Ninja's Guide of Babysitting a High Dragon-Oni

by Hopliln

Summary:

Lloyd gets high, and they watch a movie series. That's it. That's the fic.

Not really set at a certain point.

It was supposed to be their day off, but no, they just had to help chase down some thief that stole an obnoxiously large bag of unidentified contents. The ninja kept track of said thief while Lloyd was right on the thief’s tail. It wasn’t long before they had them cornered in a small alleyway. 

 

“Lloyd, be careful, we don’t know what’s in that bag.” Kai’s voice rang with concern. 

 

“Kai, how much harm can-” Lloyd got cut off by the bag being slammed into him and ripping. The contents of the bag now covered him head to toe. The other ninja quickly went to his side accidentally allowing the thief to flee.

 

“The money ain’t worth this!” the thief’s voice drifted as they took advantage of their impromptu distraction.

 

“We were chasing a thief over a bag of plants?” Jay and the other ninja got a good look at what were the contents of the bag, dark purple ferns with rainbow colored tips that might shrivel easily from almost any slight crush by the way they were scattered all over the green ninja.

 

“Guys, I’m fine. These leaves just feel very sticky.” Lloyd used his hands to try to wipe off the leaves that were threatening to go into his eyes, which only made it worse.

 

“We had no way of knowing what was in the bag. It could have been dangerous.” Cole calmingly scolded him as he had helped Lloyd up.

 

“At least it was only plants. We should be heading back before this starts to itch.” Lloyd tried to instead get the leaves off his clothes but he wasn’t succeeding in that either.

 

The walk back was pretty nice so far. The streetlights starting up with the sun going down. The bands playing their covers in some open-windowed bars with bouncers leaning at the entrances. Lloyd however, was starting to sway, causing the other ninja to notice.

 

“Lloyd, are you alright?” Zane was the first to say anything. 

 

“Huh?” Lloyd was starting to trip over his own feet.

 

“Lloyd. Lloyd, stop for a second.” Kai had grabbed the back of the shirt he was wearing and lightly tugged on it, getting them to stop walking before he could fall.

 

Lloyd clumsily sits on the ground off to the side. The others quickly semi-circled around in front of him while still out of the way of the main sidewalk. Jay pulled a flashlight from his pocket and handed it to Zane, who proceeded to use it to get a proper look at his face. Lloyd’s pupils were dilated while the whites of them were red.

 

“What the fuck?” Jay squinted at the Dragon-Oni’s eyes.

 

“Language.” Cole scolded Jay, his face showing his worry. Lloyd managed to successfully stand up only to promptly fall soon after.

 

“Alright. Lloyd, you just lost walking privileges.” Kai picked up Lloyd and slung him over his shoulder. Lloyd was too out of it to protest. They continued walking, ignoring the looks as they went on.

 

—--------------------------

 

“Sensei, we’re back!” Cole was the first to walk through the door and announce their return.

 

“Welcome ba- What happened?” Wu interrupted himself to ask upon seeing his nephew covered in the plants, being slung over Kai’s shoulder.

 

“We were chasing a thief and we had him cornered until they threw the bag at Lloyd!” Jay quickly explained.

 

“The thief got away. Lloyd was fine until a few blocks down.” Zane finished, Kai looked like he was about to drop Lloyd, the leaves all severely shriveled. Kai walked over to the couch, laying Lloyd down.

 

“All the leaves shriveled up now.” Kai gripped his own shoulder, rubbing it from having to carry the Dragon- Oni on his shoulder the entire way there.

 

“How did they look before… This?” Wu gestured to Lloyd, concerned.

 

“Dark purple ferns with rainbow tips and most of it shriveled as soon as it got onto Lloyd.” Zane described.

 

“How much got on him. How much got onto all of you?” Wu asked, more worryingly.

 

“It was only Lloyd until I had to start carrying him, other than that no one else was affected.” Kai recalled.

 

“Good. Both of you take a shower, you may have to help Lloyd. The rest of you, leave no trace of the Lilac Oniweed.” Wu commanded with urgency.

 

“Oh no, I’m not carrying him anymore than I have to! My shoulder still hurts!” Kai argued.

 

“I’m more than capable of taking a shower myself.” Lloyd slurred his speech as he managed to get up from the couch and clumsily to the bathroom.

 

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t fall at least.” Kai sighed as he grabbed them some towels and ran after him muttering something about a binder.

 

“Now that that’s out of the way, should we start with vacuuming?” Cole asked the remaining two ninja.

 

—--------------------------

 

A decent cleaning and several long showers later the ninja were wondering what to do while Lloyd was still sobering up.

 

“Guys I have an idea, can we binge a random show or movie and have like popcorn and soda?” Jay suggested, though he did sound a bit tired.

 

“Sleepover in the living room too? Because we don’t know when it’s getting out of Lloyd’s system.” Cole added on to which the others agreed.

 

Kai grabbed the remote and scrolled through the channels, quickly finding one that had plenty of seasons to watch while Zane went to the kitchen to grab a bunch of snacks. Jay sat on the far side of the couch, eyes glued to the screen. The front door opened and closed as Nya and Pixal walked through the entryway.

 

“Hey Nya. Hey Pixal, hope you both had a less eventful day then us.” Kai casually greeted the girls.

 

“Hey.” Lloyd slurred out before his head lightly tapped on the back of the couch.

 

“What happened to Lloyd?” Nya ignored her older brother to question the younger one’s well being.

 

“Thief had a bag of Lilac Oniweed and threw it at Lloyd as a distraction.” Cole explained, he was seated on the floor.

 

“Sensei didn’t explain to us what Lilac Oniweed was.” Jay recalled, Nya couldn’t help but look at her partner with slight worry.

 

“Lilac Oniweed, scientific name Isponna Ageajus, is a plant rumored to incapacitate Onis and make them more passive. They were commonly used to help with headaches and still are in some places.” Pixal read from her database.

 

“Demon weed got it.” Kai looked back at the tv.

 

“That is certainly one way to say it.” Zane came in with popcorn, tortilla chips, queso, and sodas all balanced on his arms before Cole had to get up and help him.

 

“Would you both like to join us? We’re sleeping in the living room because we don’t know how long it's going to affect Lloyd.” Kai asked.

 

“You know what, why not. Lemme just change first.” Nya walked to her room.

 

“Let me do the same.” Pixal then walked off.

 

—--------------------------

 

Nya immediately took a spot next to Jay and leaned on him. Pixal cuddled on Zane’s lap. Cole was seated back on the floor. Kai was seated next to Lloyd, who was leaning over the armrest looking at the tv.

 

“So what’s going on?” Jay asked, seemingly may have (read still be) spaced out for most of the night and finally started paying attention in the middle of a movie trilogy about a supernatural love triangle.

 

“So this girl likes this vampire dude and a werewolf. Though I think the vampires are more leaned towards in the movie series. It’s been years since I’ve last willingly watched this sad excuse of a series.” Cole gave his summary and his opinion.

 

“Why the vampire and the werewolf look like they about to fucking start making out constantly?” Lloyd blurted out which made everyone either do a spit-take or slowly turn towards him.

 

“Lloyd… Language.” Cole lightly scolded him trying not to laugh.

 

“Why the fuck is that accurate looking closer at, ack-” Jay was looking back at the TV before Nya playfully smacked him on the back.

 

“Honey, language.” Nya huffed as she was rubbing the area she smacked.

 

“Is this meant to have a religious undertone or a sexual one?” Lloyd blurted out again.

 

“Who said it couldn’t be both?” Jay blurted back.

 

“Why are you both encouraging one another?” Kai questioned the two.

 

“Lloyd’s asking the real questions here.” Jay stated as though it was fact.

 

“This series was a mistake to watch while tripsitting a Dragon-Oni.” Cole said as he contemplated his choices between trying not to laugh.

 

“No one can handle Jay and I’s philosophical thoughts.” Lloyd countered.

 

“Yea, can’t handle- Why the fuck are they working together now?!” Jay yelled.

 

“Because they are using the power of god and co-parenting to defeat the racists.” Lloyd shared his loose thoughts.

 

“For the love of the First Spinjitzu Master neither of you have been paying attention and watching this series first has been a mistake.” Nya nuzzles her face into the crook of Jay’s neck, making him turn bright red.

 

“This whole movie series was a dumpster fire and I don't think the books were that much better. If anything they are making this more bearable.” Cole was chuckling at Nya’s dismay.

 

“That end was cheesy.” Lloyd claimed quietly because Kai was already asleep next to him.

 

“It always is.” Cole yawned.

 

Zane and Pixal were the first ones to fall asleep during the first two movies. Kai fell asleep roughly a movie after. So now it was just Cole, Lloyd, Nya, and Jay still awake. Cole yawned again, clearly was not going to stay awake for much longer.

 

“Another movie? It will likely be the last one for tonight or we could just put it on a show.” Nya grabbed the remote and scrolled through the channels.

 

“True crime or those ghost investigation shows?” Lloyd suggested.

 

“Not while you are high.” Cole immediately shut that idea down.

 

“If I watch it while high then I can fight the hat man.” Lloyd planned.

 

“No fighting the hat man.” Nya told her baby brother.

 

“But I think I can kick his ass.” Lloyd whined.

 

“I already tried that, 0/10 don’t recommend.” Jay throws out.

 

“Jay how and why did you try to fight the hat man.” Cole questioned.

 

“I wanted to pull an all-nighter, but the hat man said I needed sleep.” Jay answered as though it was a normal conversation.

 

“First Spinjitzu Master…” Nya started.

 

“I’ma fight him.” Lloyd tried to get up, only to suddenly fall back onto the couch and promptly pass out.

 

“He already lost.” Jay dozed off as Nya spooned him, her arms wrapped around him.

 

“They both should be fine by tomorrow.” Nya sighed.

 

“Wait Jay’s been high this whole time?” Cole asked.

 

“Did none of you notice?” Nya used one hand to softly comb through her sleeping partner’s hair.

 

“He’s been acting normal though?” Cole was more questioning himself than Nya.

 

“At first glance, but you’d notice he’s been near still the entire time.” Nya pointed out.

 

“Shit you’re right. Goodnight.” Cole laid his head down and slowly closed his eyes.

 

“Night.” Nya fell asleep.

 

Wait, how'd it affect Jay?