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It had officially been one week since Janet Van Dyne returned Earthside and Scott Lang was made a free man. The air was crisp and warmed, the gardens were lush, and it was the perfect day for a celebratory barbeque.
Ava had never been to a barbeque. She told Bill this while she anxiously tied her hair into pigtails that morning, looking in the mirror like her reflection could shatter it.
“We aren't family,” she said, trying to keep her voice stable.
“Scott invited us specifically, kiddo. They want us there.” Bill gave her a reassuring smile that she couldn't match just yet.
“You hate Hank Pym,” she deflected. She said the name like it was sour.
Bill sighed. “I am willing to tolerate him. Don't worry about any of that, just go and have a good time.”
Ava hummed nervously. She rolled the ends of her hair in her fingertips, taking in the texture.
“You promise to stay with me?” she asked finally, voice low and eyes not meeting his.
He crossed the room to stand behind her, bending down and meeting her gaze in the mirror. “Always, Ava. I'm always right here.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed gently. She finally smiled.
So here Ava was, sitting in the backyard of the Pym-Van Dyne home with the wind rustling her hair. Hank and Scott were manning the grill; Hank on burgers and Scott attempting hot dogs. Hope, Bill, and Janet sat chatting at a patio table underneath a blue umbrella. That left Ava and Cassie to their own devices.
It wasn't the first time she spent time with the smallest Lang. Three days ago Bill had told her to go play dolls while he and Janet talked about something science-y that Ava didn't want to remember she could understand. She didn't know how to play dolls; all she ever had was her little white bear that paled in comparison to Cassie’s grand Barbie collection. Despite that, Cassie was eager to show her how to act out the storylines and make the best outfits. By the time Bill came to collect Ava, Ken was sleeping in the dog house and a full party raged inside the pink mansion. Cassie even gave her one of her dolls to take home.
She could see it still now, even as she laid in the grass soaking up the sun. The doll was sitting on her nightstand right next to the framed photo of her parents Bill said he “found” in the attic. No more chamber, no more quantum rays. Just a bed and a nightstand and soft blankets and afternoons spent sunbathing.
As out of place as she felt in this family, Ava wondered if everything was finally perfect.
Her eyes were closed as the sun softly warmed her face when suddenly she could sense her surroundings going dark. Ava cracked her right eye open expecting a cloud. Instead, she found Cassie standing above her, bent down to about six inches from her nose. Ava startled as Cassie giggled.
“Good, I thought you were asleep! Come on, I want to show you how to climb the tree!” Cassie bounced on the balls of her feet, pointing behind her at the grand oak tree. Ava rubbed her eyes and slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position.
“Climb the… tree?”
Cassie nodded excitedly. She didn't explain further, instead just shouting “C’mon!” as she raced off towards the trunk. Ava turned to see over her shoulder, sending Bill a look like she was asking for permission. She thought he might tell her no, call it dangerous and unnecessary, but instead he caught her eye and gave her a soft smile. Janet was looking at her now too with some sort of loving gaze that should be familiar but instead registered as a time before. Hope was distracted, incredulously inspecting the hot dog Scott was insisting she try. It was nearly black.
Ava stood up and jogged off to the tree before she could be his next guinea pig.
Cassie was already dangling from the lowest branch by the time she reached her. She gave Ava a toothy grin and pulled herself up to sit on it like she had done it a million times. Ava looked weary. From her height, she could easily grab the branch without lifting her arm above her head.
“Just climb on! Once you get up it's easier,” Cassie encouraged, already standing and scrambling for the next branch. Ava craned her neck back to look up the center of the tree, studying the rungs laid out before her. It was tall. She hoped Cassie wasn't about to take her all the way up.
Getting to the first branch was hard. She was too short to reach the next one and use it to pull herself up, but it was too high to get enough leverage to push with her leg. She ended up very ungracefully dragging herself up with her upper body, hugging the limb like some sort of reject koala. Ava was attempting to catch her breath when she heard Cassie giggle above her.
“See? You got it!”
Ava looked up and found herself actually smiling. She placed her hand against the bark of the trunk. It felt rough, solid and scratchy under her palm. She could make out all the different ridges and valleys along its surface.
She found her grip and pulled herself up, climbing towards the next hold.
From here, the branches got closer together and easier to navigate. Ava followed Cassie’s path, absolutely refusing to look down at the ground or back towards the patio. She could feel a few stray sticks and leaves that had accumulated in her pigtails. Cassie didn't look much better, with a scratch on her cheek and a tear on her leggings.
Ava grabbed onto the next branch and moved her foot to step up. Cassie opened her mouth to say something, but Ava didn't hear it. One second she was standing on the tree and the next her shoe was passing straight through it. She gasped softly, and then she pitched forward, tumbling towards the ground.
Cassie screamed, then Scott screamed, then people came running across the yard. Ava didn’t process any of it before she was laying on her stomach. The dirt beneath her might as well have been concrete. Her shoulder burned and there was a leaf in her mouth. Her ankle was twisted; tears welled up in her eyes quicker than she could realize where she was.
Bill’s hand rested on her shoulder and she yelped. He pulled back and instead moved to cup her chin, lifting her head to look at him. She clenched her eyes shut, her ears ringing. In the background, she thought she heard Hope telling Cassie to get down. Maybe there was the sound of Scott asking what happened. All Ava could do was lay there and hyperventilate, the tears streaking down her face without her permission.
“Ava, Ava girlie I need you to look at me. You’ve gotta breathe,” Bill said, but it sounded like he was underwater. Ava choked on a sob and tried to open her eyes. It was too bright, his face was too upset. She just closed them again.
Someone else kneeled down beside her, joints popping. “Ava, sweetheart,” Janet said. Her voice cut through the fog. It was soft and steady where Bill was panicked. “What hurts?”
Cassie jumped down into Scott’s waiting arms while Ava tried to pull herself together enough to give an answer. Every time she could get a breath in, she saw her foot going through the branch again and started to sob harder. But Janet was rubbing comforting circles on her upper back and Bill was picking the sticks out of her hair. She coughed weakly.
“M-my ankle,” she finally managed. “Shoulder.” Her voice was impossibly whiny but she couldn't get anything else out.
Some sort of exchange happened between Janet and Bill that Ava was crying too much to hear. The next thing she knew, Bill was lifting her up off the ground and getting her to sit with her back up against the tree. He scooted over, making room for Hope, who placed gentle hands on either side of her shoulder and popped it back into place. Ava bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. She got good at not screaming through the pain.
Most of the next ten minutes were a big blur for Ava. The adults (sometimes it was hard to remember that she was an adult too) talked in hushed whispers. Bill and Scott stood on either side of her to get her to her feet. Cassie helped Hank transfer hamburger patties into foil while he grumbled about kids these days can't stay out of trouble. Ava whined and whimpered, feeling like she was back in that alleyway all over again. She gripped Bill’s flannel shirt as tight as she could.
When her vision stopped swimming finally, she was sitting on the couch in Janet and Hank’s living room. Her foot had been propped up on a pillow with a bag of ice wrapping her ankle. Her shoulder throbbed and her whole body was trembling. She reached out blindly for someone to hold onto and instead knocked over a plastic cup. Water spilled across the hardwood floors as footsteps approached from the kitchen.
Janet appeared in the doorway and Ava began to cry again.
“M sorry, ‘m sorry I didn’t mean-” Ava cut herself off with her own crying. She pressed her palms to her eyes, finally feeling the scrapes from where she had lost hold of the bark.
Janet’s voice was soft when she rounded the coffee table and kneeled down to get on Ava’s level. “It's okay darling, it's just water. It’ll clean,” she assured her. She gently gripped her wrists, pulling her hands down from her face. She pressed a damp cloth into her palms. “Hold that, for the blood.”
Ava sniffled, more things starting to hurt as the adrenaline faded. Janet threw a towel down over the spill and apparently deemed that good enough for now, because it was only a few seconds before she was back to fussing over Ava. She pulled the last twig out of her ponytail and set it aside, then braced Ava’s good shoulder and removed the pillow from behind her back. She didn’t have time to ask what Janet was doing before Ava suddenly found herself being held.
Janet was warm and solid behind her and it took nothing for Ava to melt into the hold. She didn't know she still had tears left to fall, but she felt her face getting wet again. She couldn't think about it took much before the soft blanket was wiping the tears away.
“My foot went through the tree,” Ava blurted out, burying her face into Janet’s shirt. The older woman was quiet for a moment, just gently petting her hair. She sighed softly.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” she finally said, voice filled with some feeling Ava couldn't name. Emotional intelligence was the last thing on SHIELD’s priority list. She sounded almost… guilty. “We’re going to figure out how to make it permanent, I promise.”
Ava sniffled and gripped the cloth tighter. She wanted to argue, wanted to scream and cry about how I thought you already did that but she was out of energy. Instead they sat in silence. She could just barely hear outside, hear that everyone else was having lunch on the patio. She didn't know if Bill had left her or if Janet had shoved him out. Maybe she was just too much for him today. Words bubbled up Ava’s throat but none of them felt right. Finally, she settled on “I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely a whisper, echoing Janet’s words. “I didn't want to ruin it, I didn't want-”
“Oh, honey.” Janet brushed Ava’s cheek with her knuckles and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She ran her hand down the length of Ava’s arm, grounding her, soothing her. “You didn't ruin anything. Everything's okay.”
Ava wanted to bite back with nothing feels okay! but instead her shoulders hunched. Janet hugged her gently, squeezing just enough to keep her in the room. She cradled her head to her chest and Ava could smell the laundry detergent she used, like summer and flowers and home. It was the smell of something Ava hadn’t had in so long she could barely remember it. It smelled motherly.
“I don't know how to be normal,” she mumbled into Janet’s soft cotton shirt. “I don't know how to be anything but broken. But… but a wea-pon.” Her voice broke as tears threatened to pour again. She squeezed her eyes shut to hold them back.
Janet stroked her hair, being so gentle around the knots. “Babygirl, nobody here wants you to be anything but you. You were never broken, just hurting. We’ll help you when it hurts again.”
Ava’s breath hitched, but the sob that came out felt more like relief than shame. She almost couldn’t feel the burn in her ankle or the freezing ice anymore, all she was surrounded by was Janet’s embrace. The window was open and she could smell the grill- Hank’s perfect burgers and what once had been a hot dog but now was just a charred cylinder after Scott touched it. The back door opened slightly and Cassie peeked her head in.
“I brought Ava a burger.”
Ava peered around Janet to look towards the door. She was hungry. Cassie met her eyes and beamed, showing off the plate she was clearly proud of.
The door opened all the way and the girl rushed in holding a paper plate. Ava sat up as much as she could while trying not to move her leg. She gave Cassie a grateful smile, as much as she could manage with her energy zapped. Bill appeared in the doorway and they could hear Hank complaining about Cassie letting flies in. He carefully shut it behind him, then leaned on the bookshelf so as to not crowd the couch.
“How’s my girl holding up?” he asked fondly. Ava met his eyes as she took a bite of her burger. Janet squeezed her arm.
“She's gonna be just fine.”