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DRACO MALFOY ACQUITTED DEATH EATER BREAKING SACRED 28 TRADITION OF MARRYING A PUREBLOOD WITCH?
By: Rita Skeeter
Draco Malfoy (24) (acquitted) Death Eater, was seen with fellow St. Mungo’s healer, Parvati Patil (24), outside of Fortescue’s last week Friday. Anonymous sources say the two looked very cosy and appeared to be in a serious conversation. One brave man even attempted to approach the couple before realizing they had set up a powerful muffling spell.
What could possibly call for such a spell in broad daylight? Could it be they wanted to discuss upcoming nuptials without people overhearing? But if that were the case, why not wait till they were alone? Unless they planned to “soft launch” their relationship to the Wizarding World.
Sources say the two never interacted while in school. However, that isn’t to say they couldn’t have reconnected recently. Draco Malfoy, former DMLE lobbyist, current St. Mungo’s Mediwizard, has been seen interacting with our beloved Golden Trio. DMLE workers and the like say they’ve interacted on a handful of occasions. Perhaps our lovely Gryffindors saw an opportunity to set a fellow housemate up.
Stay tuned to learn more about our engaged couple! This author’s next article will provide quotes from our beloved couple. If they can’t be reached, fear not, for that is why friends exist.
Continue to Page 8-10 for more information on recent Draco Malfoy sightings.
Setting the Daily Prophet down, Harry turned towards the blond. “So, when were you planning on telling me of your engagement?”
“Pardon?”
“The Daily Prophet has taken the liberty of telling all of Wizarding Britain that you’re marrying Parvarti Patil.”
“And since when do you listen to that drivel?”
“I don’t hear you denying it.”
“Why yes, Potter, I’ve gotten engaged and forgotten to mention it,” the sarcasm dripping from his voice. Draco was amused to see how much this was affecting him.
“So it’s true then?” Harry pushed. He wasn’t sporting his usual playful glint; his green eyes were cold and unkind.
Draco was no longer amused. Harry looked far too serious for his liking.
“I don’t care to dignify that with a response.”
“I don’t like sharing,” Harry states.
“Let it be known I’m only entertaining this conversation because I find it extremely hot when you get like this. Parvati was simply helping me figure out some logistics. Which you’d know if you bothered to listen to me last night.”
“I had other things on my mind,” he recalled the bite marks he had the pleasure of leaving on Draco.
“You practically mauled me.”
“I call it staking my claim. besides, you certainly weren’t complaining.” Draco didn’t bother suppressing the eyeroll. He had half a mind to heal the bite marks just to annoy him.
Still, he debated keeping Harry on his toes a little longer. It would serve him right for not paying attention. Maybe he could even guilt-trip him into another shopping trip. Merlin only knows Harry could use new robes.
If it wasn’t for the fact he looked like someone killed his crup, he would’ve left him to suffer a tad bit more. Instead, he blurted out, “I want to become a muggle healer.”
Everything after that was a blur. Draco was tackled to the floor, snogged senseless, and then shagged thoroughly. Truly, if he’d known that’s how it was going to go, he would have told him a lot sooner.
“So you’ll write to the Prophet and tell them you’re not marrying Patil?”
“ You do it. I’ve an application to submit,” he said while rolling out of bed.
Harry did, in fact, contact the Daily Prophet. He took the liberty of informing all the other major papers too. It wasn’t his intention to out them as a couple just yet, but it’s just the way things worked out. At least that’s what he’d repeatedly told Draco when questioned.
He knew the blond wanted to make a “proper” entrance into society, but honestly, all they had to do was be seen together, and it’d be all over the papers.
And be all over the papers they were. They couldn’t be spotted alone without breakup rumors sprouting. Harry was almost offended that, in almost every iteration, he was the one who got dumped.
-◉-
“Ok… one more time, what are 4 excitatory neurotransmitters?” Harry asked.
He was sitting in the middle of their rather large, and exuberant bed while Draco sat at the desk. If Harry was being honest, he was a bit scared of his boyfriend at the moment. Draco was almost as bad, if not worse than Hermione, when it came to revising.
Harry had tried– numerous times– rather unsuccessfully to get Draco to tone down the amount of revising he was doing. He was even starting to learn the material at this point.
Draco contemplated for a moment before starting to list, “Acetylcholine, norepinephrine, dopamine, and- fuck! I know this, I know I do.”
Harry wondered not for the first time if he should perhaps get him to take a break. A quick snog would surely do wonders for his nerves. Maybe he could convince Draco to review gross anatomy instead. So what if that class was last semester? Reviewing never hurts.
“-Histamine! Specifically, receptors H1 and H2,” Draco blurted. Harry checked the notebook before grinning at his soon-to-be nurse, “Too right.”
Alright, soon-to-be nurse might’ve been exaggerating, considering he’d barely just started.
Let’s be honest, though, the pinning ceremony was basically around the corner. Harry was nearly lost in his daydreams when he noticed how quiet it was. No murmuring could mean bad things for him. Last time it earned him a pillow to the head. He was pleasantly surprised when he looked towards his lover and noticed his proud expression.
Some days, he still couldn’t believe how they got here. It was a story he loved telling Teddy. His godson was the best kid out there. He was so kind that it was reminiscent of Professor Lupin.
Sometimes he wondered what life would’ve been like if he got to experience Professor Lupin as Uncle Moony, to experience all the Marauders as the family they were. There wasn’t anyone left from his dad’s time. There were times when he was alone and wondered how different things could have been if Voldemort hadn’t killed his parents, or better yet, hadn’t become a dark lord in the first place.
Would he have siblings? Would Sirius and his brother have made up at some point? Would said brother become another uncle to him?
It was too much to think about. It made him antsy for a world that didn’t exist. He knows it could, theoretically. Hermione had drunkenly confessed to him that the Department of Mysteries held a singular semi-working Time Turner. They were working on getting it fully functioning.
Harry couldn’t help but think that when they managed to fix it, they should go back and defeat Voldemort before his rise to power.
He loved his life, he did. There were times, however, when he just needed his parents. A hug from his mum, telling him it’d be alright, or relationship advice from his dad. Knowing about the existence of the Time Turner was more of a curse than a gift.
Shaking off his maudlin thoughts, he brought his thoughts back to Teddy. Harry missed the poor bugger. He started primary school almost a year ago. Muggle primary school at that. Harry knew he shouldn’t be surprised, given that Andromeda married a muggle-born, but part of him thought she’d tutor Teddy at home to keep her company. Although she also wasn’t getting any younger, and Teddy, bless him, had a seemingly endless stream of energy.
Maybe he would ask Andromeda if he could take him for the upcoming holiday. It’d be nice for the house to be full of life again.
His life with Draco was better than he could’ve imagined. It was filled with witty comments, a dangerous amount of eye rolls, and soft morning kisses. Yet, sometimes it felt like something was missing. Teddy, at least for a little bit, made that feeling go away. Harry wasn’t sure he wanted to go down that rabbit hole just yet. But perhaps- in the future, when they weren’t so busy- he would consider sorting out his feelings.
Willing himself to focus again, he asked, “Ready to go again?”
Draco, who had closed his eyes at some point, kept them closed for just a second longer before nodding.
“What is the reticular activating system responsible for?” Harry asked.
Draco had a hard time with this specific part of the last lecture. So he had to be creative in how he remembered. “Reticular…the ending sounds a bit like ocular, and activating sounds like waking up,” he mumbled as he worked through it, “Ah! It’s responsible for wakefulness, arousal, and alertness.”
“Arousal, you say?” Harry questioned, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Not like that, you prat. Arousal as in state of awareness, now continue or I’ll kick your arse out early.”
“Alright alright, no need to get your knickers in a twist. For bonus points, where is the RAS located?”
“The brainstem,” Draco replied without missing a beat. Harry nodded before searching for something with a little more difficulty through the stack of notes.
“Oh, I like this one. It’s fun to say,” Harry ignored the glare sent his way and kept going. “The lack of vitamin B12 can cause what type of hematological issue?” The latter half of that sentence might have been said with a snooty voice. If asked, he was only channeling his inner professor. That did nothing to keep Draco from snorting, though.
“You’re sick, “fun to say,” you do know this affects real people, right?” His poorly concealed grin revealed he wasn’t serious. Sick bastards, both of them.
Harry rolled his eyes. “Well? What might the answer be?”
“I believe 'pernicious anemia' is what you’re looking for, but the lack of vitamin B12 is from the deficiency of intrinsic factor. It leads to poor absorption of the vitamin from the small intestines,” Draco explained.
The heme portion of the lessons was his favorite. Most muggle maladies didn’t affect wizards, but the same couldn’t be said for squibs and a small portion of some very unfortunate muggle-borns. Draco thought it would make for a fantastic research project– the Ministry did not. Statue of Secrecy and all that.
“You’re getting these too easily,” Harry sighed, “I’m supposed to be challenging you. How about we take a 5-minute break and come back?” They’d just wasted 5 minutes earlier daydreaming, but this time they were going to be productive about it.
Draco wanted to argue that he was being challenged, but he did feel like he was getting quicker at answering. At the same time, his brain felt like it was about to combust, so he conceded and went to prepare tea for them.
Most people would think him crazy for wanting to pursue muggle nursing when he was already a certified mediwizard. But most people didn’t know why he was doing it. Only two people knew all his reasons: Teddy and Pansy. Teddy, as it turned out, was very capable of keeping secrets. A slytherin in the making if Draco had any say in it. Pansy found out when he got stupidly sentimental after a few drinks.
For one, it was a matter of pride. If muggles could do it, then Draco, the perfectly talented wizard he was, could do it too. Too late, he found it was just as bad as being a mediwizard and with no magic to boot.
The difference being that instead of learning charms, spells, and wand movement, he was learning theory after theory. Then, putting it all into practice during “clinicals.”
It was a bit jarring to learn he’d be putting everything into practice when he’d only ever practiced in a controlled environment. It seemed barbaric, and if it didn’t break the Statue of Secrecy, he would give his professors the life-like dummies he used during his mediwizard schooling.
The second was because of Harry.
The twit just had to become an auror. There were so many career options he could’ve chosen from. But oh no, he had to choose the one that came with the side effect of giving Draco a mini heart attack every time he was sent into the field. Merlin forbid he choose a career that didn’t have the ability to send him into an early grave. It was something the blond was planning on working on. Harry hated his job half the time anyway, so it shouldn’t be too difficult.
It was actually a bonding point for him and Granger. Weasley joined the Aurors when Harry did. The two understood what it felt like to wait anxiously for news. Then there was the matter of whether they’d ended up in St. Mungo’s. More than once, Draco was glad he apologized and made amends. It was nice to have someone who could relate.
There was only so much magic could do. Some injuries needed to be dealt with the muggle way. Draco wanted to be the one to heal them.
Sooner or later, Harry would crave peace above all else and find a nice non-lethal career.
Draco scowled remembering Harry would probably find danger in a damn bookstore given his luck. He’d probably manage to have a bookshelf fall on him. Obviously, the only choice was to have him become a trophy husband.
Between the Malfoy and Potter fortunes, they had enough for a lifetime and then some. It was their desire to do something that stopped them from lazing about.
There was one job Draco was sure his lover would enjoy. It had everything he liked: being condescending (teaching), gremlins (children), and charity (less than ideal pay). Sadly, it would have to wait until the position opened, but it shouldn’t be too long now if his sources were correct.
He shook his head and finished preparing the tea. He brought it back to their room and waited for Harry to return. It was like he summoned him the way he sauntered into the room, not even a minute later.
“So I was thinking-”
“A bad sign already.”
“-What if I gave you symptoms instead of outright asking what a disease is?”
“Oh, that’s… not a bad idea actually.” Harry rolled his eyes. Seriously, Draco ought to have some faith in him; he did defeat a dark lord after all.
He made himself comfortable on the bed and started reading from the flash cards, “Ok, so I’m a 24-year-old male and I just woke up after someone beat the daylights out of me. I’m trying to speak, and it sounds all fluent, but it’s complete nonsense. I also can’t understand a word you’re saying,” he paused to show he was done, and watched Draco work through it.
“It’s a type of aphasia, I know that much. It’ll be between Broca and Wernicke,” Draco muttered, furrowing his brows in thought, “Broca sounds like broken. Broken mouth- very little vocabulary and poor articulation. Wernicke…fluent speech and impaired listening.”
Nodding to himself, Draco answered, “Wernicke Aphasia final answer.” Harry smiled in response.
“My boyfriend’s so smart he’ll be top of the class in no time-” He was cut off when the sound of the floo alerted him that his guest had arrived.
“Did you invite someone over?” Draco questioned.
Harry winced, “She was supposed to owl first.” Before he could continue, a loud, shrill voice cut through. “Draco darling, I’ve come to rescue you.”
The clack of her heels echoed through the hall as she reached their bedroom. Harry briefly thought this was what happened in muggle horror movies– the victims frozen in fear while their tormentor got closer. Except in this case, it’d just be Harry as the victim. Cause of death? His irate boyfriend.
Truly, he knew he was taking a gamble in inviting Parkinson over for “revisions.” That was the pretense they were using. In reality, she was there to destress him. Draco more often than not ended up gossiping with her for hours . It would be endearing if it didn’t bar Harry from his own bedroom at times. Suffice to say, Draco tended to stay away from her when he was trying to focus. Harry was of the mind that she would be helpful here. He’d even consider starting to call her Pansy if she managed to prove him right.
Just then the door blew open with a bang, and she sauntered in as if she owned the place. Perhaps he wouldn’t be calling her Pansy after all.
“Pansy…what in Merlin’s name are you doing here?” Draco asked with a pinched expression.
Part of him was elated, and the other filled with dread. He could already feel his traitorous mouth start to move on its own. But Draco wasn’t weak. He would not break, at the very least he wouldn’t be first. Pansy had no such reservations. She smirked before opening her mouth.
“Did you hear-”
“Yes! Oh Merlin it was so-”
“Horrid! I know! I can’t believe he-”
“He?! What about her ?!”
“Don’t even get me started on…”
Their voices fade as Harry slips out of the room. He stretches as he walks to the kitchen and the satisfying crunch of his bones fills the silence. Bringing her over was a brilliant idea. Draco would get the chance to relax and catch up with his friend.
Harry lets out a satisfied sigh as he lies down on the sofa for a nap. The exhaustion he wasn’t aware of readily takes him in its embrace, escorting him to the land of dreams.
-◉-
It was a night like any other. Except it wasn’t. Any other night Draco wouldn’t feel an impending doom in his chest.
“Harry”
“Hm?”
“I’m scared.”
“You’ve been studying day and night, love. You know the material.”
“But what if I don’t? What if it’s not enough? I’ve classmates who pour hours into studying, and they don’t always fare well.”
Harry knows Draco like the back of his hand. Draco hates being vulnerable, even now. He has a perfectionist complex. It’s gotten better over the years, and he’s able to lean on Harry now.
“Draco, you are not your classmates. You studied, reviewed, and reviewed again. You even went to the library and figured out how to use a computer to review,” Harry paused and thought about his next words. “There’s not much more you can do.”
“But is it enough?” Draco stressed. It was clear this had been eating away at him for a while now. Probably the whole week leading up to the final.
“What causes vasopressin to be released?”
“The osmoreceptors in the hypothalamus sense an increased pressure in plasma osmolality.”
“And what does that mean?”
“The blood is too concentrated and needs to be diluted. Vasopressin’s other name is antidiuretic hormone. When it’s released, it’ll increase the permeability of the distal renal tubules and collecting ducts, leading to water reabsorption.”
“Right, so what does that mean for urinary output?”
“It’ll become more concentrated. Since the water is essentially being retained in the body.”
“Sorry, just one more question, maybe two. Where’s this also being released from? And what’s it targeting?”
“The posterior pituitary gland is doing all the releasing, it targets the kidneys. You’d be surprised by how much the kidneys do.”
“Mmm, love, see how you were able to answer all those questions? You’re ready, ” Harry said while smiling.
“ Fuck I love you,” Draco says, releasing a shaky breathe.
“I love you, too.”
“I’m still scared.”
“That’s okay. Just trust me when I say that I know you’ll be fine. I’ve a knack for these sorts of things. I believe enough for both of us.” Another shaky breath in and Draco nods. He trusts Harry with his life and has yet to lead him astray.
-◉-
The night before the exam, Draco started to panic again. It was too much. There was too much pressure. Everyone was watching: friends, family, and strangers who thought they had the right to know about his life.
Merlin and Morgana, there wasn’t enough air. His chest felt tight. He couldn’t stop thinking about the “what-ifs.” He had failed an exam before, and the same horrible feeling was back. Draco remembered exactly what it felt like.
He remembered opening his results with bated breath. He was so worried, and oh was he right too. That exam took ten years off his life. He remembered feeling the ground give away. It was too hard to breathe. That wretched feeling of his heart dropping, the burn behind his eyes, and the lump stuck in his throat.
Draco wasn’t good enough.
That was the truth he was dealing with. All his hard work wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough. He was never enough. Why even attempt to become a muggle healer? He had a nice life as a mediwizard.
He remembered how much he wanted to give up. It would’ve been so easy too. Draco was a wizard for Merlin’s sake.
If he wanted to disappear, he would’ve. But he didn’t, not for lack of methods, but because, for all his whining, he wanted to live . He wanted to be a healer, in both the muggle and wizarding worlds. Above all, he wanted someone to hold him, to tell him it’d be alright.
He didn’t want to remember anymore, but he was too far gone. Draco was lost in the memories and feelings of the past.
“Draco? Draco love you’re shaking,” Harry stepped closer and wrapped his arms around him. When Harry stepped into the room, Draco had no idea. His mind was focused on one thing only. He felt like an outsider in his own body, watching everything happen instead of living it.
Harry knew he needed to be grounded. To be brought to the present, no matter how painful. Pain meant you were alive enough to feel it. Harry tightened his hold on Draco, and he felt more than heard Draco release a shaky breath. “It’s alright, I got you.”
Those words opened the floodgates. Something broke inside Draco then. Once he let one tear go, they all went. His body wracked with sobs. His body wasn’t his own anymore. It belonged to sorrow and despair. They sunk their claws deep into his heart. He felt so cold .
There wasn’t enough air.
“Fuck- Fuck Draco match my breathing.” Harry’s voice was muffled to Draco. He felt like he was underwater. Harry called his name again, and Draco tried to listen. It was so bloody difficult.
“Come on, love, in four seconds. Yeah, that’s it, hold it for me, ok? Seven seconds now.” Harry wished he could take away all his pain, but he couldn’t. He could hold him, though, and be with him. “Out for eight seconds now.”
At some point, Draco’s hands found the front of Harry’s shirt, and he held on like there was no tomorrow. The tears hadn’t stopped, but his breathing was at least back to normal. Small wins.
Harry held him and whispered words of comfort that were lost in Draco’s sobs. He wasn’t unaware of how stressed Draco was feeling, but he didn’t know the extent. He was good at hiding it. Too good. Draco bottled up his feelings until he couldn’t. Until they made themselves known and made him burst at the seams.
Neither Harry nor Draco knew how much time had passed. Draco wasn’t even aware of when they’d made it to the floor.
“I’m sorry,” Draco croaked. Harry wordlessly passed him some water. “Don’t apologize. Not for this.”
“I’m- I’m terrified about tomorrow. I can’t help but think it’s a repeat of last time.”
“I hear you, it's hard. I can’t imagine the kind of stress you're under, but you should know I will always be on your side. I’d follow you to hell and back.”
“You defeated Voldemort, this isn’t nearly as stressful.”
“It’s not the same. Dying is easier than living. Love what you’re doing is wonderful. You’re studying to become a healer, a muggle healer. They don’t use magic, so I imagine it’d be a bit of an adjustment.”
“It shouldn’t be. I should be adjusted already.”
“You just started. It’ll take some time. By the end of it you’ll be a bloody fantastic nurse.” That got a small smile out of Draco. “Come, let's have a cuppa and head to bed, hm?”
Draco gave a small nod and followed him to the kitchen.
-◉-
Harry was right.
As it turned out, Draco was enough. He did know the material. Perhaps not as well as he would’ve liked, but certainly enough to pass the exam.
A weight was lifted off his chest when the scores were released. He could finally breathe again. Harry, being the wonderful person he was, took him out to celebrate.
The night ended with copious amounts of firewhisky and roaming hands. Harry’s warm hands made tantalizing touches over Draco’s cool skin. It was borderline indecent considering they were still in public.
Draco was practically dragging him to the floo back to their flat. Harry was, above all, a tease. Given the opportunity, he’d work Draco up and then leave him to suffer. Harry loved the way he made Draco squirm.
A touch here, a small pinch there. His pale skin would become flushed with every move Harry made. It was addictive. He loved hearing how strained his voice would become, especially when they were in public.
To others, it would look like something got stuck in his throat, but Harry knew it was because of him.
He was doing that. He was the only one allowed to touch Draco like that. He was the reason behind Draco’s noises. Oh Merlin, the noises. Draco made such lovely noises. He’d whine, and if Harry played his cards right, he’d beg.
His begging was downright delicious. It all went straight to his prick. The begging was the precursor to Harry’s end. He’d unravel after that, no more teasing. He’d pound into Draco until his voice became hoarse from all the screaming.
Harry considered soundproofing their room at times. Silencing charms were a thing, but he had to pause his ministrations to do that. A few seconds not touching Draco was too much.
Nonetheless, he never forgot to do them. Draco’s noises belonged to him and only him. Draco had a different view on the matter. He didn’t mind if people knew what Harry did to him.
It didn’t matter if other people heard because that’s all they’d ever get to do.
Draco was Harry’s, and Harry was Draco’s.
-◉-
DRACO MALFOY, CHOSEN ONE’S BOYFRIEND: ANGEL IN DISGUISE?
By: Rita Skeeter
Draco Malfoy (25), Chosen One’s Boyfriend, former DMLE lobbyist, current St. Mungo’s Mediwizard, is alleged to be seeking an education in the muggle world! My dear readers, as you might remember, last year Malfoy was spotted with Parvati Patil (25).
Patil was revealed to have been informing him on how muggles went about becoming healers. Could this be a new adventure for our dearest couple? Is it possible that our Savior Harry Potter (25) is planning on running away to the muggle world with his beloved?
As we all know, Draco Malfoy is an excellent Mediwizard. He is efficient and resourceful. St. Mungo’s reports a lower level of mortality rates since he joined. It would be terrible to lose him. But it makes one wonder what kind of person Malfoy is.
Those poor muggles are trying their best to survive without magic. Our dearest Draco is so kind in wanting to learn their ways so he can help them. He’s an angel! It’s no wonder he ended up with our Savior. Only he would think of performing such a community service. It seems to be an homage to his partner's background.
It’s swoon-worthy, that’s for sure. One does hope he has no plans on leaving Wizarding Britain. St. Mungo’s has refused to comment on the current employment status of our favorite Mediwizard, but sources say he is still working. We can only hope it stays that way! Till next time!
Continue to Page 7-13 for more information on recent Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter sightings.
“They called me an angel this time.”
“Watch, next they’ll be building you a statue.”
“Jealous, dear?”
“You wish.”
Draco did wish a little. He loved Harry, and as far as he knew, he deserved to be worshipped by everyone on earth.
All the same, he was glad he was the only one allowed to.