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There are no duplicates of Allan in Barbieland.
Normally, Allan is fine with this — he doesn’t need all of the drama of the Kens and Barbies; he’s perfectly happy just being Ken’s buddy — but now, for the first time since he went out to the Real World and formed *NSYNC, he’s starting to wish there were more Allans in Barbieland.
If there were more Allans, maybe this wouldn’t be happening.
He doesn’t really know what’s happening at first. Stereotypical Ken went to the Real World with Stereotypical Barbie to fix — well, actually, there was a lot wrong with her, so Allan knew it was for the best. Except then he comes back from the Real World talking about patriarchy and horses and brewski beers, and the next thing Allan knows, it’s like he’s brainwashed all the Barbies.
It’s really weird. The Barbies have always been so confident and cool, and now all of a sudden… why are they wearing stupid maid outfits and laughing at the Kens’ stupid jokes and, and — giving up on everything they’ve worked so hard for?
Allan liked Barbieland as it was. Maybe he was just Allan back then, but things weren’t so weird. There was a reason he came back to Barbieland after *NSYNC “broke up”.
Something about the Real World is kind of depressing, and Allan doesn’t like seeing it infect Barbieland, too. At least now he has a word for it, not that that means anything when the Kens are trying to change the entire constitution. He wishes the Barbies would wake up from this nightmare, or at least that he could get out of Barbieland before things get even worse, except —
Except then that human, Gloria, says something to make the Barbies wake up, and they all have a plan. Well, the Barbies and Gloria and Sasha have a plan. Allan is happy to help. He just wants things to go back to normal. He doesn’t even like brewski beers!
So, when the Barbies fix their constitution and turn Barbieland back to normal, Allan breathes a sigh of relief. The nightmare is over.
He’s a little sad to see Stereotypical Barbie go back to the Real World — for good this time — and he thinks he’ll miss Gloria and Sasha, too, but Weird Barbie is sticking around, and so is everyone else, so it can’t be too bad, right?
Except.
Except Stereotypical Ken doesn’t seem okay after Stereotypical Barbie leaves.
Allan isn’t stupid; he knows as well as anyone else that there’s a Ken made for every Barbie. That doesn’t mean that they have to be in love, obviously, but it does mean that Stereotypical Ken staying back… throws the balance off a little.
(Allan thinks it’s better that Stereotypical Ken stays in Barbieland, especially with how messed up everything got when he did go to the Real World, but he isn’t going to say that to anyone. Not out loud.)
So one night, he goes over to Stereotypical Ken’s Barbie Dreamhouse (left to him after Stereotypical Barbie left) with a couple brewski beers. Again, Allan doesn’t even like them, but he’s pretty sure all the Kens still do.
Ken lets him in right away.
“How are you holding up?” Allan asks.
Ken groans and throws himself on the couch. “It’s like, I’ll be fine. I don’t need Barbie. I can be independent, or whatever.”
Allan knows there’s a but… coming, so he offers him a brewski beer, hoping that will coax some more out of him. Ken opens it and takes a drink.
“It’s just hard, you know?”
“Not really,” Allan admits. “But I’m sorry you’re going through this.” Even if it is better than patriarchy, it does actually hurt to see his friend suffering.
“Yeah, thanks,” Ken says. He drinks some more of his brewski beer.
“At least you’ve made up with the other Kens?”
“But the other Kens aren’t Barbie.”
“No one’s Barbie but Barbie,” Allan agrees. “And every Barbie is different. No one is ever going to replace Stereotypical Barbie.”
“I know she’s not coming back,” Ken says. He sounds kind of defeated. Allan isn’t really sure what to do. What can he do? Ken is right: she’s not coming back. She chose her own path, and while Allan is happy for her, that doesn’t help him comfort Ken right now. “It sucks.”
“Yeah.” Allan reaches for a brewski beer, even though he hates it, and takes a drink, thinking maybe that will help.
Ken watches him and pulls a face. “Have a soda. I know you don’t like brewski beers.”
Allan takes the soda gratefully and sets the brewski beer on the table. “Thanks.”
“Of course. And — I’m sorry for the way I treated you. That wasn’t fair. You’re my buddy.”
Yes, he is Ken’s buddy. So he doesn’t brush it off and say that it was fine, because it wasn’t fine, and Ken knows that. “I’m just glad it’s over.”
“Well, I think it’s going to be the two of us against the world now.” He claps Allan’s shoulder. “I like the other Kens, obviously, but none of them are my buddy. And I don’t have Stereotypical Barbie anymore — not that I ever really had her, but you know what I mean.”
“It must be hard,” Allan says.
“It is. But I’ll get through it.”
“Just no more patriarchy,” Allan says; he isn’t entirely joking.
“I only cared about it because I thought it was about horses,” Ken admits. “Maybe I can get a horse, though.”
“Maybe!” Allan agrees. He has to admit that the horses were the best part about everything that Stereotypical Ken did. And maybe a horse would help calm him down.
Ken turns to look at him. “Do you want to move in here?”
Allan looks around. It definitely beats anywhere Allan’s ever lived before, but… “Doesn’t this place only have one bedroom?” That was why Barbie never let Ken move in, right?
“Yeah,” Ken says. “We’ll share. It’ll be fine. Guy’s night every night!”
Allan isn’t entirely sure it works that way, but… “Yeah. Okay.”
Ken grins. “Awesome! It’ll be like old times; you and me against the world. And all my clothes fit you, so maybe we can fix this.” He tugs at Allan’s shirt. “You’ll see: it’ll be great!”
“I can’t wait,” Allan says honestly. Some part of him is a little too excited at the idea of sharing a room and clothes with Ken, but… well, Ken’s asking, isn’t he? Whatever happens… he’s always going to be Ken’s buddy.