The Mother Of Invention

by AnonOhMiss

Summary:

Now that Naruto is officially the Hokage, Shikamaru hardly has any time in his busy schedule for his family—leaving Temari sexually frustrated and concerned that he's lost interest in her. Fueled by the advice given to her by her friends at their weekly brunch dates, Temari is determined to find a way around this marital hurdle. Luckily, the newest invention of the camera phone that Shikamaru always seems to have on him, can be used for purposes other than work.

Notes:

I'm gonna be honest, I have nothing to say for myself for this one. She gooned a little close to the sun.

Their alarm had gone off ten minutes ago—or maybe it was fifteen. Temari was too caught up in the moment to really keep track properly. Shikamaru was above her, pinning her to the mattress with a knee pressed between her legs. 

The name of this game was speed and efficiency, as their time together was usually quite limited. Naruto had recently been sworn in as the seventh Hokage, which meant that Shikamaru was needed at his side more often than not. It irked Temari that her husband was suddenly absent, especially since they had a five year old to take care of, but she sucked it up and made the most of what little time she had with him. 

Right now, in the wee hours before the day really started, was just about the only overlap they had in their schedules. The bed creaked as she rolled them over, switching their positioning so that she sat over his hips. His hands quickly found her thighs and roamed upwards, sliding under the hem of the plain purple nightie she’d worn to bed the night prior. It was probably the most tantalizing piece she had, if one could even call it that, but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t worn it on purpose in hopes of an early morning delight. 

Shikamaru had been getting home so late these days that she and Shikadai were already in bed and asleep by the time he returned. They only had a brief moment in the morning between waking up after the alarm and when Shikadai would inevitably get up and need parenting. This window—these sacred minutes—were all they had to themselves. 

Temari quickly flicked the straps of her nightgown over her shoulders and shimmed the garment down until it sat in a ring around her waist. Shikamaru took the hint to speed things up a bit and stripped off his grey tee shirt as well. He whipped it across the room carelessly, the fabric catching on the door handle and leaving it dangling by its sleeve. He reached up to tangle his fingers in her golden hair and pulled her down into a frantic kiss. Temari ran her hands over his chest before slipping one down under the waistband of his boxers. 

Suddenly there was a blaring noise like bells. Shikamaru flinched at the sound, his neck craning to get a good look at the nightstand where his cell phone was currently ringing. “Don’t you dare,” Temari grumbled against the skin of his jawline. 

He shifted slightly underneath her, almost like he was trying to scoot them over on the bed to be within reach of the infernal device. “It could be the office,” he sighed. 

“Don’t care.” She bared her teeth then dipped her head lower to nip lightly at his neck.

“Temari,” he said sternly before lifting his hands to her shoulders to try and push her away. When she tightened her grip around him, he jolted. 

She lifted her head to glare at him, “I’m not opposed to ripping it off y’know?”

Shikamaru swallowed as his eyes flitted over her face, trying to get a read on how serious that statement was.

There was a beat of silence between them, neither party moving. Usually, Shikamaru enjoyed having her hand down his pants, but right about now the feeling was more akin to being held at gunpoint.

The phone stopped ringing.

“They’ll leave a voicemail,” Temari stated plainly, though he could tell she was asking.

He nodded, “I’ll call them back.”

Temari smiled deviously and finally loosened her hand, returning it to its previous rhythm. Shikamaru heaved a strangled sigh of relief and welcomed the feeling of her lips on his again. He flipped them back over, not keen on allowing her to keep the upper hand after that performance. Temari didn’t seem to mind it, busying her other hand with her underwear, trying and failing to pull them down with a single thumb. 

Shikamaru provided a helping hand, tugging them down to her knees before hoisting her legs upwards to rest on his shoulders so he could slip them off the rest of the way. She lost her grip on him, but it hardly mattered since he was already ducking his head down between her legs. 

“Don’t bother,” she breathed, causing him to quirk an eyebrow up at her.

“But-”

“We don’t have time.”

“Well yeah, but-”

“Shikamaru, just fuck me!”

“Got it.”

And then his goddamn, motherfucking, piece of shit phone, rang again.

 

***

 

“Don’t tell me he answered it!” Ino squealed exasperatedly. Sakura leaned in with wide eyes while Karui grimaced and Hinata balked.

“Worse,” Temari stated bleakly, “He pushed me to the side and reached around me to answer it!” The girls gasped in horror, their faces painted in various expressions of disbelief. “It’s like I’m invisible now, no matter what I do.”

“I’m sure that’s not it,” Sakura insisted, sliding a gentle hand across the cafe’s table to clutch her wrist assuringly, “He’s just busy with work and he cares about what he’s doing. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you too!” She was speaking from personal experience of course since her own husband had been away on missions for practically two years straight. Temari’s stomach churned at the thought.

“Who would have thought Shikamaru would turn out to be a workaholic,” Ino mused incredulously.

“Naruto too,” Hinata sighed, her eyes drifting downwards to her hands folded in her lap. “He’s worked so hard to achieve his dream of becoming Hokage and I’m so happy for him I really am, but…”

“Our husbands spend more time with each other than they do with their own families,” Temari finished for her. She was far beyond putting it lightly at this point. 

Hinata blushed and sighed as if she didn’t want to agree, but nodded her head anyway. Hinata looked like a kicked puppy right around now, while Temari was just angry, pissed off even. 

“Just because your husbands took on arduous jobs, doesn’t give them the right to stop being husbands,” Karui said, finally breaking her stoic silence, “Chouji knows better than to neglect his family, we always come first for him. As it should be.” She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled lightly. Temari always liked Karui, not just because of their shared experience being Konoha transplants, but also because they had a similar disposition and outlook on life. 

Ino was bobbing her head up and down in voracious agreement, “That’s true! You’ve got to lay down the law with them. Sai’s the head of the police force now, but do you think he’s spending late nights at the station all the time? Absolutely not!”

“I did lay down the law,” Temari pressed, “This morning I threatened to rip his dick off.”

The women blinked in surprise before Karui and Ino erupted into fits of laughter while Sakura blanched and Hinata went completely red.

“M-maybe you should try a gentler approach?” Sakura offered in a broken stutter, “Sasuke-kun isn’t very receptive to threats like that, so instead I just tell him how I’m feeling. Why not just try being honest with him?”

The laughter quieted down as they all considered it. Temari sighed and stirred the latte in front of her, “That’ll probably work on Naruto, but I doubt it would yield any results with Shikamaru.”

“Why not?” Karui asked pointedly, “Chouji responds to both threats and sweetness, it just depends on what I want him to do.”

Temari shrugged lamely, “I guess we’ve just never had that kind of dynamic, even when we were kids.”

“I don’t think that will work for me either,” Hinata interjected. When the group turned a questioning gaze to her she continued, “Naruto is hardly home at all anymore, so I don’t have time to talk to him about my feelings. Besides…” She glanced over at the stroller to the left of her chair. She’d been absently moving it back and forth with her foot, the motion soothing her three year old daughter. “Himawari takes up most of my time,” Hinata explained, “And Boruto is a bit of a handful too. Taking care of two kids and trying to maintain a relationship with a man who’s never around is seeming pretty impossible these days.”

Temari’s heart sank a bit for her friend. She glanced over her shoulder at her own son who was currently playing ninja with Boruto and Inojin outside the cafe. “I can’t imagine having two, not right now anyway.”

“Weren’t you and Shikamaru trying for another baby?” Ino asked, leaning her chin into her hand thoughtfully. 

Temari sighed and stared daggers at the half eaten croissant in front of her, “We were. Though I doubt it will happen now, with things being what they are.”

“Don’t say that!” Sakura encouraged, waving off the remark, “It’ll happen eventually!”

Ino snorted, “C’mon Sakura, You’re the doctor here, you should know better than anyone.” Sakura lifted an eyebrow at her bleach blonde counterpart. “You can’t get pregnant if you’re not getting any,” Ino finished in a hushed tone, as if it were some big secret. 

Karui stifled another laugh and Temari sank deeper in her seat as a flush spread across her face.

 

***

The following morning she woke up alone. Temari stretched her arm as far she could reach, flailing her hand around until her fingers smacked into the side of the alarm clock. She groaned and switched it off before flopping over onto her back. She blinked her eyes until they unblurred and focused her attention on the low voices coming from the kitchen. 

Curiosity got the better of her and she started the painstaking process of getting up and getting dressed so she could venture forth into the house and see what was going on. 

“You promise?” came Shikadai’s little voice just as Temari was rounding the corner of the hall. 

“Yes. I swear it, ok?” Shikamaru answered, “Now go brush your teeth and get ready for school.”

“Kay!” Shikadai sang as he jumped from his seat on the countertop. He whizzed by Temari in the hall, not bothering to greet her as he passed. 

Temari arched an eyebrow at her husband, “You’re up early this morning.” She yawned as she eyed him, walking listlessly into the kitchen. Shikamaru nodded weakly, watching her as she got to work making some coffee. “Don’t tell me you’re going into the office early?” 

He groaned, clearly not fond of the idea, “No earlier than usual. Dai woke me up. Bad dreams I guess.”

Temari shook the bag of coffee grounds into a filter, allowing the sweet and bitter smell to fill the air around her. The scent alone was enough to wake her up, like a conditioned response telling her it was time to start the day. “You could have woken me up to take care of him. We both know you could use the rest.”

“Consider it my apology for yesterday,” Shikamaru answered with a shrug, “He’s fed and watered, so he should be good to go.” Temari pressed the start button on the machine while he fetched two mugs from the cupboard above him.

She nodded, not bothering to thank him since she was a firm believer that fathers shouldn’t be thanked for taking care of their own kids. Still, she decided to quell her feminism for a brief moment so she could press a kiss to his cheek in a show of gratitude nonetheless. 

They let the silence hang between them for a beat, listening to the quiet shuffling of their son down the hall as he moved from the bathroom to his bedroom to get dressed for the day. “So what did you promise him?” Temari asked suddenly.

“Huh?”

“When I walked in, you promised him something.”

“Oh yeah that,” Shikamaru sighed, putting the pieces together rather slowly. His lethargy lately concerned Temari a bit more than she’d admit aloud. Since he was hardly getting enough sleep between his long hours at work and their energetic son, she was starting to worry that his brain was actually turning to mush. “It was just that I’d read him a bedtime story tonight.”

Temari looked at him quizzically, “You sure you’re going to be able to keep that promise?”

Shikamaru shrugged, keeping his eyes on the coffee machine as it spurted chocolate brown liquid into the waiting pot, “Yeah, it’s not like it’s a big deal.”

She sighed and leaned her weight onto one leg. It wasn’t like she was accusing him of anything, in fact she knew wholeheartedly that Shikamaru wanted to be there and likely had every intention of doing so. The problem was that she also knew it would be damn near impossible considering his current schedule. “Well it will be a big deal to him if you’re not home in time.” She felt a pang of regret in her chest when she watched his expression harden. “Look, it’s one thing if you break promises to me, but he’s just a little kid. You can’t tell him one thing and then do another,” she added in a low whisper to ensure that said kid didn’t hear.

His eyes snapped up to meet hers—the suddenness of the movement making her flinch ever so slightly, “When have I ever broken a promise to you?”

She blinked, deciding not to bring up the ongoing promise of a second child that had been pushed off since Shikadai was three. “That’s not the point,” she said instead, “You’ll be home by seven then?”

Shikamaru moved to pick up the coffee pot by its plastic handle, “Seven? Isn’t that a little early for bed?” The coffee threw steam into his face as he poured and filled the stale air of the kitchen. 

“He’s five,” Temari retorted flatly, “Bedtime is seven thirty, so story time is at seven.”

Shikamaru seemed to wince, either at the realization of what he’d agreed to, or at the bitter coffee he was drinking; she wasn’t entirely sure. She never understood how he could possibly like it black, but he’d always insisted it was best that way. “Well maybe you can keep him up a little later tonight?”

“Kids need structure, I can’t just go changing it up on him.” She had a strict routine that she abided by every single night and she had no intention of bending it. All of the parenting books said to stick to your routine and she’d be damned if she was going to go against that advice. “I’ll tell him you won’t make it,” she added with a little huff.

“No!” he exclaimed, “I’ll make it work.”

Temari’s eyes flitted over his face and his resolute expression. She would be the one to pick up the pieces if he couldn’t make it home in time. She would be the one who’d have to assure their son that his father loved him very much and that something very very important had kept him away. She sighed, “You better.”

Shikadai came racing back into the kitchen, heels thumping on the wooden planks of the floor as he ran. “Hi Mama!” he chirped as he skidded to a stop.

Temari shot him a lopsided smile, taking in his rumpled attire. “Good morning, Duckling,” she said gently as she reached down to smooth out his tee shirt and tighten his ponytail.

“Who’s comin’ to get me today?”

Temari straightened and checked the paper calendar that hung loosely on the side of the refrigerator, “It’s Aunty Ino’s turn, so be good for her ok?” Then as an afterthought, she added, “And be nice to Chocho.”

Shikadai huffed animatedly and crossed his tiny arms over his even tinier chest, effectively re-wrinkling his shirt, “I am nice! Inojin’s the one that’s always being mean!”

Behind her, Shikamaru suppressed a laugh. When she turned to glare at him, he looked to the ceiling and quickly downed the rest of his coffee. She rolled her eyes and turned back to her son, “You boys are always ganging up on her. I’m counting on you to keep the peace, got it?”

Shikadai pouted, but dropped his arms nonetheless, “Yes, Mama.”

“Do you have everything you need? Pencils, paper, books?” Temari listed, going over the checklist in her head. Shikadai only nodded. 

Shikamaru tapped her arm with a warm mug of coffee, which she graciously accepted before he was crouching down to Shikadai’s height. “What are you three studying today, anything good?”

Shikadai shrugged, “Akimichi Clan stuff I think, that’s what we worked on last week.” Suddenly his face lit up as he recalled a question that he’d been meaning to ask, yet hadn’t had the chance to until this very moment. “Daddy, is it true that Uncle Chouji can transform into a giant?” he asked urgently.

Shikamaru smiled, “Yes he can, and it’s pretty damn impressive!”

Temari kicked him in the rear.

“I m-mean it’s just impressive, ignore that…other word.”

Shikadai hardly seemed phased by the cursing, but rather went straight into lamenting, “Aww man, that's way cooler than shadow paralysis! How come we can’t turn into giants?”

Temari snorted, pulling the same move as Shikamaru by gulping down her coffee to distract herself. He’d mixed it with cream and sugar to the exact specifications in which she liked it despite his strong belief that by doing so, she was ruining the flavor. 

Shikamaru tried to brush past the blow to his ego, though he couldn’t disguise his twitching eye. “Tell you what…tonight for your bedtime story I’ll tell you a really good one that has all the cool jutsu’s our clan can use, alright? 

Shikadai pondered it. “Mmmk, but only if you add a dragon. The kind that breathes fire.”

Shikamaru sighed defeatedly. 

Just then, there was a gentle rapping on their front door. Shikadai bolted for it, sliding it open with a loud clack to reveal his aunt and cousins on the other side. 

His parents waved him off before he disappeared into the quiet morning, off to study hard, or more realistically—fall asleep during class. 

“So you’ve got the morning off then?” Shikamaru asked just as soon as the door closed again. 

Temari hummed in confirmation, “I’ve got errands to run and then I’ll be off on a mission in the afternoon. It’s local though so I’ll be back in time to pick him up.”

“Let’s walk together then, what’s your first stop?”

“Post office.”

 

***

 

“So I was hoping we could talk about something,” Shikamaru offered after they had barely taken three steps out the front door. 

Temari adjusted the strap of her tote bag and answered without looking up at him. “Oh, so you mean you didn’t opt to take the long way to work out of the kindness of your heart?”

He swallowed, then cleared his throat nervously. “Well, it’s just that I’ve been pretty busy with work lately…”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” 

Her tone was dripping with sarcasm, but in a way it comforted him, since she was acting relatively herself instead of being concerned with what he was trying to say. “Right. Well…I just thought, for now…becuase of the fact that I’m otherwise occupied…” he tried, looking anywhere besides her pointed gaze which was now fixed tightly on him.

Temari sighed in aggravation and swatted his arm, “Spit it out already!”

He really didn’t want to say this to her, not after he’d had to say the same thing the last two years prior. Shikamaru felt a pit start to grow in his stomach, a sinking feeling overwhelming him at the thought of disappointing her. “I think we need to postpone baby number two,” he suddenly blurted with his eyes squeezed shut. He awaited the imminent impact, but was surprised when she said nothing. He peeked open one eye, assessing her in his peripheral vision.

“...I sort of figured,” Temari sighed, looking straight ahead as they continued to walk. She didn’t look crushed by the news, more so it was like she was resigned to the idea.

His eyebrows knitted together in concern, fearing he’d wounded her far more than she was letting on. “I’m sorry Tem, it’s just not the right time right now.” It was the same excuse he always used. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want another kid, Shikadai was the most incredible thing he’d ever created, so of course he would want him to have a little brother or sister. On top of that, he knew it would make Temari happy to have another baby and her happiness was waning ever since he’d formally become Naruto’s advisor and could hardly spend time with her anymore. Yet, after Shikadai had been born, there never seemed to be a good time for another. They were too overloaded with work and taking care of a newborn. Now, things were even worse since Temari was back to her kunoichi work and he had his advisor job. 

Her voice pulled him out of his guilt-ridden thoughts, causing him to look at her fully for the first time since they’d started walking. “No it’s ok…I actually agree with you,” she said with a shrug, as if she didn't have a care in the world. 

“You do?” he balked, nearly stopping in his tracks.

Temari only rolled her eyes and kept her normal pace, “Of course I do. We barely see each other these days with our schedules, we can’t drop a newborn into that.” As much as she relished the idea of having a big family and giving her son siblings like she herself had, Temari was a realist. She was not about to blow her life up and make her relationship with her husband even more complicated than it already was. According to Hinata, she and Naruto didn’t even have the time for pithy conversations such as the one she was having with Shikamaru right now.

Shikamaru’s shoulders slumped as the weight of his anxiety dissolved out of them, “Oh, well that’s a relief. I guess I just thought…”

“What?”

“Well the other day, you were pretty upset that we didn’t get around to…”

Temari’s eyebrows shot upwards toward her hairline, disbelief clouding her eyes,“You think I was upset because you skipped out on baby making ?” 

Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, embarrassment tinting his nose and cheeks, “Well…yeah?”

Temari laughed, hiding her smile behind her hand, “Have you ever considered that I am a grown woman with desires and needs ?” Shikamaru’s face only grew redder at the thought. She had always been a bit more mature about this kind of thing and even now after seven years of marriage, he could still get embarrassed at these types of conversations. “I’d like to think that it has at least crossed your mind once or twice that I actually enjoy having sex with you,” Temari added, a devious smirk lighting up her face when it was starting to look like he’d keel over.

“O-oh well, yeah! I mean of course, that’s also…part of it, I guess I just thought that wasn’t the main part of it,” he choked out. He turned his eyes to the clouds and tried to think of other things—literally anything else would do.

Temari sighed,“Trust me, that’s the main part of it.” She waited a beat, deciding whether or not she was done with her teasing, but as they rounded a corner and the post office came into view another quip came to mind. “Seriously, pretty soon I’m gonna have to start sleeping with the postman like some kind of lonely housewife cliché.”

Shikamaru coughed, trying to steady himself and clear his head. “The longer hours are only temporary. Once Naruto is more settled into the Hokage position things will go back to normal,” he insisted, his coloring finally beginning to go back to normal. He eyed the post office in the distance, each step bringing them a bit closer to it. When he felt he had his composure back, he added, “And our postman is a woman by the way.”

Temari’s expression turned thoughtful, turning her head to one side and placing her index finger at the center of her chin. “I think I could make that work. Is she hot?” she hummed sweetly.

“That question sounds like a trap,” he croaked in return.

Temari gasped playfully, a broad smile taking over her features, “Wow you really are smart!”

Shikamaru’s eyes lingered on her, taking in the glow of her grin. “That’s what they tell me.” 

When they reached the post office, they had fallen into a comfortable silence. They stopped outside the front doors as patrons made their way in and out. Temari was about to bid him farewell when he stopped her with his words. “You’re really ok with it then?”

Her expression softened. She knew that if she really was opposed to it, he’d figure something out so that she could have everything she wanted, baby and all. “I think…we’re better off waiting, at least until we get this figured out,” she declared, gesturing between them with her hand.

Shikamaru seemed relieved, as if he hadn’t truly believed her before, but was finally accepting it now. “We will,” he stated assuringly. She allowed herself to believe him despite having no idea how they would. “Let me know if you find any eligible bachelors in there,” he added, nodding his head towards the post office.

She snorted, then let her expression even out into faux seriousness, “Will do.” Temari reached up to the neckline of her kimono dress, prying the fabric down and away so that she could hike up her chest a bit. She wiggled her eyebrows at him before turning to walk inside. 

“Troublesome woman,” Shikamaru muttered as he fought back yet another blush and turned tail to head to work.

 

***

 

Temari made quick work of her errands, never one to dilly dally when there was work to do. She was about to head home to start preparing for her mission when she saw a familiar face in her peripheral vision. 

“Tenten,” she greeted as she meandered towards the kunoichi’s weapons shop. It appeared to be a slow day, though she couldn’t recall ever having seen the place all that busy—so perhaps it was just an average day. 

Tenten was seated outside the shop on an overturned bucket, fiddling with something in her hands. When she heard Temari call her name, her head snapped up to meet her gaze. “Temari! Hey, long time no see,” she said with a weary smile. 

Temari eyed the metal objects in her hands as she grew closer, eventually recognizing it as a blade and a sharpening block. “Well if you came out for our weekly brunch once in a while it wouldn’t have to be so long,” Temari fired back teasingly. 

Tenten groaned, this topic of conversation being one she got roped into often. “And sit around with a bunch of moms talking about the joys of having children and husbands? No thank you.” She went back to her sharpening then, but there was a smile on her lips all the same.

Temari leaned against the side of the shop, crossing her arms over her chest and looking out at the street full of passersby. “Oh come on, we talk about much more than just that! We all miss you, y’know?” Temari sighed. Tenten was a bit of a recluse in their friend group, always hard to pin down and never one to reach out and make plans. It didn’t really bother Temari, but Ino and Sakura absolutely took it personally. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tenten grumbled, keeping her eyes on her work, “We’ll make plans soon. I’ve just been busy, that's all.”

Temari craned her neck towards the entrance of the empty shop, “Well clearly not with work.” Tenten’s eye twitched slightly at that one, her face paling even in the warm glow of the summer sun. “So what are you so busy with then? Dating someone ?” Temari taunted, leaning in closer to try and catch her eyes.

Tenten only snorted, “I wish.” She sat back on her bucket, finally dropping the sharpening block to the cobble stone street and re-sheething the knife in her belt. “The dating pool in Konoha is atrocious. There’s like three other lesbians and they’ve all dated each other,” she sighed, “I don’t want any part in that drama.”

Temari nodded along, then followed Tenten's gaze to the shop across the street. The store front was unfamiliar to her—a new store having just moved into the vacant space. The sign boldly claimed it was called “Heaven’s Boutique”, and while that was originally lost on Temari, she quickly put the pieces together when her eyes wandered to the mannequin in the window that was clad in nothing but a mesh nightie. 

“Man…what I wouldn’t give to see a pretty girl in something like that,” Tenten lamented, gesturing with her chin towards the mannequin. 

Temari reddened and averted her gaze from the shop windows, “Jeez, you sound like such a guy.”

“Sorry,” she sighed, “You probably get enough of that kind of talk from Shikamaru.”

She didn’t mean it as a teasing jab, and she hadn’t been privy to the conversation had at brunch the other day, so she really was none the wiser. Even still, Temari couldn’t help but bristle at the statement. “Hardly,” she grumbled, “I doubt he’d even notice if I walked around town in that thing.”

At this, Tenten's eyes widened. She pivoted on the bucket so that she could look at Temari fully, “Seriously?” Her face reddened and she looked away from Tenten’s prying gaze, almost ashamed. “Well why don’t you test the theory?” she asked, smirking deviously, “What do you say, couple loops around the block?”

Temari gave her a bonk on the head with a little more force than she’d intended. “Not a chance,” Temari laughed, then shoved off the building side to get back on her way, “I’ve got a mission to get to, but I’ll see ya later pervert!”

***

 

“Mommy, what time is it?” Shikadai asked without looking up at her—he was far too preoccupied with the various rubber bath toys floating on the surface of the water. 

Temari was halfway to a lather with her hands tangled in the long black strands of his hair. “It’s bathtime, that’s why you’re in the bath,” she answered. 

This earned a little giggle from him. “No Mama, I mean what does the clock say?”

“Hmmm,” Temari hummed as she worked the shampoo in his hair, “Well there isn’t a clock in the bathroom so I don’t really know.”

He sighed deeply, like the weight of the world was heavy on his little shoulders. She watched him as he listlessly dragged a yellow duck through the water, a pout slowly forming on his lips. Temari bit the inside of her cheek then quickly glanced over at the window that adorned the adjacent wall. It was definitely starting to get dark outside and there had yet to be any sign of Shikamaru. 

“He’ll be here, Button,” She whispered before scooping up some water with a little green pail. She fountained it over Shikadai’s head, washing out all the suds from the shampoo while he closed his eyes and leaned back. 

“How do you know?” he asked quietly. She could hear the disappointment in his voice already, like he was preparing to be let down. 

She reached for the bottle of conditioner and squirted some of it into the palm of her hand. “Because Daddy doesn’t break promises.” She wished she could say she’d said the words more confidently, after all Shikamaru hadn’t really given her a reason not to believe them, though she couldn’t help but worry she would be doing damage control tonight when he didn’t show. 

Shikadai seemed to accept the answer anyway and went back to splishing around with his toys while she finished with his hair. 

“Your hair’s getting long!” Temari mused as she ran her hands through it, “We should give you a trim soon.”

Shikadai turned to her, his face pinched up in distaste, “Nuh-uh, I want it long like Daddy’s.”

She smiled, “It’s longer than his! If you keep letting it grow, you’ll look like your Aunty Ino.”

Shikadai seemed to consider this for a while before deciding that that would be less than ideal. “Ok…but you can only cut a couple of them.”

“Only a couple?” she repeated in amusement, “How many are you willing to part with?”

Temari stood from where she was kneeling beside the bathtub, stretching out her stiff legs as she pulled a fresh towel from the linen closet. Shikadai looked like he was doing a complex math equation in his head when she returned, brandishing the towel for him. “I think maybe 25 would be ok,” he said finally as he stood and wrapped himself in the fluffy towel.

She grinned, “25 that’s it? I can only cut 25 hairs?”

He nodded, “30 would be too many, but 20 won’t be enough to make a difference!” 

Temari couldn’t help but laugh, little kid logic was fascinating. “Alright, well then that makes perfect sense. If I promise to count them will you let me cut it?”

Shikadai nodded again, bobbing his head up and down with enough vigor that the water clinging to his hair flung in every direction. Temari wrapped his towel tighter and started wiping away the moisture on his arms, then his stomach and legs. “Pretty soon you’re going to be too big for this,” she sighed mournfully, “You’ll have to take showers like all the grown-ups”

She thought back to her conversation with Shikamaru on their walk this morning, dwelling on the decision they’d made. Since they wouldn’t be having any more kids, at least not any time soon, she figured she ought to try and enjoy these final years of Shikadai’s toddler-hood. Though even the passing thought of it made her realize that he could hardly be called a toddler at all anymore. She frowned as she pulled a comb through his hair, wondering if there would ever be a ‘right time’ for a second kid. Frankly, they should have gotten ahead of it before Naruto became Hokage and Shikamaru his advisor. That’s what the Uzumaki’s had done though, and according to Hinata they were struggling to keep up. 

She reached around Shikadai to the vanity drawer where a pair of black handled scissors were buried underneath a mountain of hair ties. She started snipping at the ends of his hair with them, counting aloud after he reminded her of the importance of sticking to the 25 strand rule. She combed through it, sectioning off one inch chunks, declaring which number they were on, then slicing through it with the scissors. With the hair pulled behind his back, Shikadai was blissfully unaware of how much of his hair she was actually cutting, though once she was finished he didn’t seem to find anything amiss. 

“Alright, now we just need to dry your hair and get you ready for bed,” Temari instructed, glancing over to the darkening window again. “Why don’t you brush your teeth while I get the hair dryer?” she suggested, trying not to let on how worried she was starting to get. 

Shikadai agreed, standing on his tip toes in order to reach the top drawer of the vanity where his toothbrush lived. By the time she was done with his hair, his teeth were brushed and his pajamas were on, it was 6:57pm. 

Temari started running through what she would say to him as she tucked him under the sage green covers of his bed. She nuzzled his stuffed deer, affectionately named Tofu, into his arms and sat back on her heels about to suggest that she read him the first story of the night while they waited a little longer for Shikamaru. As much shit as she’d given him this morning about structure, she couldn’t help but try to give him a little wiggle room to get here. 

Just as she was about to speak, the front door slammed open followed by an almost panicked shout of, “I’m here!”

Shikadai’s face lit up like it was Christmas Day and he’d just met the real life Santa Claus. “Daddy!” he shouted back, trying to wrestle his way out of bed. Temari held him back, keeping the blankets tightly wrapped around him—she didn’t want him to get riled up right before bed.

Shikamaru was at the bedroom door in seconds anyway, looking as if he had been swallowed by some large animal and then spat back out again. His hair was in disarray, his clothes were rumpled and hanging at an odd angle and there were what appeared to be cat scratches on his face and neck. “What happened to you?” she asked incredulously. 

Shikamaru sighed and slumped into the room tiredly, “The thunder train is down for maintenance so I had to walk home, but I was never going to make it in time even if I ran the whole way so I took a short cut through Mr. Hanishi’s yard and got into a fight with his cat.”

Temari stifled a giggle, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth to hide the smile. She scooted over on the plush rug, “Well you’re just in time for a bedtime story, so it looks like it was worth it.”

Shikamaru shuffled over and knelt beside her, rubbing at his eyes weakly. Shikadai was wide awake, staring at him in anticipation of the killer bedtime story he was promised. Temari was eying him, skeptical that he would be able to pull himself together long enough to deliver. With a bit of hesitation, he pulled his hands away from his eyes, then brought them back and gave a harsh slap to either side of his face. 

“Alright!” Shikamaru exclaimed, “Story time, no problem!”

Temari watched in awe as he launched into a G-rated retelling of his battle with the Akatsuki member Hidan. She giggled right alongside Shikadai as he regaled them with the harrowing tale of a boy who set out to avenge his fallen sensei, making sure to add in slightly exaggerated descriptions of the Nara Clan’s jutsus. Shikadai seemed enthralled by it, sufficiently impressed by the story and his father’s skill in telling it. 

Just when the story was coming to a close, Temari stood and gathered up the knitted blanket at the foot of Shikadai’s bed. He always knocked out if she let it tumble in the dryer for a few minutes before turning out the lights. She glanced at the clock in the hallway as she trekked down it, noting that it was now ten minutes past their sons allotted bedtime. 

She sighed and shook her head wistfully, deciding that it was worth it to let him finish the story anyway. When she returned about fifteen minutes later with a warm blanket and glass of water in hand, Shikadai was already starting to nod off. 

Shikamaru’s voice had dipped from its original animated excitement down to a low mumble as he declared that everyone in his story lived happily ever after. Temari smiled, then draped the blanket over Shikadai and set the water down on his bedside table. She placed a kiss on his temple and turned off the lamp that illuminated the room. 

In the darkness, she grabbed at Shikamaru’s hand, hoisting him up from the ground and leading him back to the hallway. “Sweet dreams, little one,” she whispered before shutting the door behind them with a soft click .

They tiptoed their way to their own bedroom across the hall, making sure to be as quiet as humanly possible. Shikadai was a good sleeper, much like his father, but once he was awake they’d be hard pressed to get him down again. This was likely Temari’s genetics at play, since she was typically an early riser with a lot of energy. 

Shikamaru was already laying face down on their bed when she emerged from the en suite bathroom clad in a silky bathrobe. She hadn’t bothered with pajamas underneath since they’d only get in the way. “Shikamaru,” she whispered as she gave his shoulder a little shake. He only grumbled in return, barely conscious.

Temari climbed onto the bed next to him and swept her hand across his back. He turned his face towards her, but kept his eyes closed in a dazed half-sleep delirium. “Thank you for doing that,” she said softly. 

“Doin’ what?” he replied sluggishly. 

“The story, making it back in time…it…I know it meant a lot to him.”

He breathed out through his nose, long and heavy. “Scored some dad points then?”

She grinned and scooched a bit closer so she could tuck her head into his neck and place little kisses there. “And husband points too…” she trailed.

Shikamaru lifted an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. He slid his eyes open an inch, if only just to get another glimpse of her. “Those are my favorite kind, they’ve got a killer rewards program.”

She couldn’t help but giggle, enjoying their familiar banter. She lifted her face away from his neck and gripped hold of his shoulders, rolling the both of them over in one quick movement. She sat over his hips, one hand on his chest while the other fiddled with the tie on her robe. “Care to cash some of them in then? I think by now you’ve earned yourself a prize.”

He moved to rest his hands on her thighs, then slid them up to her hips. His eyes were half lidded, still clouded with his exhaustion, but he was clearly trying his best to keep them open. “Have I now? That sounds really…sounds…really…”

Temari rolled her eyes at his slurring then moved her hand to pinch at his ear. His eyes shot open at the jolt of pain. “You’re nodding off. I am sitting on top of you naked, and you’re falling asleep ?” she hissed through gritted teeth.

Shikamaru whined and batted her hand away from his ear. “I’m sorry, I’m just really fucking tired, Tem. I had to work through lunch again and barely got any sleep last night since Shikadai woke me up this morning. Work is just kinda killing me right now.”

She deflated. As annoying as it was, she wasn’t heartless, and she could sympathize with his situation. He’d been going practically non-stop since Naruto had become Hokage. When he wasn’t at work he was taking care of their son or trying to entertain her whims. She sighed and slumped against his chest. “Well that’s why I got on top,” she grumbled into the fabric of his tee-shirt. 

Shikamaru laughed weakly and ran his hands up and down her back. “I’m good I swear,” he insisted, trying to perk up a bit, “I just need to wake up a little and then I’m all yours.” 

She liked the sound of that, though didn’t want to get her hopes up. She swiveled her head around so she could look up at him. “Are you sure?” she asked, wincing inwardly at how sad her voice sounded. 

Shikamaru sat up a little, propping himself up on his elbows. “Depends…are you really naked under there?” he asked, gesturing with his chin to her robe. 

Temari quirked an eyebrow, then sat up, “Why don’t you find out?”

He needed no further invitation, happily tugging on the satin ribbon that held the front closed. The fabric fell open revealing that she was indeed not lying , much to his delight. He reached up to cup her face in his hands, then pulled her in for a kiss, which she gleefully obliged. They hardly ever had time for kissing, not like this anyway. If they managed to find a few quick moments in the mornings, it was usually used for more interesting things. She never realized just how much she missed this though, always too wrapped up in the main event. 

Temari trailed her lips down his jawline to the crook of his neck. She slid her hands up under his shirt, brushing over the toned muscles underneath. She worked her way back up to his mouth, but pulled back a bit when she realized he’d stopped kissing her back. “Shikamaru?” 

He didn’t answer.

“Shikamaru,” she tried again, this time sitting all the way up so she could look at him fully. A soft snore rumbled through his nose. He was out cold.

 

***

 

“Well what did you expect?” Ino sighed, “You knew what you were getting into when you married him.”

They were seated at their usual table at their usual cafe for their once a week get-together which had slowly turned into a forum for marital grievances. Temari sneered at her friend, annoyed but also not surprised that she’d responded that way. “Oh come on, you can’t tell me that’s never happened to any of you?” When Sakura shrugged looking almost guiltily over the question, Temari blanched, “Right?”

Karui sighed, placing her elbows on the table and leaning her head into her propped up hands. “Chouji’s gotten hungry half way through before, but he’s never fallen asleep on me.”

Temari sank a bit in her chair, arms crossing over her chest, “It wasn’t on me, it was under me.”

“Well that’s better than in you.” All eyes turned in surprise to Hinata, who’d spoken for the first time since this conversation had started. She was bouncing Himawari on her hip while she sat, wearing an uncharacteristically irritated look on her face. 

“Don’t tell me that idiot…” Sakura stammered in disbelief, then shut up when Hinata’s glare only grew more fierce. 

Ino’s eyes went wide before she forced her gaze downward to her plate of salad. “That’s bleak,” she muttered under her breath. 

“God, Hinata that’s…” Temari trailed, trying to find something to say other than ‘way worse’. 

Hinata was shaking her head, “No, Ino’s right. It is bleak. I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do anymore.” It was jarring to see Hinata get angry, let alone swear. She had a very even temperament and was certainly more understanding about her husband’s position than Temari had been, and yet she seemed to have finally reached her breaking point.The girls looked on in amazement as she huffed to herself while strapping her daughter back into her stroller. “Something’s got to give. I have half a mind to go down to that office and demand Naruto have some time off, but who would I ask? He’s the one in charge!” She turned to look at Temari then, as if asking her to be in agreement. Since she certainly was, she nodded furiously, trying to lend her friend all the support she needed.

“Listen, Hinata…” Sakura attempted in a gentle voice, “If you ever need me to watch the kids for you-”

“That’s not the issue! If it were that simple I could have Hinabi babysit for me. The problem is him!” she exclaimed, though her airy voice made the statements sound much less intimidating. Before anyone could say another word, Hinata was standing to gather her things. “I’m sorry for blowing up I just…I think I just need to go home and cool off. It’s really warm out here, is all.”

“I’ll walk you,” Temari volunteered before she could stop herself. They had never really had much in common other than the fact that their husbands worked together closely, but that one similarity had given them plenty to commiserate over these past few months. They said their goodbyes to the others, who were very much still in shock over the whole ordeal, and were on their way to the Uzumaki’s. 

Hinata was silent as they walked, pushing the stroller ahead of her slowly like she was lost in thought. If it wasn’t for pre-school, they would both have their sons with them today as well. Shikadai took classes with the clan elders and other members of the Nara, Akimichi and Yamanaka Clan’s while Boruto studied over at the Hyuga complex. Their little standing lunch date was contingent upon that fact since their husbands were always too busy working and couldn’t watch them. 

“I think you scared them half to death,” Temari finally said, breaking the ice. 

Hinata looked up at her, regret painting her porcelain features. “I’m not sure what came over me…I just…” she trailed, looking off down the street as they continued walking.

“You snapped,” Temari said with a shrug, “We all have a breaking point, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Temari’s own level of patience was much lower than Hinata’s and frankly much more violent, so she hardly viewed her little outburst as unreasonable. 

Hinata was shaking her head, looking as if she wanted to hide behind something. “But that wasn’t like me at all! I don’t like the person I’m turning into.”

She sighed before placing a hesitant hand on Hinata’s shoulder. She was never very good at comforting people, truly the only nurturing bone in her body was spent on her son or perhaps her little brothers. “Well it doesn’t sound like Naruto has been himself lately either,” she said reassuringly, “Those two are working far too much…you know they aren’t even taking proper lunch breaks these days? It’s irresponsible, frankly.”

She didn’t reply, but nodded listlessly all the same. Just when they were nearing her street, Hinata stopped, halting the stroller in front of her and turning to Temari. “We can’t go on like this. Something has to change.”

Temari was taken aback, but stopped nonetheless, taking in her friend's determined expression. She nodded, slowly at first, but then more vigorously, “I’m with you, but…how?” Temari was at a loss for how they could create more time in the day or possibly reduce the amount of work their husbands were saddled with. There seemed like no obvious answer apart from forcing them both to resign. Since that wasn’t an option either, they were pretty much stuck waiting for the paperwork to slow down, if there would ever be such a day. 

“Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘Necessity is the mother of invention’?” Hinata asked, her snow white eyes boring into her own green ones. 

“I don’t think so, no.”

“It means that if there is a problem that needs to be solved, someone will solve it. If a solution is needed, one will be created,” she stated authoritatively, “I’m sure that we will figure it out, we just need to try something…new.” Temari pondered it, echoing the last word in her mind. Hinata was waving her off before she could say another thing. “I can walk the rest of the way on my own. Thank you for coming with me,” Hinata said with a smile, seemingly back to her usual self. 

Temari waved back, still lost in thought over what could possibly be done about their situation. Her feet started moving in the opposite direction, turning to walk back to her own home. She would need to pick up Shikadai soon and he’d want lunch. She absently considered what she had in the fridge and whether or not she should stop at a vegetable stand to get something fresh. As she meandered through the streets, she did her best to come up with some kind of solution. 

The first thing that sprung to mind was vacations. Or rather, some kind of scheduled time off that couldn’t be cancelled. She and Shikamaru never got to have a honeymoon since she’d been pregnant and hardly felt like traveling, so she figured she could convince him to take one now. A romantic getaway would frankly be perfect, the issue was getting someone to cover for him at work. In Naruto’s case, Shikamaru could cover relatively well, or even one of the retired Kage’s could step in in the case of an emergency. Shikamaru however, was shockingly harder to replace. Since he was also Kakashi’s advisor, he had no predecessor. Technically the next best thing would be Shizune and she was hardly qualified for the position in the first place. 

Temari sighed in frustration. Usually, if she had a problem like this one where she could find no solution on her own, her first instinct would be to ask Shikamaru. He was, after all, a genius—technically speaking of course, because in her opinion he was oftentimes a complete idiot. However, he had not seemed to come up with any viable solutions either, otherwise they would have already been implemented. 

Temari felt her pace start to slow as she rounded the corner. She gazed over at Tenten’s weapons shop, hoping to see her out front sharpening something like usual. However, as she drew closer she saw the sign on the door stating that the shop was closed for the day. She was probably out on a mission and wouldn’t be back for another few days. Temari felt herself deflate even further at the absence of her friend, her eyes wandering across the street to the newest addition to Konoha’s bustling economy—the lingerie store. 

She felt her cheeks start to redden merely at the sight of it, quickly looking away and marching past it. She’d made it exactly six paces away when her body stopped moving. Her heart raced with a nervous embarrassment she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Hinata had said they needed to try something new. Of course, just looking around a bit wouldn’t hurt, she figured. Though if someone saw her inside, she might actually keel over and die on the spot. God forbid anyone from the Nara Clan was inside, then what would she do? Suicide, she decided, it would be the only way.

Temari risked a glance at the shop over her shoulder, taking in the billowy yellow nightie that had been placed in the shop display window today. She was alone on the street given the odd hour of the day, so in retrospect, this was probably her best chance at going in without being spotted. She swallowed, then rigidly turned on her heel to walk to the front door. She tried to act confident as she swung it open but flinched at the loud chime of the bell. 

She hadn’t ever planned on stepping foot into this shop. Frankly, she hadn’t even given it a second thought since Tenten had pointed it out the other day. Yet, here she was staring in awe at a sea of intricate displays and mannequins.

Temari felt her flush return, blooming on her cheeks as she browsed the store. Her eyes raked over the featured pieces. There were body suits of lace, mesh skirts paired with skimpy bras, and lots of silk—real silk too, judging by the price tags. She never knew these things could have so many straps . Some of the designs were so complicated she had a hard time imagining how on earth she’d even put it on. 

To her left, there was a large rectangular display that sat like an island in between rows of mannequins. It had drawers on every side, stacked high like an apothecary cabinet, but instead of spices and herbs, each drawer was chock full of undergarments. Temari had never seen so many colors and patterns of underwear in her life. Sure they had clothing stores here in Konoha and back in Suna too, but the selection for intimates were always pretty slim.This shop however, was completely dedicated to such attire and she was spoiled for choice.

She perused through the drawers, looking at lace and ruffle alike, then moved on to flick through the nighties that hung on a rack on the other side of the store. Each new thing she picked up would put even her best lingerie to shame. In fact, she wondered if anything she owned could even be called lingerie compared to this. 

“Finding everything ok?” came a plucky voice from behind her. 

Temari practically jumped out of her skin, tossing the nightie to the side in a panic and whirling around to face her. The shop woman looked surprised, as if Temari was a wild animal that had somehow broken in. To be completely honest, she looked the part. “I-I’m…uh…I’m…” Temari stuttered uncharacteristically, her whole body heating up. 

Suddenly the shopkeeper's face changed into something more sympathetic. “First time?” she asked in a hushed tone despite the rest of the store being empty. 

Temari hesitated, but jutted out her chin a bit and nodded. “I don’t…even know where to start with this kind of stuff,” she admitted lamely. 

Luckily the shop girl smiled, “I can help with that.”

 

***

 

She carried the black bag home like it was a bomb, holding it at her side as stiffly as possible so that she didn’t jostle what was inside. Temari kept her eyes on her feet as she walked, ducking down less crowded streets whenever she came across them. 

When she finally made it to her home, she hurried in through the gate without bothering to lock it behind her. She raced into the house and slammed the door with a huff. The house was silent. A quick glance at the clock told her she had about two hours until she’d need to pick up Shikadai from school, which would give her plenty of time. 

She’d been far too embarrassed to try on her selection at the shop. Despite the shopkeeper being very friendly and helpful, Temari wasn’t exactly keen on parading around in lingerie for her. She assured the girl that she had the right size and that she wanted to check out as soon as humanly possible and get home, which is exactly what she had done. 

Now, standing in her bedroom in front of the floor length mirror, all that was left was to try it on. She stared at the bag sitting atop her dresser as if it had teeth. It wasn’t like she was particularly shy about sex, though she was a bit more reserved than Ino and Tenten. No it wasn’t shyness so much as it was fear. Fear that she’d look ridiculous, like she was trying too hard, like she was desperate for affection. 

“Oh please, he probably won’t even care,” she muttered aloud, if only to center herself. She quickly used the momentum to start stripping off her clothes, piling them in one big lump on the floor. She pulled out the underwear set first, inspecting the soft black lace and purple satin. Her usual stuff was much plainer, usually just cotton and black. Her version of getting fancy was wearing panties with a slightly smaller back so that her butt showed a bit more. These however, were on another level. 

She slipped them on over her hips and adjusted them until they were perfect before looking up in the mirror to get the full effect. “Well it fits…” she sighed, still unsure of herself. She decided she should also try on the matching bra, then stood back and inspected herself fully. 

The underwear was tied in little bows on either side, making them…efficient, or so said the shop keeper. There was a similar bow at the center of the bra to hold it closed. Frankly, the entire ensemble seemed to be designed for the express purpose of it being taken off, which while that made sense, it left her feeling a little bit precarious. One wrong move and she would unravel, like a sweater with a loose thread. 

She didn’t look awful, she thought, though it wasn’t much too different from any other set of underwear she had. Temari crept back over to the bag where the remaining purchases sat, neatly folded and tucked away under wisps of tissue paper. She pulled out a mess of elastic straps which the shop keeper had told her was called a garter belt. It was meant to be fastened at the waist on top of her underwear, then attached to a pair of stockings. 

She followed the mental list of instructions that were given to her on how to put the apparatus on her body, making quick work of the belt itself but struggling endlessly with the clips that fastened to the thigh high tights. When she had finally done up all four clips, her back was aching from all that twisting about. She sighed a breath of relief when she regarded herself in the mirror and saw that nothing seemed out of place or was slipping off.

“Who knew this would be so much work?” she groaned before stretching out a little. The movement sparked her attention in the mirror and she realized for the first time that she actually did look rather…pretty. Temari hardly ever considered herself as such, especially compared to the other girls in Konoha, but somehow in the mid-day light she felt a bit less inferior. She shook her head, clearing away the vain thoughts, “God knows if he’ll even be into this kinda thing.”

She unearthed the last item she’d purchased on her impromptu shopping spree: a black satin slip. She’d gone with black as her primary color, only opting for a bit of purple on the underwear set. She figured it was a safe bet since Shikamaru liked black, but now she was a bit worried it was underwhelming. Perhaps he would have preferred something more eye-catching, like red, or maybe he would have liked to see her in something yellow, on account of him always mentioning he liked her in that color. 

She sighed and pulled the slip on over her head. It had more shape to it than the other similar items she owned and was trimmed with a bit of lace. The slit that ran up the side showed a generous amount of her thigh and hip, even teasing the edge of the underwear. 

She stepped back and looked again, feeling a little like a clown in the unfamiliar getup. The woman looking back at her, was definitively her, but she looked more like a billboard model than what she usually found staring back at her. She turned around slowly, trying to catch a glimpse at all the angles. “Damn,” she mused, “Tenten kinda had a point.”

She felt a blush start to bloom on her cheeks at the embarrassment. The last time she genuinely felt this pretty was probably on her wedding day, and even then she had been two months pregnant and was a little bloated. She ran her hands over the smooth satin of the slip, feeling the lacey bra underneath. “What does it even matter?” she whispered defeatedly, “He spends more time looking at that stupid phone than he does at me.”

Her anger quickly spiked at the thought, recalling how the same infernal device had been the start of this whole thing in the first place. She was about to start ripping off the lingerie pieces to shove them in some corner of her closet to never be seen again when it hit her. Perhaps his phone, the very object that plagued her, was the key all along. 

Temari quickly fished for her own cellphone in her discarded purse. The device was something she’d hardly ever used, but was required to have on her at all times given her high ranking status in both her own clan and her husband’s. Really, she should only be using it in case of an emergency, but given the current state of her sex life she figured this could be considered as much. 

Temari flipped open the phone and navigated to Shikamaru’s contact address. Back when they were dating and lived in separate villages, they had sent a few sexually charged letters back and forth on occasion to keep things interesting. With the new invention of camera phones however, a whole new set of options became open to her. 

Her finger hesitated over the camera button, unsure of exactly what she was thinking of doing. Hinata had said they needed to come up with something new and this would certainly meet that criteria. Temari clicked the button and squinted at the little screen, looking at her awkward form reflected in the mirror. She couldn’t just send him any old picture, even if she was dressed like this—she had to at least pose a little. 

Feeling quite ridiculous Temari did just that, pushing her chest a bit forward, then popping out her hip. After a few snaps she started to get the hang of it, finding better and better angles that really showcased the outfit. She slipped off the strap of the slip, teasing a glimpse of the bra, then stripped the whole thing off to truly reveal what was underneath. 

She giggled to herself as she flipped through the photos, only saving the best ones to send. She felt a little insane for even thinking up something like this, but if it did the trick who was she to question it? She hesitated over the send button, looking over the selection of images one more time and debating it. She decided to add a caption, something fun and flirty, and maybe a little mean since she knew Shikamaru liked that even if he wouldn’t admit it.

When she was done all that was left was to hit send. She sat on the edge of the bed, mulling it over. There was always a chance that he’d left his phone on his desk and stepped into a meeting. If that were the case, anyone could pick it up and see something that was certainly not intended for them. She bit her thumbnail in thought. There was also the possibility that he was completely outraged by her forwardness and her lack of respect for working hours. 

She sighed. Then of course there was the possibility that he’d tell her she looked pretty. Perhaps he’d even try extra hard to make some time for her when he came home tonight. With a deep breath and a blind leap of faith, Temari squeezed her eyes shut and hit send.

 

***

 

Shikamaru leaned into the sill of the open window letting out a large puff of smoke as he sighed up at the sky. He was about halfway through a stack of paperwork regarding a trade agreement with the Land of Clouds when he decided to move to sit at the window and have a smoke while he read it over. All he really needed to do was sign his initials next to each clause so it was hardly a lot of effort. The primary delay with the task was due to the fact that it was four hundred and thirty two pages long. 

“What a drag,” he groaned, bringing the cigarette back to his lips with his left hand and initialling with his right. Naruto was stuck in a meeting with Katasuke, who’d just been appointed to head up the scientific ninja tools department. 

He’d made it another two pages before his phone started buzzing in his pocket signalling a slew of text messages. He heaved another heavy sigh and stuck his pen behind his ear so he could fish it out. If it was Naruto he would have to answer it as soon as possible and he knew if he left the messages for too long, he’d completely forget to respond at all. 

He flipped open the phone to see ten new messages from Temari. He stiffened. She never sent him texts, even if she really needed to talk to him she would always call instead. His mind raced with the possibilities of what could be the matter. Perhaps she’d been kidnapped and held hostage and the only way to get in contact with him was to type out a few silent messages. He hastily opened the first message to find it blank. 

Puzzled, he looked closer, then saw that an image was slowly downloading. When it was done, his phone delivered a delightful ping noise. He opened the image and nearly fell out the window. Shikamaru sat up in a blur, sending the trade agreement paperwork crashing to the floor of the Hokage’s office. His eyes widened and his jaw went slack causing the cigarette to drop from his lips and plummet out the open window to its death. 

The picture was of Temari, in lingerie .

His thumbs flew to the keyboard and flipped to the next picture, watching the download bar in agony. When it finally opened he found that she was wearing even less clothing in this one. “Holy shit,” he said in disbelief, then scrolled and loaded the next one, “ Holy shit! ”

Shikamaru was beside himself, scanning through the pictures like a man starved. Temari was never one for frills, so he’d never expected her to buy something so needlessly frilly . His eyes raked over the images like he was looking at God herself. He stopped on one where her fingers were twisted up in the strings of her panties, playing with the knot of the bow that held them in place. He swallowed thickly then muttered, “Fucking…fuck.”

It was then that he realized there was a caption below all the pictures. It was only a single line of text, but it was enough to send all the blood in his body rushing between his legs. 

“Do you think the mail woman will like my new outfit?” it read. 

Shikamaru stood up, causing the remaining papers to fly around the room in sheets of white confetti. He sat back down just as quickly, unsure of what to do. This was not exactly charted territory and he wanted more than anything not to fuck it up. 

Suddenly the door to the office was flung open with Naruto on the other side. “Oi that was a long meeting,” he complained, “What are you up to Shikamaru?”

He paled, feeling his heart rate skyrocket. He knew if he were caught looking at these kinds of photos at work he’d be fired and probably laughed out of the village and his clan to boot. In an instant, he turned on the sill and launched the cell phone as hard as he could out of the window. The phone arced into the air before hurtling down to the ground where it shattered into a million pieces. “Nothing!” he screeched, answering Naruto’s casual question in a not-so-casual way. 

Shikamaru could feel the flush of embarrassment on his face, but for once he was thankful for it since it meant less blood in his lower regions. 

Naruto was frozen in place, looking at him in stunned silence. “...Are you…ok?” he asked finally, raising a quizzical eyebrow at his advisor. Shikamaru could only nod, afraid that if he tried to use his voice he would choke. His eyes tracked Naruto as he slowly paced inside the room. He frowned at the mess of papers scattered across the floor. “Jeez, are these those trade agreement documents I asked you to look over? What a mess…”

When Naruto knelt down to start gathering the pages, Shikamaru quickly got up and hurried to the door, grabbing a manila folder off the Hokage’s desk as he passed it. “Listen Naruto,” he started shakily, “I need to um…I have to go…run an errand so-”

“An errand? Can’t it wait until after work?”

He cleared his throat, “N-no, it really has to be right now.”

Naruto sighed and shuffled the documents in his hands before finally standing back up to face him. His eyes quickly dropped to the folder Shikamaru was holding rather awkwardly in front of himself. “Alright…well you know the drill. You’ve got to fill out the request form if you’ve got a task to do in the village during the work day.”

Shikamaru shook his head, “Sorry uh…this is a personal…matter. I need to take a lunch break.”

Neither of them had had a proper lunch break in at least two months so demanding one now was rather out of the blue. However, Shikamaru felt he was entitled to at least a bit of allotted time during the day to do whatever, or rather whoever,  it was that needed doing. “You’re taking a lunch break?” Naruto echoed, “Seriously? We have a mountain of work to get done.”

Shikamaru scowled, “Yes we do, but it’s never going to get done under these working conditions.” Naruto seemed a bit taken aback by that statement, but the guilt in his eyes told him he agreed. “I’ll be taking a long lunch today, I’m not sure when I’ll be back, and I’ll be taking a proper lunch break from here on out as well or you can find yourself a new advisor.”

Naruto blanched, holding up his hands in surrender. “There’s no need to quit!” he said in a slightly panicked tone. Frankly, Naruto was screwed if Shikamaru refused to be his advisor, so he couldn’t risk losing him after only just taking the position. “Take as much time as you need,” Naruto assured, “We’ll…work something out for lunch breaks going forward.”

Shikamaru nodded once, then fled out of the office as quickly as his feet would allow.

  She was still in the bedroom when he got there. He heard her call out when he slammed their front door open and tossed the folder aside, but didn’t bother answering. 

Temari was still standing in front of the mirror, trying her best to snap a few more pictures that showed off her best assets. She heard the door open, then heavy footsteps marching down the hall. She was nearly ready for a fight with an enemy ninja when he threw open the bedroom door looking like he was about to eat her alive. “Shika…maru?” she stammered, unable to comprehend how he was here in the middle of the day. 

He stalked over to her wordlessly and gripped the cellphone that hung from her hand. He brought it up to her face and seethed, “Are you fucking insane?”

Temari swallowed, unsure of how she was meant to take this. “I um…I thought it would be fun.” 

His face pinched up into an expression of disbelief. “Fun? Fun ? You nearly sent me into cardiac arrest, troublesome woman.”

She wasn’t sure if he was angry about the photos themselves or the fact that she’d sent them in the middle of the workday. In all honesty, she couldn’t really tell if he was actually angry at all or if he was just pent up. “So then…you like them?” she asked carefully. 

“Like them? Are you kidding?” he stammered, causing her to lift an eyebrow at him in confusion. He rolled his eyes and huffed, “Of course I fucking liked them Tem, I’m not blind. But you’ve got to give a guy some warning first!” 

She flushed, a smile tugging at her lips. “Sorry…I just,” she averted her eyes from his, unwilling to look at him dead on when she confessed to something so meek. “You’ve been so wrapped up in work lately so I was beginning to think that maybe you’d lost interest. I thought maybe sending something to your work phone might be the only way to get your attention.”

Shikamaru blinked, unable to comprehend what she’d just said to him. He dropped the cellphone to the floor with a loud clatter and brought his hands to her shoulders to force her to look at him again. “Temari,” he started, his voice low and serious, “Every minute of my life that I don’t spend fucking you is a minute wasted.”

Temari’s flush quickly turned into a whole body blush. She was at a loss for words, staring into his dark eyes that seemed somehow even more shadowed than usual. She swallowed a lump in her throat, flinching slightly when she felt the familiar slither of his shadows sliding up her legs. Shikamaru leaned in closer so that their faces were mere inches apart, “Now are you gonna get on the bed yourself or do I have to drag you there?”

 

***

 

All eyes were trained on her as Temari slowly made her way to their usual table. She was trying with significant difficulty not to draw attention to the slight limp she was walking with, though when she sat down, a bit too carefully and much too slow, her friends picked up on it anyway. 

“The hell happened to you?” Ino asked outright, sipping at the iced coffee she’d already ordered. 

“Did you get injured on a mission or something?” Hinata questioned, voice laced with worry. She was clutching little Himawari to her chest, absently bouncing her while she sucked on her pacifier. 

Temari blushed fiercely, holding up her hands to brush away their concerns. “No no, it’s nothing like that. It’s really nothing to worry about.”

Sakura laced her eyebrows together and tilted her head to assess her friend. “Are you sure? You know you can always pop by the hospital and I can give you a quick check up! I could even do one now if you’ve got an injury.”

Somehow, Temari’s face got even redder than she’d originally thought possible, “It’s not really an injury…I'm just a bit sore, that’s all!”

Karui snorted, then ducked her face behind a cherry filled pastry to hide her wicked smile. The other girls turned to her, taking in her expression, before looking back to the red-faced Temari. A cool breeze rolled over their shoulders as each of them figured it out independently. “Oh! I see,” Sakura coughed.

“God…” Ino muttered with a shiver, “I guess he’s not always lazy then.” To this day, she still struggled to talk with Karui and Temari about their sex lives, since she practically saw Shikamaru and Chouji as brothers. Temari couldn’t really blame her, since hearing about Kankurou’s parade of one night stands always made her queasy. Since he started dating Kiba those stories ceased, but now she had to avoid the far too chatty Inuzuka at all costs if she wanted to remain blissfully unaware of certain details.

Hinata cleared her throat. “So then I suppose that means you two found some time then to um…,” she glanced down at the little girl in her lap, “Reconnect?”

Temari’s blush was fading from the all over redness down into a pink tinge around her cheeks. She looked in either direction, making sure that there were no eavesdroppers hanging around. “Well…I think…I may have…invented something,” she said carefully.

“Invented?” Karui parroted around a mouthful of pastry. 

Temari nodded and leaned in closer, like she was about to drop top secret information. “Do you remember that thing Ino came up with last summer with the popsicles?” she whispered. The other girls who were leaning in towards the table as well, nodded along with anticipation. 

“Works every time,” Ino remarked.

“Bananas are good too,” Sakura added as an aside, to which Karui hummed in agreement.

“Well I’ve got another one of those…tricks…I think,” Temari explained, “And it worked…like really, really worked!”

“Well obviously it did, we could see that limp from a mile away,” Karui mused with a light chuckle.

“Gross,” said Ino.

“Continue,” Hinata insisted, then more gently, “Please…”

Hinata was in a similar position to her, so Temari understood the urgency of the situation. These meetings weren’t just social calls after all, they were a means of sharing valuable information between newly wedded women. Hinata and Sakura were the first among them to have babies and the insight they passed down was truly invaluable. As the years wore on, the subject of sex became less taboo between them and conversations involving popsicles and the like started sprouting. This anecdote however, would be Temari’s first official recommendation to the rest of the group. 

“I’m calling it sexting.”

 

***

Shikamaru yawned and stretched an arm over his head as he paced down the long hallway of the Hokage’s office building. He was shuffling through a handful of papers for Naruto to sign, placing the most important ones on top. When he stopped in front of the familiar mahogany door and inched it open, he was surprised to find Naruto sitting at his desk, staring wide eyed at his cell phone. 

Shikamaru hesitantly stepped inside, brandishing the papers in one hand. He was about to announce himself when Naruto’s eyes flicked upward to meet his own. Naruto’s face was tomato red and there was a bead of sweat on his forehead, threatening to drip down his face. Shikamaru said nothing, staring at his counterpart for what felt like a full minute when in reality it was probably just a few seconds. 

Suddenly there was a cerulean glow emanating from Naruto’s palm, followed by shards of plastic erupting all around the room. The cell phone that was once in his hand was shattered by a needlessly powerful rasengan. “Shikamaru!” Naruto coughed awkwardly, “I um…I thought you were in the archives room.”

Shikamaru blinked, “I was…I brought you these to sign.”

Naruto cleared his throat and began shuffling paper around on his desk nervously. “I’ll have to get to them when I get back, you can just leave them here!”

“Get back? Where are you going?”

Naruto laughed, the sound of it strange and unfamiliar. It was clear to him that he was hiding something, though Shikamaru wasn’t quite sure what. Perhaps he’d gotten an important message from another kage and had blown the phone to smithereens to prevent anyone from seeing the sensitive nature of it. Naruto was standing from his desk now, gathering the papers into a pile that he held over his lap. Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow upwards. 

“I think I’m going to take one of those long lunches you were talking about!” Naruto said as he shuffled around the desk, “Stop by home…maybe see Hinata for a little bit.”

Shikamaru blanched as the realization hit him. Naruto waved a quick good bye and hurried out the door before anyone could stop him. “Oh my God…” he muttered after the silhouette of Naruto’s back disappeared down the hall, “They’re sharing intel?!”

Notes:

Bonus:

“Are you telling your friends about our sex life?!”
*Temari, sucking suggestively on a popsicle* “Oh yeah, definitely.”

 

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