No Choice, But One

by LennoxMaxwell

Summary:

Regulus Black is tired. He is cold. And his arm hurts like shit. As does the rest of his body. And his soul. Likely due to the Dark Mark he didn't want now taking up the majority of his inner left forearm. And the multiple Cruciatus curses, rough hands, and other torturous implements it took to get the damn tattoo on there.
Let them not say he did not put up a fight.
His parents drew their line in the sand with his brother three years prior, and now with him. But with Sirius, there was something Regulus wasn't offered.
Choice.
So Regulus has drawn his own line.
Armed with only his wand, his wounded pride, and his inheritance he stole when he blasted his own name off the black family tapestry, raided the Black family vault, and flew from the Black family home on his broom to the nearest area with a Floo chimney, Regulus flees to the only safety he's ever known.
The arms of James Potter. And the company of his brother, Sirius Black.
What luck for him they reside under the same roof.

Notes:

CWs: References to parental abuse and violence.

Chapter 1: Rugburn and Redemption

Regulus Black was never commended for his bravery.

No. That was more his brother’s thing. ‘Sirius Black, so brave, such a Gryffindor, so defiant, such a rulebreaker, class clown.’

But Regulus? Never. He very rarely defied his parents expectations. He made straight O’s in all of his classes. He took all advanced courses, always made sure to write when written to. His manners were impeccable. His hair, wardrobe, perfectly styled.

Everything about Regulus Arcturus Black absolutely screamed ‘impeccable, perfect, Pureblood heir’ to the outside eye. And he liked it that way. It kept him out of trouble. It kept him from going insane. It kept his parents from asking uncomfortable questions, like, “Why are you writing to James Potter? Why are you writing to your brother? Are you not loyal to us and the Dark Lord? Don’t you think it’s time you took the Mark? Don’t you think you should prove your loyalty?”

Originally, Regulus had intended on spending the winter holidays at Hogwarts, since his parents were often too busy to look after him over Christmas at Grimmauld Place anyways. But this year, they had insisted that he come home for the Holidays, since he was to be the heir, and apparently, needed to be trained, since ‘he hadn’t been properly educated, as Sirius ought to have been the heir until he shacked up with some Halfblood mutt and those damn Potters.’

Thus, Regulus’ holiday plans had changed. When he informed his band of merry mates, the conversation had gone as such:

Regulus’ eyes scanned the parchment, taking in the artful calligraphy of the Black family matriarch ordering him home for the holiday season. The letter had been dropped off outside of normal mailtimes, during a picnic on the Quidditch Pitch with the Marauders minus Peter (He was off with his girlfriend- some girl from Hufflepuff) and Regulus’ own band of mates: Barty, Evan, and Pandora.

Everyone stared expectantly.

Regulus cleared his throat, looking up. “Mother wants me home for hols.” He’d noticed his accent got decidedly less ‘posh’ than normal once he’d started hanging around James and Remus more often. Certain slang words crept into his vocabulary. ‘Hols’ was one of them.

“Abso-fucking-lutely not,” Sirius replied, not even looking up from his sandwich. He was perched in Remus’ lap, the taller man stroking deft fingers through his long, black hair. “Fuck that.”

Regulus sighed, exchanging a look with Barty and Evan. They all knew it couldn’t be avoided. Passing the letter to Barty so that he and the youngest Rosier could read it for themselves, he looked over at the Gryffindors, a pained expression on his face.

“I, ah… Can’t really say no. The Dark Lo- mm. Sorry. Voldemort will be there.”

Silence fell over the group, heavier than before.

James’ jaw clenched. “Fuck.”

“Yeah. Fuck.” Regulus agreed. He reached out, taking his boyfriend’s hand in his own and smiling softly. “But I’m sure it’s fine. Just a visit, mm?”

Another look exchanged with Barty and Evan. All three of them had recently turned 16. The age at which you could take the Mark. None of them wanted to do it, or intended to, but they could spot this summons home for what it was- a ‘chance’ to take the Mark, otherwise known as ‘pressuring young teens to take up arms with what they could all plainly see was the Wizard equivalent to Hitler- who was some bloke Lupin explained killed a lot of people in the Holocaust for eerily similar and dissatisfactory reasons to Voldemort.’

“I’ll write you, though.” Regulus supplied, smiling. He hoped it would soothe his boyfriend and brother enough to know he was safe and resisting. He had a plan to escape his parents’ clutches, but he couldn’t enact it yet. He was the heir to the Black line, and they were much more likely to come after Regulus than Sirius, considering he was Orion and Walburga’s last shot. He needed to leave as much destruction in his wake as possible.

The elder Black sibling nodded simply, and James looked down before nodding as well.

“Be safe.” They said, creepily, in unison.

“I hate it when they do that,” Evan shudders.

“It’s the Wrackspurts,” Pandora adds in, helpfully.

The picnic seemed like years ago now. Regulus was flying at breakneck speed in any direction, weighed down by the gold he’d stolen from his parents and the guilt he’d accumulated in the short time between Grimmauld place and the Floo outpost he knew of on the outskirts of the nearest town.

He crashed unceremoniously into the ground, looking up at the face of the Ignatia Wildsmith statue that adorned every Floo outpost across Europe. His entire body felt as if it was covered in papercuts, though his skin remained intact. He looked up at the marble face of the woman who had invented Floo travel and been immortalized, staring down at him in concern.

“Are you quite alright, boy?” She asked, softly.

Regulus just laughed. “I will be,” he croaked out, trying to pull himself up off the ground. His bones protested.

The marble face seemed to understand. “Good luck to you.”

He managed to stand, and shoot her a charming grin, which looked slightly more like a grimace. Leaning on his Nimbus 1800 for support, he made sure he hadn’t lost anything in the crash. He took a deep breath.

“Potter Manor.” He said, enunciating clearly, and throwing the pocketful of Floo powder he’d stolen on his way out of Grimmauld Place.

In a flash of green, he was home.

—

Regulus tumbled out of the Floo chimney and onto the unfortunately hardwood floors that were adorned with one ridiculously placed rug, eliciting a sharp burning feeling as his arm skidded across it.

Ah yes. Just what he needed to add to this day. Rugburn. Christmas this year was turning out to be, as his brother would say, “absolutely fucking fantabulous.”

He slammed his fist on the ground hissing in pain. “FUCK!”

Regulus looked up, finding himself in a room chock full of Muggleborn sympathizers eating dinner, dancing, drinking champagne, and staring at him as the music slowly died down with the chatter.

‘I should have expected this,’ Regulus thought to himself. ‘It is Christmas Eve after all. The Potters are rich. Of course they would be having a party. With the people who hate my family. Hahahaha. This day gets better and better.’

Regulus was past the point of embarrassment, or caring absolutely at all about anything other than finding James, Sirius, or Lupin. In that order. He knew that 2/3 of those people were guaranteed to be here, and the third was likely here as well, since there was a party going on. Taking a deep, deep breath, Regulus pulled himself into a seated position, and looked to the nearest guest, one Lily Evans.

Oh yes. Lily. He liked her. Quite a bit. He used to hate her, but finding out she was a lesbian and actually in love with one of his best mates, Pandora, made him hate her much, much less. Because he’d previously seen her as a threat to James’ affections. But nay. Now, they were quite close, actually

He cleared his throat. “Hey, Lils. Uh. I need… a Marauder. But not Pete. Any other one will do. Or a Potter of any sort. I’d even spring for Hope Lupin, if she’s present. Just… someone who is in charge. Thanks.”

Lily nodded. She looked down at him. “You look like shit.”

“That’s not very helpful.”

“I know,” she said, smiling gently. She handed her champagne glass off to the nearest guest, and snapped at one of the members of her girlband. “Go find James, Siri, and Rem. They’ll all be together, can’t miss ‘em. Tell them to meet us in James’ room, and bring Effie with them.” The girl, Dorcas, if Regulus could recall, ran off. Turning to her friend Mary, Lily said, “Gather his things and follow me.”

Lily pulled one of the red ribbons out of her hair, and used it to tie the skirt of her dress up so she wouldn’t have to worry about tripping on it. She bent down and lifted Regulus off the floor, bridal style. It was much too easy. Mary, having gathered Regulus’ few bags, his wand, and his broom, followed Lily Evans in all her Gryffindor glory as she walked through the party, the crowd parting for her effortlessly.

She made her way up a flight of stairs and down a hall, allowing Regulus to bury his face in her shoulder and breathe in the calming scent of her perfume. It wasn’t floral or cloying. It smelled almost like vanilla. It smelled almost like James.

Then, she walked him into a room that did smell like James, her stiletto heels click clicking on the wood floor as she lay him down on a pillowy mattress that absolutely reeked of James Fleamont Potter, vanilla and cinnamon. A hint of spice, but not too much. The sheets were an obnoxious red, and the blanket was soft as Lily pulled it over him. Mary set Regulus’ things down at the foot of the bed and they both sat on either side of Regulus.

“Are you hurt?” Lily asked.

Regulus snorted. “Be more specific.”

“Reg,” she scolded, “are you physically harmed in any way I can fix for you right now with my basic knowledge of healing magic?”

He sighed, wincing as he sat up, and outlined a few major and minor bruises, the rugburn, a scrape or two. But he knew she couldn’t fix the ache in his bones. No, that would take time. A Cruciatus curse did that to you. Mary sat behind him and brushed out his hair with a hairbrush she’d conjured from nowhere, getting out the leaves and tangles. She then put it in a short braid, and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

The two girls loved on Regulus as best they could as they waited for the boys to arrive.

“You just need a bit of TLC, right?” Mary said, softly. Regulus smiled at her. “Wanna take off your coat? You must be sweltering,” she asked.

Both Regulus and Lily stiffened, and the fact that Lily did so made Regulus tense even more.

“No. I’m fine. Thanks,” he said. He couldn’t let them see, especially with it so fresh.

Lily nodded. “I understand. I get cold easily too. The curse of being a delicate flower, mm?” She tried to smile at him, but they both knew what was really going on.

Tears pricked at Regulus’ eyes. Mary and Lily seemed to exchange some silent conversation, and realization dawned in Mary’s eyes. The girls held him as tight as they dared as the tears spilled over.

There was a knock on the door. Through the sounds of Regulus’ pitiful sobs, one Lily Evans called out, “Come in!”

The door opened a bit too fast for everyone’s liking, startling the three occupants of James’ room, and causing Sirius to fall flat on his face as James rushed in. Remus grabbed James to pull him back, shooting him a glare that said, ‘Do NOT further traumatize your boyfriend tonight. Calm the fuck down.’

Sirius peeled himself off the floor, standing up and catching sight of his baby brother.

“No.” He said, sounding broken.

Regulus nodded. “Siri…”

Regulus’ eyes were red with tears, and the two Gryffindor females stood, kissing him on the head as they made their exits, waving to the younger Black on James’ bed. Lily whispered something to Remus, and then to Euphemia Potter. She then joined Dorcas and Mary on their way down the hall to rejoin the party and do damage control. She was a good one.

Sirius, James, Remus, and Euphemia made their way into the room where Lily and Mary had deposited Regulus.

Regulus looked up at them, and turned so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry,” he began.

“You have nothing to-” James started, but Regulus cut him off.

“Let me apologize, please,” Regulus begged, tears brimming. James reached out to take Regulus’ hand, but the younger boy flinched away. Hurt flashed across James’ face.

James dropped to his knees in front of Regulus, looking up at the younger buoy desperately. Euphemia sat next to Regulus, looking between him and her son. She had not known of their relationship previously, but now it was plain as day. She wasn’t surprised, per se, but she was a tad bit upset that James hadn’t told her. That was a problem for another day- maybe another lifetime, actually.

Sirius moved to his brother’s other side, and Remus placed a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. Seemingly, Remus and Effie were the only thing keeping anyone together.

Regulus took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for interrupting your party. And your Christmas. And I’m sorry for everything else. And-and I’m sorry fo-for- fuck.” He took a shuddering inhale. “I-I couldn’t stop them. It hurt so much. It-I couldn’t- and then he was there, and you know how he is, and-and- I thought-I thought I could-could stop them, but-but I-”

Remus stopped the blubbering younger Black, thankfully. “Regulus. Take a deep breath. Another one. Good. Now three more. Okay. I dunno about these guys, but I have no idea what the fuck is going on. So why don’t you take another few deep breaths and just tell us. Bluntly, put it out there. No extra words. We believe you when you say you didn’t want to do whatever it was you have done or had done to you. We just want to understand.”

“Well put, Remus.” Effie said.

Regulus took a few deep breaths. James looked up at him. No one was touching him, and he kind of felt bad about it, but he would rather have never had the contact than lose it the second he showed them what had happened.

When he felt sufficiently ready, Regulus took off his jacket. And there, on his inner left forearm, was the Dark Mark.

Sirius made a choking sound. James looked at it, going pale. Remus’ face remained impassive. And Euphemia’s, worst of all, turned to pity.

“I’m sorry,” Regulus said, in a small voice. “I tried to stop them, I really did. But I-I couldn’t. It was 1 against dozens. My mother- my mother she-she used-”

“No.” Sirius said. “Regulus, tell me she didn’t use the Cruciatus curse.”

Regulus nodded vigorously, tears streaming down his face.

And that’s when James lost it. He surged off the ground and wrapped Regulus in a hug so tight it actually hurt. Everyone gasped. James buried his face in Regulus’ neck, holding onto the younger boy tightly as tears streamed down both of their faces.

James was holding him. After he’d shown them all that he was a death eater, James was holding him. Regulus’ heart shattered in the best and worst way. The younger boy broke down completely, ugly sobbing into James’ hair until Sirius had the good sense to move so that James could replace his spot on the bed and pull Regulus into his lap.

James pulled Regulus’ hair loose from the braid Mary had done it up in, and ran his fingers through it as Regulus sobbed into his chest, murmuring unintelligible things, half in English, half in French. James pulled on the younger boy's hair enough to get his attention, causing him to look up. James pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

“Hey. Look at me- no, in the eyes. You are safe now. I won’t let anything happen to you. Not a thing. And I don’t care if you have a Dark Mark. You didn’t want it. And that’s what’s important, okay? Yeah,” the older boy soothed the younger one, cupping his cheek and wiping his tears. “And I love you. And Sirius loves you. And my parents will love you. And you can stay here, okay. And we’re gonna take care of you, and it’s gonna be okay. And we’ll see what we can do. Okay? Nod once if you understand.”

Regulus nods. James pulls his head into his shoulder, soothing the shaking boy. James looks over at Sirius, who looks… angry. He looks ready to start WWIII. His jaw and fists are clenched and his boyfriend, obviously sensing that if left to his own devices, Sirius might go assassinate his former family, has a tight grip on Sirius’ waist. Remus pulls Sirius close into his chest.

Effie looks between the two couples. Her son and his… boyfriend. She doesn’ object, it just has to take a bit of getting used to. Her adopted son and his own. She sighs. This Christmas would be one to remember.

“I’ll go dismiss the guests. It’s about that time anyways,” she says softly to Remus, who appeared to be the only stable one in the room besides herself at the moment. “Take care of my boys, love?”

Remus nodded. “On it.”

When Euphemia came back from dismissing the party guests, she found James and Regulus asleep, and Sirius watching them from the comfort of Remus’ arms.

“He’ll be alright.” Euphemia said, steering the two out of the room. Remus hummed in agreement, but Sirius stayed silent. Remus pulled Sirius into his own room, and shut the door. Later, Euphemia would hear some odd noises, and put a silencing charm on the room to save the rest of the house from further trauma.

After doing so, she made her way into the kitchen, finding her husband, Monty, sitting on the couch in front of the Christmas tree and contemplating.

“Monty?”

“Yes, love?”

“What are we to do?”

He sighed, opening an arm for his wife to tuck herself into his side. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s going to be hard to find a present for the boy so late, as Christmas is tomorrow-”

“Monty!”

Fleamont Potter flashed her the signature Potter grin, and Effie couldn’t find it in her heart to be upset with him.

He sighed. “We will protect him. Give him a home. And we will do some research on how to remove that damned Mark. He can’t be a Death Eater for the rest of his life.”

Effie sighed. “Good plan,” she stated, softly, burying her nose in her husband’s neck. “M’sleepy. We should go to bed.”

“What about a present for Regulus?” Monty said, indignant, poking his wife to keep her awake, eliciting a fit of giggles from the woman.

“Already covered. I spoke to Lily after the party, and she said he really likes books, and would likely have had to leave all of his behind. So I got a few from Craig before he left. Er- well, he apparated to the shop and back, and I paid him double for his trouble.”

“You’re so bloody perfect. It’s a wonder I convinced you to marry me.” Fleamont said, lifting Effie up in a bridal carry from the couch. She giggled, looking up lovingly at her husband. “Oh, well. I like you a bit. Best option. Bedtime?”

“Bedtime.”

Chapter 2: Nine Breaths and a New Beginning

Summary:

Regulus wakes up on the floor, remembers everything, and promptly forgets it’s Christmas.
There’s crying, cocoa, and a concerning amount of water.
But at least the wallpaper isn’t green.

Notes:

CW: PTSD/panic attacks, aftermath of torture (non-graphic), abusive family dynamics, swearing, implied homophobia. Comfort-heavy with themes of recovery and found family.

Treat yourself kindly! :)

Regulus woke up with a pounding headache and an uncomfortable heat wrapped around him. He took a deep inhale, breathing in the scent of James Potter.

 

Breathing in the scent of James Potter.

 

Oh.

 

Oh. RIGHT.

 

Regulus sat up, a bit too fast, his head swimming from the movement. He startled his boyfriend awake at the movement. “Reggie?” Regulus scampered up, looking around, and falling out of the bed. “Reggie!”

 

“Ow. Fuck. Shit. Oh my GOD.” Regulus clutched his head, a pitiful whine coming from his throat as he curled up on the floor, rubbing his temples. “God-fucking-damnit shit, shit, shit, fuck!”

 

James’ concerned face came into view, but Regulus’ vision was swimming, and his mind felt like a hundred sharp needles had been stabbed into it. James hand cupped his cheek, tilting Regulus’ head from side to side, looking him over for injury. James’ bottom lip slotted between his teeth. “Merlin, Reggie. I- breathe, okay? I’m going to get Remus. He’s just across the hall.”

 

Reggie made a sound in the affirmative. He tried to take several deep breaths, but it was harder than he thought. He felt last night rush into him, every curse he’d suffered, every word, every lie , every single moment that had led to him falling asleep in James’ arms. His lungs felt like they were on fire. 

 

He lay back on the ground, hoping he might feel better with his back against the floor, but all he felt was worse. His parents' faces flashed in his eyes, and he felt as if he were right back in Grimmauld Place. Too many hands touched his arms, and he shook them off. He squeezed his eyes shut.

 

“Regulus,” his father was saying. But the voice sounded to soft, too, kind, and then-

 

“Reggie.” Well, that wasn’t right. Orion would never call him ‘Reggie.’ 

 

Opening his eyes, Regulus found himself looking into the face of Remus Lupin. Scars marred his cheeks, mostly the left side, and the overall effect was softened for it. Regulus took a deep breath, and remembered where he was.

 

Potter Manor. Safe. Fine. All good.

 

“There we go. Hey, Reggie,” Remus said, sitting cross legged beside him. James had known to get him because he knew how to calm down Sirius when he got this way, and James had been way out of his league. But James would learn. He was observing. Remus and James exchanged a look, and then Regulus noticed Sirius leaning against the doorframe, looking stuck between wanting to surge into the room to help his brother, and the knowledge that he would only make it worse for both of them by doing so. 

 

Remus tugged on Regulus’ arm, softly, urging him into a sitting position. “Hey, now. Why don’t you do something for me, huh? Let’s take nine deep breaths, but in between every three, I want you to drink a glass of water. Okay?”

 

Regulus, now sitting, nodded. He was dehydrated! That made perfect sense. The Unforgivables would do that to you, and plus he’d cried out the rest of his water the night prior.

 

He took three deep breaths, and Remus used Augmenti to fill a glass for him. He drank it slowly but determinedly. The cycle repeated itself twice more, until he’d consumed 36 ounces of water, and taken nine deep breaths. 

 

With his breathing back to normal, and his mouth far less parched, he looked up at James and Sirius again. “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t be sorry,” they said in unison. Both Remus and Regulus shuddered, dramatically. This elicited a giggle from the group, cutting the tension right in half.

 

“Fuck, Reggie, are you ok- sorry, that’s a dumb question. How not okay are you?” Sirius asked, finally stepping over the threshold of the room to kneel beside Regulus and Remus. He set a hand on Regulus’ knee, looking over at James, and then back to his brother.

 

Regulus smiled. “I’m fine. As fine as I can be, anyways. I just… I woke up, and I was like, ‘Ooh, my room smells like James. Weird.’ And then I realized I wasn’t IN my room at Grimmauld. And then the entirety of… my life just hit me in the face. And also everything hurts. A lot. Like my entire body aches.”

 

Sirius nods. “How many times?”

 

“At least four, but I heard the word about eight times. After the fourth time I wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. I didn’t even realize I was-was Marked until I woke up. It could have been more, especially if they let Bella in.”

 

Sirius clenched his jaw. “Four? Eight? More? Merlin, Reggie, were they trying to kill you? How did you escape sane?” He combed his hands through Regulus’ hair, occasionally shooting glances at James, who stood shock still by the door.

 

Regulus smiled wryly. “Call it tolerance,” he said, closing his eyes. Remus watched the brothers.

 

“Well, no matter your tolerance, that much torture has got to have had some sort of physical manifestations. We should get Effie and Monty and have them take you to St. Mungo’s.”

 

“No!” The Black brothers shouted in unison. 

 

“Moony, are you daft? He’ll be kidnapped!” Sirius said, just as Regulus said, “Have you seen my arm? They likely wouldn’t even treat me!”

 

Then, they turned to each other. “Why is that your first thought? Of course they’d treat you, they’re doctors! And you’re not a death eater. Once we say, ‘He’s been tortured,’ they’ll probably figure that bit out themselves!” Sirius cried. 

 

Regulus snorted. “Point taken. But why would anyone kidnap me?”

 

“Because you’re the bloody heir to the Black line, and you have more dirt on them than the entire Black family cemetery.” James says, speaking for the first time. His voice was firm and unwavering. As he spoke, James walked forward, coming to crouch before Regulus, his face impassive. “You’ve been initiated into the Death Eaters, whether you like it or not, and while our current plan is to get that damn thing removed, another option, and likely the one they think we’ll spring for, is keeping it on you so we know when Voldemort summons his army. You’re valuable to them in many ways, and they will try to retrieve you.”

 

He took Regulus’ chin in two fingers, tilting it up a bit to meet his eyes. “We won’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen. Do you understand?”

 

Regulus nodded, his pupils dilating juuuuust a bit. Remus and Sirius exchanged a look over his head.

 

Releasing Regulus’ chin, James stood to his full height and looked down at Remus. “So, no, Moony. We shall not be allowing our dearest star to go to St. Mungos. We will find him medical assistance, but it will have to be a housecall. Someone we trust.”

 

Remus sighed. “Do you have someone in mind, James?” he asked, a small smile twitching at his scarred lips. He knew his best mate quite well, and while James Potter was rather… rambunctious, he was also extremely intelligent, and very good at making plans.

 

James began to pace. “I have a few. First, people I trust, but who you will likely shoot down, Rem, as they aren’t fully trained.”

 

Remus nodded. “I’m assuming Lily and Dorcas?” James nodded. “No. I’d prefer someone who has a license. Lily already looked him over last night and did the best she could, so calling her would be pointless, and she and Dorcas are on the same level.”

 

“Do I get a say in any of this?” Regulus asked. 

 

Sirius smiled. “Let them do it. They get the best people. Trust me. I know.”

 

Remus and James both made a face at that, but kept chatting. A few other names were passed around, until eventually James said one that stuck.

 

“What about Andromeda? She’s a medic at Mungo’s, and she’s also been disowned by the Blacks. I would have suggested her first, but I didn’t know how we felt about her.”

 

Remus nodded. “No objections from me. Guys?”

 

Sirius nodded. “I love Andy.”

 

Regulus blinked. He hadn’t seen Andromeda in years . Not since she’d married a muggle, gotten a job, and disgraced the family name. She was Andromeda… Tonks now, yes, that’s right. He’d love to see her, and he wished it hadn’t had to be under the fact that he had been nearly tortured to death, and run away to be the third Black in a decade to abandon the family name and ways. Oops.

 

“I’d love to see Andromeda,” Regulus said, softly. He smiled. “And she’s… well qualified for this sort of thing.”

 

Nobody else smiled.

 

Then, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter walked quietly into the bedroom, both holding mugs of cocoa. 

 

“Good morning,” Effie said. “Happy Christmas.”

 

That’s when it struck all four boys in the room. It was Christmas. Remus gasped loudly, getting to his feet. “I was supposed to go home last night! Oh shit! Mum’s gonna have a co-”

 

“It’s fine, love, we owled her, explaining the situation. She’s currently sitting in the living room, knitting. You two will be having Christmas here. More fun that way anyways,” Effie said.

 

Remus sighed, deflating against Sirius’ shoulder as the other boy stood too. “Thank Merlin.”

 

A strange pang of guilt hit Regulus in the chest. He’d upended this family’s Christmas. And the Lupins’ too. He’d come in, Dark Mark a-blazing, and ruined all sorts of traditions and parties. It was Christmas morning, and because of him and his stupid panic attack and his stupid ruining their night before, they had all forgotten. 

 

James, sensing his unease, settled next to him. “I’m sorry?” he said, more a question than an apology.

 

“What?” Regulus asked, breathily, snapped out of his own self-loathing long enough to be confused.

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t-couldn’t help you. Earlier. Some boyfriend I am, right? Had to go get Moony. I figured that’s why you kept looking at me all uneasy-like.” James said, taking Regulus’ hand and twining their fingers together. 

 

Regulus smiled. “James. You’re fine. FIrst off, you did the right thing. You recognized that what was happening was something you couldn’t handle and went to someone you knew could. That’s being a good boyfriend and person. And you’ll learn, though hopefully you won’t have to. Secondly, that’s not why I was looking at you like that. I’m sorry. It has just hit me that I’ve completely ruined your Christmas. Instead of Christmas cheer with your best mates, you gt a death eater with fucking Shell Shock, but from his PARENTS instead of war. Or- well, I suppose it’s sort of from war. Sneaky war? I dunno. But you get the gist.”

 

James sighed, both in relief that he was not being a problem, and also in disappointment at Regulus for thinking that he was. James buried his face in Regulus’ shoulder. “You’re not ruining anything. I got a hot, sexy, super cute boy for Christmas. And they say it’s best to get them a little crazy, right? Makes them sexier.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Please.”

 

“James!”

 

James snapped his teeth at Regulus. “I love it when you say my na- oof.”

 

Regulus shoved James face away, and rolled his eyes. He tried to stand. Emphasis on tried. James caught him on the way down, but the entire room turned to look at him.

 

“I’m fine!” he called, giving a thumbs up and a bleak smile. “Don’t mind me!” 

 

With help from James, Regulus was finally on his own two feet. For the first time since Grimmauld Place, Regulus stood amongst friends and family on his own two feet.

 

“Presents?” Effie asked, brightly.

 

—

 

It had taken a while to get Regulus downstairs, as James and Sirius insisted he walk it on his own. Sirius said it was good for working out the Dark Magic, and James, trusting this, enforced the rule. Regulus hated that his brother was right .

 

When they finally made it, to the living room, he collapsed atop Sirius making the Elder Black yelp.

 

“Take that, arsehole,” Regulus said, batting at Sirius’ face like a cat. Sirius stuck his tongue out and peeled Regulus off of him, setting him primly between James and himself. Remus was on Sirius’ other side, apologizing profusely to Hope Lupin, who was laughing and smiling through it all.

 

“Rem, it’s fine. I understand. I would have done similarly, especially at your age. I don’t expect you to be perfect, you know? We all have flaws. But this? This is not one of them. I’m just glad that you have a group of people you care for so much you’d forget about Christmas.” Hope said, smoothing Remus’ already perfect hair back. She kissed his forehead, and trached a scar on his cheek, kissing that one too. It was a bit more faded than the others. Sirius showed it the same amount of attention Hope seemed to do. Regulus made the conclusion it was likely Remus’ first- or at least his first visible one.

 

Regulus leaned into James, pressing himself into his side. James’ hand came up immediately, threading through Regulus’ hair and playing with it. He pressed a kiss to Regulus’ head.

 

Hope quirked a brow. “Oh? Jamesie, is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

 

James blinked at her, and then started. “Oh! Right! Sorry. Oh, shit, my parents. Mum! Dad! C’mere a sec, yeah?”

 

Monty and Effie popped their heads in from the kitchen.

 

“Yes, son?” Monty asked. “Everything alright?”

 

“Mm. Yeah. Just so you know, Regulus and I are dating. Oh- and I like blokes? Though, I thought that was obvious, considering my Remus Phase,” James said bluntly.

 

“We assumed as much, on both counts.” Effie said, smiling, just as Remus said, “‘Remus Phase?!’ What ‘Remus Phase?!’”

 

James smiles at his parents. “Great! Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, it’s just what with Reggie’s parents and all, we didn’t really want anyone to know. Siri and Rem only knew because they caught us snogging. Siri had a right fit, but got over it. And Pandora, Lily, Barty, and Evan knew. They all only knew because we kind of were all in a club unofficially entitled ‘The Secret Gays’ club. Well, except Pandora and Lily. They’re out. But The rest aren’t. Except… to you. Why did no one stop me from talking?”

 

Regulus was gazing adoringly up at James. “Because I think you’re adorable, Siri doesn’t care, and Remus is still hung up about the ‘Remus Phase’ thing.”

 

James blinks. “Oh.” Then, turning to Remus, he says, “Well, Moony, everyone has a Remus Phase.”

 

Remus blinks back. “What?!”

 

“Can confirm.” Sirius says, smirking. “Mine’s not a phase though.”

 

Regulus shrugs. “I had one. Evan did too. As did Barty, and Pandora, and even Lily before she realised she was a lesbian.”

 

Remus makes a noise in disbelief. “What?! But I’m a-”

 

“Monster, we know. And that’s fucking sexy, Remus.” Regulus says, bluntly. “Like, no offense, you’re not my type, and we’re both in very happy relationships, so we wouldn’t work. But a sexy werewolf? SIX THREE? You’ve got all these hot scars. The perfect fantasy. And for those who don’t know you’re a werewolf- aka, the majority of the population who have STILL crushed on you- not knowing where the scars come from is even sexier. Makes you wonder? What’s Lupin’s tragic backstory? Why does he disappear every now and then? How can someone so inhumanly strong and tall be sick all the time? Also, you’re smart, which to any Ravenclaw is super hot, so that’s at least one eighth of the population of Hogwarts for you, not counting the gays.”

 

When Regulus is done, the room stares at him for a minute, and then Remus, who’s turned bright red.

 

“Oh. Cool.” Remus says, tracing a scar on his hand.

 

“Cool? Just cool? That’s what you get to Regulus Black laying down why you’re arguably the sexiest man in Hogwarts?” Sirius cries.

 

Regulus scoffs. “I didn’t say that. That’s James.” James kisses his cheek, but he is otherwise ignored.

 

“I don’t need to be all sexy. I already pulled who I think is the sexiest bloke on Earth.” Remus says, grinning. Hope snickers.

 

Sirius blushes, and pecks Remus on the lips. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Moony. Love you.”

 

“Love you, too.”

 

—

 

Regulus had not expected the presents. Of course he hadn’t. He hadn’t expected Christmas at all, for one, but he’d just flown into the Potters’ ballroom via Floo chimney only the night prior, how did they even manage this?

 

But multiple Muggle titles rest in his hands. Frankenstein , The Picture of Dorian Gray, Wuthering Heights, and all sorts of other books he’d liked or wanted to read. The Potters had gotten him ten books, and wrapped them individually, apologizing about how ‘impersonal’ and ‘lazy’ the gifts were, but Regulus gave them a look and informed them that they were the best grifts he’d ever received, save his Nimbus 1800 that Sirius had gotten for him last year.

 

The Potters had seemed shocked at this news, yet pleased. When everyone was done with presents, James ran everything upstairs for Regulus, to his own room which Effie had prepared for him. It was right next to Sirius’ and across the hall to the left from James’. She’d asked him if he’d prefer the one next to James or Sirius, and he’d chosen the one next to Sirius, not for any actual reason other than the fact that the wallpaper wasn’t green.

 

He was beginning to find that he didn’t like green as much. It didn’t make him as happy as the red of his new room, or his brother and boyfriend’s robes and personas.

 

Red was probably Regulus’ favorite color. Red made him feel warm. He liked red. And Orange. And yellow, with the occasional blue.

 

Regulus ate all of his lunch. Every single bite. This elicited a concerned feeling in the Mauraders. Regulus almost never finished his plate. He never felt the need to do so at Hogwarts, but at Grimmauld… Remus and James remembered the stories Sirius would tell about not being allowed to eat as a punishment, so he would eat everything he was able to get his hands on. So, one of two things was happening. Either, Regulus felt the need to eat everything on his plate here, just as he did at Grimmauld, which would be corrected in time, or they hadn’t fed him enough at Grimmauld.

 

Either way, it made Sirius feel very pissed off.

 

James looked over at Regulus. “Would you like some more, love?”

 

Regulus nodded politely, and slid his plate over to James. His sleeve pushed up, revealing a hint of the Mark on his arm, which he then shoved under the table to use his other arm, clenching his jaw.

 

Everyone opted to ignore this. Hope exchanged a look with the other two adults. Remus looked at James. Sirius looked down at his salad.

 

James scooped more food onto Regulus’ plate, and watched as, again, Regulus ate the entire plate. When he was done with his second plate, he didn’t ask for any more, and denied James when offered.

 

The meal had been quiet, but warm. Regulus felt somewhat broken by this. Black family dinners were never quiet. And they were never warm. And if a dinner was quiet, you knew something was deathly wrong- no pun intended.

 

Sirius broke the silence, as he often did. “So.”

 

“A needle pulling thread,” Remus said. Hope huffed a laugh, but the rest of the table looked at him strangely. Remus sighed. “Sometimes I forget you’re all Purebloods. It’s from The Sound of Music.”

 

Hope laughed. “I’ll add it to the long, long list of things to watch at the flat.”

 

Remus smiled at his mother. Regulus looked over his shoulder and into the fire. Red. Orange. Yellow. Blue. His fingers tapped idly on the table.

 

James put a hand on Regulus’ knee, and the younger boy turned to look at the older. They both smiled. ‘You okay?’ James seemed to be asking with his eyes. Regulus nodded. James tightened his grip on Regulus’ knee, and looked at him sterner. Regulus gave James another look, saying he was fine.

 

The dinner ended rather amicably, the adults staying at the table to split a bottle of Christmas sherry, chatting about how their boys were doing in school and what everyone was doing after graduation, and how proud everyone was of everyone else.

 

Regulus went to bed. He went to his room. His own, lovely, perfect red room with a fireplace and books. He looked at the fireplace, considering, but eventually decided that, no, he didn’t want to start one. It would be too warm in here with it, and he was better off without it. Regulus started to read one of the books James had set on the bed for him that morning, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and eventually fell asleep.

 

One Sirius Black snuck into his room later that night and just stared at him, the door wide open. Regulus’ arms were splayed out at his sides, his left forearm turned towards the ceiling. The skull seemed to be taunting Sirius, and the boy responded not with fear or regret, but with simple, quiet rage.

 

And that was the most terrifying thing of all. Because for all the times Sirius had been angry, he was very rarely quiet.

 

Shutting Regulus’ door behind him, Sirius made a vow.

 

He was never going to let anything like that happen to his baby brother again. He would find everyone who did this to him, and he would make them suffer.

 

Sirius almost laughed. He was finally starting to sound like a Black.

Notes:

Ah! Chapter 2, done. This chapter was WRITTEN on July 7th, but will be posted July 13th, lol. Sorry guys, can't give everything away at once. We're vibing on this, though. I'll just be walking through my day, going to make myself a grilled cheese, when- GASP! I think of something great to add to the story! Currently working on Chapter 3! Coming up with the names for things is really hard, but luckily my dear friend is very good at it. Hope you enjoy! Mwah!

P.S. It is now the 13. At exactly 12:02 am. So, normally, these won't be posted so early, but I was up, so I thought... why not?

Notes:

I dunno how you guys do it, but thank you for taking a risk on an unfinished fic (I only read the finished ones, lol). I promise to finish it for you and not leave you or it hanging. I will try to post one a week, but I make no promises once the new school year starts. I am an American, so I apologize if my British slang from the 70s isn't good. But thank you for reading, and I hope you all keep loving it! i might update the tags a bit as I keep going. This is my very first fanfiction of ANY sort, and my first work on AO3, so I'm learning as I go, and growing with every step. Also, I apologize for my unorganized tags. I know one of the tags is 'humor' and I PROMISE it'll get funnier. You gotta start with the angst and then go BAM with the humor, catch 'em off guard. Oh well, goodbye for now! I'll try to post every Sunday, at least, maybe more, since I have more free time.