Chapter Text
It had been two years.
Two long, angry, broken, grief stricken, denial filled, hopeful years, and Rose had spent every waking moment - and let's be honest, most of her sleeping hours as well - trying to make her way back to the Doctor.
And now here he was. They sat side by side in the backseat of what was probably the only cab that existed in this tiny Norwegian town, their hands clasped tightly together on the seat between them. Rose watched their fingers out of the corner of her eye, mesmerized by the metronomic flashes of light from street lamps that passed overhead every few seconds. He held onto her hand like she might fly away like a helium balloon if he let go for a second. It hurt a little, but she didn't mind, because his hand was finally in hers again.
But it had been two years.
Two years spent not knowing for certain whether he loved her back, because she'd never heard the words. Two years wondering if he'd moved on. Two years to dwell on the fact that they had never really been a couple, had they? Not officially. What if every second of those two years she spent away from him was a step away from them?
Oh, she had no questions about herself. She had loved this man in all his forms with every fibre of her flesh, every corner of her soul since the day they met, and she would love him until the end of the earth itself - she'd been there, after all, she had the proof.
But she'd spent every second of the past two years wondering if he would, too.
Apparently, the answer was yes. She still hadn't taken that in properly.
It wasn't a simple situation. It was never going to be black and white. But Rose had learned a lot about regret, and what she'd learned was that it was only the chances she didn't take that haunted her. In that moment on the beach, she had made her decision. She decided to choose joy, to choose the life she could actually be happy in, with the man who wasn't afraid of it. She would never regret that.
All that was left was to find out what two years apart had done to them.
Rose glanced at the Doctor, who was watching the dark scenery pass by with a slightly dazed expression. A blue bruise was starting to blossom on his jaw, and she wondered if he'd bumped against something while he and Donna were being thrown around in the TARDIS. Thinking back, she was surprised to realize she couldn't remember ever having seen him injured before. She didn't like it. Her hand squeezed his involuntarily, hating that she hadn't been there to prevent his body being damaged, oddly protective of it. She wanted to tell every sharp corner, hands off my boy.
He returned the squeeze, and turned to her with a soft smile, very much as if he'd been surprised out of a daydream.
“Tired?” She asked softly, trying not to wake her mum who was snoozing in the front seat. The Doctor nodded, looking like even that movement was nearly too much for him.
“I knew you lot had lower stamina, but I had no idea…”
“We lot,” she corrected him, biting her tongue with her signature lopsided grin, “you're part of our feeble race now.” He remained staring at her mouth with a soppy smile, like her expression had turned off his brain somehow. “Don't worry,” she said, giving his hand another squeeze, “we'll get you some sleep soon.”
“Sleep. Ugh.” He sighed, dropping his head back against the cushions. “Feels pathetic, but I can barely keep my eyes open. Will it be like this every day?”
“Well, today's sort of your first day… alive, yeah? Not to mention it was a pretty, uh, hectic one. I'm a lot more tired than normal, too.”
“First day alive,” he mused, looking back out the window. “Huh.”
Rose let silence fall again, relieved that it didn't feel uncomfortable to sit quietly together. Yes, there were half a million things to say. But they didn't have to be said right now.
A quarter of an hour later they were finally pulling into the parking lot of a modest but comfortable looking hotel. They woke Jackie, who even in her groggy state immediately took charge.
“Rooms will be charged to Torchwood. I made sure I had the chip with me.” She led the way inside, leaving the other two following slowly behind, privately thinking the same thing, about that pluralised word, ‘rooms’. In another lifetime Rose might have been suggested saving the money and cramming into one room together, but working for a company that was richer than god meant trying to save funds was redundant. It would have drawn more focus, not less, to the real reason she might be embarrassed about the necessity for separate rooms.
The woman behind the desk was too efficient to leave time to comment, even if they'd wanted to. By the time Rose and the Doctor joined Jackie at the counter she'd already checked them in and handed them a set of magnetic swipe keys.
“You're 317. I told the girl to let you use the card; if you wanna get room service go for it. Dunno about you, but I haven't eaten since seven am. Night, kids.” She gave them each a quick hug, kissing Rose on the cheek before trudging down the hall that led to the ground floor suites. Without a word, the Doctor turned to lead the way to the elevator, glancing back behind him and holding his hand out for her to take it.
Alright, perhaps there was some amount of that awkward silence possible between them, after all. Maybe it was all just on her side, but Rose tried desperately to think of anything at all to say on the short elevator ride and came up empty.
If the Doctor felt any of the same nervousness, he didn't show it. They found their room and gave matching grunts of discomfort when the Doctor turned on the overhead light. He immediately clicked it back off again.
“Bedside lamp,” Rose said, yawning and unzipping her jacket. She faltered then, eyes moving between the two queen beds she'd been about to toss her jacket on. Obviously she wanted to share a bed with the Doctor. That seemed obvious to her. But would it be so obvious to him? They'd hugged and held each other at every excuse during their years together, but they'd never slept together, even in the literal, innocent sense. They'd never shared a bed.
“How would—”
“Toothbrushes!” Rose's tentative question was cut short by the Doctor's sudden outburst. “Toothpaste… The tardis used to take care of that sort of thing.” He patted his coat pockets and dug much deeper than Rose thought possible. “Sometimes she fills my pockets with stuff she thinks I might need…” He went suddenly red and pulled his hand out of his inside pocket as if it had bitten him. “... No Toothbrush.”
“No problem. The concierge usually carries things like that. I'll go down. Anything else you think you'll want?”
The Doctor fiddled with the bedspread for a moment before finally glancing almost shyly up at her from under his brow.
“Bottle of bubbly?”
“Yeah?” A giddy thrill passed through Rose's stomach, and she felt suddenly a lot less tired.
“Why not?… We have a lot to celebrate.”
"Thought you were exhausted."
"Well... I am..." He sidled closer, hands deep in his pockets, watching her face carefully. "But today's been a lot. It'd still be nice to decompress before bed." He lifted a hand and tucked a strand of hair behind Rose's ear. "That alright?"
“Okay.” She pulled both lips in between her teeth, successfully containing the sudden rush of giddiness. She would very much like to tackle him onto the bed, and they'd tickle each other until other instincts took over. Instead she leaned in, turning at the last moment to plant a long and lingering kiss on his cheek. She watched his throat bob dramatically as she pulled away. “Right back.”
Rose felt like she was walking on champagne bubbles all the way to the elevator. After picking up toothbrushes, toothpaste, and deodorant, she peeked at the late night menu, ordering a decently fancy sparkling wine and a chocolate mousse, courtesy of Torchwood. He always did like licking things… maybe she could put that to use.
She headed back to the elevator feeling a little lightheaded. Every few minutes it struck her again where she was, who she was with. He'd chosen to come home with her. He hadn't had to. He could have run off to live his human life in freedom, leaving the Time Lord to sort out their messy relationship. Instead, he'd given it all up for her. He didn't even blink.
She loved him so much. And he loved her.
The Doctor was in the elevator when it opened, and he started slightly at the sight of Rose.
“... Ice,” he said lamely, holding up a plastic bucket as she joined him in the lift. Despite having just stated the purpose of his outing, he appeared to forget it as soon as Rose was there with him.
"I think they will bring ice with the wine," Rose said, as the doors shut behind her.
"Right." The Doctor's eyes were trained on her mouth again, that vacant expression falling over him once more. There was a thud as the bucket slipped from his hand and bounced across the floor, and the Doctor took hold of Rose's face. He leaned in close, backing her up into the corner of the lift and breathing heavily against her mouth. Her own hands grasped his wrists, her heart instantly going into overdrive. It felt like like the pull between them was enough to tear her heart straight out of her chest, but he held back. Whether it was nerves, exhaustion, or intentional suspense, the Doctor was being the world's biggest tease.
"You gonna kiss me or what?"
He didn't reply. Instead, he reached over, flipping open the emergency panel below the lift buttons, and without looking tore at the wires with one hand. The lift jerked to a halt, and the fluorescent lights overhead went out, replaced by a dim glow of emergency lighting. Finally replacing his hand on her cheek, the Doctor pressed himself hard up against her, pinning her to the wall with his skinny torso. He ground against her with his pelvis, making her gasp. This was new.
"Yes, please," he whispered, and covered her mouth with his own.
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