Chapter Text
“Is Max okay?”
Charles’ voice is strained, he sounds choked as if those words were hard to pronounce. There’s no reply from the other side, so he asks again, louder this time just in case somehow the connection got wonky and his race engineer didn’t hear him. He sounds more desperate the second time, hands gripping the steering wheel harder but he can’t push the car to go faster, not when a red flag is out.
It takes moments way too long before he hears it “He’s okay, Charles. Max got out of the car.”
The tense and pain of his aching heart vanishes, relaxing back into his seat, calming his anxious heart down, just 5 more laps behind the safety can and he’ll be able to check on his beloved.
-O-O-O-
With no time to waste, barely even interested in celebrating his P1 podium finish at home, Charles quickly races to the Red Bull garage. He hasn’t heard much information but Max got out after the horrific crash and they’re giving him immediate medical attention. No bleeding injuries of any kind but it seems like he did knock his head pretty hard with the helmet and all.
There’s a tiny crowd around the driver who’s on the chair, the doctor is next to him, asking questions while Charles wedges in between the crowd, sharing a concerned look with Max’s race engineer. Christian shows up not long later to disperse the crowd, leaving behind only the medical officers, himself, GP and of course, Charles.
“He’s going to be fine.” Christian supportively says, patting Charles’ back. The Monegasque nods once, not because he agrees but because he’s hopeful that it’s the truth.
Once the medical doctor is done with his check, he ushers them further away, sighing as he whispers his findings.
“No internal bleeding, he’s thankfully well. The head hit has… unfortunately caused him some temporary memory loss but we don’t think this will be a long term issue. He has some trouble remembering the crash and events before it.”
Charles’ emotions went from relief to immediate worry again; a roller coaster of thoughts filled his head.
“I’ve asked him some questions, he seems to be functional day to day but… the last couple of years are gone to him.”
“What- what does that mean?!” Charles is quick to shout.
“The Max Verstappen sitting there right now… isn’t 28 years old. In his head he’s regressed back to being 19 or 20….”
“What?!” The Team Principal and the Ferrari driver share a similar response.
“It’s short term effect, he will regain his memory in a couple of months… Just try not to overload his head with new information which means no social media, no phones, no computer… It's best he just relaxes and keeps his head in a good mood. He might still be able to race when he’s cleared of injuries but take note that he doesn’t have the experience anymore.”
This is devastating, Charles frowns, heart aching to know that at this stage of life, he isn’t anyone but a rival on track to Max. Their relationship didn’t fully bloom until they were 25, they are now years too early for anything. This is terrible but at least he isn’t in any critical danger.
“We need to be very tactful with him.” Christian sighs loudly, he tries to keep it hidden but he’s pretty shaken by the results “...Max at this age is quite… emotional.” he must be having flashbacks of dealing with young hot tempered blood thirsty for the win Verstappen.
“Oh no.” GP adds on with a hand over his mouth.
“...It is safe to tell him important things but just not all at once…” The doctor advises, they continue talking about more medical things but Charles has zoned out, eyes looking at Max who’s still seated there with his hand on his head and eyes closed.
This person isn’t his mon chéri, technically he is but not without the memories. They didn’t have a blow out of a confession after crashing their cars all those years ago, Max didn’t kiss him on the balcony of his home when he asked Charles to officially date him, Charles didn’t dedicate his second Monaco win to the love of his life, they didn’t organize a dinner with their team to break the news, they didn’t buy a luxury penthouse together, they didn’t spend every night in each other’s arms— this Max Verstappen is fresh out as a rookie, hungry for his first championship win.
“Charles, calm down…” GP puts a hand on his shoulder, noticing how solemn his eyes looked must have raised some concerns. “He’s going to be okay.”
“...I should not be here… you all should catch him up to speed but maybe leave out the part about me, it might be hard for him to… accept it.”
Christian shakes his head in disagreement “Charles, he needs you now more than ever, I think we should tell him, he will find out eventually. The media will talk, we cannot shield him from the relationship.”
The Monegasque nibbles his bottom lip, fiddling anxiously as he glances over at Max.
“I do not know at this age… if Max has come to terms with himself about liking… men and women.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t want to confuse him or anything. It is hard to accept, in his mind right now we must still be rivals or something.”
“...Are you sure, Charles?”
Charles contemplates, he blinks away what could be worry and sad tears in his eyes, knowing he has to be the stronger one this time. “Yes. I will figure out his living arrangements, for now just fill him in on racing and contact his family. He should have minimum interactions with the media and press. Keep his phone away from him too…” he knows Max’s wallpaper is a picture of Charles kissing his cheek, from their vacation to Switzerland last year.
“Okay. Let’s keep in touch.” The Team Principal nods and they part ways right after.
-O-O-O-
Returning to their shared penthouse alone, Charles is in a terrible headspace but he moves with precision, he packs up enough warm clothes and attire for Max. All his favorite hoodies, worn shorts and t-shirts, socks and sweatpants. He feels sad as he packs up, a bit of Max away from their shared home, he wonders how long this will last and how cold the bed will be without his lover. Terribly stubborn and headstrong, he prays his dear beloved will recover soon.
While he sadly reminisces, there’s a sudden doorbell and Charles quickly composes himself, answering the door like he isn’t breaking apart.
Surprisingly Christian is there with a stressed out look, Max is right behind him staring at Charles when the door opens.
“Christian?! Why did you bring him–”
“Let me explain.” Christian leans closer to Charles “Charles, there’s no way out of this, he’s being insufferable… I cannot do this again.” The Team Principal sounds almost desperate, groaning and looking livid “Can we talk about this inside?”
“He’s not supposed to know yet!”
“Know what?” Max tilts his head, eyes wide with innocence and confusion. “Christian, why did you bring me to Charles’ place?”
Charles shoots a deadly glare and the Team Principal pleads “Please Charles, let us in.”
-O-O-O-
“I tried to explain to Max that because of his injuries, he should stay near the hospital, we booked a perfectly great hotel which will have everything you need and–”
“And I said I wanted to go home and nobody can tell me where that is.” Max huffs out impatiently, he looks so much older and mature but his entire stance and words makes it obvious that mentally he’s way younger.
“Max…”
“There’s no way I do not have a home. You said I live in Monaco, I want to go home and see it, see what I’ve done for myself in these couple of years. What? Do I have a wife and children waiting for me?” Max laughs it off like some sick joke, Charles internally feels his heart ache at the idea that this Max Verstappen is expecting a wife and children? Oh god no.
“I am not going anywhere except home. I’m not going to take my medication until I am home and will someone please give me my phone?!”
“I am too old for this.” Christian mumbles under his breath, tired and worn,he looks like he just had war flashbacks, Charles isn’t all that surprised, younger Max was fiercer and harder to tame, he mellowed out eventually but now he’s back in that similar headspace.
“...Am I… together with Charles?” Max suddenly says and Charles’ eyes go wide like saucer pans, a deer caught in headlights, his heart shakes, he doesn’t know what to respond with.
Max’s blue eyes go soft as he looks at him, before he glances around the home “...It’s the only logical explanation why Christian brought me here, right? And…” Max takes off his watch, Charles shuts his eyes tightly, knows where they fucked up their plan, he must have been handed his watch after the race and that isn’t just any watch, it was their first anniversary gift. Behind the expensive luxury timepiece are the words engraved ‘every second with you is my victory’.
“Which could mean anyone but the numbers right below…” Max’s thumb goes over the engraved lines, “33. 16. Those are our driver’s numbers right? I saw the 16 on the Ferrari… I’m number 1 now but… I remember.”
Max loudly repeats again “33. 16. 1. 1. Four digits… we’re both world champions?”
Charles slowly opens his eyes, he looks apologetic, nodding his head “I am sorry, Max. I did not want to tell you because we were not close when you were 20… we were not officially together until you’re 25… I don’t even know if you like men… or… you know… if you’re open and I am not going to hold it against you because you don’t have memories of us.”
Hearing the confirmation, Charles expects Max to be angry, to rage and call out the truth as lies but the Dutchman simply stands there in a bit of shock, pink across his cheeks as he blinks slowly. “So, we’re really together? Like… romantically.”
“Yeah?”
“And we bought a house together? This house.”
“Yes.”
“Wait- you’re my boyfriend?”
Christian groans out loud, throwing his hands in the air like he’s giving up “Yes, Max! You and Charles are romantically involved! Lovers, boyfriends- whatever you want to call it. You can’t stop talking about him all the time, we adore and hate you for it.”
Max gets embarrassed, his entire face is red, he covers it with his hand like he’s deep in thought, Charles only hopes he can understand what the mentally young man is thinking. “...I’m dating Charles Leclerc?” he whispers to himself.
“Yes, we were as surprised as you were.” The Team Principal huffs, turning his attention to Charles “I think you will have no problems handing him. Good luck, Charles. Rather you than me. I have a board of very angry directors to speak to so I will take my leave. Keep us posted on any updates, call me if you need me, you won’t need me.” he moves quickly, back to where he came from.
“Wait-! Christian! You can’t just leave him here—”
“Goodbye!” The door slams.
-O-O-O-
Charles slowly turns to Max, eyeing his lover top to toe, nothing except his mind has changed, this is still the man he dearly loves, he’s just… a little younger in the head now. Max awkwardly stands there, no idea what he should do or how he should move. The Monegasque smiles a little “Have a seat, I will get you something to eat and drink.”
The younger male does exactly as he’s told, plops himself down on the sofa while Charles grabs him a cup of coffee and some of Max’s favorite cookies. He returns to find their dog yipping away by Max's feet and their cat Sassy has taken up space on Max’s lap.
“They’re yours?”
“Ours.” Charles corrects as he sets the treats down, he takes a seat next to Max, cautiously watching.
“How did we… you know… get together?”
“Uh… are you sure you want to know?”
“Yes, please.” Max is being a polite cat, Charles smiles fondly.
“I think I’ve always liked you… and we raced together fiercely all the time… we crashed together in Abu Dhabi… shouted at each other and then it became less about the race and more about us. You kissed me, I kissed you back…”
“And then?”
“Then we sorted it out.”
Max looks like he doesn’t believe that “What happened after we kissed?”
Charles’ cheeks go hot at the memory of that night, two young passionate fiery souls, that kiss lighted a match of hungry flames that was supposed to burn many years ago. Max kissed him breathless, hands ripping away his racing attire, holding him down, ravaging his throat and his chest, leaving all kinds of claims in its wake.
“...We talked.” Charles lies because he’s not about to go into great detail of their first time together. Not when Max is 20 right now.
“We talked??? That’s it??”
“Yeah. We talked all night.” Charles clears his throat, going with the partial lie. They were up all night… not talking though unless talking with their bodies count.
“So, what happened after?”
“We dated. We told our families, we told our teams… we told the press… the world knew and we didn’t care what they thought. It was you and me against the world.”
Max smiles, genuinely and sweet, he looks even younger now; innocently pure and cute. Charles wants to bite him for being adorable.
“...The championship…”
“You won 4. I’ve won 1… and after today’s race… it’s mathematically impossible to beat me even if I DNF the last 3. The calendar has changed… Monaco is at the end of the year now.”
“Wow.” The Dutchman is surprised. “I… never had any doubt if anyone would win a championship, it would be you.”
Charles smiles at the praise, “Thank you, Max.”
-O-O-O-
Despite everything today, it somehow isn’t all that bad. Charles gives Max a tour of their house, showing him their trophy room, talking about their helmets and other memorabilia; a lot of stories in their shared home, picture frames of their families, their pets, their vacations. He was worried he’s overloading him but Max asks him to continue, downing in the new intel like he needs it. They have a lot of items, from clothes, shoes, to luxury jewelry… Charles even took him to the garage and watched the way Max geeked out over cars.
“You bought me that Ferrari for my birthday…” Charles sheepishly answers, recalling the surprise.
“What did you get me?”
“An Aston-Martin.”
Max’s jaw drops.
“So, this is all ours? The supercars…?”
“Yeah. We also have a plane and a yacht…”
“Holy fuck.”
“Yeah. We’re pretty amazing.”
“...What were our plans? Did I… ever… I don’t know… proposed? Or if you proposed instead?”
Charles frowns at the question, they haven’t talked about it, didn’t really need to either. It was something they said they wouldn’t explore until their F1 retirement and now with Max’s injury… it’s out of the question. “We’re still young, not planning on settling down yet… who knows you might change your mind and find someone else.” The last part was honestly said to hurt himself but the look on Max’s face made him regret it so badly.
“...Don’t say that, Charles. I think the current me would be very sad if you said that.” Max’s voice is soft, careful, in pain– “Looking at everything, I don’t think minds will change so easily.”
The Monegasque feels his eyes prick with tears, today’s event has been very bad on him, but he hasn’t had the time to think about himself, he was just worried about his lover and now that Max is in front of him, alive, okay and still his. He can’t stop the tears from falling, he strides over quickly, uncaring of anything, he wraps his arms around Max’s chest, sobbing in his shoulder.
“I was so worried. I was so fucking worried. When I heard you crashed and I… couldn’t do anything… I didn’t care if I was P1 in Monaco, I didn’t give a damn! I told God, I would rather lose the championship, lose everything than lose you– I was so scared. So long as you got out of that crash alive, I don’t care what happens… I cannot lose you. I cannot. I simply cannot. Max. If I… lose… you… I can’t…”
“Shh… Charles, it’s okay, I’m here…” Max holds him tightly, patting his back in soothing circles as he continues to sob.
“...You promised. You said after F1, we would join other categories together, rivals or teammates, we’d race until we can’t anymore… then we’d retire somewhere… Maybe start a family…then when we’re older, we’ll see the rookies and the new drivers, we'll reminisce about our best years but we’d make better ones when we’re done– and we… we… “ Charles chokes, hiccuping as latches onto Max’s shirt, pouring his heart out. “We are not done, Max Emillian Verstappen… we… we are not done.”
“I’m sorry, Charles. I know I scared you.”
“...And I thought I could take a few months without you, if you didn’t call my name the way you used to but this home is everything we built together… If you didn’t come back I—”
“Charles, please.”
“Thank you for coming back, Max. Thank you. Thank you . Thank you, mon chéri . Even when you didn’t know… when you didn’t understand… you still… came back to me… Mon amour, mon coeur, Mon tout, pour toujours. ”
Max kisses the top of Charles’s head, steadily holding him, hushing his tears and cries. “...I’m 20 now, Charles but I’ve wanted you since I was 14. I… was surprised at first but so hopeful when I saw the watch. I wanted so hard to believe that we made it together.”
The reassurance made Charles cry even more, to know it hasn’t changed, the relief floods him, knowing Max is here and will be here and he won’t be alone through this.
“I’m home, Charles. I’m home. Please don’t cry anymore. I’m here.”
Charles cries his heart out, until all the stress disappears and Max gently guides him back to their bedroom; so gentle with him, a little awkward with his limbs but Max keeps Charles close to his chest, cuddling him until he’s warm. Charles sniffles, eyes puffy and red, lips still quivering ever so slightly. He’s like a fragile broken glass, one touch away from shattering to a million pieces.
“No more tears… when you cry my heart hurts.” Max breathes deeply, tightly holding the Monegasque, “Just take it that I’ve somehow gone back in time and you get to spend time with 20 year old Max but the 28 year old one will be back soon. He’ll be back before you know it.”
Charles squeezes Max, burying his face in the other’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.
He sniffs, pouty “I will give you the best time of your life… 20 year old Max Verstappen is going to enjoy it so much.”
Max chuckles, nodding shyly “Okay.”
Tomorrow when they wake, maybe a miracle will come through and Max will be his old self again but the likelihood of that is slim. Charles decides that as he closes his eyes, even if Max doesn’t regain he memories tomorrow, he’ll still love him at 20, because he’s chosen to love him at 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100– He’s going to allow 20 year old Max to live like the current one, well loved, well fed, well cared for. He’ll let him drive the Aston-Martin, bring him to their favorite breakfast spot, they’ll go get desserts at Max’s favorite Monaco patisserie, they’ll take the yacht to see the sunset, they’ll go shopping for whatever Max wants, they’ll take the dogs out for walks in the park, catch up on all of Max’s favorite movies so he can watch it like it's the first time again.
Instead of knowing what genuine care and love feels like at 25, Max can now experience it at 20. Charles will take it upon himself to make sure the other knows just how great they’ve become together.