Chapter Text
Three months.
Three whole months have passed ever since the concert of the Saja boys.
Rumi wasn’t sure yet on how to feel about everything just yet. Yes three months have already come by and yet she still felt like she was in a void. Days passed by without her remembering much of them and it feels off.
She should be happy, about winning from the demons and making sure that the world is safe. Not to mention, thinking back on how euphoric she felt about the fact that Mira and Zoey were by her side as the three of them evaporated Gwi-Ma from this earth.
The first day after everything, it felt fine. It wasn’t like it felt amazing, but the fact that the weight of having to hide herself was finally pushed off of her shoulders certainly made a difference. Finally she could go to the bathhouse with both Mira and Zoey, feeling rather confident in her patterns.
That came to a rather screeching halt on the second day. Rumi was pretty sure that her brain had finally caught up with everything and it wasn’t a pretty sight. It started with her waking up shaking and unable to breathe, after a good few seconds she finally realized; she was having a panic attack.
Rumi reached up, grabbing her own arms as her nails dug into her. She felt herself spiral out of control and she soon found herself in a void of nothingness, nothing but her own thoughts spitting venomous words at her.
‘All demons have been eliminated and yet you stand here.’
‘You’re a fake , no matter how much your friends say they support you, they’ll leave eventually.’
‘It should’ve been you instead of Jinu.’
Right. Jinu. As if the rest wasn’t already hard enough to properly process. Finally someone she had a bond with, someone who understood her. Dead. Fully killed by his master, his last act of defiance was to give his soul to Rumi.
Out of instinct in the void she found herself in, she drew her sword. Her saingeom shone in her hands, a different color representing the Honmoon they created now and bigger due to the soul of Jinu having fused with the weapon, making it more powerful to wield.
It was while she was looking down at her weapon that it finally hit her; she was never going to see him again. A wave of sadness crashed over her already vulnerable state. Rumi didn’t realize that she was crying until she felt the wet tears hit her lower arms.
It felt like everything would simply swallow her whole. She was supposed to have a happy ending and yet she sat here; crying alone in her room while gripping onto her own arms, claws digging into her arms so hard she was drawing blood.
That was when she suddenly felt something on her arm. Her first gut reaction was to jerk away, but something stopped her. Something in the back of her mind telling her that everything was okay, that this wasn’t a threat to her.
It was as if she suddenly became aware of the void she was in and thought back on some conversations with Mira. She had mentioned she had problems with panic attacks and Mira had taught her some grounding exercises, no questions asked.
She first started to focus on her breathing, making sure there was a steady rhythm of breathing in, holding it and breathing back out. Afterwards she started figuring out what she felt around her.
Rumi could feel the sheets of her bed wrapped around her legs as she sat crisscrossed. She could also feel someone holding her shoulders, no maybe two people? One hand was firmly gripping her shoulder, long slender fingers and the pads of their fingers mostly holding the most contact, something to focus on while grounding. The other hand was slightly smaller, the hand was mostly laying on her shoulder instead of gripping it, something warm and inviting.
Her breath hitched as she felt the tears run down her cheeks, it wasn’t a happy thing to focus on, but the wet on her cheeks did help bring her back, out of the void and slowly back to where she was.
Next she focussed on her hearing, listening closely for any sounds around her. There was the soft hum of the ventilator that was steadily running due to the hot nights they had experienced lately. She heard the leaky tap of her personal bathroom that connected directly to her room that has been driving her up a wall for several nights. Then the thing her brain almost immediately latched on; soft murmuring from two individuals.
At first it sounded like one person, then it slowly became clear two people were talking to each other. Rumi frowned as she tried to focus more on the murmuring of the two people and soon enough it became apparent that the two soft murmuring voices weren’t talking to each other, but to her .
“It’s going to be okay, we’re here.”
“Don’t worry Rumi, we’re here for you.”
“Listen to our voices.”
“Find your way back to us.”
Slowly she opened her eyes, tears silently still streaming down her cheeks, but she found herself back in her room. The lights were out, but it was clear two figures were sitting on either side of her.
Her friends. Plain and simple, both in their sleeping wear.
Rumi didn’t know why they were here, but she wasn’t going to ask. These panic attacks sadly became her new norm and yet every single time her friends were there, silently sitting with her or just figuring something is wrong and coaxing her out silently.
It felt comforting and yet, a little voice in her head told her she didn’t deserve it. It planted a seed in her brain which slowly had grown into full blown guilt. She had bags under her eyes from lack of sleep after these three months.
Rumi had wanted to go much earlier back into the whole idol thing, it was what kept her brain busy. The remembering choreographies, the dancing and gruelling practice hours, the brainstorming for new songs, the stress. It was all so much and yet it was what kept her sane for the most part.
Most would call her a workaholic and maybe she was. She just used it as a coping mechanism, anything to keep the traitorous thoughts away.
Bobby, the loving manager he is though, forced the girls to immediately take a break. Even though he was excited for all three of them and usually went with them whenever inspiration hit and wanted to help push all the songs, this time it was too much for him.
“Although I appreciate the drive to work more, I need you three to take a break. A lot has happened in the span of only a few weeks and you three deserve it. Continue writing whenever inspiration hits of course, but no posting promos, no social media more than 2 hours a day and please no public appearances. The paparazzi will stress you out.” Bobby said towards all three of them, with a loving smile, but a firm glint in his eyes.
The three had begrudgingly agreed with him and it felt like Rumi’s downfall.
Although it had been nice to not deal with all the stress hiding her patterns anymore, nor dealing with the rather fragile Hunmoon. Yes, demons still managed to break through, but not as often, especially with Gwi-Ma most likely needing time to recover from being literally snapped out of existence.
Slowly Rumi opened her eyes as the first few strands of light trickled into her room. She had already been awake for longer, but she had forced herself to stay in bed and at least rest for as long as she could. If she dared standing up earlier than 6 am, her bandmates would have her head by now.
She stood up, her limbs feeling like there was lead in them that made them ten times harder to pick up. Her brain felt like there was sludge in it, making everything either foggier or slower and it felt infuriating.
She made her way to the private bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. For a moment she could swear she could see Jinu, but after blinking once or twice she found herself looking into her own eyes.
With a sigh she reached for her toothbrush and started to brush her teeth. She knew she would have to eat breakfast later and it would be smarter to do it afterwards, but she could not be arsed right now. She had to keep her hands busy and this was the most useful and healthy way to use them right now.
When she opened her mouth she paused for a moment. Slowly her finger raised to press against her canines. In the mirror she noticed just how sharp they seemed and the moment she pressed the pad of her finger against it, she hissed and quickly pulled away.
Okay, yeah, definitely more sharp than they were before. With a frown she quickly spit out the rest of the toothpaste and quickly rinsed her mouth, before leaving the bathroom. Another thing to file away for another day.
Strangely it reminded her of all the other things she had to file away, like the way she knew the scent of her friends, the tugging feeling she’d get whenever either of them are struggling and most importantly: the random thoughts that popped up whenever she found them doing things.
That was very vague. It was just super dependent on whatever they were doing. For example she had found Mira just lounging on the couch and her first thought was to join her and curl up in her arms for some reason.
As well as her finding Zoey frantically scribbling in her notebook and her first thought being to put her head on top of the younger girl’s head while she worked on her newest idea for a song most likely.
Alright, enough thinking about how weird you are, Rumi. Today you have to focus on the important things: Having fun with your friends and the comeback you’ve been planning, she quietly forced her thoughts to the side as she walked into the living room.
That’s where she found Mira and Zoey lazily starting up their own days. “Are you two excited to do karaoke today?” She asked the two as they sat at the table, eating their breakfast. Rumi felt like she had to break the silence, even though it was comfortable it felt like it was swallowing her whole.
Zoey almost immediately perked up at the question and frantically nodded her head. “Absolutely! It’ll be the best way to truly warm up our voices for everything that comes after!” She said with an excited grin.
“Not how it works, but it’ll be a great way to gain inspiration.” Mira said with an amused smirk pointed towards Zoey who just giggled at her expression, clearly not taking her comment to heart.
With a smile Rumi joined them at the table, grabbing something simple to eat that won’t take too much effort to throw together. Her gaze slowly drifted to the window to look outside over the city. “I can’t wait to get back to work.”
“Of course you would say that, you workaholic.” Mira didn’t waste a single beat to fire off that remark at her. Rumi could only turn her head with an amused smile. “You will never miss any opportunity to call me out, huh?”
“Oh absolutely never, if I ever pass one up it’s either serious or that’s not me.” The taller bandmate said with a lazy smirk on her face as she continued eating.
Breakfast went by fast, all three girls going back to silence, but this time it wasn’t so deafeningly loud for Rumi. She decided to stand up and go back to her room, it was time to properly get ready for the day.
The day was planned with literally only going to the karaoke bar and singing their hearts out while also brainstorming for the song that they will use for their comeback as it was finally time to end their hiatus.
She quickly threw on a rather casual outfit. She put on a purple sleeveless choker top, some blue shorts and a thin dark blue jacket tied around her waist for if the night got suddenly extremely cold. Lastly she grabbed her favorite pair of knee high platformers and she was good to go.
Something stopped her though, she looked over at the mirror and blinked for a moment. It was almost weird to think she was hiding her patterns just three months ago, yet now she was going to go over the streets with her best friends like this. It felt unreal and a little daunting.
Sure her friends had accepted her and seemed to kind of push her to wear more things like sleeveless shirts and such, but it still felt scary to walk out of her room. For so long Rumi’s been told to cover up. Celine hadn’t truly accepted her and still wouldn’t, she wished it would go back to the way they were before, no matter how suffocating it felt to Rumi.
Rumi quickly caught herself. Don’t think about that, you’ll just work yourself up and ruin the plans you’ve made , her thoughts swirled in her head. She had to get back to her friends, otherwise she might spiral into another void.
She quickly exited her own room, meeting up with the other two once more with a smile and after checking they had everything, they set off for the karaoke bar. They had rented a room for the entire day, only them three. The thought brought a smile to Rumi’s face.
This excitement and happiness wasn’t long lived though. Nothing bad happened per say, she just sat in the karaoke room. She had just sung one of the songs she had really wanted to see if she could sing a good rendition of it and was now watching Mira and Zoey sing some American song called ‘Give it up’.
Simply said, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the two. It was like she was in a trance of sorts as the two completely embodied the entire song perfectly. Zoey with playful teasing, dancing on the music as if the two of them were in the show came from itself. Mira with seductive moves that came easy to the dancer and it was like she had forgotten the two of them were in a karaoke room.
Rumi felt conflicted. Yes she felt left out, but at the same time; watching them felt like something clicked in place? As if they were always meant to be like this. Then again she wished it was a song that had three parts, but those were hard to get in any capacity unless they wrote them themselves.
Once again she forced herself to not think about it, blinking as she heard the song end and quickly reached for the glass of water that was waiting for her on the table. It was rather clear that she was trying to act casual and failing rather miserably. Zoey and Mira didn’t seem to notice though and if they did they didn’t say anything about it, or let Rumi know that they knew in any shape way or form.
Instead Rumi decided to distract all three of them from the energy they had accidentally created in the room. “So any ideas for our comeback song?”
Zoey gasped and within a blink moved over towards her bag, clearly on the hunt for something she put in there. Suddenly she grabbed several notebooks from her bag and ran back to the table, slamming them down on it. “I thought you’d never ask!”
“So how many notebooks did you manage to write full this time?” Mira asked in the usual amused tone that was only reserved for Zoey and Rumi. Something that made Rumi’s stomach feel weird and- yeah not finishing that thought.
Zoey looked over at the notebooks and furrowed her brows in concentration. “I actually haven’t counted them this time. Hold on.” She pulled out her phone and started frantically typing on it, eventually she looked over at Mira with a large smile. “About fifty-three!”
“Wow, only fifty-three in three months? I’m shocked you held yourself back.” Rumi said with a soft smile on her face as she sat closer and looked over Zoey’s shoulder into the notebooks, nodding in approval with what she saw.
This caused the younger girl to slowly look over at Rumi. “Yeah because I know when to hold myself back and chill for once.” Her smug words were matched by her almost cat-like grin she threw at Rumi who simply fondly rolled her eyes.
“Okay, alright, we all get it, I’m an overworker. Moving on, what are your ideas?” Rumi asked with a smile as Mira leaned closer as well, humming at some of the ideas that she saw. “Well obviously the theme is comeback, so I thought it would be perfect to call the song that as well.” Zoey began, before with a huge grin on her face starting to prattle off all the ideas she had for the song.
Rumi could only share a look with Mira as the both of them slowly turned their attention over at Zoey once more. The rest of the time went by in a flash and suddenly it was evening and the three of them were walking out of the karaoke bar.
Of course Mira and Zoey had insisted the three of them go to the bathhouse and so they were on their way. Suddenly Rumi stopped dead in her tracks, something feeling wrong. It felt as if she was being… watched?
She looked all over, before her eyes landed on an alleyway. A figure seemed to drop something, quickly get up on the fire escape and managed to quickly get away from Rumi’s eyesight.
“Rumi, you okay?” Rumi heard Mira call out to her. She looked over to her two bandmates and back to the alleyway, before shaking her head. “Yeah I’m alright, just thought I heard something. Let’s go.” She had to brush it off, she was just being paranoid.
With that she followed the two once more, not knowing the graffiti that was left behind. A logo on a wall. ‘K/DA’ with the words comeback, written underneath it.