Chapter Text
Being a killer in that forsaken place was... entertaining, at best.
Especially considering that—unlike the survivors, who were painfully aware of every second spent in that hell—the killers had been stripped of any ability to perceive rounds.
They just knew they were there for a single purpose, with no capacity to question it. And they had no issue indulging in it over and over again.
It’s not like you can get bored of doing something if you don’t remember you’re doing it for the rest of eternity.
Take c00lkidd, for example. Playing with the survivors was his favorite part of the day! His dad barely had time to play with him before, but now? Now he had nothing but time for him—and only him.
Jason and 1x1 just enjoyed the massacre. Especially the latter, if Shedletsky was involved; seeing him dismembered on the floor brought an incomprehensible peace to her mind.
And John Doe… well, John Doe didn’t usually remember much from each round. Just that overwhelming feeling of hatred that consumed him before every match, and then a bone-deep exhaustion afterward that barely left him with the strength to move.
But one thing they all agreed on was: the food situation in that place sucked.
"None of you degenerates know how to cook!"
1x1x1x1 spat every word with a dash of venom—like she wasn’t in the same culinary crisis herself.
“Uh... I do know how to cook” replied John in a small voice from the couch in the killer cabin where he was reading.
“Yeah, but you’ve got some skill issues called missing-an-arm-and-an-eye and we are NOT having this discussion again”
c00lkidd was sitting at a table comically too big for him, happily swinging his legs while coloring a brutal fire in some pizzeria place with crayons. “My dad knows how to cook! He made dino nuggets all by himself!”
Jason signed something with his hands, but 1x was too busy being miserable to even look at him, so he just gave up.
Until an idea popped into her head.
“EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP I HAVE AN IDEA!”
“…No one was talking—”
1x1x1x1 jumped from her filthy couch seat, eyes on the ceiling like a kid hoping the fan would finally fall on her.
“SPECTRE!”
Jason might’ve been wearing a mask, but nothing in this world was clearer than the fact that he was raising an eyebrow at his roommate’s schizophrenia.
“CAN WE KIDNAP A SURVIVOR?”
Silence filled the cabin.
“TO HELP US COOK”
Even more funeral-level silence...
“IT’D BE FUN, THINK ABOUT IT”
...
...
...
And to everyone’s surprise, glowing letters began to carve themselves into the wooden wall as if scratched in by an invisible knife, guided by an omnipresent force.
“O K A Y J U S T T H I S O N C E”
1x turned to the others with a big, manic grin. Jason and John stared at the letters on the wall like they’d just been personally insulted: stunned that it actually worked.
“W I T H O N E C O N D I T I O N”
“Y O U M A Y N O T K I L L W H O E V E R Y O U C H O O S E”
c00lkidd gasped “Does that mean dad can come home with us now?!” he stood up, radiating happiness.
“Ew— no, single dads give me the ick” 1x complained, sticking out her tongue.
Jason signed again, and Doe paid attention this time, nodding “We should choose carefully who we... politely—bring here against their will”
“Duh. The pizza guy” 1x replied, as if it were obvious.
Once again, c00lkidd smiled ear to ear “Yesssss! The delivery guy! I used to play with him a lot but he got mad at us after the fire. I like him ‘cause his favorite Power Ranger is the red one. Dad says he’s handsome”
“…what—”
“THE PIZZA GUY IT IS!”
“Are we sure he knows how to cook anything besides pizza?” Doe asked, worried. He really didn’t want to be poisoned by eating pizza 24/7.
Jason tried signing again, but 1x was faster this time, yelling before he could even lift a finger. One of these days, he swore he’d knee her in the fac—
“Pizza is pizza. I bet you the kid that guy over there has never even tasted one in his life” she said, pointing at the masked killer.
Jason looked deeply offended “[I have eaten pizza, thank you very much]” he somehow managed to sound passive-aggressive without saying a word out loud.
1x4 rolled her eyes, picked up the tiny red devil child, and handed him to Doe like she was giving him a watermelon for the bet he didn't even agree on.
John Doe shook his head like a tired dad, gently placing c00lkidd down to go run around “Well—now comes the hard part: convincing him to come with us”
The white-haired killer laughed maliciously “You don’t need to convince him, you just need to take him!”