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“I’m going for a flight.” Starscream’s voice was tight, Shockwave just waved him off to do as he pleased.
“Perhaps it will help you see my logic.” He replied, turning back to his project. Starscream would return after his flight and see that Shockwave’s logic was flawless. It was silly to even consider Starscream’s opinions on giving up their fight, what would the point of having the twins even existing in the first place if they gave up?
Perhaps Starscream was simply letting himself get stuck in those memories of his, the irrational melancholy that plagued the seeker was likely giving him a desire to take defeat and leave their vengeance to rot. No matter, Shockwave would keep Starscream on the path and be the logical guiding light for whenever Starscream’s irrational emotions spiked. He’d done so before, when the twins were emerging and the seeker’s fears left him paralyzed. Starscream simply couldn’t see this yet, but Shockwave would remain calm and patient with the sensitive seeker. He’d understand in due time.
Shockwave continued his work with rapt focus, tweaking and perfecting CNA strands for the next batch of predacons; he almost didn’t feel time pass until his fuel notification popped into his HUD. That was what brought him out of his workflow and made him stop his work, Starscream always told him to refuel before the notification popped up, regardless of if they’d ‘argued’ it never stopped the seeker from telling him to fuel up. Things would typically return to normal and they’d talk about their disagreements in a calmer manner after that. Shockwave carefully took a feeding cable from the compartment on his cannon arm and looked around to see that Starscream still wasn’t back, he tried not to focus on how his tanks churned with foreign emotions.
It will be fine
, he thought to himself before he saw the twins pacing nervously over Starscream’s prolonged absence.
“Darksteel, Skylynx, if you are so concerned for Starscream’s wellbeing then go on and check on him.” The two would snap Starscream out of his funk and encourage the seeker to come home. That being said, it would make the twins stop pacing around his very delicate experiments and reduce the risks of any loss of progress.
The twins eagerly left the lab and Shockwave was free to return to his tasks, observing the readings he was getting from his datapad while also ignoring how the quiet seemed to only be louder nowadays. The constant noise in his lab these days provided him better focus in a strange way, especially when it was Starscream venting his frustrations over an experiment or the twins breaking something. There was something about the seeker’s company that became surprisingly pleasant.
From the moment they had returned to Cybertron Starscream had been quieter, less boastful, and happier . The jet’s mood increased more when he obtained his former frame, seeing Starscream’s mental health rise at that point had brought a positive feeling to Shockwave himself. He couldn't explain why seeing Starscream happy made him feel the way he did, but he chalked it off as Starscream showed his scientific prowess off. The seeker was an even better value when he was happy, so Shockwave logically wanted Starscream to be happy even if it meant temporarily halting projects.
“Perhaps Starscream needs another pause in the plan… I will have to discuss it further.” Shockwave ex-vented, slightly annoyed that he needed to do another halt to their vengeance for the sake of Starscream’s comfort. The seeker would make it up to him though, as he often did.
His thoughts were disrupted when he heard Darksteel and Skylynx return to the lap, his finials rose up quickly when he realized that Starscream’s pedefalls were not with the twins. The tank turned to look over at his charges, seeing their saddened faces made his spark beat irregularly.
“Where is Starscream?” He asked, his finials flattening to his helm when he saw them hesitate before Skylynx began to explain.
“He… left the planet, said he needed to get someone and bring them back. He said…” Skylynx was still talking, but Shockwave had all but tuned his charge’s voice out as his processor illogically focused on the first four words.
He left the planet.
He left the planet.
Starscream left Cybertron.
Left him behind…
Again.
The twins were no longer talking now, just looking at him with concern when an unfamiliar growl escaped him. Shockwave took in a deep vent, straightening himself out and composing just long enough to shoo them away to their chambers.
“Go. I have work to attend to.” He ordered, watching the twins hesitate briefly before they obeyed and left to their room, mumbling to each other worriedly while Shockwave turned back to his work and checked on his datapad. His mood only worsened when he looked down and saw that the screen was cracked and dented in from how tightly he was gripping the electronic. It cracked further when Shockwave slammed it down onto his work desk, the tank struggled to curb how his irrationality was just that. Shockwave however, couldn’t logic things out in his head because now he was scolding himself for allowing himself to be used to Starscream’s presence. The pattern was plain as day, and yet Shockwave believed in a foolish fallacy that Starscream would stay .
Even after being left for dead by him on Cybertron.
Even after being left for dead when he was disposing of his first predacon project on Earth.
Foolishly, he believed Starscream would stay after he saved his life, gave him his former frame, and granted him access to all his scientific equipment. Shockwave felt something ache in his sparkchamber as he threw the datapad containing Starscream’s frame schematics into a wall, roughly shoved the seeker’s favorite desk perch out of place, and stormed to the space the seeker was using for his personal scientific ventures. The tank raised an arm up to swipe everything off, to ruin all the work that Starscream took with pride…
He found that he couldn't do it though, especially when he saw the flourishing sample of resurrected Cyber-Lillies that had bloomed thanks to Starscream’s work. Shockwave’s anger was sapped in an instant, lowering his servo slowly to gently touch one of the petals as he tried to think more clearly on the situation while he looked at the flora that he vaguely recalled being one of the seeker’s favorite flowers back when the planet was full of life. Shockwave felt his vents open to expel the hot air built up in his system as he lightly adjusted the lily's placement on Starscream’s table, ensuring that it wouldn’t fall off.
“He will come back… for the twins, and his work.” Shockwave uttered out as he turned away from the flowers and worked on correcting the mess he made in his anger.
Yes, Starscream would return. Shockwave was sure.
He just wasn’t sure if the seeker would come back for him.
--
With Starscream’s absence, the routine had changed for Shockwave and his charges. The tank had found himself with very little time for his personal projects in the past two weeks. Now that he was the sole guardian of the twins, he was the one that had to be present to observe their growing flight prowess whenever they asked him to. With the seeker gone, the twins took turns in reminding him to fuel in between the work he did. His own projects stagnated as he focused more on the tasks that Starscream had been doing in the background while he had been focused solely on his personal projects. The twins had taken about a week to really even come around to him taking care of them, leading Shockwave to realize that he hadn’t been nearly as involved in either Darksteel or Skylynx’s development as he had been for Predaking.
The three of them missed Starscream, that much was clear in how they acted in order to fill the space. Darksteel tried to put on a put-together facade, Skylynx worked on his combat skills so he coils protect them at a moment’s notice… and Shockwave? He tended to Starscream’s projects, calculated the likelihood of the seeker coming back, and assured the twins that Starscream would come back for the two of them no matter how long it would take. There was always the single question that looped over and over in his processor.
Would Starscream return for Shockwave?
It bothered the cyclops to realize that he didn’t know the answer to the question.
Shockwave found himself getting quieter as the third week rolled around with no sign of Starscream. He looked around the space that no longer felt quite right anymore and couldn’t help but wonder how things no longer really felt complete without the seeker, why he was focusing on Starscream’s projects instead of his own, and why he kept the space the exact same. Every tool and project remained where Starscream had carefully arranged it. It was so illogical of him to be acting as he was and yet Shockwave didn’t feel comfortable changing this new routine he had built up. Even now, as he carefully taught Darksteel and Skylynx how to extract CNA from a fossilized fauna, Shockwave made sure that all the tools would return back to their proper spot. Maybe it was an irrational hope that when Starscream returned, he’s stay.
“Shockwave?” Skylynx chirped, knocking the tank from his thoughts. His gaze flicked to his charge and saw that the young predacon had brought his caretaker’s cube of synthetic energon. Shockwave managed a small grunt as he took the portion and carefully fuled himself while Skylynx sat down beside him.
“He’s gonna come back,” Skylynx begins, “he’s probably on his way back now.”
Illogical delusions, Skylynx had no means of knowing where Starscream was. Shockwave nearly said as much, but then he noticed that Skylynx seemed to be saying it more for himself. The youngling wanted assurance from someone older, and Shockwave was his only option. To seek him out even when he knew that the tank didn’t usually deal in delusion? Shockwave felt a twinge in his spark before he nodded slowly.
“He may take some time to return, but he will return for you and your brother.” Shockwave assured, nodding when Skylynx let out a little rumble of ease and left with his spirits risen. The older tank watched as Skylynx walked away, his processor off somewhere else as his only servo brushed against one of Starscream’s datapads. His attention focused on the device for several moments before he turned it on and read through the seeker’s notes about his flora and fauna restoration.
Then he read Starscream’s studies on cybermatter.
By the time he reached Starscream’s plans for emergency energon storage methods, a new revelation hit Shockwave so hard that he needed to sit back down.
Starscream had been checked out of the war for some time now, he was more focused on repairing Cybertron. When had his and Starscream’s goals become misaligned? Why hadn’t he said anything sooner?
Shockwave’s optic sharpened and examined each work that Starscream wrote, analysing each detail like it would be the key to telling him why the seeker left him behind. Then when he could no longer focus on the works written, Shockwave set the datapad down and let himself really think on his last argument with Starscream, the points he made, then that last desperate question the seeker asked.
“Aren’t you tired of fighting?”
It upset Shockwave now… because Starscream was right ; He was very tired of fighting. Vowing vengeance, an irrational moment in time that Shockwave had hung onto because he thought Starscream was thinking the same thing and that they were in sync. Then Shockwave realized something: had Megatron not met his demise, they would have wasted the cybermatter, he would never have known Starscream’s scientific skulls, and the two of them would have never made Darksteel and Skylynx.
Reflecting on it, Megatron’s death had been a benefit to Shockwave. He gained a lab partner, his projects moved on a schedule, and his charges existed. The tank’s gaze remained focused on the flourishing Cyber-Lilies as he thought about what he wanted now that the want for vengeance died out in him.
What he wanted?
He wanted his Lab Partner back.
His spark ached painfully as he quietly admitted to himself that Starscream had been leaving a much larger impression on him than he originally thought.
Ex-venting, Shockwave gently caressed one of the Cyber-Lilies’ petals, his processor jumbled and his spirit very tired… but a little ping from his main console caught his and the twins’ attention.
It was Starscream’s signal, popping back online seemingly out of nowhere and in the ruins of Vos. A wave of relief hit Shockwave before a return of anger as the seeker didn’t even try to comm any of them to say he was returning. Shockwave wouldn’t let the seeker out of his sight after this. He didn’t say a word as he left the lab and transformed, the twins were quick to follow him though they were abuzz with excitement over Starscream being back. Neither of them seemed to notice their creator’s turbulent emotions as they traveled to Vos, Starscream would notice it though, he always noticed the subtle changes.
Shockwave thought of everything he wanted to say to Starscream, but he settled on a few words to say as he neared the ruins of Vos and spotted the seeker’s vibrant colors, he transformed, ready to verbally lay Starscream out.
“I do not find your recent abandonment of myself and our creations to be amusing, Starscream.” He growled out slightly, then he saw Starscream’s broken expression and paused entirely when the proud seeker apologized to him. The mix of anger and relief quickly morphed into a calmer more observant feeling, he studied Starscream and the corpse painted in intricate swirls and angles, patterns he’s seen Vosians paint on their deceased loved ones, whoever this was… meant the world to Starscream.
Shockwave ignored the illogical jealousy that briefly bloomed and motioned for Starscream to finish his mourning, there would be time to talk later. Starscream needed to feel his emotions, and Shockwave would be his guiding light back to their new normal…
Perhaps, this time, without vengeance as the goal. Peace sounded rather logical to Shockwave’s processor now that Starscream was back home.