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Kaiser was almost at his limit.
Ever since he transferred to Re Al, his life had been all over the place.
Okay, maybe that was an overstatement. His life wasn't that different from when he was still in Bastard München.
The new club gave everyone their own dorm room, so he didn't have to share his space with strangers. Which was good. He had trust issues and didn't like people touching his things. Maybe Ness was the only exception, but he wasn't here.
Kaiser kept his room clean and tidy just the way he liked it. It lacked the usual vanilla scent that lingered whenever Ness was around (Ness had always smelled like vanilla naturally, like he was made of it or something; Kaiser never figured out why, and didn't care enough to ask), but the new space wasn't bad. He even lit a few candles to give the room a soft, floral scent. There was a canteen nearby, so he didn't have to cook either.
Team practices started around the same time as they did back at Bastard München. The drills were demanding, but not more than what he was used to. Overall, everything seemed to be the same.
But it wasn't. Re Al had a different system, so Kaiser had to adjust to the way his new teammates moved and thought, and that took effort. A lot more effort than he'd expected. He came back from practice every day worn out, dragging his legs up the stairs like they were made of stone.
And that was the problem.
Normally, Ness would be there to help him unwind, even if he was tired too. He'd run a hot bath while Kaiser lied on the bed complaining about his sore legs. If Kaiser kept grumbling, Ness would give in and offer a massage while muttering about how he spoiled him too much. Now, there was no one to spoil him at all.
The worst part, though, was the mornings.
He was used to Ness waking up first and getting everything ready. Only then would Ness shake him awake, guide his half-asleep ass through his routine, even help with his hair.
Now Kaiser had to drag himself out of bed alone. He barely had the energy to wash his face, let alone deal with his bed hair. Some days, he skipped breakfast altogether and just grabbed whatever snack he could find between practice breaks.
His usual perfectly-put-together look was probably falling apart in front of his new teammates.
Kaiser couldn't deny how comfortable he had been around Ness before.
It wasn't something he liked admitting. He was supposed to be independent, someone who didn't need anyone. Especially not someone like Ness – too clingy, too kind, too loyal for his own good.
Still, the idea kept coming back. Instead of just cutting Ness off immediately, he thought maybe he could call Ness over from time to time. Let the visits grow further and further apart until eventually, the distance would settle into something permanent. Then, one day, Kaiser would stop reaching out entirely without him having to actually say goodbye. Ness would just fade into the past, like any other former teammate.
That sounded reasonable. Cold, but reasonable.
But that wasn't how it worked. When he first left Bastard München, Ness had tried calling him over and over again. Kaiser hadn't picked up a single one. After the fifth missed call, he blocked the number, writing it off as annoying and suffocating.
He thought it was necessary. But now, sitting alone in a room that smelled like store-bought candles, Kaiser wasn't so sure.
He hated this. The idea of reaching out first left a bitter taste in his mouth. What would Ness even think? That he gave in? That he missed him? That he'd lost the upper hand?
Kaiser didn't want to admit he was wrong. He definitely didn't want to be the first one to cave.
Still, the more he thought about it, the more he noticed the empty spaces Ness used to fill. He missed how effortlessly the other boy could exist at his side, quietly attentive, stupidly loyal. The small things Ness did for him without being asked: a silent hand offering his towel after practice, breakfast already set on the table, warm hands taming his mess of a bedhead. And that damned vanilla scent clinging to the sheets even after Ness left the room.
It had been almost three months now. If he unblocked Ness and called, wouldn't that just look pathetic? Like he was crawling back, admitting defeat?
Would Ness even answer? Would he laugh? Be bitter? Or worse – would he sound happy, like he'd been waiting the whole time?
Kaiser sat on the edge of his bed, phone in hand, staring at the blocked contact screen. His pride twisted uncomfortably in his chest. He could still put the phone down now and pretend this moment never happened. Just…
Kaiser grunted. "Fuck it."
He tapped "Unblock". Then, before he could stop himself, he hit "Call".
The phone only rang twice before the other side picked up, just enough time for Kaiser to almost hang up and regret the whole stupid decision.
"Michael?"
Ness's voice came through the speaker. It was soft and still in the same tone Kaiser was used to hearing. There was no hint of irritation even though Kaiser had ghosted him for three months. For a second, Kaiser's mind went completely blank.
Why had he called again?
Right. He wanted Ness to come over.
But how was he supposed to say that without sounding desperate? He didn't want Ness to think he missed him or anything like that. He just needed the convenience of having Ness around. That was all. It made sense to ask for it. He just had to sound confident and demanding. That way, Ness would know Kaiser was still the one in charge, even if they hadn't spoken in months.
"Hello? Are you there?" Ness asked again.
Kaiser realized he'd been silent for too long. He needed to say something. Anything.
"I want to eat the döner from that shop near the Bastard München clubhouse," he blurted out. The second the words left his mouth, he wanted to bite his tongue. He didn't even like that place. The bread was awful, and döner wasn't even his thing. Ness was too well aware of that. But it was too late to take it back so Kaiser had to commit.
"I'm not waiting for delivery," he added, forcing his tone to stay firm. "So you better go buy it and bring it here. Now."
There was a pause. Then, he heard a chuckle from the other end of the line.
That sound irritated him immediately. What was so funny about what he just said?
"I miss you too," Ness replied, sounding too pleased for Kaiser's liking.
"Too"? Kaiser almost lost it right there. His hand twitched, and for a second, he seriously considered hanging up. He had to take a deep breath and force himself to calm down.
This was just Ness being… Ness. Saying weird, sentimental stuff that made no sense. Letting his imagination run wild. It wasn't surprising he'd take things the wrong way.
Kaiser would just ignore that part. It was the only logical thing to do.
"I'm going to buy other food you like too. Do you have any extra requests beside the usual?" Finally – Kaiser exhaled – Ness was speaking in actual human language and not just spouting nonsense.
He heard shuffling noises through the speaker. It sounded like Ness was getting ready to head out. There were also a few loud thuds and the sound of wooden doors opening and closing. Wardrobes? Drawers? Kaiser wasn't sure. He wondered briefly what the other boy was doing, but decided he didn't really care.
"No. Anyway, my hair needs a touch-up. Bring the dye."
"You don't have any left?"
"I ran out," Kaiser replied flatly. It was a lie.
"The store we usually bought from near my place is already closed. We can pick one up near your dorm tomorrow morning, and I'll help you touch it up then. Sound good?"
It did sound good. Ness would not only see him tonight, but also tomorrow morning. If the midfielder wanted to run back and forth, who was Kaiser to stop him?
"Fine. Make sure you come early tomorrow."
Then, Kaiser remembered something. A few days ago, he had stalked Theo's social media and saw that the Bastard München members were planning to go hiking since tomorrow was the weekend. That included Ness. So the midfielder would probably leave right after fixing his hair. The thought irritated him.
Ness was his dog, even if he had discarded him before. Kaiser didn't like seeing Ness get too friendly with other people. He should be spending his time serving him, not laughing with teammates or playing around in the woods. Maybe Kaiser could ask him to skip it and go shopping instead. He'd need someone to carry his bags, after all. He was sure Ness wouldn't say no. As long as it meant sticking around, the other boy would do whatever he asked.
"Can I stay over at your place instead?" Ness asked suddenly. "It's quite late now, and it takes a lot of time traveling between your dorm and mine. I'll bring my own clothes." So that's what the wooden noises were about.
That suggestion pleased Kaiser more than he expected. Now he could afford to be generous and let Ness use his shampoo and body wash tonight. Maybe even let him use his spare towel.
Some of his teammates had brought their hook-ups back to the dorm before, so it wasn't like anyone would bat an eye at him. And besides, bringing over an ex-situationship was probably more normal than whatever that was.
"Whatever. I don't have an extra blanket, so I'll allow you to sleep on my bed tonight. Don't snore or I'll kick you out," Kaiser said, trying to sound nonchalant. But the corner of his lips curled up without him realizing. Ness couldn't see it anyway.
"You know I don't snore," Ness giggled through the speaker.
Kaiser rolled his eyes. "Just hurry up and get here," he scoffed.
“I'll be there in thirty minutes.” He heard the jingle of keys and the click of a lock. So Ness was leaving his dorm now. Good.
Kaiser had managed to get Ness over this week. Now, he just needed to start thinking about how to make it happen again next week. What excuse should he use next time? Maybe he could say he needed help with laundry, or make up some stupid errand. Whatever it was, he'd come up with something. There was no way this would be a one-time thing.
"Oh, and by the way," Ness's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. There was a light laugh, then Ness continued. "I love you too."
Kaiser hung up immediately and threw the phone onto the bed. His face was burning.
From anger, obviously.