. Matty helped Gwen with the few belongings she brought with her, a few clothes and her teddy bear. Matty picked it up and examined it once more. It was the same one she brought to her when her father died.

“Her name’s Ganieda,” Gwen said quietly. Matty stared at the teddy, eyes wide.

“Ganieda, you say?” she croaked. Gwen nodded. Matty could see it now. The same large brown eyes, same patch on its left foot. It was the same teddy as the one she had back home. Merlin must have saved it and kept it with him ever since. It wouldn’t be difficult to maintain, not without magic. A tear slid from her eyes and rolled down her cheek. Her grandfather had been through so much, so many deaths, and nothing to remember them by, except one small teddy bear. “Matilda, are you okay?” Gwen asked, coming closer and holding her shoulder.

Matty wiped the tear and nodded. “Sorry, I had one similar back home.” She looked to Merlin before she could stop herself. Merlin’s eyes widened in understanding. He stood up and clasped his hands together.

“Who wants to build a snowman?”

 

*

 

They all wrapped up warm and made their way down to the courtyard. A few children ran past, red nosed and laughing. Merlin got started with the body whilst Gwen and Matty made a smaller head. They rolled it on over and plonked it on top of Merlin’s. Carrots were scarce at the moment, it being winter and all, so they used a cork instead for the nose and two black buttons for the eyes. Merlin added the twig arms, and their snowman was complete.

“What on earth are you doing?” said a droning voice. They all spun around to see Arthur and Morgana side by side.

“What does it look like they’re doing?” Morgana asked Arthur. “Clearly, they’re building a snowman.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s fun?” Matty said, confused. Honestly, why else would they be out in the freezing cold.

“It seems we have a different definition of fun,” Arthur scoffed. Matty rolled her eyes, he was intolerable sometimes. Arthur turned on his heel and began to walk away. Matty bent down and scooped up a pile of snow and made it into a ball, she compressed it and aimed before lobbing it at the prince. He froze, shoulders hunched, before turning around and frowning. Matty pointed at Merlin. As did Gwen and Morgana.

“It seems you’re more childish that I imagined, Merlin,” Arthur said.

“It wasn’t me,” Merlin laughed, astounded by the nerve of the girls.

“What’s that!?” Arthur shouted and pointed to the sky. They all turned to look at the gloomy clouds. Then, Matty felt something cold on her face. She looked to the ground in shock as the water dripped down her cheek. She then eyed Arthur who was glancing around the courtyard, as if he didn’t just throw a snowball at her.

“Oh, it’s war,” she said before lobbing another one. Soon enough the whole courtyard was dragged into a snowball fight. The children were loving it, their parents not so much. Laughter floated around the halls and danced across the entire castle. Matty noticed Gwen and Arthur catching each other’s eyes and smiling. Faint whispers of music could be heard from the tavern in the village and the cheering of the men soon followed. Matty imagined they were all in there to sit by the fireplace and stay warm, times were tough in the winter no matter where you lived. Unless you were the king or prince that is.

 

*

 

They headed back to the warmth of Gaius’s chambers and sat down for dinner; as there weren’t very many vegetables or fruits growing through the strong layer of snow, they were stuck with what provisions they stocked up on.

That night Gwen woke from a nightmare, the strike of lightning illuminated the room and the thunder cracked outside of their safe dwelling. The rain hammered on the window and Gwen began to cry. She always hated thunderstorms, ever since her mother died during one. Her father always comforted her during those times, but he wasn’t there anymore. But Matty was. She woke from the floor and looked around just as another bolt struck the earth. Gwen shuddered and sobbed. Matty stood up quickly and ran to her side, stroking her hair and shushing her.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” she whispered.

“Please sing to me. Anything, just don’t leave,” Gwen sobbed.

“Okay, lie back down, let me scootch on in.” Matty wrapped her arms around the scared girl and continued to stroke her hair as they lay together, the bed was warming, and Gwen was becoming sleepy again.

 

“Turn your face.

A new beginning awaits.

Let the sun shine on a brand new day,

And let the fear fade far on through.

Another night comes to an end,

A rainbow will guide you new.

The sun may set, but it will rise again,

The world will change.

But darling we'll stay the same.”

 

It was one she heard Hana’s parents sing to her when she had had a bad day. She thought of Hana’s mother then, how kind and caring she was to not just her daughter but to Matty too. She missed her dearly. Gwen’s sobs began to slow and eventually her deep breaths were all Matty could hear.

 

*

 

Merlin worked hard to help Matty understand her magic, they spent the whole of winter learning new spells. Some were hard, where it required tricky incantations, others were simple and she mastered them quickly. Then one day in late February, everything changed. The world was unbalancing, things were going wrong. Birds were falling from the sky, fish were blubbering onto land, Matty had blips where she couldn’t understand old english.

“What’s happening?” she asked Merlin.

“I don’t know,” he replied, unsure of himself. “Maybe we should see the dragon?” So, they did, they headed down the dark steps and into the darker cave. The dragon was nowhere to be found. Then a loud grumble reverberated throughout the cave and the dragon emerged. “Do you know what is happening?” Merlin asked it.

“Once again, my knowledge is not universal, Merlin. I know nothing more than you do.”

“If you can’t tell me, no one can.”

Matty’s head snapped up then. Arthur.

 

*

 

Present day

 

“Mægden duguð wildefýr beðerscan moor wið−uppon êow hwæðere wægn bêon recen ðâ!” Merlin bellowed for the second time in his life. The lightning came striking down into the earth and the remains of the tower spewed far and wide. There was nothing left but a hill with a scorch mark. For a while everything was quiet, the world had no noise. Then the chaos erupted. First the animals were affected: they ran into roads and trees and rivers. Then the plants: they decayed and grew weak or not at all.

Merlin watched as a baby fox ran into the lake, he hobbled towards it and dragged it out. Holding it by the scruff, he looked around. Everywhere was in shambles. There were deer sprinting in the middle of the road, hitting cars or houses, anything that was in their way. Birds were falling from the sky, landing with a horrifying splat. It was as if the very heart of the world was failing.

The people hurried out of their houses to watch, but when the lightning crashed once more in front of them, they screamed and retreated back into their homes. The rain was coming fast and the thunder rumbled throughout the ground. Merlin was unsure what was happening, but if the world was beginning to fail, then he would watch it burn. All the things it had thrown at him, all the horrible people he had met, all the wars, the famines, the hate. It had all been caused by mankind.

If the world is to fall then so be it, he thought, it means nothing to me anymore. 

Then the rain stopped and the clouds dispersed, leaving behind a sunny day. These phenomenon’s began to happen daily, coming and going like the breeze. Some days the world was so unbalanced that it caused an aeroplane to crash into the sea, there were no deaths, but there were injuries. Some days the sun scorched so hot on the earth that you couldn’t go outside without getting horrendous burns. Other days it was so cold, one touch of the snow and you’d blister.

Hana and Josie conspired together in Hana’s bedroom. After Josie had apologised and earned Hana’s trust, they soon became friends. Especially after Matty’s death.

“I’m telling you; Merlin knows what’s happened,” Josie said.

“Why on earth would he?” Hana looked exasperated.

“Just trust me, come on let’s go.” She grabbed Hana’s arm and dragged her off the bed and walked to Merlin’s house, just down the hill, past Old Lady Thornberry’s house and to the grave of Matty’s residence. They knocked on the door and there came no answer.

“He’s probably out stocking up on food, god knows when the next thing will happen.”

“Merlin!” Josie screamed, ignoring Hana. She banged on the door until it finally opened.

“What?” Merlin said gruffly before realising who it was. “Oh, Hana, Josie, what brings you here.”

“May we come in?” Josie asked.

Merlin looked behind him, the house was a mess. “Um, now really isn’t the best time.”

“Please, we won’t be long.” He nodded and let them inside. “Why don’t you just use magic?" Josie asked. Merlin was taken by surprise. Those same words were spoken by Arthur, after he told him who he was. But they were kinder today.

“What?”

“Magic. You’re Merlin.”

“Listen girls, I don’t know what you’re playing but I’d like you to leave now.” They tried to put up a fight but eventually Merlin won and saw them out.

“Told you,” Hana said.

Josie waved her off. “Yeah, yeah. I guess I better get home before dad wonders where I am.”

“Alright, see you soon.” Hana waved to her before turning the corner and walking back up the hill. But Josie snuck into the garden of Merlin’s house and opened the back door.

“Wha- I told you to leave,” Merlin said annoyed.

“I know you’re Merlin. Why are you hiding it?”

“Josie, I’ll ask you one more time to leave before I call the police.”

“I think they’re a bit preoccupied.” She grabbed the grapes from the fridge and popped one into her mouth, “Don’t you?”

Merlin sighed and sat at the table, motioning for her to join him. “Fine. I’m Merlin. So what.”

“Do you know what’s happening?” He stayed silent. “In America they’re having deadly tornadoes. In Japan the tsunamis are so high families have had to evacuate. In the UK, we’re having heat so drastic, pavements are melting. I think you know something.”

“Matty’s not coming back,” he snapped. “I only did what I should have done centuries ago.”

“But these people you’re hurting are innocent.”

“Do not tell me about innocence, child. I have been innocent, and I am done. The world has taken too many people from me. And the people left behind are not worth saving, look around you: wars, famine, all man made, all man's fault.”

“But we’re only human. We live, we learn.”

Merlin scoffed. “You don’t learn, none of you. War after war after war I have seen, you never learn.”

“Make it stop! Before someone you care about gets hurt.”

Merlin locked eyes with her, his eyes swimming with something dangerous. “There’s no one left to care about.”

Chapter 23: The First Clotpole

Summary:

merlin calls arthur a clotpole, matty tries to find her way home

Camelot

 

The storm was wild as she traversed the road towards the lake. The mud slithered up her boots and the lightning thrashed nearby, Matty whipped her head around to glance at the damage as she kept running, a low rumble soon followed.

The pitter patter of rain scattered across the lake, and she ran in without hesitation, going down and down and down until she hit the bottom. She opened her eyes, but Arthur was nowhere to be seen. Seconds passed and her lungs began to burn, this wasn’t meant to happen, Arthur was meant to be here, protecting her.

Arthur… she urged into the water. There was no answer. The water flowed around her, softly at first, guiding her along and along, then she was flung back, her hair covering her eyes, water bubbles escaping from her lips as she tried not to inhale. She was gliding through the silky water at an unimaginable speed, she forced her eyes shut and tried hard to think of any spells that would help, but the motion of dancing in the water was putting her off and she lost her concentration.

Then everything stilled, her mind was swirling but she opened her eyes, and Arthur was in front of her.

What just happened? she asked him.

“Things are being disrupted, something is happening in your world and it’s leaking into this one.”

What do you mean? What things? Arthur didn’t reply. Arthur!

He looked up at her. “Your grandfather, he’s disrupting the natural balance.” Matty furrowed her brows in confusion. “You’ve been gone for nearly three months Matilda.. He thinks the Sidhe took you. He thinks you’re really dead.”

Well… the Sidhe did take me, didn’t they?

“They didn’t think you’d be here for this long. They thought you would have wanted to go home quicker.”

Matty’s eyes darkened, she looked furious. I do! If you could just tell me-

“I cant!” Arthur said exasperated. “I’m not allowed, it breaks all rules, you have to do this yourself.”

I still don’t understand what I’m meant to be looking for?

Arthur rubbed his temples. “Your grandfather is tired; he is angry at the Sidhe and that is not a good thing. They have offered you a chance to help him once and only once. You find what it is you’re meant to be looking for and he can rest. It could be centuries until I return, I don’t think Merlin can take another century. Do you?”

Matty thought about the stories. Robin Hood. Tristian and Isolde. Gwen. Lancelot. Gwaine. Elyan. Percival. Gaius. His father. His mother. Then there were the other stories, about friends he met on the way who weren’t that of a children’s book. Freya. Gwen; his daughter, her mother. And all those that came before them.

No…

“Then help him. What you’re looking for is closer than you think.”

And with that, Matty was lifted to the surface. She coughed and spluttered up lake water and breathed deep. It’s closer than I think. She huffed and stood up; it could be anything still. She sat at the edge of the lake until she heard the screams. Glancing to the mighty castle, she saw smoke drifting up through the trees. She got to her feet and set off, following the screams. She made it to the lower town and the villagers were pushing past her, trying to get away.

A fire was raging from house to house, Matty watched with wide eyes as the flames grew higher and higher, climbing the already weak foundations. Her legs took her up the cobblestone and to Gwen’s house, coughing as the smoke caught in her lungs. More and more people pushed past her as she headed for her friend, she prayed Gwen was with Morgana in the castle. When she made it to the old blacksmiths, she was horrified. The outside was covered in flames, like ivy climbing the walls, but the door wasn’t taken yet.

“Gwen!” she called out. She shielded her eyes from the flames; the heat was almost unbearable. Almost. She ran inside without a second thought.  “Gwen!” she cried again. The world was red.

“Matilda?!” replied a croaky voice. Matty turned her head, but she couldn’t be sure where it came from.

“Where are you?!”

“I’m trapped in the washroom! Please help!”

Matty studied her surroundings, the fire was growing, and the heat was singeing her skin slightly. She closed her eyes and focused for any spell. A flame tickled her; she recoiled and hissed.

“Please!” Gwen sobbed.

“Okay,” Matty said to herself, reassuringly, “okay.

“It’s covering the door! I can’t get out!” Gwen screamed then and Matty sprang into action.

“Dæl onlicfrumsceaft hwælweg, blissian tôhwon geard!” she boomed. The fire seemed to obey her every move; it followed her hands and soon subsided. The world became cooler instantly and the smoke evaporated. Matty felt like passing out, but she made it to the charred door and tugged it open with such force it came off its hinges. Gwen was cowering in the corner, looking both relieved and fearful.

“What did you just do?” she whispered. But Matty didn’t reply. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she fell to the floor.

 

*

 

When she awoke she was back in Gaius’s chambers.

“I know what I heard and saw Gaius, do not pretend that you do not know.” Gwen’s voice was sharp but still calm.

“Perhaps it was your imagination, the fumes from the smoke must have caused hallucinations.”

“I am hurt that you diminish my mind Gaius.”

“Not at all-“

Matty coughed. They stopped arguing and looked over. Gwen went running to her side. “Are you okay?” she asked, genuinely worried. Matty smiled, Gwen must be bursting with questions, but her first priority was seeing if she as okay.

“I’m fine, how long was I out this time?”

“This time? It’s happened before?”

“A day,” Gaius said, coming towards her. “You got injured, but I’ve managed to control it.” Matty could feel the sting on her left side, she glanced down to see a small burn mark, red and raw but healing.

“You must have questions, Gwen,” she said to the girl. Gwen nodded. “Go ahead.”

“What happened? Did you use magic? How did you do it? What was it you said?”

“Woah,” Matty laughed. “One at a time. Yes I used magic. I don’t know how I did it. I also don’t know what I said. Sometimes it just happens.”

Gwen was silent, trying to process the fact her friend had magic. Magic which was evil, magic which was what aided her father’s murder. Magic which saved her life. “Thank you,” she said quietly. Matty smiled at her. “I- I thought magic was used for evil, but you’re not evil.”

Matty chuckled. “No, I’m not. Magic is not inherently evil, those who wield it have a choice: good, neutral, or evil. Everyone is so blinded by Uther’s hate for it that they cannot see the properties it has. I could heal someone when sick, hell, I could even rebuild every house that had burnt down. If I knew how,” she added. “This wasn’t something I chose, Gwen. I was born with magic, but it took me a very long time to realise. Please don’t tell anyone,” she spoke quietly

“My goodness, I wouldn’t. You saved my life. I am not Uther, I know it is not evil anymore. If there is anything you need, anything at all, please tell me. I owe you.

Matty waved her hand. “Nonsense, you do not owe me anything. I was just helping a friend.”

“What about Merlin? You’re twins, so does he have magic?”

Matty looked to Gaius who just raised a brow. “Oh, um. No. No, he doesn’t have magic.” She didn’t like lying to Gwen, but this was Merlin’s life, he couldn’t escape back to the future. If he wanted to tell Gwen, then he would, it wasn’t Matty’s place to.

The houses were slowly being rebuilt, it would take several months to get everything back to how it was, but the villagers banded together, and Uther even sent them a few supplies to help. Gwen’s house was the first to be completed, thanks to Matty’s help, a little magic here and there, and soon house after house became erect once again. The villagers lost a lot of their supplies and a handful lost their lives; sorcery was at the very centre of their whispers.

 

*

 

Arthur heard news that his horses had escaped their stables. He marched down there and saw Merlin asleep on the floor. He bent down, watching the boy breathe in and out, his face covered in horse dung, he was tempted to leave him there, let the dung seep into his skin, but he looked up and saw Matty watching. He coughed and Merlin stirred.

“Sire!” Merlin said as he looked up and saw an amused looking Arthur staring down at him. He stood and rubbed his head.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked him.

“Nothing,” he replied, dazed and confused.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I can see that.”

“I wasn’t sleeping. I was- I was just… bending down.” He looked to the ground as if it had all the answers. Arthur was nodding in sarcastic understanding.

“Looking for something?”

“Yes.”

“Perhaps we’re looking for the same thing.”

“What?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Arthur put his fingers to the bridge of his nose, clearly exasperated, before looking back up to his manservant, “the horses!”

Merlin glanced around, still half asleep. “The hor-ses. Oh!” His head was turning left and right trying to find them, but to no avail.

“One mistake I can understand. Everyone has a bad day now and then, but this is one thing after another!”

“I- I don’t know what happened!” Merlin raised his hands to his head, Matty tried not to laugh as she watched her grandfather become extremely confused. Then Cedric walked back into the stables and Matty’s laughter went away.

“Sire,” he said, “Please, sire, don’t be too hard on him. He’s a good servant, he’s just… he’s tired.

“I am not,” Merlin protested, unsuccessfully.

“Maybe…” Cedric took a step closer, “maybe if he had the evening off…”

“I don’t want the evening off.”

“A good nights rest…”

“I did not fall asleep!” Merlin was getting frustrated, Matty could tell, perhaps she should intervene, tell Arthur what really happened.

“I’m more than willing to take over his duties tonight.” Matty decided Cedric was like a cockroach, always where you didn’t want them to be, which was everywhere.

Arthur seemed to ponder what has been said. “Perhaps you’re right.”

“No,” Merlin interjected.

“Shut up, Merlin.”

“Can’t you see what he’s trying to do? He’s trying to get rid of me, and if you weren’t such a clotpole you’d see that!” Everything went silent in the stables; everyone was trying to figure out what Merlin had said. Matty was the only one who chuckled.

“A what?” Arthur looked utterly baffled. He had been called many things in his life, but a clot-pole was definitely not one of them. Merlin seemed be just as confused as Arthur.

Cedric stepped forward. “Clotpole. He- he said clotpole.”

Arthur inhaled, “Cedric’s right. He can look after me tonight. You can go home and think about whether you want to be my servant or not.

“But…”

“Go.”

Merlin looked at Arthur with such betrayal. After all they’d been though, Arthur still didn’t trust him.

“He’s telling the truth, he really didn’t fall asleep,” Matty said stepping forward. “I saw it all, Cedric was the one who released the horses, he want’s Merlin’s job.”

Arthur turned to the man. “Is that true? You released the horses?”

“No sire, I saw the commotion and came here straight away. Merlin was already on the floor by the time I got here, in fact, she was here before me.”

Matty couldn’t believe the audacity this man had, not only to lie, but to the prince. This would be a good test of Arthur’s loyalty. If he believed her then all would be well, but if he believed Cedric…

“Cedric has been nothing but helpful, I doubt he’d do something like that,” Arthur said.

“Are you really believing him over us?” Matty spat.

“No… I’m just stating what I’ve seen. Both of you go home, now, I’ll deal with Cedric.”

“You’re unbelievable, Arthur Pendragon.” She grabbed Merlin’s arm and marched out of the stables muttering, “believing some random guy over your own servant. Some friend you are.”

Arthur in fact got rid of Cedric, he believed Matty but he could hardly say that in front of her and Merlin. He’s a prince, he has to keep his dignity. Matty finally changed something, even when she didn’t mean to. Cedric did not get the keys; the city was safe from Cornelius Siegan.

Notes:

Dæl onlicfrumsceaft hwælweg, blissian tôhwon geard = Part like the sea, spare this land
https://www.oldenglishtranslator.co.uk/ - thats the website i use for these translations.

Chapter 24: The Witchfinder

Summary:

Aredian comes to town

Merlin’s birthday rolled around, which meant so did Matty’s. After helping Gaius, she went to the markets with Morgana and Gwen and searched the stalls. The winters sun was still beaming down on them, but they were only a few days from the daffodils blooming and the bees buzzing about. She could already smell spring, fresh and pure, like fallen snow. Morgana bought her a new dress and insisted on her wearing it later this evening to their girls meal. Matty swore she couldn’t accept something as lovely as that dress but Morgana would hear no more. Gwen bought her a beautiful hair pin, it had a blue butterfly on it and was gorgeous. Matty shone with love and friendship, she had energy glowing inside her veins and this time it was not magic. Love was a vibrant thing, it came in all shapes and sizes and Matty’s veins were full of it right here, right now.

They girls meal consisted of heading to Morgana’s chambers and feasting on the floor on a blanket. The girls meal also consisted of Merlin. Morgana went all out and ordered half of the kitchen. Pastries and tarts covered the floor, along with meat and cheese and apples and pears. There was so much, Matty didn’t know where to begin. Her new dress was a peachy pink colour and it had beautiful delicate lace traveling down it, she was sure it was very expensive, but if you’re the daughter of the king that wasn’t a problem. Morgana gave Merlin a new leather journal and Gwen gave him a quill and a pot of ink. He thanked them profusely and the feast carried on.

 

*

 

The night became bright and new days followed. Soon Morgana was standing in Gaius’s chambers talking to Merlin. Matty was behind the door in their room listening.

“I’m scared, Merlin. I don’t understand anything anymore. I need to know what’s happening. Please.” Just hearing her begging like that made Matty’s heart break.

“Gaius will be back soon. He’ll be able to help you,” Merlin said.

“He won’t. I don’t want any more remedies. They won’t do any good. It’s magic, Merlin,” she said so quietly, so afraid, but Matty heard.

“Wh-at?”

“I’m your friend, you know I wouldn’t make this up.”

“Of course,” Merlin said cautiously.

“Then you believe me? You think it’s magic too?” Merlin didn’t reply. “Please Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it, so I don’t have to keep feeling like I’m imagining it.”

His response took a minute, and it made Matty groan. “I really wish there was something I could say.” Morgana began to back away. “Morgana. Morgana, wait!”

It was now or never for Matty, this was a key point in Morgana’s decision. Matty stood up and swung the door open. “Morgana! I can help!” The girl stopped and glanced at Matty.

“How?”

“Because I have magic too. I know how you feel, alone, scared, hateful. You don’t know what to do because you are the kings daughter.”

“Ward,” she corrected.

Oh shit. “Yes, sorry. Ward.” She glanced quickly to Merlin who furrowed his brows. “You more than anyone have the right to be terrified, but you must remember that it is Uther’s hate of magic that has caused all the bad things to happen. It is because of his cold heart, not because of your gold one.”

“You have magic too?” she whispered.

“I do.” She closed her hand and flashed her eyes, whispering into it, when she opened it, on her palm was a purple flower. “See, magic can be used for good, you have a choice to make here today. I want you to always remember you have a choice.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

Merlin told her about the Druids and the king thought she had been kidnapped so a search party was set about to bring her home. Merlin travelled to the camp to warn her and everyone made it home safe.

After both Gwen and Morgana finding out about Matty’s magic, they all got up to mischief. The feast of Beltane was soon upon them and Matty was unfortunately sat next to Sir Maleagant again, but Morgana soon whisked her away. They watched from afar as the knight searched the room for his next target.

“Can you make him spill his drink on himself?” Morgana sked quietly.

Matty grinned and her eyes flashed gold. Maleagant lost control of his goblet and the blood red wine tipped down his regal clothes. He swore under his breath and glanced around to check no one saw. When he looked at Matty and her friends they all went into deep conversation, trying very hard not to giggle. All five of them snuck down to the lower town once again to celebrate with the people. Matty met Liliwen and embraced her harder than ever.

“Wots that for?” Liliwen asked.

“I just haven’t seen you in a while, I missed you,” Matty smiled, hugging her again.

“Sêað, êow wiste yonderinfindan me,” Liliwen grinned. Well, you know where to find me

Matty’s brain stopped working. “What?”

“Yfel wiðgýnan êow wiste yonderinfindan me.” I say, you know where to find me.

Matty looked at Merlin who was talking with Gwen. He looked up and caught her eye, saw how panicked she had become and walked over.

“Are you OK?”

Matty sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m fine.” Liliwen gave her a look which indicated that she didn’t quite believe her but she didn’t say push. “What was it you said?”

“I say, you know where to find me,” she said for a third time, sounding annoyed.

“Right, yes, of course.” Then the drums sounded around the village and they all looked over to the bonfire which people had begun to dance around. Matty wished for Merlin to find peace until she came home.

Then Uther married a troll. Matty couldn’t stop laughing when Merlin told her that a Lady Catrina was here visiting.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough,” she slapped his back and went back to work, bending over the potion bench, chuckling to herself. Merlin looked to Gaius but he just shrugged.

“Uther’s marrying a troll,” Merlin said a few days later.

“I told you you’d find out,” Matty chuckled.

“My life must be so interesting to you,” he laughed.

“It’s definitely amusing to say the least.”

 

*

 

Matty and Merlin were up in the hills collecting firewood for Gaius, the day was new and Merlin had chores to do but he insisted on coming with her.

“We never spend enough time together. Arthur’s always got me doing this, that, or the other.”

“I’ve offered to help with your workload,” Matty pointed out.

“But that’s not your job.” Merlin tripped and dropped some of the logs. He looked up at Matty with an unamused look which made her laugh. They headed to a fallen tree and sat on it, looking out to Camelot. It was so pretty, Matty knew she’d miss this view once she went back. She looked around and saw green for miles and miles, not a road, car, aeroplane, building in sight. Only Camelot. There was smoke coming up from the forest and Merlin stuck out his hand uttering a few words and soon enough the smoke had changed into a horse. Matty looked in awe until she realised what this meant.

“Stop. Make it go!”

“What why?”

“I didn’t realise this was now. It’s too late, I’m sure she’s seen it by now.” As on cue, a woman came scrambling over the twigs and leaves to them, grabbing Merlin’s arm.

“Did you see it? The smoke, did you see it?” she frantically said.

Merlin looked to Matty who gave him a wry smile.

“No, I saw nothing.”

“Are you blind? You were right here! It was magic I tell you. There’s sorcery here. We must tell the king.”

She ran off toward the castle, leaving Merlin stuttering. “N-No! W-wait!” But she had gone.

“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry,” Matty grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it. “I’ll figure it out.”

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to make you something pretty.”

“Oh Merlin,” she pulled him into a hug. “I love you, gramps.”

He pulled back. “Oi.” He raised his eyebrows then laughed. “Come on then, I guess we’ll be asked to testify.”

“Ehhh, something like that.”

 

*

 

A few days later, the witchfinder arrived. He was a scary looking man, a sharp nose and a strong gaze. His hat was frankly ridiculous in Matty’s opinion. In fact, the whole thing was ridiculous, and she let it known how she felt. She was walking with Gaius and Merlin through the village when they were stopped.

“Gaius, isn’t it? I never forget a face.” They all looked up.

“Nor I, Aredian.” Gaius said, lifting his head up.

Aredian inspected him like a bug. “A physician now I hear. You always did have a thirst for knowledge.

“Scientific knowledge,” Gaius corrected.

Aredian grinned. “Of course.” He glanced between Merlin and Matty.

“My niece and nephew, Matilda and Merlin.” Over the past year, Gaius has found it easier to call them his niece and nephew instead of ‘Merlin and his granddaughter from the future.”

“Twins?” Aredian asked. They both nodded. “A strange phenomenon, too close to magic.”

Matty pulled a face. “Not really, the egg just splits and out come two.”

“You seem to know a lot.” It sounded to Matty as if Aredian was accusing her of something. She forgot if you were a woman and clever, you were a witch.

“I pick things up along the way, since my uncle is the court physician.”

“May your investigation prove fruitful, Aredian,” Gaius said, interrupting before Matty could say anything else to incriminate herself.  “However, you’ll have to excuse us, we have work to do.”

“Naturally.” He stepped aside to let them pass. “Merlin, Matilda?” They turned back to him. “I have a few questions I would like you to answer. Please be at my chambers in an hour.” They nodded and turned back.

“Don’t worry, just say you didn’t see anything because we were collecting firewood,” Matty whispered to him.

An hour later and they knocked on Aredian’s door. He answered and ushered only Matty inside.

“You are aware then, that sorcery has been practiced in the vicinity of Camelot?”

“Apparently,” Matty replied.

“No, no, it cannot be denied. There was a witness.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Do you also know that the woman has named you and your brother as a witness?”

“I assumed she would, we were there.”

“I’ve already spoken to her. She was quite clear on the matter.”

“We weren’t really witnesses though.”

“Oh, sorry. Perhaps I misheard.” He looked down at his notes and shuffled them. “Do you deny that you were present at the time of the incident?”

“No, we were there.”

“Well, so you saw it, the horse conjured from the smoke?”

“We were there collecting firewood for Gaius, we weren’t looking at the smoke. When we did look at the smoke, that’s all it was; smoke.”

“Are you saying that she lies?”

“I didn’t say that. I said we didn’t see what she saw.”

“Hmm. Well, how can that be, I wonder? How can one person see something and the other not?”

“Probably because we were collecting firewood and not looking at the smoke, like I just said.”

“Unless it was you who performed the magic.”

Matty rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t.”

“Can you prove that?”

“No, can you prove that it was?”

“That’ll be all.” Matty stood up to leave. “For now. Let your brother in.”

 

*

 

“He’s terrifying,” Merlin said later that day. They were all summoned to court to hear the verdict of Aredian’s interogations.

“Speak, do not be afraid,” he said to a woman.

“I… I was drawing water from the well, sire, when I saw them: faces in the water. Terrible faces, like people who were drowned, screaming. Screaming,” she whispered the last word.

“Tell them what you saw,” he said to the next girl.

“A goblin dancing on the coals. It was dancing in the flames, and it spoke, sire. My heart near stopped for fear of it.”

“As you’ve heard, my lord, the incident in the woods was only the beginning.” He walked to the final girl.

“There was a sorcerer, sire, in the square. There were creatures jumping right out of his mouth.”

“And what manner of creature?”

“Toads, sire. Great green, slimy things as big as your fist,” the girl winced.

“The sorcerer laughs in your face. Even now magic flourishes on the streets of Camelot.”

Uther sat back in his chair. “I can scarcely believe it.”

“Yet it is the truth, my lord. Fortunately, I’ve utilised every facet of my craft to bring this matter to a swift resolution.”

Uther sat up straight. “The sorcerer, you have a suspect?”

“Oh, I do, my lord. I regret to say, they stand among us in this very room.” Mutters were heard across the hall. Matty’s stomach dropped, she looked to Morgana who looked like she was about to throw up. “My methods are infallible, my findings incontestable! The facts point to two people and two people alone: the twins, Matilda and Merlin!”

“Merlin? You can’t be serious.” Arthur said, looking like the idea of Merlin being a sorcerer was completely preposterous. Matty couldn’t help but notice he didn’t say her name, perhaps he wasn’t surprised.

“This is outrageous! You have no evidence!” Gaius cursed.

“The tools of magic cannot be hidden from me. I am certain that a thorough search of their chamber will deliver us all we need.”

Uther stood up. “Merlin? Matilda?

“We have nothing to hide from him,” Merlin said, though his voice shook slightly.

“Very well. Guards, restrain them. Let the search begin.” The guards came from every angle and held tightly on to them, dragging them to their chambers.

Once inside Merlin and Matty looked to each other, Matty winked. The guards were ripping the place to shreds, every book was being flung off the shelf, all the papers both Matty and Gaius had been working on were swiped to the floor.

“Careful, please! That’s my life work!” Gaius said.

“Comb every inch. The sorcerer is a master of concealment.”

Arthur came over to stand next to them. “There’s nothing here, Aredian!”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Over there behind this tapestry,” he ordered one of the guards. “In there, upend that stool. Be sure to check for hollow legs. In there within those powder jars.”

Leon was the one to take on the powder jars, he searched each one of them thoroughly, not smashing them like the other’s seemed to be so hell bent on doing. “There’s nothing here,” Leon said.

“Or here,” said the guard with the stool.

Aredian marched over to Leon and began smashing the jars, powder spilled out of all of them, but there was nothing magical. Matty could see Aredian’s confusion, where was the amulet he planted? He glared at Matty.

“There’s nothing here,” Arthur said again.

“They’ve hidden it somehow,” he said.

“Hidden what?” Matty asked.

Aredian could see he wasn’t in the position to declare there was supposed to be an amulet in one of those jars, so he stayed silent. He waltzed out of the door, his coat floating behind him as he swished it.

“I’m sorry Gaius, I’ll get someone to clear up in here,” Arthur said to him before leaving.

“What happened?” Gaius asked Matty who grinned.

“He planted an amulet in one of those jars, but thanks to Merlin telling me this story, I was able to get rid of it.”

“But how? You’ve been with me all day.”

“A magician never reveals her secrets,” Matty planted a finger on her nose and laughed at the joke. But Gaius was not laughing. “Alright, I had a friend come get it.”

“Who?”

“Liliwen.”

“Does she know about you?”

“Not really, I just said someone was going to blame us for something and that she needed to get the amulet out of the chambers before he came looking for it.”

“But won’t she ask questions about why you had it in the first place?” Merlin asked.

“If she does I’ll tell her the truth. That I have magic but the amulet isn’t mine.”

“So irresponsible!” Gaius reprimanded. “How do you know if you can trust this girl?”

“Because I know who she is. Trust me, she won’t tell. She’s my Lancelot.”

“Very well then, but if this backfires, I will be there to say: I told you so.”

Chapter 25: Ears Of the Innocent

The Lady Morgana was pacing her room, since Matty was now free to go, she called her to her chambers.

“He knew,” she said to Matty as soon as she entered. “What if he finds out I have magic too?”

“Woah, Morgana, calm down.” Matty placed her hands on Morgana’s shoulders and told her to breathe. “Don’t worry, he didn’t find anything incriminating with me and he certainly won’t with you. He’s a fraud Morgana, he planted an amulet in our room, if I didn’t see him doing it, things would have gone very differently. I managed to remove it, you should have seen his face when he saw it wasn’t there. We just need to find a way to make sure he doesn’t go any further, we need to outsmart him.”

“But those people? The women who claimed to see all these things?”

“I’m not sure yet, but he made them say those things. Trust me, he will not hurt you.”

Matty headed back to Gaius’ chambers and saw the old man still picking up some of his belongings. “Gaius, Aredian is using something to make those women see those things.”

“That’s a wild accusation, how can you be so sure?”

Matty stared at him. “Because I know how this happens, Gaius, remember? I’m from the future and all that.”

“Yes, I know. But we can’t say that to the king can we. We need concrete evidence, so give me some.”

“Oh, right. Yes. Of course.” Matty racked her brain to try and remember the story. But before she could come up with an answer, the door slammed open and two guards came waltzing in. They headed for Gaius and seized him. “What are you doing!” Matty screamed, trying to get their hands off him.

“By order of the king!” one guard said, practically dragging Gaius out of his chambers. Gaius was brought to the dungeons and thrown in without a second thought. Aredian came to the bars and stared at him, a smug grin tugged at his lips.

“Why am I here, Aredian?” Gaius spoke.

“Because you have been found of using enchantments and sorcery.”

“Nonsense,” Gaius spat, getting to his feet.

“Time for you to confess.”

“There is nothing to confess.”

“No? Then what’s this I found?” He held up a book of magic spells. Merlin’s book of magic spells. “Under the very floorboards of your niece and nephew's bedroom.”

Gaius took a step back and raised his head. “That book is old, it has not been touched in many years.”

“Perhaps, but it’s still a book of sorcery. Uther was very upset to hear that his court physician kept an illegal book.”

“It’s a relic from the past, a keepsake.”

“But such artifacts are banned on pain of death. Surely, you must know this?”

“I was wrong to have kept it. I’m grievously sorry for it.”

Aredian paced the outside of the cells. “Well that’s a good start. It’s an excellent start, but not nearly enough, I’m afraid.

“Aredian…”

“I’ll be back,” he said marching off into the distance.

 

*

 

“Gaius, what’s happening?” Merlin said as they watched him from outside the bars, like he was some kind of vicious animal.

“Don’t say anything. Aredian found the book. I have said it’s mine and only mine. A relic from the past.”

“How did he find it?”

“He must have been looking when we were all out, he knew I took the amulet out of the jar, he was probably there to plant something else when he found it. I’m sorry Gaius, it’s all my fault.” Matty’s face was forlorn.

“Don’t be silly, child. Aredian is a nasty man, he doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants.”

“Then we have to be quick.”

 

*

 

The next day brought rain and dark skies, a fitting atmosphere for Aredian’s work. Gaius was dragged to the witchfinder’s room and forced to sit.

“Was your conscience clear when you practiced magic in the days of the Great Purge?” he asked.

“I have not used magic for many years.”

Gaius was famished and dehydrated, he felt like a pile of dry ash. The questions went on for days.

“…that your assistant keeps instruments of sorcery?”

“It belongs to me.”

“…so if someone else were to practice magic?

“No!”

“…you’re an enemy of this kingdom, you’re an enemy of your king!”

“No. My conscience is clear.” His voice was horse and hurt terribly. “I’d like a drink of water, please.”

Aredian grinned a vile toothy grin. “And you shall have one, when you’ve confessed.”

“Then I shall die of thirst, Aredian.”

The witchfinder just shrugged and walked away.

“You’re a traitor! You’re an impostor! Sorcery is your only master.”

“I serve only my king.”

Aeridean walked behind him and scoffed. “Ha! In what way have you served him? You’ve lied to him. You’ve broken his laws. You’ve betrayed his trust.”

With a spurt of energy, Gaius spat back. “I’ve saved his life. I’ve treated his ward. I’ve protected his only son.”

Aredian frowned. “You’ve treated his ward?”

“I have striven to help all those in need. It is a physician’s duty to do so.”

“The Lady Morgana?”

“Among others.” He wasn’t sure why the witch hunter was so surprised. He was a physician after all, it was his job to treat people.

“For what malady does she receive this treatment?”

“She-“ Oh, he understands now. “She suffers from nightmares.”

“I see.”

“And as I said, I feel it is my duty to attend the needs-“

“Yes, yes. You seem very keen to change the subject, Gaius. Perhaps I should question her myself.”

 

*

 

That evening a guard knocked on Morgana’s chambers, requesting that she see the witchfinder right away. She walked with knobbly knees to the door and lightly tapped.

“Enter,” said the harsh voice. She slowly opened the door and stepped inside. “There’s no need to be concerned, my lady. I won’t detain you long. There’s just a small detail I wish to clarify. Now, it’s true, is it not, that you have received treatment for nightmares?”

Morgana tried to speak but her voice could not be found. So, she nodded.

“And it was Gaius, the court physician, who administered these treatments? These potions?”

“Yes,” she whispered unintentionally.

“I’m sorry could you speak up?”

“Yes,” she said louder.

“Thank you. Now you may go.” The relief in her face was evident as she stood up to leave. But as she opened the door Aredian spoke again. “You don’t happen to know what was in these potions, I suppose?”

“Oh, no.”

“No. No, of course not. You’re not a physician, after all. So, for all you know, these potions could have been magical, your dreams the product of an enchanted elixir.”

Morgana frowned. “Oh, I had these dreamed before Gaius started treating me.

“But these dreams, have they got better or worse since Gaius began treating you?”

She hesitated. “Worse.”

“As I thought. Thank you. You’ve been most helpful.”

 

*

 

Gaius felt a slight pinch against his wrist, he was so tired, so thirsty, so hungry. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He laid there on the hard floor, wishing it to be over.

“Gaius.” He heard the witchfinder stay. “Are you prepared to confess?”

“I’d rather die first,” he croaked out.

Aredian grinned. “Good. And die you shall. But not alone, I’m pleased to say. You shall have company.

His eyes shot open, and he raise his head off the ground slightly. “What?

“Merlin, Matilda and the Lady Morgana are to join you in the flames.

Gaius’ heart stopped. “No. This is a trick!”

Aredian shook his slimy head. “Mm-Mmm. You’ve corrupted them, Gaius, and they must answer to their king…” He hesitated, eyeing Gaius like he was nothing but an inconvenience. “Unless.”

“Unless what?”

 

*

 

The sound of Gaius’s fragile knees hitting the hard floor of the council chambers made Merlin stiffen. How dare Aredian treat an old man this way, how dare he toss him to the floor as if he is nothing. Matty gripped his hand and held it tight, squeezing it, telling him it will be OK. But she wasn’t sure that it would be.

“Confess! Confess!” Aredian’s voice echoed around the hall.

Matty’s heart broke as she heard the breaking of Gaius’s small voice. “I... I am a sorcerer, Sire. I am responsible for conjuring the smoke. I am guilty of practicing magic in Camelot, the goblin, the faces in the wall, I... I am the sorcerer who conjured the toad from his mouth.”

Gasps came from the hall. Matty looked at Morgana who was staring at her with worry, but Arthur had his eyes on his manservant, Matty thought she saw tears in his eyes, perhaps it was just the light.

Uther stood up, a look of disgust crossed his face before recovering himself and speaking.  “You’ve betrayed me, Gaius,” he said calmly. “Betrayed your friends. And all above, you've betrayed yourself. By the laws of Camelot, I must-” he faltered, looking away from Gaius, his friend. “I must sentence you to death.”

Aredian’s face coiled into a grin. “The sorcerer will be purged of his magic by means of fire!” Matty heard Gwen let out a small whimper. “He shall be burnt at the stake tomorrow at dawn! Bear witness and heed this lesson!”

The guards were there within seconds, dragging Gaius away. Matty could feel Merlin start to shake, he burst through to the centre and charged at Aredian. “You’re a liar!” he shouted. Arthur’s quick to action and stood up, restraining Merlin and dragging him from the room. “You’re a liar!” he shouted again. The guards advanced but Arthur shook his head.

“I’ll deal with this.” Matty followed them, watching as Arthur dragged Merlin by the scruff of his jacket. Down and down they went to the dungeons, Arthur finally let him go and Merlin took the opportunity to take a swing at him. His fist went full force towards Arthur’s head, but the prince merely sighed and grabbed his hand, twisting it behind Merlin’s back. It felt like deja vu to Matty. Merlin let out a cry. “I know you’re angry, I know you’re upset. It’s alright. I’m not throwing you in jail,” Arthur said.

“Then what are you doing?” Merlin gritted his teeth.

Arthur let him go with a push. “Breaking the law.” He opened Gaius’s cell. “I can only give you a few minutes.”

They entered the dark jail and it felt like all the happiness had been drained from them, there was something eerie about these cells. They already knew the amulet was planted, they just had to find a way to prove it. Matty was still thinking hard about how her grandfather had told this story. Gaius told them not to do anything stupid and to keep their heads down, there was nothing that could be done for him. But they had to try, they had to.

 

*

 

Once they arrived back at their chambers, they saw Gwen waiting for them. “The witchfinder’s questioning Morgana again, they won't let her go. She’s close to breaking point!”

“Yeah, that's what he does. He breaks you down and in the end you confess whether you’re guilty or not,” Merlin seethed.

Gwen furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

“Gaius was set up,” Matty said.

“But why would he do such a thing?”

“Aredian is paid to catch sorcerers. Maybe he doesn’t care whether someone is guilty or not. Maybe he gets confessions by lying, by planting evidence, just as long as he gets a confession, he gets his money.” Merlin seethed.

“Belladonna!” Matty shouted. Of course, how could she have forgotten? “Merlin, you need to check his chambers, I’m sure you’ll find Belladonna there!”

So they went, Gwen kept guard whilst the twins entered the witchfinder's chambers. They were pristine and everything was perfectly placed, if they were to mess one thing up, they were sure Aredian would know. Whilst they were looking for the petals, Matty found Merlin’s spell book under the bed, along with several others. They were able to sneak in and out undisturbed and they ran back to their chambers. Merlin took one of Gaius’s books from the shelf and started to flip through it, stopping when he found Belladonna.

“Under certain conditions, a tincture of the flower can produce hallucinations. Aredian’s witnesses. It wasn’t magic they were seeing; it was visions.”

Gwen nodded. “It makes sense, if he’s faking the evidence. But how can we prove it?”

“The witnesses must have gotten it from someone else, Aredians too clever to give it to them directly.”

“The apothecary,” Matty said. “They were all women, and what would women buy?” Merlin shrugged and shook his head.

“Things to make them look beautiful!” Gwen finished.

They put their cloaks on and ran through the lower town, the moon was out and shining brightly, guiding them on their way. Gwen knocked on the door of the Apothecary and an old man who was clearly getting ready for bed answered.

“Gwen?” They entered without consent and waited for the old man.

“Do you sell a tincture of Belladonna?” Gwen asked.

“What’s this about?”

“Please, it’s important.”

The man looked sceptical but he led them through a curtain and into his shop. His candle was illuminating their surroundings, Matty saw pots and potions on shelves and a few books scattered around the place with pieces of parchment and ink next to them.

“Well, I- I think I’ve got some somewhere, but what you’d be wanting with eye drops in the middle of the night, I really don’t want to know.” He reached for a shelf and produced a small tincture of Belladonna. “Women use them to make their eyes more beautiful.”

“Where did you get this?” Merlin asked him.

The man shifted slightly. “Well, my usual suppliers.” He wouldn’t meet their eyes, however.

“Sure you didn’t get it from someone else?”

The man finally locked eyes with Merlin, looking rather perturbed with the whole experience.

“Of course I’m sure. If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to get some sleep.”

 

*

 

Merlin broke into Aredian’s chambers in the early hours of the morning and put a little spell on him, if Aredian wanted to play these games then he chose the wrong person. No one messes with Gaius.

Dawn broke through the tiny barred window of Gaius’s cell, his thinning face took the sunlight in. He had to hope Merlin and Matty would be OK without him, that they’d find a way to get her home safely. His family.

The guards came and took him away.

The drums were banging on and on and on, pounding into the ears of the innocent.

Gaius was limping; so frail, so tired.

The people were anticipative.

Then Arthur appeared, Gwen at his side.

He called for another hearing.

They searched Aredian’s chambers and found the stash of magic books, the amulets. He threw up toads befire falling out of the window. A rather fitting end.

Gaius hugged, Merlin, Matty, Gwen, and even Arthur. His family.