Chapter Text
Kate used to think about her quite often. Her entire life had changed that winter: she had been on her way to becoming an Avenger, fighting alongside her childhood hero-turned-father figure, and building her life as Kate Bishop, the World’s Greatest Archer. She met new people whom she spent some time with, even if they grew apart later on, but she was too busy to care much back then. Life was pretty fun, even if she said so herself. Her days were filled to the brim, and she didn't have much time to complain about anything. It only made her mind’s fixation all the more embarrassing. Between archery training and settling into her new apartment with Lucky, she couldn’t stop thinking about that bundle of blonde hair.
Her friendships had always been doomed from the start. She was easy to love but hard to keep loving; she knew this. Her one true love had been archery since she was young. Her friends either had very different passions or couldn’t stand the level at which Kate expressed hers. Still, she always kept choosing archery over relationships and never bothered getting too attached. Without archery, Kate wouldn’t be Kate.
So when Kamala Khan sought her out, she felt like she could finally belong somewhere. They would be putting together a group of people like them, people with a gift. A passion. She imagined she wouldn’t have to tiptoe around her love of archery around them, and, as she suspected, she didn’t have to. She finally found a shot at a real connection, all the while getting to play at being a hero. Except, she began to realise just how hard it was to befriend someone like her. Everyone was always away, hanging out with their friend groups or doing their own things. It didn’t help that Kate was the only one of legal drinking age. She tried not to be as stiff a hero as Clint, but most days, she felt like a babysitter. She hadn’t felt old until she slowly felt herself getting out of the loop of TikTok trends or specific lingo. So, eventually, she realised she belonged to the rest of the Young Avengers the way one might relate to a cousin: fun to catch up with, but living a completely different life.
She soon realised that, while they all shared great stories and jokes, ultimately, it was just a job.
Kate hadn’t felt a true connection with anyone in a long while. Not since her. She found a family in Clint. She enjoyed getting drinks with Grills and the others until they all quietly parted ways again for a few months. She was grateful for getting to be a Young Avenger. All of that wasn’t the same, though. None of them was her.
She had expected that after the Clint assassination attempt died down, she would reach out. Kate would walk into her apartment one night, and there she would be. She held on to that hope for a while, thinking about her so much, it became dangerously close to obsessive. She felt like a kid whose parents had made a vague claim to visit Disney “one day”, with no explicit mention of when. She knew there was a chance, and her excitement was ever-present, but the longer the enticing idea dangled in front of her head, the more she lost hope.
Weeks turned into months turned into years, and soon, the thoughts of the blonde became less prominent, only popping up when she saw her name or face somewhere.
In the first months, she had tried to reach out, but the response wasn’t particularly receptive, with the blonde telling her to leave her alone. Kate knew there must have been a mistake. Maybe she had caught her on a bad day? But when her emails stopped going through, she began to fear the worst, like she had fucked up somehow.
The daily thinking simmered down until her old acquaintance hardly crossed her mind again. But then Kate was forced to tolerate the name and face headlining the news for weeks in a row. Who are the New Avengers? Who is Yelena Belova? What is her connection to former Avenger Natasha Romanoff? What are the Russians planning? Is Yelena the leader? Kate felt like a vengeful ex, even though they never dated and hardly even knew each other. But during that first month of Yelena’s unexpected upgrade to an Avenger, she read everything. Everything. Every single article, whether positive or negative. She read so much that whenever she came home from training, she imagined she would pop up again. She was just a grain of sanity away from making a picture shrine of the blonde’s face cut out from each newspaper or magazine. That was Kate’s wake-up call that perhaps she’d been too cooped up in her apartment beyond training.
Her desperate yearning was mixed with a sense of jealousy, too. Why did the blonde get to be a New Avenger while Kate was a Young Avenger? Surely, they were the same age? It irked her even more that the Young Avengers hadn’t officially debuted yet, just going through training after training without any real-life practice. They all had real fighting experience, but the majority of her co-heroes were underage, which complicated things. They wanted real safety in place, as if being an Avenger would ever be a real job. When they got involved with Sam Wilson, the Captain America, things got even more strict, and they were fed tight-lipped insults about the New Avengers, as if brainwashing them into a rivalry.
Little did Sam Wilson know that Kate Bishop was a little lovestruck with the blonde leader of his favourite copyright case.
Just a little, though. Most days, Kate couldn’t tell whether she wanted to be with Yelena or be her. She had never cared about things like that, but Yelena wormed a way into her heart and brain and nestled there, in the back, ever-present even when she had shut her out. It was all fine, just something along the lines of a celebrity crush that waxed and waned, depending on the amount of publicity. It didn’t even matter since the blonde had made it very clear to leave her alone. They would probably never see each other again.
That was, until Yelena Belova showed up in her apartment.
‘Makes you think of the old days, no?’ It was the first thing she said, a smirk plastered on her face.
Kate had changed the locks again ever since Kamala broke in, and audibly groaned seeing the blonde lounging on her sofa. There was no way to protect her New York apartments from nosy heroes.
She sighed, moving past the sofa to place her bags down. It was the end of June, and her apartment was running hot. She’d had to train in 86 degrees, and all she wanted was a fresh shower, not a confrontation with her old acquaintance. Her head was aching enough as it was. She continued to ignore her as she turned on a fan and stood in front of it. Maybe if she squeezed her eyes shut for a minute, she would find no one in her apartment upon reopening them. The blonde was simply a hallucination from the heatstroke she must have caught. Yes. That was it. But then she spoke again, the voice she had memorised over the past years.
‘That is no way to welcome your friend, Kate Bishop.’
‘Friend?’ Kate scoffed, turning around instantly.
Yelena shifted uncomfortably, pushing her chin back into her neck. ‘What’s with the hostility? You want me to go?’
‘Maybe I do!’ Kate blurted out without thinking. When Yelena got up and began to walk off, Kate pinched the bridge of her nose in agitation. ‘Wait.’
‘No, Kate Bishop. You’ve been most welcoming. Hint taken.’
‘Yelena—’ Kate darted forward, grabbing her visitor’s arm. ‘Look. It’s been a long day. Don’t mind me. Sit down. You staying for dinner?’ She felt a bit desperate, not wanting her old acquaintance to slip between the cracks again, disappearing for another two or three years. It didn’t matter how cruelly she had dismissed her emails. She couldn’t pretend she hadn’t wanted to see her again, how she had yearned to hear that thick accent speak her name.
The blonde didn’t look pleased, but then she swallowed her anger and sat back down, holding her head in her hands. She scoffed, almost solemnly. ‘Dinner? Trying to woo me already?’
Kate sat down on the coffee table in front of Yelena. Lucky immediately joined the two women, sitting between their legs, wagging his tail. Kate reached out a hand to scratch his ear, but her visitor beat her to the punch, her black manicured nails immediately finding the best spot. Kate quickly drew back her hand after her fingertips accidentally brushed knuckles. She didn’t want the goosebumps that came from that fleeting, innocent touch, but still, they came.
‘I think he recognises me,’ Yelena smiled softly.
‘At least one of us does.’
Her hand immediately stilled. ‘What does that even mean? Huh?’ Her voice was hoarse, and the corners of her mouth were downturned in an overly dramatic way. She resembled a cartoon character, but not one that made Kate giddy with laughter. She felt a pang in her stomach, though she couldn’t stop herself from running her mouth, pouring out exactly why she was so upset at the unexpected visitor.
‘I mean, you just waltz into my apartment after complete radio silence for years. I thought, after you made the papers as an Avenger, you’d remember little old Kate Bishop. But no. You never bothered to reach out. I thought we were going to be friends. I—’ Kate bit her lip, looking away. All her emotions came flooding back all at once. She could see herself, a few years earlier, gazing out at the couch she was currently sitting on, heart beating with hope. She could see herself the next Christmas after meeting Yelena, shopping for macaroni ingredients at the local grocery store, just in case. She had been foolish. She should have given up hope much earlier; perhaps then, all of the New Avengers articles wouldn’t have affected her so. Clearly, Kate was only ever a job to Yelena.
But then why was Yelena here now? She wondered. Calling herself Kate’s friend, no less.
‘You didn’t reach out, too!’
‘I did!’ Kate unintentionally raised her voice. Her head began to burst, a distracting throbbing gathering just above her eyes. ‘I emailed you!’
Yelena frowned and scrunched her nose. ‘Email? I don’t have email.’
‘Then who has been emailing me back telling me to leave them the fuck alone? Huh?’ Kate let the words fill the air between them. Her visitor didn’t say anything back, only narrowing her eyes in a judgmental fashion. As the words began to get through to her, thanks to the look Yelena gave her, her world stopped for a few seconds. She felt her cheeks heat up, whether from the splitting headache or her stupidity, she could not tell. ‘Oh.’
Both women groaned at the same time.
Kate took out her phone, opening her mailbox. In the folder named “Yelena 🍝”, she opened the email thread and gave her phone to her guest.
From: Kate Bishop ([email protected])
To: Vasily Yelena Belov ([email protected])
Subject: Remember me?
Yelena,
Hey. How have you been? It’s been a while and since we didn’t really exchange numbers, I thought I’d try to reach you here. It took a while to find your contact info. Well, it actually didn’t take that long, just a lot of money and a good internet spy.
It’s been a few months. I know we made plans to meet again but IDK, maybe you forgot about it or maybe you were kidnapped and held captive somewhere and need me to rescue you. Soooo, I figured I should just check in, you know. Just in case. Not that you would have your phone with you if you were actually kidnapped. But like, hit me up anyway. Yeah?
Love,
Kate Bishop
From: Kate Bishop ([email protected])
To: Vasily Yelena Belov ([email protected])
Subject: Clarification
Heyyy
It’s me again. I feel like I should clarify that when I signed off with “love”, I meant that in a “love and kisses, bestie” way, which I suppose doesn’t sound like me at all. It is me, though. Kate Bishop. I promise I’m not a fake trying to scam you into a million dollars so I can pay for my flight. Not that I’m famous or anything but, like, just so you know.
Love? Yours? Kind regards?
Kate Bishop
From: Kate Bishop ([email protected])
To: Vasily Yelena Belov ([email protected])
Subject: Coffee date
Yo yo yo Yelena!
It’s been a while since my first email. Just checking in. Again. Not to sound desperate or whatever.
A new coffee spot opened two blocks away and it’s all vegan but you honestly wouldn’t be able to tell. How about I treat you to a coffee? Some cake? Brunch, if you want! Anything.
If you don’t want to, you can just tell me. I’m a big girl, I can handle it. I just feel like we would totally hit it off if we met up again, you know, outside of fighting. Unless you wanna fight. I’m down. Just please, email me back. I know these emails are getting through.
I just want to be your friend,
Kate
From: Vasily Yelena Belov ([email protected])
To: Kate Bishop ([email protected])
Subject: Re:Coffee date
Оставь меня в покое, блядь
(Automatically translated: Leave me alone.)
From: Kate Bishop ([email protected])
To: Vasily Yelena Belov ([email protected])
Subject: Re:Re:Coffee date
Look, I have no idea what I did wrong. I know you had mixed feelings about Clint and that you’re sad about all that happened to you. But I thought we were over that.
I miss you, Yelena.
Please don’t shut me out.
From: ([email protected])
To: Kate Bishop ([email protected])
Subject: Undelivered Mail Returned to Sender
Delivery has failed to these recipients or groups:
Your message couldn’t be delivered because you weren’t recognized as a valid sender. The most common reason for this is that your email address is suspected of sending spam. Contact your email admin for assistance.
Yelena blinked quietly, looking from the phone to Kate and back. After a good minute in complete silence, she groaned again. ‘Kate Bishop, you are so stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Глупый!’ She dropped the phone onto the couch and grabbed her friend by her shoulders, her nails digging in. ‘Please tell me you did not think this was me?’
‘Of course! I paid a lot of money to find you.’
Yet another groan followed. ‘So you saw the name Vasily Yelena Belov, and thought, yes, that must be my good friend Yelena?’
‘Good friend?’
‘Ты глупый! Your fighting skills make up what you lack in your head, Kate Bishop.’ Yelena sighed and dropped her arms. ‘Obviously, this isn’t me. Firstly, because I would not ignore you—’ She stopped, thinking about that statement for a second, before continuing. ‘Secondly, I am a woman.’
‘I am well aware of this fact.’
‘Like who the fuck is this Vasily Belov?’
‘It actually says Yelena Belov—’
‘Belova! I am Yelena Belova. With a fat “a” at the end. You just harassed a random Russian man over email.’
‘Oh.’
Yelena rolled her eyes, biting back her words. ‘Nevermind your lack of basic Russian. Why do you let him talk to you like that, Ms. Future Avenger?’
‘I’m already an Avenger, too, you know,’ Kate replied sheepishly.
‘Yes. I know. The little avenger squad. I keep tabs. We can talk all about that later. But Kate Bishop, never think about emailing me again, yes? So embarrassing.’
‘I suppose his asking me to leave him alone makes more sense now.’
She was met with a shake of the head. ‘No. He did not ask you to leave him alone. He said to leave him the fuck alone, you bitch.’
‘He called me a bitch?’ Kate’s mouth drops open, shocked at the audacity of this random man she mistook for her friend.
‘Mh, loose translation. He called you a bitch in spirit.’
Kate gasped. ‘Oh, that … That—’
‘Bitch?’ Yelena offered, smirking broadly.
For a second, both women looked at each other and began to laugh, just like the good old days. The good old days that only lasted about a week or two. Kate was aware how overly sentimental she was over the mere days she had known Yelena, “knowing” being a fairly big word. But here, laughing with her again, it felt like a weight dropped from her chest, and she could finally breathe again.
She took the amiable air between them to take in her old acquaintance better, seeing how much she had changed. Her hair seemed shorter, gelled back, showing off her entire face. It looked good, even better than when Kate had first met her. She looked a bit older, though not by much. Her face seemed more defined, though it had been too long to be certain. She was wearing black liner under her eyes, which only made the blue irises stand out more. Kate felt herself lean in, watching the eyelashes, the creases, the cracks in her lips, before quickly pulling back.
‘I—’ They both uttered at the same time, followed by a dance of “you first”, “no, you”. Kate finally cleared her throat and said, ‘I missed you.’ Her voice cracked halfway through. She didn’t bother with feeling embarrassed, wanting her friend to know exactly how much she had missed her. How much she’d been longing for the moment of their reunion.
Yelena smiled at her. Her gaze softened, and the skin around her mouth creased. ‘I can tell from your emails, Kate Bishop. So, about that coffee?’
‘Oh,’ Kate’s face faltered. ‘The vegan spot. Yeah. So … That burnt down, like, a few months ago. Kind of sad. They lost their, um, she felt the sobs catch in her throat. ‘Dog.’
‘No,’ Yelena pouted, her lips downturned even more than they had been when Kate was trying to shut her out. ‘Why would you tell me that?’
‘I’m sorry! Let’s start over.’
‘Okay,’ Yelena got up from the couch and headed towards the front door, opening it. Noticing Kate’s confused expression, she uttered: ‘What? No. You’re right. I should come in through the window as usual.’
She laughed at Yelena’s behaviour. She could be so ridiculous at times, and Kate was grateful she hadn’t lost any of that. ‘Just sit down,’ she said, shaking her head in disbelief.
‘So bossy.’
Kate fetched them both some soda, taking a break from Yelena to pop an aspirin in her mouth. Her head was still killing her, having to host Yelena out of all people after a long day full of sweaty training. She didn’t have the luxury of living in a place like the Avengers Tower, where everything her little heart desired could appear with just a snap of her fingers. She would have killed for a homemade meal right about then, but usually, she got home after training sessions or briefings and went full-on lazy mode. Today was no exception. She was ready for a cup of instant ramen and an immediate dive under the covers with Lucky snuggled up at her feet.
Despite her exhaustion, she glimpsed something in her face when she saw her reflection in the oven. Happiness.
‘Well,’ Kate started, handing Yelena a glass of cream soda as she sat down next to her, ‘We have established that we both suck at communication, but I still don’t know why you’re here.’ She wanted to add “after all this time”, but that would have only reopened their discussion. So what if Kate didn’t understand that Russian surnames were gendered? It wasn’t as if Yelena couldn’t have tracked her down in under an hour. But the sight of Yelena was too precious to risk scaring her away.
‘I need reason to visit you, Kate Bishop?’ Upon catching Kate’s sigh, she quickly changed her tune. ‘I missed you, too, you know.’ She childishly puckered her lips, as if shamefully admitting she just broke the favourite vase in the house.
Kate’s heart skipped an unnatural beat, and she shifted on the couch. ‘Took you this long to realise? To remember me?’ Maybe, she thought, and just maybe, she was the biggest child of both of them. She knew her unconscious wasn’t going to let Yelena’s years of radio silence go, but only because her heart and soul had longed for her so badly.
Yelena’s eyelids drooped slightly. ‘I wasn’t in the best place after, well … Killing Clint was my sole mission. Abandoning that, I kind of lost my purpose. I had no sister, no friends, even my dad didn’t reach out. I lived mission to mission, and I thought that was what I wanted, but it wasn’t. I felt lonely. Alone. And lost.’
Something in the way Yelena averted her gaze was so vulnerable. Kate almost pulled her in for a tight embrace.
‘I got through my shit. I have friends now. I like my friends. But I still missed you, Kate Bishop. I felt incomplete.’
Kate was damn sure that if Yelena had kept talking, she would pass away. Something about being as dearly missed as she had missed her friend was rewarding. No. Soothing. She had needed to hear her friend say she missed her, too. And she had needed her to say it twice, just to make sure and to make Kate feel a little less crazy. In an instant, the years lost disappeared, and Kate was back in her old apartment, watching the blonde pour an inhuman amount of hot sauce on her mac and cheese.
The only difference was that Kate was a little more aware of exactly what her feelings for Yelena entailed this time around. Not that it would have made a difference back then, seeing how her friend had disappeared as quickly as she came. Not that it would make a difference now. Would it?
She sniffled. Yelena caught her eye. ‘Are you crying?’
‘What? Why would I—’ Kate quickly looked away, trying to stop herself from actually tearing up. She hadn’t allowed herself to feel this much in a while, but that didn’t mean she had to let it all out in one night. ‘I’m glad you’re feeling better. And that you have friends.’
And that I am your friend, too, after all, she thought.
‘You should meet them sometime. We can all be friends.’
‘I have friends too, you know,’ Kate said weakly.
She couldn’t help but imagine Yelena having pizza nights with her new friends, or living the fanon Avengers Tower life like Kamala so often ranted about. If they let Kamala have her way, they’d all have been living together by now. Most of them had their own stuff to think about before even considering moving into a “Young Avengers Tower”, which, to be fair, would be more like a frat house. Billie was too busy hunting down his brother and mother, America was off all the time to see her interdimensional girlfriend, and Cassie was making up for all the years without her dad. If Kamala’s dream ever became reality, she hoped they’d have recruited at least one co-hero of legal drinking age first. Ultimately, Kamala’s Avengers dream was Kate’s babysitting duty.
Yeah. Life as a pre-debut Young Avenger wasn’t exactly the epitome of her social life.
But now, Yelena was back.
Kate played with her sleeve. ‘We should totally spend Christmas together this year. You know, for old time’s sake. Unless you’re stuck in your tower, your Highness.’ She bit her lip in expectation. She’d imagined spending Christmas with the blonde more than once, and even ended up having a dream about it soon after they met. She had already mentally picked out gifts for her, too.
‘Ha! Kate Bishop. Always so funny. Your Highness,’ she mimicked. She took her glass and tapped Kate on her right and then left shoulder. ‘I knight thee, or whatever they say. Now we are knighted, so you must celebrate Christmas with me.’
Kate blushed despite herself. ‘You make it sound like we are married.’ She chuckled awkwardly, which made her sound like a total loser.
‘No. No marriage before you perfect your macaroni. I will not have a terrible cook as my wife. I saw many cup noodle in your kitchen. I am disappointed in you, you know.’ Yelena looked beyond satisfied to hear Kate groan at that. ‘I am only speaking truth, дорогая. Anyway, Christmas is far away. You do not mean to kick me out until then, I hope?’
‘You live in the Avengers Tower. I don’t think you plan on staying here.’
‘I do not say that. But we should celebrate something. Have a partayyyyy. Let’s see. When is your birthday?’
Kate shrugged. ‘December 31st. Don’t act like you didn’t already know.’
‘Is somewhere in my files, I’m sure. Birthdays are not usually worth remembering. But this will not do. When is next celebration, then? Halloween? I could go as Clint Barton. Now that would be a spook!’ Yelena let out a deep laugh at her own joke.
‘Yelena,’ Kate said, deadpan, earning another chuckle from her friend. She almost said “too soon”, but to be fair, enough time had passed since the assassination attempts. She continued, more seriously than her friend. ‘I don’t know. After this Friday, there won’t be anything for a while. Can’t we celebrate your birthday? When is it?’
‘Don’t know.’
‘You don’t know?’
Yelena shook her head matter-of-factly. ‘No. The birthdays I celebrated were made-up. I no longer celebrate. I don’t know when I was born, exactly, only that I am in my thirties.’
Kate had to stop her mouth from dropping open because she didn’t want her friend to feel old. Not that she was, but there was a bigger age gap between them than she had expected. Suddenly, her friend not being a Young Avenger like her made more sense. But still, not knowing your birthday was something Kate couldn’t wrap her head around. Birthday celebration shouldn’t be a privilege, that much she was sure about. She swore to herself to find a way to celebrate Yelena, even if there was no specific day to celebrate. ‘You don’t look a day over twenty-five.’ She grinned.
‘So do you, Kate Bishop. So do you. That is all besides the point. What is this Friday?’
‘Friday? Oh. Independence Day. Fourth of July. There will be fireworks. We could check it out together. If you want. No pressure.’ Kate watched her friend’s face intently, hoping the idea would speak to her. She imagined the two of them watching the fireworks together, sharing an overpriced New York hot dog and holding hands.
Holding hands in a totally platonic way, of course. Unless Yelena was okay with more.
Not that she would ask.
Right?
‘Fireworks and hot dogs? What silly ways you Americans have.’
‘I mean, there are parades, and lots of suburban families throw barbecues. There are fairs, football games, concerts, you name it. That what you’re looking for? We can totally do anything you want. I’m free. Or, well, I’ll have to check but—’
‘Gasp!’ Yelena articulated. ‘We should barbecue!’
‘Sure. Maybe there’s a park where we can—’
‘On your roof! It looked so cosy. I like it more here than your last place.’
‘You’re just gonna throw a barbecue? On my rooftop? In the middle of New York City?’
Yelena bobbed her head like it was the most normal thing in the world. ‘Yeah.’ Maybe becoming an Avenger made her think she could do anything, anywhere, anytime. Knowing America’s obsession with superheroes, she probably could.
‘Whatever you say, princess,’ Kate chuckled, giving in without much of a fight. ‘Just no gas barbecue, please. Don’t want to lose another apartment. Or, you know, get fined.’
‘I will get food. You decorate, Kate Bishop. We can invite our friends and—’
Kate listened to her friend with a tight smile, internally screaming that her fireworks date plan fell through so quickly. She didn’t own Yelena, though, so what could she do? Perhaps, easing into each other was a good idea, especially after all this time. She couldn’t deny the way her heart skipped a beat or her cheeks flushed so easily around the blonde. She needed to be platonic. Low-key. What better way than having a group hangout? To hang with all their friends?
Her excitement sank to the bottom of her stomach as she remembered she would meet all of Yelena’s friends, but Yelena wouldn’t meet any of her friends. Her co-heroes. The Young Avengers would never be able to clear their schedules for a hangout less than a week away. Teens were damn busy these days, way busier than Kate was at their ages, even with all the fancy galas. But her friends were even busier than she had been, juggling all their teen stuff with Young Avengers stuff. Still, she nodded at Yelena as she kept talking, keeping her worries for later.
‘I will do the music too, obviously. This calls for American Pie. This will be so fuuuun,’ Yelena did jazz hands.
Fuck. She was way too cute to bear.
Kate smiled fondly at her friend, agreeing with anything she said while mentally calculating the costs or considering the safety precautions. The longer Yelena went on prattling and planning, the more Kate’s heart seemed to ache for all the time she hadn’t heard that voice. She believed that the blonde had some sort of magical spell on her to make her unforgettable. She wondered if she should ask Billy to get this curse lifted because it was far too intense. If Yelena had asked her to jump off the nearest bridge right then, she would have. Anything for her not to leave again.
Hosting a Fourth of July celebration together was a sure-fire way to keep the elusive blonde by her side. And maybe, just maybe, she would get a chance to open her heart and tell Yelena exactly how badly she wanted her in her life.