Chapter Text
The hallway felt too narrow the moment Jimin left
Too quiet
Too full of breath that didn’t know where to go
Neither of them looked away.
For a moment, the whole world felt like it was holding its breath ， the hallway, the
shadows, even the faint sound of traffic outside.
Only their breathing existed
Taehyung didn’t breathe at first
Not when Jimin whispered “Talk to him… it’s your chance,”
Not when the front door closed behind his best friend,
Not even when he and him were finally alone in the same small room again after
months of running from each other.
The sound of the door clicking shut felt louder than the thunder inside his chest.
The man stood there , painfully handsome....., painfully ruined.
Still in his formal suit, jacket unbuttoned,
shirt wrinkled like he had pulled at it on the way here.
Hair perfect earlier… but now pushed back messily,
like he kept dragging his hands through it all night.
Two strands fell forward over his forehead
His left hand wrapped in a white bandage , Taehyung felt his heart trembled at the sight
And his eyes , His eyes were the part that ruined Taehyung.
swollen, red-rimmed, shining,not only from alcohol ,Like he had cried before coming here.
Like he had been trying not to
Taehyung didn’t understand why he was here ? in this perfect suite
With this pained expression
He had never seen him like this
“...Hyung?” he whispered finally, voice barely steady
He wasn’t sure if he wants to scream at him, hold him ,.. ..or kiss him
And Taehyung hated him for that
Hated him for showing up looking like the man he’d been dreaming about and trying
to forget at the same time.
“Taehyung-ah…” Jin whispered, voice thin, like a thread that might snap if he
breathed wrong.
Taehyung flinched
“ How.. have .you been ?....”
“I am…….good ..” Taehyung answered softly , but his voice betrayed him, trembling.
Tried so hard not to let his emotions shows
Jin’s jaw tightened. He took a shaky breath,
stepping forward once before stopping himself, hands shaking at his sides.
“really?”
Taehyung just hummed an answer,can’t trust his voice
“does… he make you happy..?”
Taehyung didn’t reply , expression unreadable but his glassy eyes is exposing him
Trying so hard not to cry in-front of the man he felt so many emotions towards him
Longing,..anger, frustration and ..love
“God...why I am so annoyed to hear you are doing ...good ?” Jin laughed bitterly ,
his redden eyes only watching him before he breaks down in tears ,covering his face
Head bowed down in surrender**
“I don’t… want you to be ….good “ He slurred
Silence
“Hyu..ng “
“I…I .. know ....you’re lying “ Taehyung whispered ,voice breaking
“No, ..I..I mean everything that I say “ raising his head , Jin voice was shaky
“I—I didn’t know where else to go,” he said, voice cracking at the edges
“because .. because as you can see , day by day ..literally day by day ,
I am dying a little more inside ,.....“I just— I needed to see you”**
“Hyung…” Taehyung voice cracked, too soft,
too young, tears running freely on his face now
Jin looked up at him slowly, drunken eyes glassy, lashes wet, lips trembling.
He looked wrecked, undone in a way Taehyung had only seen once,
that night when he was feverish from the cold , but this time the man looked more
Broken that it hurt his heart
That’s how you know it’s real Jimin’s words keep circling his thoughts
“I want to know,..do you…” Jin inhaled shakily, eyes never leaving Taehyung’s face,
Stepping closer , steps un steady still
“Do you not… want me anymore?”
Taehyung’s breath caught
“What.....”
“I need to know,” Jin whispered, stepping forward one tiny, unsteady step.
His voice was raw, cracked open down the middle.
“Because I can’t— I can’t keep…”
He dragged a hand over his face, exhaling shakily
“I can’t… breathe anymore,….. Taehyung-ah”
The younger froze where he stood,his heart lurched.
He wants to scream I Love You
God he love this man , loved him since long time ago
Why he didn’t know before ?, why this man didn’t know?
Taehyung’s felt his chest tightened painfully.
“I…” he whispered, stepping back a half-step without meaning to.
The man followed without moving his feet , his whole body leaning, reaching,
begging like gravity itself pulled him toward him.
“That’s not—”
“Then what?” Jin whispered hoarsely
“Because I tried. I tried so hard to stay away. To forget. To pretend I didn’t care”
His chest rose and fell faster, like he couldn’t control it anymore.
“But then I saw you with him again, in that golden shirt,
looking so… beautiful I thought ….I would die”
Taehyung’s lips parted, breath trembling feeling so overwhelmed by this
Side of the man , .. feeling so overwhelmed by his own feelings
Jin stepped closer again
“Tell me you don’t want me,” he whispered
“Please. I need to hear it from you “
Taehyung swallowed
The room suddenly felt too small
Taehyung wanted to tell him , to show his feelings but..he wants the man to remember
That moment , to be in his right mind to understand his words , to understand his heart
“Hyung… you’re drunk.”
“I’m drunk because of you,” Jin snapped quietly, not only angry , just heartbroken
“I’m here because of you…..can’t you see this?” he laughed with no humor
“God, ….Taehyung-ah,…… I’m— I’m so tired of wanting you alone”
His voice cracked again, still looking pissed
Taehyung’s throat tightened painfully that he couldn’t speak
Jin laughed again , bitter, shaky his glassy eyes looking around the room before
He snapped looking at him
“I wanted to hate you, …you know?” he whispered
“For leaving that night. For not calling. For choosing someone else...”
“I waited,” “God,…I waited so long …for you to look at me again”
Taehyung’s breath caught,standing there unable to move
“Hyung, you were with—” his words trembled before he was able to stop them
“With her?” Jin laughed, broken
“Do you think any of that matters? ......Do you think any of it was real?”
Taehyung flinched, heart pounding painfully in his chest
What?
Jin dragged a trembling hand through his hair.
He lifted his eyes again, soft and destroyed
“But I can’t hate you...... I’ve never been able to”
A beat
A painful silence
Then Jin’s voice softened to a trembling whisper.
“If I told you to choose me… would you?”
Taehyung felt the air leave his lungs
Jin took another unsteady step forward , now only an arm’s length away.
“I came here tonight because I can’t fight it anymore”
His breath hitched
“If you tell me you don’t want me, .....I’ll walk away.... I swear I will.”
Taehyung’s lips trembled visibly
“But if you…” Jin swallowed, voice barely sound
“If you say you want me — even a little — I’ll stay.”
Taehyung’s eyes stung violently
“Hyung…” he whispered, voice shaking
“I— I can’t… you’re—”
“Say it,” Jin whispered, stepping even closer
“Do you want me or not?” he closed his eyes like he don’t want to hear the
Answer
Taehyung’s entire body froze.
His heart screamed yes.
His mind screamed you’re someone else’s boyfriend
She is my girlfriend
“You left,….” Taehyung said, voice shaking.
“You left that night without even looking at me.....”
Jin opened his eyes , and Taehyung wished he hadn’t.
Because the pain there was so raw it looked almost childlike.
“I know,” Jin whispered
“And that was the biggest mistake I ever made”
Taehyung’s breath caught again, shoulders trembling.
“You…. kissed her,” he said, barely audible
“In front of everyone”
The man froze
Taehyung looked away, blinking too fast
“Do you know what that felt like?”
His voice cracked
“I stood there watching you kiss someone else while I—”
He choked on the rest, sobbing quietly
While I was falling apart.....
While I was loving you alone..
Jin stepped closer , too close , the air between them tightening.
“I know,” he whispered
“I know. I know. I know” he was crying too
Each word sounded like a wound
“I saw your face when you left. ………I can’t forget it”
Taehyung let out a shaky breath, finally looking back at him.
“Why did you do it?” he asked, voice breaking
“Why, hyung?”
Jin wet his lips, chest rising and falling too quickly.
“Because I saw his hand on your back,” he said honestly
“Because you smiled at him. Because you looked happy with him. Because I—”
His voice faltered
“Because I was jealous, Taehyung-ah….
So jealous it made me stupid”
Taehyung blinked, stunned
Jin stepped one small step closer…
“And because I thought… maybe you didn’t care anymore…”
He swallowed hard
“And I couldn’t take it”
“So you kissed her to hurt me?” Taehyung’s voice barely made it out….
Jin looked destroyed…
“Yeah….”
The hallway felt like it spun
Taehyung let out a small, broken laugh , tears sliding down his cheek
“You’re cruel,” he whispered
“You’re so cruel, hyung”
Jin’s face crumpled…
“I know,” he choked out
“And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”
Taehyung shook his head, tears falling freely now, shaking, unable to answer.
Unable to lie
Unable to tell the truth either,so he whispered instead
“She is your girlfriend, ..your words?” Taehyung couldn’t hold it anymore
Feeling all his past anger, frustrations , upset , love……all intertwining inside him
He watched the man breath stopped
“I don’t love her,” he said
“I never did”
Taehyung’s heart clenched so painfully he pressed a hand to his chest.
“Then why?” he whispered
“Why ….why go through with it?”
“Because I’m a coward….” Jin’s voice lowered, barely a whisper.
Taehyung froze, staring at him
Jin looked back , eyes glassy, jaw trembling.
“I’m a coward,” he repeated
“All my life, I’ve done what people wanted. ….What my father expected. …..What looked right. ……What was safe…..”
He took one more step closer until he could smell Taehyung’s shampoo
“But the only time I ever did something for myself—”
He looked at Taehyung like he was looking at a wound he loved.
“—was you.”
Taehyung’s breath hitched
Jin lifted a shaky hand, stopping inches away from Taehyung’s cheek like he didn’t
have the right to touch him anymore.
“And I ruined that too,” he whispered
Silence pressed around them
The kind that feels like a knife
Taehyung stared at him , at the trembling hand, at the ruined eyes,
at the beautiful suit that didn’t match the broken man inside it.
“Hyung…” he whispered, voice cracking…closing his eyes
“What do you want from me?”
“You”
Jin finally let the truth fall out of him, bare and shaking.
Taehyung’s heart stopped
“I want you,” Jin said, voice trembling like a confession he’d been dying to say.
“I want you even when I shouldn’t….. Even when it ruins me…….
Even when it’s already too late…..”
Taehyung felt something break inside him again and again , slow, loud, aching.
But then Jin finally touched him
Just the side of his face
A soft, terrified touch
“Tell me to go,” Jin whispered
“Tell me you don’t want me anymore, and I’ll leave…..”
Taehyung closed his eyes, tears falling……
He couldn’t say it.
He couldn’t lie
He opened his eyes again , broken, terrified, breath unsteady ,
and whispered back:
“I can’t…..”
Jin’s fingers trembled against his skin…
Neither of them moved…..
Both hurting….
Both longing…..
Both ruined…….
And both finally, finally unable to pretend anymore.
The man stepped closer then until their foreheads almost touched….
His voice dropped to a trembling whisper.
“Do you not want me?” Jin’asked again, voice rose,raw, desperate.
The sentence sounded like it ripped out of his lungs.
He then pressed closer , too close that Taehyung can smell his drunken hot breath
over his lips , damp forehead pressing on his now
“you have said you wanted me .. and tonight I …I want to be yours …….“
“Completely …”
The man lips was hovering over his and Taehyung can’t breath anymore
his mouth opened, then closed.
He didn’t know how to answer something so sharp, he still figuring out his emotions
“Tell me you don’t want me, ….Taehyung-ah”
“Tell me to stop…….”
“Tell me to walk away…….”
Closing his eyes , Taehyung shook his head weakly….
“I… I don’t know—”
Talk to him, … it’s your chance now
“Taehyung !…look at me “ Jin’s right hand moved to grip his arm
He can’t , god he can’t look at him without spilling his truth
“do …..do you love him ? “ the man glassy eyes still looking desperately at him
Taehyung looked away , still crying silently
“Why him ?….” Jin angry voice suddenly raised ,
“ why … why....why not me ?……”
I love you
It was never him
Taehyung wants to scream those words but his fears of rejection again
Stopping him , afraid the man will not remember all of this in the morning
Afraid this gorgeous man wouldn’t be his at the end
Afraid he was only wanted him in a physical terms only…
He never experience love before , never experience to have his heart
Broken by a man
By a man he loves so bad
God , why this is so hard
but then suddenly—
The man collapsed
Literally fell to his knees on the wooden floor, hands trembling as they clutched
Taehyung’s waist, forehead pressed weakly to his stomach.
Taehyung’s breath broke into pieces…
“Hyung— what are you doing—”
“Choose me,” he whispered, voice shaking violently
“Please… please choose me”
Taehyung froze, lips parted in shock….
heart beating so fast it hurt……
God, why he was like that ?,……. why he was drunk ?
Why he wouldn’t remember this in the morning …….
The man lifted his face
Eyes red….
Tears streaking down skin
Every wall gone
“I’m begging you,” he whispered brokenly
“Take me. ………Tell me you want me.
Tell me not to marry her… tell me to stay…
tell me to run…. I don’t care…… just tell me you want me too…..”
Taehyung couldn’t answer, he only cried loudly now ,
Body shaking
Few minutes has passed , but Taehyung just kept crying
He didn’t know what he should do now ? , how he should tell this man
He had wanted him, still wanted him that hurt so bad
Taehyung swallowed hard through his tears
“Hyung…” he breathed, “please get up…..”
But the man only leaned closer
his forehead pressing weakly to Taehyung’s stomach, breath warm through the fabric.
Taehyung’s knees shook….
He reached down without thinking, grabbing Jin’s shoulders, trying to lift him.
But Jin surged upward suddenly
grabbing Taehyung’s arm, pulling himself up
And before Taehyung could step back, their faces collided
Not a kiss…. not yet
Just breath
Hot, shaking, shared….
Their noses brushed
Taehyung froze
The man’s eyes lifted slowly,
dark and wet and open in a way that made Taehyung’s lungs burn.
“Taehyung-ah…”
The way he said his name, soft, desperate, felt like a hand around his heart.
Then he leaned in, slowly, like he was afraid Taehyung would run.
He didn’t move.
Couldn’t.,
And when the man’s lips finally touched his—
He inhaled sharply.
Jin’s lips parted, soft, uncertain, trembling….eyes closed
Taehyung couldn’t move or breath , he couldn’t kiss back
Few seconds had passed with Jin’s lips pressed against his softly ,
When he didn’t kiss back for more seconds, he felt the man breaking the touch ,
stepping back softly
He watched his face fell , slowly, painfully.
He understood the silence immediately
He nodded once, jaw tightening, tears collecting in his lashes.
“Okay…” he whispered, voice breaking into a whisper
“Okay..... I get it”
“Hyung— wait……” Taehyung stepped forward instinctively,
heart slamming painfully inside his ribs.
But Jin only smiled , small, shattered.
“You don’t have to explain”
He brushed past him gently,
fingertips grazing Taehyung’s wrist, lingering like they didn’t want to leave.
“You already answered.”
He then turned for the door.
And when the time comes… you decide if that love is something to fight for
But before he reaches the door , Taehyung grabbed his sleeve.
Turning him around hastily and before he could think his
Lips were pressed hard against him again ,
before he whisper
“Hyung, ….don’t go”
Taehyung couldn’t let his mind speak in that moment
so he let his lips do the talking instead.
All the past frustration, waiting, and longing for him came back in waves,
pouring into that desperate kiss.
He knew he should talk,
should let the anger out first,
should tell him everything he was holding inside
But he couldn’t
Not when he saw him this broken,
crying,
on his knees,
begging
Taehyung couldn’t
If this man wanted him like that,
then he would be that for him.
Even if Jin wouldn’t remember in the morning,
even if Taehyung’s own heart was bleeding for him ...
Taehyung wanted to give him what he wanted.
“You said you wanted me… and tonight I—I want to be yours…”
“Completely…”
When Jin’s hard body pressed him against Jimin’s closed front door,
Taehyung couldn’t resist kissing him back this time.
The kiss was clumsy, uncoordinated, desperate,
like both of them were drowning in their own feelings and wanting each other too much
Choose me
That’s what Taehyung wanted to whisper
He wanted to fall to his knees and beg too
Because he had just realized he had chosen this man a long time ago,
and kept choosing him again and again…
but he wasn’t sure if the man had ever chosen him back.
They were taking turns now,
each one pressing the other against Jimin’s hallway walls,
each one trying to dominate that wild kiss.
God, he had missed him
Missed being kissed like he was the only one Jin had the right to touch
Jin pushed him back against the wall again, and this time Taehyung didn’t fight.
He simply surrendered.
The kiss broke with a soft, wet sound,
Jin’s nose brushing his gently before he whispered against his lips:
“Look at me…”
When Taehyung opened his eyes slowly,
his breath hitched.
The man looked even more beautiful like this, ruined in that perfect black suit,
glowing under the hallway’s warm light,
eyes heavy with pain and longing.
Taehyung’s eyes stung.
He didn’t realize he was crying until the man's bandaged hand cupped his cheek,
and long fingers wiped away his tears so softly,
the complete opposite of the hard kiss they’d been sharing moments ago.
“Why are you… crying now?” he whispered
“I… because…”
Taehyung couldn’t find his words.
Because I love you
But he didn’t say it
They just looked at each other,
both of them breathing unevenly,
like they were trying to match each other’s rhythm.
“God… I missed you so bad,” Jin confessed in a broken voice
Taehyung’s heart slammed in his chest at those words
Instead of replying, he held Jin's hand on his cheek,
turning slightly to press a soft kiss to the trembling injured palm.
He hoped the man could see him through that touch
See everything he felt
See his heart
“I missed you too…” he whispered, nuzzling into that warm hand,
gazing up at him through shimmering tears.
The man made a low, trembling sound at that,
before his other hand came up to frame Taehyung’s face,
pulling him into another wild, consuming kiss.
They were kissing frantically again in the middle of Jimin’s living room.
Taehyung didn’t even know how they got there, one moment, the man’s lips were on his,
desperate and trembling, and the next, Taehyung found himself stumbling backward under the pressure of the man’s mouth.
Jin’s arm curled tight around his waist, pulling him closer like he was afraid Taehyung might disappear.
His other hand,the bandaged one,never left his face, cupping his cheek gently even through the wildness of the kiss.
Before Taehyung could slow the kiss so they wouldn’t trip, his back hit something hard.,
The edge of the dining table
Right
Jimin’s open kitchen was right behind them.
He tried to guide the man toward the couch, somewhere they wouldn’t break bones,
but before he could move, Jin seized him again, turning him sharply and pressing him against the fridge.
The cold metal hit Taehyung’s spine, and he gasped, but Jin swallowed the sound instantly.
His kisses were frantic now, hot, fevered, unrestrained,
And when Jin bit his lower lip, Taehyung couldn’t stop the broken moan that slipped out.
God
What was he supposed to do?
Jin’s hands moved everywhere at once, clumsy with urgency, trying to undo his own bow tie,
shrug off his jacket, tug at Taehyung’s hoodie, all with one functioning hand and a mouth that refused
to stop kissing him long enough to breathe.
Heat rushed through Taehyung’s whole body
Shit
He was getting hard
It was happening, no, it had already happened
But what if his hyung regretted all this tomorrow?
What if he woke up and acted like none of this ever happened?
Taehyung wouldn’t survive that heartbreak twice
His mind screamed at him to stop,
but his desperate heart pulled him deeper, whispering surrender.
Because he had promised himself he would only give his body to someone special…
to the man his heart chose…
under the name of love
But wasn’t this the man he had already chosen?
Yes
And God, he wanted him
He wanted to make love to him, wanted to give him everything
A mocking voice whispered somewhere inside him:
“Funny. You begged for this man long before you even knew it was love,
Accused him of running away… and now you’re the one running?”
Taehyung clenched his eyes shut
What if the man didn’t remember any of this tomorrow?
He wanted him to remember
He needed him to remember everything Taehyung was willing to give.
He was lost in that thought when suddenly the man lifted him,strong hands sliding under his thighs,
pulling him off the ground like he weighed nothing.
Their jackets and hoodie were already discarded on the floor
Before Taehyung could breathe, Jin set him down on the dining table,
kissing him like he had been starving for months.
Taehyung leaned back, trying to find balance so he could kiss him properly,
but the man refused any distance,
He kept dragging Taehyung closer to the edge, refusing even a breath between them.
Taehyung whimpered softly when Jin’s hand slid under his shirt, hot against his burning skin.
This…
this was the first time he had ever seen him like this
The man chased his lips again when he tried to pull back to breathe.
“Hyun..ng—”
But Jin didn’t hear him
Or maybe he did, but couldn’t stop,
His mouth moved to Taehyung’s neck, open-mouthed kisses trailing along his skin,
sucking softly until Taehyung’s head fell back with a helpless moan.
His fingers curled into that perfect styled hair, ruining it completely.
God…
It seemed he couldn’t do anything tonight except surrender
Even if he wouldn’t remember this in the morning,
Taehyung would
He’d keep it cherished hidden in his heart forever
“Hy…ung…”
Jin lifted his head finally, eyes half-lidded, flushed, breath hot on Taehyung’s lips
“Yeah… baby,” he whispered
Taehyung’s heart split at the tenderness
He swallowed hard
“C-Can… can we… move to the couch instead?” he asked softly, fighting not to stutter.
Jin didn’t answer
He simply hauled Taehyung off the table—effortlessly—and turned toward the couch,
still kissing him like he couldn’t live without it.
God
Taehyung knew in that moment
He wouldn’t survive this side of the man.
Their kisses had slowed down a bit after they settled onto Jimin’s small couch.
The couch was too tiny for both of them, so Taehyung ended up sitting on Jin’s lap,
kissing down on him
He tried to match the man’s rhythm, but nervousness was crawling up his spine.
He didn’t know how far this night would go.
It was his first time… his first time in an intimate moment like this, with his heart involved too.
and he was nervous because this will be the first time to the man too , with another man
With Minjae, their relationship never reached this kind of intimacy
They did things here and there, but never sex
Taehyung had never actually gone that far with anyone before
He always said the first time should be for someone special
Jimin would always tease him, calling him his “pink princess” whenever Taehyung shared those thoughts.
But now, here he was, heart pounding,
lips swollen, sitting on the lap of the only man he ever truly wanted.
He could feel the man’s arousal under him because of the way he was sitting,
and Taehyung felt his nerves spike even higher.
He broke the kiss slowly, breathing hard
Jin leaned his head back against the couch, eyes half-open,
hair messy, lips red and swollen.
Taehyung felt his cheeks flush under that gaze
Without even thinking, his fingers moved on their own
They slid gently through Jin’s soft strands, brushing them away from his forehead.
The elder’s eyes fluttered closed at the touch
“Are you okay… hyung?” Taehyung whispered when he noticed his flushed face.
His breath was shallow, like he was fighting sleep, drunkenness, and emotion all at once.
the man only hummed in response
“Do you… want to lie down for a bit?”
They eventually ended up on the floor of the living room with a pile of blankets from Jimin’s storage room.
Taehyung didn’t feel right them sleeping on Jimin’s bed, especially when Jimin himself wasn’t home.
So he arranged blankets and pillows on the floor, fussing quietly,
making sure the space was warm enough.
The heater clicked on with a soft hum, thank God
He kept throwing worried glances at the elder man,
who was still slumped against the couch, eyes closed, body shivering faintly
Is he cold?
God… how much did he drink tonight?
The night air was freezing, so Taehyung double, checked the heater,
adjusting it until the room warmed enough to melt the chill.
Finally, when everything was ready, he let out a long, shaky sigh and looked back at him
The man hadn’t moved..
He was still leaning against the couch, eyes closed, breaths slow and uneven
Taehyung stepped closer
“Hyung…” he called softly.
They were sitting facing each other on the mattress of blankets now, kissing softly
Taehyung had thought the man would pass out the moment his head touched a pillow,
but it seemed he had fought his hazy mind just enough to grab Taehyung’s waist again,
dragging him into another kiss the second he leaned close.
Taehyung’s whole body froze when he felt the man catch his right hand and guide it toward
the buttons of his own shirt—wordlessly asking him to undress him.
God
It was happening
Taehyung tried not to panic, not when the man was still kissing him like he was starved,
like he had been holding this in for months.
But Taehyung’s heart was pounding too hard—nervous, overwhelmed, terrified and wanting all at once.
When he broke the kiss, he looked up at him under the dim glow of the small table lamp.
The man’s face was scattered—eyes glassy, lips swollen,
hair messy in soft strands—yet somehow he looked even more beautiful in that warm light.
“Hyung… are you—”
“I want to be yours”
The man cut him off, voice thick, breath shaky.
Taehyung felt his heart slam painfully against his ribs.
God
He wanted to ask
Will you regret this?
Will you hate me tomorrow?
Please don’t hate me…
But instead he leaned in and kissed him again—because he couldn’t say any of it out loud without breaking.
When he pulled back again, he looked down at his trembling fingers as they moved slowly to undo the buttons of the his shirt.
He could feel the man watching him closely, breath warm,
but Taehyung couldn’t meet his eyes. Not now. Not when he was this scared
He had only opened three buttons when he heard it—
A soft, broken sob
Taehyung’s heart dropped
“Hyung…?” he whispered, cupping the man’s face with both hands
“I’m sorry… I—I can’t,” Jin choked out, voice cracking.
“I’m so sorry… please forgive me…”
His voice broke completely as he started crying harder, breath hitching, shoulders trembling.
Taehyung felt something inside him shatter...
He had never seen him cry like this
Never heard him sound so lost
Before he could even think, Taehyung pulled him into his arms—holding him tight,
closing his arms around those wide shaking shoulders, pressing Jin’s face against his chest.
God, he hated himself now for pushing too far...
Hated her
Hated the man's father—even before meeting him
Hated anyone who had ever made this man cry like this
Taehyung’s arms tightened protectively around him,
one hand moving through his hair, the other rubbing slow circles on his back,soft, soothing,just letting him break.
And Jin broke
He cried against Taehyung’s chest softly at first,
then louder, the hiccups shaking his whole body.
Taehyung didn’t move
Didn’t speak
Just held him tighter...
They stayed just like that for a long time—until the sobs finally calmed into quiet, shaky breaths.
Jin’s damp face was still pressed to his chest, Taehyung’s fingers still stroking gently through his hair and down his back.
Only when the trembling had eased fully did Taehyung slowly pull back, holding his hands instead
“Feeling better, hyung…?” he whispered
Jin only nodded once. His hair had fallen messily over his eyes,
making him look younger, smaller… painfully lost
“Do you want a painkiller? Do you feel sick?”
Jin shook his head softly. He wasn’t looking at Taehyung, only at their joined hands,
like he was afraid to lift his eyes
Taehyung let out a soft sigh
“Okay…” he murmured gently, brushing the hair from the man’s forehead
“Let’s lay you down, hm?”
He guided him slowly toward the blankets, heart aching with something too big to name.
They lay down together on their sides, facing each other, only a small of space between them.
Jin’s drunken face looked seconds away from sleep, yet he fought it stubbornly,
glassy eyes fixed on Taehyung's with a softness that made Taehyung’s cheeks heat.
He returned that gentle smile, feeling all the tangled emotions inside him unravel slowly, one by one.
Jin lifted a shaky hand to cup his face, fingertips brushing delicately under Taehyung’s eyes.
He took a slow inhale before whispering, voice low and unguarded:
“God… you’re so beautiful..... It drives me crazy”
Taehyung’s heart slammed painfully against his ribs
You too, he wanted to say
But he only lowered his gaze instead, suddenly shy at the attention
It was the first time the man had ever said something like that to him
Taehyung always knew he was attractive, people often told him so,
but hearing it from the man he was in love with… it felt different.
Dangerously different
His eyes drifted down to the opened collar of Jin’s shirt,
the stretch of flushed skin at his neck exposed.
Taehyung wanted to lean forward and kiss it again..
Instead, he whispered softly,
“Try to sleep, hyung”
Jimin’s apartment was incredibly quiet , only the hum of the heater and their uneven breathing filling the space.
Taehyung watched Jin finally close his eyes, surrendering to exhaustion,
his warm palm still resting on Taehyung’s cheek.
He gently took that hand, pressed a small kiss to it,
then placed it on the blanket between them, holding it there.
He stayed awake, watching him breathe.
Watching him just… exist
And slowly, the truth slipped into place inside him
You’re in love, babo-ya
God… he loved this man
Deeply
Hopelessly
Already too much
He had been in love for a long time , he realized that now.
Since the first time he saw him standing on their porch steps months ago,
wearing a crisp white shirt, broad shoulders framed by the soft afternoon light,
military buzz cut, gentle brown eyes, and an even gentler voice.
How could anyone not fall in love with a man like that?
He fell in love before they even made that stupid agreement
Before the touches, before the jealousy, before the kisses in the dark
All that tension, the possessiveness, the frustration,
the way Taehyung burned every time he saw him with her…
It wasn’t just desire
It wasn’t just attraction
It was love
That’s why everything hurt so much
He didn’t know it then because he had never been in love before
He didn’t know how it looked or how it felt
Jimin’s words circled endlessly in his mind:
“You just didn’t know what it looked like because you’ve never been in love before”
Taehyung knew he needed time , time to heal, time to sort through everything,
time to understand himself.
But tonight… tonight he allowed himself to feel it completely.
Allowed himself to drown in every emotion tearing through his chest
as he lay beside the man who held his heart so effortlessly.
His man
Feeling warm and strangely giddy,
He scooted closer until their foreheads nearly touched,
until he felt the man's soft breath ghost across his lips.
Until their noses brushed gently..
In the smallest whisper, Taehyung let the words escape:
“I think I’m in love with you…”
He opened his eyes carefully...
Jin was still asleep...
Didn’t stir, didn’t open his eyes , only his lashes trembled,
and a soft shudder ran through him in his sleep.
Taehyung bit his lip, feeling his heart burst painfully and beautifully inside him.
His first confession… and the man didn’t hear it.
Maybe it was better that way , for now
He reached down to button Jin’s half-open shirt properly, covering the man’s shivering body with the blanket.
His ears burned when he remembered their earlier heated kisses,
the desperation, the way he pressed him against the wall like he couldn’t breathe without him.
A part of him felt disappointed things didn’t go further...
But another part of him felt relief , he wasn’t ready yet,
not with everything inside him still tangled and raw.
He leaned forward, pressing the softest kiss to the man's swollen unaware lips
“Sleep well… my love”