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The day is sunny as Erik walks through the crowded streets of Paris, with people drinking coffee, eating or simply walking, tourists everywhere with their cameras, gears turning that only Erik can feel. This, somehow, fills him with a joy unknown to him, so accustomed to the melancholy of his life. Charles liked to take pictures. Erik bought him a camera, kept in the wooden trunk at the foot of the bed, next to the helmet. Who knows, if things go the way the mutant planned, the first photo taken will be of his favorite beach, marked by the wheels of Charles's manual chair. The thought is enough to fill the German's heart with love and hope as he follows the familiar hum of the metal that makes up Charles's watch, as if the psychic had chosen to use it precisely so that Erik could find it. It is sweet to think this way, although Erik is afraid that Charles will no longer want to see him after all.
"What do you want here, Erik?" It's a question he's heard many times in their long life apart. So, it doesn't scare Erik that Charles refuses to let their minds touch, after all, the metalbender was very intense with his order for Charles to leave him alone. Erik would kill for that mind in his now.
"I came to see you, to see if everything's okay." Erik says and holds out a hand with the palm up, waiting for Charles to take it. It doesn't happen and Erik tries, mentally, to remember what that once soft hand feels like in his. Charles's hands now had calluses from the wheelchair, especially the one he uses now. Erik wants to kiss those injured fingers.
"I'm fine, as much as I can be, my friend." Charles doesn't smile when he speaks, which is confirmation that he's lying. Erik lists the possibilities for his beloved psychic not being well. The reasons were diverse, from the chronic pain that Hank said was common to even the grief not suffered by his daughter and sister. Erik wonders what Charles’s reaction would be if he suggested they sit Shivah together for them, just as he had done for Nina and Magda when they were gone all those years ago.
“Charles.” Erik sucks in a sharp breath. His friend’s sad eyes are on him again, and Erik wants to keep them that way. “You talk about your sadness as if it’s all alright. As if it’s natural for you to grieve, but as if you deserve it. After all these years of telling me to let go of my grief, to go my way through it like a nightmare and wake up at the end of it, is it hard to follow that same advice?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Erik.” Charles frowns, a sour wave of apprehension and disgust escaping and trying, however timidly, to reconnect their mental link. “As you can see, I’m perfectly fine and stable here, I’m not old enough yet for you to need to care for me like I’m senile.”
Erik understands very well where this small fraction of Charles' emotions comes from. From an anxious and desperate heart, belonging to a very nervous and collapsing body that Erik found in the mansion's orchard, many, many years ago. When Erik found out about Charles' past, about his parents, about how they died and the guilt that his beloved little man carries. The psychic never wanted the attention placed on him, preferring to hide from everything rather than say that he is in pain, tired, in need of someone to listen to him. But Erik will not force anything that Charles is not willing to reveal. The mutant learned from the younger man to be like this and will use that same kindness towards him.
“You know, it’s none of my business, but this has been on my mind for a few days.” Erik softens his face and rests a hand on his cheek, earning a gentle look from Charles, who always cared the most about whether Erik was okay. “You need to grieve for your daughter and sister. I know you’re not religious, but come sit Shivah for them with me. Remember Nina and Magda? I did this for them and it did me more good than you know, even if I was too blinded by anger to realize it.”
“I don’t want to think about them. I’ve spent too much time thinking about it, Erik. I want to believe that there is a place where Raven is happy, being who she always wanted to be, and that Jean is free now, alive or not. That’s what she wanted, isn’t it? Freedom. And I took that away from her.” Charles bites the inside of his cheek hard, digging into the outer skin. Erik sympathizes with the sight of the broken, tired man. It's so much like him, and there's nothing more the metalbender wants than to take Charles to Genosha so he can rest.
Erik is interrupted from his train of thought by a memory. The day Charles reminded him of his mother and helped him use his powers without the influence of anger and pain. That moment was like sunshine in Erik's dark life, magnified by Charles's gentle smile and the joining of their lips. He couldn't mourn his dear mother properly due to the conditions he found himself in, but the unearthed memory was a way to honor her after so long. Maybe that's what Charles needs now, and Erik is ready to try.
Timidly, staring at Charles's untouched cup, Erik searches for a memento he holds dear. Jean is still six years old, her eyes are scared and huge. Erik and Charles are sleeping, enjoying the few moments they have together, when the little red-haired girl slowly opens the door, her mouth twisted in a grimace, and enters the room. There aren't many words, but it's mostly because Erik doesn't remember if Jean actually said anything, probably because he was half asleep, unlike Charles, who was immediately awake.
"Do you want to sleep with us, honey?" Charles said, sitting up with some difficulty and opening his arms. Erik remembers that it was this movement that made him wake up and sit up too. "Don't worry, it's okay, you can come."
"My head hurts." She mumbles, her voice like she's about to cry, as she climbs onto their bed, settling herself right in the middle. Erik leans in to kiss her hair, which smells like strawberries, while Charles holds her hand, caressing her soft white skin. "Someone's talking too loud."
"You know, I also suffer from headaches because of voices. But you know what helps? Sleeping close to the ones you love." Charles smiles and settles her in bed, fluffing his spare pillow. Erik fluffs the blankets. "So, you can sleep peacefully, my love, you're safe with me and Daddy."
The memory fades like sand blown away by the afternoon wind. Erik holds on to the last pieces with fondness, especially the last thing he saw before falling back asleep, which were Charles's kind eyes. Those same eyes that are now filled with tears as they stare at Erik. His plan worked, because he wanted Charles to see the memory, having projected it with all the strength he had, hoping that the psychic would catch the thread and see it. Then, of course, they fought and Erik was gone again, having married Magda and trying not to see Charles in her or Jean in Nina.
“You have a power, Charles, that brought the sun to me. I could never have honored my mother if it weren’t for you giving me back her memory. I want you to honor Jean and Raven with the happy memories you have of them, not how they died.” Erik smiles, sending warmth and love to Charles. “Come to Genosha with me, my dear. There, we can sit Shivah together and honor them properly.”
“I thought during Shivah you were supposed to stay in the house of the deceased for the time of mourning.” Charles says, but it’s not an excuse, just an innocent question, from someone who has already made the decision but is afraid to say it.
“You don’t want to go back to the mansion, do you?” Erik says fondly, now extending both hands across the table, Charles finally grabbing them. Charles’ hands are covered in dried, burst blisters, leaving the skin dry and rough. Erik thinks they’re similar to his own. “I want to face the pain with you. Your pain is not ordinary, my dear. It is yours and valid as any other, as I said so many years ago. You still remember that, don’t you?”
Charles nods and a tear escapes his eye. Erik sighs fondly and stands up, leaving Charles’s coffee money on the table for the waitress to take. With his own hands, he pushes the wheelchair out of there. It has been a long time since he has done this, almost always using his powers or refraining from touching, as if Charles had become untouchable after his injury. This time, he will do things right. As he guides them both to what he knows is the hotel where Charles is staying, he feels something in his mind.
Love.