Stream Starting Soon

by gattungswesen

Summary:

Lando felt his jaw tighten. He opened his mouth, ready to give the usual diplomatic answer—something about maximizing every opportunity and doing his job when it mattered.

And then Chat appeared.

don’t care + didn’t ask + cry about it + stay mad + get real + L + mald cope seethe harder + skill issue + no podiums + ratio + not based + ok and? + u fell off like danny ric + zak pays for ur seat and ur still mid + failed mullet + mclaren downgrade + bottled russia 2021 + washed + ur hairline’s doing track limits + saw ur quali lap btw + ur helmet’s ugly + oscar would never + u got overtaken by stroll + ur tiktok edits are mid + never heard of u until dts + i drive better on mario kart + p12 behavior + max would’ve sent it + go back to tarkov + the hood watches liam lawson now + 0 WDCs + u drive a vw golf + i asked lewis and he said u suck + u sound like baby kermit + get good

Lando stared at the message scrolling across his vision, mouth slightly open. His own brain roasting him harder than any journalist ever could was almost impressive. Almost.

"Whoever called me washed, fuck you," he muttered under his breath.

The room went dead silent.

Notes:

Standard RPF disclaimers apply. Refrain from sharing this work with any of the people or organizations mentioned in it.

Chapter 1: 110 Attempts at First Win Speedrun (WORLD RECORD ATTEMPT)

The heat pressed down like a goddamn weight.

Even through the helmet, the Florida air felt heavy, humid, loud.

Lando sat in the cockpit of the MCL38, fifth on the grid, trying not to let his heartbeat climb any higher. The McLaren mechanics moved around him, blurred by heat shimmer. The Miami International Autodrome glared under brutal sunshine—palm trees, fake yachts, influencers. The whole thing looked like someone built a racetrack inside a mobile game.

One hundred and ten races.

The number sat in his chest heavier than the humidity did.

One hundred and ten starts.

Zero wins.

The jokes weren’t funny anymore. Not to him.

“Lando NoWins.”

Twitter—X—latched onto that one ages ago. Meme accounts. Forums. Group chats. Sometimes even his own friends sent him that shit, like they weren’t making him want to put his head through the nearest hospitality table.

He tried not to think about it. Which of course meant he couldn’t stop.

“Radio check, Lando.”

Will’s voice cut through the headset.

“Yeah, loud and clear,” Lando replied, forcing his voice to stay even. Calm. Normal.

Max was on pole. Because of course he was. 

Oscar had qualified P6. Solid weekend for him.

Lando was P5. Not bad. Not great. A position you could disappear into.

But not today.

275,000 fans on site. Millions streaming. LeBron was here. Shakira was here. Half of Hollywood was here.

And then—

It appeared.

Not on the halo display.

Not on the steering wheel screen.

Not on any pit wall monitor.

Just—there.

Floating in his peripheral vision like a glitchy VR overlay someone forgot to turn off.

Stream starting in 5…

His stomach flipped.

What the fuck?

4...

He blinked hard. Shook his head.

Heatstroke?

Too many sim hours?

Not enough sleep?

He couldn’t afford this right now.

3...

Still there. Crisp, glowing. No distortion. Like it belonged.

2...

Not now. Not fucking now.

1...

Stream Started

And then—chat.

FIRST POGGERS
let’s fucking gooooo
110 starts and counting KEKW
lando nowins speedrun any%
chat’s live boys
no pressure king

The words weren’t auditory. They were just… in his head. Visually. Like subtitles. Like some sick Twitch overlay projected directly behind his eyeballs. Names. Emotes. Spam.

His pulse spiked.

“Lando, you alright mate?”

Will again. Grounding.

He swallowed, forced a breath.

“Yeah. I’m good. Just—”

He hesitated.

“Just focused.”

The formation lap started.

And chat—because apparently that’s what this was now—ramped up instantly.

FORMATION LAP POGGERS
warm those tyres streamer
MonkaS already sweating
pls don’t bin it lap 1 🙏
mclaren pitwall praying rn

He tried to focus on what he was actually doing.

Tyre temps. Brake checks.

Normal. This is normal.

Except nothing felt normal anymore.

They lined up again. Five red lights blinking on.

monkaS

First light.

monkaS monkaS monkaS

Second light.

I CANT WATCH

Third light.

pls god

Fourth light.

streamer arc or meltdown arc

Fifth light.

W OR L CHOOSE NOW

Lights out.

He launched clean.

Max covered the inside into Turn 1.

Oscar got a rocket start behind him, slicing into P4.

OSKY POGGERS
team diff
piastrology working
oscar carrying streamer already KEKW

Lando held P5. The car felt sharp.

Better than it had all season.

car looking spicy ngl
those upgrades might be it chief
copium levels rising
5 seconds penalty incoming Kappa

The race settled. Max pulling ahead. Checo in P3. Carlos floating behind.

Lap 18: Checo’s tyres dropped.

CHECO STRUGGLING OMEGALUL
ez move incoming
just send it bro
don’t pull a spa 2021 again
DRS KEKW ACTIVATED

Checo boxed before Lando could move.

P4 became P3.

Charles pitted. P2.

PODIUM ON STREAM
no way he’s cooking fr 💀
chat is this real
still time to bottle it KEKW

Lap 26.

Max clipped the bollard. Floor scrape. Minor damage.

MAX MISTAKE POGGERS
BOLLARD DIFF
verstappen cracked??
THE ARC IS REAL

Lap 29.

Logan crashed. Safety car.

OH MY FUCKING GOD SAFETY CAR
PRAYGE PRAYGE PRAGYE
STRATEGY ARC UNLOCKED
ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING

“Box, box, box, Lando.”

In. Out.

And somehow—somehow—he rejoined ahead of Max.

P1.

CHAT LOSING IT
STREAMER IN THE LEAD WTF
110 RACE BUFF ACTIVATED
REDEMPTION ARC SPEEDRUN

Safety car restart. Lap 33.

Max lunged. Lando defended. Barely held it.

DEFENSE DIFF
HE’S HIM
max got ratio’d live
stay locked king

The gap opened.

The laps ticked down.

IM ACTUALLY CRYING
we believed king
110th race arc payoff
he’s HIM
W W W W W

Last lap.

breathe streamer
bring it home
this is your arc
just one more corner
SEND IT KING

He crossed the line.

Seven seconds clear of Max Verstappen.

First win.

LANDO WINS
LANDO FUCKING WINS
IT’S OVER
110 RACES. WE DID IT.
STREAMER REDEMPTION ARC
lando nowins WHO?
i’m actually sobbing rn

The tears hit before the radio.

“Fucking hell—”

“We did it. We actually did it.”

WE FUCKING DID IT
CHAT IN SHAMBLES
KING ERA FOREVER

As he pulled into parc fermé, mechanics rushing toward the car, Lando was still seeing it. The chat. Floating. Alive.

landoWin landoWin landoWin
STREAM HIGHLIGHT OF THE CENTURY
subscribe for more wins Kappa
first win but not the last
W ERA STARTED

He climbed out, breathless. Immediately mobbed by the McLaren crew.

Zak grabbed him. Oscar was already there too—recovered to P13, clapping his back with a grin that lingered a little too long, warm in a way that always made Lando’s stomach feel strange.

caught in 4k being down bad
bro why are you staring 📸🤨
oscar effect is real KEKW

“How does it feel?”

A mic shoved in his face.

He laughed, shaky with adrenaline. “About time, eh? I knew on Friday we had the pace, and today we put it all together. Perfect strategy, perfect—”

He almost said it. perfect chat support.

He caught himself.

“—perfect execution from the team. This is for everyone at McLaren who believed in me.”

ALMOST EXPOSED HIMSELF OMEGALUL
nice save king
INTERVIEW SKILLS ON POINT

They hoisted him up before the anthem even started. The trophy wasn’t even in his hands yet.

He smiled wider than he had in years.

And underneath it, humming like static under his ribs:
the absurdity.
the unrealness.
the chat still scrolling.

VICTORY CELEBRATION POGGERS
THIS IS CONTENT
best character development arc
LANDO FINALLY UNLOCKED

Maybe it was a breakdown.

Maybe heat exhaustion.

Maybe just five years of pressure unspooling inside his head the only way his brain knew how to survive it.

Honestly?

If hallucinating a Twitch chat was what it took to finally win—

He’d take it.

POGCHAMP ENDING
10/10 STREAM
same time next week?
landoChamp landoChamp landoChamp

And then—
just for a moment—
right as the anthem started and the trophy touched his hands—
the chat blinked out.

Quiet.

Waiting.

ActualLandoNorris: OFFLINE

Notes:

so yeah, uh. this originally started as a standalone chapter for The Champion’s Mark but then it spun off into a whole cursed thing. somehow too serious and too unserious at the same time lmao. i’m sure someone’s done this concept before, probably better than me.

still don’t know if i wanna go full landoscar for this fic (should i chat? any askers?)

Chapter 2: P2 Speedrun Any% - Ferrari Fans Banned on Sight (COPIUM OVERDOSE)

Notes:

now with custom css! if you find the styling too obtrusive, click "Hide Creator's Style" in the work options in the top right.

Lando’s phone alarm was set for 7:30 AM. Flight to Bologna at 11:15, then straight to the circuit for media day. Easy enough.

The problem was: he’d celebrated his Miami win properly when he got back to Monaco. Maybe too properly. His head felt like someone had poured concrete into his skull. The morning sun streaming through his apartment windows was personally offensive.

Honestly, he’d almost convinced himself the whole “phantom Twitch chat” thing was a one-off. Stress-induced hallucination, maybe. Adrenaline doing weird things to his brain. It had been quiet for days. Just blessed, normal silence inside his own head.

He reached for his phone to hit snooze.

Five more minutes. He could still make it if he—

McLarenFan63 cheered x10!

A robotic voice suddenly filled his skull, sharp and way too loud for this hour:

“FOUR NONILLION FOUR HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR OCTILLION FOUR HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR SEPTILLION—”

Lando bolted upright in bed, hangover instantly forgotten.

“What the actual—”

The voice kept going, droning out an absurd chain of numbers like it was reading an AI-generated bank account.

“—FOUR HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR BILLION FOUR HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR MILLION FOUR HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED FORTY-FOUR.”

Then finally:

“Thank you McLarenFan63 for the ten dollar donation. Message says: ’Lando wake up you absolute muppet you have a flight to catch. Stop being a zombie and get your papaya ass to Imola. PS loved the win king but please don’t be hungover for qualifying.’”

Lando groaned, shoving both hands through his hair.

“For fuck’s sake, I’m up.”

WAKE UP CALL TTS OMEGALUL
donation alarm clock meta
McLarenFan63 the real MVP
hangover diff
streamer looking cooked

So. Not a one-time thing.

The Chat was back.

And now it had TTS donations. Because apparently his brain had fully committed to becoming a monetized Twitch channel without his permission.

Before he could even make it to the bathroom:

“Thank you MaxVerstappen1 for the seven dollars and seventy-seven cents donation. Message says: ’GG EZ CLAP better luck next time. PS this isn’t actually Max but imagine if it was lol.’”

Lando winced. “Oh, come on. It’s not even eight AM.”

MAX PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE AT DAWN
7.77 is psychotic behavior
fake max still farming him
ratio in the morning king

Then came:

“Thank you OscarPiastri81 for the one dollar donation. Message says—”

The TTS voice paused, then launched into pure chaos as it attempted to read out thirty straight seconds of full Braille spam.

“⠠⠠⠽⠀⠠⠠⠁⠉⠞⠥⠁⠇⠇⠽⠀⠠⠠⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠫⠀⠠⠠⠹⠀⠠⠠⠕⠍⠑⠛⠁⠇⠥⠇”

Lando stumbled into the shower, cranking the water up in a desperate attempt to drown out the voice.

Didn’t work. It was like trying to ignore an airhorn inside his own head.

“Even my hallucinations are trolling me,” he muttered.

BRAILLE SPAM LMFAOOOO
1 DOLLAR TTS STRAT
oscar username top tier
autism speaks

The hot water helped with the hangover, but his brain apparently wasn’t done with the entertainment.

CharlesLeclerc16 donated $16:
Félicitations mon ami! Now please tell me you’re not still playing music at 3 AM. I can hear it through the walls.

That one actually made him laugh, despite himself. Charles did live in the same building.

CHARLES NOISE COMPLAINT LMAO
monaco neighbors speedrun drama
scuffed walls in 12 million dollar apartments KEKW

By the time he was dressed and grabbing his suitcase, the donations had finally stopped. But the regular chat was still scrolling.

hurry up you’re gonna be late
classic streamer time management arc
mclaren gonna kill him if he misses this flight
imola weekend about to be content

“I’m not going to be late,” Lando said out loud—then immediately regretted acknowledging them.

COPIUM
denial stage unlocked
schizo arc deepening
streamer arguing with chat IRL

He checked his phone while waiting for the elevator. 8:47 AM.

Plenty of time. He needed to leave for Nice airport in thirty minutes to make check-in. Perfectly manageable.

That’s when it hit again.

StreamLabs donated $25:
Welcome to your new reality. This is just the beginning.

Lando stared at his reflection in the elevator mirror, the TTS voice still echoing faintly behind his eyes.

He looked tired. Still a little hungover.

And thoroughly confused by his own existence.

“Great,” he muttered. “I’m a Twitch streamer now. Except the only viewer is me, and I can’t turn it off.”

SELF-AWARE KING
meta commentary unlocked
ACTUAL SCHIZO
Imagine explaining this to a therapist lmao
schizo speedrun any%

As he climbed into his car and headed for the airport, Lando couldn’t shake the feeling that this weekend was about to get weird.

If random TTS donations were waking him up at home…what the hell was going to happen when he was actually racing?

Nice Côte d’Azur Airport was its usual controlled chaos.

Lando made it through check-in with fifteen minutes to spare—a personal best.

He scanned the departure lounge and immediately clocked familiar faces by gate B12.

Oscar stood there, annoyingly put-together in his McLaren polo, chatting with Alex and George. A few other drivers milled around.

The second Lando’s eyes landed on Oscar, his peripheral vision detonated.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
OSCAR SPOTTED POGGERS
landoscar content unlocked
HES SO PRETTY WTF
husband material KEKW
down bad streamer arc active
submissive AND breedable confirmed

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Lando muttered, trying to ignore the heart spam flooding his brain.

LOOK AT THAT SMILE OMEGALUL
GAY PANIC LIVE ON STREAM
mans STARING respectfully
oscar effect hits diff

He started walking over, but chat kept spiraling.

KISS HIM KISS HIM KISS HIM
100 GIFTED IF YOU DO IT
DO IT FOR THE CONTENT KING
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE SPEEDRUN

Lando whispered under his breath, “What will it take to get you to shut up?”

KISS HIM AND WE’LL STOP
no balls
prime subs waiting
W content farm

“Not gonna do that,” he hissed.

“What?” Oscar glanced up, brows raised.

“Nothing,” Lando said quickly, face heating.

LMFAOOOOOOO
HE SAID IT OUT LOUD AGAIN
CAUGHT 4K HDR
KEKW KEKW KEKW

“You alright?” Oscar asked, still giving him that slightly concerned look.

“Yeah. All good. Just… tired. Long night.”

SMOOTH RECOVERY COPIUM
copium levels rising
actually throwing KEKW
oscar definitely thinks you’re insane

Lando had a sinking feeling it was going to be both.

The thing about the Chat, Lando was starting to realize, was that it wasn’t always there.

Sometimes it vanished for hours. Silent. Almost enough to make him think he was getting better. That his brain was healing.

And then, like clockwork, it would slam back into his skull the second he let his guard down—flooding in like a broken dam.

Walking through the paddock for the grid walk, he kept his eyes forward.

Don’t look at anyone directly. Don’t give chat ammunition.

He failed instantly.

His eyes drifted to Logan, mid-interview with ESPN.

WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER RAH 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
AMERICA MENTIONED 🦅🦅🦅
FREEDOM UNITS ONLY
logan sargeant my beloved

Lando blinked hard, looking away. What the hell was that even supposed to mean?

Max walked past next. Immediately, some cursed beat loop kicked in his head.

DUDUDUDU MAX VERSTAPPEN
DUDUDUDU DUDUDUDU
dutch anthem incoming
max max max super max LETS FUCKING GOOOO

The worst was Lewis.

The moment his eyes landed on him heading into drivers’ briefing, the flood gates fully opened:

LEWIS HAMILTON GOAT 🐐🐐🐐
8 TIME WORLD CHAMPION
BLESSED 🙏 STILL WE RISE
team lh forever 💜
JUSTICE FOR LEWIS
HAMMERTIME ACTIVATED

Then—

Suddenly, mid-spam:

McLarenMod: Multiple users have been timed out for excessive spamming

MODS 💀💀💀
no fun allowed
literally 1984
mod check

Lando stared as timeout notifications scrolled across his vision. His own brain had… moderators? That were timing out other parts of his brain? For simping too hard over Lewis Hamilton?

“This is deeply concerning,” he whispered.

skill issue
streamer getting griefed by his own mods KEKW
brain democracy collapsing live

He found himself standing at the barriers before first practice, looking out at the track.

Tamburello stretched ahead—smooth, fast, deceptively simple. The same strip of tarmac where so much history had been written. Where—

His chest tightened.

And then, almost imperceptibly, floating in his peripheral vision—easy to miss if you weren’t looking for it:

Sadge

Just one. Quiet. Respectful.

Lando swallowed. Even his completely deranged brain chat knew when to be serious.

The MCL38 felt good under him. Really good.

Lando could feel the pace as he headed out for Q3, the upgrades delivering exactly like the engineers promised.

This was it—his chance to put it on pole.

His first flying lap was clean.

Smooth through the chicanes. Good exit out of Tamburello.

The time flashed up: P3.

Max on pole. Oscar sitting P2.

P3 not terrible
max built differently tbh
oscar p2 though 👀
teammate diff showing

Lando gritted his teeth. One more shot.

The car had more. He knew it.

This was the lap that mattered.

Sector one: green.
Good.

Sector two: yellow.
Shit.

Sector three: yellow.
Dead.

P3. Still P3.

THREW IT KEKW
CHOKED UNDER PRESSURE
oscar p2, lando p3 💀
teammate diff active
oscar clears again
piastri > norris confirmed
oscar dick riders EATING

“Fuck,” Lando muttered, pulling into parc fermé.

The Chat was absolutely brutal. He’d had the car for P2, at least—and bottled it.

SKILL ISSUE
just not good enough OMEGALUL
oscar fans eating good tonight
lando washed confirmed

Oscar was already out of his car by the time Lando climbed out, helmet off, hair a mess. Even flushed and sweaty, he looked… good. Annoyingly good.

“Mate, solid lap,” Lando said, pulling off his own helmet as he walked over. “P2, you beauty. Should’ve been pole if Max wasn’t… Max.”

Oscar smiled—quick, easy—but Lando caught the faint flush in his cheeks. A little too red for just post-quali exertion.

“Cheers. Thanks. You had pace too. Tyres were tricky today.”

HE’S BLUSHING OMEGALUL
oscar.exe not responding
thats not exhaustion thats gay panic
lando effect buff active
oscar fans writing fic rn

Lando nodded, letting the moment hang just a second longer than necessary.

“Yeah, tyres were mental,” he said, eyes still on Oscar. The way his hair spiked, the easy grin, how he always seemed fully locked in when Lando talked—like he actually listened.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
THEY’RE SO CUTE
oscar is DOWN BAD
someone check his pulse
lando finally clocking it POGGERS

“Anyway,” Oscar said, breaking the quiet, still a touch flustered. “You’ll have a good race tomorrow. You always do well from P3.”

There it was again.

The lingering eye contact.

The slightly softer way he said his name earlier.

OH HE’S STARTING TO NOTICE
chat gaydar undefeated
we been knew

Then the stewards’ decision flashed on the timing screens: Oscar Piastri – 3-place grid penalty for impeding.

WHAT THE FUCK
STEWARDS ARE BLIND
ROBBERY LIVE
oscar did nothing wrong
FIA WASHED
JUSTICE FOR OSCAR
p2 to p5 is criminal

“That’s bollocks,” Lando said immediately, scowling at the screen. “Absolute bollocks. You barely held him up.”

“It’s fine,” Oscar shrugged, but the disappointment flashed behind his eyes. “P5 isn’t the end of the world. At least you’re P2 now.”

LANDO DEFENDING HIS MAN LIVE
relationship goals unlocked
stewards are haters
oscar robbed arc
silver lining: lando p2 KEKW

“Lando, how do you feel about your qualifying performance today?”

Lando shifted in his seat. The brutal honesty was a habit he’d never been able to break, even when his PR team begged him to be more diplomatic.

“It just wasn’t good enough,” he said flatly. “I had the pace for pole, or at least the front row. I didn’t deliver. The car was there, the opportunity was there, and I messed it up.”

NO NO NO
STOP IT STOP IT
self deprecation arc needs to die
you’re literally starting P2 KING
oscar died for this
HAVE SOME FUCKING CONFIDENCE

“Looking ahead to tomorrow’s race, what are your expectations?”

“Honestly? I don’t think I’ve got much of a chance of winning from P2.”

The Chat absolutely detonated.

LANDO NO
NEGATIVE MINDSET ANDY
pls stop hurting us live
PEPEGA
self sabotage speedrun any%

“The Red Bull looked very strong today, and Max… Max is Max. If I can get on the podium, that’ll be a good result.”

WE CANT WATCH THIS ANYMORE
he needs a therapist not a race engineer
oscar needs to gas him up
miami win was TWO WEEKS AGO NOT TWO YEARS AGO
chat has more belief than the actual streamer

The press conference wrapped, and as Lando walked back toward McLaren hospitality, he couldn’t shake it—the gnawing sense that his own brain was more frustrated with him than any journalist could ever be.

WE LOVE YOU BUT JESUS
pls have some faith
tomorrow’s winnable KING
this is copium but it’s also real

Lando woke up to silence.

Not just the normal hotel room quiet—but true silence.

No scrolling text. No random donos. No chat spamming 🧡🧡🧡 or demanding he "kiss Oscar already." No goblins. Just silence.

Just… nothing.

He went through his usual race day routine—shower, breakfast, data review—and the quiet stayed.

Unsettling.

He’d gotten used to the constant background noise. The bizarre comfort of having imaginary viewers following him everywhere.

The absence felt heavier than the chaos ever had.

The quiet followed him all the way to the circuit. Through security. Into McLaren hospitality.

At least when chat was being toxic, it meant they were there.

The silence felt worse.

Then—the moment his foot touched the grid—his vision exploded.

RACE DAY POGGERS
WE’RE BACK BABY
streamer was lost without us KEKW
THOSE SHOES ARE HIDEOUS OMEGALUL
who dressed him 💀
budget drip arc
stream starting in formation lap LETS GOOOO

“Oh, there you are,” Lando muttered, relief creeping in despite the instant roasting.

HE MISSED US OMEGALUL
parasocial but reversed
streamer addicted to chat confirmed
still not defending those shoes tho KEKW

The Ferrari red in the grandstands was overwhelming.

Imola was always like this—a sea of tifosi flags, banners, and deafening Italian chants.

The entire circuit felt dipped in scarlet.

Lando stood on the back of the truck beside Carlos, both waving to the roaring crowd.

“Last time in red here,” Carlos said, voice tinged with melancholy as he waved. “It’s strange, you know? Seven years, and suddenly it’s ending.”

“Yeah. Must be weird,” Lando replied, glancing at the endless wall of red.

The passion was unreal.

And then—something impossible.

CharlesLeclerc16 is raiding with a party of 47,892!
CarlosSainz55 is raiding with a party of 31,205!

FERRARI RAID POGGERS
CHARLES AND CARLOS VIEWERS INCOMING
CAAAAARLANDOOOOO 
CROSSOVER ARC
TIFOSI TAKEOVER LETS GOOOO
FORZA FERRARI🔴🔴🔴🔴
MCLAREN FANS IN SHAMBLES RN

The Chat detonated instantly.

FORZA FERRARI 🔥🔥🔥
CHARLES POLE WHEN
SAINZ MASTERCLASS DESERVED
FERRARI STRATEGY COPE
ITALIAN BLOOD SUPREMACY
MCLAREN DOWN BAD
PAPAYA MID 💀
MATTIA NEVER FORGOTTEN
RED SUPREMACY ONLINE

Carlos, blissfully unaware, kept chatting beside him.

“And Charles been good to work with, but you know how it is,” Carlos continued. “The dynamic shifts when contracts expire.”

Meanwhile, Lando stared blankly, brain breaking.

Carlos was casually having a normal conversation while simultaneously raiding his brain’s internal Twitch feed.

LANDO.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING
STREAM SNIPED
CARLOS TALKING IN BOTH DIMENSIONS
MOD CHECK???

McLarenMod: Multiple users have been timed out for excessive caps and spam.

The tifosi refused to leave quietly.

MODS ARE COWARDS KEKW
YOU CANT BAN US ALL
FERRARI BLOODLINE UNSTOPPABLE
BAN ME KING
FORZA CHARLES FOREVER
SAINZ P5 BUT P1 IN OUR HEARTS

McLarenMod: SmoothOperator55 has been banned.
McLarenMod: TifosForever has been banned.
McLarenMod: ForzaCharles16 has been banned.

McLaren fans rallied instantly.

SCUDERIA FERRARI BTFO
PAPAYA NATION STAYS WINNING
MIAMI WINNER CLEAR
OSCAR > CHARLES FACTS
RED FLAG MERCHANTS
NO STRATEGY NO PODIUMS

Carlos finally glanced over.

“You alright, mate? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Yeah, just… thinking about the race,” Lando lied, eyes still flicking through the chat war exploding in his periphery.

RECOVERY 100
SMOOTH LANDO LETS GOO
CARLOS THINKS HES HAVING A STROKE LMFAO
FERRARI RAID NEUTRALIZED KEKW
MODS WORKING OT

The truck kept rolling, but Lando couldn’t shake it.

His imaginary streaming career was starting to feel way, way too real.

As Lando strapped into the car before the formation lap, the mod notifications started flashing:

McLarenMod: Any tifosi spotted in chat will be banned on sight.
McLarenMod: Ferrari fans not welcome during race.
McLarenMod: Raid protection enabled.
McLarenMod: Report Ferrari spam immediately.

mods on DEFCON 1
ferrari fans ratio’d preemptively
papaya border security strong today

“Is it really that bad of a problem?” Lando muttered as he adjusted his mirrors.

YES
you missed the raid earlier??
tifosi are unhinged
NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS

The lights went out clean.

Max launched from pole.

Lando held P2. The Ferraris stayed tucked behind.

CLEAN START POGGERS
safe t1 KEKW
lando holding p2 LETS GO
charles back where he belongs

By lap 10, Max had built a three-second gap, and Charles hovered half a second behind, hunting.

max pulling slowly like usual
charles trying too hard lol
gap management king active
leclerc farmhand behavior

Lando boxed early on lap 23, switching to hards.

He rejoined behind Perez, stuck on his long-run alt strategy.

PEREZ ROADBLOCK INCOMING
drs train merchant
get this rolling chicane outta here
checo cooked already

By lap 25, Max pitted and rejoined fourth, 4.4 seconds ahead.

Lando pushed, setting fastest laps.

Charles boxed a lap later—cleared Perez quickly.

CHARLES GAINING AGAIN MONKAS
ferrari pace weirdly spicy today
battle for p2 brewing KEKW
max tyre saving like a coward

Middle stint: tense.

Charles sat right there—sometimes within half a second—lap after lap.

THIS BATTLE IS NUTS
leclerc applying pressure IRL
both closing the red bull diff
drs chain goddamn

Lap 47.

Leclerc ran wide at Variante Alta, hopping over the curb, cutting grass.

CHARLES MISTAKE LMAOOOO
bottled it live
p2 secured KING
leclerc always folding when it counts
they fired the wrong driver KEKW

Lando could finally lock in.

Max: 6 seconds up.

20 laps to go.

SIX SECONDS?? EZ GAP
SEND IT ARC ACTIVATED
red bull sweating

15 laps left: 4.5 seconds.

7 laps left: 2 seconds.

OH MY GOD HES ACTUALLY CLOSING
PACE INSANE RN
max struggling confirmed
DRS ZONE LOADING

5 laps to go: 1.5 seconds.

Lando could see Max up ahead, Red Bull sliding on worn rubber.

SO CLOSE HOLY SHIT
max losing rear grip KEKW
lando hunting like a demon
supermax sweating IRL

But then—a snap of oversteer.

Tiny, but enough. The tyres didn’t like it.

The gap stabilized.

Max crossed the line: +0.725s ahead.

NOOOOOOO
SO FUCKING CLOSE
ONE MORE LAP HE HAD HIM
ROBBED BY TIRE DROP OFF
unlucky diff
P2 BUT KING ERA CONTINUES

“Hard luck, Lando,” Will’s voice crackled over the radio. “Incredible drive. You nearly had him.”

Lando slumped back in his seat, heart still pounding.

So close. So fucking close.

WHAT A DRIVE THO
P3 START TO P2 FINISH KING
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARC
miami wasn’t a fluke confirmed
streamer’s cooking every weekend
WE PROUD FR 🧡

The Chat stayed with him as he walked into the cooldown room, buzzing like a swarm at the edge of his vision.

Max was already there, visibly relieved, shoulders loose now that it was done. Charles stood off to the side—gracious smile on, but the disappointment sat heavy behind his eyes.

“Mate, that was some driving at the end,” Max said, clapping Lando’s shoulder. “Thought you had me for a moment.”

“Yeah, well. One more lap, maybe.” Lando grabbed a water bottle, pulse still uneven.

MAX RESPECTING THE PACE
even supermax admits it
humble king vibes
charles looking like a lost puppy KEKW

The interviews blurred together. Lando stayed honest, as always—he never did know how to give the perfectly packaged soundbite his PR team begged for.

“I probably didn’t expect the Red Bull to be quite as quick as they were. I’m happy with second, but yeah—Max was too fast today.”

THERE HE GOES AGAIN
honest king syndrome
react andies clipping this already
twitter twisting it rn
self-deprecation streamer arc CONTINUES

He tried to catch himself. Added, “But it was a fun one. The pace at the end was incredible. One or two more laps and I think I would’ve had him.”

THAT’S THE ENERGY
confidence unlocked
miami winner arc restored
we love a growth king
character development speedrun

In the press conference, seated under the lights that always felt too hot:

“I think we can happily say we’re fighting Ferrari and Red Bull now—and that’s something we have to get used to. It’s still strange to say ‘it’s frustrating not to win,’ but after last weekend, this is what we should start expecting.”

MATURE RESPONSE
growth mindset activated
react channels disappointed KEKW
confident streamer era LETS GO

The words came easier now. He meant them. Which was maybe the strangest part of all.

As Lando finally left the paddock, still buzzing from the close fight, he felt the familiar sensation—the stream winding down.

GG BOYS
hell of a stream
best content in weeks
nearly clutched the dub
same time next week?
monaco ResidentSleeper
street circuit cope
yacht cam gonna carry tbh

ActualLandoNorris: OFFLINE

Lando stepped out into the Italian evening.

Finally—alone with his own thoughts for the first time all weekend.

Monaco next week. The biggest race of the year.

And somehow, his own brain chat was already bored by it.

He had a feeling this was going to be a very interesting season.

Notes:

ok chat i see you. you win. we’re going FULL landoscar now. parasocial brainrot levels increasing every chapter. this fic will only get worse (better). buckle up lmao.

Chapter 3: Local Man Finally Wins Home Race While Chat Falls Asleep (EMOTIONAL)

It had been quiet for two weeks.

Too quiet.

Lando wasn’t superstitious—he just knew how stories worked. He knew the arc had to keep climbing. Knew peace was never an ending. Only a pause.

Still, the silence had unsettled him. He’d gotten used to the noise. The color. The twitching little hum in the corner of his mind.

The Chat.

Gone, just like that. No fanfare. No dono spam. No KEKWs echoing behind his eyeballs. Just—off.

It should’ve been a relief.

It wasn’t.

He kept looking for them in the still moments. Expecting a “skill issue” to flash in his periphery when he nearly dropped a cereal bowl. Waiting for a sarcastic "breathe streamer" after a sweaty sim session or a late-night gym set. But nothing came. Just silence. Just him, breathing too loud in his own flat.

It felt wrong.

So when they came back—

Right as he stepped into the Monaco paddock on a sunny, too-warm Friday morning—

He wasn’t surprised.

Just… bracing.

WE’RE SO BACK
audio scuffed but vibes immaculate
EXPENSIVE PROCESSION INCOMING KEKW
€50K TO WATCH A TRAIN
monaco tourism board wins again
someone crash into a yacht pls

Lando flinched. He hadn’t realized how tense he was until his shoulders dropped again, the breath leaving him half-sigh, half-laugh. Of course it would be here.

Nothing about the Monaco paddock made sense. Yachts floating a few meters from multimillion-pound garages. Diamond watches flashing beside pit boards. Billionaires cosplaying as motorsport purists.

HE FLINCHED OMEGALUL
did he miss us 🥺
monaco without chat = no flavor
we make the mid spicy 😌
withdrawal symptoms confirmed
parasocial relationship but reversed
streamer addicted to viewers KEKW

And then—of course—Charles walked past. Hair perfect. Jawline illegal. Wearing the Ferrari polo like it owed him rent. He didn’t even glance at Lando. Just existed. Monaco’s doomed prince.

The Chat detonated.

CHARLES LECLERC SPOTTED
CURSE OF MONACO ACTIVE
RIP CHARLES POLE CHANCES
home race disadvantage KEKW
he’s fighting demons in that garage
MONACO CURSE SPEEDRUN
he lives here and still can’t win 💀
IL PREDESTINATO TO SUFFER LULW
ferrari strategy masterclass incoming
box box we are checking
charles fans in shambles already

“That’s a bit harsh,” Lando said quietly, trying not to look like he was talking to himself. “He had pole last year.”

bro that was 2022 💀
get your facts straight streamer
2023 pole was max cope
didn’t win either way KEKW
charles fans punching the air rn
skill issued by his own pitwall
charles pole era is a myth now
streamer revisionist history arc
MEMORY DIFF
chat educating the streamer LMAO

Lando grimaced. “Okay, fine. Point taken.”

EDUCATED
chat > streamer knowledge
we stay winning
monaco facts check passed

The weekend turned into a full-blown circus—and Chat treated it like their personal variety show.

CELEB SPOTTING GAME ACTIVATED
LEADERBOARD INCOMING
is that leonardo dicaprio?
YACHT DADDY SPOTTED
famous people % speedrun PB

Every time Lando passed someone vaguely famous:

THAT’S DEFINITELY BRAD PITT
or rich guy #382
they all look the same in sunglasses tbh
GENERIC WEALTHY PERSON #47
influencer arc unlocked

When Lewis strolled by—flanked by what looked like half of Hollywood—Chat fully lost its mind:

LEWIS CELEBRITY MAGNET CONFIRMED
bro collects famous people like pokemon
hamilton effect too strong
we could never
main character energy unmatched

Lando sighed, heading toward the McLaren garage.

Maybe if he ignored them long enough, they’d get bored of the spotting game and move on.

OH MY GOD ITS PEDRO PASCAL
THE MANDALORIAN HIMSELF
DADDY PEDRO AT MONACO PogU

His head snapped up, scanning the crowd. “Where?”

JEBAITED OMEGALUL
GOTTEM
he actually looked KEKW
streamer fell for it
no pedro in sight PepeLaugh
easiest bait of all time

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Lando muttered, realizing he’d just spent thirty seconds earnestly scanning the paddock for a man who was not even on the continent.

HOOK LINE AND SINKER
chat: 1, streamer: 0
we stay winning

“Looking for someone?”

Lando spun around. Oscar stood there, eyebrows raised, clearly having just watched him do a full 360 like a lost tourist.

“Just… thought I saw someone,” Lando said weakly.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
OSCAR TIMING PERFECT POGGERS
he's so fine wtf
submissive and aerodynamic
ZAMN 😍
oscar’s bussy probably got—
DOWN BAD DOWN CATASTROPHIC
AWOOGA AWOOGA

“Quali starts in thirty minutes. Stop talking about Oscar’s bussy,” Lando hissed under his breath. “WeirdChamp.”

LMFAOOOOOOO HE SAID IT
BRUH MOMENT
CAUGHT LACKING IN 4K
PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO
ACTUALLY UNHINGED
WEIRDCHAMP YOURSELF STREAMER
BASED BASED BASED

Oscar blinked. “...What?”

“Nothing,” Lando said quickly, face burning. “Strategy. Let’s talk strategy. How’s the car feeling? Setup changes?”

COPIUM OVERDOSE
DAMAGE CONTROL SPEEDRUN
oscar thinks you're schizo now
BASED DEPARTMENT CALLING
PepeLaugh HE DOESN'T KNOW

Oscar still looked mildly concerned but rolled with it. “Yeah, the rear’s been a bit loose through the Swimming Pool section. You?”

ResidentSleeper STRATEGY TALK
WE WANT CHAOS NOT AERO
JUST KISS ALREADY
5Head talk is cringe
rear's loose? so is the streamer KEKW

“Same issue,” Lando nodded, desperate for normal conversation. “Might go up on rear wing?”

REAR WING OMEGALUL
EVERYTHING IS FOREPLAY TO YOU
COOMER BRAIN ACTIVATED
modCheck HORNY POLICE
BONK

“Could work,” Oscar said. “Though the straight line speed—”

STRAIGHT? KEKW
DOUBT
NOT VERY STRAIGHT OF YOU LANDO
gay gay homosexual gay
EZ Clap

Lando pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to be a long thirty minutes.

MALDING LIVE
streamer tilted by own chat
skill issue tbh
just close the tab 4Head

They kept talking about tyre pressures and wing angles, but Lando barely registered any of it—still praying Oscar hadn’t fully processed what he’d muttered about his… anatomy.

“Right, well,” Oscar said eventually, still looking like he was lowkey debating calling someone about Lando’s mental state, “I’m gonna go check data with Tom before we get in the cars.”

“Yeah. Good call.” Lando nodded, holding in a sigh of relief. “See you out there.”

Oscar walked away—

And Chat snapped back to attention.

WAIT QUALI IN 20 MINS
OH SHIT WE FORGOT
MONACO QUALI POGGERS
TIME TO LOCK IN
HORNY POSTING SUSPENDED
BUSINESS TIME ACTIVATED

The energy shifted instantly. From absolute goblins to laser-focused racing nerds in three seconds flat.

QUALI HYPE LET’S GOOOOO
POLE POSITION GAMBA
monaco quali > actual race KEKW
THIS IS WHERE IT COUNTS

Then—

Something new happened.

The Chat started... betting.

PREDICTIONS: QUALI P1?
MAX VERSTAPPEN – 3:1 ODDS
CHARLES LECLERC – 4:1
LANDO NORRIS – 8:1
OSCAR PIASTRI – 12:1 DARK HORSE

StreamBot: Betting pool open! React with emotes to place bets:
🏆 = Max Verstappen
🇲🇨 = Charles Leclerc
🧡 = Lando Norris
🇦🇺 = Oscar Piastri

Lando stared at the overlay as emotes started flooding in.

🏆🏆🏆 MAX TRAIN FULL SEND
🇲🇨🇲🇨 HOME TRACK COPIUM
🧡 BELIEVE IN THE STREAMER
🇦🇺 OSCAR SLEEPER PICK
🏆 MAX IS UNBEATABLE RN
sorry lando but stats don’t lie

He squinted.

“Really? You’re betting against me? In my own brain ?”

IT’S JUST BUSINESS KING
gotta protect the points
8 poles in a row diff
we love you but we’re not delusional
🏆🏆🏆 MAX SUPREMACY TRAIN

Lando strapped in for Q1, eyes flicking to the chaos still scrolling at the edge of his vision.

And somewhere, deep down, he was mildly disturbed by how many people in his own head had just bet their entire fake balance on someone else.

Q1 went smoothly enough.

Lando made it through comfortably. So did Oscar.

Chat was already starting to spiral.

Q1 CLEAR POGGERS
clean opener LETS GO
oscar looking quick tho 👀
teammate battle heating up fast
plot developing already

Then came Q2.

Lando went fastest on his first run—

And Chat exploded.

LANDO P1 OMEGALUL
🧡 BETTERS STARTING TO BELIEVE
channel points secured??
don’t get cocky it’s Q2 KEKW
but pace looking crispy

Then Oscar dropped his lap. Faster.

OSCAR FASTER AGAIN LMAOOO
teammate diff live on stream
piastri > norris CONFIRMED
🇦🇺 DARK HORSE BETTERS EATING RN

Q3 was pure chaos. Charles was flying. Max was—somehow—struggling more than anyone expected.

Lando found himself actually fighting for a front row spot.

First run: P3. Behind Charles and Oscar.

P3 SOLID
FRONT ROW STILL IN PLAY
charles looking UNBEATABLE rn
🇲🇨 BETTERS PRINTING

Final run: No improvement.

Oscar P2.

Charles on pole.

Lando P4.

P4 FINAL
OSCAR CLEARS AGAIN 💀
teammate diff confirmed KEKW
🇲🇨 BETTERS CASHING OUT
CHARLES POLE POGGERS
curse officially broken??
max p6 LMFAOOOOO

StreamBot: Final betting results:
🇲🇨 Charles Leclerc – POLE POSITION – 4:1 payout
🏆 Max Verstappen – P6 – all bets lost
🇦🇺 Oscar Piastri – P2 – dark horse pays
🧡 Lando Norris – P4 – better luck next time

CHARLES BETTERS RICH AF
4:1 LETSGOOO
max betters in absolute shambles
🇲🇨 MONACO BELIEVED
lando p4 is fine but oscar p2???
🧡< 🇦🇺 KEKW

Lando sat in the cockpit, staring at the timing screens.

P4. Not awful. But not great.

Oscar ahead. Again.

Charles—untouchable.

He exhaled, low and bitter. “Well… at least some of you made money.”

WE’LL SPLIT THE PAYOUT KING
charles betters buying lando dinner
monaco quali delivered fr
tomorrow = 78 lap parade KEKW
formation flying stream incoming

He slumped deeper into the seat, watching the numbers refresh.

Yeah.

He had a feeling Sunday was going to be very, very long.

The formation lap felt different in Monaco.

There was always something electric about threading these narrow streets—even when everyone knew what was coming: seventy-eight laps of glorified parade driving.

As Lando lined up in P4, Chat was already getting restless.

HERE WE GO BOYS ResidentSleeper
formation lap COMPLETE
time for the annual snoozefest
78 laps of follow the leader KEKW

Then—as the lights began their sequence—a poll appeared in his peripheral vision.

CHAT POLL: Safety car Lap 1?
❌ NO — 66% (31,812)
✅ YES — 34% (16,388)

Lando blinked. Watched the percentages tick up as the first red light lit.

“Are you seriously—”

The lights went out.

Chaos.

Debris.
Smoke.
Cars scattering.
Barrier damage.

Red flag. Lap 1.

HOLY SHIT
THE POLL WAS RIGHT LMFAO
34% ARE ORACLES
WE CALLED IT LETS GOOOO
monaco being monaco
safety car believers VINDICATED

Lando crawled back to the pits under red flag conditions, jaw slack.

“What the actual fuck,” he muttered. “How did you—”

WE DON’T MISS
big brain chat diff
never doubt us streamer
the 34% carried

After a long delay, the race restarted—and immediately settled into exactly what everyone expected.

PROCESSION MODE ENGAGED
time to count laps KEKW
monaco quali = real race confirmed
78 laps of nothing incoming
yacht cam better than race cam tbh

Every few laps, new polls flashed in his peripheral vision:

CHAT POLL: Will Logan crash this lap?
CHAT POLL: Charles loses the lead?
CHAT POLL: How many laps until next overtake?

LOGAN CRASH POLL KEKW
poor sargeant catching strays
charles losing lead = pure copium
spoiler: 0 overtakes today OMEGALUL
monaco tradition lives on

Every time Lando entered the tunnel, the Chat detonated :

TUNNEL TUNNEL TUNNEL
🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗
TUNNEL VISION ACTIVATED
VROOOOOOM
echo chamber unlocked
WE’RE UNDERGROUND BABY

And it happened.

Every. Single. Lap.

By Lap 15, he was certain he had full-blown tunnel-induced psychosis.

Then—Lap 20—

A dono message appeared that actually made him laugh out loud:

MaxVerstappen1 donated $7.77:
actual sleeper race bro ResidentSleeper should have brought my pillow

Lando snorted.

MAX DONATED LMFAOOOO
HE’S STREAM SNIPING IN REAL TIME
pillow speedrun any%
7.77 grief dono GOAT
max got jokes now??

“Even Max is bored,” Lando muttered.

“Sorry? Say again?” Will’s voice crackled through the radio.

“Nothing,” Lando said quickly. “Just… thinking out loud.”

By Lap 45, a new message appeared—pinned by the mods.

⚲ Pinned by McLaren Mod
PatoOWard5 : Chat this is boring! Watch me at Indy 500 instead KEKW. Better racing. More passing. Actual excitement. Stream link in bio.

PATO RAIDING POGCHAMP
INDYCAR SUPREMACY LIVE
OVAL RACING CLEAR
PATO SPEAKS TRUTH TBH
monaco could never

Then Lando noticed something… unsettling.

In the corner of his vision, a viewer count appeared.

And it was dropping.

👥 Viewers: 47,892
👥 Viewers: 45,331
👥 Viewers: 42,156

“Are you seriously leaving?” Lando muttered. “You’re abandoning your own streamer?”

SORRY LANDO BUT THIS IS PAINFUL
we love you but we’re out
pato stream has overtakes
come back when something happens
ResidentSleeper WAKE US UP PLZ

👥 Viewers: 38,904

The race continued its predictable formation:

Charles leading.

Oscar P2.

Carlos P3.

Lando stuck in P4—no hope of attacking, no window for strategy.

Chat kept themselves entertained with increasingly cursed distractions:

CHAT POLL: What’s for dinner?
CHAT POLL: Is this racing or a parade?
CHAT POLL: Rate this race (1-10, 10 = unwatchable)

PARADE VOTE 89%
dinner poll has more overtakes tbh
rating: 11/10 unwatchable
monaco mid confirmed
bring back tunnel spam fr

But then—

With ten laps to go—something shifted.

Charles was still leading. But the tension ticked up. The crowd got louder.

Chat locked in.

FINAL 10 LAPS BOYS
can charles close it out?
monaco curse still lurking 👀
curse deniers PRAYING rn
don’t count your poles before they finish

👥 Viewers: 51,347

“Oh, now you’re back,” Lando said dryly.

WE NEVER LEFT (we totally left)
just got snacks KEKW
climax approaching
let us cook

Lap 75.
Lap 76.
Lap 77.

Charles crossed the line.

Winner of the Monaco Grand Prix.

At home.

At last.

CHARLES FUCKING WINS
HOME RACE DUB POGGERS
MONACO CURSE DESTROYED LIVE
🇲🇨🇲🇨🇲🇨🇲🇨🇲🇨
BETTERS CASHING OUT
EMOTIONAL MOMENT FR
even we’re crying ngl
ferrari strategy actually 5head for once

Even Lando felt it.

The roar from the crowd.

The way Charles collapsed into the arms of his crew.

The joy. The disbelief. The redemption.

WHOLESOME CONTENT UNLOCKED
charles crying = we crying
home win buff hits different
oscar p2 also poggers ngl
lando p4 = formation complete

As Lando climbed out of his car in parc fermé, he couldn’t help but smile—even after finishing exactly where he started.

“Well,” he said to no one in particular, “at least it was historic. First time ever the top ten finished in grid order.”

HISTORIC PROCESSION GOAT
most expensive parade ever OMEGALUL
worth it for charles tho
monaco stream complete ✅
switching to pato stream now
indycar better KEKW
see you next week boys
thanks for the content king

ActualLandoNorris: OFFLINE

Later that evening, Lando sat in his Monaco apartment, scrolling TikTok as the adrenaline finally bled out of his system. The usual post-race blur—media, debriefs, a quick dinner—already fading into static.

His phone buzzed with fresh notifications. The algorithm had locked in: Monaco GP clips. Fan reactions. Team radio compilations. Endless celebration edits of Charles finally winning at home.

Then he saw it.

Max Verstappen ROASTS Monaco GP during race — 100.4K views

He tapped play.

Max’s voice came through crystal clear:

“Fuck me, this is really boring! I should have brought my pillow.”

Lando froze. His stomach dropped.

He rewound it. Played it again.

Timestamp: Lap 20. Exactly when the MaxVerstappen1 donation had popped into his head.

Same timing. Same sarcastic tone.

His fingers tightened around the phone. Pulse spiking.

The safety car poll. The 34% who knew .

The crash. The chaos. The win.

“What the fuck,” he whispered to the empty room.

The phone slipped from his hand, landing softly on the coffee table. He raked both hands through his hair. Brain spiraling.

Not stress. Not adrenaline. Not some delusion brought on by heatstroke and race pressure.

Either his brain had developed actual precognitive powers … Or the universe was pulling off the most elaborate, deranged prank possible.

The donation. The poll. The timing.

All too precise.

He looked up, catching his own reflection in the dark window overlooking the harbor.

Out there, Charles was probably still celebrating the biggest win of his life. Max was probably already joking about bringing a pillow to Canada. And Oscar was… doing whatever Oscar did when he wasn’t haunting Lando’s frontal lobe.

Lando sat alone. Staring at the water. Wondering if his imaginary Twitch chat—the one only he could see—was somehow, impossibly, realer than it should be.

“This is mental,” he muttered.

No Chat appeared.

No donos.

Just the quiet hum of Monaco at night.

And the distant sound of fireworks still echoing across the harbor.

He glanced back down at his phone. Pressed play one more time.

“I should have brought my pillow.”

The universe, it seemed, had a very strange sense of humor.

Notes:

fic bumped to a mature rating because chat got too horny. i tried to stop them. i failed. i'm sorry.

bonus Oscar POV:

Oscar walked away, pretending everything was normal.
Rear’s a bit loose through the Swimming Pool section.
Rear wing. Straight-line speed. Setup. Strategy. Normal conversation.

But inside?

"Bussy."
Lando said "bussy."

Was this some kind of McLaren hazing ritual?
Was “WeirdChamp” slang? A new Britishism?
Is this what happens after too many sim hours?
Should he report this? Was this a wellness check situation?

He filed it away like a red flag and a greenlight simultaneously.
Deeply disturbed. Mildly intrigued.

Absolutely texted Max Fewtrell later like:

oscar: does lando say weird internet shit to you
max: define "weird"
oscar: like bussy
max: LMAOOOOOOO
max: wait he said that TO YOU?
max: oh yeah bro ur cooked

Okay.
He was cooked.