When Life Gives You A Fucking Baby

by SpringWinter

Summary:

Wei Wuxian gets the surprise of his life. The product of this kicks off a few things: namely, Jiang Yanli finally getting sick of her parents, Jiang Cheng Getting A Grip, and Lan Wangji fistfighting his uncle in a Denny's parking lot.

That last one might have been exaggerated.

-

Wei Wuxian starts to feel unwell halfway through dinner with the Jiangs...

Notes:

So. I would apologize, but I'm not actually sorry.

What I am is TIRED. I wrote over 20,000 words in seven days. This idea has possessed me, taken over my every waking thought, and has had me desperately trying to finish scenes on the toilet, on car rides, IN CHURCH during service.

I need to be free.

The working title of the doc I'm writing this in is The Prophecy AKA Hell. The Prophecy, because it literally came to me in a dream. I dreamt of this pining couple who had a slime kid, but the birthing partner didn't know he was a kid until slime solidified into a toddler at age two--anyway, it had angst. It had a plot. And then I woke up and my sleep-addled mind somehow PERFECTLY translated the situation to Wangxian except with like a thousand times more angst and family drama. I wrote a 4,000-word confession. Before that, I wrote almost 20,000 words of Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng being the best siblings, and Madame Yu/Jiang Fengmian being the worst parents.

The Hell part of the title is self-explanatory, I think.

I should be writing K-Pop Demon Hunter's fanfic right now. Instead, I'm writing about a twink giving birth. What the actual fuck.

Anyway, enjoy. Please comment. I need people to commiserate with my misery before I explode. The weight of this prophecy is killing my shoulders.

Chapter 1: Borth

He starts to feel unwell halfway through dinner with the Jiangs. 

 

Everything else has been manageable. He's had nausea here and there, the weird feeling of indigestion, this and that. He'd just made sure to throw up where others couldn't see; it had been overall a manageable experience. There had been bouts of tiredness, too, but Wei Wuxian was used to putting a nice face on through those types of things. 

 

The cramping is new.

 

“A-Xian?” Shijie asks him softly, looking concerned. On the other side of the table, Madame Yu and Jiang Fengmian are arguing with each other, one with barbed words and the other with passive-aggressive ones. They're not paying attention. 

 

“I'm fine, Shijie,” he says, putting his smile back on to comfort his sister. 

 

It's really not that bad, just alien. He sticks a pin in it. The focus right now is to keep the family dinner from exploding. 

 

“And you three?” Madame Yu finally turns to them. “At least finish your food, you ungrateful children. Wei Wuxian, I'd think you'd be more grateful for the meal on your plate after we saved you from starving to death!”

 

Wei Wuxian begins to shovel food into his mouth as Jiang Fengmian opens his mouth to defend him. He resists closing his eyes. It’s not his fault, but it always makes things worse. 

 

Jiang Cheng is taking small bites of his food next to him. His eyes are far away. 

 

The meal ends with Madame Yu storming away, and Jiang Fengmian gives them a distant, apologetic smile and returns to his office. 

 

Jiang Cheng follows, leaving immediately with stomping steps. Wei Wuxian makes to go after him, but a sharper cramp catches him by surprise, and he flinches, staggering. 

 

“A-Xian?” Shijie calls again. “Are you alright?”

 

Wei Wuxian turns to her and suppresses a wince. 

 

“Yes, Shijie, I swear! I think I'll retire for today, though, your turn to cheer Jiang Cheng up today, okay?”

 

He ignores his sister's worried gaze and scurries away to his room. 

 

When he gets there, the pain is worse. 

 

Okay, so maybe he lied before. It hasn't been just some nausea and tiredness. 

 

Basically, a few weeks ago, his dick had disappeared. It was a truly mournful day! Wei Wuxian had figured it had been a curse, but hadn't been in a very big hurry to cure it. It wasn't like he had been using it previously, except for that… one, fun time with Lan Zhan back in Cloud Recesses. Plus, even then, Lan Zhan had been doing most of the work. 

 

Now, though, his new crotch, which was unfortunately very womanly, felt like it was on fire. 

 

‘Is this what menstruation is?!’ Wei Wuxian thinks frantically to himself. 

 

If this was what women went through, he had multiple apologies to give for underplaying the severity of it. 

 

Just then, a rush of liquid suddenly trickles down his thighs, soaking his pants. He swears. 

 

He's embarrassed at first, but quickly realizes it has no smell, so it can't be urine. He takes his pants off and debates on putting some new ones on, but they had felt uncomfortable before the wetting, and he's unlikely to go out again since it's so late. He just throws them somewhere farther in the room and lies down on his bed to try and soothe the cramping with a nap. 

 

He wakes up a short time later to the worst pain he's felt in his life. 

 

He refuses to scream, so instead he grits his teeth and whimpers. 

 

His body has a spasmodic effect, almost, where he feels like he has to sit up and push forward. He lifts himself upwards, but is struck by another shock of pain. There’s horrible pressure in his stomach, and when he feels it with his palm, it feels unnaturally taut. 

 

Then he feels something… shift, inside of him. 

 

Wei Wuxian covers his mouth to stop the sound of revulsion that threatens to come out of his throat. 

 

He hates it. He hates the feeling, hates the feeling of whatever this is shifting inside of him, slipping in his body…

 

Another wave of pain hits him. He closes his eyes as tightly as he can and grits his teeth through it. 

 

There’s something wrong. 

 

Wei Wuxian thinks he might be dying. 

 

He considers calling for help, but immediately discards the idea. It’s fine, he can figure it out himself, he can–

 

His body jerks again. He has to focus really, really hard not to scream.

 

It goes like that for some time, his body tensing without his volition and him trying to stay as quiet as possible, hoping it passes soon. He resigns himself after a bit, ready to pass on if it means this pain ends.

 

Then he feels it.

 

Something is coming out of him. 

 

Wei Wuxian scrambles up, going to feel between his legs. He feels a round object and rips his hand away like it’s on fire. 

 

This cannot be happening to him. Someone did this to him. Someone cursed him, and now there’s something coming out of him.

 

Wei Wuxian feels suddenly very, very faint. 

 

Another push comes over him, and he feels his body rear forward. He’s struck by the smell of blood, but still doesn’t let himself make a sound. He just groans in pain instead, voice low as he can make it.

 

It hurts. It hurts.

 

“What the fuck,” he whines, voice faint. “Was I cursed, was I–”

 

He cuts himself off with a quiet cry of pain. He falls back, arms not strong enough to hold him up. 

 

He needs help, doesn’t he? But he can’t ask, he can’t ask for help, he can’t–

 

His body spasms again. He pushes, even though he doesn’t know what he’s pushing for. It happens a few more times, his crotch feeling on fire, until something slips out of him fully, and Wei Wuxian is left staring at the dark ceiling of his room, paralyzed from pain. 

 

The world is silent. He feels himself bleeding. It’s getting all over his sheets. 

 

He… really doesn’t feel well. 

 

There's an instinctual panic as time stretches and he doesn't hear anything. 

 

Wei Wuxian may be disoriented and horrified at what is happening, but this panic is what gets him sitting up and reaching for the wet creature that has just come out of him with shaking hands. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, why he’s suddenly so confident it’s not a yoguai, or a cursed object, and why he’s so aware of the lack of signs of life. He holds it up to where the light is coming in through the window of his room in slivers. 

 

It’s… It’s a baby. 

 

Its little body is discernible in the moonlight.

 

Wei Wuxian almost drops him. It’s a he, that much is very clear. He’s very slippery. Wei Wuxian realizes it’s because he’s covered in fluids and blood. 

 

Did he just…

 

Did he just have a baby?

 

“No,” he whispers hoarsely. “No, no, no. ”

 

How did he miss a fucking baby inside of his body?

 

How was there a baby inside of his fucking body!?

 

Wei Wuxian is trembling all over. He feels cold. It might have something to do with the copious amount of blood currently gushing out of him. 

 

The baby. It's not–it's not making sound. 

 

Wei Wuxian holds his breath, something cold gripping his insides suddenly. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt before. There is adrenaline pumping in his veins; he can feel his heartbeat in his ears.

 

When Wei Wuxian finally brings the blooding thing to his chest, its eyes are open. It's not crying, but his hands are waving, there's some subtle movement, and the child is staring up at him with wide, golden eyes. 

 

The relief that takes over Wei Wuxian's body almost has him unconscious. 

 

“Oh,” he breathes in a broken little croak. There's blood in his sheets, his hands, probably smeared on his face somehow, as is the nature of blood, but his eyes are stuck on the little thing in his arms. 

 

“Hi,” he says in a tiny voice. 

 

The baby doesn’t respond, just keeps staring. Its eyes are so small. So are its little finger nails. 

 

Wei Wuxian is going to throw up. 

 

“You came out of me,” he says unsteadily. He’s woozy. Very, very woozy. 

 

The baby just scrunches its little eyebrows. They frame his golden eyes beautifully. 

 

Wait. 

 

It takes him a moment. He’s just… he’s just given birth? He’s just given birth !

 

His brain takes a while to catch up to the situation, but when it does, it realizes pretty quickly that a baby has two parents, and for Wei Wuxian, the only person he’s ever… the only person…

 

Fuck. 

 

“You're Lan Zhan’s,” Wei Wuxian says, now in terror. 

 

Lan Zhan was going to kill him. The Lans were going to kill him.

 

That one time with Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian had been the… receiving partner. It had only happened once because they had just been so busy afterwards, but he wouldn’t have minded… no, that’s not the point, they still…

 

“What the fuck,” Wei Wuxian says, staring into the distance. 

 

The baby burbles. Then he coos.

 

Wei Wuxian feels something terrifyingly protective take over every fiber of his existence. It leaves him even more disoriented. What is happening!?

 

How was… How was Wei Wuxian supposed to know this could happen? He's been a man his whole life! He's never heard of a man giving birth before! But if the baby was Lan Zhan’s…

 

This will undoubtedly ruin him. Both of them, but mostly.... It may have been with a man, but Lan Zhan had still had a baby out of wedlock. Wei Wuxian tries to calm his breathing, but can't. This is bad. This is really bad.

 

What–what is he going to say to Madame Yu?

 

She was going to kick him out. She would finally have the perfect excuse. 

 

His spiraling is halted by his baby's yawn, then subsequent face scrunch. Afraid he's going to start crying, Wei Wuxian scrambles. He feels his chest. Now that he thought about it, it definitely felt fuller than before. He hadn't been paying attention… but women, to feed their babies, they…

 

He offers a nipple to his new son, and he latches happily, face smoothing out. It figured he was quiet, since he was Lan Zhan's son, too. Lan Zhan would be so proud…

 

Who was he kidding? Lan Zhan's life would be over. He would probably want nothing to do with their baby. 

 

Their… baby. Wei Wuxian has a…

 

Wei Wuxian has a baby with Lan Wangji. And Lan Wangji would probably despise him.

 

Wei Wuxian has been through a lot in the past few hours, but this is what finally breaks open the gates. 

 

He quietly begins to weep.

 

—

 

Wei Wuxian doesn't sleep a wink after the birth. 

 

He's exhausted, yes, but his body refuses to shut itself down. It's a combination of things. 

 

What if the baby rolls off the bed while he's asleep? What if Wei Wuxian rolls on top of him, and he dies? What if someone comes to steal him at night? Just because the living don't know he exists doesn't mean the dead don't. He hasn't warded his rooms against all the different types of baby stealing spirits and he can't right now, he just had a fucking baby!

 

Lan Zhan may not want him, but Wei Wuxian could never let a child of Lan Wangji's die. 

 

By the time morning comes, Wei Wuxian has lost track of time so thoroughly that he forgets he's in charge of disciple training today. 

 

A-Yuan, as Wei Wuxian has taken to calling him, is a quiet, easy baby. Wei Wuxian knows he is hungry by the scrunched face he makes, knows to change his diaper when he starts to fuss and coo, but never cries. (Wei Wuxian had fashioned some out of some old robes in the back of his closet. Getting up had been horrific, but he'd done it.) The baby is content to lie on Wei Wuxian's chest after eating, and he lets him, too scared he will get upset enough to finally reveal his existence to the rest of his sect. 

 

And then there is a knock on his door. 

 

“A-Xian? Are you in there?”

 

Wei Wuxian freezes up in terror. It's Shijie. 

 

“Wei Wuxian! Open the door! You're late, you idiot!” 

 

And Jiang Cheng.

 

A louder series of knocks ring out. Wei Wuxian is almost nauseous with the panic flowing through him, desperately rocking A-Yuan so he doesn't get scared enough to cry at the noise. 

 

A-Yuan just continues to sleep on his chest. 

 

“I…” he says quietly. He clears his throat. “Sorry, I'll be right o-out!”

 

There's a short silence on the other side of the door. Murmuring. Then Shijie speaks again, gently and softly.

 

“A-Xian, can I come in?”

 

“No!” Bursts out of Wei Wuxian's throat. He flinches. “I mean, no, I'm fine, just give me ten minutes and I'll–”

 

“Wei Wuxian, you're acting weird! Open this door now! I always know when you're up to something. We don't have time for this today!”

 

Wei Wuxian holds his baby's head a bit tighter to his chest. A-Yuan’s body is so small. If they find out, they will take him away, and who will nurse him and change his diapers? Tears have started welling in Wei Wuxian's eyes. 

 

“I can't,” he finally says, voice tight. “I can't open the door. I'm sorry. I-I don't think I can lead training today either, maybe y-you do it, Jiang Cheng–”

 

He cuts himself off, voice thick. This is the end of the line. He's been caught. 

 

This time, the silence is loud. There is no banging on the door, nothing. Wei Wuxian holds his breath, hopeful.

 

Then he heard an alarming crunch, and the door swung open with a kick. 

 

Wei Wuxian scrambles backwards. Jiang Cheng storms into the room, Shijie behind him. 

 

“You love training the–” Jiang Cheng is saying, because of course, he knows Wei Wuxian, he knows Wei Wuxian would never pass on the job of training their shidi’s–

 

Then they catch sight of the blood everywhere, and Shijie screams. Jiang Cheng, to his credit, only blanches, mouth hanging open. 

 

They haven't seen A-Yuan yet. He's hidden by a fluffy peak of the blanket currently on Wei Wuxian's legs and torso. 

 

“Wei Ying!” Shijie says, and begins to rush over, only stopping because of Wei Wuxian's terrified lean back. 

 

“What the absolute fuck is this!?”

 

“I can explain,” Wei Wuxian says desperately. 

 

“Get up! Where are you bleeding!? Shijie, get a healer–”

 

“No!” Wei Wuxian screams again, this time shrilly. “No, no, you can't bring anyone, please, don't–”

 

“You're covered in blood! This room smells like blood, Wei Wuxian!”

 

“It's fine, it's not–it's not a big deal, I'll be fine, I just need the day off, please–”

 

“You need medical fucking attention!”

 

Shijie is pale and quiet, but she's clearly thinking, the cogs turning in her mind. She looks at Wei Wuxian, then at Jiang Cheng, then at Wei Wuxian, then at Jiang Cheng again…

 

A realization seems to dawn on her, according to the now blank expression on her face. She's looking at Wei Wuxian. Her eyes lower, slowly, to the blanket, then to Wei Wuxian’s arms, currently cradling and covering A-Yuan. 

 

“A-Xian,” she says slowly. Jiang Cheng stops yelling to let her speak, face swirling around to look at her. 

 

Wei Wuxian is silent. Tears have begun to roll down his face. He grips A-Yuan slightly tighter. 

 

“What's in your arms?” She says slowly, clearly, like she's talking to a spooked horse. 

 

Jiang Cheng looks hopelessly confused. 

 

Wei Wuxian's chin wobbles when he finally speaks. 

 

“Please don't do this,” he says, now truly crying. “I didn't know, I didn't do it on purpose, please, I didn't–they’re going to take him away from me–”

 

Shijie seems to stagger where she stands, eyes closing in pain. 

 

“Oh, A-Xian, oh, no–yesterday night, why didn't you call for help!?”

 

“What are you two talking about!?” Jiang Cheng roars, but Jiang Yanli ignores him, rushing up to Wei Wuxian's bedside. 

 

“Shijie, please–” he begs. 

 

“I need to see him,” she says sternly, voice scratchy. “A-Ying, right now I don't even know if he's alive or not.”

 

“He is!” Wei Wuxian yells. “He is, he's–”

 

“Don't yell at–” Jiang Cheng begins, but Jiang Yanli shushes him. 

 

“A-Xian, please let your Shijie see him. I just want to see him, that's all,” she pleads, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder. 

 

Wei Wuxian can't deny her any longer. He's not strong enough to. 

 

He trembles, eyes looking down, and he slowly shifts the blanket and dislodges A-Yuan from his perch on his chest. 

 

There is a long, terrifying silence. 

 

Wei Wuxian peeks a glance upwards at Jiang Yanli’s face. She's covered her mouth, and her eyes are wide. 

 

“I–” Wei Wuxian starts, breathing shallow. “It was an accident, I didn't mean to–”

 

Something seems to come over Jiang Yanli. She goes to his closet and begins to take out robes and extra blankets, moving in a fast flurry. 

 

Wei Wuxian looks at Jiang Cheng. He's staring at the baby in Wei Wuxian's arms like the world has ended. Like the sun has exploded or the moon has disappeared. He seems shocked. 

 

“Why is there a baby in your arms?” he finally says faintly. 

 

Wei Wuxian is silent. Jiang Yanli comes back over with another old robe and a clean blanket. 

 

“We need to swaddle him for warmth. Here, set him down, like this, yes–”

 

Wei Wuxian refuses to let Jiang Yanli hold the baby, so she instructs him on wrapping A-Yuan patiently, all the while she wraps the clean blanket around him.

 

“Jiang Cheng, go get a healer–”

 

“No–” Wei Wuxian breathes, terrified. 

 

“You're bleeding! A-Xian, women bleed for weeks after giving birth! I don't know if you've passed the placenta, something could be wrong, and we need to get you–

 

“Wait a fucking minute!” Jiang Cheng finally roars. “Wei Wuxian, why is there a baby in your room, why are you covered in blood, why the fuck do you look like you just gave birth to a fucking infant during the night!?”

 

Wei Wuxian hiccups. He trembles. He looks at both of them and says, whispering–

 

“... I really didn't mean to.”

 

The realization finally comes down on Jiang Cheng’s head, and he steps back. 

 

“Oh my god,” he says. “You gave birth to a baby last night.”

 

A short silence. 

 

“Oh my God.”

 

“He needs a doctor,” Shijie says firmly. “Now.”

 

“Are you insane!?” Jiang Cheng says, snapping at her for the first time Wei Wuxian has ever witnessed. “The doctors will tell our parents!”

 

“He needs rest!” Shijie snaps back, finally at her limit. “Rest and food and clean fucking sheets!”

 

Wei Wuxian looks at her with wide eyes. She's never sworn before. Ever. 

 

Then they hear footsteps and crackling, and Wei Wuxian begins to scramble to get up and run away, because his worst nightmare is coming true. Madame Yu is walking in the hallways nearby. She’s here for his baby. She’s going to kill him and his baby. 

 

“Don’t move!” Shijie says, just as panicked. 

 

“What is going on in there!?” Madame Yu yells as she approaches. “Not even my children are worthy of getting up for, Wei Wuxian!?”

 

She reaches the doorway of his room, but doesn’t get to see much, because Jiang Cheng, being the closest, slams the door in her face.

 

Wei Wuxian and Shijie stare at him in shock. 

 

He’s pale, looking at his hands in surprise. 

 

“Oh,” he breathes. “We’re so fucked.”

 

The door explodes into splinters. Madame Yu looks furious, absolutely incensed. Wei Wuxian reaches for his sword, but it’s too far away, and his limbs won't work; he’s too tired, it hurts so much–

 

Madame Yu stops, though, when she finally registers the smell of blood; the red stains on his bed.

 

“What–” she starts, seething, and then zeroes in on the baby in Wei Wuxian’s arms.

 

The world is frozen. Wei Wuxian can’t breathe. 

 

A-Yuan has been fussing here and there, but nothing that’s necessarily loud. Here, though, seems to be the final limit for his baby. 

 

A-Yuan takes a breath–a large inhale–and begins to wail.

Chapter 2: Proceedings

Summary:

Madame Yu reacts. Maybe not how you'd expect?

The Jiang siblings make some new, unfortunate, but in hindsight obvious realizations about their adopted brother.

Wei Wuxian is hormonal. Enough said.

Notes:

It's ya boy, back again with the wwx mpreg but with Feelings™.

Get ready for the family dramaaaaa

Also y'all sorry Lan Zhan will show up and it will be awesome and dramatic just give him a second.

Madame Yu's characterization might be off but ehhhh MY WORLD NOW HAHAHAHA

Madame Yu is furious, but doesn't move from the doorway. 

 

“What is this?” she demands lowly. 

 

“Mother–” Shijie starts, but seems to get stuck. There is no explaining this away. 

 

Wei Wuxian has to keep this baby. He has to. He will leave the sect if he must. 

 

He throws his pride to the deepest depths of hell. 

 

“I’m sorry!” he cries. “Madame Yu, I’m so sorry, please don’t take him away, please, I’ll leave, I won’t shame the sect, I–”

 

“Shut up!” She snaps. “Is that a baby? Are my eyes broken, or is that a baby?”

 

She’s less loud than Wei Wuxian would have expected, but he still tries to bow anyway. It sends shocks of pain through him. 

 

“I didn’t know, I promise, I didn’t–”

 

“Shut up!” Madame Yu seems to almost… flounder, for a bit. Then she turns to her children. 

 

“Explain,” she tells them sternly, harshly.

 

“We just found him like this,” Jiang Cheng says, dazed. “Mother, he needs medical attention, he… he says he gave birth during the night.”

 

“We don’t know when exactly,” Shijie says. “Mother, it’s not his fault–”

 

“Enough!” She stops them with a dramatic swipe of her hand. The Jiang siblings go silent. 

 

Madame Yu looks back at Wei Wuxian, who is desperately rocking his baby and hasn’t taken his eyes off of her. 

 

“Let me see it,” she announces.

 

“I–please don’t–”

 

“Wei Wuxian,” she says through gritted teeth, and she begins approaching slowly, as if getting closer to a wounded animal. “Let. Me see. The Child.”

 

Wei Wuxian shows her A-Yuan hesitantly, then pulls back after a few seconds. 

 

“Let me hold it,” she orders. 

 

“I–” Wei Wuxian’s says, eyes wide in terror. 

 

“Wei Wuxian,” she says softly, the softest she’s ever sounded. She sits down on his blood-soaked bed. Slowly, she offers her arms. “Let me see the child.”

 

Wei Wuxian stares for a second, then slowly lowers his crying baby into her arms. He’s swaddled nicely, if a bit sloppily, from Wei Wuxian’s inexperienced attempt. 

 

She looks at A-Yuan’s crying face. His little face is scrunched, still pink and blotchy. Wei Wuxian had cut the umbilical cord already, so A-Yuan was free to be taken from him–Madame Yu could snatch him away forever, and Wei Wuxian would never see him again, would search the earth like a hanged ghost–

 

Madame Yu closes her eyes tightly, something coming over her face. It looks like pain. 

 

“Jiang Cheng, carry him,” she orders, pointing at Wei Wuxian, then stands. “We are going to the infirmary.”

 

—

 

The healers all look deeply worried, holding pinched faces as they treat him. They dress him, get him a bleeding pad, and sponge his blood-stained face and hair. All throughout it, Wei Wuxian just stares at his baby as Madame Yu rocks him. The Jiang siblings are outside. They've perhaps even called their father already and told him what has happened. Wei Wuxian’s eyes are so dry, staring at his baby so much, but he can’t stop. 

 

Once the healers are done, Madame Yu dismisses them with a hard stare. They leave wordlessly. 

 

“... You gave birth in the night,” she begins haltingly, “correct?”

 

Wei Wuxian nods. 

 

“I didn’t hear screaming.”

 

Wei Wuxian tries to breathe. 

 

“I didn’t scream.” He says softly. 

 

She nods, staring away from him, thinking. 

 

“This is not ideal,” she finally says, frowning. “You are unwed. You will have to take a break from your duties for at least a month, until you stop bleeding.”

 

Wei Wuxian stares at her. 

 

“You’re not–you’re not kicking me out?” he says slowly. 

 

“You’re not the first disciple to try and shame our sect by having a child out of wedlock,” Madame Yu says, huffing. 

 

Wei Wuxian just looks at Madame Yu with wide eyes. 

 

Slowly, the adrenaline in his blood begins to lessen. It leaves him incredibly dizzy and also somewhat nauseated. 

 

“I don't–” he tries, but his voice breaks halfway. “I don't understand.”

 

“What is so hard to comprehend? Did you think yourself expendable enough to throw away like a used bag of tea leaves!?” Madame Yu scolds harshly. 

 

Wei Wuxian feels his eyes water again. Her eyes widen the slightest bit. 

 

“You hate me,” he says, gripping his arms tightly. He feels cold. “I thought–I thought you would want to kill my baby.”

 

Madame Yu gains a… truly complex expression on her face. It renders down to fury. 

 

“... What?”

 

It's a dangerous hiss. Zidian crackles with intent. Wei Wuxian's fingers dig into his skin. 

 

Something must show on his face, because Madame Yu takes a moment to collect herself. She still looks deeply offended, but much less murderous. 

 

“I do not despise you, Wei Wuxian. I hate what you represent to my husband, and how he ignores his children for you. But I do not hate you.”

 

“You could have fooled me,” Wei Wuxian says, shaking. Something has taken the place of that adrenaline fueled fear. It feels like long-suppressed resentment. 

 

“Do not talk back to me,” she snaps. 

 

Wei Wuxian begins to make to get up, suddenly furious, but Madame Yu’s eyes widen and she gets up.

 

“Do not move!” She orders loudly, this time her voice filled with something less like anger and more like precaution. She snarls. 

 

“I want to make this very clear, Wei Wuxian. If you did not have such a strong core, you would not have survived giving birth last night, and you would have survived the hours after even less. You are not to move a single muscle.”

 

She makes it sound like a threat. 

 

The words still make him pause. 

 

She gives him a long, considering look.

 

“You're emotions,” she says sternly, “are fragile right now. They tend to be like this when you have just borne a child.”

 

Wei Wuxian looks away. 

 

His arms feel so empty. 

 

“I will return your child to you in a few minutes,” she continues, sitting back down. “I have some things to discuss with you first.”

 

“Can't you just give him to me now?” Wei Wuxian cries, impatient. 

 

“You don't even know how to hold him,” Madame Yu snaps. 

 

Wei Wuxian flinches. He looks back down and goes silent. 

 

She's right. 

 

Wei Wuxian is in over his head right now. What claim does he have to this child when he didn't even know it was growing inside of him just yesterday? And the idea of it, just the idea, still brings about waves of panic and revulsion. There had been an alien inside of him for months–

 

And he had drank. He'd sustained injuries. He'd been reckless in night hunts, taken strenuous trips. He'd endangered the life inside of him multiple times in his ignorance. 

 

Tears begin to roll down his face. 

 

“Stop it,” Madame Yu says coldly. 

 

“I can't!” Wei Wuxian sobs angrily. “I could have killed my baby! What if one of the disciples had accidentally stabbed me? What if a beast did on a night hunt instead!? I drank wine yesterday!”

 

“Shut up! He's perfectly fine! You stupid boy, calm down!”

 

“You won't even let me hold him!” Wei Wuxian despairs. 

 

“I won't let you hold him because after this, you will never let me hold him again!”

 

Her outburst shocks Wei Wuxian into silence. 

 

Madame Yu seems deeply embarrassed by the display of emotion she is currently engaged in, but she still tries to hold her chin up defiantly.

 

“I know what you think of me. I know how I have treated you. But like it or not, Wei Wuxian, me and my husband raised you. You will always be your mother's,”

 

She takes a breath, steadying herself. 

 

“But him?” She gestures harshly to the baby in her arms. “He is ours. Not just your mother's, but ours, too.”

 

She twists her mouth. 

 

“Of course, you just had to have a baby while still a teenager, without even a marriage contract or engagement. You stupid boy. Not every impossible feat should be attempted!”

 

Wei Wuxian just looks at her for a long time, stunned. 

 

Madame Yu sniffs, looking away. She rocks A-Yuan gently in her arms. 

 

“You cannot shame a sect if it refuses to be shamed. You will stay and you will rest, and we will negotiate a marriage contract if the other party is willing.”

 

A well of humiliation rolls over him. 

 

Still, it takes him a while to collect himself enough to speak. When he does, he's quiet, looking elsewhere. 

 

“I doubt the other party will say yes,” he says, voice tiny.

 

“We will not know unless we ask,” she says matter-of-factly. There is no warmth in her voice, but the absence of anger is the most he’s ever gotten from her. 

 

There is a short silence. 

 

“Wei Wuxian,” she says then. “Your child has opened its eyes. The color of them is very recognizable.”

 

Wei Wuxian feels like a pit has opened up under his stomach, but he barely has time to panic again. Madame Yu turns to look straight at him.

 

“The Lan that sired him, did he ask permission first?”

 

Wei Wuxian blinks. 

 

“I-what?”

 

Madame Yu sighs in disappointment, probably bemoaning his intelligence. 

 

“The sire of the child. Did he ask before both of you decided to do the act that procures offspring?”

 

Wei Wuxian blinks again. He’s trying very hard to think. The past twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind. 

 

Wait. 

 

Wait.

 

Is she… is she asking if Lan Zhan raped him?

 

“No!” he shrieks. She tenses, eyes turning dangerous. “I mean, no, he didn’t rape me, of course he asked for permission, Lan Zhan would never–”

 

He puts his hands over his mouth. Fuck!

 

Her eyes turn calculating. 

 

“Lan Wangji?” she says, as if tasting the syllables on her tongue. 

 

She tilts her head in calculated thought. 

 

“A Twin Jade,” she says, humming. 

 

“No, wait–”

 

She looks right at him. Wei Wuxian is stopped dead by the reluctant approval he sees in her face.

 

“You could have done worse,” she says. 

 

Wei Wuxian is left completely and utterly speechless. 

 

“It is decided,” she continues with a tone of finality. “I will send a message to the Cloud Recess to get the negotiations started. You will stay here and rest. The Lans will not meet the child until the marriage contract is sealed.”

 

“No!” Wei Wuxian cries. 

 

Madame Yu just looks at him expectantly, deadpan.

 

“You don’t have to–Lan Zhan, he, he’s peerless, his reputation–”

 

“His reputation!?” she rages suddenly. “And what of your reputation!? Your worth to the sect!? He has shamed you by giving you this child and not even checking up on you after the fact!”

 

What is happening!? Madame Yu is claiming his bastard child!? She's worried about his reputation!? Did Wei Wuxian hit his head last night?!

 

It would explain the baby, too, but a part of him, a big part, recoils at the idea of this not being real. He looks at A-Yuan and yearns. 

 

“How was he supposed to know? I’m a guy! Guys don’t have babies!” he finally gets out.

 

Madame Yu narrows her eyes at him, observing. 

 

“Not usually, no,” she finally growls. “Rest, Wei Wuxian. If I catch you outside at any point, not paying attention to your baby and healing, I will drag you back by the hair and lock the door!”

 

She gets up, deposits A-Yuan in his lap, then with one last, long look, she leaves. 

 

Wei Wuxian cradles his baby in his arms, oh so carefully, terrified of hurting him by holding on too tightly. A-Yuan’s eyes are open, staring up at him in puzzlement. 

 

“Hi,” Wei Wuxian says hoarsely. The baby doesn’t even blink. 

 

He should put him in his bassinet (provided by the infirmary) and go to sleep. But he can’t. His body won't let him. 

 

This is exactly what he didn't want. 

 

Madame Yu would find a way to force the Lans to give up Lan Zhan's hand in marriage. This was Wei Wuxian's worst nightmare. 

 

He was terrorized by the thought of Lan Zhan coming to him on a potential wedding day, eyes cold with resentment, and taking stiff, impersonal bows, then leaving him to a home that would be lifeless and silent. He dreaded the thought of Lan Zhan looking at their child in contempt, no love in his identical eyes…

 

Except for the shape, he realizes suddenly, gaze sharpening on A-Yuan’s little features. A-Yuan has Lan Zhan’s eye color, but the shape is… is Wei Wuxian's. 

 

“I gave birth to you,” Wei Wuxian whispers. His baby gurgles. 

 

It hasn't even been five minutes, and again Wei Wuxian wants to cry. 

 

The door opens once more. He looks exhaustedly up and watches as the Jiang siblings file in. Jiang Cheng stops at the door, but Shijie comes over and sits beside him. She coaxes him into a hug.

 

“Oh, A-Xian.”

 

After a moment, Jiang Cheng comes to sit at his other side. He carefully places a hand on Wei Wuxian's covered leg. 

 

Wei Wuxian just lets his head drop onto Shijie’s shoulder. They all say nothing for a long moment. 

 

Finally, Jiang Cheng finds it in himself to break the silence.

 

“You’re a fucking idot,” he growls. “Braindead. There is nothing in your skull.”

 

“A-Cheng, be nice,” Shijie says sternly, sounding slightly exasperated. She caresses Wei Wuxian’s hair. “And you. Oh, A-Xian, you should have said something.”

 

Wei Wuxian glances at them blearily. 

 

“I really didn’t know. I didn’t… I didn’t even get fat.”

 

Shijie hugs him again. She sniffles. 

 

He's so stupid, he sees it now. The bouts of exhaustion and nausea, and soreness. There was milk coming out of his chest. He was missing his dick! 

 

He clutches A-Yuan a little tighter. He tries to soothe himself with the sounds of his baby's breaths. A-Yuan is unusually aware, content to try and grasp Wei Wuxian's dangling hair with his little rice-grain hands. He doesn't have enough coordination to even extend his arms, so he never succeeds, but it's still a calming sight. 

 

“Who was it?” Jiang Cheng butts in suddenly. “Mom said it was a Lan. Tell me right now,” Jiang Cheng demands. 

 

Wei Wuxian blinks in surprise at the address, not used to Jiang Cheng calling Madame Yu something so casual. Then he grimaces. 

 

“It’s not important,” he says softly.

 

“Bullshit! Mom knows, why can’t we? She says she’s going to write the letter now, she’s literally on her way, she wouldn’t be doing that if she didn’t have a name to ask for!”

 

Wei Wuxian sighs. 

 

“What does it matter? He’s going to say no. It’s fine.”

 

Shijie is silent, then intertwines her hand with one of Wei Wuxian’s, careful of the baby. 

 

“His eyes are gold,” she says softly. She's looking at him with such a soft, sad look. She also looks… knowing. Wei Wuxian abruptly remembers all the letters he'd written her while in the Guest Lectures, remembers pages upon pages of describing Lan Zhan's eyes. “Wei Ying, he’s going to say yes. You know that, right?”

 

Jiang Cheng chokes. 

 

“Lan Wangji!? You did it with Lan Wangji!? You’re pulling my leg, out of all the Lans, it just had to be–”

 

“Don’t insult Lan Zhan! And of course it was him, he’s the most handsome Lan in that whole mountain and the most handsome person in the world! That still doesn’t mean he’s going to want to marry me! And even if he does, it’ll be to save him and me from a tarnished reputation, and that’s even w-worse!”

 

Shijie looks sad. Jiang Cheng looks furious. 

 

“See if he dares, he’ll lose his fucking limbs!”

 

“Jiang Cheng,” Shijie snaps. “A-Xian is fragile. He needs rest.”

 

“I can’t sleep,” Wei Wuxian admits quietly: embarrassed, ashamed, filled with a cocktail of emotions. “I can’t leave him alone. What if something happens to him?”

 

It's terrifying how much he already cares for this baby, his every waking thought being about his well-being. A-Yuan has barely existed for a day, but Wei Wuxian has been taken over by a ferocious love for this creature, and with it, that love brings indescribable terror. He's scared. The world is suddenly much more dangerous, darkness peeking around at every corner.

 

Shijie nods in understanding.

 

“We can stay, A-Xian. Just give him to me and settle in.”

 

Wei Wuxian slowly deposits A-Yuan into her arms. He frowns, upset at being separated from his father. 

 

“Don’t be like that,” he tells the baby softly, after his face starts to scrunch dangerously. “This is your aunt. She’ll take care of you. I–B-baba needs to sleep, okay?”

 

When he looks up at Shijie, she’s smiling, teary. 

 

“Do you have a name yet?” she asks softly. 

 

“Call him A-Yuan,” he says sleepily, body already slowing down. He’s exhausted. He lies down carefully, body unbearably sore. 

 

“What a good name,” Shijie says to him, and then Wei Wuxian is officially asleep.

 

—

 

He wakes up to Shijie desperately trying to calm the sobbing baby in her arms. 

 

“Why is he crying!?” Jiang Cheng is hissing, voice tinged with an edge of panic. 

 

“Maybe he's hungry?” Shijie says desperately. 

 

Wei Wuxian takes that as his cue to get up. 

 

His siblings both gasp as he begins to shift, Jiang Cheng rushing to his side to help him up. He groans as he shuffles, lower body on fire. 

 

“Be careful, be careful,” Jiang Cheng is saying, fully focused on supporting Wei Wuxian as he gets himself settled. 

 

Wei Wuxian takes in the room with slitted eyes. The sunlight is deep orange from where it's pooling into the room from the window behind the bed. There are some discarded diapers in the bin next to the door, and some small bottles of milk on a table. Shijie’s arms are full of blankets. 

 

Wei Wuxian tries to calm his racing heart. A-Yuan’s cries really unlocked something primal in him. 

 

“What happened?” He says, heart starting to race. “Why is he crying?”

 

He still sounds groggy, but his distress must be leaking out, because Shijie comes to his bedside with a strained, but still reassuring smile and shows him his baby's scrunched, soppy face. 

 

“He's fine, A-Xian. Maybe he's just tired?”

 

Wei Wuxian extends his arms, and Jiang Yanli carefully deposits the infant into them. 

 

Wei Wuxian begins to rock him, shushing him tiredly. 

 

“Shhh, baobei…” he says hoarsely. 

 

A-Yuan opens his eyes at the sound of his voice, but doesn't stop crying. Wei Wuxian sighs and opens his robes. He hears Jiang Cheng choke as A-Yuan latches on and begins to suckle, finally calm. 

 

“Oh!” Jiang Yanli says, watching with a shocked expression. 

 

“Yeah,” Wei Wuxian says tiredly. “It's probably how I was able to keep him quiet all night.”

 

“Wei Wuxian! Don't do that in front of–you–”

 

As Jiang Cheng sputters, Shijie gives her own sigh and comes to sit at his bedside.

 

She watches him for a long moment. While she does, Wei Wuxian stares off into space. 

 

Little by little, he begins to wake up fully. His eyes finally clear after a few minutes, and he looks down again, as if just having realized there is a baby currently sucking on breasts he's not supposed to have. 

 

His eyes get very wide. 

 

“I have a baby,” he says after a long, drawn-out silence. 

 

Jiang Cheng scoffs. 

 

“You cannot be serious right now.”

 

“How did this happen!?” Wei Wuxian exclaims, frazzled. “I–was I cursed? How did–”

 

Shijie smiles slightly. 

 

“When two people love each other very much–”

 

“Jiejie!” Jiang Cheng whines, still not looking in their direction. 

 

“I have boobs,” Wei Wuxian groans, “why do I have boobs? Shijie, why do I have boobs?”

 

“STOP CALLING THEM–”

 

“A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli says softly. “Here. Mother came and left this for you to read.”

 

She strokes his hair, then hands him a book. It's not very thick. On the cover, it says: The Complete Guide to Cultivator Ziji Relationships. 

 

He holds it with one hand, the other holding A-Yuan steady as he continues to eat his fill. Wei Wuxian blinks. 

 

“You're making me read now?” Wei Wuxian complains. It doesn't have his characteristic cheer. 

 

“A-Xian,” Shijie coaxes. 

 

“Fine,” he grumbles wearily. 

 

There's a section bookmarked already, probably by Madame Yu. The pages are not worn, but they do seem old. This is probably a tome they got from the back of the library, or something similar. 

 

“Did Madame Yu find this?”

 

Shijie shrugs her shoulders. Wei Wuxian hums and reads the note that's been left through the pages. 

 

This is the only record of male pregnancy in the Jiang library. I have contacted the Lans to see if they have any others.

 

The handwriting is crisp and clear. Wei Wuxian realizes it is definitely Madame Yu’s.

 

Well then. He would unpack how he felt over her doing research on behalf of his “ailments” later. 

 

He begins to read the page.

 

‘...found that there had been three separate cases of male pregnancy in the cultivation world, spanning a century and a half. An interview with these couples–all composed of two males–revealed they males–revealed they maintained powerful, well-developed cores and a strong relationship bond. One, however, had their pregnancy while still in the early days of their arranged marriage, so it's possible that an extensive bond is not required for this rare event. Further analysis of the cores found all three were, in fact, Ziji.

 

In the process of compiling this information, I was also able to find a fourth couple. They were reclusive and had been together over three centuries, and their cores were close to immortality. They had borne three children, and the health of their offspring was unparalleled in comparison to their peers.

 

‘I found, once again, that they were Ziji.

 

Further information is needed to confirm this hypothesis, but as it stands, the only recorded cases of male pregnancy have been between Ziji. Further study is needed to potentially find female couples and see if the conditions of pregnancy can be replicated in them without an insemination partner. This builds a strong case for male-to-male relationship acceptance, as there are clear cases of them being capable of being Ziji, and also, as we now know, having biological children. I submit this to the five great sects for general record keeping, as this one finds this research incredibly important for future…’

 

Wei Wuxian doesn't know what his face is doing right now. It probably looks bad. Shijie and Jiang Cheng both look incredibly uncertain. 

 

“A-Xian?” Shijie coaxes gently.

 

“Hmm?” Wei Wuxian responds absently. 

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Wei Wuxian blinks. His eyes burn. 

 

He throws the book down on his lap. 

 

A-Yuan has finished feeding and is now sleepy. Wei Wuxian carefully pulls him up to sleep on his bare chest. It feels right, even though he still has no idea what he's doing. 

 

“I'm fine.”

 

“Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng says in warning. He's looking at his adopted brother carefully, almost wearily. 

 

“The book,” Wei Wuxian starts, face pinched, “is wrong.”

 

The Jiang siblings look at each other in confusion. 

 

“Well,” Shijie says. “What does it say?”

 

“It says that me and Lan Zhan are Ziji.”

 

Their faces turn shocked, eyes widening. 

 

Wei Wuxian shakes his head, running a free hand down his face as he exhales carefully. 

 

“It says only Ziji can have children like… this.”

 

He gestures to himself with a grimace. 

 

“But it's wrong. Tell your mother thank you, but I think I'll have to do some independent research later.”

 

“Wait,” Jiang Cheng says, frowning. “Why is it wrong?”

 

“Because there's no way I'm Lan Zhan's Ziji. So it's wrong, and it's probably a curse of some kind.”

 

Wei Wuxian glances down at his son. It was a curse he wasn't too interested in reversing. A-Yuan felt solid and real in his arms–that was enough for him.

 

“What?” Jiang Cheng says incredulously. 

 

“A-Ying,” Shijie says sternly. 

 

“I'm not going to argue about this,” Wei Wuxian says curtly. “Lan Zhan… the universe wouldn't give him a Ziji like me. They wouldn't torture him like that. So the book has to be wrong.”

 

“Torture–” Jiang Cheng is getting more worked up by the second. 

 

Wei Wuxian tries for a reassuring smile to calm the tension. 

 

“It's alright. I know he won't accept the marriage contract, either. I can figure it out on my own–raising a baby alone can't be too hard, can it?”

 

“Wei Ying,” Shijie says, now sounding upset. Her eyebrows are furrowed.

 

Wei Wuxian looks away. 

 

He can't do this.

 

They can't do this to him. They can't give him false hope that Lan Zhan is going to be any bit happy to hear he has a son. There's been no preparation, no expectation…

 

That one time in Cloud Recesses was just… it doesn't matter that Lan Zhan kissed him, at the end, or that he let him stay in the Jingshi and sleep beside him. It doesn't matter that he looked disappointed when Wei Wuxian had to scramble out in the morning, late for early punishment. 

 

That… it doesn't mean anything, in the long run. It doesn't matter that Lan Zhan had said goodbye at the gates, when Wei Wuxian had gotten himself kicked out only two months later. 

 

Wei Wuxian had only held hope he would come visit a few times, that he could catch a last glimpse of his face, his long, glossy hair, before he was eventually betrothed to a nice, demure Lan woman. He would have been happy for him, and then he…

 

Wei Wuxian blinks. He looks at A-Yuan. 

 

They'd. They'd just been friends. Right?

 

That's… sometimes friends slept together…? Right?

 

Wait.

 

… Wait. 

 

“Wei Ying,” Shijie is saying. She might have been saying it for a while. “Earth to Wei Ying, earth to Wei Ying.”

 

He snaps his gaze up. 

 

He looks at both of them. Jiang Cheng looks agitated. Shijie looks unbearably concerned. 

 

“How about you get some rest, A-Xian? Jiang Cheng can stay with the baby while I go get you some soup?”

 

“I'm in love with Lan Zhan,” blurts out of his mouth. He immediately pales. That is not what he meant to say. 

 

The Jiang siblings blink. 

 

“You. Cannot be fucking serious.”

 

Jiang Cheng begins to pace. Shijie looks a little bit like she just bit into a lemon. 

 

“A-Xian… did you just realize that now?”

 

“How was I supposed to know!? I've never been in love before!”

 

Jiang Cheng lets out a short, rageful sound. He sounds done. 

 

“... You have a baby,” Shijie says slowly.

 

Wei Wuxian looks at A-Yuan, then back at Shijie. He nods. 

 

“And you… Did the act that produces a baby. Eight months ago.”

 

Wei Wuxian nods. 

 

“It was awesome,” he says absentmindedly. “We cuddled after.”

 

“YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS,” Jiang Cheng’s pacing gains speed. “YOU CANNOT BE FUCKING SERIOUS.”

 

“A-Ying…” Shijie starts with an edge of exasperation. “You cuddled after. Okay. What else?”

 

Wei Wuxian blinks. 

 

“Lan Zhan kissed me.”

 

Jiang Cheng buries his face in his hands. There's a muffled scream. 

 

“Okay,” Shijie says with a smile closer to a grimace. “What else?”

 

Wei Wuxian tilts his head in thought. 

 

“He let me sleep in his bed afterwards.”

 

It'd been a nice bed. Very comfortable. He'd buried his face into Lan Zhan's muscled chest, and Lan Zhan had curled his arms around Wei Wuxian's body. It'd been heavenly. Lan Zhan hadn't even complained about the drool he'd left on him all night. 

 

“I need water,” Jiang Cheng says, and begins to make toward the exit. Shijie flings a wayward chopstick, and it buries itself into the wall right next to Jiang Cheng’s retreating figure. He stops. 

 

“Okay. Okay. And you only realized… now. That you're in love with him.”

 

Wei Wuxian nods miserably. 

 

Shijie massages her temples. 

 

“And you can't be Ziji because…?”

 

Wei Wuxian looks balefully up at her. 

 

“Because he doesn't love me back.”

 

Tears sting at the corners of his eyes. Shijie stares at him for a long, long moment. She continues to stare at him while she goes to pour some water into a bowl and hands it over.

 

“Drink,” she says, clipped. Wei Wuxian takes the bowl and drinks the water to the last drop. All this crying has probably left him dehydrated. 

 

Shijie refills the bowl without, again, taking her eyes off him. She hands it back. 

 

While Wei Wuxian is drinking the water, she sits down on the bed. There's an expression on her face he's never seen before. 

 

Finally, once he's finished his water, she says, very carefully. 

 

“A-Xian. You know… that I love you. Very much. Right?”

 

Wei Wuxian nods. He feels a little lost. 

 

“And Jiang Cheng, too. He loves you very much.”

 

Wei Wuxian turns to Jiang Cheng, waiting for a denial, a reaction, anything. Jiang Cheng looks like he's turning purple, but he doesn't deny it. Just stares with beady eyes at Wei Wuxian, and at the baby sleeping on his chest. 

 

“... Yeah?”

 

“Is that a question? I want a yes or no. Wei Wuxian, do you know that I, your shijie, and Jiang Cheng, your shidi, love you very, very much?”

 

Wei Wuxian needs to say yes. It's the right answer. 

 

He can't. 

 

The words are stuck in his throat. He can't say something with confidence when he doesn't believe it to be true. 

 

Shijie closes her eyes as the silence stretches on. When she opens them, they're watery. 

 

“I… I'm going to make something for us to eat. Jiang Cheng, stay here and tend to Wei Wuxian. I'll be back in two hours.”

 

She gets up, and in a flurry of robes and hair, she's left the room, footsteps careful and measured.

 

Jiang Cheng watches her go. Wei Wuxian can't see his expression. 

 

When he finally turns back to Wei Wuxian, he looks strange. He looks… upset. Very upset. Not the usual, angry kind, though. There are traces of it, but it's not like before. 

 

“Sit still,” he says curtly. He goes to stand behind Wei Wuxian. “I'll do your hair.”

 

Wei Wuxian is so unbearably confused. 

 

He feels a brush start to go through his messy strands a few moments later, and he lets himself deflate. 

 

“I love you guys. I do,” He says softly. A-Yuan is a comforting presence on his skin, but it doesn't negate the feeling of having messed up somewhere. Having done something wrong. 

 

“We know,” Jiang Cheng says tightly. “That's not the problem.”

 

He doesn't speak anymore, just continues to brush Wei Wuxian’s hair.

 

Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and thinks of Lan Zhan. 

Notes:

Yeah so uh

Next chapter will be posted soon pinky promise 😏

PLS TELL ME WHAT U THINKKKK FAVORITE SCENES, IF I'M ACTUALLY FUNNY OR NOT, ETC. I LIVE FOR THE COMMENTS!!!

Chapter 3: A Sisters Woe

Summary:

Jiang Yanli makes her grievences known to her parents. It's long overdue.

Then she has a talk with her brothers.

Notes:

Let's goooooo

Thank you guys sm for the comments 😭😭 love them all I will wat them I will devour rahhh

Jiang Yanli is based heavily in this fic off of my experience trying to bridge the gap between favoritism from a parents towards you ger siblings. It's real, y'all. I feel for our girl.

Also, btw. Wei Wuxian is absolutely extremely positively anemic. Just to let y'all know 😂

Mother finds her in the kitchen often, ready to scold her for doing servant work, but this time, it's Father who peers into the bustling area to find his daughter aggressively chopping a knot of ginger. 

 

Jiang Yanli has already carefully peeled the outside. She's able to do this quickly and efficiently, having done it so many times before. 

 

Jiang Fengmian isn't as stringent as his wife, but he's also never approved of Yanli’s kitchen habits, either. His reprimands have always been gentle, but firm, too.

 

Yanli has no patience for them today. 

 

When Jiang Fengmian comes into the kitchen to talk to her, he looks worn and a little ragged. Mother must have informed him of the situation already. He looks pensive, stoic. 

 

Today, he doesn't say anything about the water on the stove or the other ingredients waiting to be chopped by Yanli's hand: her long-standing labor of love for her brothers. He just lingers for a while, watching as she finishes the ginger and moves on to the strings of chilli off to the side.

 

Finally, he deigns to open his mouth. What comes out is an expected response. 

 

“Is that for A-Ying?”

 

Her blood boils. She says nothing of it, just nods curtly. What does it matter that it's for both of her brothers? What does it matter that Jiang Fengmian calls A-Xian a nickname and not Jiang Cheng? Her place is here, in the kitchen, where she can boil water like her own blood does all the time, and simmer broth like her own resentment simmers in her heart, and watch liquid roil in the heat like her own envy roils when Jiang Fengmian takes A-Xian to parades, and trips, and praises him like he’s hung the moon, and then turns and lets his gaze pass over her and A-Cheng like they’re nothing. 

 

(And it’s not A-Xian’s fault, because even if he was happy to go, even if he did not wear this scared, muted look of agreement whenever Jiang Fengmian offered these things, even if A-Xian took full advantage and pleasure of the Jiangs’ father’s attention, it still would not be A-Xian’s fault. Jiang Yanli knows who to blame. She is intelligent enough to know who to blame.)

 

“Good. That’s good.” Jiang Fengmian says, unaware of the conflict rushing through his daughter's spirit. 

 

“How is he doing?” Jiang Fengmian continues. 

 

Jiang Yanli pushes her emotions to the side to answer. 

 

“He's well. The risk has passed, and his body is not siphoning energy from his core anymore.” 

 

A shadow passes over Jiang Fengmian’s face. 

 

“Your mother… implied that it had been great during the night.”

 

It had been. 

 

Jiang Yanli was expected to bear children one day. She was made very aware of the risks at an early age. In this, her mother had not failed her. 

 

It was a miracle A-Xian had not bled to death. 

 

The servants were still not done cleaning his room, and they continued to come out with harrowed expressions. It had been a lot of blood. So much blood. And if A-Xian had passed, there was no guarantee his child would have cried in hunger. He could have starved to death. Their corpses would have been found in the morning by her and A-Cheng.

 

She would have found her beloved A-Xian dead, and her newborn nephew alongside him. 

 

“It was,” is all Jiang Yanli says with a nod. 

 

“I see,” her father says, a bit pale. 

 

They say nothing for a while. Jiang Yanli’s chopping is the only sound between them. 

 

“Your mother wants to negotiate a contract. She has already sent the missive, without my permission.”

 

Yanli presses her lips tightly together. 

 

“As is her right as the Madame of the household. She is in charge of arranging our marriages." Yanli says softly.

 

Jiang Fengmian does not seem happy to be told this. 

 

“But Lan Wangji? He is a very… quiet child. I thought A-Xian would have liked someone more… lively.”

 

Jiang Yanli slices her knife down with more force than usual. She throws the chillies into the pot. 

 

“They found it within each other to copulate. Mother will make sure they treat him right.”

 

“Come now, Yanli… your mother has never… her and A-Xian have never…”

 

‘And whose fault is that?’ she wants to scream. She wants to free it from her sewn-up throat. But she doesn’t. 

 

She just brings the lotus root to her board and begins cutting it into nice, even slices. 

 

“Have never what?”

 

Yanli’s knife stills. 

 

Madame Yu has also found her way to the kitchen and is glaring at both of them with dangerous eyes. Yanli takes a deep, steadying breath. She begins to chop again. 

 

“Wife, I–” Jiang Fengmian starts, but Madame Yu cuts him off. 

 

“Because it sounds to me like you are implying I should not be in charge of our own household’s betrothals, which could not possibly be true, because it is all but traditional for the lady of the house to do just that, is it not?”

 

Jiang Fengmian’s eyes sharpen.

 

“But is it also not traditional for the husband's opinion to be consulted in the matter? I was under the impression it was.”

 

Madame Yu begins to approach like a predator stalking prey. 

 

“Not when the one in question has already had a child and is painfully unwed. Or does my husband think otherwise?”

 

“I think in the Jiang clan, traditions are sometimes made to be broken.”

 

Yanli grips the handle of her knife ever so tightly. 

 

“And who decides that? The sect leader can do as he pleases now, can he!?” her mother snaps furiously. 

 

They have never fought in the kitchen before.

 

Yanli has taken such pains to keep the kitchen to herself. She has tried so hard to stay afloat in this family to be what others need her to be. She has tried so hard.

 

(A-Xian had probably thought he was dying when the labor had started. He’d probably been in so much pain.)

 

(He hadn’t even screamed.)

 

“They are not right for each other,” Jiang Fengmian says firmly, like he knows anything about his children. Like he knows anything about A-Xian. 

 

“The missive has been sent! They have a child! Arbitrary requirements like “being right for each other” don’t matter anymore!”

 

“My Lady, please do not yell,” Jiang Fengmian says, like it will help anything. 

 

Her mother’s face turns purple. She does what she always does when Father dismisses her like this. She turns to Yanli, who isn’t even looking at her, and yells,

 

“What are you doing here, you stupid girl!? How many times have I told you that it is servants’ work!? You are the daughter of the sect leader of the Jiang and the Violet Spider, act like it!”

 

Yanli’s hands can continue no more. They stop. 

 

There is a moment, she thinks, that she feels absolutely nothing. Her heart is still, her mind is still. Her body is still. 

 

The words echo in her head. 

 

“The daughter of the of the sect leader of the Jiang and the Violet Spider.”

 

“Act like it.”

 

“Act like it.”

 

Jiang Yanli takes the knife in her hands and stabs it clean through the wooden cutting board in front of her. It splits with a violent crack. 

 

She does not need a golden core to cut things. 

 

Her parents don’t have time to react. Yanli turns to them, eyes fierce, and tells them plainly,

 

“Get out.”

 

They look stunned. Her father looks at her like she’s possessed. 

 

“What?” he says, eyes wide. 

 

“Get out.”

 

She points to the door. 

 

The servants around them are silent. They’re all looking at her. It makes her skin crawl. 

 

“You–” Madame Yu says, mouth opening and closing. “How dare you–”

 

“How dare I!?” finally bursts out of Jiang Yanli’s mouth. “How dare you!? How dare you!? Get out!”

 

“You don’t talk to us that–”

 

Jiang Yanli shoves the vegetables on the counter onto the floor in a mess of fury and rage. 

 

Her parents go silent. 

 

She stares at the ingredients, then turns her gaze back to them. They’ve stepped backward, just a little.

 

“He didn’t even scream,” she says softly. 

 

They look lost, confused, in her mother's case, angry. She must look like a hissing kitten to them both. 

 

She doesn’t care anymore.

 

“All my life, I have been told that in labor, you scream. You must scream to help the pain. All my life, I have been told that when you give birth, a doctor is there, and your spouse holds your hand, and your family is waiting in another room, impatient to meet your baby, and that you scream when it hurts!”

 

It’s a roar that has been unlatched from the inside of her. She cannot stop. She cannot do this anymore.

 

“And you know what A-Xian did, when he felt the pain of childbirth!? Nothing! He didn’t scream, he didn’t call for help, he just cried while he gave birth to a baby he didn’t even know was coming, all because he didn't want to be an inconvenience!”

 

Her parents' eyes become that much wider.

 

Yanli marches up to them and stares at them straight in the face. 

 

“I don’t forgive you,” she hisses rabidly. “I will never forgive you. I don’t care about your marriage, I don’t care that you don’t love each other, I don’t care that Father was in love with A-Xian’s mother, and that’s why we don’t exist to him! You made my brother feel like giving birth was an inconvenience!” 

 

She takes a gulping breath. She cannot cry. She refuses to. She turns away.

 

“So get out.”

 

There's silence for a moment. Madame Yu spits, “Jiang Yanli.”

 

“Yu Ziyuan,” Yanli hisses in response, glaring.

 

There are no more words. 

 

After a moment, Yu Ziyuan walks away. 

 

“... Yanli, I…”

 

“Just get out,” Jiang Yanli tells her father.

 

After a moment, he leaves too. 

 

Yanli is left alone, surrounded by muted servants. Slowly, the kitchen begins moving again. 

 

She looks at the vegetables on the floor. Her labor of love. 

 

“I will clean it up, dear,” an older woman tells her. She looks up to see that her face is wrinkled in worry and understanding. “You just go get some new ingredients.”

 

Yanli nods. She goes to the pantry. 

 

Her hands shake the whole way there and back. 

 

—

 

Wei Wuxian wakes from dozing to find his sister entering the room with a tray and a stiff smile on her face. 

 

He startles when he doesn’t feel A-Yuan on his chest, but Jiang Cheng taps him on the shoulder and points to his baby sleeping in the bassinet next to his bed. Wei Wuxian relaxes. 

 

“Shijie?” Wei Wuxian says, sluggish. 

 

“I brought soup,” she says gently, and sets the tray down onto the table nearby. She has three bowls ready, and she opens the pot she’s brought to begin to ladle the soup. 

 

Wei Wuxian registers the smell of spices and broth. His mouth waters. 

 

Shijie gives him the first bowl. Jiang Cheng doesn’t even fight about it, taking the second with no argument. They all sit down where they can and begin to eat. 

 

The first sip of soup brings tears to Wei Wuxian’s eyes. 

 

“Is it good?” Shijie asks tiredly. 

 

“The best,” Wei Wuxian says, eating another spoonful. 

 

For a while, there’s only the clanking of their ladles against their bowls.

 

Halfway through the meal, A-Yuan wakes up and starts to fuss. Wei Wuxian groans, then puts his bowl to the side and goes to pick the baby up from his bedding. 

 

“A-Xian, wait!” Shijie startles, coming over to help, but A-Xian shakes his head. 

 

“He needs a diaper change, I think,” he says, nose picking up on the scent of a soiled one. 

 

“Then I will change him,” Shijie says sternly. 

 

“No,” Jiang Cheng cuts in. “I will. You just made soup for the three of us, and he just gave birth. All I’ve done is braid his hair like a girl.”

 

Jiang Cheng comes to take the baby, uncertainly, but determinedly, and takes him to the changing corner. A-Yuan doesn’t like being handled by what he perceives as a stranger, but the diaper change only takes five minutes. Wei Wuxian is still relieved when he calms down once Jiang Cheng reluctantly deposits him back into Wei Wuxian’s arms. 

 

Wei Wuxian stares at his baby for a minute. 

 

“He’s so cute,” Wei Wuxian says mournfully. 

 

“He is,” Shijie says with a strange, smug-looking expression. 

 

“I love him. It's terrifying.”

 

“I've heard it can be, yes,” Shijie continues. She looks seconds away from snickering. 

 

“You're making fun of me,” he pouts. 

 

Shijie finally laughs. Something dislodges in his chest when he hears the sound, relieved. So she's not too mad at him. 

 

“I'm sorry, I just–I did not expect you to be the first of us three to experience this. It's a little bit funny.”

 

Wei Wuxian makes a face. 

 

“I didn't even know this was possible; it's not my fault.”

 

“It is your fault for being a slut,” Jiang Cheng says, deadpan. He's back to eating his soup, but he gives Wei Wuxian a pointed side eye.

 

“A-Cheng!” Shijie says, incredulous. 

 

“I'm just saying,” Jiang Cheng grumbles. “If he'd kept his legs closed–”

 

“You look at Lan Zhan’s face and try to keep your legs closed,” Wei Wuxian says, huffing. “His eyes are literally like the sun.”

 

“See, you say things like that and then tell us you only realized you were in love with him today. You're a mess, Wei Wuxian.”

 

Wei Wuxian's smile dies a little. 

 

“Yeah,” he says, looking away. 

 

Jiang Cheng stops fiddling with his spoon and looks up. He stares straight at him. 

 

“That was a joke.”

 

Wei Wuxian snaps up in surprise. 

 

“What?”

 

“I said,” he says forcefully, “that was a joke. I'm joking.”

 

“About me being a mess?” Wei Wuxian says. 

 

Jiang Cheng nods. 

 

Wei Wuxian blinks. 

 

“Oh.”

 

Another blink. 

 

“Okay?”

 

“I'm just telling you,” Jiang Cheng continues, “so you don't come out with your bullshit again, about me and Jiejie not loving you. When I say shit like that, I'm joking.”

 

Jiang Cheng looks like he wants to shove the words down Wei Wuxian's throat forcefully. Maybe also like he wants to brand them onto Wei Wuxian’s hand, so he never forgets. 

 

Wei Wuxian feels a knot form in his throat. 

 

“He's right.” 

 

They both turn to look at Shijie. 

 

She's looking back and forth between them, face stony. 

 

“I… wanted to talk to you, A-Xian. Both of you.”

 

She takes a deep breath. On her lap, her hands curl inwards. 

 

“Mother and father are not good parents,” she declares, like it's nothing. Like that's a fact all three of them haven't been trying to avoid for years. 

 

“Shijie!”

 

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng snaps at him. “Jiejie–”

 

“Stop it! Both of you. Stop.”

 

She holds her hand out firmly, like an elder sister. She rubs her temples.

 

“It's true. They're… distracted with each other; with their own problems.”

 

She takes a steadying breath. 

 

“And I… I have tried for years to…”

 

She closes her eyes tightly. Her face twists. 

 

“I have tried to cover it up as much as I–as I could.”

 

She looks at both of them with sad eyes. 

 

“With… with soup, and love, and hugs, and encouraging words.”

 

“Shijie–”

 

“A-Xian, please. Let me get through this.”

 

Wei Wuxian goes silent, looking at Jiang Cheng, who is looking back at him with a similar expression. They both want to stop their sister from crying by any means possible, as is their brotherly instinct. Jiang Yanli doesn’t seem very swayable, though. 

 

“But I failed.” She says simply. 

 

Both boys gawk at her.

 

“Jiejie,” Jiang Cheng says, looking almost scandalized. 

 

“A-Xian,” she turns to him with fierce eyes. “You hid A-Yuan from us. You didn’t trust us enough to tell us you’d had a baby in the night.”

 

“Shijie, I–” Wei Wuxian says, stricken.

 

“And I know it’s not my fault, not… entirely,” she continues, voice tight. 

 

“It’s not at all! Shijie, that wasn’t–”

 

“A-Xian–” Jiang Yanli says firmly. 

 

“No! Jiejie, it’s not, I–”

 

Wei Wuxian flails for words. This isn’t right. This isn’t Shijie’s fault!

 

“I didn't know what was happening,” Wei Wuxian says haltingly, smiling a bit. It still probably looks incredulous. “I don't know what was happening at all. I thought maybe I just ate too much? But it wasn't… It's not because of…”

 

“It's not just you, A-Ying,” she says softly. “For years, I've been trying to bridge the favoritism dividing you and A-Cheng.”

 

Wei Wuxian goes silent. 

 

Jiang Cheng has gone stiff. He's looking at the wall, chin sharp. 

 

“It's not fair,” Shijie says. “And my patience for it has finished. So we are going to do this from now on.”

 

She goes to Wei Wuxian and grasps his hand. 

 

“You,” she says firmly. “Will call me jiejie.”

 

Wei Wuxian's eyes widen painfully. 

 

“I will not respond to you if you call me Shijie. It's Jiejie or nothing.”

 

“Shijie–” Wei Wuxian squeaks out. 

 

“And you,” she turns to Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng looks uncertain, not knowing what to do with his sister's undecided attention. “Jiang Cheng. Father may have his favorites, but I do not. You are my didi. From now on, I will treat you just like I treat A-Xian, and you will just have to deal with it.”

 

She goes to Jiang Cheng. Then she takes him tightly in her arms. 

 

“A-Cheng, I love you. I'm sorry for not being a good big sister.”

 

“Jie, I don't know what you're talking about,” Jiang Cheng says thickly, tense. He's clearly not used to the hug. 

 

“You don't have to. That's for me to know and you to accept.”

 

“Shijie–” Wei Wuxian tries again.

 

“Jiejie,” Jiang Yanli corrects sternly. 

 

“J-jiejie?” He says uncertainly. He feels like the moment he says it, Madame Yu will descend from the depths of the aether and hit him with Zidian. 

 

There's something darkly satisfied in his sister's eyes, however. He takes a wild guess that Shi–Jiejie might just be enough to stop her. 

 

“Jiejie, I–I really don't want to get you in trouble with your parents. I already had A-Yuan like this, I don't want to make things… worse.”

 

Jiang Yanli stares at him, thin-lipped. 

 

“I really am okay. I don't want to cause problems…”

 

Wei Wuxian tries to laugh it off. Jiang Cheng escapes his sister's arms to flick him on the forehead. 

 

Wei Wuxian reels back in shock.

 

“Just shut up. You're a fucking idiot. They had to replace your fucking bed because you got so much blood on it. Jiejie’s right, I–”

 

Jiang Cheng snarls. 

 

“You're better than me. Father likes you better.”

 

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says, stiffening. 

 

“But that's not your fault. I don't care anymore.”

 

Jiang Cheng says it like it's that easy. Like you can just turn off the part of you that cares about and yearns for your father’s approval. 

 

“That’s not how it works!” Wei Wuxian says, suddenly agitated. “Guys, this really isn’t a big deal! Okay, so I panicked, so what!? Everything is fine, A-Yuan is fine–”

 

“You don’t think we love you,” Jiejie says crossly. 

 

“I don’t think anyone loves me! You’re not special!”

 

He’s trying so hard to make this a joke, to deflect, to just get things back to the way they were before. It’s not working. 

 

“And that is a problem,” Jiejie growls. 

 

“It’s not a big deal!” Wei Wuxian is beginning to get angry now. “Just because I made stupid decisions and this… creature came out of me,” he gestures to a cooing A-Yuan with his chin, “doesn’t mean anything has to change. My life was fine before, Shijie, I–”

 

“Jiejie,” Jiejie says firmly.

 

“Madame Yu will–”

 

“Mother can do what she wants,” Jiejie finally says, voice colder than he’s ever heard it. “If they don't want to bother to raise you both besides giving you the bare minimum education and training, that means you’re mine now, and that means that I make the rules.”

 

“Jiejie, that’s not fair. Madame Yu, Uncle Jiang, they’re trying their best and they’re not perfect, but–”

 

“Cut it out, Wei Wuxian. She’s right,” Jiang Cheng says harshly. 

 

“No, it’s–they’re trying their best! And I owe them, they’re the only reason I have a golden core, I–”

 

“Family doesn’t owe each other, Wei Ying. This isn’t normal.”

 

“I’m just a ward, it makes sense–”

 

“You are my brother,” Jiejie finally snaps, and she looks a little unhinged. Kind of possessed, if he’s being honest. 

 

Jiang Cheng takes a cautious step back.

 

“They pit you against each other. They put you in impossible positions, and they put A-Cheng under unattainable expectations, and then they ignore me because I’m just the spare daughter that they thought was going to marry a stupid Jin, and it’s not fair. So I’m not standing for it. I refuse. My patience has run out. You are mine now, and they can go cry about it, and that's the end of the story.”

 

With that, Jiang Yanli goes to serve them more soup. 

 

Wei Wuxian is left blinking rapidly. 

 

“Wait, I thought you liked the Peacock,” is the first thing that makes it out of his mouth. 

 

“I do,” Jiejie says, and she only sounds a little bit flustered. “That doesn’t change the fact that they think I’m expendable.”

 

She turns again, now holding bowls in her hands, and deposits them from where she picked them up, filled to the brim with warm soup. When she gets to Wei Wuxian, she sets his bowl down in his lap and gestures to take A-Yuan. 

 

Wei Wuxian hands him over with a sigh, and she takes him to his bassinet. He’s decently calm, not too startled at the handling, and Jiejie puts him in his bassinet and covers him carefully with a blanket. 

 

Then she goes and gives Jiang Cheng his bowl.

 

“Your mentality tends to change when your little brother almost dies from childbirth,” Jiejie says softly once she’s forced Jiang Cheng to sit down and begin taking more sips of broth. 

 

“Jiejie…” Wei Wuxian groans, then flinches at the pull of pain that results from the dramatic movement following his words. 

 

“The healers said you had internal bleeding; that’s why you lost so much blood. Your golden core was able to replenish it fast enough because it’s very developed, but if it had been even a little bit weaker, you would have died, A-Xian.”

 

Wei Wuxian grimaces.

 

“But I didn’t,” Wei Wuxian says tiredly. 

 

“You could have,” Jiejie says. “In any case, I’m taking measures to ensure this will never happen again.”

 

“By…” 

 

Jiejie looks straight into his eyes. She looks terrifyingly determined.

 

“By making you believe that you are loved. Both of you.”

Notes:

RAHHHHH anyway gotta sleep now byeeee

Chapter 4: Vulnerability (In Many Ways)

Summary:

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian finally talk.

Jiang Fengmian visits.

Notes:

A little bit about Jiang Fengmian. He probably does love his own children. He's terrible at showing it!

We're getting closer and closer to LWJ appearance 😏 he should come in next chapter. There will be a confession and everything!!

He’s unfairly pampered during the first three days of recovery. 

 

Wei Wuxian thinks Jiejie is forbidden to return to his healing room multiple times, but she still shows up without giving anything away on her face. She makes so much lotus root and pork rib soup that Wei Wuxian feels like he’s going to become it, like it's going to start coming out of his pores.

 

Wei Wuxian is filled with turmoil from her previous conversation, but he’s also busy trying to… adjust. To parenthood. 

 

It’s not working very well. 

 

He’s lucky in that he has Jiejie. Jiang Cheng comes and spends the afternoons with them once discipleship training is over, as he is the one who’s taken over for him during his recovery. 

 

“I hate this,” he says once, right after the lessons are done and he’s come into the room with a new little knick-knack he's bought A-Yuan somewhere. He’s taken to buying the baby little toys whenever he sees some in stalls. A-Yuan can’t even play with them yet; Wei Wuxian feels like it's a testament to Jiang Cheng's big, angry purple heart. 

 

Wei Wuxian has the toys all in a pile in the corner of his healing room. Sometimes he'll get Jiejie or Jiang Cheng himself to go get one so he can wave it around A-Yuan’s head and watch his little hands try to reach for it. 

 

“Hate what?” Wei Wuxian says distractedly. He's looking blearily down at A-Yuan as he holds onto his finger with all the strength his little body can muster. 

 

A-Yuan is a weird baby. 

 

Wei Wuxian doesn't know if it's the Lan genes, but A-Yuan is a calm infant. Almost unnervingly so. 

 

Wei Wuxian should have seen it coming just from the fact that he didn't cry when he was born (and gave Wei Wuxian a heart attack over it), but while A-Yuan did cry, he was overall content to just lay on Wei Wuxian's chest and just get occasionally fussy whenever he needed something. He really liked it when Wei Wuxian spoke to him, so he'd begun to build the habit of describing various things to him. 

 

Wei Wuxian had been treated to the sight of his baby falling asleep to the sound of his voice multiple times. It was magical. It made him want to sob until he cried. 

 

(When Jiejie had children, he wasn't going to leave her side for the next year. This was terrible. His emotions were a mess.)

 

“The disciples. Take them back. I hate being head disciple, I don't know why I was so jealous before, I changed my mind.”

 

Wei Wuxian looks at Jiang Cheng strangely. It wasn't like him to admit to being jealous so openly. 

 

Jiang Cheng looks at him for a moment, as if daring him to comment on it. Wei Wuxian figures Jiejie has probably talked to him, maybe, and that's why he's okay with being more emotional? And less repressed?

 

“It can't be that bad,” Wei Wuxian says, smirking. 

 

“It is,” Jiang Cheng grumbles. “They all like you best, anyway. That first day, everyone came up to me separately to ask about you at least once.”

 

Wei Wuxian thinks of the little shidis especially. He wonders what they know about the situation, exactly. 

 

“Everyone knows you gave birth, by the way,” Jiang Cheng casually drops. 

 

“What!?” Wei Wuxian exclaims, suddenly embarrassed.

 

“The servants gossip, idiot. Also, again, they had to replace your bed. And all the sheets.”

 

Wei Wuxian tries again to think back to that night. He knows he bled a lot, but not that he bled enough to warrant… that. 

 

Wei Wuxian looks at Jiang Cheng for a long moment. 

 

“Why aren't you mad at me?” He asks suddenly. 

 

Jiejie isn't here. Maybe she's gone to make more soup. He isn't sure; all he knows is that she's probably going to be back soon, and that means he needs to get this conversation out of the way now. 

 

Jiang Cheng blinks at him. 

 

“I am. I'm incredibly pissed off, Wei Wuxian. At multiple people. You're included.”

 

Wei Wuxian settles back in resignation. 

 

“And that pisses me off the most,” Jiang Cheng says, pointing at his face. “That this is what you fucking expect from me.”

 

Wei Wuxian shrugs carefully. 

 

“It's just… I made promises I'm probably not going to be able to keep, now.”

 

Jiang Cheng glares darkly as Wei Wuxian continues.

 

“If the Lan do accept the marriage contract, they'll probably want me to move to the Cloud Recesses. I won't be able to be your right-hand man anymore.”

 

“I know,” Jiang Cheng says. “And if it were any other thing, I would have probably blown up about it already.”

 

Wei Wuxian twists his face in confusion. 

 

“So what's…”

 

“What's different now?” Jiang Cheng says, beady eyes distant. “That,” he says, pointing to A-Yuan. 

 

Wei Wuxian blinks, lost. 

 

“A-Yuan…?”

 

Jiang Cheng huffs. He tightens his fists. 

 

“... Most of the time, I just ignore how bad this place is for you.”

 

Wei Wuxian rears back a bit. 

 

“It's not fair, I know that. But it's easier. To blame you instead of Father, or Mother.”

 

Jiang Cheng looks at his hands, then stands up and goes to tidy the table next to Wei Wuxian’s bedside. 

 

“Jiejie says it's because you're here, and they're not. So I blame you because I know you care about me being mad at you, and not them because I know they'll probably just ignore me, or call me ungrateful, or something.”

 

“Jiang Cheng, it's not that bad. Really.”

 

He keeps having to repeat it to his siblings, and it's starting to get tiring. He really was fine! 

 

“Yeah, okay, Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng snorts. “Anyway, it just got me thinking. About all of… this.”

 

He gestures to the room.

 

“You're always there for me, even when I don't think you are, or don't feel like you are. Just like Jiejie is always there for me, even though I think she likes you better. And Mom and Dad are never there, even though I'm never mad at them.”

 

He stacks some empty bowls up and sets them to the side. Then he starts warming up a pot of water to make some medicinal teas that Wei Wuxian has been prescribed. 

 

“You didn't see it, because you were in the middle of it, but you lost a lot of blood.”

 

Wei Wuxian closes his eyes. Not this again. 

 

“I thought you were an animated corpse at first, or a ghost. You were really pale. Maybe you don't want to remember, I don't know.”

 

“It's fine,” Wei Wuxian says, rocking A-Yuan. 

 

“It's fucking not fine. You could have died, and then I wouldn't have been able to tell you that I… that I look up to you and that I'm sorry for always blaming you for things, and that Mom and Dad being terrible parents and terrible guardians is not your fault, and…”

 

Wei Wuxian's face falls. 

 

“Jiang Cheng,” he says. “None of this is your fault, either. I'm your older brother. I'm supposed to protect you from things like this. That's why I take the blame, because I know it's hard and that they make you feel… bad. But I didn't call for help because I thought you guys didn't care about me, or that I was going to get in trouble–”

 

“Don't lie to me, Wei Wuxian, I'm not a fucking baby!” Jiang Cheng snaps. “Yes, you did, and I've been ignoring your frankly impressive inferiority complex because I'm selfish, and that almost got you killed, so I'm not doing it anymore.”

 

“That's not true–” Wei Wuxian protests. 

 

“IT IS TRUE!” Jiang Cheng screams. He's breathing heavily, chest filling and emptying. His face is scrunched up. He looks like he's about to cry. 

 

Wei Wuxian is stuck on this stupid bed; he can't even get up and bump his shoulders against Jiang Cheng’s, or fuss up his hair. 

 

Wei Wuxian narrows his eyes. 

 

“Come sit down,” he orders. 

 

Jiang Cheng glares at him, but does so. He sits down on the best next to Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian smiles and musses up his hair. Jiang Cheng squawks, but Wei Wuxian holds him in place. 

 

“To me, it's always been worth it,” Wei Wuxian tries to soothe, just like he's always done. 

 

“You have no sense of self-preservation. Of course it is.”

 

“I love you guys. Of course, I want to make your lives easier. Is that really too hard to understand?”

 

“You almost got yourself killed over it.”

 

“You guys are so dramatic.”

 

Jiang Cheng’s face twists in anger, and Wei Wuxian gets ready to soothe some feathers again. But no; instead, Jiang Cheng just breathes out.

 

“Jiejie said to be patient. I hope you know that’s the only reason I haven't separated your head from your body.”

 

Wei Wuxian laughs. It makes his sides hurt.

 

“Aww, Shidi, don’t be like that,” he says with only a little bit of a wheeze. 

 

“Don’t call me that,” Jiang Cheng gently shoves. 

 

“Are you treating me gently now that I’m an invalid? I should have babies more often!”

 

“Don’t even joke about that!”

 

Wei Wuxian snickers, then sighs. 

 

“Well, it’s not like I have anyone to have them with, anyway.”

 

Jiang Cheng is silent for a bit. When Wei Wuxian looks at him, he looks pensive. 

 

“... why Lan Wangji?” he eventually asks, looking already like he regrets it. 

 

“Why Lan Zhan what?”

 

Jiang Cheng scowls. He gestures at the baby. 

 

“Oh! Why let Lan Zhan fuck me?”

 

“Wei Wuxian!”

 

“Haha! I’m sorry, I had to, the joke was right there. Ummm, but, well…”

 

Wei Wuxian looks back at his baby. 

 

“I don’t know. Lan Zhan is hot. He’s also nice to talk to.”

 

“He doesn’t speak, what are you talking about?”

 

“He listens! And he cares a lot, once you get past his very handsome, very stoic face. Maybe not about me, but…”

 

Jiang Cheng tilts his head. 

 

“Jiejie says he cares about you.”

 

Wei Wuxian waves a hand.

 

“Jiejie cares about me, so of course she’s going to say that. She’s just trying to make me feel better.”

 

“So now you admit she cares about you.”

 

“Care doesn’t mean love. When you love someone, you…”

 

When you love someone, you… He’s not sure, actually. Love is confusing. 

 

“How do you know you love Lan Wangji, then?” Jiang Cheng asks him.

 

Wei Wuxian blinks. 

 

“I don’t know, I just…”

 

He just thinks of him all the time, at every waking moment. When he sees candies on the street, he wants Lan Zhan to try them. When he sees spicy pork buns or wontons or scallion pancakes, he wants Lan Zhan to try them. When he sees lotus pods on the lakes of Yunmeng, he wants Lan Zhan to try them. He wants to show him his favorite places. He wants to go swimming with him. He wants to wake up next to him like he did that one time, with Lan Zhan almost smiling down at him, expression hidden in the corner of his mouth. He wants to show him A-Yuan and have him make it again, he wants to hold his hand and have him embrace him in his arms, he wants to serve him tea and tease him with a million different little things and have dinner and lunch and breakfast, he wants to… he wants to…

 

“Okay, stop, oh my god, that face is disgusting.”

 

“What?” Wei Wuxian asks, focusing back onto the conversation. A-Yuan is fussing. He’s probably hungry. 

 

“You look absolutely besotted. Never mind.”

 

“Ugh, A-Yuan, please just…” Wei Wuxian mutters as he gets the baby settled, opening his robes. He’s had to get used to the alien feeling of feeding A-Yuan the past few days against his will, but it was… fine. A-Yuan was polite, at least. 

 

He looks back up at Jiang Cheng, who is now averting his eyes. 

 

“Anyway,” he says lamely, and winces. He’s the most transparent fucker alive, right now. It’s an embarrassing thing to feel. 

 

“Are you sure he doesn’t like you back?” Jiang Cheng says, making a sort of incredulous face. 

 

“Yup,” Wei Wuxian says, and rocks his kid. 

 

Jiang Cheng looks him up and down. 

 

“Okay,” he says doubtfully, which is very rude in Wei Wuxian’s opinion, “if he says no to the contract, Mother said you can stay anyway, so A-Yuan can take your name and just become a Jiang disciple when he grows up. There. Promise kept.”

 

Wei Wuxian smiles. 

 

“Yeah, exactly. Everything is… everything is fine.”

 

A very strange expression passes over Jiang Cheng’s face. It looks like a plotting face. Wei Wuxian is… kind of concerned. 

 

“If he says yes, he’ll have to move here. So, again, promise kept.”

 

Wei Wuxian chokes on absolutely nothing.

 

“I’m sorry, what?”

 

“He’s the second heir, not first. He can come here.”

 

“Jiang Cheng, that’s not–”

 

“If he says yes, then it means he loves you. If he loves you, he knows he can’t take you to Gusu, becase Gusu is fucking boring and has no seasoning or alcohol or lotus lakes. So he’ll agree.”

 

“Jiang Cheng, I’d be marrying into the Lan Clan, Lan Zhan has a higher status than me!”

 

“You’re both men. It’s fine. A-Yuan can take his name if he wants, but he’s coming here. End of story.”

 

“He’s not even going to say yes!”

 

“We’re just covering all our bases.”

 

Wei Wuxian blinks very, very slowly. What is happening?

 

“I–Okay. He’s going to say no, but okay, Jiang Cheng. Whatever you say.”

 

Jiang Cheng nods, satisfied. 

 

There’s a small moment of silence. 

 

“Anyway, make yourself heal faster. The disciples are driving me insane.”

 

Wei Wuxian laughs again. It feels good to laugh. Wei Wuxian is such a naturally joyful person, and the past few days have been absolutely harrowing. It’s nice to feel at least a little bit normal again. 

 

Jiejieb ends up walking in at that moment, holding a tray with more food. 

 

"That's a nice sound to be met with,” she says, smiling. She puts the tray down and comes over to pinch Jiang Cheng’s cheeks, then Wei Wuxian’s.

 

“He’s a hungry one, isn’t he?” she says as she starts to serve their plates. 

 

“Yup,” Wei Wuxian says. “But he’s cute, so I’ll forgive him.” 

 

He strokes a careful finger down A-Yuan’s face. His features are still so tiny. It’s adorable. 

 

“I can’t believe you have a whole child,” Jiang Cheng says, staring at A-Yuan. 

 

“Me either,” Wei Wuxian says with a wild smile. If he thinks about it too much, he’s going to have a panic attack. 

 

Whatever Jinag Cheng is going to say next is cut off by the door opening once more. When Wei Wuxian looks up, he stops breathing. 

 

Jiang Fangmian is standing at the doorway, smiling, looking uncertain. 

 

“Hello, A-Xian,” he says. He doesn’t greet any of the Jiang siblings. 

 

His heart rate spikes. He’s already thinking of how he’s going to make up for this later with Jiang Cheng, what to buy in the market for Jiejie, what compliments to give both of them to help them ignore Jiang Fengmian’s favoritism…

 

“Hello, Uncle Jiang,” Wei Wuxian says, trying to smile. He hopes he’s smiling. He can’t feel his face. 

 

Jiang Yanli comes over and hands them their plates of food. She says nothing, and her expression is blank. So is Jiang Cheng’s when Wei Wuxian checks.

 

The good thing is that A-Yuan is finished feeding, so now he’s dozing in Wei Wuxian’s arms. He could put him down in his bassinet, but feels like keeping him there a little longer, so he does. He has the best baby smell. He tries to hold onto that and use it to stay calm. 

 

“I wanted to see how you were doing,” Uncle Jiang says. He peers around the room, gaze sliding over his children like water. “Can I come in?”

 

“I–” Wei Wuxian says haltingly. His hands are shaking. 

 

“A-Xian hasn’t eaten yet,” Jiang Yanli cuts in firmly. “Perhaps come back later.”

 

Jiang Fengmain turns to her, almost… startled. 

 

“Ah,” he says, nodding. “I just wanted to talk to A-Xian about something. It shouldn’t take long.”

 

“Then you can do it while we’re in the room.” Jiang Yanli says simply. Then she goes back to serve their cups of tea. 

 

“I see,” Uncle Jiang says, almost unnerved. “Well, then. A-Xian, My Lady has sent a request to the Cloud Recesses for a… marriage contract between you and Lan Wangji.”

 

Wei Wuxian tries very hard to keep his expression steady. His siblings are looking at him. 

 

“Right, she did say… she did say she would do that, yeah…” Wei Wuxian says awkwardly. He doesn’t want to talk about this. He really doesn’t.

 

Uncle Jiang looks stiff and troubled. 

 

“I wanted to ask if this is what you wanted.” 

 

Wei Wuxian tenses up. This is probably not good for his health. 

 

Jiang Fengmain’s eyes linger on A-Yuan. 

 

“My Lady, I feel, might have been a bit too presumptuous in this matter. I just cannot imagine you and Lan Wangji would make a very good pair.”

 

A knot forms in Wei Wuxian’s throat. 

 

Why do you want to cry!? He furiously scolds himself. He’s right! 

 

Lan Wangji probably knows it, too. So do Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen: the people who would be realistically in charge of Lan Zhan's marriage prospects. Never mind them being Ziji, Wei Wuxian is still convinced this must have been a curse of some kind. 

 

Jiejie is gripping the handle of the teapot in her hand so tightly that her fingers are turning white. 

 

“I understand,” Wei Wuxian says tightly. 

 

“I just wanted you to know that, if you want, I can interfere. We can work something out, A-Xian. You do not have to tie yourself to the Lan if you do not want to.”

 

Wei Wuxian nods, trying so, so hard to smile. 

 

“Yes, Uncle, I-I know.”

 

“So do you want me to?”

 

Wei Wuxian feels his chin trembling. 

 

“I–” 

 

“Eat first,” Jiejie interrupts. “You can’t think on an empty stomach. Would you like me to take him?” she offers softly. 

 

“No, I-I’m good. Thank you.”

 

He wants A-Yuan in his arms right now, the proof of his and Lan Zhan’s connection, for however brief or small it may have been. 

 

“Alright. Free up a hand, then, and dig in.”

 

She’s made spicy pork dumplings and a sauce to dip them in. A small serving of rice accompanies it, perfectly cooked to the right consistency. 

 

“Thank you, Jiejie,” Jiang Cheng says. He’s still staring at Wei Wuxian. 

 

“Thank you, Jiejie,” Wei Wuxian says distantly, not hungry. He figures he can at least try to eat some of the rice…

 

“Of course,” Jiejie says, stroking his hair softly. She goes back to the tray. 

 

“Did you make yourself some food, too?” Jiang Cheng asks after her. 

 

“Of course. I already ate before I came here. That way, if A-Xian needs anything, I can take over.”

 

“Yanli,” Jiang Fengmian cuts in. “I appreciate that you want to take care of Wei Wuxian by cooking for him, but I really do think you should leave that to the servants.”

 

Jiejie’s expression doesn’t change. She just ignores him and begins to fluff up A-Yuan’s blankets. 

 

“Jiejie’s food is great,” Wei Wuxian tries to soothe, tries to fix. “It’s very healing.”

 

Uncle Jiang looks at him with an indulgent look. 

 

“Of course. Still, the cooking ladies have much more experience, so it should be best left to them.”

 

“I have been cooking,” Jiejie cuts in with a voice as cold as ice, “since I was seven.”

 

Jiang Fengmian furrows his brows. 

 

“I still think–”

 

“I really don’t care what you think.”

 

Jiang Fengmian looks almost hurt at that. 

 

“That is not how a daughter responds to her father,” he reprimands.

 

“There’s no need to–” Wei Wuxian tries to speak, but is cut off by Jiang Cheng’s stern expression.

 

“Maybe you should come back later,” Jiang Cheng says. “Wei Wuxian’s still recovering.”

 

“I haven’t met the baby yet,” Uncle Jiang says, turning back to Wei Wuxian. 

 

“Right,” Wei Wuxian says, coughing faintly. He tries to summon up a sunny attitude. “Well, um, here he is!” 

 

He offers A-Yuan forward, a bit. His little eyes are closed, and his breathing is nice and even. 

 

Uncle Jiang walks a few steps inside the room, approaching. His arms become outstretched. 

 

“Can I hold him?” he asks, smiling slightly. 

 

Wei Wuxian’s response gets caught in his throat. 

 

He thinks back to when Madame Yu took his baby, not giving him back until she was done saying her piece. He’d been so afraid. Uncle isn’t the same, of course he isn’t, he would never hurt A-Yuan, but–

 

“Sure,” he pushes out. “Sure, sure…”

 

Jiang Fengmain comes over, and Wei Wuxian carefully, carefully deposits A-Yuan into his arms. He doesn’t wake up. He just keeps dreaming his little baby dreams. 

 

Jiang Fengmian holds him with practiced ease, bouncing him a bit. He stares at him for a long while. 

 

“He has your mother’s cheeks. And her nose.”

 

Wei Wuxian’s anxiety shouldn’t spike so hard, but it does. He is painfully aware of the fact that Madame Yu lives here too. If it had been anyone else, he wouldn’t be this wound up, but Madame Yu is especially sensitive to Uncle Jiang mentioning Wei Wuxian’s mother, and she could be walking around in the halls–

 

“That's… thank you, Uncle,” Wei Wuxian nods, trying to bow.

 

Jiang Fengmian stops him. 

 

“You did a good job, A-Xian. He looks very healthy.”

 

Wei Wuxian offers another feeble ‘thank you’.

 

A-Yuan yawns, then opens his eyes a crack, having finally felt the disturbance to his sleep. 

 

“Ah,” Jiang Fengmian says in surprise. “His eyes are gold.”

 

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian says faintly. They were beautiful, A-Yuan’s very best feature. 

 

“It would have been nice if he’d inherited your eyes,” Jiang Fengmian says whistfully. “But you can’t have it all, I suppose.”

 

“Right. Ha.”

 

There’s a short silence. Finally, Jiang Fengmian nods and comes back to give A-Yuan back. Wei Wuxian feels like he snatches him back a little too fast, but Uncle Jiang doesn’t notice. 

 

“Well, then. Again, if you want me to put a stop to all this marriage business, let me know.”

 

Wei Wuxian wants him to leave.

 

Would he be this way for Jiejie or Jiang Cheng? Would he offer them such an easy way out of having a baby without being married?

 

“I’ll think about it,” Wei Wuxian says, pained. 

 

“I just don’t think you would do very well in Gusu. I would hate for you to have to settle in somewhere where you wouldn’t thrive. And A-Yuan would really best be suited for a Jiang education."

 

“Mhmm,” Wei Wuxian nods. 

 

“Father,” Jiang Yanli says curtly. “A-Xian needs rest.”

 

“Of course. I will come to visit again when I’m able. Let me know if you need anything, yes?”

 

He pats Wei Wuxian on the shoulder, then turns and leaves without another word. 

 

Wei Wuxian watches him go with turmoil under his skin. 

 

“He doesn’t mean it,” he’s already saying, pasting on a smile and turning to his siblings to comfort them. “Maybe he was just busy and forgot to say hi–”

 

When he turns to the Jiang siblings, Jiang Cheng is serving Jiang Yanli a cup of tea while she seethes on the floor. (She didn’t collapse; she had sat down to meet Wei Wuxian’s height. The bed he was on was floor level.)

 

“Jiejie–”

 

“Just stop,” she says. “I’m not mad at you. A-Cheng is not mad at you. Give me a moment.”

 

Wei Wuxian goes fearfully silent. 

 

“Here, Jiejie,” Jiang Cheng says, grimacing. 

 

“Thank you,” she says, and sips the tea carefully. Then she seems to give up and downs the whole thing in a straight shot. 

 

“Can I have another.”

 

Jiang Cheng takes the cup and serves her more tea. 

 

When Jiejie takes it in her hands, she sighs. 

 

“It’s fine, A-Xian. Everything is fine. Eat your food.”

 

“He really doesn’t mean to–”

 

“Wei Wuxian. She’s not upset because Father ignored her. She’s upset about what he said to you and that he stressed you out,” Jiang Cheng bites at him. 

 

Wei Wuxian blinks, shocked.

 

“What?”

 

“Just give me a moment,” Jiejie says, now sounding considerably more strained. 

 

They give her a moment. In the meantime, Wei Wuxian tries to give Jiang Cheng a look. Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. 

 

Finally, Jiejie opens her mouth to speak. 

 

“I’m sorry he said that,” she says gently, much more collected now.

 

“Said what?” Wei Wuxian tries to downplay. 

 

“About you and Lan Wangji not going together. It’s clear that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

 

Wei Wuxian shrugs. 

 

“He isn’t wrong.”

 

“You’re allowed to think that,” Jiejie says, trying to be encouraging. “We shall see. I’m also sorry he took A-Yuan without checking to see if you were comfortable with him holding him first."

 

Wei Wuxian tries, again, to smile.

 

“It’s fine, Jiejie–”

 

 

“No, it's not. Anyway, I got candied lotus seeds. Do you want any? I’m only sharing because you have a baby, any other time, and I would absolutely hoard these,” Jiang Cheng says.

 

Wei Wuxian gawks, smiling.

 

Jiejie turns to look softly at Jiang Cheng. She looks like a doting mother duck.

 

“I will buy you both more at the market,” she says, the right kind of indulgent, not the type that makes him feel like a bug under someone’s shoe. 

 

Wei Wuxian begins to eat his plate of food with measured bites. 

 

Everything is all right again. 

Notes:

Sorry not sorry 😂

Everything is gonna blow up when the Lans get here. You think you've seen family drama? NOPE!

Tell me your favorite scenes or what you think of characters so far!

Chapter 5: An Arrival

Summary:

Lan Zhan finally joins the game. He's not in the best condition.

Notes:

Welcome back to your regularly scheduled surprise mpreg family dramaaaaaa

Lan Zhan is finally here! Them talking about their feelings is gonna have to wait till next chapter, sorry if I promised it would happen in this one, I'm sowwyyyyyy

My favorite autistic Lan is a little fragile right now. You'll see. I will say his entrance is probably not one you're going to be expecting 😅

Wei Wuxian wakes up to the knowledge that someone is at his window. 

 

He doesn’t move a muscle. It’s night, and he’s facing away from it. He tries to take stock first. 

 

A-Yuan is still in his bassinet, breathing softly. It’s overlapped by the slight sound of the stranger’s breathing, which is kind of unsteady. 

 

Wei Wuxian thinks to where his sword is. Jiang Cheng had brought it and put it next to the door. It would be painful, but maybe he could get up and grab it fast enough to cut down the stranger outside while grabbing A-Yuan to protect him. Nothing like a little murder to welcome a baby into the world, even if it was four days overdue. 

 

For now, he starts laying a trap. He pretends he’s just woken up naturally, yawning slightly, getting up carefully, slowly. No need to be rash just yet. 

 

He carefully doesn’t look at the window as he leans over to check on A-Yuan. He can barely make him out in the moonlight. His little chest is rising and falling, and he’s swaddled tightly so he doesn’t get tangled in the sheets, so he doesn’t suffocate. That had been one of his biggest fears. Jiejie, who had taken nursing classes, taught him how to wrap A-Yuan properly, but Wei Wuxian was still afraid that something was going to go wrong in the night. If this stranger hadn’t woken him up, odds are Wei Wuxian would still be up right now, just making sure his baby is still breathing. 

 

Yes, he is very exhausted. It is fine. 

 

There’s a sharp inhale from the window. Wei Wuxian eyes his sword. It’s looking more like he might need it every passing moment.

 

Then the person at his window begins tapping. 

 

Wei Wuxian can’t help but swivel his head around to face them incredulously.

 

He makes out the figure. Burly, broad shoulders. Taught posture. They hold themselves a little too haughty to be an assassin, but the ghost theory hasn’t been discarded just yet. 

 

They do look painfully familiar. 

 

“Who’s there?” Wei Wuxian coughs out. His voice is hoarse with sleep. 

 

The figure startles. There’s a small silence. 

 

“Wei Ying?” he hears whispered with a trembling voice. 

 

Wei Wuxian isn’t sure what the feeling that goes through him is, exactly. He just knows it’s encompassing, all-consuming, and reaches all the way from his head to his toes. 

 

Lan Wangji!?

 

“Lan Zhan ?” he says. Why is Lan Zhan here? What is Lan Zhan doing here? He thinks he might be dreaming. 

 

Another moment of silence. 

 

“Can I come in?” Lan Zhan proceeds to say. 

 

Wei Wuxian stiffens. He looks at the sleeping baby, then back at Lan Zhan’s silhouette. He doesn’t know if he knows about the baby yet. Hell, he doesn’t even know if this is a spirit masquerading as Lan Zhan just to get Wei Wuxian’s trust. 

 

“How did we first meet?” Wei Wuxian asks him.

 

Lan Zhan seems to tilt his head. 

 

“Why are you… on the rooftops. Cloud Recesses lectures.”

 

“What was I doing?” Wei Wuxian says coldly. 

 

“Smuggling alcohol. Breaking rules.”

 

Wei Wuxian snorts. That’s good enough, he supposes. 

 

He gets up carefully, still pained, and walks over to the window. He has a talisman under his robe just in case. As it is, he takes out a light-producing one to see Lan Zhan’s face to make sure, and activates it. 

 

It’s Lan Zhan, alright. The most exhausted and worn-looking Lan Zhan he’s ever seen, but it’s him. It’s unfair, but even now he still looks beautiful. 

 

Wei Wuxian switches fully from suspicious to shocked. 

 

“ Lan Zhan!?” he hisses. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Can I come in?” he repeats again. Wei Wuxian feels stuck in a hard place here. 

 

“Wait, okay, how did you get here? Did someone let you in?” If they did, that someone was in serious trouble. 

 

“Snuck in,” Lan Zhan says. 

 

Wei Wuxian feels his soul leave his body.

 

“You’re joking,” he says, re-evaluating his conclusion that this is the real Lan Zhan. 

 

“Please let me in.”

 

Wei Wuxian glares at him. Then he unlatches the window and, against his better judgement, lets him inside. 

 

Lan Wangji stumbles into the room. He almost collapses. Wei Wuxian goes to hold him up in alarm. 

 

“Woah, what is–what happened!? Where are you hurt?”

 

“Not injured,” Lan Zhan kind of slurs. “Just depleted.”

 

Wei Wuxian grabs onto his wrist and checks his meridians. He’s horrified to find Lan Zhan’s reserves dangerously low in his core. 

 

“What did you do!?” Wei Wuxian hisses at him. “You stupid, stupid man, nothing could have been worth–”

 

“They wouldn’t let me see the baby.”

 

Wei Wuxian freezes. Lan Zhan has reached the floor in a shaky landing with Wei Wuxian’s help by now, so when Wei Wuxian flinches away, he doesn’t fall, just leans forward precariously. 

 

“Had to break the barrier,” he continues without prompting. “It was a strong barrier.”

 

“I don’t–” Wei Wuxian says, blood rushing in his ears. “You wanted to see if the baby was real?”

 

Lan Zhan shakes his head.

 

“Baby is real. I believe Wei Ying, always. Just wanted to see our baby.”

 

Wei Wuxian’s words get caught in his throat. 

 

‘Our’ baby. The claim of ownership unlatches something deep in him, something he thought was impossible. Lan Zhan was calling A-Yuan his. 

 

Wei Wuxian has to be dreaming.

 

“I–okay, wait, what do you mean they wouldn’t let you see–”

 

“Wanted to come right away,” Lan Wangji says, still very clearly out of it. “Uncle said no. When I tried anyway, he locked me in the Jingshi and activated the wards.”

 

Wards!? Wards around Lan Zhan’s home!? Why…!?

 

“Okay,” Wei Wuxian says unsteadily. “Okay, well, you’re here now–”

 

Lan Zhan shakes his head. 

 

“See the baby.”

 

His vocabulary really does get that much more brief when he’s exhausted. 

 

“What are you–”

 

“Can I see him?” Lan Zhan says. “The baby.”

 

Wei Wuxian wants to cry. He wants to bawl. He’d had to stop himself from hoping for this, had had to hold himself back so carefully. 

 

“Yeah,” He says, only a little bit choked. It doesn’t matter that A-Yuan is sleeping. “Just hold on, I’ll get him.”

 

He sets some lantern talismans. With the light, he catches sight of Lan Wangji’s torn robes. It looked like he ran here. Did they take his sword?

 

Wei Wuxian carefully lifts A-Yuan from his bassinet and brings him over. Lan Zhan’s gaze pins itself to the bundle of blankets. His golden eyes glow in the light. This close, Wei Wuxian can see just how out of it he truly is.

 

Wei Wuxian carefully deposits A-Yuan into Lan Zhan’s waiting arms. He’s watching carefully to see if Lan Zhan begins to faint, because that seems like a possibility now, no matter how strange it would be in any other situation. Lan Zhan takes the baby with shaking limbs, face turning… awed. 

 

“He’s real,” he whispers. 

 

“I thought you said you believed me,” Wei Wuxian says haltingly, trying to keep things light but also choked with emotion. 

 

“Seemed too good to be true,” Lan Zhan proceeds to say like it's nothing, closing his eyes deeply and opening them again, gaze still stuck on the baby. 

 

Wei Wuxian feels a wave of something pass over him. It takes him a second to identify it. 

 

It’s love.

 

Love mixed with relief, with shock, with his own awe at Lan Zhan. He’s terrified he’s going to wake up and Lan Zhan is still going to be miles away, probably rejecting Madame Yu’s marriage proposal. 

 

“Does he have a name?” Lan Zhan whispers. His body is starting to lean precariously to the side. Wei Wuxian really doesn’t want to take A-Yuan away from him, but it's starting to seem necessary. 

 

“A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian says softly, then starts to take the baby back. “I’ll give him back later, I promi–”

 

“Lan Yuan,” Lan Zhan says reverently, his arms falling, not going back to his sides once A-Yuan has been taken from him. 

 

Then his eyes close, and he falls forward. He’s… he’s fainted!

 

“Lan Zhan!?” Wei Wuxian says, panicked. He puts A-Yuan in his bassinet, who is now awake, and goes to check Lan Zhan’s meridians. 

 

His spiritual energy is, once again, very low, but Wei Wuxian didn’t think it was that bad! Now that he’s looking closer, it… 

 

He rips his hand away. Breaths unsteady, he gets up despite the pain and goes to the hall. 

 

“Shixiong?” one of the disciples passing by says. Wei Wuxian hasn’t seen him in days. He hasn’t left his healing room in days. 

 

“I need you to go get Shijie,” he says harshly to him, not yet willing to call Jiang Yanli jiejie in public. “Now.”

 

—

 

“He’s exhausted. Dangerously so,” Jiejie says, face set into a concerned grimace. 

 

“What do we do? I don't have a lot of energy right now since I’m healing–”

 

Jiejie comes over to him and rubs his back. 

 

“We need to go get A-Cheng. He has a decent core and hasn’t been doing anything too strenuous.”

 

“But–”

 

“A-Xian. He can keep a secret.”

 

Wei Wuxian looks at her dubiously. 

 

“He might try to finish the job, Jiejie,” he says, gesturing at Lan Zhan, who has been carefully laid out beside Wei Wuxian’s bed. 

 

Jiejie shakes her head. 

 

“Once you tell him he’s like this because he broke out of the Cloud Recesses to come see you, I'm sure he’ll soften a bit.”

 

Wei Wuxian huffs. 

 

“He came to see A-Yuan, not me,” he gripes. 

 

Jiejie just nods indulgently, a smile peeking out from the corner of her mouth. 

 

“I will go get him. You stay here.”

 

She gets up and leaves the room with brisk, efficient steps. 

 

Wei Wuxian is left alone with Lan Zhan and their baby. He goes over to sit next to Lan Zhan, watching his unconscious face. 

 

He reaches down to stroke his forehead. Lan Zhan looks so pale. Paler than usual. 

 

“You stupid man,” he whispers to him. “You stupid, stupid man.”

 

He thinks back to Jiejie’s expression when she had seen Lan Zhan’s form just… sprawled out onto the floor. It’d been a sight to behold. 

 

“Stupid,” Wei Wuxian whispers again, but this time, it has almost no bite. 

 

A-Yuan starts fussing. Wei Wuxian goes to pick him up. When he comes back and he's begun to settle into Wei Wuxian’s arms, just wanting some attention, he sees Lan Wangji’s face flickering at A-Yuan’s little sounds.

 

He wonders what Lan Zhan is dreaming about.

 

Jiejie comes back into the room. Behind her, a furious Jiang Cheng emerges. 

 

“Why is he here?” is the first thing he grits out. 

 

“Shidi, please–” Wei Wuxian tries, but Jiang Cheng isn’t having it. 

 

“He snuck in!? Why couldn’t he go through the official channels!?”

 

“Madame Yu said the Lans would have to agree to a marriage contract before getting to see A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian says, grimacing. “And he also says his uncle put a barrier around his house, to stop him from coming.”

 

Jiang Cheng still looks furious.

 

“He could have asked for an audience,” he hisses out, but comes closer anyway and grabs Lan Zhan’s wrist harshly, beginning an energy transfer. He stiffens when he feels the full extent of Lan Zhan’s exhaustion. 

 

“What the fuck?” Jiang Cheng says.

 

“A-Xian says that Lan-er-gongzi broke out of the wards himself. They might have been similar to the ones surrounding his sect, if they caused… this,” Jiejie says carefully. 

 

Jiang Cheng is silent for a long moment.

 

“He’s a fucking idiot.”

 

Wei Wuxian sighs heavily. Still, he says nothing. He’s trying to just let Jiang Cheng's feelings pass. 

 

Lan Zhan's color is better when Jiang Cheng finally pulls his hand away some time later. 

 

“Thank you,” Wei Wuxian says, grateful, and goes to check Lan Zhan’s meridians again. Still not the best, but much less precarious. 

 

“Whatever,” Jiang Cheng says, eyes narrowed. He goes to sit down next to Wei Wuxian, eyes not leaving Lan Wanji’s figure. 

 

Jiejie goes to prepare some water and a towel to dab at Lan Zhan’s forehead. 

 

“No, wait, I can do it,” Wei Wuxian says, scrambling to find somewhere to put his baby. 

 

“A-Xian, you’ve moved around more than enough,” she sighs, but holds out the bowl of water. 

 

“Hmph,” Jiang Cheng just huffs, still unhappy with the situation. 

 

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes and gives him the baby. Jiang Cheng takes him with panicked movements. A-Yuan just blinks blearily, calm and measured. He’s gotten pretty used to Wei Wuxian’s siblings over the past few days. 

 

Wei Wuxian takes the water and wrings the towel. Once he’s done, he begins to carefully wipe the sweat off of Lan Zhan’s brow. The man doesn’t react, just sleeps on. Wei Wuxian carefully moves his hair out of the way and dabs. 

 

He’s never done this before, but for Lan Zhan, he can learn.

“I can’t believe you have to tend to him when you’re the one who gave birth,” Jiang Cheng gripes. 

 

“A-Cheng, that’s more than enough. He came all the way to see A-Xian and the baby.”

 

“To see A-Yuan,” Wei Wuxian corrects distractedly. 

 

“That’s the bare minimum,” Jiang Cheng spits. 

 

Jiejie rolls her eyes. She comes back over to where Wei Wuxian is and sits down next to him.

 

“Did he get to hold the baby?” She says softly. 

 

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian says whistfully. “He did.”

 

Wei Wuxian can feel Jiejie smiling beside him. 

 

“How did he react?”

 

Wei Wuxian’s mind flashes back to Lan Zhan’s face, to his voice saying it ‘seemed too good to be true’ and ‘our baby’ .

 

“Really well,” he says, a bit disbelieving.

 

“He better have,” Jiang Cheng says from behind them.

 

Jiejie ignores him, instead reaching out to pat Wei Wuxian’s hand. She doesn’t say anything else. She doesn’t have to. 

 

After a short silence, Jiang Cheng cuts in with a dose of reality. 

 

“How are we going to keep him hidden?”

 

Wei Wuxian grimaces. 

 

“No one else comes to visit besides you guys, except the healers,” he starts, thinking. 

 

“The healers report to our parents. They’ll get us caught,” Jiang Cheng says, and even though he’s not happy Lan Zhan is here, at least he’s helping keep his presence on the lower end of awareness. 

 

“I can tell them you want time alone with the baby, so they can at least leave you alone for a day,” Jiejie suggests, voice pensive.

 

Wei Wuxian closes his eyes. This was all such a complicated situation. 

 

“His family will probably be looking for him. They’re going to show up here soon,” Jiang Cheng retorts. 

 

Wei Wuxian turns to Jiejie. She looks troubled. 

“He’s right,” she says. “I think our plan shouldn’t be to keep him hidden, necessarily…”

 

Jiejie takes a moment to ponder things. Then she looks at Wei Wuxian with a knowing look. 

 

“A-Xian, do you want him to stay?” she says, patting him on the back. 

 

Wei Wuxian stares. 

 

“Um,” he starts, unsure. “I think I need to find out if he wants to stay, first.”

 

Jiejie sighs. 

 

“You want to talk to him, then, yes?”

 

Wei Wuxian nods. They… have a lot to talk about and figure out. Wei Wuxian wants to rip off the bandage as soon as possible. Maybe they can figure out a co-parenting schedule, since Lan Zhan seems to care about A-Yuan and probably wants to be involved if his earlier reaction is any indication. 

 

“Alright, then we will keep him here until you two talk, and then afterwards we can figure out what to do.”

 

Wei Wuxian nods, relieved to have some semblance of a plan. 

 

“I hope he wakes up soon,” he says, looking back at Lan Zhan’s sleeping face. 

 

He washes the towel in his hands, wrings it again, and then begins to dab at Lan Zhan’s forehead once more. 

Notes:

Tadaaaaaaaa

Now let me watch as the Lan Qiren hate comments roll in.... LOL! Sorry y'all, LQ is a traumatized asian parent. sucks that he had to take it ou on LZ. We'll untangle a lot of those actions and the consequences they will have in later chapters. Look forward to the confrontationnnnnn if y'all think LQ isn't gonna come looking for LWJ ur... very wrong lol

Tell me what you liked! Favorite scenes! Vibes! Did you cry?

Ok I sleep now hahahaah its like 5am

Chapter 6: Communication Station!

Summary:

The boys finally talk!

Lan Zhan wakes up sixteen hours later.

 

Jiejie has done well on her promise and worked her magic, and the healers have left him alone for the day. She’s come to drop off food and keep him company while Jiang Cheng does his duties. All she can talk about during those sixteen hours, though, is Lan Zhan’s reaction to A-Yuan. 

 

“He broke out of his sect to come see you two,” she keeps saying, “it’s so romantic.” 

 

“Jiejie, he came to see the baby,” Wei Wuxian reminds her for the thousandth time. 

 

“Hmm,” she hums dubiously, and keeps making stitches on her embroidery. She likes to sew cute designs on handkerchiefs. 

 

“You’re assuming things,” Wei Wuxian says crossly. He’s got A-Yuan on his lap and is playing with his little arms, making them flail gently back and forth. A-Yuan will pop a bubble here and there. Sometimes he makes the funniest annoyed faces. He's barely four days old, but Wei Wuxian can already see the personality peeking through.

 

“Maybe,” she says, still smug. Wei Wuxian grumbles under his breath. 

 

It's sundown by the time Lan Zhan wakes up. Jiejie and he are talking while Wei Wuxian changes his baby's diaper. A-Yuan goes through them like water goes through your fingers. Jiejie glances to the side mid-sentence and startles.

 

“Ah,” she says, and then smiles. “Lan-er-gongnzi!”

 

Wei Wuxian whips his face around to see Lan Zhan sitting up, watching them with no small amount of disorientation and confusion. 

 

“Wei Ying?” He says groggily. 

 

Wei Wuxian finishes tying A-Yuan's diaper and smiles nervously. 

 

“Lan Zhan! Good morning! Or, well, afternoon. Lan-er-gege looks so heavenly while he sleeps; he must be a descendant of the gods!”

 

He kind of winces afterwards. He didn't mean to start flirting right off the bat. 

 

Jiejie is trying not to laugh, he can tell. 

 

“Mn,” Lan Zhan says, still out of it. Jiejie gets up and goes to offer him some water. 

 

“How are you feeling? Your energy was very low,” says Jiejie.

 

Lan Zhan seems to take stock of himself. He sways a bit, but not too precariously. Slowly, he takes the bowl of water Jiejie is now offering him. 

 

“Bad,” he says simply, and proceeds to somehow still elegantly drink his bowl despite wearing torn robes and having bags under his eyes. Life is unfair. 

 

“Well then,” Jiejie says with a smile. “I will be outside. A-Xian, call me if you need anything. I'll leave you two to talk.”

 

Wei Wuxian has the panicked urge to grab onto Jiejie’s lapels to stop her from leaving, but as it is, he just stays very, very still, and she leaves the room and closes the door behind her. 

 

Lan Zhan has finished his drink. His facial expression is very sour. 

 

“More water?” Wei Wuxian prompts softly. 

 

He nods. 

 

Wei Wuxian tries to get up, but suddenly, Lan Zhan's eyes clear, and he gets up on wobbly feet.

 

“No. I will get it,” he says, and pours himself more water from the pitcher. 

 

Wei Wuxian sighs. 

 

Once Lan Zhan has finished his second bowl of water, he looks back at Wei Wuxian and A-Yuan with a strange expression. He keeps looking at the baby, as if thinking of something. 

 

“We should probably talk,” Wei Wuxian says, resigned. 

 

“Mn,” Lan Zhan says. He looks at the baby again. 

 

There's a long silence. 

 

“Do you want to hold him again?” Wei Wuxian tentatively offers. 

 

Lan Zhan looks startled. 

 

“Again?” He asks, confused. 

 

“You don't remember last night?” Wei Wuxian says, a little alarmed. 

 

“Not… much.” 

 

Wei Wuxian should have figured. As it stands, he works off of Lan Zhan's reaction last night and offers again. That can't have been fake. Wei Wuxian won't allow it to be. 

 

“Do you want to hold him?”

 

Lan Zhan looks at them both for a long moment. His chin trembles. Then he nods. 

 

“Come sit, then,” Wei Wuxian offers, patting the space next to himself. Lan Zhan takes careful, measured steps and comes to do just that, settling carefully next to the father-son pair. He carefully offers his hands. 

 

Wei Wuxian lowers A-Yuan into them slowly, with much consideration for the baby's head. Lan Zhan's gaze is stuck on the newborn, eyes a little wider than usual. Once he's holding A-Yuan completely on his own, he brings the little creature closer to himself, cradling him to his chest. 

 

It looks adorable. Wei Wuxian feels like melting from cuteness. 

 

“Well?” He says after a long while. “What do you think? Did I do a good job?”

 

He says it with a teasing smile, but Lan Zhan looks up at him with a look , something so soft and round at the corners that it catches Wei Wuxian completely off-guard and takes his breath away. 

 

“The best job,” Lan Zhan breathes out shakily. 

 

Wei Wuxian is left stunned. He says it like he really, really means it. 

 

Then Lan Zhan's eyebrows crease.

 

“How did it go? Was it hard?”

 

Wei Wuxian quirks an eyebrow. 

 

“How did what go?”

 

“The birth.”

 

Wei Wuxian can't help the instinctual flinch that takes over his face. Lan Zhan zeroes in on it like a moth to a flame. 

 

“Not too bad!” Wei Wuxian lies. 

 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says sternly. 

 

Wei Wuxian sighs, defeated. 

 

“It was terrible. Absolutely horrific. I never want to do it again.”

 

Lan Zhan nods. 

 

“One is enough,” he says, going right back to staring at A-Yuan's little face. A-Yuan himself is staring back at him, seemingly fascinated with the other man. His little uncoordinated fists reach up to try to grab onto his hair. 

 

“Well…” Wei Wuxian interjects and then speedily cuts himself off. Not the time for family planning. Why did he say that? 

 

Lam Zhan looks up at him again, and this time, his gaze is deeply pensive. 

 

“Uncle does not want to agree to the contract.”

 

Wei Wuxian's body stills. 

 

“Ah,” he says with a gentle nod, trying not to twitch in a way that's too obvious.

 

“He was doubtful the baby even existed.”

 

“That sounds like your uncle, alright,” Wei Wuxian says. He tries to laugh about it, but it comes out more like a cough. 

 

“I know Wei Ying would not joke about it. Not when the proposal came from Madame Jiang.”

 

“Madame Yu,” Wei Wuxian speedily corrects, grimacing, hoping no one heard that, even though he knows for a fact it would be very unlikely for them to. 

 

Lan Zhan’s eyebrows furrow that teeny bit more. 

 

“Madame Yu. I apologize.”

 

Wei Ying pats him on the shoulder. 

 

“It's fine. It's a little unconventional, but, well,” Wei Wuxian shrugs. 

 

Lan Zhan doesn't say anything for a moment. Then:

 

“Wei Ying. I am sorry.”

 

Wei Wuxian startles harshly. He looks at Lan Zhan with wide eyes. 

 

“What–huh?”

 

Lan Zhan looks deeply into his eyes, sorrow peeking out of them. He cradles A-Yuan that much closer. 

 

“For… all of this. For making you do it alone.”

 

Wei Wuxian blinks furiously. He's… he's feeling a lot of things, right now. 

 

“I do not know why you didn't tell me, but I am still sorry for not proving myself trustworthy enough to…” Lan Zhan cuts himself off, looking away. 

 

It takes a moment for Wei Wuxian to understand, but when he does, he gasps. 

 

“No! Oh my god, no, Lan Zhan, I would have told you, I–”

 

He takes a gulping breath, tries to smile, and probably fails. 

 

“I, um, I didn't know. Until he was already…yeah.”

 

Lan Zhan blinks. 

 

“Oh,” he says, and blinks again. 

 

“Haha, yeah, dumb, right?”

 

Lan Zhan stares at him. Then a deep, deep sense of horror seems to take over him. Wei Wuxian scoots back a little. 

 

“Wei Ying, ” Lan Zhan says, agonized. 

 

“Yes, it was absolutely irresponsible, I know,” Wei Wuxian says a little forcefully. “But he's fine, see? He's got all his toes and fingers and–”

 

“When the birth started. You didn't know what was happening,” Lan Zhan says, stricken. 

 

Wei Wuxian grimaces. 

 

“I–ah. It could have been. It could have been worse?”

 

“ Wei Ying!”

 

The good thing is that he doesn't sound angry. The bad thing is that Lan Zhan kind of looks a little wild around the edges, now, a little panicked, and that's probably not good for his recovering core. 

 

“It's fine! Hey, hey! It's fine,” Wei Wuxian tries to get his attention. “It hurt like hell, and he tore me up good, but we're fine, see? I'm fine, A-Yuan is fine–”

 

Lan Zhan looks at A-Yuan, then back at Wei Wuxian. He still doesn't look reassured. 

 

“They say that you can bleed to death,” Lan Zhan says, looking terrified. “It's happened to multiple women in my sect–”

 

Wei Wuxian tries very, very hard not to let his eye twitch. He apparently fails, because Lan Zhan’s face absolutely crumbles. Like a cookie. A very crumbly cookie. He's started shaking. 

 

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, I'm right here,” Wei Wuxian scrambles over. “It… look, I'm not going to lie to you, it was bad. They had to replace my bed and all my sheets–”

 

Lan Zhan's shaking worsens. He looks impossibly, unhealthily stiff.

 

“But I'm fine! Listen to me, you stupid man, I have a strong core, it handled the blood loss like a champ, okay? No more panicking, none of that, let's calm down before you scare A-Yuan. Look, isn't he cute? The cutest, right? He has your eyes!”

 

Lan Zhan takes a deep breath, then another. He looks back down at A-Yuan, who lets out a sleepy yawn. His eyes are still open despite his apparent tiredness. 

 

“Adorable, yeah?” Wei Wuxian tries, rubbing Lan Zhan's shoulder soothingly. 

 

“Mhm,” he hums, trembling subsiding a little, the longer he looks at their baby. 

 

“He's going to grow up to be so handsome, right? He has your genes, of course he is!”

 

“The color,” Lan Zhan starts haltingly, “is mine, but the shape is yours.”

 

He's talking about A-Yuan's eyes. 

 

Ah.

 

“Yup,” Wei Wuxian says with a giggle in the back of his throat. “He may have me as a parent, but I'm sure you'll be able to cancel out all the ugly features, so–”

 

Lan Zhan glares at him. 

 

“Wei Ying is beautiful,” he says firmly, like it's nothing.

 

Wei Wuxian gapes. He feels his face getting hot. 

 

“Lan Zhan, you can’t just–”

 

Wei Wuxian sputters, wrongfooted. 

 

Lan Zhan reaches down to stroke the tuft of hair on A-Yuan, feeling his wispy little strands. 

 

“Does he cry a lot?” Lan Zhan asks with his deep, syrupy voice. 

 

“No, not really,” Wei Wuxian says, still recovering from Lan Zhan being Like That. He tries to calm his racing heart. “He’s very quiet. Sometimes he’ll cry if he’s grumpy, though, or if people are… yelling…”

 

Wei Wuxian shoves down the memory of being discovered by Madame Yu. It’s fine. It’s… It’s fine. 

 

“He looks healthy. I don't. I don’t know much.”

 

Lan Zan glances at him quickly, almost seeming embarrassed. 

 

“About babies,” he continues haltingly. 

 

“Oh, me either,” Wei Wuxian says, laughing. “Jiejie’s been teaching me, since girls are taught about this stuff at an early age. And she’s brought me books!”

 

Lan Zhan nods.

“May I see them?” he asks softly. 

 

Wei Wuxian grimaces.

 

“Maybe later. Once you’ve gotten a change of clothes and a bath and more sleep, you look exhausted right now,” Wei Wuxian tells him carefully. 

 

Lan Zhan nods again without argument. There's a pause.

 

“Soooo…” Wei Wuxian trails of uncertainty. “The barrier. What was that about, exactly?”

 

Lan Zhan goes stiff again. His gaze hardens. 

 

“I wanted to come right away. See the baby.”

 

Wei Wuxian nods encouragingly. 

 

Lan Zhan keeps his gaze on A-Yuan as he continues. 

 

“Uncle did not approve. I made it clear I would come anyway. I went to the Jingshi to get supplies, and Uncle shut me in without permission.”

 

Wei Wuxian presses his lips together tightly. 

 

“With a barrier?” Wei Wuxian asks, still a little disbelieving. Why would Old Man Lan put a barrier around his nephew's home? 

 

“I forgot. That it was there. I should have checked.”

 

Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows crease. 

 

“Lan Zhan, I don’t understand. Your family has wards around your house that only they can activate?”

 

Lan Zhan nods, tense. 

 

“Why?” Wei Wuxian finally asks. 

 

It makes no sense. Lan Zhan is a good, model disciple and an even better second heir. He’s peerless. It seems like overkill to have those sorts of precautions in case he ever goes rogue.

 

“The Jingshi. It used to be my mother's.”

 

Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows raise. 

 

“... Okay,” he says, not really liking where this is going.

 

“She was not allowed to leave her home. My Uncle said she committed a crime, an unforgivable one. My father married her to save her life, but her punishment was to be imprisoned there forever. Brother and I would only get to see her once a month.”

 

Wei Wuxian takes a second to process. He is, frankly, appalled. 

 

“Wait,” Wei Wuxian says, piecing it all together. “So they would keep your mom imprisoned with the wards that your Uncle…”

 

Lan Zhan nods tightly. 

 

“I should have checked,” he says softly, almost a whisper. It sounds heartbreakingly tiny. “When I moved in. I should have checked they were gone.”

 

Wei Wuxian can only gape.

 

“Found a weak point, but the wards were very strong. Mother was very strong. They had to be able to hold her inside. Maybe she didn’t have a core like mine…”

 

This is the first time Wei Wuxian has ever heard Lan Zhan trail off in his life. 

 

Lan Zhan bounces A-Yuan lightly, stroking his little head with his thumb and holding it with his palm. 

 

“It took some time to find the weakness, and I had to wait until dark. I do not know if it had an alarm in case it was to be broken. I just ran.”

 

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Wuxian says, then swallows. What the absolute fuck ? They locked him in the home that his mother had also been imprisoned in. Did Lan Xichen know about this? Wei Wuxian was finding it hard to believe he hadn’t.

 

“Wait,” he says. “Your sword. Lan Zhan, what happened to it? Were you too drained to fly?”

 

Lan Zhan shakes his head, and Wei Wuxian’s stomach sinks further. 

 

“Uncle took it. I said I would come without it. He said we would see.”

 

Lan Zhan closes his eyes tightly. 

 

“I was a fool.”

 

Wei Wuxian’s heart breaks into a thousand little pieces. 

 

“Lan Zhan, no ! How would you know this was going to happen?!”

 

“I should have guessed,” Lan Zhan says in a huff. “Uncle did not have a good reaction to the news.”

 

“I’m not going to let you blame yourself because of something that wasn’t in your control,” Wei Wuxian says firmly, furiously. 

 

Lan Zhan looks up at him. His eyes are sad. 

 

“Wei Ying, I am still sorry.”

 

Wei Wuxian sighs. 

 

“Lan Zhan–”

 

“I have shamed you and ruined your reputation.”

 

“Wha–I’m–ruined my reputation?” Wei Wuxian sputters, outraged. 

 

Lan Zhan nods miserably.

 

“Lan Zhan, you can’t be serious,” Wei Wuxian says. “If anyone's reputation is ruined, it’s yours! Everyone knows I’m the most shameless man to ever exist, you–you’re–you’re literally perfect! They call you and Lan-gongzi the Twin Jades of Lan! That’s how perfect you are!”

 

Lan Zhan looks a little exasperated, then. 

 

“I am still sorry,” he repeats again, a little like a broken record. 

 

“Well, don’t be,” Wei Wuxian says, harrumphing. “A-Yuan is literally the best baby ever. It must be the Lan genes.”

 

Lan Zhan looks at A-Yuan. 

 

“He is very handsome. He must get it from Wei Ying.”

 

Wei Wuxian, again, feels a blush spreading across his cheeks. It's humiliating. 

 

“Lan Zhaaaan, you can’t say that,” he says, hiding his face. 

 

“It is the truth,” Lan Zhan reinforces somberly. 

 

“You are such a liar!” Wei Wuxian whines. 

 

“Lying is forbidden,” is Lan Zhan’s only response. 

 

When Wei Wuxian looks at him again, he’s treated to the sight of Lan Zha carefully lifting A-Yuan to see his face. He supports his head and booty wonderfully, bringing him closer. A-Yuan seems a bit put off at first, but then reaches out to put his hands on Lan Zhan’s nose. He’s an unusually aware baby. 

 

Then–

 

Then Lan Zhan brings his little forehead closer to his mouth and plants the gentlest, sweetest kiss on it. He brings A-Yuan back down onto his lap and stares at him with such emotion that Wei Wuxian, frankly, wants to straight up start sobbing just witnessing it. 

 

Lan Zhan glances at him and then looks a little startled. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, now looking uncertain. “I should have asked–”

 

“No,” Wei Wuxian says, trying to hold back tears. “No, it's fine, Lan Zhan, don’t worry, that's not–ugh,” Wei Wuxian covers his face again, muffling his choked-up voice. “Give me a second. Just…”

 

“Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan coaxes softly, sounding concerned. 

 

“I just–” Wei Wuxian says haltingly. He brings his hands back down. “I just… I was so…”

 

He swallows, and tears start to roll down his face without his permission. He wipes them away quickly. 

 

“I was scared you wouldn’t like him. And I would have understood, because he kind of came out of nowhere, and–”

 

“Wei Ying , ” Lan Zhan says, stricken.

 

“And we’re not together, you don’t even like me–”

 

“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan exclaims, sounding unfairly shocked, and Wei Wuxian can’t stop, now that the words are erupting from his chest. 

 

“--but he’s such a good baby, Lan Zhan, he’s such a good baby and he has your eyes, and I–how was I going to explain when he was older, y’know? And I shouldn’t have doubted you, because you’re so good , of course you would love him, of course you’d want to see him, and–”

 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says forcefully. “Wei Ying, stop.”

 

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian says, sniffling. “I’m sorry–”

 

Lan Zhan shakes his head. Then he scoots closer and takes Wei Wuxian into his arms. 

 

Wei Wuxian can’t breathe. 

 

Lan Zhan is only clutching at him with one hand because the other is still propping A-Yuan up. The baby is sandwiched between them, but he’s not fussing, so they must not be squishing him too much. Lan Zhan pushes Wei Wuxian’s head into the crook of his neck, and Wei Wuxian feels his own go limp at this. He can’t help himself; he reaches out with his own arms and clutches at Lan Zhan’s torn robes, cocooning himself around him, grabbing onto anything he can hold. 

 

He can smell Lan Zhan’s scent. It’s made of sweat, from probably running all the way here from the Cloud Recesses, and the barest hints of sandalwood. He smells like dust; he smells like earth. He smells like the man Wei Wuxian is in love with. 

 

Wei Wuxian cries into his shoulder. Not very loudly, because he does have some grace, but he’s still very aware of the fact that he’s soaking Lan Zhan’s shoulder with his tears. He’s a little embarrassed.

 

Finally, after long moments of just Wei Wuxian’s sniffing and quiet cries, Lan Zhan pulls back to look him in the face. 

 

“Wei Wing,” he says clearly, like the sound of a Jiang bell ringing in the night. “Let's get married.”

 

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widen comically. 

 

“What?”

 

Lan Zhan chases his hand, curling his fingers between Wei Wuxian’s. 

 

“It does not matter what my Uncle will say. We have a child; he cannot stop us. Let us get married.”

 

“I–Lan Zhan,” he says with a deflated, empty smile. “I would never force you to–”

 

“Not force,” Lan Zhan says fiercely. “Never force. Wei Ying, when I found out you had given birth… I was very scared.”

 

Wei Wuxian goes silent, unable to speak, and Lan Zhan proceeds to bear his soul to him. The Lan brings A-Yuan to his chest and curls his large palm over his back, rubbing soothingly.

 

“I was confused,” he acknowledges, “but also scared. I have many shijie and shimei who have died in childbirth. Some, even after surviving, take months to recover. I do not know the logistics,” he breathes out carefully, “but the letter did not specify if you were well or not. Or if A-Yuan was born healthy, or whole.”

 

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says softly, sadly. 

 

“The first time I met you, I confess,” Lan Zhan says, and then he looks away, the tips of his ears turning a deep shade of red. “That I fell, quite simply, madly in love with you.”

 

Wei Wuxian gapes.

 

He has no words for a moment. 

 

“That has to be a lie.”

 

Lan Zhan looks back at him, and Wei Wuxian is caught by the utter sincerity in his eyes. 

 

“It is not.”

 

Wei Wuxian really wishes he could get up and pace right now. As it is, he begins furiously tapping the bed cushions with a finger. 

 

“No, no way,” Wei Wuxian continues, agitated. “You–you got mad at me for sneaking alcohol! You looked mad! We literally fought!”

 

Lan Zhan nods. 

 

“I will never forget that spar. I will remember it until the end of my days.”

 

Wei Wuxian wants to throttle him.

 

“We were barely friends! Were we friends?” Wei Wuxian turns to Lan Zhan suddenly, watching for his confirmation. 

 

Lan Zhan looks a little annoyed at him. He looks at the baby, then back at Wei Wuxian. His expression is very deadpan.

 

“Well–okay, sometimes to fuck you don’t need to be friends–”

 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan scolds very seriously. “There is a baby. Do not curse.”

 

Wei Wuxian huffs.

 

“Lan Zhan! You don’t have to say you’re in love with me just because we–just because A-Yuan–” Wei Wuxian cuts himself off, throwing his hands in the air in irritation.

 

“Don’t lie!” he finally spits out. 

 

“Lying is forbidden,” Lan Zhan says simply. He almost looks smug.

 

“You–”

 

Wei Wuxian groans in frustration.

 

“You do not have to like me back,” Lan Zhan says, avoiding his gaze. 

 

“Oh my god, do not.”

 

“I will understand,” Lan Zhan says, still not looking at him. 

 

“Lan Wangji, you cannot be serious! You cannot say that you’re in love with me and then say, in the saddest voice, ‘I will understand’; what is that!? Of course, I love you back! I was tearing my hair out at the thought of you not wanting to marry me, or not wanting A-Yuan–you are literally the most handsome man I have ever met, we literally had sex! There is a child! In your arms! It’s our child! ”

 

Lan Zhan has snapped to look at him halfway through Wei Wuxian’s shoddy confession, eyes glowing in the candlelight (Jiejie had lit some before Lan Zhan had woken). He looks like a starving man having been offered a banquet full of food. 

 

“You’re ridiculous! I cannot–” Wei Wuxian continues, and is cut off.

 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says, and caresses Wei Wuxian’s hand with his thumb. 

 

“Stop being sweet! I’m scolding you!”

 

Lan Zhan nods, following his current, but he’s clearly hiding a smile, the thing tucked subtly in the corner of his mouth. Wei Wuxian loves him. He loves him. 

 

“Wei Ying,” he breathes, voice full of wonder, of elation, “marry me.”

 

A knot gets caught in Wei Wuxian’s throat.

 

“You’ll get tired of me,” he chokes out, beginning to cry again. “Lan Zhan, I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you hated me.”

 

“I will not. I will never. Wei Ying, marry me.”

 

Wei Wuxian throws himself into Lan Zhan’s arms, on the other side of A-Yuan. He buries his face into Lan Zhan’s neck. 

 

“You ridiculous, ridiculous– ” Lan Zhan’s hand begins to rub circles onto Wei Wuxian’s back. It’s not fair. How is he supposed to say no to this?

 

“You better get me some nice robes,” Wei Wuxian chokes out. “And the best wine. You have more money than me, and I’m marrying into your family; I need a dowry.”

 

“You will have the best robes,” Lan Zhan says soothingly. “I will get you Emperor's Smile. We will stay here, if you wish.”

 

Wei Wuxian makes a truly ugly sound, clutching Lan Zhan tighter. 

 

“You can’t say that,” he moans as if in pain. He feels elated. Absolutely, positively elated.

 

“Your shijie is here, and your brother. They have been helping you?”

 

Wei Wuxian hums brokenly in agreement.

 

“Then we will stay,” Lan Zhan says, like it’s nothing.

 

Wei Wuxian is going to spontaneously combust. 

 

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian says then, absolutely dripping with emotion. “Yes, okay, let's get married. Of course, I want to marry you, Lan Zhan. I love you so much.” Wei Wuxian sobs.

 

Lan Zhan tilts Wei Wuxian's head back with a gentle hand and kisses him. 

 

Wei Wuxian leans in, pressing their lips tightly together. It feels like the first sips of water after a drought. He lets out a small whimper as his head starts to fall back with the weight of Lan Zhan's ferocious kiss. 

 

It feels like sealing the deal, a promise cemented with a long overdue act of love. Their futures had been intertwined the moment they had borne A-Yuan, the moment they had first glimpsed each other under the moonlight, but here, this moment, is when they chose to be tied together. The kiss is the acceptance of their connection, the all-encompassing exhilaration of reciprocated love and engagement. 

 

We're gonna be the love match of the century, Wei Wuxian thinks to himself, feeling a little unhinged. It's not every day a guy's dreams come true like this. Lan Zhan might not even like him in a year. 

 

Wei Wuxian is willing to do this anyway. He'll ride this wave as long as it lasts. 

 

They detach their mouths, and Wei Wuxian takes puffs of air, out of breath. They're so good at kissing. 

 

He leans his head on Lan Zhan's broad shoulder. Lan Zhan takes his free arm and wraps it around Wei Wuxian. The warmth of his body is, frankly, driving Wei Wuxian a little insane. He loves it. He wants to stay here forever. 

 

Then A-Yuan starts fussing, and Wei Wuxian lets out a deep sigh. 

 

Lan Zhan looks a little panicked, and it makes Wei Wuxian let out this bright, happy laugh, something he hasn't heard from himself ever since this whole situation started. 

 

“A-Yuan, baobei, come on, don't make things difficult for your A-Die,” Wei Wuxian coos and goes to take the baby. Lan Zhan looks a little heartbroken, having to give him back, and Wei Wuxian feels his heart squeeze. He winks at him. 

 

“He's just hungry. I'll give him back once he's eaten,” Wei Wuxian tells him.

 

Lan Zhan nods, and then his face does a little spasm of something when Wei Wuxian opens his robes and pops a “breast” out. 

 

Wei Wuxian catches his expression and grins. 

 

“What's that look for?”

 

Lan Zhan looks away sharply, ears once again crimson. Wei Wuxian can't help but laugh again. 

 

There's a knock on the door. Jiejie peeks her head in a second later, smiling widely. 

 

“A-Xian, Lan-er-gongnzi,” she says, walking in with a tray of food. ”I hope you've been able to have a good conversation while I was away?”

 

“Jiejie! Did you go cook for us? I have to find a way to pay you back, you're spoiling me!”

 

Jiejie's response to Wei Wuxian's demeanor is a blinding beam. 

 

“My A-Xian deserves it. He's only three after all,” she says, and comes over to set the tray down. 

 

It's wontons in a broth. Jiejie is probably trying to stop Wei Wuxian from overdosing on lotus root and pork rib soup. Wei Wuxian is just happy to have food to eat at all and doesn't complain too much. 

 

Jiejie serves two bowls and hands them out to Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan, respectively. Lan Zhan seems surprised to be offered some, but he bows his head at Jiejie in appreciation. 

 

“I brought the chillies separately,” she tells the Lan heir gently. “A-Xian said you prefer milder dishes.”

 

Wei Wuxian watches a flash of vulnerability pass through Lan Zhan's face. It's almost imperceptible, of course, but he sees it. 

 

“Thank you, Maiden Jiang,” Lan Zhan says courteously, and takes his food. 

 

Wei Wuxian takes his as well and dumps the entirety of the chilli oil and fresh pepper mix Jiejie had garnished to the side into his bowl. He does it one-handed; that's how desperate he is for food. 

 

“So,” Jiejie says as they begin to eat. “I take it you talked?”

 

Wei Wuxian gives her a nervous smile. 

 

“Mhm,” he says as he sips some of the broth in his bowl. 

 

“Good,” Jiejie says, nodding. “Am I welcoming a new brother-in-law into the household, perhaps?”

 

Lan Zhan peers at Wei Wuxian subtly, and Wei Wuxian may be imagining it, but again, Lan Zhan seems a little smug. 

 

“Mn,” Lan Zhan confirms with a composed nod. 

 

Jiejie's face goes through many emotions. All of them are positive. The biggest one is just… joy. Jiejie looks painfully, painfully happy for him. 

 

“That's wonderful,” she says, a little choked up. She looks at Wei Wuxian. There are tears in her eyes. 

 

“Jiejie?” Wei Wuxian says, a little alarmed now. He adjusts A-Yuan in preparation to get up and go comfort his sister. 

 

“No, they're happy tears,” she reassures, wiping away the beading droplets begging to roll down her face. “You deserve this, A-Xian. This is a love match?”

 

Leave it to Jiejie to ask the big sister mature questions. 

 

“Absolutely,” Wei Wuxian says, starting to get excited. It's just like he and his parents probably always wanted. No arranged marriage shenanigans. 

 

“Mn,” Lan Zhan hums again, and this time there's a smile openly on his face. Wei Wuxian wants to draw it, to immortalize it forever. His memory is just going to have to do. 

 

“Congratulations,” Jiejie says wetly. She's smiling so hard it must hurt. She looks at Wei Wuxian with a look full of such fierce love that Wei Wuxian feels like he's going to be swept away by it like a water current. Then Jiejie gets up and rushes over, pulling Wei Wuxian in a hug.

 

“I told you,” she whispers fiercely in his ear. 

 

Wei Wuxian feels his own tears beginning to gather. She was right. He should have listened. 

 

“You did,” he says tightly, burying his face into her hair. 

 

She pulls back, still beaming. 

 

“Now Jiang Cheng doesn't have to cause a diplomatic incident by killing the Lan Clan’s second heir. A perfect solution!”

 

Lan Zhan looks a little unnerved at that, but just sips another ladle-full of soup and doesn't comment.

 

A-Yuan finally finishes feeding, as denoted by him spitting out Wei Wuxian's nipple and popping a cute little bubble. Lan Zhan zeroes in on him immediately and puts his almost finished bowl down to reach over. 

 

Wei Wuxian lets out a little pftt and bundles up A-Yuan. Lan Zhan takes him in his arms and settles him gently, rocking him back and forth. 

 

“You should see if you can lull him to sleep,” Wei Wuxian says, a little besotted at the sight of his now-betrothed with their baby. 

 

Lan Zhan nods seriously and repositions A-Yuan to begin patting his back. It works as a soothing technique as well as, of course, burping the little thing. 

 

Jiejie's eyes are glowing. She glances over to Wei Wuxian with a knowing look. Wei Wuxian smiles at her sheepishly. He knows, now, never to doubt his sister in the future. 

 

Jiejie begins to open her mouth; just as she's about to speak, however, Jiang Cheng bursts into the room. Even A-Yuan startles.

 

Jiang Cheng bristles at the sight of Lan Zhan awake, but says nothing towards him, instead addressing the room as a whole. 

 

“We have a problem,” he says, sounding uncharacteristically tense. 

 

“What is it?” Jiejie says tersely. 

 

“The Lans are here.”

 

Notes:

Okay, so.... this is the last of my prewritten chapters. As of now I am going in blind. Chapter 7 is still a WIP, but should be coming soon. Good thing is that my Mexico trip was canceled, so hopefully it helps get things done sooner XDDD

The boys finally talked! Look at them gooooo they're both the biggest saps I swear, Also sorry for that cliff hanger but ah. Not sorry 😁😁😁

Tell me what you liked! What was your favorite part? Mine was Lan Zhan giving his baby a lil smooch 😭

Chapter 7: Confrotations

Summary:

The Lan delegation is here. Jiang Yanli has something to say about that.

Wangxian continues to be sappy, of course.

Notes:

Y'all idk what I'm doing anymore, just take the chapter. It's like 3,000 words of Madame Yu and Lan Qiren yelling at each other and Jiang Yanli cutting in here and there to direct things in her favor. Oh, and also Lan Xichen questioning his sanity. Go for it!

“We need to hide Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian says sharply as soon as his blood is done freezing in his veins. “Lan Zhan–

 

“Where are we supposed to put him!? The whole sect is walking around right now, operations don’t stop until nine!” Jiang Cheng snaps, arms waving in aggravation.

 

Wei Wuxian brings his thumb to his mouth, biting a finger as he thinks desperately for a solution to their predicament. There is nowhere to hide Lan Zhan in the room provided by the healing pavilion, and it's a miracle he hadn’t been caught sneaking in in the first place. Their options are painfully limited. 

 

“Perhaps if we said A-Xian wanted to go back to his rooms and wanted privacy…” Jiang Yanli suggests, brows furrowed. 

 

“No one is going to believe that,” Wei Wuxian says, panicking. “Everyone knows I'm absolutely shameless!” 

 

A lifetime of senseless flirting and breaking rules has come to bite him in the ass!

 

“It's different when it's a baby,” Jiang Cheng says, but doesn't sound the most certain. 

 

“Perhaps we can hide him in an empty infirmary room,” Jiang Yanli throws out. 

 

“The healers will find him almost immediately! People get injured all the fucking time in this sect!” Jiang Cheng refutes.

 

Wei Wuxian growls in frustration. 

 

“There has to be something! He just got here, the Lans can't drag him away like this when he just met A-Yuan; he said Lan Qiren doesn't want to agree to the marriage contract, we need time to elope!” It’s ridiculous that the Lans have arrived so soon; they barely gave them time to breathe. Lan Zhan barely just held his own son!

 

Jiang Cheng turns to him, furious.

 

“What eloping!? Wei Wuxian, if you're getting married, you're going to do it in our sect! With a ceremony!”

 

Wei Wuxian makes a little offended noise. Seriously? Lan Zhan and he have a whole child!

 

He glances at said Lan, wanting to see if perhaps he had any suggestions, but his eyes widen when he sees him. 

 

Lan Zhan is not looking at anyone, exactly. He's gripping A-Yuan tightly (not enough to hurt, the baby is still fine) and staring off into space. He looks very… pale. 

 

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian calls out to him, startled. 

 

“No,” he says, his eyes distant. It’s weird. It’s like he’s looking through him, through the room. His mind seems far away. “They cannot take me.”

 

Wei Wuxian feels his heart begin to beat out of his chest. 

 

He's never seen Lan Zhan like this. Ever. 

 

“Lan Zhan,” he says again, hesitant, then rushes over, caring of his own constitution, and grips his shoulder. “Lan Zhan, hey. Lan Zhan, baobei, come back, please.”

 

He tries to touch him gently. Lan Zhan is completely rigid under Wei Wuxian's grasp.

 

“They cannot take me ,” Lan Zhan says, voice tiny. “I won't let them. ”

 

Wei Wuxian is gripped by a sudden jagged feeling, seeing Lan Zhan so openly… afraid . 

 

He does the only thing he can. He takes Lan Zhan's face in his hands and kisses him. He hears Jiang Cheng make an indignant noise in the background but pays it no mind, too busy trying to ground Lan Zhan back into reality. 

 

When they resurface, Lan Zhan is staring straight into his eyes. His golden orbs are glassy.

 

“It's going to be okay, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says sweetly, coaxing, trying to work through his own doubts and worries. “We'll figure it out.”

 

Lan Zhan glances down at A-Yuan. He looks back at Wei Wuxian with a beseeching expression. 

 

“Please don't take him away from me,” Lan Zhan says, and his tone is pleading . 

 

Wei Wuxian stomps down the urge to kill someone. Multiple someones. He needs to keep it together right now.

 

“You can hold him!” Wei Wuxian says encouragingly. “That's fine! Let's just stay here in the present while you do that, yeah?”

 

Lan Zhan nods weakly. His arms are trembling minutely. 

 

Wei Wuxian turns to his siblings, ready to start figuring out an escape route, but his gaze catches on Jiang Yanli. She's staring at them with angry eyes. Wei Wuxian freezes. 

 

“No hiding,” she says suddenly, firm. 

 

Wei Wuxian realizes she's not mad at them, but… perhaps mad for them. 

 

“Jiejie,” Jiang Cheng warns, but he's powerless here. This is their sister's domain. 

 

“A-Cheng,” Jiejie says coldly. She fixes her posture. Wei Wuxian abruptly remembers that Jiang Yanli, as part of her studies, had grown very interested in strategy. 

 

She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply. 

 

“Let's go welcome our guests.”

 

Wei Wuxian lights some incense for the visiting Lan delegation in his heart. 

 

They shouldn't have tried to win a war against their enemy in their home territory. 

 

That's just strategy one-o-one. 

 

—

 

Lan Xichen is losing his mind. He's sure of it. 

 

The last five days have been absolutely insane. He's pinched himself more than once, trying to wake himself from this nightmare. 

 

Uncle may be satisfied living in his delusional little world, where Wangji is a prim and proper disciple and would never sire a child out of the bonds of marriage, but Lan Xichen knows better. Lan Xichen found the research about the effects of Ziji relationships on male couples a long, long time ago, long before Wei Wuxian ever stepped foot into the Cloud Recesses. He knows the way Wangji looks at Wei-gongzi; he has seen it with his own eyes. 

 

He should have known Uncle would try something. He hadn't been expecting him to lock Wangji away with the same wards that had imprisoned Wangji’s and Lan Xichen’s mother. 

 

Uncle is standing before him now, posture ramrod straight, clearly incensed and furious to all hell. That’s fine. Right now, Lan Xichen can’t bring himself to care, can’t bring himself to try and bridge that divide, to calm him down. He has other priorities. Soothing Uncle is the least of his worries. The verification of the existence of Wangji and Wei Wuxian's potential offspring is the least of his worries. Right now, he needs to make sure his brother is alive.

 

(When Uncle had found the ruined remains of the barrier around the Jingshi, while Lan Xichen had looked on in horror, Uncle had turned pale.

 

“They were supposed to be indestructible,” he'd hissed.

 

It had spoken to Wangji's incredible ability… and desperation. Lan Xichen knew what wards like these did to those who crossed them.

 

Wangji had destroyed the barrier, potentially at the cost of his own life.)

 

Lan Xichen looks at Madame Yu. She’s glaring at them. She is clearly not happy that they are here. 

 

“I do not remember inviting you to visit, Lan-zongzhu ,” Madame Yu says with a snarl permanently etched into her features, clearly directed at Lan Xichen’s Uncle. “This is quite rude for the main family of one of the five great sects. Showing up unannounced? At such a late hour?”

 

Lan Xichen bows deeply to her. He hopes the entourage of accompanying Lan disciples is also bowing behind him. He truly, truly hopes so.

 

“Madame Jiang,” he cuts in, before his Uncle can put his foot in his big, old mouth. “I deeply apologize. The Lan sect means no offense. Our arrival is a matter of urgency.”

 

He's decided to call her Madame Jiang to pay respect to her position as wife of the Jiang sect leader. Everyone knows that in her home, she is called Madame Yu by her disciples, but in Discussion Conferences, she is always called Madame Jiang. 

 

Someone like Lan Xichen, who has been trained in diplomacy his whole life, can clearly see why. It is to cement her children's claim to the Jiang line and keep the Jiang’s reputation intact. It wouldn't do to show division publicly, despite it already being common knowledge that it is present behind closed doors. 

 

“I hope you mean that you are here to negotiate the upcoming marriage contract we are due, and that that is the matter of so-called urgency,” Madame Yu says, turning to him and glaring daggers. 

 

Lan Xichen wants to sink into the ground. As it is, he keeps his head bowed. 

 

“Not so,” Lan Xichen starts, trying hard to keep himself composed, but Uncle has had enough. 

 

“There will be no marriage contract,” He says darkly. 

 

A lot of emotions pass through Madame Yu’s face. Lan Xichen is able to pick out indignation, offense, and heavy, heavy disappointment.

 

“So Lan Wangji, one of your Twin Jades, cannot be bothered to take responsibility, I see,” she says coldly. 

 

“Wangji has no say on the matter. I will not allow the Lans to be made a fool,” Lan Qiren barks. 

 

Lan Xichen wants to scream. He’s going to. He feels it bubbling up. Like always, he stomps it down. 

 

“We can discuss this later,” Lan Xichen tries, hoping desperately to steer this conversation away from these dangerous waters. “We are not here for a marriage contract; we are here looking for my brother.”

 

“Xichen,” Lan Qiren barks furiously. He probably sees this as exposing their family business to outsiders. Lan Xichen doesn’t care. He has to believe Wangji is here, because if he isn’t, he’s… probably dead. 

 

He refuses to think of that right now. 

 

Madame Yu's eyes narrow. 

 

“Looking… for your brother, Lan Wangji?”

 

“Yes,” Lan Xichen says, trying not to swallow, to end up showing weakness. “He has gone missing about a day ago. We have not been able to locate him. We are here to ask if you have seen him or know of his whereabouts.”

 

Madame Yu’s face turns the darkest he’s ever seen it. 

 

“Are you telling me,” she says slowly, “that he ran away?”

 

“Wangji would not run away,” Lan Qiren says sharply. Uncle is clearly in denial about the whole situation and probably not very trustworthy, however, so Lan Xichen rushes to clarify.

 

“There were complications. Family matters. He did not run away from the baby, however. Madame Jiang, please, if he’s not here, then I fear he may be…”

 

His chin wants to tremble. He doesn’t let it, but he does avert his eyes, trying to keep himself together. 

 

“Family matters?” Madame Yu drawls out, looking doubtful and put upon. 

 

They don't get a chance to say more because Sect Leader Jiang comes out from the entrance to the Lotus Pier complex, smiling tightly at the corners. Madame Yu sees him and glares.

 

“It took you long enough,” she snaps. She looks highly unhappy to see him. 

 

“I apologize for my tardiness,” Jiang Fengmian says with a smile. He hides his displeasure better than Madame Yu, but he’s also not very glad to be receiving them, as denoted by the intricacies of his body language. Lan Xichen knows they're intruding, and he hates it too. He has to do this, though. He has to. 

 

“They’re not here for negotiations,” Madame Yu spits at him. “Wipe that expression from your face.”

Jiang Fengmian relaxes a little, but still doesn’t untense all the way. He turns to Lan Qiren with a smile. 

 

“He did not agree?” he says, like it’s a joke, like Lan Wangji is a little kid deciding he doesn’t like shaved ice. 

 

“I made the decision for him,” Lan Qiren says stiffly. 

 

Jiang Fengmian nods.

 

“I see. It is logical. I fear your boy would be too rigid for our A-Xian.”

 

Madame Yu looks positively incensed. 

 

“ Your head disciple is too immature, too uncouth, and too undisciplined for my Wangji, and I consider the methods in which you approached marriage negotiations between a frankly horrid pairing below the professionalism and standards that a main family like yours should adhere to!” Uncle says, seething. His face is turning red in rage. 

 

Madame Yu zeroes in on him, calculating. 

 

“Excuse me?” she says slowly, clearly sensing the response to her words is going to be one she doesn’t like. 

 

“ Wangji ,” Uncle says fiercely, “would never sire a child like this, and the universe would not give him a Ziji like Wei Wuxian!”

 

There’s a shocked silence at the declaration. Lan Xichen feels like running in the opposite direction; he senses danger. 

 

“You do not believe the baby exists?” says an incredulous voice. Everyone looks behind the Jiang sect leader and his wife to see Jiang Yanli walking towards them, Jiang Wanyin behind her. 

 

Jiang Yanli maneuvers herself around her parents, coming to stand directly in front of the Lan delegation. 

 

“You cannot mean this, Lan-zongzhu,” she says softly, diplomatically. Lan Xichen can still hear the dangerous edge hidden in her voice. “You know us, the Jiangs, would never lie about something like this.”

 

She stands tall and proper, and her eyes dare Uncle to contradict her. 

 

Unfortunately, Uncle does not care about propriety right now. He sees Jiang Yanli as just another enemy. 

 

“You cannot honestly expect me to believe that you people did not notice a coming child, that you would not have notified us before the apparent birth! Your letter made it quite clear we are not to see the baby until our clans are bound by an engagement! How convenient for the Jiangs!”

 

“It is a reasonable precaution!” Madame Yu seethes, not happy at being accused of being predatory towards another clan. “Our head disciple should not be forced to entertain a family he has no official ties to until they have made a clear commitment to binding descendence!"

 

Lan Xichen cares very little for the ongoing argument. 

 

“Please, Madame Jiang, Sect Leader Jiang–”

 

“We should at least receive some proof before missives like this are sent! Before you stir people up!”

 

Lan Xichen closes his eyes in frustration. 

 

He knows exactly what Uncle is talking about. Wangji had been in the room when they had received Madame Yu’s communication; there had been no hiding it from him. When Uncle had turned a truly concerning puce color, while Lan Xichen had gone to assess whether he was about to have a medical emergency, Wangji had (uncharacteristically) taken the letter Uncle had been holding. 

 

Lan Xichen doesn’t remember much after that. When Uncle had finally recovered enough to snatch it from him, Wangji had already been running out the door. 

 

“Your second heir is the one who has defiled our disciple and left him with child! Due to extenuating circumstances, we have extended grace and allowed for negotiations instead of exposing you to the cultivation world for your nephews' incorrigible behavior!”

 

“How dare you!” Uncle roars, sputtering. “My Wangji is perfect in every way! You would smear his reputation over the word of your wayward disciple!?”

 

“Wei Wuxian is not to be insulted,” Jiang Yanli says firmly. “He has done nothing wrong. He’s the one who’s suffered the most from this situation. A-Xian did not realize he was with child until he was already bringing him into the world.”

 

Out of everyone, Jiang Yanli seems the most collected and the most levelheaded. Not even Sect Leader Jiang has a leg up over her–he seems too dazed, too swayable. 

 

“You honestly expect me to believe that!?” Uncle snaps furiously. 

 

“He did not show. A-Xian also has a habit of hiding injuries and sickness. He is a man who thought, until proven otherwise, that men cannot bear children in any circumstance.” Jiang Yanli is starting to sound a bit cross now, glaring slightly. “I, as a daughter, have been extensively trained in childcare and childbirth. A-Xian is a son of the Jiang. He was not given the proper education to recognize what was happening to him.”

 

“A ward,” Madame Yu spits. “Not son.”

 

Jiang Yanli ignores her. Her expression stays perfectly in place. 

 

“Then the father must be someone else!” Uncle says, still in denial. 

 

“My brother said it was Lan Wangji,” Jiang Yanli says, “and my brother would not lie.”

 

“Wei Wuxian does nothing but lie!” Uncle says, still set on his perceptions and beliefs. 

 

This is when Jiang Cheng finally steps in. He steps over to his sister's side and glowers. 

 

“My brother isn’t a liar, and whoever claims that he is will lose their hand!”

 

“You dare threaten your elder!?” 

 

“Enough,” Sect Leader Jiang suddenly declares. He’s no longer smiling. He closes his eyes and sighs. “Wei Wuxian is not a liar. Not about serious things. Please do not insult our Head Disciple.”

 

He pastes a smile back on. It is the most disingenuous one Lan Xichen has ever seen from the Jiang Sect Leader. 

 

“It is clear to me that the boys are not compatible, and in this, I see you agree,” He directs towards Uncle. “I say we get the newborn registered in our family books, you have him as a spare heir if you ever need one, we keep him and have him raised here, and we call it a day,” he offers in what he perhaps thinks is gracefulness. He’s clearly still at least trying to protect his head disciple’s reputation, which is worth some points in Lan Xichen’s mind, but Lan Xichen can’t help but be uncomfortable at the erasure of Wangji’s role in the child's life. 

 

“You ask me to legitimize a child we have no proof even originates from our clan!?” Uncle says, still painfully offended. 

 

This has gone on long enough. 

 

“We can discuss this later!” Lan Xichen finally breaks into the conversation, panic starting to show. “My brother is missing! We are here to ask if you have seen him. Please, Sect Leader Jiang, Madame Yu, Maiden Jiang, Young Master Jiang, have you seen my brother !?”

 

There is a pause as everyone looks at him. The Jiang siblings glance at each other subtly. Jiang Fengmian seems lost, confused, smile uncertain. Madame Yu rolls her eyes.

 

She huffs. 

 

“No,” she says finally, tone dark, eyes glaring. “We have not seen your brother. If you are not here to pay the Jiang our due, then get out!”

 

Lan Xichen stares at her for a moment. He looks at the other Jiangs; Jiang Yanli has a closed-off expression, staring straight at him. Jiang Cheng is grimacing. Jiang Fengmian looks apologetic, but still unerringly, infuriatingly distant. 

 

Lan Xichen’s chest sinks. 

 

“I see,” he says, trying not to let his voice shake. “Thank you for your time.”

 

He turns to go. He avoids the gazes of the rest of the Lan delegation. 

 

The worst has happened. 

 

If Wangji hadn’t made it to his destination… Wangji would have clawed his way here at any cost. Lan Xichen knows it in his heart. The fact that he did not make it hear speaks… volumes. 

 

There is a problem that stops him from advancing any further, however. 

 

Uncle hasn’t budged. 

 

When Lan Xichen turns to look at him, he does not look distressed. He just looks that bit angrier. 

 

“The Jiang,” he hisses, “continue to lie. How shameless.”

 

“Uncle,” Lan Xichen finally snaps himself, patience gone. “Stop. You heard them. If Wangji isn’t here, then he’s–”

 

Lan Xichen cuts himself off, taking a breath to sustain himself. 

 

“Lies!” Uncle declares.

 

“You know as well as I do that Wangji would have gotten here at any cost!” Lan Xichen says sharply at him, finally showing his upset at the situation. 

 

“Lan-gongzi,” Jiang Yanli says suddenly, looking closely at him. “You both seem distressed at the prospect of your brother not being found here. What is the alternative to his absence, exactly?”

 

Lan Xichen smiles weakly. 

 

“Please do not concern yourself with us, Maiden Jiang. I apologize for bringing all of this chaos to your doorstep.”

 

“Apology tentatively accepted,” Jiang Yanli says cautiously, stepping closer to him. “I do not appreciate your sudden arrival, as my brother needs stability and calm at this time, but I did not realize your brother had gone missing. You are treating the situation like… like he’s…”

 

She trails off, brows furrowed, gaze observant. 

 

Lan Xichen cannot cry now. Crying is for closed doors. Crying is for when he goes to the Jingshi and seals it once more, or maybe burns it down. Both of the people who have lived there have died unfairly; it is only that blasted buildings due. 

 

“My brother,” Lan Xichen finally says, tired, “expended a lot of energy before going missing. He made it very clear he wanted to come here, to Lotus Pier.”

 

Lan Xichen looks away, shaking his head, trying to clear it.

“He wanted to come see the baby.”

 

There's a long stretch of silence. It feels like an eternity. 

 

Finally, Madame Yu speaks. 

 

“Your brother,” she says, eyes narrowed, “went missing trying to come here? To see his alleged child?”

 

“You all claim to be so confident in his parentage, but you still say 'alleged'?” Uncle spits. 

 

“Yes,” Lan Xichen confirms, ignoring the older Lan. “Wangji… yes. He wanted to come see the child.”

 

Xichen should have talked to him. He shouldn’t have taken Uncle at his word. 

 

Madame Yu seems to think for a long moment. Then she turns to look at her daughter. Jiang Yanli looks at her back for the first time in the entire conversation, and Madame Yu’s eyes tighten at what she finds in Maiden Jiang’s expression. 

 

There’s a long pause. 

 

“You said he expended energy. Dangerous amounts of energy?”

 

“You overstep,” Uncle continues his tirade, but Lan Xchen has given up on him altogether. He goes to step in front of him. Uncle makes an offended noise. Lan Xichen has been gripped by the sudden hope that maybe the Jiangs are lying to protect his brother, somehow, when they say he never arrived at Lotus Pier. He can be angry about it later. Right now, he must get to the truth.

 

“Yes,” he confirms, voice coming a little unsteady. “Very dangerous.”

 

“What did he do to put himself so much at risk?” Madame Yu says. “What methods did your sect use to keep him from coming here?”

 

Lan Xichen closes his eyes, getting ready to respond, when Uncle comes to grab his shoulder. 

 

“That is enough, Xichen! We do not reveal internal matters to outsiders,” Uncle says, more than agitated. 

 

Xichen steps away from him. 

 

“He had to break through a barrier,” Lan Xichen says, his anger starting to bleed through at the reality of his brother having been imprisoned in his own home. “Those equivalent in level to the wards of the Cloud Recesses.”

 

Madame Yu’s eyes widen slightly. Jiang Fengmian looks outwardly shocked. 

 

The jinag sibligs don’t react much. Jiang Wanyin is grimacing, but Jiang Yanli only furrows her brow that much further, still staring straight at him. 

 

Lan Xichen can’t help but find it suspicious. 

 

“You imprisoned him… behind wards?” Madame Yu says very carefully. It feels like the humid, ozone smell before rain. Before a storm. 

 

“It is none of your business! Any of you!” Uncle snaps, almost roars. 

 

“You would want to avoid being tied to the Jiang that much that you would lock your model disciple behind sect-level wards!?” Madame Yu says incredulously, blinking, smiling a terrifying smile. “The gall! The audacity!”

 

“My Lady–” Sect Leader Jiang starts, but it's weak. He’s still looking a little unnerved. 

 

“No,” Madame Yu says, Zidan crackling brightly. “I need to hear the logic behind this. You hate our head disciple this much that you would trap your own nephew, stop him from taking responsibility, and deny an innocent child his parentage!?”

 

“You say that as if you do not mock the bastards of other sect leaders, heirs, and associates!” Lan Qiren booms. 

 

Madame Yu snarls. 

 

“As if you yourself don't turn up your nose at Jin Guangshan’s dalliances during conferences and events!”

 

“A-Yuan is not a bastard,” Jiang Yanli cuts in, looking genuinely angry now. “Please do not call my nephew so.”

 

“A-Yuan?” Lan Xichen can't help but ask, startled. 

 

Jiang Yanli turns to him, expression softening. 

 

“That is what my brother named him,” she says.

 

“I thought the father named the child,” Lan Xichen says, and can't help the slight upturning of his lips. It probably looks like a very frazzled smile. He's not doing very well right now. 

 

Jiang Yanli seems to see this, and she gives him a slight smile back. A sympathetic one. 

 

“His father did name him. A-Xian is his first father, after all.”

 

“Everyone, please,” Jiang Fengmian speaks up, and then he sighs. He looks around. There are still many Jiang disciples around Lotus Pier, finishing their jobs or training. 

 

“Let us at least discuss things inside,” Jiang Fengmian finally says. “We'll send for tea and cakes.”

 

Madame Yu seems about to protest, but Jiang Yanli swoops in. 

 

“That seems like a great idea. Follow me.”

 

She turns and begins walking into the main courtyard. Uncle doesn't seem keen to follow, so Lan Xichen does it for him.

 

Jiang Yanli turns slightly and gives him an approving glance. 

—

 

Wei Wuxian hears the Lans enter the complex. He grimaces. 

 

The good thing is that now they're farther away from the healing rooms. They're in a separate building. The bad thing is that Lan Qiren's voice carries, and Lan Zhan has long given A-Yuan over to cover his ears, looking the most upset Wei Wuxian has ever seen him. Wei Wuxian has come over and tentatively wrapped an arm around his shoulders, rubbing circles into his skin. Lan Zhan just leaned over and put his head on Wei Wuxian's collarbone. It was slightly awkward since Lan Zhan was leagues taller than him, but Wei Wuxian isn't going to deny him comfort, so he'd held him and hadn't said anything. Wei Wuxian is honestly enjoying all the close contact, to be honest.

 

He’s not enjoying Lan Zhan being upset. 

 

“Hey,” he says calmly. “They've gone inside. No more yelling, hopefully.”

 

It takes a moment, but Lan Zhan finally takes his hands off his ears, opening his eyes slightly. 

 

“Mn,” he says quietly. He doesn't say much else. 

 

“No talking time?” Wei Wuxian asks. 

 

Sometimes Lan Zhan would get like this back in the lectures. It was usually ushered by the guest disciples being extra loud, or something particularly disruptive happening. When Wei Wuxian would find him, he would be distant, non-conversational. Wei Wuxian had taken it personally until one day, while they'd been walking somewhere together and Lan Zhan had been his usual, prim and proper self, but with responses, they’d come across a group of disciples. One had screamed from laughter, or something like that. Lan Zhan had sent them for punishment and then gone quiet afterwards. 

 

Wei Wuxian had realized Lan Zhan didn't like change, that's all. It had nothing to do with him. They'd continued walking, and Wei Wuxian had talked for both of them. 

 

Wei Wuxian is honestly concerned about how Lan Zhan will deal with a baby, since they are notoriously loud. A-Yuan was significantly calmer, but it still warranted a later discussion. 

 

Here, in this moment, though, it was completely warranted not to talk. Lan Zhan was more than distressed. 

 

Lan Zhan finally nods. 

 

“That's okay,” Wei Wuxian says softly. He presses a kiss to Lan Zhan's forehead, hoping it won't be too much for the man. Lan Zhan relaxes further into him, so Wei Wuxian decides it was a good course of action. 

 

He has A-Yuan in his other hand. He's long since been burped and is now sleeping soundly. 

 

They sit in silence for a while. Wei Wuxian is a little too distracted to talk. 

 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan suddenly says softly. 

 

“Hmm?” Wei Wuxian responds, surprised. 

 

Lan Zhan pulls back to look him in the face. 

 

He stares at him closely for a while. It's like he's memorizing every bit of Wei Wuxian's face. 

 

“What's up?” Wei Wuxian says, smiling slightly. 

 

Lan Zhan frowns. He looks deeply disturbed by something, on top of everything else obviously weighing down on him.

 

“The baby. Will I be like Uncle, to A-Yuan?”

 

Wei Wuxian makes a confused, almost offended face. 

 

“Lan Zhan, what?”

 

Lan Zhan looks away to the far wall. 

 

“Uncle was strict. I am strict. Will I be too strict?”

 

He takes a pause, his face scrunching minutely. 

 

“I do not want to be like Uncle.”

 

Wei Wuxian sighs. 

 

“Lan Zhan, thats–” he says, face falling. 

 

Wei Wuxian knows what Lan Zhan is worried about. He's worried that one day, he will inspire the same negative feelings his Uncle is making him feel right now. 

 

“Why are you asking me this? What's going on up here?” Wei Wuxian taps the side of Lan Zhan's head, trying to tease. 

 

Lan Zhan's face softens a little, and he turns to peer at Wei Wuxian. 

 

“Wei Ying,” he says. “Wei Ying, if I ever make A-Yuan feel like how I…”

 

He trails off, stiff, closed-off. 

 

“Lan Zhan… I think I should…” Wei Wuxian starts, then smiles, the thing closer to a grimace. “I should… apologize.”

 

Lan Zhan's gaze snaps to his face. Wei Wuxian hurries to continue. 

 

“I'm the reason you and your uncle have this rift right now. I know part of it isn't something I could control, but I still feel like…”

 

He winces, unable to continue. 

 

“Wei Ying. This is not your fault.”

 

“It feels like my fault,” Wei Wuxian says shortly, clipped, quiet. “Lan Zhan, I love A-Yuan, and I wouldn't trade him for anything, and I'm glad he was born, but…”

 

Wei Wuxian feels tears start to form in his eyes, and he scrubs his face quickly. Lan Zhan's still probably caught on, however. Wei Wuxian doesn't know. He isn't looking at his face. 

 

“I don't know what I'm doing!” He cries finally, giving in to frustration, trying his best not to jostle A-Yuan too much. “Nothing makes sense, things keep changing–”

 

Lan Zhan reaches out to take his free hand, and Wei Wuxian looks back at him, face probably splotchy from tears. 

 

Lan Zhan is staring at him with sorrow hiding in his stony features. 

 

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian says, shaking his head. 

 

“No,” Lan Zhan declares crossly. “No sorries.”

 

Then a second later, said quietly, “Wei Ying, I'm scared.”

 

Wei Wuxian inhales, then hiccups out a giggle. 

 

“Me too,” he says. “Lan Zhan, I don't want them to take you away. You just got here! And I've been doing my best, with A-Yuan, and Jiejie and Jiang Cheng have done their best, too, but…”

 

Wei Wuxian sighs, head tilting down. 

 

“I don't think I can do this without you.”

 

Lan Zhan puffs out a breath. 

 

“I want to stay,” Lan Zhan says, looking at him in the eyes. His golden orbs shine in the warm candle glow. “I will do whatever I can to stay.”

 

Wei Wuxian snorts. He dislodges their hands to reach up and play with Lan Zhan's hair. 

 

“You could never be like your Uncle,” Wei Wuxian says abruptly, laughing a bit. It's soft, tired. Fond. “You would be the type of parent to sneak A-Yuan candy when I'm not looking.’

 

Lan Zhan makes the barest hint of a face at that. Wei Wuxian laughs again, this time louder. 

 

“Wei Ying would make him laugh. Make up stories.”

 

Wei Wuxian is gripped by sudden emotion, and he starts crying again. He loves the idea so much . 

 

He looks at his baby. His little chest is rising and falling with every breath. Wei Wuxian didn't even give a passing thought to children before A-Yuan was born, and now he has so many fantasies unspooling behind his eyes, of a cottage and a garden and a dirt-covered toddler, of Lan Zhan beside him as they watch him play in the mud, or pick out weeds from the garden, or lay soothingly down on a latch of grass for a nap. 

 

“ Augh , Lan Zhan, you better marry me,” Wei Wuxian says tearily. 

 

“I will,” Lan Zhan says firmly. 

 

“You better , because you've made me think I can have all I've ever wanted, and if you go back on your word I think I'll literally die,” Wei Wuxian says, sniffing. 

 

In response to that, Lan Zhan pulls back. He stares at Wei Wuxian for a long moment, and then he reaches for his forehead ribbon. 

 

Once it's untied, he takes Wei Wuxian's hand. 

 

“Lan Zhan?”

 

Lan Zhan looks up at him, and smiles . 

 

“Head ribbon. It means to let go of all restraint. It's only touched by family,” he says slowly as he begins to wrap the ribbon around Wei Wuxian's wrist. “And spouses.”

 

Wei Wuxian lets out an incredulous breath as Lan Zhan ties the ribbon off. 

 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says, then. “I have dreamt of marrying you for a long time. I imagined our robes. Our bows.”

 

Wei Wuxian is full-on crying now. 

 

“I'm stupid, Lan Zhan. I didn't realize I was in love with you until like. A day after I had A-Yuan.”

 

Lan Zhan looks at him with mirth in his eyes. 

 

“I thought of the tea. The wine. The hunts we would take after, because you love to travel. It would be the perfect honeymoon.”

 

“It would ,” Wei Wuxian says mournfully, looking at his baby and despairing at now having responsibilities. 

 

“We cannot do it now, but one day, when A-Yuan is older, we will go,” Lan Zhan says, then curls Wei Wuxian into his arms. Wei Wuxian goes happily. Lan Zhan places a hand on the side of Wei Wuxian's face, hand going down his hair, beginning to stroke. 

 

“I dreamt of having you here like this,” Lan Zhan says softly, lips coming to rest on the crown of Wei Wuxian's head. “To feel your warmth, your skin. Hear your voice, smell your scent.”

 

Wei Wuxian feels like he's going to melt in a puddle of absolute goo.

 

“Lan Zhan, stoooop,” he whines into Lan Zhan's shoulder. 

 

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says, and it's filled with so many emotions. How did he ever think Lan Zhan was expressionless, that he was a fuddy-duddy? “I will marry you in every lifetime. In all the ways. In every form.”

 

Wei Wuxian cries into Lan Zhan's robes. It feels like he's been doing that a lot lately. 

Notes:

There we gooooo

Let's hope I don't write myself into a corner with this. I WILL KEEP REG POSTING I SWEAR WE HAVE TO LEARN DISCIPLINEEEEE

Tell me what you liked, favorite scenes, etc! Wangxian is always my favorite part in like. Most chapters khjdgcihwegbci

Chapter 8: A Brother's Lament

Summary:

Jiang Yanli Jiang Yanlis.

Lan Xichen Lan Xichens.

Older siblings, am I right?

Notes:

Hiiiiii
I have no idea if this is even good anymore. I tried.

Peaceeee

“I hope some good tea and snacks will be enough to calm everyone down,” Jiang Yanli says softly and gracefully into the tense air of the Jiang Clan’s meeting room.

 

Lan Xichen has been here before, as part of sect negotiation audits. Uncle has been letting him listen in on official matters for years. As it is, he still feels quite dazed and twitchy from the situation. This place looks unbearably unfamiliar, even though logically he knows it shouldn’t. 

 

Jiang Yanli has sat herself between her parents. They had seemed put off by her decision, but Jiang Fengmian had given Madame Yu a look , and she had sat down in the seat beside Maiden Jiang without a rod, though still looking fairly murderous. Jiang Wanyin sits next to his mother on her other side, looking uncomfortable but also sharply focused on the situation around him. 

 

The additional Lan disciples Uncle insisted on bringing with him have been directed to some guest rooms by some polite but distant servants. It seemed they had stepped on quite a few toes by arriving at the Jiang Sect in such an abrupt manner.

 

Lan Xichen still can’t find it in himself to really care about it much. Not until he sees his brother's face, either dead or alive. He can worry about sociable niceties then.

 

“The Lan sect thanks Maiden Jiang and her family for these hasty accommodations,” Lan Xichen forces himself to say anyway, because he’s been trained since childhood to be this way. He will never separate this part of his personality from himself; the part of himself that constantly wants to do things prim and proper, to give the most thought-out, correct responses. Wangji could be rebellious when he wanted. Lan Xichen… 

 

Sometimes he fears he will be stuck in this position forever, as a dutiful servant to his Uncle and the elders, never having a say in his sect despite being the one destined to lead it once he comes of age. 

 

Jiang Yanli gives him a nod. She looks very observant, very focused on Lan Xichen’s minute reactions. It makes him feel like a bug under a sharp-focused glass. 

 

She turns to Uncle then, and narrows her eyes. 

 

“Grandmaster Lan,” she says. “I feel we should discuss your grievances in more detail. What, exactly, was the reason you felt it necessary to imprison your nephew? The prospect of having my brother as a nephew-in-law cannot be that world-ending of a concept…”

 

Jiang Yanli trails off and looks truly puzzled, like a mother not able to understand her toddler’s way of thinking.

 

“It,” Uncle seethes, “is quite obvious. My nephew Wangjis is perfect and beyond reproach. Wei Wuxian is a rebellious, undisciplined child.”

 

“Wei Wuxian is the Head Disciple of the Jiang Clan,” Madame Yu says angrily. “He holds the title due to his dedication to his cultivation and his overall progress, which is beyond compare among the rest of the Jiang disciples! Do you think I would not like it to be my own son, instead? The Jiang works with facts, not tradition!”

 

“The fact is also that they have had a child,” Jiang Yanli says, tilting her head in acknowledgment to her mother, “and they have done so through a soulmate’s blessing.” 

 

“Impossible,” Uncle immediately denies, spitting it out like a foul-tasting soup. 

 

“Under which basis? I have read the tome myself, as well as additional research on the matter. In many cases, Ziji have been found to be the complete opposite of each other in demeanor and upbringing,” Jiang Yanli disputes calmly. 

 

“Ziji is also the only way to explain the phenomenon of men having children,” Madame Yu says darkly. “You dare deny the wish of fate!?”

 

“The fates would not be so cruel! To either Wangji or his family!”

 

“Do you think you are the only one with something to lose, here?” Jiang Fengmian finally cuts in, eyes furrowed. He looks somber. “Your nephew is not what I would have wanted for A-Xian as a Ziji, either.”

 

Uncle is rendered speechless for a few moments. He looks like he’s having a conniption. Lan Xichen prays for strenghth.

 

“It must come as quite a shock to you,” Jiang Fengmian says, lips pressed tightly together. “But Lan Wangji is not what I imagined when I thought of a spouse for A-Xian. He is too rigid, uncompromising, and quiet. A-Xian has always been a loud and boisterous child. I fear Lan Wangji would dim him and his high spirits.”

“Anyone would be more than lucky to have my nephew’s hand in marriage!” Uncle proclaims finally, face red in anger. 

 

“I would say the same for my ward,” Jiang Fengmian says succinctly. “We both have grievances about them being married. That is why I have been trying to work through a compromise, to make sure both boys are not tied together and grow to resent each other.”

 

Madame Yu stiffens imperceptibly. 

 

“I have proven myself flexible like this before, in your presence, even,” Jiang Fengmian continues, turning to glance at Jiang Yanli slightly, who ignores his gaze and stares resolutely forward. “I agreed to break the engagement between the Jin and my daughter for similar reasons. Instead, you have come to Wei Wuxian’s home and slandered him and his character, calling him a liar who only wants to raise his standing. How would you see it if we came into your residence and said the same of your nephew?”

 

“I always gave your sect the option to refuse a contract,” Madame Yu snaps, taking over. “Instead, like my husband has just said, you bring your inner sect problems to our door with a helping of degradation for our head disciple with no decorum in sight! I do not like Wei Wuxian either, but his talent is not to be dismissed, not to mention the trauma of having a child so abruptly and with no preparation!”

 

“His bed had to be replaced,” Jiang Wanyin finally speaks up, looking grim, “because my brother hemorrhaged for a full night.”

 

Lan Xichen feels his face pale. 

 

He hadn’t thought about the birth at all, so busy with the reactions going on around him at the news of Wangji’s new child. He should have. Just last year, a distant aunt had almost died during childbirth for the same reason. Her core, built from over a century of meditation, had been what had saved her. If she had not been a cultivator, she would have perished. 

 

“Grandmaster Lan,” Jiang Yanli sighs. “Please put this bias towards my brother aside. I beg you as his older sister, who loves him very much and has watched him agonize over his situation for the past few days.”

 

“Wangji cannot be the father,” Uncle says, but now, it’s lower, less explosive. “My Wangji would not sire a child this way.”

 

“Grandmaster Lan,” Jiang says once again, only this time, her gaze is careful. “What are you so afraid of, exactly?”

 

Uncle goes silent. 

 

Lan Xichen stares at him. 

 

He thinks he knows the answer. 

 

Maiden Jiang waits for a while, then shakes her head slightly, a tiredness passing through her face. 

 

“I will request more tea. Do our guests have any preference?”

 

Uncle is still silent. Lan Xichen smiles stiffly at her. 

 

“Black tea, please,” he says quietly. It is secretly his Uncle's favorite.

 

Uncle doesn't react. Lan Xichen clutches his hands together under the table.

 

He feels, suddenly, quite fragile. 

 

Jiang Yanli nods and takes the untouched pot from the table. A servant comes over, a stern-faced one, and takes it from her hands. Madame Yu nods at the woman slightly, and she goes off to return with a new pot of fresh liquid.

 

There is a long, drawn-out silence where Jiang Yanli seems to be thinking some things over. Finally, she seems to make up her mind. She turns to her brother.

 

“A-Cheng,” she says gently, completely at odds with how she’s been referring to the Lan delegation all evening. “Please take Lan-gongzi to a quieter, more considerate area. Perhaps towards the infirmary; the vicinity tends to be kept peaceful for the benefit of recovering patients.”

 

Jiang Wanyin looks at his sister with wide, almost scandalized eyes. Jiang Yanli just holds her gaze. Finally, Jiang Wanyin nods. He stands. 

 

“Follow me, Lan-gongzi,” he says, clipped. 

 

“You have not been dismissed,” Uncle hisses at Lan Xichen, still not looking his way. He’s clenching his jaw tightly, to the point it looks unhealthy. Painful. 

 

“Lan-gongzi,” Jiang Yanli says, and when Lan Xichen looks at her gaze, it feels like she’s asking him to trust her with her eyes. “You are dismissed.”

 

She says it with a smile. Something that feels like the all-hailed eye of a hurricane. 

 

(She’s an older sibling, too. How can she be this way? So assertive in the face of those so much older than her?)

 

Lan Xichen meets her halfway. He rises and bows.

 

“Thank you for your hospitality,” he says, and follows Jiang Wanyin when he begins walking again. 

 

It feels confining and freeing all at once.

—

 

“You had no authority–” Lan Qiren is already saying, but the removal of two fragile, unpredictable variables has left Jiang Yanli brave, so she cuts him off. Quite impolitely–but as needs must, sometimes niceties must be discarded in the face of raging patriarchs. 

 

“Your nephew is more than distressed, and A-Cheng is not in the position to handle such matters like these,” Jiang Yanli says curtly. It is a change from the tone she had maintained while her brother and Lan-gonzi had been here.

 

Her mother reaches under the table to pinch her side, but Jiang Yanli catches her hand, already knowing it is coming, familiar with the reprimand. She turns to look at her finally, a burning, blazing gaze. Madame Yu stares back with just as much animosity, but Jiang Yanli can tell her previous words are ringing through her mind.

 

[ They’re mine.]

 

[I don’t forgive you. I will never forgive you.]

 

Mother backs down, but Jiang Yanli knows it is only temporary. They will be having words about this later. 

 

That is fine. She will win that battle, too, no matter what it takes. 

 

“I find your conduct today has been quite impolite,” Jiang Yanli finally continues once she has re-focused back on her current adversary. “For the sake of the boys, I have tried to be… considerate. I have tried to let your actions roll off like water off a duck’s feathers.”

 

Jiang Yanli stares Lan Qiren down. 

 

“I will make the situation quite clear for you, Grandmaster Lan. My brother should have died when he gave birth to your Lan heir.”

 

Lan Qiren gives a small, imperceptible flinch. 

 

“Perhaps you do not care much about this revelation,” Jiang Yanli says wth a dead smile, “So I will elaborate. The healers under our purview gave a quite detailed medical report. A-Xian experienced what they call a 'post-partum hemorrhage’. Due to the unexpectedness of the situation, A-Xian did not inform us of the child until the morning. During the night of his labor, all throughout and until dawn, he bled. When A-Cheng and I found him, he was, in fact, still bleeding. His injury had healed somewhat, due to his strong core, but not enough that it would have sustained even an hour longer of life in him.”

 

“Yanli. Perhaps these are not the details to tell an outsider,” Father tries to say, looking a little green around the edges. It is clear he is not used to hearing about such details, nor used to them being said so brazenly. 

 

“No. He must hear them, and he will,” Jiang Yanli says. 

 

She takes a deep breath. 

 

Then, she glares.

 

“You,” she says quietly, “have no right to be here.”

 

Lan Qiren opens his mouth, ready to start yelling at her audacity, no doubt. Jiang Yanli does not allow it. She stands up, staring him down. 

 

“You should be here begging for forgiveness that my brother sacrificed his health, his mental stability, and his spiritual prowess to bear an heir to your sect, one which is linked to you by blood. You should be more than happy to begin negotiations so that my brother can be provided with the stability and backing he deserves for having been put through this traumatic event. My brother almost died. ”

 

“The Lan Clan,” Lan Qiren spits, “bears no responsibility for Wei Wuxian’s irresponsible actions!”

 

“Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s irresponsible actions,” Jiang Yanli snaps, fury creeping into her voice. “I, A-Cheng, and my parents have seen the babe’s eyes. They bear the Lan Clan’s signature gold. There is no doubt and never has been that the child is Lan Wangji’s.”

 

Lan Qiren rears back a little in shock. 

 

“And do you want to know what I think, Grandmaster Lan?” Jiang Yanli says softly, dangerously. “I think deep down, you know this. Deep down, you are not as surprised at the concept of your nephew having been part of this as you so claim to be.” 

 

Jiang Yanli finally sits down once more, staring still with great animosity as she takes the teapot in front of them, having finally been brought over by he same servant from earlier, and begins to pour them all cups of tea with perfect form.

 

“That means, of course, that there is another reason for your… reaction .” 

 

She passes a cup to her mother, her father, and then finally, Lan Qiren, who looks at the porcelain thing with suspicion, then back at Jiang Yanli like a creature that has suddenly realized that it can be a predator as well as prey . 

 

“It would be in your best interest,” Jiang Yanli says gently, mustering up a dark smile, “to start talking.”

—

 

Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen are silent all throughout their walk to the infirmary. 

 

Lan Xichen can't find it in himself to speak. Jiang Cheng doesn't seem interested in talking, just continues forward with clenched fists and no other sign of tenseness. Lan Xichen can tell, though, that he is not happy to be leading him wherever they're going. 

 

(Lan Xichen is hoping it's Wangji. Please let it be Wangji.)

 

The cross courtyards and returning disciples, who all gaze at them curiously, wearily. Finally, they stop at a door. 

 

Jiang Cheng doesn't say anything for a while. 

 

Then he turns to look at Lan Xichen and bows.

 

“Please wait here. I will be back.”

 

He turns back around and enters the door carefully, not allowing Lan Xichen to see what's inside. 

 

Lan Xichen closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He settles in to wait. 

 

—

 

“Okay, I need you two to stop cuddling. Now.”

 

Wei Wuxian scrambles backwards, not out of sheepishness but out of tenseness. 

 

“Jiang Cheng! You're back! What happened, what's going on? Is someone dead yet–”

 

Lan Zhan looks a little long-suffering, but it's a step up from depressed, so Wei Wuxian shoots him a quick smile and watches as his features soften. 

 

“No smiling at each other, either,” Jiang Cheng continues, but besides the vein jumping on his forehead, he seems unusually subdued. 

 

“Whatever, okay, what happened?”

 

Jiang Cheng seems to bite the inside of his lip for a bit, then sighs.

 

“Jiejie said Lan Xichen can come to meet the baby. And see Lan Wangji.”

 

Lan Zhan stiffens horribly. Wei Wuxian does so as well, but his focus is immediately on Lan Zhan, because, well, his focus is almost always on Lan Zhan. 

 

“I'll take him somewhere else if you two don't want to see him. It's what Jiejie would want. I think she decided to send him here, though, because he thinks if Lan Wangji didn't make it here, then he's dead.”

 

Lan Zhan's eyes furrow. Wei Wuxian's widen.

 

“Wait, what?!”

 

Jiang Cheng shifts uncomfortably. He eyes the muffling talismans on the door.

 

“He admitted to the wards in front of everyone. He looked… worried.”

 

Wei Wuxian is left reeling. Was it possible that Lan Xichen truly hadn't known that Lan Zhan had been locked away in the Jingshi?

 

“He thinks I'm… dead,” Lan Zhan says quietly, face serious and somber. 

 

“If he doesn't end up finding you here, yeah,” Jiang Cheng responds. He looks a lot more considerate towards Lan Zhan than before. “Lan Wangji, the wards they trapped you in. Were they… really that dangerous?”

 

Lan Zhan looks down in thought. 

 

“I do not know,” he finally says. “I was not focused on the risk. Only on getting out.”

 

Jiang Cheng's eyes do something strange. A little twitch. 

 

“Okay,” he says tiredly. “Alright. I'm just gonna put that aside and unpack it later. Do you two want to see Lan-gongzi, or do I take him somewhere else?”

 

Wei Wuxian thinks, a little peeved. If it were up to him, he would have no more visitors. He was wearing a single robe for ease of access to A-Yuan, for his feeding. His general demeanor is a mess. 

 

But if Lan Xichen thinks that Lan Zhan is dead… Wei Wuxian can't, in good conscience, deny him being able to see his brother alive and well. 

 

He peers at Lan Zhan. He doesn’t seem to like the idea very much. 

 

“Lan Zhan, talk to me,” Wei Wuxian says, squeezing his shoulder. “What do you want? It’s all up to you.”

 

Lan Zhan makes a subtle face of distaste. 

 

“It is also up to Wei Ying. You have just given birth. You are recovering and should not have to entertain guests.”

 

“Your brother is different. He’s not a traditional visitor,” Wei Wuxian needles.

 

Honestly, despite Wei Wuxian not feeling up to being seen by the general public right now, he really doesn’t want Lan Xichen to go off all worried. He also wants to interrogate the man to find out what the hell the Lans are thinking. 

 

“I do not want to see him,” Lan Zhan finally says, closing his eyes in defeat. “He will try to convince me to return home. I do not know how he will treat you and A-Yuan, if he will be…”

 

“Supportive?” Wei Wuxian says softly. 

 

“Mn.”

 

Wei Wuxian sighs. 

 

“Well,” he says haltingly, trying to muster up some of his trademark brightness, “Jiejie did send him over. She wouldn’t have done that if she thought he was going to cause any harm…”

 

“... Maiden Jiang has good judgement, but she may be wrong in this case.”

 

“I see why she made the decision she did,” Jiang Cheng cuts in, arms crossed. “Your brother didn’t look well. He looked pale and tired. I’m sure he thought he was doing a good job keeping up a front, but anyone can see that something happened.”

 

Lan Zhan looks away from them, jaw set. Then he peers at A-Yuan while he sleeps curled up on Wei Wuxian’s chest. 

 

“If he… insulted A-Yuan, or Wei Ying…”

 

He takes a breath. 

 

“... Or me. I could not bear it.”

 

Wei Wuxian places a nimble hand on Lan Zhan's shoulder. 

 

“Then we'll send him off. You don't need to see him, Lan Zhan.”

 

Lan Zhan is silent for a long, long beat. 

 

Then he huffs a puff of air and looks back at Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng. 

 

“No,” he says, mind made up as denoted by the slight press of his lips. “Let him in.”

 

Wei Wuxian looks deep into his eyes. 

 

“Are you sure?” Jiang Cheng says from behind him. 

 

Lan Zhan meets Wei Wuxian's look with equal measure. 

 

“Yes,” he finally says.  He shakes his head. “I cannot run forever.”

 

Jiang Cheng gives them both doubtful looks, but eventually nods. 

 

“Get decent,” he throws at Wei Wuxian.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Wei Wuxian sighs, going to get some robes on. Lan Zhan, the gentleman he is, helps him up, puts on him two more layers, and then takes his own outer robe and drapes it over Wei Wuxian, adjusting the fabric just so. He takes A-Yuan and puts him in his bassinet, then he comes back to finish tying the robes closed.

 

Then he sits back down next to Wei Wuxian, tense. 

 

“Hey,” Wei Wuxian says, trying to smile. “Everything will be alright, Lan Zhan.”

 

Lan Zhan hums in response, still looking doubtful, but tightens his hold on Wei Wuxian's hand once the Jiang disciple goes to intertwine their fingers. 

 

Jiang Cheng sighs, takes one last look at the sappy fucks in front of him, and goes to open the door.

 

—

 

Jiang Wanyin files out of the room once more. He’s grimacing. He’s also careful not to let Lan Xichen look inside, just yet.

 

Lan Xichen’s suspicions are building at a steady pace.

 

“Look,” Jiang Wanyin says shortly, breaking his streak of polite distance for the first time. Lan Xichen can sense the familiar explosive anger underneath. “The only reason I brought you here is because Jiejie said to. If it was up to me, after all the shit your Uncle pulled, I’d have kicked you out of our sect and left you to rot at the gates.”

 

Lan Xichen blinks rapidly, a little shocked. 

 

“All this to say,” Jiang Wanying continues, glaring. “You make my brother cry, you make him so much as frown, they’ll never find your fucking body.”

 

With that, Jiang Wanyin opens the door to the room behind him. 

 

“Get inside.”

 

Lan Xichen obeys mutely, a little lost, not processing what’s happening until he finally looks inside the room properly. 

 

His eyes widen. He freezes, limbs beginning to tremble.

 

He hears Jiang Wanyin close the door behind him distantly. Lan Xichen is a little too preocupied with the sight in front of him, though. 

 

Wei Wuxian is here. There is a bassinet next to his bedside. At his other side, though…

 

At his other side is Wangji. 

 

“Brother,” he says curtly, golden eyes unmoving from Lan Xichen’s face. 

 

There are many details he takes in at once, about him. His hair is a mess. It's missing his hair crown and also his ribbon. His robes are torn, but not necessarily stained (perhaps thanks to the anti-staining talismans sewn into the border of the clothes).

 

He looks exhausted. 

 

Sallow, almost, and paler than Xichen has ever seen him. There are bags under his eyes. Wangji has kept a regular sleep schedule for more than a decade. Xichen has never seen him with eye bags. 

 

He’s also, unerringly, quite clear to see, alive . 

 

“Wangji,” Lan Xiochen says–chokes, more like, and then goes silent. There is a knot in his throat. 

 

Wangji still looks weary for a few more seconds, until suddenly, his eyes widen imperceptibly. 

 

“Brother,” he says sharply, and then gets up. He looks alarmed. 

 

Lan Xiochen realizes it’s probably because tears have begun to make their way down his face. 

 

“Ah,” he says, scrubbing his cheeks, his eyes. “No, I–it’s fine. I…”

 

Wangji is looking at him, looking a little lost. He looks like he’s caught between coming closer and giving Xichen his space. 

 

It makes sense.       

 

The Lan clan has never been one for physical comfort. The last time Xichen hugged his brother was probably before they even reached double digits in age. Wangji, always so stringent in following the rules, had begun to shy away from physical contact young. Lan Xichen himself would love nothing more than to wrap his brother in his arms, but he was afraid of stepping on any toes or pushing him away any further. 

 

“You made it,” Lan Xichen says raspily instead, trying to smile. “You’re not… you’re…”

 

Wangji is still staring at him. Lan Xicvhen is making a fool of himself. 

 

Wei Wuxian pulls on Wangji’s robe slightly, and he turns to look down at the Jiang disciple. Wei Wuxian gives Wangji a look. Perhaps if Xichen were in a better state of mind, he could decipher it. The intricacies are lost to him right now.

 

Wangji looks at Wei Wuxian, then back at Xichen. 

 

“Brother… I am sorry for. Worrying you,” Wangji says quietly, looking oh-so-serious. 

 

“Oh, no, Wangji,” Xichen says wetly. “You don’t have to apologize. None of this is your fault, I–I should have…”

 

Xichen swallows. He’s trying so hard not to cry right now. He’s failing miserably. 

 

“ Ge, ” Wangji says, stricken now. 

 

“Just give me a second,” Xichen says, voice waning. He covers his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Just… I just need…”

 

He can’t help it. The tears aren't stopping. It’s, quite honestly, embarrassing. 

 

“Huan-ge,” Wangji says, sounding properly panicked. “Huan-ge, don’t cry.”

 

“I’m not crying!” Xichen tries to say brightly, but his face is still covered, and he’s pretty sure he’s shaking. He’s botching this terribly. He needs to stop.

 

He hears quiet footsteps, then a tentative hand reaching up to tap at his arm. Xichen finally lowers his hands and is met with the sight of Wangji standing in front of him, staring. He looks heartbreakingly hesitant. 

 

“Ge,” he says, then hesitates, continuing slitedly, “I–I am sorry. I do not know how to do this.”

 

“Do what?” Xichen tries to prompt gently, just like he always does when Wangji is stuck on something: an emotion, a grudge, a detail in an essay.

 

Wangji does that thing that he does whenever he’s overwhelmed, verging on frustrated. He’s always been strong-willed, always relied on his rules to get him by, but when it comes to them being brothers in the privacy of their own homes, he becomes unmoored, relying on his routines too much. Xichen has never minded it. He understands. 

 

The worst is when Wangji wants to break out of that and can’t. He’s so used to order, to certain proceedings, rituals…

 

“What is it, Wangji? Are you worried about your poor older brother? Everything is fine, Didi,” Xochen says, breaths hiccupping. He needs to calm down!

 

He doesn’t feel right. 

 

Wangji looks at him for a long, long moment, gaze looking him slowly up and down minutely, all with the small subtleties he usually carries. He blinks once. Twice. 

 

Then he leans in, extends his arms, and carefully, carefully, wraps Xichen in a hug. 

 

Xichen lets out a weird little wheeze. It’s a tiny sound, and not one he’s ever heard himself make. Then the dam breaks, and he goes to clutch at his brother like a drowning man. He lets out the ugliest sob he’s ever heard in his life. 

 

“ Never do that to me again, Wangji!” He cries, voice breaking. “Please, please never–”

 

Wangji stiffens a little, but doesn’t let go. He pats Xochen’s back awkwardly, slowly. He’s clearly unused to showing this type of affection, but he’s doing it anyway. 

 

“I’m so sorry!” Xichen cries into his shoulder. “Uncle said you were upset and that you didn't want anyone to–I should have checked anyway! I didn’t know, Wangji, I would have never let Uncle–”

 

Wangji’s arms tighten a bit. He buries his face in Xichen’s robes. 

 

“Wangji,” Xichen says wretchedly. “I am so sorry! ”

 

“No, brother, I–I’m not mad at you.”

 

Wangji says it quietly. It’s like he’s a little kid again, sweet and round-faced and still prone to tears of frustration. 

 

“I’m sorry anyway,” Xichen says brokenly, squeezing Wangji so tightly he’s probably cutting off his circulation. “Wangji, your ge is so, so sorry. ”

 

Wangji doesn’t respond, but he also doesn’t pull away. 

Notes:

I'm not gonna lie and say the Twin Jades gave me the worst of the worst of trouble to write, but I won't say they were easy, either. I'll come out and say it--Wangji is written as autistic in this. I didn't tag it because the tag Autism or Autistic Lan Wangji can kind of. Idk. It breaks the immersion of the story for me. In ancient China, if you were autistic, you would never get a name for it, it's just. What you have to deal with, I guess. Wangji will never get a diagnosis in this universe, so that's why I avoid the tag, but honestly, it's very obvious he's on the spectrum. He literally bites wei wuxian multiple times in canon when he's overwhelmed (NOT in a sexy way) he's stilted, awkward, not very interested in being social, adheres to his sects rules with ease (unless it's Unfair, in which then he goesAPESHIT, which matches the part of autism where they can be very justice oriented. Contradictions in rules can feel world ending--in canon, Wangji finds the contradiction against "be just" "be fair" "do not judge others" and similar rules all the time and has a hard time handling them), he has very little expression on his face, to the point that Wei Wuxian has to read the little minute twitches to get what's going on most of the time with him. He speaks with only the necessary components of speech. He doesn't like physical contact! (unless its WWX which also lines up in the way that most of the time autistics can want to hug people and hold hands and tap on shoulders and feel that physical connection with others but also have such a strong aversion to touch in every day life that it can be hard for them to seek that out. Wei Wuxian, as a whole, is a teenager who pushes until he's right at the edge of breaking a boundary, and that helps Wangji get out of his comfort zone. That's not to say that Wei Wuxian doesn't cross the line at times, because he does! But he learns from it, and it's not boundaries that are too egregious.)

You can be autistic and experience everything that Lan Wangji experiences in the form of conflict and emotions. You can be autistic and fall in love, get whipped 33 times, break out of wards (in this fic), be good at swordsmanship, be well-read and intelligent, have flawless but cold manners, etc. That man. Is Autistic. I say this as someone with ASD myself. Wangji probably has level one with no intellectual disabilities.

Anyway, why am I talking about this? Xichen has known since his brother was old enough to walk that something is. Off. Not wrong! Wangji is still a great, accomplished cultivator, still a great kid, all that jazz. But maybe yes wrong! The thing about Autism is that (in my experience) the world is Loud. As. Fuck! And there are so many demands! and rituals! The Lan clan is great at providing Wangji structure, but not good at giving him anything else. Proper coping mechanisms? Crash course in socializing outside of conferences, events, and guest discipleship in Gusu? No! Their aversion to touch as well (because it's seen as too much for public spaces, they need to be beyond reproach at all times--this is probably more of a main family rule, actually) makes it so that, yes, most of the time Wangji can get away with not having to touch people, but also makes it that when he wants to hug his brother, he can't bring himself to.

Wangji has a helping of autism with a side of the trademark Lan repression, and Xichen has seen it in him all his life, and has foreseen the difficulties it will cause him, so Xichen has taken on that role of educating Wangji, of navigating his (silent) meltdowns (you can have silent meltdowns as an autistic person, it's a thing), of accommodating and also trying to push him to be more open, to make friends, to do all these things that Wangji wasn't born with the ability to navigate on his own.

Unfortunately, Xichen is passive. He didn't have an Xichen for himself to help him with his own troubles. He just had an Uncle who, while probably loves him and his brother very much and tries his best on a daily basis, is also incredibly flawed and also repressed and low-key traumatized from having to take on the sect, two kids, and losing his brother all at once. Xichen doesn't know how to stand up for others, and the one who suffers the most from this is actually himself.

What would Xichen have done if he had found out Wangji had been locked away? probably cry, go see him through the windows, and tell him he would talk to Uncle about letting him out. He would have absolutely talked to his uncle, but it still doesn't change the fact that he would have still left Wangji there.

Ugh. Anyway. I wanted to say that I hope that trying to inject all those subtleties into their reunion didn't make them come across as too childish and OOC. Anyway 😅

Tell me what you liked, your favorite part, etc! BAMF Yanli, my beloved, writing her in this chapter was my favorite AHHHHH also sorry for the word vomit 😭😭😭

Chapter 9: The Calm (Before the Storm)

Summary:

The Twin Jades talk. A resolve is formed.

Notes:

Ohhhhh ya'll. Things are about to start getting reallll

Be ready 😏

“You slept? You've eaten, and drank water?” Brother frets, sitting in a kneel in front of Wangji, hands reaching out to almost touch him, only to fall back at the last second. 

 

Lan Wangji has had a very trying week. 

 

He doesn't know what to make of any of this. 

 

He tries to start with what's in front of him, which is Brother. Lan Wangji shouldn’t have doubted him, but the world has all but imploded recently, and Wangji would have never thought his uncle capable of imprisoning him in his own home. Lan Wangji could not help but be wary.

 

Of course, now that Xichen is here, looking worn and ragged and frantic as he checks Wangji over, he feels like quite a terrible person. 

 

“Mn,” he finds it in himself to hum, because his brother deserves some sort of response. It was so obvious in hindsight that Uncle hadn’t told Xichen what he’d done. Wangji had also been melancholy ever since Wei Ying’s departure from the guest lectures, and it was a problem he’d been trying not to bother his brother with, recognizing it was something he had to deal with alone, so it was not completely out of character that he would refuse to see Xichen during an emotionally turbulent time. Brother would have at least come to check up on him if he’d known Wangji had been locked away. He would have tried to calm Wangji down. 

 

Wangji had not been working with the most logical demeanor during his time trapped in the Jingshi. 

 

“How long? What did you eat? How much water have you drunk? God, Wangji, those wards–I stood in their ruins, I don’t know how…”

 

Brother goes unsteady for a moment, waning. 

 

Wangji feels as though he might have accidentally shaved years off his brother's life. It was not his intention, and it is not a nice feeling. 

 

He looks around the room. Wei Ying is sitting off to the side, watching them with worried eyes, a smile creeping out from the corner of his lips. A-Yuan is still fast asleep in his bassinet. Jiang Wanyin is still standing next to the doorway, looking unsettled, like he doesn’t quite know what he’s supposed to be doing. 

 

The room itself smells like antiseptic and milk. It’s been driving Wangji a little crazy for the past few hours. He can’t bring himself to say it, though, because he’s lucky enough that they’ve let him stay as it is, and if he has to deal with unfamiliar smells to stay with Wei Ying and A-Yuan, then so be it. 

 

“He had two glasses of water, but he should probably be drinking more, to be honest,” Wei Ying cuts in, smiling, trying to be friendly. “He had some wonton soup; my Shijie made him some. And he slept for about sixteen hours.”

 

“Jiejie,” Jiang Wanyin corrects gruffly from the door, then continues his silence. 

 

Wei Ying’s face twitches. 

 

“Jiejie,” he allows, the slightest bit strained. 

 

Xochen himself has seemingly finally noticed that Wei Ying exists, and is looking a little sheepish. He bows his head. 

 

“Wei Wuxian, I–I apologize–”

 

Wei Ying waves a hand, sighing. 

 

“It’s alright, Zewu-jun, no need for that! You have your priorities on straight! Lan Zhan was not in a good state when he arrived. I understand the concern!"

 

Xichen’s eyes sharpen. 

 

“When did he get here?” he says, brows furrowed. “We only noticed he was missing… Ah, perhaps six hours ago?”

 

“How did you know?” Wangji can’t help but ask. 

 

Lan Xichen closes his eyes, looking pained. 

 

“The Jingshi is secluded, so we didn’t hear you destroy the wards, but I think Uncle meant to go talk to you? I’m not sure. When I arrived, he was in the middle of the ruins of it all. I was able to see the spellwork in the array. What was left of it, anyway…”

 

Brother trails off. He swallows. 

 

“Brother,” Wangji tries to comfort, sensing the conflict that must be running through Xichen. 

 

“Everything is a mess, and none of it makes sense. I’m still just… adjusting.”

 

“Lan Zhan got here last night,” Wei Ying says. “He, ah…”

 

A laugh flitters over Wei Ying’s face.

 

“Sorry,” he says, beginning to laugh. “It was just a little absurd. Lan Zhan showed up at my window. I’m not sure how he knew which room I’m staying at, actually, but he snuck into the sect and tapped on my window frame.”

 

“Looked at all the healing rooms,” Lan Zhan says, a little embarrassed now that he’s thinking clearly. “Wei Ying woke up? My memory is not the best. I think I recognized him.”

 

“Right, right,” Wei Ying says, and he’s still giggling in short starts and fits. Lan Zhan thinks it sounds like music. He wants to take Wei Ying’s smiling, bright face and crush their lips together. 

 

Alas, they have an audience. The deepest of shames.

 

“You walked here,” Xichen says, face a little grim. 

 

“Mn,” Wangji confirms, a little uncomfortable. It’s honestly all a blur. He thinks he asked for directions once or twice? From whom he doesn’t remember. All he knows is he walked so far and long that the sun had set, and it had been a struggle to stay awake. 

 

“With a drained core?”

 

Wangji doesn’t know what else to say here. He fears his continuance of the same response will only make Brother more distressed. 

 

Xichen buries his face in his hands in exasperation. 

 

“The biggest of messes,” Xichen says into his hands. It’s muffled. 

 

Wangji knows he probably shouldn’t be taking it so personally, but he really can’t help but feel like he’s a bigger factor in why things are so incredibly chaotic right now. Xichen raises his head once more, looking tired, but when he looks at Wangji’s face, his gaze clears. 

 

“Didi, no,” he says sternly. “I’m not talking about you. None of this is your fault.”

 

That is objectively false. Wangji glances at the bassinet that holds A-Yuan’s little body. Xichen follows his gaze and sighs. 

 

“Most of it,” he corrects himself, but now he sounds distracted, gaze caught on the bedding. 

 

There’s a long silence as Xichen keeps his gaze pinned there. 

 

“So the baby is real,” he says softly, almost a whisper, but not quite. 

 

“Yup,” Wei Ying says, but he sounds nervous. Tense. 

 

“He is a calm baby,” Wangji says, perhaps in an attempt to defend A-Yuan’s existence. 

 

Xichen looks back at Wangji with a slight smile. 

 

“So were you,” he says with a slight nod. 

 

In the corner of Wangji's eye, he sees Wei Yig has started picking at his fingerbeds. 

 

“Maiden Jiang implied that the birth was… difficult,” Xichen begins carefully. 

 

“Oh my god, no,” Wei Ying suddenly cries. “Why is that everyone’s first question!? Aiyah!”

 

“I apologize–” Xochen says, startled, but Wei Ying shakes his head. 

 

“No, no, I’m sorry–goddamnit. Sorry. Yes, the birth was bad. It’s all fine, though! I lived!”

 

“You almost didn’t,” Jiang Wanyin cuts in with narrowed eyes. 

 

“Jiang Chenggggg, stop itttt,” Wei Ying covers his eyes, inexplicably embarrassed. 

 

Wei Ying was like that. He was flustered by any show of concern for his health or to give any admittance that it was in danger. 

 

“Wei Ying,” Wangji can’t help but cut in. “Do not downplay it.”

 

Wei Ying grimaces. 

 

“It doesn’t matter now. A-Yuan is healthy, I’ll be back to one hundred soon, it’s…”

 

Wangji’s patience runs out, and he reaches over to hold Wei Ying’s hand. He does not care that they are in public anymore. They will be married soon, anyway; it will be good for people to begin getting used to it. 

 

Wei Ying looks up at him in surprise, then pink spreads across his cheeks as he blinks furiously. 

 

“Wei-gonzi,” Xichen says, frowning. He bows. “I apologize, on behalf of the Lan sect.”

 

“Ah!” Wei Ying lets out a little shriek. “No! No bowing!”

 

“Yes, bowing!" Jiang Wanyin snaps. “You don’t know the half of it, Wei Wuxian! He’s not just apologizing to you!”

 

Wangji narrows his eyes at Jiang Wanyin’s tone, but Wei Ying doesn’t seem to be cowed by it. He just turns to his brother with a confused expression.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Lan Qiren,” Jiang Wanyin spits, “has been a pain in the fucking ass. He insulted you, he insulted us by implying we were lying about A-Yuan, he’s refusing to let you two get married!”

 

“Again,” Xichen says quieter, still bowing. He inclines himself down a little deeper. “I am sorry. To the Jiang Sect, and to you especially, Wei Wuxian.”

 

“That old goat has never liked me anyway, it’s not–it’s not a big deal!”

 

Wangji squeezes Wei Ying’s hand. The Jiang disciple shoots him an annoyed look. 

 

“Really, Lan Zhan, it’s fine!”

 

“It is not fine,” Xichen says firmly, finally coming back up to sit properly. 

 

“Thank you for the apology,” Wangji inclines his head. 

 

Xichen just shoots him a tired smile.

“Oh, Wangji. The things you get yourself into, Didi. Though I suppose things could have gone worse. How are you processing all of this? You’ve met your baby? A-Yuan, right?”

 

Wangji nods. He feels his ears heat. At least Brother doesn’t seem truly upset at him. 

 

“He wouldn’t let him go! Truly a doting father!” Wei Ying brags, a smile lighting up his whole face. 

 

At the sound of Wei Ying’s words, something seems to settle in Xichen’s demeanor. He looks softened, relieved. 

 

“Oh?” Brother says, matching a little of Wei Ying’s brightness. “Wangji has always loved the little shidi’s back home. I can’t say I'm too surprised, but it is still nice to hear.”

 

“He is so small,” Wangji can’t help but say softly. Xichen’s eyes tighten a bit, something melancholic coming over his expression. “You should see him, Brother. Wei Ying did the best job.”

 

Wei Ying turns red again.

“I barely even did anything,” he grumbles. “Except be a fool.”

 

Lan Wangji gives him a subtle reprimanding look. 

 

Xichen seems to have been lost to his own thoughts for a moment, and doesn’t say anything for a long while. Then he bows his head. 

 

“May I… May I meet the baby?”

 

Wangji feels Wei Ying’s fingers tense. 

 

“Ah,” he says, and stops, because if it were up to him, he would let Xichen meet A-Yuan in a heartbeat, but he is not A-Yuan’s only father. 

 

“It’s alright if you say no,” Xichen hurries to say. “These past few days have been stressful. I understand if you would rather wait.”

 

Wangji looks over at Wei Ying. There’s a strange expression on his face. Wangji is eventually able to place it as anxious. It’s clear to see through the furrowing of his brows, the thin press of his lips, and the way he’s looking down at his lap. There is a strange wrinkling of his eyes… he looks fragile. 

 

“Wei Ying,” Wangji says softly, trying to reel him back into the conversation.

“Yes? Sorry, sorry, of course. Zewu-jun, if you give me a moment, I can–”

 

“Wei Ying,” Wangji calls once more, this time more firmly. The other looks at him, expression vulnerable. 

 

He glances at Xichen, then at Jiang Wanyin, then back at Wangji, and then back at his lap again. 

 

“I… I’m sorry. I don’t think I…”

 

“It is alright,” Wangji tells his beloved, and he means it, but Wei Ying just shakes his head. 

 

“No, it’s–it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just–”

 

Wei Ying shakes his shoulders, as if trying to shake off the negative feelings he’s experiencing. 

 

“Sorry. When A-Yuan was born, he… When Madame Yu found out, she took him from me by force. I just… when others hold him, I…”

 

It takes Wangji a moment, but he pieces together the rest. Wei Ying is afraid of others not giving A-Yuan back. Of them holding him by force. 

 

“Wei-gongzi, I understand,” Xoichen says with a sympathetic smile. “I do not have to hold him. I suppose I just… wanted to see him, is all.”

 

Wei Ying’s shoulders fall a bit. He smiles, though it’s dimmer than usual. 

 

“You can come closer, then. He’s in his bassinet. He sleeps very well, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still dreaming his little baby dreams.”

 

Xichen scrutinizes Wei Ying for a long moment. Then he nods. He makes his way carefully over, quiet and pensive, and peers into the bassinet. 

 

Wangji can see the exact moment Xichen lays his eyes on A-Yuan properly, because his mouth drops open a little, and his entire body goes lax. His eyes widen, something akin to wonder inside of them. 

 

“Oh,” he breathes, sounding a little breathless. 

 

Wei Ying’s tense smile softens, something raw taking over. He looks suddenly teary. 

 

Xichen doesn’t take his eyes off A-Yuan, completely still in his spot next to the bassinet. He raises a hand, but stops, perhaps afraid to touch. 

 

“How old is he?” Xichen whispers. 

 

“Four days,” Wei Ying responds. “He looks like it, doesn’t he? He’s still all wrinkled.”

 

Xichen nods. He shakes his head. 

 

“Forgive me; I am not accustomed to seeing babies so young. We have not had a birth close to the family in many years.”

 

Wei Ying nods.

“He wasn’t expected, but he’s the most adorable baby I have ever seen, so it makes up for it.”

 

Xichen keeps staring at the baby. His breath hitches. He leans in closer. 

 

Then he smiles. A bright, dazzling thing. It is a relief to see it, after Brother being so subdued. 

 

“Wangji,” he says, and he almost sounds like an excited child, voice light and giddy. “Wangji, he has your eyes!”

 

Wangji peers inside the bassinet to see that A-Yuan has revealed his golden orbs through a bleary gaze. 

 

“That’s your baby, alright,” Xichen says, hands going to clutch at the edge of the bassinet. 

 

“Did you doubt, Zewu-jun?” Wei Ying says. He looks a little wary, though he hides it with a jovial tone. 

 

“No,” Xichen shakes his head almost immediately. “Not even once.”

 

Xichen looks up from A-Yuan’s little form and gives Wei Ying a half-smile. 

 

“Wei-gongzi, my brother has been in love with you since the day he laid his eyes on you. There was never going to be any other sire for this baby.”

 

Wei Ying blinks.

Then he turns as red as cinnabar. 

 

Wangji feels his own ears heat up terribly, almost like a heat flash. 

 

“Xichen,” Wangji hisses, flustered. 

 

His brother just raises an eyebrow, gaze flitting to A-Yuan and back. 

 

“I need some water? I think I need water,” Wei Ying says, fanning himself.

 

Jiang Wanyin leaves his perch at the front of his room to get the pitcher of water, wearing a long-suffering expression.

 

“Wangji,” Xichen says with a soft expression. “He’s beautiful. Truly.”

 

Wangji feels his eyes turn glassy. He tries to will himself to stay level, to not have an improper, undue reaction. It was in the rules, after all. ‘No exaggerated displays of emotion .’

 

“You could have stood to wait in having him,” Xichen tilts his head, teasing. 

 

“A bit more planning would have been nice,” Wei Ying agrees, still cooling off, sipping his bowl of water. 

 

“Xichen,” Wangji says suddenly. Xichen gives him an encouraging motion with his head. “Brother. Wei Ying and I, we wish to get married.” 

 

Brother’s smile turns into more of a grimace. He doesn’t say anything for a long moment. 

“Are you sure?” he eventually says. It feels like he is saying it more out of necessity than anything. 

 

“Mn,” Wangji says, absolutely resolute. 

 

Brother nods at him, then turns to Wei Ying, who has gone still and is staring at Lan Xichen with an unreadable expression. 

 

“Wei-gongzi, is this also what you want?”

 

Wei Ying doesn’t respond for a long moment. His grip on the bowl in his hands is so tight that Wangji can see white in his fingers. He is gripped by a sudden doubt, a sudden fear that Wei Ying has changed his mind. 

 

“Zewu-jun,” Wei Ying croaks, then clears his throat. “I… I think that if Lan Zhan married me, I think I would die of happiness.”

 

Brother is silent, considering. Wei Ying lets out a little puff of a laugh and continues talking. 

 

“Your brother… ever since I met him, I think I’ve been completely obsessed with him? Forgive me, Zewu-jun, this one tends to be a bit of a fool.”

 

“Not a fool,” Wangji tells Wei Ying sternly. He narrows his eyes at him. 

 

“Ah, Lan Zhan is too kind,” Wei Ying huffs. 

 

He looks away in thought. 

 

“To l-love Lan Zhan, it feels like… to breathe air. That’s why I didn’t realize it for so long. My love for him became such an integral part of me that I didn’t think too much about it, didn’t even try to pick it apart. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and I will love Lan Zhan until the day I die.”

 

Wei Ying turns to look at Wangji, and his gaze is molten, deep-searching, something that Wangji wants to see in his face every day, all of the time, and something Wangji will treasure always, wishing it to be immortalized so he can gaze upon it whenever. 

 

He is a little scared by that feeling. 

 

Wangji, for a long time, thought he would spend his life alone. He was fine with it. Logically, he knows he was probably lonely before Wei Ying, but those things, feelings, and similar, are always so hard to look in the face, to identify, to name. 

 

When he met Wei Ying, the world opened up. It was like a thawing, a realization, a revelation. It was terrifying. The insides of him were suddenly ravenous, wanting to take Wei Ying and never let go of him, to have him poke and prod at Wangji forever. It was worth it because Wei Ying made him feel all these feelings . It was overwhelming. It was wonderful.

 

He could never have imagined Wei Ying would want to stay. He never thought that he would have tucked that one night alongside himself so intricately, alongside all other days they spent together, that he would have described it so. Like breathing.

 

Lan Wangji is terrified that if he pinches himself, he will wake from this dream. So he doesn’t. He just stares back, at his soulmate, his ziji . 

 

Wei Ying eventually looks away, clearing his throat once more. He looks back at Brother and shrugs. 

 

“So… yes. To marry Lan Zhan is what I want, always.”

 

Xichen looks… strange. Almost a little choked by what he’s feeling. 

 

“I see,” he says finally, softly. 

 

He doesn’t speak for a moment. 

 

“Then it will be done.”

 

Wangji’s eyes widen. 

 

“Brother,” he starts, stilted, a little shocked. 

 

“Wangji,” Brother says, more of an exhale than anything. “There is no other alternative. You are Ziji. You are in love. You both have a child.”

 

“It is not just because of A-Yuan,” Wangji can’t help but say, wanting to be clear. 

 

“I know. This is…”

 

Xichen’s lips turn up a bit at the corners. 

 

“It’s a bit of a dream come true for me. For the universe to have given you a Ziji. It is, perhaps, all I have ever wanted for you, Wangji. For you to be happy like this.”

 

Xichen stands and comes over to Wangji’s side once more. He sits close, gaze filled with affection, and fondness, and a subtle form of joy. 

 

“Didi,” he says, and outstretches his arms. “May this older brother please give you a hug?”

 

Wangji nods mutely, overwhelmed, words stuck in his throat. Brother pulls him in, gripping tightly and crushingly. It is the best hug he has ever received. It unlocks something in Wangji’s chest, and he feels tears spring to his eyes once more. 

 

Brother has always known what Wangji needs, all without words. He has always been there. Always.

 

“Not to be a killjoy,” they all hear after a long moment of hugging. It’s Jiang Wanying. Brother pulls back to look at him. Wangji begrudgingly does the same. 

 

Jiang Wanyin is glaring at the three of them, arms crossed. 

 

“But how, exactly, is this going to happen? Lan-gongzi, you are not your Uncle. You don't have the power to give them your blessing. All I hear is talk.”

 

“Jiang Cheng!” Wei Ying says, sounding a little frazzled. 

 

Xichen’s eyes have furrowed. 

 

“You are right, Jiang-gongzi. I do not have the authority to approve their contract.”

 

He sighs. 

 

“I must apologize once more. I have become… complacent. Too used to leaving these sorts of things to Uncle and the elders.”

“Brother, it is not your–”

 

“No, Wangji,” Xichen cuts in, shaking his head. He pauses, thinking. 

 

“I am not a sect leader yet. I cannot give you both–give the three of you the ending you deserve.”

 

Something changes in Xichen’s gaze. It hardens. 

 

“... Officially, anyway.”

 

It is an awfully foreboding phrase. 

Notes:

That was the calm! (Before the storm.) I bit the bullet and plotted out the next two chapters because they were giving me trouble. Before this, I was pantsing LOL I was making it up as I went along. Welp.

Everyone, strap in for Lan Qiren's incoming qi deviation!

Tell me what you liked, what your favorite part was, etc.!

Chapter 10: Interlude

Summary:

Meanwhile...

(Sometimes to win the war, you lose a battle or two.)

(Or do you?)

Notes:

Sorry guys, the last few days have been crazy. Had to break my two-day update streak T^T

We might switch over to three days, just because it's more feasible for me to write 3k-5k in three days than two. This chapter is a little smaller than usual just bc... reasons lolol.

Alright! Let's get into it!

Meanwhile…

 

“I owe you and the Jiang Clan nothing!” Lan Qiren responds, still closed off and unmoving. Yanli can still see his fingers trembling, however, so she doesn't tag him as completely unaffected. 

 

Yanli thinks for a moment. 

 

There is a very big chance that she will lose the battle with Lan Qiren, but that doesn’t mean the loss of the war. It was good to divide her eggs into multiple baskets. Hopefully, she had not been incorrect in sending Lan Xichen his brother's way. 

 

In the face of a valuable ally won, perhaps it’s time to set down the fight against this enemy. The decision carries risk, but if Lan Xichen is anything like her…

 

Jiang Yanli sighs. 

 

“If you refuse to cooperate with us, then it is time for you to go. We can have a disciple escort you out. Thank you for your visit.” 

 

The preparation for departure of the Lan disciples should give Lan Xichen more than enough time to reconvene with his brother and figure out what he wants to do about the matter. 

 

Jiang Yanli gets up and begins to call over a servant, but Lan Qiren slams a hand down onto the table. 

 

“I will not be leaving without Wangji!”

 

“He is not here,” Jiang Yanli says cooly. 

 

“My nephew has an unmatched core,” Lan Qiren snaps. “You would have me believe he did not make it here?”

 

Jiang Yanli says nothing, just clasps her hands together and presses her lips. 

 

“You want to know something?” Mother finally cuts in, snapping her fingers as if suddenly remembering something. It’s all for show, Yanli knows this. Her mother is nothing if not dramatic. She peers at her. Mother is looking back, gaze knowing. 

 

The Violet Spider refocuses back to Lan Qiren. 

 

“I find it unerringly peculiar that the Lan Clan would have no qualms locking away their family members behind sect-grade wards.”

 

“My Lady,” Father says, startled. He knows what Mother has just said is impolite. It brings into question the Lan tendency towards maltreatment of their own family. 

 

Jiang Yanli resists the urge to sigh. Her father was always unbearably passive.

 

“There is a peculiar story I heard quite a few years ago,” Mother continues snidely, eyes locked onto Lan Qiren. 

 

“Gossip is forbidden,” Lan Qiren growls. 

 

“Not in the Jiang Clan,” Madame Yu says, smirking. “The story was thus: the reason Madame Lan was never seen or introduced to the cultivation world was because she was a prisoner in the Lan sect.”

 

Lan Qiren stills. 

 

His whole face turns a deep shade of red. His whole body starts to shake in offense. 

 

“You dare. ”

 

“Wife!” Father says.

 

Jiang Yanli just takes a step back, observing, calculating. She tries to keep her posture straight, wanting to avoid showing her interest. If what Mother is saying is true, this… might explain some things. 

 

“I, and others, of course, wrote it off as petty rumours. The Lan are oh, so righteous , are they not? They would surely be incapable of such foul behavior.”

 

Mother looks savage. She looks a bit like when she comes back from a night hunt: overtly satisfied in her victory. 

 

“You have no right ,” Lan Qiren is seething tightly, whole body coiled in rage. 

 

“I did some digging,” Madame Yu says, leaning forward, a little unhinged. “There was a rogue cultivator back then. A beautiful one. They said she had hailed from the Yu clan, isn't that funny ?”

 

Mother takes her cup of tea into her hands, the picture of an elegant lady. 

 

“She struck out on her own, working under a false name, and lived a blissful five years before disappearing entirely, never to be found.”

 

“Wife, stop. Enough,” Father tries once more. 

 

Yanli just stares. A foreboding feeling has started to creep up her spine. 

 

“No!” Mother finally snaps. “This ingrate, this mongrel, thinks he can come into our sect and insult us to our faces!? In our own home!? He thinks he can spit in the face of our daughters' courtesy and consideration!?”

 

“What consideration! What courtesy!?” Lan Qiren spits out. “There has been none! Just lies and accusations! The Lan Clan won't forget this! Forget trade! Forget secular cooperation!”

 

“Oh, so now it's your idea, right!?” Mother roars at him. “Now the reason everything is falling apart is because of us , and not because of you and your disgusting conduct!?”

 

“Mother,” Yanli cuts in sharply. “The rogue cultivator. Finish the story.”

 

Mother looks at her. There is a dark satisfaction in her gaze. In this, they are united. 

 

“They said she committed a crime,” Mother finally begins to finish winding down the story, glaring. “A crime that the Lan saved and punished her for all at once.”

 

Madame Yu’s lip curls. 

 

“Perhaps her crime was bearing a child out of wedlock, if that is enough for Grandmaster Lan to lock his own nephew away.”

 

“You do not know what you speak of,” Lan Qiren says, still looking quite murderous. 

 

“Is this why you locked Lan-er-gongnzi away?” Yanli asks, expression blank. 

 

“No! It was for his own good!”

 

“So he wouldn't repeat his mother's mistakes? Or his father's?” 

 

Yanli is confident, if not a little heartbroken, as she says the words. The story her mother has painted… it has left a sour feeling in her stomach, a tenseness in her chest. Jiang Yanli has the distressingly sure feeling this must be the truth. Her mother would not have brought it up if it weren't. 

 

“Silence!” Lan Qiren screams, incensed. 

 

There is silence. 

 

Lan Qiren's breathing is uneven. She shoots a glance at the servants and nods her head. They understand her immediately and rush off to get a healer.

 

“I will not allow my nephew,” Lan Qiren gasps out, “to be trapped. In any way! I will not allow him to go astray, not now, not ever!”

 

Jiang Yanli walks over, eyes flat. 

 

“So you trapped him first?” She says quietly, voice dead.

 

Lan Qiren stares at her. The veins in his neck protrude, and he almost looks like he's about to reach over and strangle her.

 

“Qiren,” Father cuts in suddenly, expression… strange. Yanli is startled to hear him call Grandmaster Lan something so casual. “It would do you well to calm down.”

 

“That's easy for you to say, isn't it?” Lan Qiren says venomously to Father. “For me to calm down, as if my sect hasn't been insulted by your witch of a wife!”

 

“Do not call my wife a witch,” Father says, voice still flat and almost… disappointed. 

 

“This is how you raise your children? This is how you allow your wife to act, like a teenage wench braying for blood and gossip!?”

 

Zidian sparks on mother's hand, but father just stares, eyes dark and distant. 

 

“She would denounce you, if she could see you now.”

 

That is what finally makes Lan Qiren go completely, utterly still. 

 

Yanli watches in fascination. Nothing has gotten to the old man like her father's words. She barely understands what he means, but Lan Qiren seems to grasp it perfectly. 

 

“You…” Lan Qiren says.

 

“This is how you repay her,” Father says, eyes distant, uncharacteristic for him. He’s not smiling. “For what she did for us?”

 

“This is not about her!”

 

“Is it not?” Father says. He is acting out of character, yes, but is still speaking with the same level of detachment as always, without too much emotion. “You did not even look, Qiren.”

“You call me Grandmaster Lan!” Lan Qiren spits out.

 

Yanli has lost the thread of conversation. So has her mother, from the way she keeps turning back and forth from the two speaking parties with a dark, annoyed expression on her face. 

 

“It was not my duty!” Lan Qiren continues. “Why would I look!?”

 

“Of course you would say that,” Father says in resignation. 

 

Something has changed in Mother’s face. Zidan has started crackling even louder, and she suddenly looks quite upset. She turns to Father in fury. 

 

“I think we have heard quite enough,” Jiang Yanli takes control again, sensing conflict. “Again, Grandmaster Lan, it is time for you to–”

 

“To leave!? Yes, I think it is! Where is Xichen!? I will not stand to put myself even five more minutes of your continued presence!"

 

With that, the past turns to the present, and the doors to the meeting hall open. A servant comes in and bows.

 

“Zewu-jun and Jiang-gongzi have returned,” they say, eyes averted. 

 

“Let them in,” Jiang Yanli says, nodding. 

 

She hopes Lan-gongzi has been brought up to speed, for her sake. 

 

Lan Xichen enters the room with a straight back, his arm hidden behind his waist. His gaze is cool, collected. Determined. 

 

“Uncle. We should talk.”

 

“We are leaving!” Lan Qiren spits, standing. “Tell the disciples! We will go search for Wangji!”

 

Lan Xichen glances at Jiang Yanli. His gaze seems searching. 

 

Jiang Yanli does not know what he’s planning, but she nods. In some things, you must let the rope go. 

 

Lan Xichen turns his gaze back to his uncle and says, the picture-perfect image of a filial young master:

 

“There is no need. I have already found him.”

 

Notes:

So like. I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know if this is good, and at the end of the day, this is my for-fun fic as I write my MDZS transmigrator behemoth. That being said, if people are OOC, please let me know! If it ever gets into territory where what characters are doing or saying outright breaks the immersion, tell me in the comments so I can revise it! I will eventually come back and edit everything, lol, I'm just cranking out the chapters for now and seeing where this thread leads me.

Anyway, go Xichen, go! Fuck him up!

(I'm sorry for the cliff hanger, but also like, I'm not? LMAOOOO)

Chapter 11: Crecendo (Deviation)

Summary:

Xichen enters the ring. This only serves to make the result more explosive.

Jiang Yanli finally snaps.

Notes:

I'm so sorry. I lost the sauceeee
Enjoy ig T^T

 

When Xichen was young, he would visit his mother every month. 

 

He and Wangji would go together. Perhaps Wangji only remembers echoes, now, of her smile, her tired eyes, her fierce look of fury when she thought they weren’t looking, directed at the elders who would come and drop him and his little brother off with a derisive expression. Xichen always tried to let Wangji soak up as much of their mother’s love as possible, knowing he was younger and different, that he needed it more. 

 

Wangji may remember echoes, but Xichen remembers his mother. 

 

He doesn’t remember her better, he thinks, just more. She loved Minshan wine, though she never had any after her marriage to his father; she held rambutan fruit in the highest regard, and she did not like to garden. The gentians outside her home had been her most hated flower. She told him stories of how her sisters used to paint her face with color before nighthunts, things here and there about the family she left behind, never saying their names. 

 

Maybe she did. If that is the case, he does not remember. 

 

Above all else, he remembers her tired, gaunt gaze. It was haunted by regrets. 

 

Xichen has always wondered if Wangji and he were among them. Mother always treated them gently, but sometimes she would pull away, eyes distant and quiet, and almost fearful. She gave them kisses and hugs and love, but only the amount she was capable of, depending on her mood and disposition. Sometimes it was very little, all things considered. She would sit and give them snacks and stare with a tired smile until Wangji laughed or Xichen cried, and then her gaze would be brought back to life once more, and she would be present again. 

 

Xichen is older now. He knows things. Awful things. He knows the way the world works. 

 

Uncle is silent. He’s been stunned into it, still breathing heavily. The room has followed his lead, everyone stilling their movements, all of them staring at him. 

 

Jiang Yanli looks a little tense. She is the only one not gaping or trying to cover their mouth. There is uncertainty in her stance, but she nods again anyway. Xichen is grateful for the trust–it cannot be anything else. She takes a step back, passing him the baton and counting on him to win this race. 

 

Xichen is seen as a smiling, kindhearted, diplomatic man. It is not necessarily a perception he has taken on willingly. He supposes people just naturally came to the conclusion over time, looking at Xichen and his demeanor. Always bright, such an opposite to Wangji, to his silent, detached brother. 

 

Xichen thought he was fine with that. He thought he could afford to be that. To be smiling and diplomatic. 

 

“Where is he!?” Uncle belows, finally at the end of his rope. 

 

“Where he should be,” Xichen responds. He turns to the Jiang family. “This one thanks the Jiang Clan for caring for my brother. I have assessed his health as he was not well when he arrived. The Lan Clan will be forever in your debt.” He tops it off with a bow.

 

Sect Leader Jiang looks shocked. Madame Yu looks… not as expressive as her husband, but still quite bemused. 

 

“How dare you thank them!?” Uncle protests. 

 

“How dare you not?” Xichen responds clinically. “They’re the reason Wangji still lives. If they hadn’t gotten him medical attention, Wangji could have very well died from exhaustion."

 

“He would not have–”

 

“Yes, he would have,” Xichen says forcefully, a concoction of emotions running through him. He didn’t like this, didn’t like going against his uncle in anything, but…

 

“You cannot continue to ignore reality like this,” Xichen says, stepping forward, attempting a rational approach. Perhaps he could get him to see logic. 

 

“Now you turn against me!? Wangji would not have–”

 

“Uncle, enough! Why do you insist on denying this!? Wangji has confirmed the child is his! He is with the baby and his ziji at this very moment!”

 

“They are not ziji !”

 

“Says who!?” Xichen says, eyes narrowed. “You have sway over the heavens, now? You decide fate at your whim!?"

 

“Wait. Lan-gongzi, pardon my interruption. Your brother… he is willing to marry Wei Wuxian?” Madame Yu cuts in, looking thoughtful. 

 

Xichen doesn’t take a steadying breath because it would show weakness, even though he really wants to.

“Yes,” Xichen confirms. “He is willing.”

 

“Lies!”

 

Uncle is shaking with fury, denial deep in his eyes. Xichen kind of wants to throttle him. 

 

“It isn’t. You know it isn’t, Uncle, and I know you have never liked it, but what is the problem, exactly? Why are you so vehement that Wangji and Wei-gongzi should not be together!?"

 

Uncle has no response. Something strange passes over his face. 

 

Xichen shakes his head. 

 

“I am sorry. I cannot guarantee a contract now, since I am not yet sect leader. One way or another, however, a marriage is bound to happen.”

 

“Pretty words, Lan-gongzi, but I will not have my head disciple running around without a claim, to be mocked and degraded. A lack of matrimony will be detrimental for both our reputations,” Madame Yu states, matter-of-factly.

 

“My mother is right,” Jiang Yanli says, sighing. “I will not have others insult my brother. I expect you would not like it for your sibling, either.”

 

“I would not,” Xichen confirms. “But I know Wangji. I would be more offended than he.”

 

“I still would like to avoid this possibility,” Jiang Yanli says, shaking her head. “A-Xian is not so easy to dismiss comments towards those he loves. Perhaps he would not be so stricken for himself, but if Lan-er-gongzi were to be treated differently because of their situation, he would not take it well.”

 

Xichen has to admit she has a point. Thinking about it, Wangji would not like it if the same were to happen to Wei Wuxian in front of him. 

 

Lan Xichen closes his eyes deeply and sighs. Then, facing away from his Uncle, he mouths the word ‘ elopement’.

 

Jiang Yanli’s eyes widen. Then she glares. 

 

Xichen gives her a helpless look, hoping she realizes just how little power he has right now. She twists her mouth. It makes her look scarily similar to her mother. 

 

“Wangji will not marry!” Uncle finally deigns to speak again.

 

“Uncle–” Xichen starts, patience running thin. He resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

 

“I forbid it!”

 

“That is not your decision to make!” Xichen tells him, fed up. “Wangj is the second heir; his match does not have to be political, and he has succeeded in the requirement of having offspring against all odds. Did you ever think Wangji would fall in love? I did not! Yet it has happened, and he has found someone who makes him happy. How could you deny him this!?”

 

“They have known each other for a year! Wangji is young; he does not know how fickle emotions can be!”

 

“Do you really think Wangji won’t defect if you deny him a marriage to the love of his life?” Xichen says, lips pressed thinly together. “Do you not think I have thought about this at all? You know how stubborn he is!”

 

“You seek to reward that behavior!?

 

“I seek to make it so my brother does not remove himself from our lives permanently over this!”

 

“Wangji does not know what he seeks!”

 

“Uncle,” Xichen says, simmering in anger. “I have watched Wangji moon over Wei Wuxian since the first day of lectures. He has made five new compositions that sound like he’s being haunted by a lovelorn ghost, not to mention the other ten drafts he thinks I haven’t heard him play at night! For every letter he has sent Wei-gongzi, three more sit in his drawer with hanzi scribbled out furiously across the pages! His calligraphy in those letters would make all literary teachers in the Lan clan weep with awe. He keeps all of the drawings Wei-gongzi has gifted him in a box under his floorboards. He has a list! Of Wei-gongzi’s favorite places and things! I found a page that was just multiple different chilli oil vendors, with their prices and reputations! There is a bag under his desk filled with trinkets, I am sure are meant to be courting gifts just, just sitting there!”

 

There is a stunned sort of silence for a while. Xichen shuts his eyes in regret. 

 

“No one tell Wangji I just said that.”

 

Jiang Yanli steps forward, a hand over her mouth. She’s surely hiding a smile. Xichen can tell through her eyes. 

 

“I did not know Lan-er-gongzi was so besotted with my brother. I will say, A-Xian has been similar. Ever since his return from the lectures, he has mentioned Lan Wangji at least thrice a day.”

 

“More than thrice! He won’t shut up about him and his eyes or his hair or his fucking swordmanship!” Jiang Wanyin chimes in from the back of the room. He has been silent up until now, though Xichen appreciates his addition, if only to reassure himself of Wei Wuxian’s supposed regard for Xichen’s brother. He truly hopes he's doing the right thing here. 

 

“What is the harm for them to marry, Uncle? Ten months ago, I thought Wangji would be tied to marriage through us making arrangements, and I thought he would be cold and distant from that potential spouse until the day he died. Is it so wrong of me to want something better for him? To want to see him happy and fulfilled and bright?”

 

Uncle is silent. He is unbearably silent.

“I will not,” he says, and finally, his voice is trembling. “Allow another one of my own to fall victim to obsession .”

Xichen rears back, shocked. 

“... That is what you think this is!?” Xichen finally explodes, horribly offended. It feels like someone has dug a knife into his chest. It feels like Uncle has slapped him for no reason.

“I do not think it. I know so!”

 

With that, for the first time in many, many years, Lan Qiren unsheathes his sword and begins to stride out of the meeting hall. 

 

Xichen’s stomach sinks to hell. 

 

“Where are you going!?” He yelps, going to follow. 

 

“I am going to find my nephew and put a stop to this insanity!”

 

“Who are you to threaten the Jiang Clan!?” Madame Yu is yelling. 

 

“Qiren, put the sword away!” Jiang Fengmian is saying desperately

 

“Uncle, stop!” Xichen screams, to no avail. He tries to grab onto his Uncle’s sleeve, his arm, anything , but Uncle just shoves him off with so much force it leaves Xichen staggering. 

 

With the distance, Xichen is able to see Uncle’s trajectory clearly. 

 

He’s going to the infirmary. 

 

Xichen rushes to try to catch up to him again. Uncle is like a flurry of robes and anger, his mostly unused sword glinting in the light of the lanters set out by the Jiang disciples. 

 

Uncle knows exactly where the Jiang infirmary is, Xichen realizes with a chill. Why wouldn’t he? The Jiang Clan has held multiple discussion conferences in the past, and in those, they have organized joint night-hunts, for which they have provided first aid as necessary. It was the first thing one was told about, to make sure to know where the healing rooms are. 

 

Xichen scrambles forward, much more frantic than before.

“Stop! Uncle, you can’t do this!”

 

“Neither of you knows what is good for you, you never have! I will not let history repeat itself!”

“It isn’t like that!” Xichen yells, but his Uncle doesn’t listen. He tries again to drag the older man backwards, to try and stop him from doing something he’ll regret. 

Some Jiang disciples, older-looking ones, have spotted them and have started trying to hold Uncle back as well, without touching him, since he is of a higher status. Xichen wishes they didn’t care about that right now, that they would get his Uncle to stop advancing !

 

“If this was truly by fate, if this was truly by design, then it wouldn’t have happened like this!” Uncle snarls as he reaches the healing rooms and begins to kick doors open. 

 

Lan Xichen feels like knocking his uncle out with a hut to the head to put a stop to the utter humiliation his Uncle is putting him through right now. 

 

“Uncle–Uncle, please !”

 

As Uncle kicks open more doors, a few jiang disciples are revealed, all blearily looking at the door to their rooms, alarmed. Xichen knows they will have to pay reparations after this; he just does . 

 

“It isn’t right,” his Uncle has started to mutter to himself as they go, Xichen desperately trying to grasp onto his sleeves to no avail. “It would not happen like this, I will not let it! It isn’t right, not right–”

 

Why did Xichen think this was going to end any other way?

 

At the end of it all, he is just a puppet with no mouth. It is the worst realization he has ever made. He was never going to have any sway. 

 

Uncle gets to a familiar door. Xichen pales. The Jiang siblings both try to block the sliding screen, but they are both shoved out of the way as Uncle grabs the door and throws it to the side, the wooden frame splintering with the force of it. 

 

“Granmaster Lan!” Jiang Yanli shrieks, along with the voices of her parents and brother. Xichen, however, says nothing. 

 

He says nothing because he, being the one behind his uncle, has a direct view of the inside of the room, and what he sees makes his body go numb. 

 

Uncle stops dead at the sight as well. Xichen can only stare himself. The Jiangs go quiet, and a hush falls over the group. Xichen can’t see Uncle’s expression. 

 

He thinks, faintly, that it is probably for the best. 

 

They have indeed come across Wei Wuxian’s healing quarters. Instead of seeing a panicked couple, they have stumbled upon something a bit more chilling. Wei Wuxian is perched behind Wangji, holding a bundle of blankets in his arms, looking terrified. Xichen, at his angle, can spot the hand he has embedded into the torn lapels of Wangji’s robes. Now that it is silent, Xichen can hear the wails of the infant, these harsh, banshee-like sounds. It makes his ears hurt. It makes him want to spear his own uncle through with his sword. 

 

Unfortunately, it looks like Wangji might beat him to it. 

And what a sight Wangji is. 

 

Positioned in front of his fiancée and child, he stands tall, eyes piercing, grip shaking on Subian , Wei Wuxian’s sword. He looks feverish, almost, with beads of sweat forming at his brow, but he’s anything but dazed. He looks, quite frankly, ready to murder. 

 

The worst part is that it doesn’t seem to be born out of anger. It instead seems to be born out of necessity. Xichen thinks that's worse. One always thinks clearer when in the absence of emotion. It makes fights easier to win. 

 

“Stand back,” is all Xichen’s brother says, seemingly forcing the words past his lips. His voice sounds like shards of porcelain. 

 

Xichen’s Uncle says nothing. The moment drags on, tense, danger-filled. 

 

“Wangji,” Uncle gasps, finally, sounding choked, out of breath. 

 

“Don't come any closer," Wangji says, looking at Lan Qiren like a soldier looks at his enemy. Detached, with no emotion; just the focus to kill and neutralize.

 

“You would point a sword at…”

Uncle trails off, voice dying out. His own sword has fallen to his side, almost dragging on the ground. 

 

Wangji barely reacts to his words, but the tells that shine through his demeanor are striking. His eyes… they begin to well up with tears.

 

“You would take them away from me,” Wangji says lowly, never taking his gaze off the older Lan. 

 

This finally seems to get through Uncle’s armor, because he staggers backward. He keeps backing up, in fact, visibly shaking. 

 

When Xichen finally catches sight of his face, his blood freezes in his veins. Uncle's sword clatters onto the ground. 

 

“Help!” Xichen screams out to the Jiang healers, who have stayed back a good distance, unsure of how to handle the tenuous diplomatic situation. They all come to attention and run over. 

 

Xichen is able to run back to his uncle just in time to catch him as he collapses onto the floor. 

—

 

“That went terribly,” Jiang Cheng says from Jiang Yanli’s side.

Yanl just blinks rapidly as a group of healers stabalize an uncouncious Lan Qiren. He’s spewed blood all over the front of his robes. 

 

“You passed on my message?” she says.

“ Yes , jiejie, I passed on the message. There are three disciples at the doorway of Wei Wuxian’s healing room and three others at the window.”

Good, Jiang Yanli thinks. Now that things are out in the open, everything should be much easier. The contract part was probably still going to ber a pain to cement, though.

 

“How are they?” she asks quietly. Her parents are to the side, arguing. Like always. Lan Xichen is perched to the side of his uncle, making medical decsions for him. He looks serious and thin-lipped.

 

“How do you think, Jiejie? Fucking terrified.”

 

Jiang Yanli sighs.

 

“Go keep them company, A-Cheng. I’ll take it from here.”

 

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, but nods. He leaves.

 

Once he’s out of the room, it takes very little time for her parents to zero in on her role in all of this. Her mother comes storming towards her, Father close behind, though of course not as incenced-looking. Mother takes her arm and drags her outsuide, closing the sliding door.

 

“What the hell did you do?” she hisses, viper-like. 

 

“What I said I would,” Jiang Yanli says, though her limbs have started shaking. “Let go of my arm.”

“You want to talk back to me when you’ve erred so profoundly? What the hell has gotten into you!? You’ve made a mess, Yanli, a mess!”

“I have not,” Yanli growls. “All I’ve done are the things that you are too afraid to do!”

 

Mother’s face makes a scary expression. It looks eerily similar to the one she wears when she's about to strike with Zidan.

“My Lady, enough,” Father says gently, carefully placing a hand on mother’s arm to try and get her to let go of Yanli. Mother rips it away before he can get far, avoiding his touch with a gnashing of teeth. “Yanli should have kept us involved and told us when Lan Wangji arrived, but this treatment isn’t warranted."

 

“We have a diplomatic incident the size of a heavenly beast on our hands, and you’re still insisting on being your weak, soft self!?” Mother barks.

 

“Yanli,” Father says, ignoring Mother. “Why did you not tell us Lan Wangji was in Yunmeng?”

“I was not hiding it purposefully," Yanli finally says, feeling exhaustion seep into her bones. “I meant for Lan Wangji and A-Xian to have a day of rest and a day to talk before bringing it to your attention. I wanted to make sure a marriage was something they both wanted.”

 

“It is not about wanting, you stupid girl!” Mother growls. “It is about reputation! About tradition, about taking responsibility!”

“There are other ways to take responsibility!” Yanli says, exasperated. “I will not let my little brother be tied down unwillingly! Especially after how Grandmaster Lan acted today! Do you truly believe they would treat A-Xian fairly!?”

“Wei Wuxian should be grateful for a contract at all!” Mother spits venomously. “Do you not see the trouble he has caused to the sect? To us? He is not your brother!”

 

Jiang Yanli’s face twists. She steps forward threateningly.

“Wei Wuxian,” she says, poison in her words, “Is more my family than you or father ever will be. A-Xian and A-Cheng are mine .”

 

Yanli doesn’t see it coming, but she definitely feels it when Mother slaps her.

 

She holds her cheek, eyes wide. 

 

“I’ve let you get far too brave!”

 

“Wife!” Father barks. Yanli is still blinking rapidly, a bit dazed. She’s never been hit before. 

 

She feels a knot form in her throat.

 

“Listen to me carefully,” Mother snarls, crowding into Yanli’s space, bringing their faces inches apart. “You are going to get yourself out of this involvement. I will fix this situation, and you will stay in your place!”

 

Yanli turns to look her mother in the eye. 

 

“Fuck you,” she says, eyes painfully wide, chin trembling precariously. She means it. She says it with her full chest. “ Fuck. You .”

 

Her father has reared back like he’s the one who's been slapped. Mother’s eyes widen to meet Yanli’s, and she looks a little… it’s a strange expression on her face. She looks like she’s…

 

There’s still anger. She’s still very angry. Yanli doesn’t really care to figure out the little micro movements of her expressions anymore. Yanli feels wild and unmoored; she feels like setting the world on fire.

 

She shoves her mother back. Mother goes mostly out of surprise. She looks indignant, but there’s something else there, too…

 

She looks hurt.

 

This makes the rage in Yanli grow higher.

“I don’t forgive you!” She roars, still clutching her cheek tightly with one hand. “I hate you! I hate you!”

 

Her mother’s eyes widen just that little bit more. Her father looks lost, confused as to how things have turned out this way. 

“Both of you!” Yanli says, and then turns and flees. She’s expecting her mother to follow. She’s expecting a crackling whip to wrap around her wrist and pull her back. 

 

It doesn’t. 

 

Yanli only realizes she’s crying when she takes in the smell of the evening air. 

 

Notes:

I hope JY wasn't too OOC. I think her crash out is warrented. Remember she's 19 and also Yu Ziyuan's daughter. Also sorry guys i didnt write fr this fic in like weeks and i came back and i feel like the last scene was not that goo dbut like at the same time i need ti get back into things somehow. I will edit later ig ;-;

LMK what your favorite part wasssss

Notes:

Hahaha, kill me now.