Chapter 1: History Repeats
Chapter Text
“99.” Caitlyn said with a smug look on her face, holding up the stapled sheets of paper.
She leaned over the back of her chair proudly, looking down her nose at a slouched Vi. The classroom buzzed around them, various reactions to marks could be made out over the commotion.
Vi could only focus on Caitlyn. Sure enough, her eyes eventually narrowed in on the red marker. She hummed in acknowledgement.
“What did you get?” Caitlyn tilted her head at Vi and arched an eyebrow.
“98.” Vi grunted.
Caitlyn’s gapped teeth flashed in a sweet smile. “Better luck next time.”
She whipped her head back around to face the front of the class, her hair skimming the back of her chair in a sleek sheet.
Vi shoved the sheets of paper in her bag, jostling her pencil case around to cover the circled red ‘100’ on the front.
To admit to Caitlyn that the perfect score was the result of her rigorous studying to make up for the time she spent burning holes through her head in class would be a humiliation ritual.
But here she was, watching Caitlyn tuck a fallen strand of hair behind her ear, the wisps of it caressing her jaw.
She couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment that the revelation had occurred. The revelation that Caitlyn Kiramman was attractive. But it had become a problem.
There were too many years between them and maybe that just meant it was a moment of overexposure. Forced proximity that had forced Vi to commit every detail of Caitlyn to memory.
Vi was practically willing herself to just push through until the end of the year but the stolen glances were infiltrating her mind and suffocating her.
“Lanes.” Salo’s voice floated through the classroom. His arms were folded neatly across his chest as he leaned against the front of his desk and peered out at the rows of students.
It snapped Vi out of her trance, only to realise Caitlyn was shooting daggers at her.
She looked at her wide eyed before clearing her throat and snapping her attention to Salo. “Hm?”
“Highest mark in the class is no mean feat. Clearly you’ve exhausted yourself too much to pay attention in class.” He sneered.
“Clearly.” She replied casually, rubbing at her nose.
Lest snorted next to Vi, threatening to make her crack.
Salo’s expression morphed into something chilling. “Are we paying attention?”
Vi and Lest both nodded, grinning at each other when he turned to the blackboard, spindly fingers taking a piece of chalk.
Caitlyn had jumped into taking notes, her forehead hovering mere inches above her desk. It was a habit that Vi had begun to take notice of. Along with the grip she had on her pen and the hunch of her shoulders.
“He hates that you’re smart.” Lest laughed as they trawled through the hallway.
“Oh, I know.” Vi chuckled.
“I hate that you’re smart.” Lest nudged Vi.
Vi shouldered her in return and pulled the test out of her bag, dangling it in front of Lest’s face. “Read it and weep.”
“If I brought that mark home my parents would accuse me of identity theft.” Lest said.
A set of perfectly manicured fingers snatched the test from Vi’s hands. “Hey!”
“You lied.” Caitlyn had swung around them from behind and was now blocking their path, her face lined with anger. “Why?” She asked pointedly.
Vi went to step around her. “If you don’t mind. Your superiority complex is blocking the hallway.”
Caitlyn mirrored her step. “Answer me.”
Vi rolled her own eyes, mostly because her wit threatened to buckle under the piercing blue of Caitlyn’s.
“We’ve got to preserve the golden child’s ego. Right?” She smirked at Lest who nodded.
“Violet Lanes.” Caitlyn said sternly.
“Princess?” Vi asked innocently.
Caitlyn glared at her. “I’ll get to the bottom of this.”
“Like you got to the bottom of the third question?”
“How did you-”
“I saw you asking for help with it last week.”
“So you’re keeping tabs on me?” Caitlyn folded her arms. “That’s low. Even for you, Lanes.”
Vi looked at her test in Caitlyn’s hand and then back at Caitlyn. “Seems to be working.” She shrugged.
“Watch yourself.” Caitlyn said, her voice low.
Without another word, she shoved the paper into Vi’s chest and forged a path between Vi and Lest.
Vi watched her go, biting her cheek to keep from smiling. Caitlyn joined Mel in her stride, the two of them commandeering the hallway.
Caitlyn whispered something to Mel who whipped her head around and practically snarled at Vi.
Vi held both of her hands up and smirked.
Lest let out a low whistle once they had recovered their walking positions. “Is it cold in here or is that just me?”
Vi just laughed, not mentioning the acute awareness of the flush creeping up her neck.
Caitlyn Kiramman was nothing like Vi, and yet they were two sides of the same coin. Where Caitlyn was precise, Vi was reckless. Where Vi was unable to be tamed, Caitlyn existed in an enclosure of standards that were expected to be met. Still, they found themselves in the midst of an unlikely rivalry that had plagued their childhoods and remained inescapable.
Every achievement of Vi’s had occurred under the guise of whether Caitlyn had succeeded further or not.
8th grade. To Vi’s dismay, the last year that she would ever be taller than Caitlyn. In a fateful turn of events involving the weather and a low budget for rescheduling, Vi’s championship soccer game and Caitlyn’s final ballet recital for the school year fell on the same night.
Vi had been granted the title of MVP for the match, dragging her team to victory through defense. Her muddy, grazed knees rested on the shoulders of her team as she flashed her biggest grin, the action pulling apart the fresh cut on her upper lip. She didn’t even feel it.
Her eyes met Powder's, who was scrambling around on Vander’s shoulders. She was screeching over the crowd as Vander tried to hold her legs still while she repeatedly kicked him in the chest. Vi chuckled and waved.
The next week, Vi had excitedly picked up the school newsletter from the office, sure that the Firelights star midfielder would be front and centre. She would have something to take home, something to hold over Caitlyn.
It was Caitlyn who was staring back at her from the front page of the newsletter. In a prissy pink tutu, her arms poised with one raised above her head and a leg extended, parallel to the ground. The spotlight above her cast her in a haunting glow that consumed the entirety of the page.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Violet.” The receptionist warned over her spectacles.
“Vi.” She corrected, still flicking through the newsletter.
“Vi.” The receptionist parroted back to her, waiting for Vi’s attention.
She finally found the page, a blurry and awkwardly cropped photo of her being lifted by her team was squished into a corner. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. What?” Her head snapped to the receptionist.
“Language.” She replied, sternly.
“Shit. Sorry.” Vi responded.
A pause. The receptionist looked at her pointedly. For a straight A student, Vi had a healthy habit of testing the patience of authority.
“Sorry. Again .” Vi grimaced, leaning her back on the door and stumbling out of it, right into Caitlyn Kiramman.
The first thing Vi noticed was that Caitlyn’s eyes were close to meeting Vi’s in height. The second was the sigh that escaped Caitlyn’s lips in response to Vi almost slamming into her.
“You’ve grown, Kiramman.” Vi frowned.
“Maybe you’ve shrunk.” Caitlyn smiled sweetly.
Vi considered her for a moment. “Funny.”
Caitlyn’s eyes lingered on the cut on Vi’s lip. “An injury like that and no front page feature to show for it.”
Vi’s nostrils flared slightly. “Yeah, well, I just feel sorry for whoever had to photograph you.”
“At least they took the time to get me in focus.” Caitlyn pouted at Vi.
Vi grumbled. “Whatever. What are you doing here anyway?”
“You mean at the school I’m a student at?” Caitlyn’s eyebrows furrowed.
“At the office.” Vi clarified. “Clearly you’ve already picked up the newsletter and studied my picture enough to rub it in.”
“Not much to study.” Caitlyn shrugged. “I’m picking up my lunch. Dad forgot to pack it.”
“Shit. Mr Kiramman’s here? Need me to hide so he doesn’t know Zaunite’s also attend his daughter’s school?” Vi looked around at potential spots for dramatic effect.
“Won’t be necessary. He will have sent someone else.”
“Right,” Vi nodded, “how could I forget?”
Caitlyn hummed. “Can I go now?” She nodded towards the office.
“Since you asked so nicely.” She watched Caitlyn walk away, a familiar routine they had gotten themselves into. That she had gotten herself into. The change of cadence in Caitlyn’s step was unmistakable and Vi attributed it to the couple of inches of extra height. Her gangly knees almost knocked and there was a slight slouch to her posture, as if she was trying to conceal her presence.
If Caitlyn Kiramman was going to be taller than her, Vi considered it a blessing that she didn’t know how to manage it.
Vi absentmindedly traced her fingers over the scar on her lip, the divots in skin that she had become familiar with during daydreams and moments of overthinking.
“You’re coming, right?” Powder looked at her with puffy eyes.
“Sorry, where?” Vi studied her face sadly.
“The ballet recital. I’m a stagehand.”
“You know that means you don’t actually perform or anything, right?” Mylo snickered.
Vi kicked him under the table, he clenched his fist and doubled over. “Of course I’m coming.” She nodded.
Powder offered up a weak smile.
Claggor and Vander watched her baby sister intensely, like she might shatter if they looked away. Vi cleared her throat and raised her eyebrows at them once they had met her eyes.
“We all are.” Vander said.
Her smile reached her eyes, Vi could feel relief blossoming in her chest.
She glared at Mylo once Powder had gone back to picking at her food, willing him not to object. He just huffed lightly and resumed shovelling down his own food.
Vi found herself reminiscing about the times when their family dinners weren’t riddled by tension. Where conversation flowed and laughter bubbled. Now, they walked on eggshells, unsure of how to cope with Powder.
Vi had learnt that depression didn’t hit like a physical illness. It had crept up like waves, or maybe Powder had become too exhausted to keep hiding it. Either way, Vi cursed herself for not noticing it earlier. Unable to convince herself that she didn’t have the power to stop it if she had caught it before the real damage had ensued.
She watched as her little sister went to run her hands through her hair, a habit she had practiced for as long as Vi could remember. The hair fell away at her shoulders, slender fingers clutching at air.
The door to the bathroom had creaked open, punctuated by Powder’s gasps. Vi saw the scissors first and then the piles of blue hair strewn across the checkerboard tile. Her eyes roamed the bathroom before they landed on Powder, curled up in front of the sink.
She had wordlessly wiped her sister’s tears away before patting the edge of the bath. She cleaned up the jagged edges that cascaded down Powder’s neck, the silence in the room was louder than the blades slicing through the hair.
“All better.” She had said, gently running her fingers through the blunt strands as she fought back her own tears.
She now watched as Powder’s fingers drifted to her nails, picking at the already scabbed skin. Her knife and fork were abandoned next to her plate.
Vander pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, a lack of sleep suddenly becoming evident across his face. Vi would be lying if she didn’t admit to spending much of her own nights listening for the rise and fall of Powder’s chest from the bunk above her.
“I can trust you to sort out the dishes amongst yourselves?” Vander addressed the table as he rose from his seat in their cramped kitchen and dining room hybrid. His head nearly scraped the low hanging light over the table.
Vi nodded.
“Thank you. Night, kiddos.” He ruffled Powder’s hair, causing her to grumble in response before his footsteps retreated across the laminate flooring.
They grunted their goodnights between mouthfuls of food.
There was some kind of a general understanding between them that things had shifted. Mylo didn’t crack a joke, Claggor didn’t steal Powder’s food and the warm downcast lighting over the table felt cold.
A deep sense of dread had nestled itself in Vi’s chest, impounding on her lungs, that Powder would reach a breaking point.
She felt some relief whenever Ekko would come over, but he would leave the house with hollow eyes and a cloud over his head and the dread would return all over again.
“How is she?” Vi had asked him from the couch one Saturday. Mylo and Claggor had immediately paused their game to listen.
Ekko’s shoulders slumped and his voice was strained. “She’s okay. Better on the weekends, you know?”
Vi knew very well. She just silently nodded.
It had been an uphill battle to keep Powder in school. Mornings were overflowing with tears and begrudging glares, the school day was filled with PA system announcements requesting Vi to the office to comfort her little sister, the nights were simply a slammed door and Vi studying at the kitchen table until Powder fell asleep and she could return to their shared room.
College acceptance letters were fast approaching. It wasn’t as if Vi getting into Piltover University would take that spot away from Caitlyn, but sometimes it felt like that. A rivalry that had lasted Caitlyn’s education was coming to an end, it would almost feel wrong to not have a winner.
“Mel!” Caitlyn palmed her face at the sight of her friend leering at Vi across the hallway.
“What?” Mel replied innocently. “It’s not like you’ll do anything about it. Too shy.” She nudged Caitlyn.
In truth, Vi brought an attitude out in Caitlyn that no one else could. Call it fury, call it a release, Caitlyn couldn’t be sure. But she looked forward to their little quips more than she would like to admit, her witty demeanour falling into place less and less like a mask and more and more like herself.
“I’m not that bad.” Caitlyn replied, feeling her face flushing red.
“Oh, you so are.”
Caitlyn didn’t bother arguing, it was a lost cause. She had made her bed and she would lie in it. That is being a gangly, socially awkward teenager with an affinity for academic validation.
The PA system echoed its familiar chime through the hallways, followed by a crackly voice. “Violet Lanes to the office. Violet Lanes to the office, thank you.”
Vi had never been a stranger to the office, everyone knew that. But Caitlyn couldn’t help but notice an increase in the frequency of visits over the last couple of months. Couldn’t help but notice that the twinkle in Vi’s eyes that she had grown to know came back to class dulled.
“Serves her right.” Mel smirked.
“Yeah.” Caitlyn muttered, peering over her shoulder as the flash of pink hair in the crowd was aggressively covered by a hood as people started to look over.
Caitlyn and Mel were now splayed out on her bedroom floor, school books framing them. Mel used her school bag as a pillow as she idly scribbled in the margins of her notebook. Mel was smart. Very smart. However, she wasn’t particularly motivated. You would never guess by her grades though.
Ambessa had always said at their family dinners that her daughter had the gift of the gab and Caitlyn believed it. Mel could turn a suffering grade into a great one with one charming conversation. Caitlyn couldn’t afford such confidence.
Her pen moved in a flurry as she took down notes, like the world might end if she didn’t get her current thoughts down onto paper.
A familiar knock sounded at the door, one that had echoed through Caitlyn’s childhood, the needle drop behind some of her favourite memories.
“It’s open!” Caitlyn yelled, the smile that tugged her cheeks up was evident in her voice.
Jayce poked his head around the door, his height making it look rather abnormal. He grinned. “Hey sprout.”
Mel jolted up, straightening her back and flicking her hair over her shoulder. She looked down at the array of flowers that had been scribbled over her page and quickly flipped it to one covered in maths notes, clearing her throat as she did.
He nodded loosely at her, eliciting a shy smile.
Caitlyn tilted her head at her and frowned but just as she opened her mouth to question her, Jayce snatched her notebook from in front of her. She just groaned. “Give it back.”
He let out a low whistle as she flicked through the pages. “With these notes, I think PU should be applying to enroll you.”
“Only following in your footsteps.” Caitlyn pressed her lips into a thin line.
“I was never this crazy.” Jayce breathed out before dropping her book back to her.
“You’re down for the weekend?” Caitlyn asked, ignoring his comment.
“Sure am.” Jayce grinned.
Jayce. The sole reason Caitlyn wanted to get into Piltover University in the first place. He was 2 years older than her and a genius by his own appraisal. He had grown up in the house next door and somewhere along the way his room had been transformed into a Piltover University shrine.
He had held up the white and gold flag for a 12 year old Caitlyn to observe.
“Nice, right?”
She simply nodded.
He sighed at the lack of enthusiasm. “One day you’ll get it.”
She had clearly come around to it. Maybe even more passionately.
“I don’t understand why you even bother coming back just for a weekend. What’s here that isn’t up there?”
“My family?” Jayce gawked at her. “You’re saying you wouldn’t come back to visit me?” He clutched at the shirt above his heart.
Mel giggled a little too loudly.
Caitlyn stared at her from the corner of her eye before looking back at Jayce. “Let’s just say you’re lucky you’ll be there with me.”
She was unable to fathom why somebody would willingly return to this town after finding their way out. Maybe its unkindness had turned her bitter but Caitlyn was keen to get away.
Sophomore year. Social studies. Perhaps ironically—according to Caitlyn’s classmates—it was her favourite subject.
Her knees knocked as she stood up, a white knuckled grip on her cue cards. Yet another growth spurt had left her with inches of extra height that she didn’t know what to do with. To make matters worse, their presentation topics had been assigned and Caitlyn had landed the poor living conditions in Zaun.
It’s not that she wasn’t passionate about it. She had devoted so much time and effort to the presentation. It was that she knew how it would be received by her classmates and she was now bracing for impact.
She turned to face the class and swallowed. The light of the projector flickered on like a spotlight, she squinted as her eyes protested the beams.
“You mind, lanky? You’re warping the picture.” Deckard chirped up from the back of the class, making an ushering movement with his hand.
Caitlyn could almost immediately feel the bile swimming up her throat, accompanied by her cheeks growing hot. She shuffled out of the way and a cue card slipped out of her hand in the process, fluttering to the ground much like her dwindling confidence. She stooped down to pick it up, exhaling deeply when her face was out of view.
“Deckard.” The teacher warned, but it was already too late.
“Fuck does the princess know about that?” He snickered, pointing to the opening slide of her presentation.
Just as something in her threatened to truly crack, a resounding thud cracked like a whip and left silence in its wake.
Caitlyn gave up on her diversion of eye contact to identify the sound, only to see Deckard clutching his stomach and Vi’s elbow leaving the scene of the crime.
His gasp for air broke the silence and then the entire classroom erupted into pandemonium.
The teacher shot up from her desk. “Violet Lanes!” Her voice was shrill and barely sliced through the chaos.
Caitlyn’s eyes flicked to Vi to find her grey ones already had her pinned. She gave her a singular nod before getting up and taking herself to the office.
Nobody was focused on Caitlyn’s presentation after that and it was the smoothest one to date. The chatter in the class didn’t bother her, she knew that the whispers didn’t contain her name.
Only the name of the girl who Caitlyn would’ve picked to be the first person to hit her while she was down.
That night Caitlyn got onto the family computer and researched Piltover University’s law school for hours, her eyes wide in the glow of the screen, her heart set on her newfound future. The way she saw it, this was her ticket out.
They never spoke about that day again.
Chapter 2: The Same Coin
Summary:
Caitlyn's ballet recital and the letters they've been waiting years for.
Chapter Text
Powder bounced along ahead of her family, chatting excitedly to a ginger girl next to her.
Vi could see Mylo trying to suppress his smile at seeing his sister act more like herself. There was no way that he was giving any indication to Vander that he felt anything but hatred at the prospect of being at school when he didn’t need to be.
Vi showed her grin proudly to everyone but Powder. There was no way that she was giving any indication to Powder that she had registered her change of mood.
“Does someone want to explain why it smells like a deodorant factory here?” Claggor said under his breath once they had found their seats inside.
Mylo and Vi shared a glance and then burst out laughing.
“Are you seriously high at your sister’s ballet recital?” His voice was strained and frantic.
“Okay, it’s not her ballet recital and did you really think I’d get through it any other way?” Mylo answered, shrugging.
“So if she was dancing you wouldn’t show up high?” Claggor arched an eyebrow.
Mylo breathed in deeply through his nose, considering the question. “No, I still would.”
Vi snorted.
Claggor nodded at Vi. “I expect this shit from him,” he gestured to Mylo, “but you?”
“Who am I to say no to a joint?” Vi pouted at him.
“To a what?” Vander chirped up behind her.
Vi’s eyes grew wide and she quickly recovered before turning around to face her dad. “Uhh-”
The lights dimmed, sending scattered applause across the room.
“Shh, it’s starting.” She grinned like a Cheshire cat much to Vander’s dismay.
“Go Powder!” Mylo yelled out once the room had fallen into silence, the second syllable of her name was strangled as Claggor clapped a hand over his mouth.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He muttered through gritted teeth as the sound earned them a number of annoyed looks.
Caitlyn observed as Powder smiled sheepishly at the sound of her name being yelled out, holding onto a rope that rolled back the curtains.
She let a small smile pull up the corner of her own mouth, the sight endearing.
She peeked through a small gap between scaffolding and curtains out to the crowd. She knew it was a lost cause and she still scanned the crowd anyway, silently praying that her parents went out on a limb and surprised her with their attendance.
Instead her eyes landed on the Lanes. The entire family. She had become no stranger to what they looked like over the years. Every performance, every game, every awards presentation. They were all there.
Vi jostled the boy next to her before pulling his hoodie down over his eyes with force. He acted out being suffocated, body slowly going limp while Vi laughed, a triumphant look creasing the skin between her eyebrows.
A small laugh escaped Caitlyn’s throat, replacing the lump that was left by the absence of her parents.
“Oh, God.”
Powder’s voice startled Caitlyn. She was peering through another gap a few feet away
“It’s their mission in life to embarrass me.”
Caitlyn just hummed, unsure of how to navigate a conversation with Powder. They had orbited around each other on many occasions like this one, but Caitlyn was certain that someone like Powder would have her reservations about her and she had no interest in digging them up.
“Where are the Kirammans sitting, princess?” Powder glanced over at her.
“Oh, they aren’t here.” Caitlyn looked once more out at the crowd and then at Powder. “Busy.”
“Hm.” Powder nodded. “Consider yourself lucky.”
Caitlyn considered the statement for a few beats. “Do you think so?”
Powder studied her family again. “Yep. They’re high.”
Caitlyn frowned. “What?”
Powder scoffed. “They showed up to my recital high. I’m sure Mr and Mrs Kiramman wouldn’t dare. See? Lucky.”
Caitlyn smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes and the words she wanted to speak didn’t reach her lips.
At least they showed up.
“Girls!” Caitlyn’s ballet teacher half whispered and half yelled.
Powder and her immediately got back into position.
The curtains rolled back with a gentle squeak as Powder tugged on the rope and gentle piano began to flow across the stage.
Caitlyn steadied herself, straightening her back and neck.
She knew that her body didn’t have much more in it when it came to ballet. She had gone too hard, too fast and she wasn’t naive enough to ignore the toll it was taking on her. When she had a few successive growth spurts it was almost as if she had gone back to square one.
She had worked twice as hard to compensate for the lack of coordination her new height had given her. Countless mornings on the bar before the sun had even come up, practising until her blood began to soak through her toe protectors, never providing her feet with the chance to heal.
And in her heart of hearts she knew it was all just a futile attempt to add one more thing to her college application. Something that had been sprung on her by her parents as a safety net if—God forbid—her grades slipped.
She could see it now as she danced. Accomplished ballet experience. Determined. Dedicated. Disciplined. She wondered what her mother would think if she was really truthful on her application. Lack of passion.
Vi would rather die than admit to Caitlyn how beautiful she was to watch dance. The precision and fluidity of her movements had sobered Vi up immediately, sitting ramrod straight in her seat.
Her costume was ornate, a light shade of lavender accompanied by a feathered headpiece that framed the angularity of her face.
It was her opportunity to watch her unashamedly, without anyone taking notice of it, and she was absorbing every moment of it.
Her eyes raked over Caitlyn’s long limbs, unblinking and transfixed. Her features were sharp under the spotlight but Vi’s expression faltered when she noticed Caitlyn’s eyes.
She was no stranger to the expression that crossed Caitlyn’s face when she was dedicated to something, her eyes always betrayed her, revealing exactly how she felt.
Now, they were absent of the passion that her body danced with. Vi had seen more enthusiasm from Caitlyn working out a maths problem.
Caitlyn lifted her chin as she stilled to a stop in the centre of the stage, her chest heaving with effort, temples pricking with sweat.
She bowed after a few beats, her tutu sweeping the ground as her headpiece twinkled under the lights. The room erupted into applause and as Caitlyn flicked her head back up to return to a stand, her eyes only found Vi’s.
The moment was gone as quickly as it had begun, Caitlyn couldn’t be sure who had broken eye contact first under the glare of the stage lights. But it happened. And now Caitlyn felt as if her entire facade had been broken down.
After an awkward series of hugs and goodbyes with her fellow dancers, Caitlyn sat silently and alone on the floor backstage. She untied her ballet slippers, wincing as she peeled various protective layers off of her feet and slipped some flats on.
She stood up and bounced gently from foot to foot, staring at them as she assessed how much pain she was in. She gasped as a blister caught the stitching of her flat and as her body immediately sought to take the pressure off of it, she wobbled and lost balance, hands flinging out to save herself.
They landed on something solid and warm.
“You good?” Vi asked as her arm slinged around Caitlyn’s waist to steady her.
“Mhm.” Caitlyn squeaked out, very unconvincingly.
Vi just chuckled. “Here.”
She stretched out a free hand to a nearby equipment crate, splaying her fingers across it as she dragged it over. She held onto Caitlyn as she lowered herself onto it, keeping her foot suspended in midair.
“What are you doing back here?” Caitlyn asked.
“You’re welcome.” Vi looked at her pointedly as her hand slinked away from Caitlyn’s waist. “Trying to find Powder, she has a habit of getting sidetracked.”
“Right.” Caitlyn answered, looking over at her bag that was left on the floor.
Vi followed her gaze and picked up the bag, bringing it over to Caitlyn.
“Thank you.” Caitlyn began fishing around in it, searching for bandages.
“No problem.” Vi said, watching her. “You were really great out there.” She pointed with her chin in the direction of the stage.
“Thanks.” Caitlyn muttered, her fingers fumbling to rip open a bandage under Vi’s gaze.
“Couldn’t help but notice you weren’t really in it though.”
Caitlyn paused and frowned, looking up at Vi. “Is that so?”
Vi shrugged. “Just calling it how I see it.”
Caitlyn scoffed. “There’s nothing to see.”
“You’re discrediting me?” Vi gasped in mock offense. “Wow, princess. How many years is it that I’ve known you?”
Caitlyn counted on her fingers. “Too many.” She deadpanned.
“Fourteen.” Vi said.
Caitlyn had never really thought about the exact number. You could never forget a four year old Vi causing an absolute ruckus in their preschool classroom though. “I suppose you’re right.”
“I know I’m right. So fourteen years and you think I can’t tell when you’re invested in something?”
“Careful, Lanes. People might think you like me or something.” Caitlyn grinned at her own joke and waited a beat for Vi to laugh, brush it off.
Vi just scratched the back of her neck and looked at her shoes. Caitlyn’s grin disappeared from her face.
She finished bandaging her blister and stood up carefully. Vi looked like she was prepared to jump into action at any moment.
Caitlyn sighed. “If you must know, ballet was never my choice, just something extra that my parents wanted me to take up for my college application.”
“And you became that good at it?” Vi raised her eyebrows.
“Sorry, was that a second compliment?” Caitlyn shook her head in disbelief as she slung her bag over her shoulder and began walking. “Didn’t think you had it in you.”
Vi shoved her hands in her pockets and grumbled before following Caitlyn. “Yeah, yeah. So have they planned out the rest of your life as well?”
Caitlyn huffed in mock amusement. “You think you’re so free because you occasionally rebel by being a nuisance in class and getting high.” She sniffed in Vi’s direction and wrinkled her nose up.
Vi looked down at herself and then back at Caitlyn. “Wow. At least I can decide what I have for breakfast.”
Caitlyn stopped in her tracks and whipped her head around, clenching her fists at her side.
Vi smirked. “Too far?”
Caitlyn rolled her eyes and continued walking. Vi followed. “What are you doing?”
“Walking?”
“I thought you said you were finding Powder.”
Vi stopped. “Shit. Powder.”
It was Caitlyn’s turn to smirk now. “A bit distracted, are we?”
“Don’t let it go to your head.” Vi said as she began to retrace her footsteps. “Are you hoping for eggs or pancakes tomorrow morning?” Vi sang out as she walked further away.
Caitlyn held up her middle finger without turning her head around or stopping her stride.
“You’re right. Both, obviously.”
Caitlyn’s mouth curved into a small smile as she swung open the exit door.
Her body melted into the seat of the car, pliable with exhaustion, her feet still aching. She squinted out the window, through the beams of light from the street lamps over the car park.
Vi pushed the door open that Caitlyn had just left and held it for Powder who took no notice, waving her arms around and chattering excitedly. Vi just beamed at her, silently nodding along.
Against her will, Caitlyn found herself twisting in her seat to watch the sight as the car pulled away, until Vi’s face was no longer able to be made out.
“Well, I’m glad you had a good time.” Vi said as her shoes kicked up some gravel in the car park.
“I’m glad you did too.” Powder grinned, it looked particularly maniacal under the harsh lighting.
“What’s that look for?” Vi frowned at her.
“Making the moves on Kiramman, huh?” Powder teased.
“Oh.” Vi chuckled awkwardly. She was unable to conceal the plains of her cheeks glowing pink under the lights so she turned away, pretending to be fixated on a random car. “Nah. I’m just stringing her along.”
Powder snickered.
“What?” Vi turned to face her.
“That only works if the person is actually interested in you. Otherwise it’s not stringing along. It’s just pining and it’s embarrassing.” Powder sneered.
“Okay. Ouch.”
“Truth hurts.”
“The truth is you don’t know Kiramman like I do. She totally digs it.”
“You wrote that down in your journal? Next to your hyphenated last name?” Powder smirked.
“Bitch.” Vi mumbled as they reached Vander’s car.
“Great job kiddo.” Vander tousled Powder’s hair as she swatted him away and slipped into the backseat, Vi following.
“I don’t get it. You’re Caitlyn and Vi. You’ve hated each other since the dawn of time.” Powder said in disbelief.
Vander peered at Vi in the rearview mirror.
“We’re going to the same university. We should at least be civil.” Vi shrugged. She couldn’t even convince herself of her justification for talking to Caitlyn.
“Piltover Uni is massive. She’s going to be posted up in the law school while you’re knee deep in grease, there won’t exactly be many chances to cross paths.”
Vi scoffed. “You make mechanical engineering sound like child’s play. Also how do you know she’s studying law?”
“You talk about her more often than you think.” Mylo offered up from his window seat.
Vi glared at him. “Whatever.”
“Flirting with someone who hates you as an attempt at civility makes no sense to me but go right ahead, sis. After the next few months, you’ll never speak again.” Powder smiled sweetly.
Vi spent the remainder of the car ride replaying the times that she had mentioned Caitlyn to her family, what she had shared, the cadence of her voice. Was it even ranting anymore? Or was it gushing disguised as ranting?
She also couldn’t understand why the idea of never speaking to Caitlyn again made bile rise to the back of her throat.
She frowned at herself in the mirror while she brushed her teeth. Surely it was just a matter of familiarity. She hadn’t known life without Caitlyn’s posh voice lilting judgement at any given chance. She could admit that Caitlyn was pretty but the attraction stopped there.
She nodded at herself triumphantly before spitting out her toothpaste and rinsing her mouth.
Powder laid in her bunk staring blankly at their dark room. Her various trinkets that Vi had once been so irritated by had now gathered dust, sitting untouched on their shelves.
Their room was small, made even smaller by the chaos that ensued within. Furniture consisted of a set of bunk beds shoved into a corner, a desk opposite them that served both purposes of studying and tinkering, a small bedside table and a shared wardrobe that consisted mostly of Powder’s clothes.
There wasn’t an inch of white wall visible under posters and artwork and stuffed shelves that had accumulated over the years.
“Pow.” Vi whispered.
No answer.
“Pow.” Vi said louder.
Powder’s eyes flicked to hers. “Hm?”
“Goodnight.” She smiled.
“Night.” Powder mumbled before rolling over and facing the wall.
Vi only sighed as she climbed into her bunk, when the creaking of the ladder would safely muffle the noise.
Just like that her dazzling baby sister was gone again.
Her eyes traced the barely distinguishable shapes of the band posters stuck to the ceiling of their room in the dark until she drifted into sleep, comforted by the barely audible clicking of video game controllers coming from her brother’s room.
Tobias and Cassandra delicately sipped at their cups of tea, watching their daughter stare at her computer intensely.
They were sitting in the large sunroom of the Kiramman mansion, awaiting an email from Piltover University.
The email.
The spring sun was illuminating the room that looked out over their blooming garden. Privately, Caitlyn loved watching it come back to life every year, spending her time studying in that room, glancing over the top of her books at whatever flower had decided to make itself known. A perfect encapsulation of the seasons.
“Remember, if you don’t get in, we will not hesitate to provide the school with extra funding to ensure they make the right decision come last minute acceptances.” Her mother smiled at her.
Tobias squeezed her hand and nodded in agreement.
Caitlyn pressed her lips into a thin line and forced a smile. She didn’t know why she had half expected some reassurance that they would still be proud of her if she didn’t get in. That wasn’t her parents.
Vi’s eyes were glued to the screen of her secondhand laptop that was more duct tape than metal. Vander had a strong hand on her shoulder while Powder sat next to her and fidgeted. Claggor had Mylo in a headlock behind them. They were all squeezed around her in the kitchen.
Vander cleared his throat.
“Here we go.” Mylo wheezed out.
Vander paid him no mind. “I know you already know this but whatever happens today, I want to remind you that we are all so proud of you. And if things go sideways—which they won’t—but if things go sideways we’ll pick up the pieces and sort something out. Together.”
“Gag me with a spoon.” Mylo muttered, making Vi smile.
“Thanks Dad.” She said, patting the hand that still rested on her shoulder.
Her computer chimed, making Powder gasp and Claggor release Mylo from his headlock. They all inched in as Vi’s shaky cursor made its way to the email notification.
She sucked in a breath.
“Okay.”
She clicked on the email.
Her eyes followed the lines of writing at the same time as Claggor started reading them out loud.
“Dear Violet, on behalf of the office of undergraduate admissions, we are delighted to inform you of your acceptance into Piltover University.” His voice grew progressively louder and more excited as he read it out.
Mylo began jumping up and down while whooping. Powder was shaking Vi’s free shoulder and squealing.
“I knew it. That’s my girl.” Vander said, his voice swelling with pride.
“We’re gonna be rich!” Mylo shouted.
“ I’m gonna be rich.” Vi laughed.
She couldn’t recall a time where her smile had been bigger.
That tiny kitchen suffered an overflow of love that day, consuming the space until it glowed.
“I got in!” Caitlyn said joyously as she jumped up from her chair, her smile bright. She held her face in her hands in disbelief as she stared at the computer.
Her voice echoed through the silent room and she looked up to see both of her parents still seated, cups and saucers in hand.
Her smile dropped and she returned her arms to her sides, suddenly embarrassed.
“What a relief.” Cassandra said.
“I certainly wasn’t keen on giving anything else to that institution.” Her father agreed.
Notes:
sorry for the wait! i've been so busy and also very nit picky with how i want this story to play out and feel. i'll try to pick up the pace in future.
hope you enjoyed! as always i love a good comment
Chapter 3: Painfully Cliché
Summary:
You thought I could write a high school AU without including all of my favourite tidbits from my favourite movies?
Chapter Text
The cafeteria. Painfully cliché. The geeks. The stoners. The class clowns. You name it.
All united under the veil of cafeteria food that landed on trays with an incredibly unappealing thud.
Vi ran her fingers quickly through the blue flame emitting from her metal lighter as Mylo droned on about how he had landed himself after school detention.
“I tried to explain that I was just running my own experiment. Testing if the iodine actually stained skin.” Mylo said in between mouthfuls of food.
“You have a yellow dick on your face.” Claggor replied.
“My hypothesis is correct.” Mylo grinned.
“Weird, man.” Ekko said.
Vi flicked her lighter shut and sneered at the table staring across the cafeteria at Powder. The sound garnered the attention of Claggor, Mylo and Ekko who all turned to where Vi was looking and did the same.
They stopped their whispering and pointing.
Powder glanced over her shoulder at them before pulling her hood further around her face and resuming picking at her food.
The art nerds.
“Hey. Just ignore them.” Vi smiled bleakly at Powder.
A few months ago Powder would have been sitting at the head of the table rattling off information about whatever project she was now pursuing without finishing the last.
As it turned out kids her age had little to no understanding of how to handle someone with depression.
Powder didn’t respond but the buzz of the cafeteria enveloped them again, it was the first day back at school since the majority of school acceptances had been sent out.
Vi could make out various school names being exchanged amongst seniors through the lively buzz of the cafeteria.
“Look at Deckard.” Mylo snorted.
“I heard he couldn’t even get waitlisted for community college.” Ekko offered up, making Mylo laugh harder.
Sure enough, he was slumped in his chair as his gang of delinquents picked at the food on his tray like vultures, a scowl carving out lines on his face.
Caitlyn had been trying to catch Vi’s eye for the past 10 minutes of break. Zoning in and out of conversation with Mel to stare at her, willing the icy grey to meet her cerulean blue.
She was attempting to read her demeanour, looking for signs that Vi had gotten in. She tracked the slouch of her shoulders, the nod of her head, the tapping of her foot.
There was a subtle lapse in the tap of her foot. It was controlled and calm, opposed to its typical frantic nature.
She had gotten in.
She looked up and mirrored Vi’s gaze. Deckard.
“We haven’t even graduated and he’s already a washed up loser.” Mel sighed.
Caitlyn hummed in agreement.
As both Caitlyn’s and Vi’s eyes retreated from Deckard, they collided. It was nothing dramatic, just something familiar. What caught them both off guard was the way that their eyes lingered.
Vi arched one eyebrow and tilted her head, giving Caitlyn the sudden urge to shrink into herself, maybe cozy up in her shoe away from the intensity of Vi’s gaze.
Externally, she was at ease.
Vi mouthed something that Caitlyn couldn’t quite distinguish.
She frowned and shook her head.
Vi rolled her eyes.
Caitlyn gave her a look. One that told her to clean up her act. Quickly.
“Okay, okay.” Vi mouthed.
She pointed at Caitlyn. “You.”
“Me?” Caitlyn mouthed back.
Vi nodded.
“In?” Vi mouthed, dramatising the pronunciation of the word. She searched Caitlyn’s face to see if her message had gotten across.
Caitlyn knew exactly what Vi was asking.
“Huh?” She still shrugged.
Vi tapped her fist on the table in thought. She held up her hands and began to contort her fingers into what was supposed to be a P and U.
Caitlyn shrugged again and took a sip of water.
“Oh, for fuck sake. DID YOU GET IN?” Vi yelled across the cafeteria.
Caitlyn’s water sprayed over the table, much to Mel’s disgust.
The cafeteria fell silent for a few beats, everyone identifying where the noise had come from. Once it had been established that it was Vi the hum of conversation easily returned.
“Yes.” Caitlyn mouthed, in between giggles.
Vi smiled at her. An earnest smile. There was no surprise or shock. Just confirmation of what they already knew.
It hadn’t felt like Vi had imagined it to feel over the years. Like there would be some animosity between them, like Vi would have the urge to hold her scholarship over Caitlyn’s head.
Caitlyn smiled back before returning to her conversation with Mel.
“Gag me with a spoon.” Powder said, having watched the interaction play out.
“For someone who doesn’t contribute much, you sure know how to pick ‘em.” Vi glared.
“Am I not allowed to express shock over the apparent stalemate that has fallen over a years-long rivalry?”
“That’s what you call that? Shock?” Vi quipped.
“Whatever.” Powder slumped further into her chair.
“What is going on with you two?” Ekko cocked his head in Caitlyn’s direction and then stared pointedly at Vi.
Vi huffed and ran her hands through her hair. “I guess it’s like- well, for me- I mean it’s over, isn’t it?”
“What is?” He asked.
“This rivalry.” Vi gestured to Powder as she used her words. “We both got what we wanted so…” Her words trailed away, landing on shaky ground.
“So you’re all buddy buddy now?” Ekko grinned.
“Okay, I smiled at her. In acknowledgement of said rivalry ending.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Mylo contributed.
Vi frowned. “How so?”
“Valedictorian.” He drawled, a smug expression on his face.
Vi’s face hardened with realization. “Oh, it’s still in the bag.”
“That’s an interesting development.” Mel said.
“Hm?” Caitlyn said, returning to her water.
“Don’t play dumb with me.” She narrowed her eyes.
“There’s no development. I just lured her into making a fool of herself in front of everyone.” Caitlyn gestured to the bustling cafeteria.
“Vi doesn’t need you to do that. And you smiled at her.” Mel frowned in disbelief.
“We both just got into the university we’ve been angling for, for years. God forbid.” Caitlyn rolled her eyes.
“ We. ” Mel nodded. “Yep. This is weird.”
Caitlyn stifled a laugh. “Not to worry, darling. I’ll make sure to be extra hateful from now on.” Her voice was dripping in sarcasm.
The bell rang, earning a collective groan from the students in the cafeteria.
“Thank you.” Mel said.
“I would be more worried about a development in your own life.” Caitlyn mumbled as she stood up, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
She waited for Mel to take the bait.
“What?”
Caitlyn smirked, picking up her tray and walking away.
Mel stumbled to catch up to her, still managing to make it look graceful. “What are you talking about?” She nagged Caitlyn.
Caitlyn slid her food into the bin and placed her tray on top of it, turning to look at Mel in the process. “A certain Jayce Talis?”
Mel’s face dropped, a gaunt look in her eyes.
“Relax.” Caitlyn lulled. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
“You’re not mad?” Mel tilted her head.
“You’re deluded but harmless.” Caitlyn smiled sweetly.
“Hey!” Mel snapped.
Caitlyn held back her laughter.
It was egregious that Caitlyn’s hair smelled as good as it looked.
Monday afternoons in Salo’s class were brutal as it was and now Vi took notice of the hints of lavender that were laced through them.
She closed her eyes as the rest of the class filed in, privately relishing in the smell.
She wondered about how extensive Caitlyn’s hair routine was or whether the scent of lavender just oozed out of her skin, because it wouldn’t surprise Vi. The girl had the prestige of a walking, talking high end fragrance store.
“Lanes?”
Shit .
Vi’s eyes reluctantly opened to find the deep blue of Caitlyn’s hair had been replaced by the blue of her eyes.
“Princess.” The word came out at an unnaturally high pitch. Vi cleared her throat, hoping it would also clear the flush of pink that had taken over her face. “Princess.” Vi repeated, voice steady.
Caitlyn raised an eyebrow but didn’t prod. “Has the expense of energy you put into your academic prowess tired you out?”
Vi feigned a yawn. “Something like that.”
“Well, I just wanted to congratulate you.” Caitlyn said.
“On?” Vi folded her arms.
“Don’t make me say it.”
Vi sucked her teeth. “You gotta say it.”
“Getting into Piltover.” She said begrudgingly.
“Rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?”
“Shut up.”
“I want to congratulate you as well.” Vi treaded over the words lightly.
“Is that so?”
“Of course. Who else could crush my ego the way you do? We have to keep going to school together.”
Caitlyn gnawed on the inside of her cheek to suppress her smile. She had slipped up in giving Vi one already that day.
“You do know we’ll barely cross paths, right?” She asked Vi.
“Well aware. But you do know your attitude transcends space and time, right?” Vi mimicked her tone.
“Flattery will get you nowhere.” Caitlyn said, amused.
“See. Where will I find that at Piltover?”
“Alright,” Salo cleared his throat. “I understand there’s some buzz around colleges but I need to remind you that your acceptance means nothing if you don’t finish out the year.” His eyes narrowed in on a few students who weren’t exactly reputable regarding attendance, earning a chuckle from the class.
“Vi! Dinner!” Mylo called out from the front door. He retreated back inside, allowing the door to slam shut behind him.
“Fuck.” Vi lifted her head as the noise startled her and her forehead made contact with cold metal. “Coming!” She yelled out, frustration evident in her voice.
She clambered out from underneath the car and took a moment to step back and admire her work, rubbing her forehead with a few dirty fingers.
A ‘69 Ford Bronco. Or the shell of one. Her 18th birthday present. It was simultaneously a rusted pile of junk and Vi’s proudest accomplishment.
She wiped her hands with the rag tucked into the pocket of her jeans before slinging it over one of the side mirrors and heading inside.
She was stopped dead in her tracks by an ear piercing scrape of metal and turned around to see the side mirror slowly tilting. She tilted her head with it and sighed as it dropped off of the side of the car, hanging on by a few wires.
“It’s fine. It’s not like I don’t already have enough to fix.” She muttered under her breath before pulling the door open.
“How is the shitbox?” Mylo asked Vi at the table.
She shovelled a forkful of corn into her mouth before sneering. “It’s great. Thanks.”
“Well, with that confidence I might up my bet on you making it down the driveway.”
Vi dropped her fork with a clatter. “I’m gonna kill you.” She stated flatly.
Vander sighed loudly. “Vi, can we just-”
But Vi was already behind Mylo’s chair with her hands creeping around his neck.
“Vi!” Vander yelled.
Claggor was up shortly after, prying Vi’s hands off of Mylo.
“Sit.” Vander said.
Powder just watched everything with an amused glint in her eyes.
They could make fun all that they wanted to because Vi had been fantasising about the restored car before she even had it. Driving to and from uni to visit for the weekends, taking her siblings around town, travelling over break with a bed set up in the back.
The visions played in her mind over and over again to stop her from getting back up from her seat.
Between the car and valedictorian, Vi was booked and busy until the summer.
It will all be worth it.
“Are you sure you don’t need new pointe shoes?” Cassandra said from one head of the table.
“Yes. I’m sure.” Caitlyn’s voice was clipped, her mother’s eyebrow twitched in response.
Despite being obviously disgruntled, Cassandra laughed lightly. “But with the rate at which you practice, you are typically in need of a new pair by now. No?” The last question was directed at Caitlyn’s father, who was observing his glass.
Her tone snapped him out of his trance. “Uh, yes. You usually drive them into the ground, honey.”
Caitlyn’s grip tightened around her fork. How she wished their once in a blue moon family dinners could be excluded from her parents typical grilling questions.
“Maybe I haven’t because I haven’t been practicing.”
If anyone had walked in on the dinner at that moment, they would’ve assumed Caitlyn had just revealed a narcotics addiction to her parents.
“What?” Cassandra’s voice boomed through the too large dining room.
Tobias’ shoulders tensed and his jaw clicked.
Caitlyn pushed a few peas around with her fork. “I don’t want to do it anymore.”
Her mother scoffed. “And you think you can decide this without consulting us?”
“What I do with my life? I hope so.”
“Don’t get all self righteous, young lady.” Her father warned.
“I’m not-”
“And stop playing with your food.” Her mother snapped.
Caitlyn dropped her fork.
Cassandra’s nostrils flared.
“I don’t enjoy it.” Caitlyn steered them back on topic.
“Regardless of enjoyment, it is necessary for your college application.” Cassandra said.
“I know you don’t give a shit-”
“Caitlyn!” Her mother shrieked.
“But I already got into college.”
“You’ve loved it since you were a little girl.” Her mother ignored her prior comment.
“No, you’ve loved it since I was a little girl.”
“But, you’re so wonderful at it.” Cassandra’s eyes pricked with tears.
“Love.” Tobias interjected.
“I’ve got the awards, the accolades, the acceptance letter.” Caitlyn squeezed her eyes shut. “Can I just rest now?”
She waited a few beats. The room was silent. She slowly opened her eyes to see her parents staring at each other, a silent conversation occurring before her.
Cassandra finally released a breath. “I don’t know what I’ll tell your teacher but fine. If you insist.” The words sounded strained, like it was requiring all of her mental effort to force them out.
Caitlyn blinked in shock. “Thank you.” She nodded.
She tried to sentimentally run her fingers over the trophies that she had accumulated over the years, but they only returned covered in dust that had been settled there since her passion for ballet had died.
Instead, she laid awake and envisioned the valedictorian sash being placed around her shoulders. She was excited at the prospect of extra time to devote to achieving it. It was so close that she could almost taste it.
One month later
Vi was valedictorian.
Her laptop had begun living on her bed in the past month, so that studying was always accessible. And to check her emails first thing every morning.
She had awoken to the email half asleep and groggy. She had shot up straight in bed and screamed, the bunk bed shaking as Powder jumped up out of fear.
“What? What?” She asked in a panicked voice.
“I got it!”
Powder didn’t even have to ask. “Oh, fuck you.” She mumbled before falling back asleep.
Vi couldn’t care less.
Detailed at the bottom of the email was a meeting with the principal that morning to begin discussing the presentation and speech at graduation.
So Vi had entered school with a spring in her step. Dream college. Highest GPA. Nothing could bring her mood down.
That was what she thought until she pushed the door open to the principal’s office only to see Caitlyn Kiramman sitting in front of the desk.
“What the actual fuck?”
Notes:
hope u enjoyed!
#ilovecomments
Chapter 4: Mixed Signals
Summary:
The co-valedictorian fallout as well as Vi's first visit to the Kiramman mansion
Notes:
i'm backkkk and definitely picking up the pace. i loved writing this one so much.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“What are you doing here?” Caitlyn rose from her chair and stared at Vi, impatiently awaiting an answer.
They both knew what was going on, even if it hadn’t been spoken.
“I have a meeting to discuss me being presented valedictorian,” Vi folded her arms and narrowed her eyes, “what are you doing here?”
When Caitlyn didn’t answer immediately and instead slumped back into her chair, the reality of the situation set in.
“Well fuck,” Vi sat in the chair next to Caitlyn, “joint valedictorian,” she said slowly. “Doesn’t have the same ring to it.”
“You’re telling me.” Caitlyn stared straight ahead, her jaw set.
Her demeanour had already pissed Vi off. “Alright, don’t get all high and mighty.”
Caitlyn pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment before letting her hand fall back to her lap in exasperation. “Your parents will give you a pat on the back. Mine might start a riot.”
“My dad.” Vi stated plainly.
“What?” Caitlyn said impatiently.
“My dad will give me a pat on the back.”
Caitlyn stared at Vi, considering her. She went through the mental gymnastics of deciding whether she should apologise or not. It’s not like it was a secret to her that Vi’s parents weren’t in the picture. She was just forgetful. Presumptuous.
Vi’s eyes met Caitlyn’s for only a few seconds. They weren’t sad like Caitlyn had expected. They were hard and cold.
She returned her eyes to the wall behind the empty desk they sat in front of.
Silence spanned between them.
Vi broke it first. “I’d be shitting bricks if I had your parents too.”
She hadn’t removed her eyes from Caitlyn who didn’t respond. She watched as a small but infectious smile teased Caitlyn’s lips.
Their eyes met for the second time and they both broke into gentle but steady laughter.
“I’m so screwed.” Caitlyn said, still laughing.
Hearing Caitlyn Kiramman talk so casually amused Vi even more. She privately relished in the sight of Caitlyn laughing. She was beautiful and animated in a way that Vi had only ever been able to steal glimpses of.
It wasn’t like their rivalry had put Vi in the position to say she was a catalyst for Caitlyn’s merriment. Anger, maybe. Irritation, definitely. But not this.
It was during times like these that Vi questioned why she had spent 14 years of her life trying to piss Caitlyn off when there was clearly much more joy in earning the flash of her gapped teeth in a smile.
Vi’s laughter dissipated until she was just grinning like an idiot at Caitlyn, completely unaware that she was.
Caitlyn stopped laughing. “What?”
“Hm?”
“Do I have something on my face?” Caitlyn’s hands hovered near her mouth.
“No?” Vi answered.
“Then why are you looking at me like that?”
Shit. Vi relaxed her face and cleared her throat, scratching the back of her neck. “Like what?”
Caitlyn held Vi’s gaze and arched an eyebrow in an annoyingly knowing way.
The door behind them clicked open and Heimerdinger walked in, his glasses perched on the tip of his nose as he assessed some papers in his hands intensely.
He sat in his chair without looking up once.
Caitlyn rose from her chair again, causing it to scrape loudly against the floor.
The sound startled Heimerdinger who looked up and jumped again at the sight of other people in his office. “Girls!”
“Professor.” Caitlyn nodded.
Vi looked at her and snorted. She did her own mocking salute to the short and stout man and grunted in acknowledgement of him.
Heimerdinger’s eyes were enlarged by his gold framed glasses and darted between Vi and Caitlyn, like he was as shocked as they were that the class stoner and the teacher’s pet had ended up in the same position of academic achievement.
“I do recall now that this meeting was scheduled to discuss your equal achievement.” He rambled. “Congratulations!” He suddenly shouted.
The jump in volume made Vi’s jaw tick.
“Thank you.” Caitlyn nodded.
His eyes returned to the papers in front of him.
Vi glanced at Caitlyn.
“Should we, uh, come back at a different time?” Vi asked, her annoyance growing.
“Vi.” Caitlyn whispered frantically in a warning.
“What? He’s a principal, not a doctor.” Vi whispered back.
“He’s just organising himself.”
“He was already late.”
“He didn’t even know we were going to be here.”
“Exactly!” Vi’s voice grew slightly louder. “I expected a bit more after working my ass off for 4 years.”
“You aren’t the only one.”
“We both know that you working your ass off for 4 years is different to me working my ass off for 4 years.”
“Can you stop saying ass?” Caitlyn asked in desperation.
“Ass.” Vi mocked her accent.
Heimerdinger cleared his throat.
They simultaneously realised that they had been growing closer to each other as their voices grew louder.
Caitlyn’s eyes widened as she backed away from Vi and returned to sitting upright. “Apologies, sir.”
“It’s quite alright, Miss Kiramman.” He said, before looking at Vi pointedly.
She shot him a look. I dare you.
He simply shifted in his seat and cleared his throat for a second time. “Right. Well, let’s cut to the chase. We are two weeks away from graduation. Do you know what that means?”
Vi recognised it as a question that Heimerdinger intended to answer himself but looked over to see the cogs turning in Caitlyn’s face and concealed a laugh.
Caitlyn opened her mouth to speak.
“It means that you will be getting up on that stage and delivering a speech together as respective co-valedictorians.” Heimerdinger intervened.
Vi released her laugh, it came out venomous opposed to the amused nature it was formed with. “We don’t even get our own speeches?”
Caitlyn nodded furiously in support of Vi.
“I’m afraid not, Miss Lanes. Time cuts and all. However, there is something endearing about presenting a united front, no?”
“No.” Vi didn’t miss a beat.
Heimerdinger’s eyes narrowed for a split second before he relaxed them, taking his glasses off and folding them neatly in front of him.
“Well, regardless of your thoughts, the bickering I just witnessed will be the last I will witness for the next two weeks, yes?”
“Yes.” Caitlyn chimed in.
“Or what?” Vi challenged, earning a glare from Caitlyn.
“The benefit of having two valedictorians is that I suppose you could consider one expendable, Miss Lanes.”
Vi scoffed. “So you’ll take it away? With all due respect, my bickering can’t erase my GPA.”
“You’re quite correct, it can’t. But that doesn’t mean I can’t erase the title of valedictorian.”
Vi sighed and stared at her shoes, defeated.
“We won’t let you down, sir.” Caitlyn smiled.
“Oh, goodie.” Vi mumbled.
“Wonderful.” Heimerdinger beamed. “I am looking forward to listening to your well thought out speech in two weeks time. We’re looking at a 3-4 minute long time slot.” He hopped up from his chair and held the door open to his office, waiting for them to exit.
Caitlyn may have been taller than Vi but they both towered over him as they walked out the door.
“Congratulations again, girls. See you at graduation.”
With that, the door closed with a soft click, leaving Vi and Caitlyn in the silent school hallway.
“I was thinking about my place tonight?” Caitlyn’s voice echoed.
“What?” Vi frowned.
“To start the speech.” Caitlyn folded her arms.
“Oh, we’re actually going through with this.”
Caitlyn scoffed. “Did you have another idea?”
“I thought you would step down out of kindness, you know?” Vi smiled.
“Charming.”
Vi sighed. “Fine. It’s about time I got a tour of the Kiramman mansion anyway.”
“Is that so?” Caitlyn drawled.
“Duh.”
“You might be out of luck.” Caitlyn sucked her teeth. “There won’t be enough time to cover the whole thing.”
Vi gawked at Caitlyn. “You spoiled brat.”
Caitlyn shrugged. “See you tonight. Wait at the gate and I’ll get someone to buzz you in.”
“Are you serious?” Vi asked but Caitlyn was already fleeing the scene.
Vi watched her go, the frown on her face unmoving.
“Co-valedictorians?” Powder asked, swirling a spoon around in her bowl of cereal that had been left almost entirely untouched.
Mylo had received yet another elbow to the gut after questioning her having a bowl of cereal closer to dinner than any other meal.
“That’s all that she’s eating.” Vi had said through gritted teeth.
“Yep.” Vi sighed.
“So there’s two of you?” Powder cocked her head.
“That is what it tends to mean, yeah.” Her voice was clipped, the wound still fresh.
“And you’re going to her house to write your shared speech?”
Vi clenched her fists away from Powder’s line of sight. They were sitting at opposite sides of the dining table. “Got it in one.”
“Sorry.” Powder giggled. The irritation in Vi’s voice must have been obvious. “I’m just trying to figure out what alternate universe I woke up in.”
“You and me both.”
“Can you take a shit and see if the butler offers to wipe your ass?” Mylo piped up from the kitchen.
“Is that the pressing question you need answered?” Vi craned her neck to peer at her brother.
“Seemed obvious to me.” He shrugged.
The ever elusive Kiramman mansion. Vi was no stranger to the outside, if anyone in their small town wanted to reach true civilization it had to be passed. It was a trek from Vi’s house that she would rather not make but Vander was working late and her Bronco had faced a few setbacks in the past month.
Between the side mirrors that wouldn’t stay on and parts becoming increasingly difficult to track down, she had found herself further pushing back the summer deadline until the deadline simply faded away and school became her priority.
So her shoes had earned themselves a few more scuffs during the walk to Caitlyn’s house, dribbling a small rock from foot to foot. It skittered over a crack in the pavement and slid across the concrete, out of Vi’s reach.
It was stopped abruptly by a shoe coming down on it and Vi stared at in confusion before looking up for the first time in a while to see Caitlyn standing there.
She pushed the thought of the breath that caught in her throat when she saw Caitlyn to the back of her mind and slipped into the same effortlessly cool facade she had been pulling for years.
“Thought you were gonna buzz me in. That desperate to see me, huh?” Vi shoved her hands in her pockets and dared to move a few steps closer to Caitlyn.
She refused to allow her eyes to make a play at the navy tank top Caitlyn was wearing, but her peripheral vision was well aware of its presence.
“I’m afraid not. I simply figured that if I wasn’t here to walk you in you would get lost in the grounds.”
“Wow, Kiramman.” Vi shook her head in disbelief.
Caitlyn smiled. “Let’s go.”
“Lead the way.”
Vi’s slouchy hoodie stuck out in stark contrast to Caitlyn’s exposed skin. It was that time of year where spring eased into summer and both a hoodie and a sleeveless shirt were acceptable attire.
The grounds were lush, dotted with lavish fountains and exquisitely maintained hedges and trees. The land was a large gated rectangle and wherever a Kiramman crest could fit, one could be found.
The walk to the door was silent. Vi trawled along behind Caitlyn and Caitlyn figured that Vi was just taking in her surroundings. In awe as their guests so often were.
Vi was in awe but not because of the mansion.
She should have been looking at the grounds that she had only seen from afar for her entire life. She was instead cursing herself for taking notice of the goosebumps that trailed along Caitlyn’s shoulders under the late afternoon sun.
Vi still hadn’t spoken a single word by the time they reached the door.
“You’re awfully quiet.” Caitlyn pointed out when her hand landed on the door handle. She awaited Vi’s quip in response. She would say something about how many fountains there were in the garden or the ridiculousness of having a family crest.
She finally grew impatient and turned around to see Vi’s eyes dart up from her collarbones and rush to meet Caitlyn’s in time.
“Hm?” Vi hummed, praying Caitlyn hadn’t taken any notice. “I was just wondering if Mr and Mrs Kiramman were home.”
“...Right.” Caitlyn said like she wasn’t entirely convinced. “Well, you’re in luck. They’re both working.”
It was easier to take Vi’s word than unpack whatever had just happened.
“I think you’re in luck actually.” Vi said.
“Is that right?” Caitlyn asked as she pulled one of the double doors open and held it for Vi. “Because they’d hound me for bringing a juvenile delinquent into their home?”
Vi fell back into silence as she walked inside. Caitlyn shut the door behind them with an echoing slam and wondered if she had taken things too far.
“Vi? I’m sorry, I-”
“This is what I’m talking about!” Vi clapped her hands together and shouted excitedly as she looked around the foyer of Caitlyn’s home.
Vaulted ceilings, encrusted columns, elaborate furniture and the cherry on top was the gigantic family portrait that took centre stage.
Vi darted around it all, peering at every trinket and sitting on every seat. “Shit, Kiramman. I think I’m used to it.” She said, with her feet kicked up on the coffee table.
“That fast?”
Vi nodded.
Against her parents wishes, Caitlyn didn’t ask Vi to put her feet down or not to touch the various sculptures that sat atop of furniture. She enjoyed the life that Vi brought back into the place. Too many silent tea parties had been suffered in such a beautiful room to continue to drain it of joy now.
She did almost reach her breaking point when Vi targeted a knight armour stand in front of a column. She watched as Vi meticulously moved the fingers into an O shape and jerked them up and down over the codpiece with a look of disgust on her face.
“You know I’m still standing here, right?” Caitlyn said.
Clearly not. The squeaking of the armour stopped abruptly as Vi jumped away from it, wiping her hands on her pants before dropping them to her side with a guilty smile on her face.
“Your room?” Vi asked, trying to divert Caitlyn’s attention.
Caitlyn nodded.
“Don’t you get creeped out by all these statues?” Vi asked as they walked up the stairs to Caitlyn’s room.
“I did when I was little.” Caitlyn shrugged. “I used to get my Dad to carry me to bed every night because I was convinced I had seen them moving.”
Vi felt her cheeks pull into a smile at the thought.
“Everything seems bigger and scarier when you’re small.” Caitlyn concluded as they walked into her room.
The shock value of the Kiramman mansion had worn off but Vi still took the time to absorb her surroundings. Caitlyn’s room was essentially in theme with the rest of the house, but littered with signs of life. A stack of books here, a crumpled up jumper there, a watering can sitting next to a potted plant.
“I don’t know why I shared that. Sorry.” Caitlyn fiddled with the strap of her top.
“Don’t be.” Vi dismissed her, turning around to face her in the centre of the grand bedroom.
Caitlyn’s eyes must’ve stupidly softened at Vi’s response.
“We’re writing that speech together whether we like it or not and I’m sure Heimerdinger wouldn’t mind some sappy stuff.” She clarified.
Caitlyn opened her mouth before closing it and nodding, swallowing a lump in her throat instead.
“It’s true though, what you said. My brothers' efforts to terrify me as a kid are testament to that.” Vi smiled fondly.
Caitlyn felt her shoulders sag slightly in relief. “Well, looks like the speech writing might go smoother than anticipated.”
It was wishful thinking.
“That just doesn’t have the same flow as this.” Caitlyn dragged the laptop closer to her. She was sitting cross legged next to a splayed out Vi on the bedroom floor. She hit delete a few times before her fingers moved across the keyboard in a flourish.
Vi leaned over slightly to see the changes made. “No. Absolutely not. Forget about flow, it grammatically makes no sense.”
“No one is reading it on paper but us.” Caitlyn matched Vi in her position, laying down on her stomach next to her.
“Yeah, and that break will mess me up.” Vi dragged the laptop towards her, reworking the sentence again.
“Now it’s lost all dramatic effect.” Caitlyn grumbled, tugging the laptop back.
“It’s a graduation speech, not Shakespeare.” The laptop travelled back.
“You’re writing it as if it’s an ingredients label.” Back again.
“If you would just-”
“If you would just-”
Vi’s hand landed on top of Caitlyn’s in a poor oversight of the trajectory of her movement. Her knuckles were sharp against alarmingly soft skin, twitching under Vi’s touch. She turned to face Caitlyn, only to realise she had met her halfway.
She was close enough to feel the small puff of breath that escaped Caitlyn’s throat and make out the dilation of black pupils that consumed the bright blue surrounding them.
Caitlyn pulled away like she had been stabbed by a hot poker, sitting back up.
Vi didn’t budge, she was left dumbfounded staring at a space that Caitlyn had previously filled. The moment had lasted mere seconds and left Vi questioning the past 14 years.
“It’s getting late.” Caitlyn said.
“Yeah.” Vi breathed out.
“You should go.” She continued.
“Yeah.” Vi repeated.
“We could probably aim to make more progress next time.” Caitlyn deadpanned.
Vi hadn’t considered the next time. She twisted to see Caitlyn staring at the laptop screen with a forlorn expression. She followed her line of sight.
A singular sentence sat on an otherwise empty page.
“Probably.” Vi laughed.
Notes:
i hope u enjoyed! as always, comment any pressing thoughts ❤️
Chapter 5: It's a Date
Summary:
This damn speech. Caitlyn's introduction into Vi's world.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Caitlyn waved at Vi when she reached the bottom of the stairs to the front door before shutting it, she leaned her whole weight against it and took a deep breath, as if she had just surfaced from being underwater.
The moment felt like being underwater in the deepest ocean. Disorienting, terrifying and mesmerising all at once. It had left her reeling, the type of reeling that couldn’t just go away with a deep breath and the shake of a head. It didn’t stop her from trying.
But her efforts were to no avail, a freckled nose and icy grey eyes followed her to bed and she laid awake in an impossibly large room with impossibly large feelings.
When she woke up she breathed a quiet sigh of relief that Vi hadn’t followed her into her dreams. That she could dismiss the tossing and turning as a fluke to be pushed to the back of her mind, to the place she safely stowed feelings that she had determined were not to emerge.
To allow it to infiltrate her mind would be like dismantling her belief system, one that had been built upon a sturdy foundation for 14 years and revolved around the idea that her and Vi were never to be friends, let alone more. And she tried really hard to ignore the part of her that questioned why the system was set up in the first place.
It didn’t help that just avoiding Vi was no longer an option, they had agreed to a speech that they had to see all the way through to protect both of their egos.
Vi had woken up chuffed, strolling around her house with a cocky grin spread across her face. A cocky grin that lingered on her face walking into school and said that she had been green lit to play with the emotions of the girl who had finally shown reciprocated attraction to Vi after 14 years.
She had marched into Salo’s class and enthusiastically greeted Lest beside Caitlyn, who was staring straight ahead and gnawing on her bottom lip, paying no attention to Vi. Or acting like it.
“Sorry. Can’t have lunch under the bleachers today.” She said to Lest who immediately frowned.
Tuesday lunchtimes were like their scheduled time to get high and follow it up with a trauma dump that doubled as a gossip session. It was an age-old tradition. Not the weed part.
“What? Why?” Lest asked frantically.
“Because…” Vi trailed off, glancing at Caitlyn, “I’ve got a library date with Princess Kiramman.”
This snapped Caitlyn out of her trance, immediately snapping her eyes to Vi. “What?” She released her bottom lip from her teeth, it was scattered with deep red marks.
“Yeah, I can’t do after school, my sister has an art show.” Vi said coolly.
“Oh,” was all Caitlyn managed to say.
“But this is the second to last Tuesday ever.” Lest whined, slumping into her seat.
“I’m sorry!” Vi put her hands up defensively as she sat in her own seat behind Caitlyn. “We’ll make the last one epic. I can’t just flake on my date.”
“Can you stop calling it a date?” Caitlyn turned slightly in her chair but not enough to reach Vi’s eyes.
“Is that not what it is?” Vi said incredulously.
“No.” Caitlyn’s voice was flat.
“My bad,” Vi sighed, “I guess I’m just a bit confused after yesterday.”
Caitlyn didn’t respond, just untucked her hair from behind her ear so it could cover the shade of pink it was turning. Vi leaned back in her seat, satisfied.
“And we don’t even have our Tuesday lunch to gossip about whatever that was.” Lest grumbled.
Vi found her eyes being drawn in by the clocks that sat above the chalkboards in every classroom of their small high school. Was she actually counting down the minutes until she could see Caitlyn Kiramman? It occurred to her then that maybe this wasn’t the first time. That maybe she had always checked her class lists for Caitlyn’s name. That she often scanned the cafeteria for long blue hair. That there was a kind of disappointment that nestled itself in her gut when Caitlyn was very rarely absent from school.
Caitlyn dropped her books on the table with a thud that echoed through the library. Her eyes went wide at the sound, clearly not anticipating such volume. She pressed her lips into a thin, awkward line as a few heads poked up from their study to shoot them looks of disapproval.
A laugh escaped Vi’s throat and she shook her head, partially out of amusement and partially to clear her head of the revelation that had hit her this fateful lunchtime.
“Well, that was mortifying.” Caitlyn mumbled.
Vi swatted the air. “They’re all just playing games. No finals left to study for. You might’ve made that guy lose his high score though.” Vi nodded with her chin at a boy sidled up in the far corner of the library who was still shooting the occasional daggers at Caitlyn.
To Vi’s surprise, Caitlyn snorted a laugh. “Oh God.”
“He’ll be right. You got your laptop?”
“Yes!” Caitlyn said, with the tone of someone who had just remembered why they even came here.
Vi’s eyebrows furrowed at the cadence of Caitlyn’s voice but a smile remained on her lips, entertained.
Caitlyn’s fingers fumbled with the opening of the laptop, Vi slouched back in her chair and crossed her arms, watching. Caitlyn would like to say that outside she was cool, calm and collected but anybody could tell she was dying both internally and externally. Every slip up saw her mortification growing into a bottomless pit. She wondered whether she would be acting like such a klutz if she hadn’t gotten so close to Vi. Hadn’t felt her breath on her face and seen every fleck of colour in her eyes.
“Before Christmas, Kiramman.” Vi offered up.
Her fingers slipped one last time before she pried the laptop open. The speech was open already. Well, the sentence was open already, staring them dead in the eyes.
“I forgot we accomplished nothing.” Vi tilted her head slightly to stare at the screen, as if doing so would make more words appear.
“Me too.” Caitlyn subconsciously tilted her head the same way.
“Well, we aren’t here to fuck spiders.” Vi leaned forward and slid the laptop over to her, her fingers drumming on the trackpad.
Caitlyn allowed it, wanting anything but a repeat of last night’s events.
The bell sung out half an hour later, marking the conclusion of Caitlyn’s personal hell: Not being able to take control of a shared task. They had managed to cough up a small paragraph that Caitlyn was certain she wouldn’t be able to hold herself back from privately editing and reworking. But she had calmly agreed to majority of Vi’s suggestions to keep the peace, even if she could practically see Vi’s head growing bigger as the minutes ticked by.
“We make an alright team.” Vi said casually as she shut the laptop and passed it to Caitlyn.
Caitlyn breathed out a subtle scoff.
“What?” Vi said in a nagging voice.
“I barely did anything.” Caitlyn said.
“Well, I didn’t hear any complaints.” Vi said, smug. “By the way, how would you rate the date?”
“You won’t let this go, will you?” Caitlyn asked, standing up.
“I’m just calling it like I see it.” Vi stated. “And the way I saw it, you got pretty flustered Kiramman.” She nudged Caitlyn with her shoulder.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Caitlyn asked, her voice clipped.
“Typical first date behaviour.” Vi smirked.
Caitlyn breathed steadily but strongly through her nose. “I’m just… tired.”
“Uh huh. Did you want to come to mine after school tomorrow? The way I see it, the more time we spend on it now, the less time we have to give to it at all.” Vi clarified, as if she suspected that Caitlyn would question her sense of urgency.
“Why is it a bad thing to give time to it?” Caitlyn instead asked.
It threw Vi off for a split second, her eyes snagged on Caitlyn’s before she smoothly recovered. “I know you’re not keen on it, or me for that matter.” She let a hesitant laugh slip.
“Oh.” Caitlyn nodded, unconvincingly.
“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Vi left without another word.
Caitlyn slipped her laptop into her bag before slinging it over her shoulder. Her hand then laid to rest on the same shoulder, the one Vi had nudged, where Caitlyn still felt her presence heavily. She shook her head before exiting the library.
The porch of Vi’s house creaked as Caitlyn shifted her weight between her feet before she shyly rapped on the door. Her father loomed in the car behind her, the engine softly humming like it was ready to escape at any moment. His nose was in the air. Caitlyn had insisted she just took a car with a driver but Tobias had concluded on his rare afternoon off of work that he was determined to spend time with his daughter. The determination only became clear after he found out where Vi lived.
A scrawny boy with ruffled brown hair swung open the door. “Pause it!” He screamed to the house behind him before turning around. His mouth slammed shut at the sight of Caitlyn before it fell open into a gawk.
“Hello.” She said, her voice so small.
“Vi!” He screamed for a second time, not taking his eyes off of Caitlyn.
He lowered the volume of his voice slightly, like he was talking to just the room of people behind him. “Guys! Caitlyn Kiramman is at the door!”
To Caitlyn’s horror she heard the padding of footsteps encroaching on the door. Vi’s siblings weren’t unfamiliar faces, it didn’t make them staring at her so close any less of a nightmare. This close, Caitlyn could make out the hollowness of Vi’s sisters eyes. They were what struck her the most out of the sight before her. But maybe the redness of them was only striking because of her blue hair, Caitlyn mentally decided.
“Guys, she isn’t a zoo animal!” Caitlyn had never associated Vi’s voice with relief, but right now it flooded her.
She shoved through her siblings and gave Caitlyn a lopsided smile before looking past her shoulder and at Caitlyn’s dad, giving him a nod with her chin. Caitlyn turned around to see her dad frown slightly before driving off.
When she turned around, Vi’s siblings had scurried off and Vi was just staring at her with curiosity. “Are you coming in?”
“Uh,” Caitlyn started.
Vi grabbed her forearm and pulled her inside, shutting the door behind her. The location of Vi’s siblings was no longer a mystery, they were squished up next to each other across a brown couch, staring at the screen in front of them. Caitlyn was just glad she was no longer the source of entertainment.
“Powder. Mylo. Claggor.” Vi pointed at each of them.
Caitlyn nodded with each point.
None of them looked up.
Vi’s house was maybe a little bit bigger than Caitlyn’s room but in the 30 seconds that she had been inside, it felt more like a home than her house ever had. It was warm in every way. She felt her cheeks pink, she watched as late afternoon golden light refracted off of suncatchers hung in front of every window and listened to the bickering that was coming from the couch which was laced with genuine love. She released a breath she was unaware she had been holding.
Caitlyn hadn’t been to many houses of her classmates, a rare birthday party invite here and a group project there. But when she had, they had always apologised profusely to her the moment she stepped into their house. For it’s size or the state it was in. As she got older she understood why. Vi didn’t apologise, just sauntered around with that same confidence she always possessed. Caitlyn preferred it this way anyway, she had always felt immensely awkward when it happened.
“And this is my room.” Vi said proudly.
Caitlyn wondered if eyes could be overwhelmed. Her fingers brushed across a few of the posters that covered the walls. A collection of half naked girls didn’t go unnoticed, scattered amongst band posters. Caitlyn’s hand lingered on the corner of one and she turned around to see a mortified Vi. Caught.
“And what kind of music do they make?” Caitlyn smirked.
“Of the punk rock genre.” Vi mumbled unconvincingly.
“I’m sure.” Caitlyn smiled sweetly.
“Ready to get started?” Vi cut off any other snide remarks from Caitlyn.
“Yes.” Caitlyn said, digging around in her bag for her laptop.
Vi sat on the edge of the bottom bunk and peered at her.
“Shit.” Caitlyn gritted her teeth.
“You forgot it?” Vi said with no affect.
“I forgot it.” Caitlyn confirmed. “I was watching videos of valedictory speeches-”
“You would.” Vi intervened.
She gave Vi a look. “And time got away from me and I rushed out the door and left it.” Caitlyn rubbed at her temples.
“If you just wanted to hang out, you should’ve said.” A smirk pulled at the corner of Vi’s mouth.
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “You would take this as a ploy to get closer to you.”
“And?”
“And, no one would willingly suffer your ego like that.”
Vi’s face ticked with amusement, evidence that she was enjoying this a little too much. “Ouch.” She said, but her voice reflected no pain.
“Truth hurts.”
“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I’m guessing you already have the speech memorised?” Vi tilted her head at Caitlyn.
Caitlyn looked up for a moment like she was digging around in her brain. “Yes.”
Vi nodded. “Okay, I’m going to hold myself back from telling you how lame that is,” she laughed but it was a gentle laugh, “because right now it’s actually beneficial.”
Caitlyn hugged herself, slightly embarrassed. “How so?”
“We’ll just write it down on paper and add on from that. My laptop is a lost cause.”
Caitlyn kicked herself for not thinking of that first, such a simple solution that could’ve saved her from her rambling explanation. “That’s what I was thinking.” She said casually.
Vi’s eyes pinched at the corners in a knowing way, her smirk still residing on her face. Alas, she stood up and fished around in her desk drawer for a notebook and pen.
“Okay.” She said, settled at the desk with a pen in hand, Caitlyn sat where Vi previously had. “How sappy are we aiming for? Any cute familial anecdotes worth sharing?”
“I think I’ll leave that part up to you.” Caitlyn answered.
“Oh, come on. I can’t just talk about my family.”
Caitlyn nodded at the door. “They actually seem worth writing about.”
“And Mr and Mrs Kiramman aren’t?” Vi arched an eyebrow.
“Maybe if I knew them they would be."
Caitlyn smiled. It was sad. Vi took notice.
Vi felt her own face fall before she replaced it with a grin.
“What?” Caitlyn asked, already annoyed.
“You know how cliché your family is?”
“Please, tell me.” Caitlyn made a gesture as if to say ‘the floor is yours.’
“Spoiled rich girl who realises the price she has to pay for having more money than one could ever need is workaholic parents who can’t seem to spare any time for her.” Vi paints the picture theatrically.
“Opposed to the girl who may not be well off in the financial sense but is rich in family and love and revels in self destructive behaviour?”
Vi pauses, lost for words. “Smoking weed is hardly a self destructive behaviour.” She finally laughs.
Caitlyn shrugs and it’s real because she’s never smoked weed and couldn’t really know.
“You got me though.” Vi surrenders.
“So did you.”
They both laugh and things feel lighter because the last person Caitlyn would expect to understand her saw straight through her and twisted her own life into something palatable. And then things feel heavier because that person is Vi.
The rest of the night was relatively uneventful. Aside from the nagging thoughts that infiltrated Caitlyn’s mind and demanded an explanation regarding the shifting dynamic between her and Vi. Worsened by the fact that Vi sat there so calmly, jotting down their suggestions lazily.
Her demeanour fascinated Caitlyn. She noticed the tapping of Vi’s foot to the beat of some rock song Caitlyn was sure was playing in her head opposed to the sporadic and aggressive bobbing up and down of Caitlyn’s knees. She noticed the slack nature of Vi’s jaw and felt for the first time since entering Vi’s house that she was clenching her teeth.
She noticed a vein popping out of Vi’s hand as she wrote and the profile of her face and now she was noticing things just because she could and now the back of her neck was prickling with heat.
She swallowed. Vi looked up.
“Ready to call it a night, Kiramman?”
Caitlyn nodded.
“Alright. I’ll give you this then.” Vi passed her the sheet of paper. “You’re right to type that all up on your computer?”
Caitlyn nodded.
“Great.” Vi breathed out.
Caitlyn managed to get through the goodbye relatively unscathed, it was slightly awkward if anything because she had elected to keep her speech minimal as to reduce risk of humiliation. As she left Vi’s house a truck pulled into the driveway and a large man got out, towering over Caitlyn’s already tall frame.
“And who might this be?” He said, which would ordinarily sound mean but his voice was as warm as Vi’s house.
“Caitlyn.” She squeaked out. “Kiramman.”
A bushy eyebrow quirked up in surprise but recovered quickly. “Vander. Vi’s dad. You must be the valedictorian.”
She nodded.
“Well, congratulations. You should be very proud of yourself.” He said earnestly.
“Thank you sir.” Caitlyn said.
“Vander’s fine, love.”
She could tell he meant it, too. The Lanes’ were honest people, she had decided. It was possibly the first redeemable quality she had mentally attached to Vi’s name.
Vi shut the door behind Caitlyn and leaned against it, willing her heartbeat to steady and silently praising herself for acting as if she couldn’t feel it in her ears for the entire time that Caitlyn was in her room. A few seconds later she heard the unmistakeable grumble of Vander’s truck and then his voice.
She was tempted to go out there and save Caitlyn, but Vander was harmless and her curiosity overcame her. She instead peeked out a front facing window.
Caitlyn looked like a deer caught in headlights until Vander said something and her eyes softened. He smiled at her and Vi knew that Vander only ever gave genuine smiles. She definitely didn’t read into it though.
The interaction was short but pleasant and then the porch was creaking under Vander’s feet.
“She’s a lovely girl.” He said when he got inside. “You’ve given her a bad rap.”
“You talked to her for 5 seconds. Even I could suck up to an adult for that long.” Vi argued.
“Someone’s confident.” Vander chuckled. “I’ve raised the four of you and you think I can’t recognise sucking up?”
Vi gave him a nasty look but shrugged, unable to respond because she knew he was right.
“You should be nicer to her. Getting too old for silly rivalries now.”
“Whatever.” She mumbled.
How could she admit to anyone that she had begun to want exactly that. For a stalemate to be called on their rivalry. A peace treaty had even crossed her mind. The whole thing was too far gone now and she hated that her brain had let the idea loose that she had perhaps made a grave mistake.
Notes:
i hope you're enjoying so far because i'm really loving writing this!!
thank you for reading
Chapter 6: Just Graduated
Summary:
It is graduation time!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I think we’re… friends?” Vi said after a sharp exhale of smoke, passing the joint to Lest.
It was a week later and the final Tuesday lunchtime of senior year, graduation was that Friday.
“So all these years of mindless bickering have boiled down to being friends?” Lest took a long drag.
Vi shrugged. “But there was this moment-”
Yellow eyes instantly snapped up, an eyebrow arching in curiosity.
“-when I was at hers for the first time and we got really close without realising.”
“What do you mean?”
Vi squirmed a little under Lest’s gaze. “Physically.”
Lest coughed loudly, a puff of smoke escaping her nostrils. “You didn’t…?”
Vi paused and frowned before the cogs turned in her brain. “Oh! Fuck no. You think I would’ve kept that in for a week?”
“So you’re open to it?” Lest smirked.
Vi’s ears turned the colour of her hair and she half shook and half nodded her head. “Can you just pass me the fucking joint?”
“How did this all start anyway?” Vi asked Caitlyn on Wednesday. She asked as if the story had escaped her for even a second. Quietly she hoped that rehashing the story would convince Caitlyn that their feud was ridiculous.
It was the last time they were able to work on the speech before they had to present it and they had barely rehearsed. Caitlyn gave her a look.
“We don’t have time for this Lanes. You were there.” Her voice was clipped and her eyes returned to the laptop screen, she mouthed the lines of writing silently.
“Humour me.” Vi shrugged. She liked that Caitlyn knew exactly what she was referring to without explicitly stating it.
Caitlyn pressed her hands flat on the massive dining table in her house and slumped her shoulders. “You were being a cocky bastard playing soccer so I proved to you that I was better at it and you threw a hissy fit. Happy?”
“A hissy fit? You wound me.” She laughed softly.
Vi remembered the story a little differently and part of her knew that Caitlyn did as well. They were 4 years old. Preschoolers. Vi’s shorts were stained with grass as she continuously tried to kick goals. She was yet to meet Lest and was taller and rougher than the other kids so she often spent her break doing the same thing.
Caitlyn had wandered over, alone as well, and watched Vi for a little while. Vi ignored her.
“You’re good at that.” Caitlyn had finally squeaked up.
Vi stopped and rested her hands on her hips. “Thanks.”
“I could probably be better than you.” Caitlyn stepped closer to Vi.
She remembered how big Caitlyn’s eyes were compared to her face, just wide blue spheres staring straight at Vi.
“Maybe.” She shrugged, confident that she couldn’t. “Try.” She said, and tapped the ball to Caitlyn.
Caitlyn ran circles around Vi. She was agile and precise in ways that Vi wasn’t. She gawked at the netting of the goal as it was repeatedly hit.
As they say, the rest was history. Vi had been thrown off her game and was determined to find things she was better at or could make herself better at. Caitlyn was determined to not allow it.
Vi’s ‘hissy fit,’ as Caitlyn called it, was Vi clenching her fists at her side and taking the ball back.
“You just play this by yourself.” She told Caitlyn.
“No you don’t. Soccer has teams.” She crossed her arms in response.
“Well, I don’t want you on my team.” Vi huffed.
Caitlyn had gotten teary eyed, made worse by how large her eyes were, before she stormed off.
“Safe to say we both hold a grudge.” Vi said, looking at an older Caitlyn whose face had grown to accommodate her eyes. “Silly, right?”
Caitlyn hummed. “I don’t know.”
“Hm?” Vi’s stomach turned a bit.
“If I wasn’t so determined to be better than you at everything, maybe I wouldn’t be valedictorian at all.” She said.
“I seriously doubt that.” Vi chuckled. “I’d say it applies to me though.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have challenged you 14 years ago then. Got the stage to myself on Friday.” Caitlyn said with a smug face.
“Try telling a 4 year old Caitlyn not to challenge someone.”
This made Caitlyn laugh, it was bright and genuine and Vi couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m glad you did.” Vi let slip before she could stop herself. She felt her cheeks pink a little bit which she hated.
“What?” Caitlyn laughed but her eyes were serious.
Vi searched for a quick recovery. “I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of writing this speech with you.” Her tone may have been sarcastic but her words were honest.
“Ah, your date delusions.” Caitlyn looked to be at a crossroads between disappointment and relief.
“I’ve gotta mess with you somehow.” Vi grinned.
Caitlyn gave a quarter of a smile. Maybe a half. “I’m glad I did too.”
Vi’s chest swelled and she cleared her throat before nodding casually. “Okay, are we going to practice this speech or not?”
“It’s not like that’s what I’ve been trying to do this whole time.” Caitlyn deadpanned.
They actually did get to work and were reasonably productive, the perks of being academically driven.
Caitlyn checked the clock at the top of the screen. “Mel will be here soon. Do you think we’ve got it?”
“For sure princess. You nervous?”
Caitlyn wrapped her arms around herself. “A little. Public speaking isn’t exactly my forte.”
“You sounded all clear just now in front of me.” Vi said.
“Yes, but you’re you.”
“I’m me?” Vi raised an eyebrow.
Caitlyn thought back to the day that Deckard received an elbow to the gut from Vi after his jeering. It was one of the very few times in her life where she hadn’t managed to weasel her way out of public speaking and she owed it to Vi that she survived it.
She giggled. “You know what I mean. There’s no reason to be scared.”
Vi put both of her hands up. “I’ll take it.” She stopped at the door. “By the way, why didn’t you keep going with soccer?”
Caitlyn pulled open the door. The sun had mostly set. “I think Cassandra would have a nosebleed if she saw me in shin guards. She pushed for ballet and ballet doesn’t leave much time or energy for another sport.” She shrugged.
“I should probably be grateful you didn’t. I wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“Well, I’m not doing ballet anymore so you might see me out on the field.” Caitlyn said sarcastically.
“You aren’t?”
“No, that show was my last one.”
“That’s great.” Vi said earnestly.
“It is?” Caitlyn tilted her head curiously.
“Yeah. You hated it.” Vi said as if it was an obvious decision.
“I guess so.” Caitlyn agreed.
“I wrapped up soccer in October.”
“Oh. But you were so good at it.” Caitlyn said.
Compliments passed between them with ease now, no sarcasm or snark.
“Good is never good enough. I won’t have time for it anyway with studying.” Vi was wistful.
Caitlyn didn’t respond.
“Plus my knees have aged about 30 years since I started playing.”
Caitlyn laughed.
“Should you be laughing?” Vi arched an eyebrow.
Caitlyn sighed. “You’re right. I mean, you’ve seen the decay of my body firsthand.”
“Here’s to recovery.” Vi quipped.
“Please.” Caitlyn agreed, just as the gate at the front of the property slid open.
Mel’s car crunched over the gravel as it rounded the fountain in the middle of the driveway and came to a halt at the bottom of the steps.
Mel had never really intimidated Vi, not until now. A small part of her now felt some pressure to be liked by people who were close to Caitlyn.
She gave Mel a nod as she walked down the stairs.
“Lanes.” Mel drawled in a sickly sweet tone with an amused look on her face.
“Go easy Mel.” Caitlyn intervened from the top of the stairs. Vi turned around to see Caitlyn already looking at her, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
Vi spared a glance to Mel before returning it to Caitlyn. “See you on Friday.”
Caitlyn nodded. “See you.”
“What’s going on there?” Mel asked as she led the way into Caitlyn’s house.
“Where?” Caitlyn frowned.
Mel looked over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes before nodding her head towards the door. “With Vi.”
“Oh.” Caitlyn laughed. “Nothing.”
“I don’t know.” Mel said, not convinced. “You guys seem to be… tolerating each other lately. Since the cafeteria.”
“I guess we’re friends?”
Mel’s jaw dropped.
“Acquaintances?” Caitlyn pondered.
“I think I just felt the Earth shift.” Mel said.
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “We couldn’t fight our way through writing a speech.”
“I could.”
“I know you could.” She smiled.
They had made their way to Caitlyn’s room where she flopped on the bed.
“She’s… surprised me.”
“Vi?” Mel asked.
“Don’t act so shocked. Yes.”
“How?”
Caitlyn thought for a moment before rolling onto her side and propping her head up with her hand. “She’s down to earth and funny and a good listener. I’ve known her almost my whole life but it still surprised me how well we know each other.”
“Are these your wedding vows?” Mel smirked.
It was quickly wiped off her face when a pillow hit her square in the nose.
“Shove in.” Vander said, his voice had reached a level of frustration at how difficult it had been to get his kids in one place for a photo.
They were out the front of their house, already running late. Vi was draped in navy robes and had been begrudgingly forced to put her graduation cap on for the photo. Mylo fixed his hair in the reflection of the camera lens Vander was holding while Claggor dragged him backwards by the collar to stand in line with the rest of them.
It was a beautiful day, so warm and so bright, like something out of a movie.
“I bet your speech says some cringy shit like ‘the end of an era but the start of an age.’” Powder said, making a grand gesture with her hands, a dramatic expression on her face.
“Does not.” Vi said, annoyed. She continued fussing with how her hair laid under her cap.
“Don’t worry, it looks as shit as ever.” Mylo sneered.
“I’m gonna kill you.” Vi said in a low voice through her teeth as she smiled for the photo.
“Three, two- no bunny ears Pow, one.” Vander said, satisfied enough.
Vi clapped her hands together. “Great. Let’s roll.”
“We have to change the speech.” She said as soon as she saw Caitlyn.
“What?!” Caitlyn said, alarmed.
“This line,” Vi prodded the page with her finger, “cringeworthy.”
“End of an era… start of an age.” Caitlyn read out slowly. “I think it’s fine.” She shrugged.
“Trust me. It’s not.” Vi insisted.
“We’re backstage right now and you want to make changes?”
“Don’t stress, I’ll read that part.”
Caitlyn just pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. She looked irritatingly good in the graduation robes, the yellow stole draped around her shoulders that read “valedictorian” contrasting her deep blue hair.
Fold out chairs covered a good portion of their school’s football field, excluding the stage. A sea of navy against the green grass, backed by families on the bleachers. The stage was raised and framed by red banners, the Zaun highschool crest in gold across them. Heimerdinger was rattling off a speech that reflected a scrambled mind, theatric and poorly paced. Vi smiled fondly.
“Not too bad of a setup, huh?” She asked Caitlyn.
There was no response.
She turned around to see Caitlyn frantically muttering lines of the speech under her breath, her eyes darting from line to line of writing.
“Hey.” Vi said softly, catching Caitlyn off guard.
She exhaled.
“We’ve got this.” Vi squeezed Caitlyn’s arm and gave it a gentle shake, nodding at Caitlyn encouragingly until Caitlyn nodded back. She laughed out of embarrassment and shook out her shoulders.
“It is my great privilege to welcome to the stage your co-valedictorians, Violet Lanes and Caitlyn Kiramman.” Heimerdinger gestured to his right.
Caitlyn and Vi emerged from the left.
“Ah!” Heimerdinger said with a nervous chuckle as he switched his gesturing hand, earning a laugh from the students.
Vi laughed along, walking with an effortless swagger to the podium and shaking Heimerdinger’s hand. “Thank you.”
Caitlyn walked like she was in a hurry but there were rods in her clothes that restricted the movement of her limbs, rigid and stiff.
They stood shoulder to shoulder behind the podium.
“Hello everyone,” Vi said casually into the microphone. There had been much back and forth on how to open the speech, with Caitlyn insisting it lacked professionalism and Vi insisting it didn’t need to be professional. “As you can imagine, writing this speech together was no easy task,” the audience hummed in agreement which made Vi grin, “but I can confidently say today that there is no one I would rather share the stage with than Caitlyn, nobody more deserving of this title.” Vi gestured to her own stole.
Caitlyn had read the speech a million times, but it was the sincerity of Vi’s words that knocked the wind out of her.
“You see, I have realised the importance of connection more in the past two weeks than I have in my four years at this school and I have realised it through the most unlikely person. In this small town, we are all bound by stories and experiences.”
Vi moved over a little bit to give Caitlyn more access to the microphone.
“That embarrassing moment you were sure you would never live down will be a story you tell fondly for years to come,” Caitlyn’s voice shook, coming off too loudly and then too quietly before finding a good middle ground, “that awful school photo will become one of the most treasured ones in your photo album. These formative and tumultuous years will now retire as memories for the rest of our lives.” Her heart was thundering in her ears.
“You could choose to feel saddened by this,” Vi continued, “but the way that I see it, so many new opportunities to make memories have risen. However, we cannot move forward without thanking those who helped us to get there. My family is the reason I stand before you today, and while grief is not an unfamiliar feeling to me, it is not what I feel on this stage. For I have been loved beyond what I thought was possible at 11 years old and I have them to thank for it.” A lump in her throat mangled the last of her words.
She heard a distant “whoop!” which was sure to be Mylo, making her laugh.
Caitlyn smiled at the sight before she returned to the microphone. She had given up on searching the crowd for her parents this time, their absence was felt before it was seen. “So, if you are fortunate enough to have someone standing behind you today, who has supported you every step of the way, don’t take it for granted.”
Vi looked down to see Caitlyn’s hand shaking uncontrollably.
“These titles granted to us aren’t something we take lightly, and also aren’t something we could’ve earned without the greatly dedicated teachers here at Zaun.” Caitlyn continued.
Vi instinctively inched her hand closer to Caitlyn’s, looking out at the crowd as Caitlyn reminisced their time in Salo’s class.
Their knuckles brushed and there was a brief pause in Caitlyn’s words that perhaps Vi only noticed. Under the cover of the podium, Caitlyn instantly wrapped her hand around Vi’s and held it tightly.
They stayed like that, intertwined, for the remainder of the speech. It felt like the ground levelled out underneath Caitlyn, her voice grew stronger.
“Thank you and congratulations.” Vi concluded the speech, arching an eyebrow and smiling at Caitlyn.
The football field erupted into applause as everyone stood from their chairs.
Caitlyn’s eyes grew wide and there was a panging feeling in her heart that couldn’t shake that her parents had just missed their last opportunity to show up for her.
She released Vi’s hand, maybe hesitantly, as they walked off stage and took their seats with the rest of the cohort.
“So, was it up to your standard?” Vi whispered to Caitlyn as some speeches continued.
Caitlyn shot her a look. “It was perfect.” She admitted.
“You should trust my creative direction more.” Vi said.
“Your last minute ‘creative direction’ was the cause of half of my nerves.” Caitlyn said with air quotation marks.
“Who calmed them?” Vi quipped.
Caitlyn went red. “Shut up. It was a moment of weakness.”
“Yeah, okay.” Vi said unconvinced.
“I hate you.” Caitlyn said, smiling.
Vi just laughed. She bobbed her knees up and down frantically through the rest of the speeches and presentations, Caitlyn sat completely still. Vi cracked jokes with Lest next to her as Caitlyn and Mel stared straight ahead.
Finally, Heimerdinger returned to the podium. It felt final. “Please rise.” He said, looking out at the crowd of students.
Vi jumped to her feet, nudging Lest excitedly.
“By the power vested in me by the department of education, it is my honour to present this year’s graduating class of Zaun Highschool.”
Caitlyn took a deep breath before moving the tassel on her graduation cap to the left. She looked at Mel and laughed. Mel wrapped her up in a hug.
Vi launched her cap into the air without hesitation, starting a trend across the field.
“Did you even move the tassel?” Caitlyn frowned.
Vi thought for a moment. “Um…”
“Oh my God.” Caitlyn shook her head, smiling.
“Come on princess.” Vi took off Caitlyn’s cap and handed it to her.
Caitlyn gave her a look before throwing it upwards. It disappeared into the crowd. “I better get that back.”
“You’re coming to the party tonight, right?” Vi asked Caitlyn after they retrieved their caps and were walking to the families at the back of the field.
“Of course!” Caitlyn said sarcastically.
“You’re not, are you?” Vi said.
“No way.” Caitlyn scoffed.
“Why not?” Vi whined.
“No one wants me there. I would be no fun.” Caitlyn said, a slight sadness to her voice.
“I beg to differ.” Vi said.
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. I want you there.”
Caitlyn looked at her, really looked at her, taking in her face. It occurred to her that she didn’t want this to be the last time she saw Vi until they by chance ran into each other at university. If that even happened.
“I’ll think about it.” She landed on as they reached the families.
“Vi!” Powder screeched. Her baby sister ran into her arms. “You did great!”
“Hey.” Vi said between laughs.
Her family joined in on the hug. “Proud of you kiddo.” Vander ruffled her hair.
Caitlyn watched, she wasn’t aware that she was watching but it wasn’t like she had a family to run to so she was happy where she was. She had grown fond of Vi’s family in the past weeks. She had been over enough times that they no longer gawked at her.
Mylo had once dared her to verse him in some car racing game, like he was desperate for his ego to be restored after being obliterated by Claggor for the entire night. She had left him in the dust, he just stared at the screen with his mouth gaping open. “What the fuck?”
Caitlyn smiled at the thought just as Vander looked up from the pile. He looked at Caitlyn standing there alone and frowned slightly, searching the vicinity for any signs of her parents. Caitlyn wondered if he would be able to pick them out, having seen them maybe once or twice during her time at school.
He extended an arm to her. “Come on kiddo.”
She shook her head. “That’s okay.”
“It’s not.” He said.
How could someone’s voice be so gruff and so soft at the same time?
She walked over hesitantly until she was in arms reach of Powder who grabbed and pulled her in. Vander’s arm was almost crushingly draped over her shoulders but in the best way. She laughed at the absurdity of the situation which caught Vi’s attention. She peaked at her over Powder shoulders.
“They got you too, huh?”
“Looks like it.”
Notes:
so excited to move into the future of this fic and what i've planned from the start
i'm no longer going to make any promises of speeding up the process of writing because clearly it isn't working, this is just on my timeline <3
thank you all so much for sticking around so far!
Chapter 7: Party For You
Summary:
Grad party!
Notes:
the competition is how many party clichés can you fit in one chapter and i definitely won. anyway, this is my favourite chapter yet and the longest (yippee) i hope you enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Seraphine’s house was something of house party dreams. Massive but modern in contrast to Caitlyn’s house, the only other mansion Vi was familiar with. Absent workaholic parents and a perfectly curated playlist that thundered through the door as Vi walked in. It was open inside, you could see the second floor from the front door and the railing was lined with people dancing.
Something in the air had shifted, an unspoken sense of freedom and carelessness, like the whole year level knew that this would be their last time in the same place. Vi took it all in and hiked up the white long sleeve under her band t-shirt. Being the musical prodigy she was, Seraphine had a smoke machine and extensive display of lights, causing the early summer night coolness to dissipate the moment you stepped inside.
She felt a pair of hands wrap around her arm and tuned to see Lest. “Vi, come on!”
She allowed herself to be dragged to what looked to be a living room underneath the crowd of people inside. Gert and Margot were mutual friends of Vi and Lest and were sitting on a couch against the far wall of the room.
“Hey.” Vi nodded at them both and gave Gert a lazy fist bump.
Lest plopped down next to Gert like a cat and Gert’s arm immediately slung itself around her shoulder, broad and stocky. They had been on and off again for the entirety of senior year. On again, Vi noted. She raised a smug eyebrow at Lest who bashfully grinned.
“How long will things last this time?” Vi gestured between the two of them.
Gert smirked. “As long as she’ll allow it.” She nodded towards Lest.
“So not long.” Vi concluded.
“Shut up.” Lest laughed, sloshing her can of drink towards Vi.
“Where’s mine?” Vi frowned, but Gert and Lest were back in their little bubble.
Margot sighed. “Come on. I’ll show you where the drinks are.”
“Cheers.” Vi said.
“Thank God you’re here, they’ve been like that all night.” Margot nodded to where they had just come from. Her white blonde hair shifted colours with the lights as she made her way through the crowd ahead of Vi.
“They’ve gotta enjoy it while it lasts.” She shrugged.
“You’re not wrong.” Margot said as she opened a cooler on the kitchen floor and handed a beer to Vi. “Nice speech by the way.”
Vi frowned. It was unlike Margot to give a compliment. “You think so?”
“It’s the part I wanted to kill myself the least during.”
Vi snorted into her drink. “I’m glad. Heimerdinger’s address not up to your standards?”
Margot gave her a look. “The constant babbling? No thank you.”
“Brutal.” Vi laughed. She looked around the lower floor of the house, the gigantic kitchen provided a great view of everything.
“Looking for someone?” Margot leaned her hip against the marble benchtop.
“Hm? Oh, no.” Vi scratched the back of her neck and took another sip.
“You know,” Margot said, her voice suddenly low, “if I didn’t know any better I would’ve thought something was going on with you and Kiramman.”
Vi coughed and spluttered, some liquid flying out of her mouth. She felt her face grow hot.
Margot watched with an amused look on her face. “You’re supposed to swallow it.”
Vi gave a weak thumbs up.
Margot gave her some time to recover but didn’t change the subject, or her face.
“Uh, no. Nothing’s going on.”
She wondered what other people saw that she didn’t. It wasn’t the first time she was having this conversation.
“All I’m saying is rivals don’t look at each other like that.” Margot said.
“Like what?” Vi tilted her head.
A smile played on Margot’s lips as she turned her head to the front door. “Like that.”
Vi followed her line of sight. Caitlyn was standing at the door, her eyes burning a hole through Vi. Vi trailed her eyes down her body, the warmth of alcohol already destroying her subtlety.
Her top was silver and cowl necked, draped across her chest with a black bra poking through underneath. Vi swallowed and registered the length of her black mini skirt. It was no surprise that Caitlyn had legs for days but seeing them outside of powder pink ballerina tights was another thing.
“Should I hit the lights?” Margot whispered, barely audible over the music that hadn’t stopped pounding but was now blurring the lines between the speakers and Vi’s heart.
“Sorry, I’ll join you later.” Vi said dismissively as she made her way over to Caitlyn.
“I’m sure.” She heard Margot say faintly.
Caitlyn had spotted Vi from the moment she walked through the door. Posted behind the kitchen counter, talking to Margot. Margot looked beautiful, her black dress had strategically placed cut outs all over it, her pale skin showing in all the right places. And Vi wasn’t just talking to Margot. She was laughing and blushing, shy at times, flashing that same grin Caitlyn had grown familiar with.
It killed her that she couldn’t be a fly on the wall for their conversation.
She took a moment to drag her eyes away from Vi to adjust her outfit, tugging at the straps of her bra and the hem of her skirt. It was the reason that she was so late to the party, it had taken a lot of self convincing to step out the door with it on. But she figured she would never see these people again, except maybe for the one she sought to impress.
She was also glad her late arrival had given the party a chance to come to life, if everything went to shit she could comfortably be a wallflower without anyone paying her a second glance.
The same hand that held Vi’s had felt lighter all day, tingly in the tips of her fingers. She shook it out as she looked up, her eyes returning to Vi. Margot looked in Caitlyn’s direction and Vi followed suit. It didn’t feel like any of the other times they had locked eyes.
There was gravity to it, a shift where the world stood still and the music lapsed, a glint in both of their eyes that wasn’t just the reflection of some dazzling party lights.
And then Vi moved with intent, like she couldn’t get to Caitlyn fast enough. A faint smile graced Caitlyn’s lips and she cleared her throat, ready for whatever comment Vi would throw her way.
Caitlyn’s face fell when Vi was a mere few feet away from her and was swept away by Seraphine. Seraphine with her low cut purple mini dress and perfectly fallen hair.
She watched them talk. Did Vi have that effortless charm with every girl she came across? She watched as Seraphine threw her head back laughing and her fingertips grazed Vi’s arm.
“Caitlyn!” Mel stepped into her line of sight and snapped her out of her trance before giving her a hug. “I can’t believe you’re here!”
“Yeah. Yeah!” Caitlyn corrected her forlorn tone, plastering on a smile as Mel led her away.
She gave one last glance over her shoulder at Vi talking to Seraphine. She chewed the inside of her cheek in thought.
“Vi!” A bubbly voice intercepted her path to Caitlyn.
“Hey!” Vi said, her teeth slightly gritted as she feigned excitement.
“So glad you could make it!” Seraphine said, not taking the hint.
“Yeah. It’s a nice pad.” She said coolly, looking around the house.
Seraphine tossed her head back, a hearty laugh escaping her throat.
Vi frowned. “What?”
Seraphine recovered. “It’s like you walked out of a rom com. Nice pad?”
“Oh.” She chuckled awkwardly.
Seraphine’s flashy smile didn’t leave her face. She brushed her hand down Vi’s arm. Vi stared at it and then back up at Seraphine who was now pouting a little bit.
“Did you want to play beer pong?” She asked Vi.
Vi searched for a quick escape. “I’m actually gonna get another drink. Sorry.”
Seraphine frowned. “But you can drink in beer pong?” She was the one feigning a high pitched laugh now.
“Winners don’t drink.” Vi shrugged. “Nice to see you.” She said before walking off.
She kept up the act, throwing back the rest of her drink and grabbing another before wandering around. She wouldn’t admit if she was asked but she was in search of Caitlyn.
She ducked her head into any room she could find, scanning the bodies before leaving. How many bedrooms did a family of three need? She gave up after walking in on a half naked makeout session involving two of her biology classmates.
“Sorry.” She winced before closing the door and releasing a long and slow breath. In pursuit of the one person she wanted to see, she had seen sights she couldn’t conjure up in her worst nightmares. She retreated back to the couch her friends were still hanging around, eyes darting as she moved, searching for that silver glitter that was now engrained in her mind.
She took a joint from Lest’s hand before slumping onto the couch next to Margot.
“Nice of you to join us.” She smiled sweetly.
“Don’t.” Vi gave her a look.
Caitlyn swirled her fingertips through the surface of the pool water, watching the ripples build and fade. Her face was illuminated by the aquamarine light shining through the water. Mel and Sarah were in a passionate but tipsy debate beside her over whether a straw has one hole or two.
“But,” Mel pulled the straw out of her drink and covered one end of it with a finger, “how can I do this if there’s only one hole? The other side is still open.”
“Maybe it’s not a hole at all.” Sarah said, speech slurred.
“A tunnel.” Mel giggled.
Sarah nodded thoughtfully.
Caitlyn laughed to herself. Her drink sat untouched next to her, she had taken it after Mel had insisted.
“What do you think, blue?” Sarah peered over Mel’s shoulder.
Caitlyn arched an eyebrow. “Blue? I don’t know if I like tipsy Sarah.”
In truth, she barely knew Sarah. She was more Mel’s friend. Glamorous red hair and eyes that rivalled the colour of the pool. But she was grateful right now that she could keep Mel entertained as she ran through her conversations with Vi in her mind. Filing through little details and quirks, matching them up to Vi’s interactions with other people. Other girls. Was there anything reserved for Caitlyn or was that flirtatious glint in grey eyes just a figment of her imagination?
“What do you think, Caitlyn?” Sarah asked again.
Caitlyn smiled. “Whatever you do.”
“It’s settled then. We’re playing beer pong.”
Caitlyn frowned. “What?”
“Yup.” Sarah said, standing up and dragging Mel and Caitlyn to their feet, stumbling a bit as she did so.
“Daydreaming again?” Mel smiled.
Caitlyn held Sarah’s arm as she steadied herself. “Maybe.”
The three of them made their way inside, Mel and Sarah completely oblivious to all of the eyes that were on them.
“Margot!” Sarah shouted happily from one side of the living room before rushing across it.
“Oh. She’s moving.” Caitlyn said.
“Yes,” Mel sucked her teeth, “I think tipsy Sarah has graduated to drunk Sarah.”
Caitlyn snorted. “Glad you’re still in this with me.”
Mel laughed but her face turned serious almost instantly. “We better get her though.”
“Yeah.” Caitlyn muttered as they forged their way through the crowd.
“I didn’t even think Margot and her were close?” Caitlyn questioned as they approached Sarah.
“Everyone seems close when you’re drunk.” Mel said.
“You’re probably ri-”
There was something inexplicable about seeing the person who had just been clouding your mind right in front of you, like you had dreamed them up and out of thin air. But there Vi was, sitting so casually, taking a long drag from a joint perched between her thumb and index finger, staring at Caitlyn.
“Princess.” She said as it left her mouth.
Caitlyn’s heart stuttered. She opened her mouth, unsure of what she would say but Sarah took that liberty from her anyway.
“Will you guys play beer pong with us?” She pouted.
Margot groaned and pressed a couple of fingers to her forehead. “How drunk is she?”
“Do you think the ping pong table could double as a stretcher?” Caitlyn asked, smiling mischievously.
Vi laughed a real, deep laugh. Caitlyn’s laugh.
“I’m in.” Vi said.
Gert stood up and held a hand out to Lest who took it. “We'll go stake our claim over the table.”
Margot groaned again as Vi stood up. “Someone has to drink Sarah’s drinks. You can do that, can’t you?”
Margot immediately got to her feet. “Should’ve led with that.” She scurried off with Mel and Sarah.
“Mhm.” Vi hummed, before scratching the back of her neck and directing her attention to Caitlyn. “You thought about it?”
“With your constant begging, it was hard to say no.” She couldn’t help the smile that pulled at the apples of her cheeks until they started to ache when she was around Vi.
If someone had told her she would feel this way around Vi Lanes a year ago she would’ve laughed in their face.
“Begging, huh?”
There was some cheering from the bottom of the staircase next to the kitchen and much to Caitlyn’s horror, she looked over to see Deckard and his goons had brought their skateboards inside and were trying to make it down the railing of the staircase.
They simultaneously winced as a skateboard hit a bump at the end of the railing and a boy stumbled off with the impact and into the crowd. 10 seconds later, they saw two fists shoot up into the air and a victorious cheer ran through the room.
Caitlyn and Vi looked at each other and broke into laughter.
Vi’s face morphed into something more earnest. “You look beautiful,” she said.
“Hm?” Caitlyn asked.
At this moment a skateboard ran over the cord that was connected to the sound system, shrouding the room in silence.
“You look beautiful!” Vi yelled, in the way someone does when they need every syllable to be heard over thumping music. Except the room was silent and her voice reverberated through it.
Everybody stared at them, eyes wide and curious. They heard another thud of a skateboarder. The music started up again as quickly as it had stopped, everyone returning to their own conversations.
Caitlyn laughed. “I heard you the first time.”
Vi stared at her, deadpan, a pink glow to her cheeks. “What is wrong with you?”
Caitlyn shrugged, grinning. “Come on.”
“Alright. Teams.” Gert said. They were huddled around the ping pong table, heads in. Gert was pulling out dramatic hand gestures like she was coaching the superbowl, making them all laugh.
“I’m drafting Lest for my team.” She said.
“I’m drafting Kiramman for mine.” Vi chimed in.
She tossed Caitlyn a wink who smiled shyly to herself.
“Okay, Vi has self appointed herself captain of the losing team.” Gert teased.
Vi snorted. “Eat shit.”
“I’m gonna throw up.” Sarah announced weakly.
“Okay, let’s go.” Mel jumped into action, immediately pulling Sarah’s hair back and guiding her to one of the bathrooms.
They watched them leave, Caitlyn looked especially concerned.
“She’ll feel much better afterwards.” Vi reassured her.
Caitlyn nodded hesitantly before returning back to the huddle.
“Two on two works better anyway,” Gert concluded, “and Margot, we can trust you as our referee?”
“Give me a drink and I’ll make any call you want.” Margot crossed her arms, nose in the air.
“...Great.” Gert said, making Vi laugh.
“Alright,” Vi said to Caitlyn once they were at their end of the table, “first few shots are basically practice so no pressure, okay?”
A smug look spread across Caitlyn’s face. She rolled the orange ball between her fingers before looking at Vi. “Practice, huh?”
Without moving her eyes from Vi, she tossed the ball along a perfect arc, it landed with a satisfying plop in the centremost cup.
Gert and Lest both looked up at Caitlyn, bewildered.
It was the hottest thing Vi had ever seen.
“Well fuck.” She laughed, trying to play it off. “I think we’ve got this in the bag.”
“Hey, now,” Lest said, “beginner's luck.”
It wasn’t beginner's luck.
“It’s just practice.” Caitlyn whispered in Vi’s ear after she lobbed a ball over all of the cups and straight into Gert’s hand, sending prickles down the back of her neck.
“I know, I know. I shouldn’t have said it.” Vi said, raising her hands in defeat and taking another drink from the cup Gert just landed the ball in.
“Was my soccer and video game prowess not evidence enough that I would be good at this?” Caitlyn asked as she scored the winning shot, not even flinching in celebration, like it was just securing what was already guaranteed.
Lest and Gert groaned. Caitlyn handed one of the cups left on their side to Margot who smiled gratefully.
“Cockiness never suited you, Kiramman.” Vi tilted her head.
She was lying through her teeth, Caitlyn was alluring when she had confidence pulsing through her veins.
“Feel free to jump teams.” Her smile was sugar sweet.
Vi looked at the opposition, stumbling around blind and giggling. “I’m good, actually.”
“What do we have here?” A snide and gravelly voice cut through the moment, followed by two palms slamming down onto the table, causing Caitlyn to jump and the plastic cups to tumble over.
“Deckard.” Vi greeted calmly, moving around Caitlyn so that she was the one closer to him.
“What do you want?” Gert piped up in an unkind voice, the alcohol numbing her ability to pick up on the nature of a conversation.
He put his hands up in mock surrender. “Just wanna know what Mr and Mrs Kiramman would think of their golden child hanging out with people like you.” He was answering Gert but his comment was really directed at Vi. He smiled, it was stomach twisting.
“People like me?,” Vi clenched a fist at her side, “remind me again, it was you who couldn’t even get waitlisted for community college, right?”
Deckard’s jaw ticked but he ignored the comment, looking at Caitlyn instead. Caitlyn felt herself shrink and cower under his gaze.
“You two have been awfully close lately. Are mummy and daddy paying her to keep you company while they fuck off?”
Caitlyn opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out.
“Deckard.” Vi warned.
He chuckled, low and menacing. “You speak for her too? Always knew you had a soft spot for Kiramman, just didn’t know top siders did charity work.”
Vi’s fist landed on his jaw with a resounding thud. It was that same thud that Caitlyn heard when Vi’s elbow landed on Deckard’s gut in that classroom years ago.
Caitlyn watched his jaw misalign for a moment before it bounced back, like it was in slow motion. He staggered backwards against the table.
As it turned out, ping pong tables didn’t double as stretchers. It collapsed under his weight and he went with it, beer flying out of cups and over the floor. Caitlyn barely had time to process before Vi was on him again. The music sounded like it was getting quieter, fading into the background, but it was a party and music didn’t quiet down at parties.
And then time sped up again, Vi had his arms pinned to his chest with one arm and her other fist was hovering next to her face, shaking.
Deckard’s eyes were wide and bloodshot but he just smiled maniacally, like this is what he had been waiting for. His teeth were coated in blood, skin split against teeth on contact. Caitlyn was shocked there wasn’t any missing.
A crowd had formed now, people standing on tip toes to see over everyone. Caitlyn could hear Seraphine trying to forge her way through, shouting something about the polished concrete floors and blood.
Vi pulled her fist back, ready to release it for the second time.
Caitlyn screamed her name, it was strangled and simultaneously blood curdling like how it felt when she tried to scream in her dreams.
Vi looked at her and her arms went limp, releasing Deckard. Her eyes had a glint of shame and embarrassment, glossing over the ferocity she had pinned Deckard with.
Deckard was unmoving for a moment, looking entirely startled. But as Vi moved to her feet, he didn’t miss his opportunity to return the favour. A solid fist came up and slammed into Vi’s face, knocking her backwards.
Caitlyn rushed to catch her as Gert rushed to grab Deckard, lifting him by the collar. “Get the fuck out of here.” She said, and it wasn’t a suggestion. He ran off, clutching at his jaw.
Lest looked at Vi with the whites of her eyes showing around her entire iris, sending a bolt of panic through Caitlyn who held a limp Vi in her arms. She recovered her panicked eyes and addressed the crowd. “Show’s over.”
There was a collective groan and some mumbles of disgruntlement from the crowd but they eventually dissipated.
Seraphine pushed her way through them all and squealed at the sight of the blood and beer splatter across the floor. “What have you done?” She asked, upping the theatrics.
“Oh, boo hoo.” Gert hissed, dismissing her.
Caitlyn tapped Vi’s cheek gently, above the split in her lip and the angry bruise that was forming. Aside from that, the damage wasn’t that bad.
“Vi.” She said, and then she repeated it frantically, her hands shaking.
“Hey. I’ve got her.” Gert placed a firm hand on her shoulder. Caitlyn looked up and her cheeks were streaked with tears.
Caitlyn sniffed and helped Gert move Vi onto her side. Vi had always been a solid person, loud and commanding. Seeing her devoid of any colour in her face, all of her muscles relaxed was causing bile to rise in the back of Caitlyn’s throat.
“You’re grey.” Lest frowned at Caitlyn.
“Hm?” She said, gagging slightly.
Gert chuckled and rubbed Caitlyn’s back. “Vi’s always done shit like this.”
“Is that supposed to help?” Caitlyn gave a teary laugh.
Margot watched silently, entirely calm. Caitlyn didn’t know if it was settling or unsettling her.
Gert studied Caitlyn’s face, still evidently extremely panicked.
“Here.” Gert said, placing Caitlyn’s fingers on Vi’s wrist. “Feel that? She’s fine.”
She could feel the solid strum of a pulse. She nodded. “Shouldn’t we call someone?”
“And have Vi kill us?” Lest laughed and then her face morphed into something serious. “She hates hospitals. She’s got a good heart, she’d do anything for people she cares about. This… is the result.” She added.
“How sweet of you.” Vi croaked.
Caitlyn gasped in relief, air flooding back into her lungs as she swept Vi’s hair out of her eyes.
“How come no one is that nice to me when I’m conscious?” She frowned.
“You scared us for real this time. Had to be.” Lest said.
“Sounded calm to me.” Vi said. Her voice was dry.
“Had to keep that one calm.” Lest nodded at Caitlyn.
Caitlyn’s jaw dropped. “Dicks.”
“You made Kiramman swear.” Vi grinned, amused. She then winced and moved her free hand up to touch at her upper lip, her fingers came back dotted with blood.
No teeth missing, Caitlyn noted.
Vi’s other hand was intertwined with Caitlyn’s. They had both realised a while ago but had kept them there, unbroken. To Caitlyn’s relief, the warmth she had grown accustomed to had slowly returned to Vi’s hand.
“Alright, I’m getting up.” Vi said.
“What?” Caitlyn asked, alarmed.
“Yeah. I need to put something on this,” she motioned towards the cut on her lip, “...and spit out the blood in my mouth.”
“Okay. Gross.” Margot spoke for the first time.
“I don’t know.” Caitlyn said wearily.
“Just grab my other hand princess.”
She huffed but did as Vi said. Vi used her as leverage to pull herself up until she was sitting. She groaned and rubbed at her temple.
“You good?” Lest asked.
Vi gave a thumbs up, rolling her neck out and flexing the hand she had punched with, which was now bruised.
Caitlyn studied her face intensely, the colour had now returned, freckle spattered cheeks growing pink with the heat from the cut.
“Can you stop looking at me like I’m wounded?” Vi chuckled.
“You are wounded.” Caitlyn answered firmly.
Vi grumbled. “Can you just give me a hand?”
Caitlyn clambered to her feet and extended a hand, hoisting Vi up. She almost went down with her at one point, but planted her feet solidly to help lift Vi’s frame.
Vi swayed slightly, Caitlyn tossed her arm over her shoulders.
“You got her?” Gert asked.
“Yep.” Caitlyn grunted.
The party hadn’t let up for anything. The pounding music wasn’t soothing the pounding in Vi’s head or the pounding in Caitlyn’s chest having Vi close to her like this.
They hobbled their way to the bathroom, Vi regaining strength the further that they went, assisted by the pats on the back and fist bumps from random people in the party. As it turned out, not many people were fans of Deckard.
Caitlyn helped Vi to the bathroom sink before closing the door with a soft click. It muffled the music outside, stilling Caitlyn’s head and heart. She took a deep breath.
Vi ran the cold water and spat blood and saliva into the sink before washing out her mouth. Caitlyn cringed a little at the sight but said nothing. She splashed her face with cold water and Caitlyn passed her a towel, leaning against the counter and peering at her.
“It’s actually not that bad.” Caitlyn said as the water cleared away the excess blood.
“I thought I was wounded.” Vi quipped, blotting at her face with the towel.
“So you did like the attention.” Caitlyn smiled.
“From you? Of course.” She swayed a little bit again.
“Alright Romeo, let’s take a seat.” Caitlyn said as she helped Vi lower herself to the ground in front of the bathroom sink, leaning her back against the cabinets.
Vi grinned and Caitlyn could see now that she was still a little dazed.
She rummaged through the cabinets to no avail. She looked up at the mirror which she noticed was set out from the wall. She ran her fingers underneath it and pulled it towards her. It opened to a medicine cabinet.
Vi looked up. “Rich people.” She mumbled.
Caitlyn raised an eyebrow as she crouched down next to Vi, armed with a damp cloth and paper tape. She dabbed at Vi’s lip gently, tracing the shape of her lips with her eyes.
“You know what you’re doing, princess?”
Caitlyn smiled. “Not really. Just what feels right.”
Vi nodded loosely. “I trust you.” She reached down and ran the hem of Caitlyn’s top between her fingers, grazing Caitlyn’s stomach with the warm skin. “Just had this lying around?”
Caitlyn’s breath hitched in her throat. “Something like that,” she whispered.
“It’s nice.” Vi said.
“I know. You told me. Very loudly.”
“I called you beautiful, not the top. I wasn’t looking at the top.”
Caitlyn looked up to see Vi’s eyes were now studying her intently. She looked back to the cut quickly, closer this time. “It’s the same scar. Split again.”
“Yeah. Not even a new scar to show for my efforts.” Vi swallowed.
Caitlyn watched her throat bob, slightly slick with sweat. “Only you.”
Vi shrugged, she could feel her breath on her face.
Caitlyn’s heart was pounding in her ears. “I’m going to rinse this off and then look at your hand.” She said quickly, going to stand up.
“Stay.” Vi said, resting a hand on Caitlyn’s thigh. It felt like it might burn a hole through her skin.
“Okay.” She breathed out, dropping the cloth next to her.
Vi moved her free hand to Caitlyn’s cheek. Caitlyn instinctively moved into the touch, her chest rapidly rising and falling. Vi ran her thumb along the skin underneath Caitlyn’s eye, over dried up tears swirled with black makeup.
“Are you okay?” Vi frowned.
“Are you really the one to ask me that right now?” Caitlyn smiled.
“That smile.” Vi said. “I dream about that smile.”
"You're drunk and concussed." Caitlyn said after a few beats, like Vi's comment hadn't knocked the wind out of her.
"Drunk words, sober thoughts." Vi shrugged.
Caitlyn gnawed at the inside of her cheek and inched closer to Vi’s face as Vi’s thumb dropped to her lower lip, grazing it lightly. She glanced at Vi’s lips, slightly parted and licked her own. She could hear Vi’s breathing now, over the muffled music that swirled through the bathroom. It was unsteady, shaking with every inhale. The greyest eyes she had ever seen now looked almost black, pupils consuming irises under fluttering eyelashes.
Caitlyn had been moving ever so slowly closer but Vi was the one to close the gap. Her hand moved, running her thumb across Caitlyn’s jawline as her fingers cradled the back of her neck, tangled in soft hair.
They collided softly and Caitlyn was sure from that moment that she might never be able to stop. Gentle kisses swirled with the metallic taste of blood, Vi’s hands roaming through Caitlyn’s hair as Caitlyn’s found Vi’s neck.
Vi reached a hand down to the back of Caitlyn’s thigh and hoisted her across her lap. She winced ever so slightly as Caitlyn's lips pressed into the split in Vi's top lip and Caitlyn backed up, like the sound had branded her. Vi searched Caitlyn’s face and her own broke into a cocky grin.
“You won’t break me.” Her hand slinked around the back of Caitlyn’s neck and pulled her back in.
Vi hummed into her mouth as Caitlyn steadied herself. The kisses grew more desperate, soft moans escaping their lips. Vi lifted one of her legs between Caitlyn’s, she gasped and slid forward. Vi wrapped herself around Caitlyn, like she couldn’t get close enough.
Caitlyn’s fingers slid through the short parts of Vi’s hair, soft and blunt tufts pricking her fingers. Vi’s tongue roamed her mouth like it wasn’t the first time, every lick and nip like a rehearsed dance. She trailed her lips down Caitlyn’s jaw and neck, littering them with open mouthed kisses.
“Vi-” she gasped as the door to the bathroom clicked open and the bathroom was flooded with music.
They both looked up like deers in headlights.
“Glad to see you made a full recovery Vi.” Gert snorted.
Lest giggled next to her and the single flash of a polaroid camera went off.
“Hey!” Vi shouted, swatting them away.
“For the memories!” Lest replied as she pulled the door shut.
Caitlyn stared at Vi before they both burst out laughing. Caitlyn rested her forehead against Vi’s chest, who cradled her back as her chest shook with laughter.
Notes:
AH i loved writing this one soo much
Chapter 8: The Subway
Summary:
Caitlyn and Vi's day out visiting Piltover Uni.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The heat of the summer was truly upon them, trapping the heat in the subway that ran underneath Piltover. The back of Caitlyn’s thigh was sticky with sweat where Vi rested her hand on the skin, the hairs on the nape of her neck slicked down and damp.
She stood between Vi’s knees with her hand on the pole next to her. The car they were in was relatively empty but Caitlyn had insisted on standing up because she liked the feel of the ground moving when it stopped and started.
Vi had tilted her head and squinted one of her eyes at the absurdity of Caitlyn’s reasoning but said nothing, breathing out a laugh through her nose when Caitlyn planted herself in front of her.
It had been two weeks since the party and they had revealed to neither of their families that they were dating, relishing in the privacy of summer days together. Caitlyn wasn’t particularly interested in what her parents had to say anyway, she had played through that conversation a million times in her head over the past two weeks. Every time it ended in disaster. They would go on about the irresponsibility of striking up a relationship right as she began her studies and shake their heads at the fact that it was Vi that Caitlyn was in it for.
So they had spent every single day together, each discovering a new person that they had known for 14 years. Quirks and jokes and habits that had become another language to them.
Caitlyn’s face must’ve mirrored the swirling of thoughts in her mind because she looked down to see concern etched into Vi’s face.
“What are you thinking about?” She grazed the back of Caitlyn’s thigh with her thumb.
Caitlyn’s face split into a smile. She wondered if Vi had always been able to read her this easily, to pick apart her expressions with a single glance. “The subway times.” Caitlyn answered.
“They run all day, we’ll be fine.” Vi reassured her.
Caitlyn already knew that. “Yeah, you’re right.”
The car came to a stop more suddenly than Caitlyn had anticipated and she swayed, her feet shuffling to accommodate the sudden movement.
Vi gripped onto her more firmly and chuckled as Caitlyn recovered her stance. “You enjoy that, huh?”
Caitlyn’s already flushed face turned a deep red.
“This is our stop.” Vi said when the car stopped the next time.
They had decided to go to one of the earlier open days for Piltover University. Caitlyn was well versed in the campus, having helped Jayce move into his apartment on campus and hearing many stories from him whenever he came down to visit, but excitement had bubbled over at the prospect of being at the same university as Vi.
Caitlyn’s dress was a charcoal grey number, high necked and sleeveless, paired with black loafers. Something she had learnt about Vi over the summer so far was her affinity for band t-shirts, today’s shirt being paired with baggy jorts and low sneakers. She wasn’t even certain it was possible for someone to listen to so many bands.
She was reading a few of the tour dates on the back of the shirt when she looked down to see Vi’s hand grabbing at the air behind her, impatiently waiting for Caitlyn’s. She picked up her pace until her hand folded into Vi’s. She allowed herself to be led to the subway exit.
“Do you go to many concerts?” Caitlyn asked, reading the dates that were in Piltover.
Vi glanced back at Caitlyn with a glint in her eyes. “Whenever I can. They aren’t cheap.”
Caitlyn hummed in response.
“You?” Vi asked.
Caitlyn pressed her lips into a thin line.
“What?” Vi laughed.
“You’re going to hate me.”
“Never.” Vi said.
Caitlyn smiled. “I don’t really listen to music.”
Vi stopped walking and Caitlyn slammed into the back of her, eyes trained on what she swore to be a rat run out of a vent.
Caitlyn looked at Vi with wide eyes, a small smile pulling at one side of her mouth, bracing for what was coming.
“You don’t… listen to music?” She asked, exasperated.
Caitlyn leapt into defense. “Well, I did for ballet but that was more classical and then I’ve been to the opera and theatre growing up.”
“None of that counts.” Vi shook her head.
Caitlyn arched an eyebrow. “And a bunch of men who don’t know how to play their instruments do?”
She had accepted that some things would never change between them. One of them being the occasional mindless bickering.
“You’ve gone too far.” Vi began digging around in one of her pockets.
“What are you doing?” Caitlyn frowned.
“Changing your life.” She fished out a bulky MP3 player, bright red, and a tangled pair of earbuds.
“Is this life changing technology?” Caitlyn jabbed.
Vi didn’t reply, just fiddled with the earbuds until they came undone, staring at them intently. Caitlyn watched with her arms folded, amused.
“Here.” Vi speared her fingers into Caitlyn's hair to push it behind her ear, tips of fingers lingering on Caitlyn’s skin.
Vi had marvelled at the feel of Caitlyn’s hair that night. “How come you never told me how soft it was?” She had said in a drunken slur of words.
She gently held the earbud to her ear and let Caitlyn adjust it.
“Good?”
Caitlyn nodded, a little breathless. Glimpses of affection passed between them easily now, but they still caught her breath in her throat and sent her head spinning.
Vi put her own earbud in and pressed play.
It was life changing.
Pounding drums and gritty bass guitar provided the backing track to their day out, running around a campus that was soon to be theirs.
The Piltover University campus sprawled its way through the city, a clash of modern and old buildings. Sheets of glass sat next to elaborate stone pillars and yet none of it felt out of place. Vi felt at home in a similar way. There were more splashes of greenery than she had expected to find in a city campus but here they were, in a lush garden looking up at a bronze statue of the university’s founder. A balding man, resting his chin thoughtfully on the palm of his hand, in a jacket with fancy lapels.
Caitlyn had brought her digital camera to take photos of parts of campus she hadn’t found online but really Vi had abused it to document Caitlyn. Photos of her on the subway, a closed mouth smile under the glow of the strip lights and then a display of all her teeth in a grin at the entrance to Piltover Law.
“Here.” Vi held out a hand for Caitlyn’s earbud.
Caitlyn obliged hesitantly, knowing another photo was coming.
“Copy his pose.” Vi nodded to the statue.
Caitlyn was already embarrassed. “No!”
“Come on. Just quick. These are the memories you want to keep!” Vi said in mock enthusiasm.
Caitlyn huffed. She gave Vi a ‘you owe me’ look before leaning against the base of the statue. She was laughing at herself, resting her chin on her palm and then breaking the pose to laugh again, covering her hands with her face in embarrassment.
Vi laughed at her and captured the entire ordeal. “Beautiful.” She said.
Caitlyn ran over and peered over Vi’s shoulder at the photos as she flicked through them. “Awful. What about a photo of the photographer?”
Vi shook her head immediately. “No way.”
Caitlyn was fast, faster than Vi. She had her hands on the camera before Vi even realised.
“Come on. Just quick.” She parroted Vi while squinting through the viewfinder.
Vi dropped her arms in defeat, staring at the camera with an unamused expression.
“Just try smiling.” Caitlyn said.
The click of the camera sounded out, barely audible over the people in the park.
“Perfect.”
They found themselves on a park bench under the late afternoon sun, the same music drilling through them. Caitlyn rested her head in Vi’s lap, staring up at the sunbeams filtering through the trees. Vi’s arm rested across Caitlyn’s chest, rubbing her exposed shoulder with her thumb.
“Can you believe this will be ours in a few months?” She asked Vi.
“Does the university board know that?” Vi asked.
Caitlyn laughed. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” Vi admitted. “And I can. It feels right.”
Caitlyn hummed. “This is what I’ve wanted for so long, but now I can’t imagine you not being here with me.”
Vi smiled but shook her head. “You’d make it no matter what.”
“I don’t know. Who would be there to humble me and show me music?”
Vi’s jaw went slack for a moment. “Those are my roles in your life?”
Caitlyn grinned. “I think I’ve summed it up.”
“They are vitally important roles.” Vi shrugged.
They fell into the lull of comfortable silence, listening to chatter and laughter around them. Caitlyn had closed her eyes, the sun still filtering slightly through her eyelids.
“Speaking of music…” Vi finally said.
Caitlyn’s eyes fluttered open. “Yes?”
“There’s a venue nearby that I like, live music every night.”
Caitlyn smiled. “And?”
“And,” Vi shifted a little in her seat, “would you like to come with me tonight?”
“I would love to.” Caitlyn said, picking up Vi’s hand from her shoulder and brushing her lips against her knuckles.
She answered with confidence but internally the nerves crept in, she had never been to such a place, loud and crowded and not like at a party where she knew everyone.
“Hey,” Vi said, “it’ll be fun, trust me.”
Caitlyn sighed happily and sat up. “I trust you. Also, since we’ve got time to kill now, we could go to Jayce’s apartment?”
“Jayce.” Vi repeated, tossing his name around in her mouth.
She was familiar, valedictorian two years ago, she had certainly made a few comments to Caitlyn about her lack of friends that were her own age after seeing them walk into school together.
Caitlyn stifled a laugh. “I know you don’t like him but you’ve got to give him a chance.”
“I never said I didn’t like him.” Vi said.
“Your face said it.” Caitlyn quipped.
Vi was convinced Caitlyn was one of a kind. She had found the good in something her family had been conditioned to avoid and she was certain this was where the supply ended.
“If I’m coming to that bar then you can suffer through meeting one of my closest friends.” Caitlyn concluded, her face stern as she awaited Vi’s response.
Vi squirmed a little under her gaze before succumbing to it. “Fine.”
Jayce was tall, a lot taller than Caitlyn who looked up at him like a proud little sister. It occurred to Vi that he was family to her in the way that families should be, warm and loving and annoying as he ruffled her hair. Her heart twinged at the realization that she hadn’t seen Caitlyn be around family, it was no longer puzzling why she had such a sense of urgency to get out of their hometown. Where Vi’s scholarship provided her with an opportunity, Caitlyn’s acceptance provided her with a lifeline.
Caitlyn stepped aside in the entrance hall to the apartment. “This is Vi. My girlfriend.”
Jayce’s eyebrows shot up in surprise but he extended a hand to Vi. She took it and her eyebrows shot up in a similar fashion at the size of his hand.
“I remember you,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “you used to write papers for my friend in exchange for car parts, his dad was a mechanic.”
“Ah.” Vi scratched the back of her neck. “I recall.”
“I didn’t know that.” Caitlyn said, giving Vi a playful nudge.
“Not my proudest moment.” Vi said.
“I admire the hustle.” Jayce clarified.
Vi gave him a loose nod.
“Vi is going to PU as well.” Caitlyn said proudly. “Mechanical engineering.”
Jayce let out a low whistle. Vi wasn’t sure whether she was pleased or irritated by his surprise.
“The hard yards.” He said.
Vi hummed. She wasn’t quite sure yet on where she stood with Jayce, on the kind of person he was.
“Nice place.” She said, peering past his shoulders.
It wasn’t university accommodation, but it was practically on campus with the way the campus trawled through the city. It was a lot nicer than university accommodation, the top floor of the building and it covered the majority of it. Overly modern in Vi’s opinion, white marble and polished concrete across most of the surfaces. It lacked life.
“Thanks.” Jayce said. “So what are you guys doing here?”
“We came for the open day today and decided to hang around to see some live music later, one of Vi’s favourite places.” Caitlyn beamed at Vi, it made her chest feel funny.
“Nice.” Jayce nodded. “Well, come in. I’ll get Street Fighter up and running.”
Caitlyn floated past them, taking her rightful spot on the overly large grey couch.
“We’re about to get obliterated.” Jayce mumbled out of the corner of his mouth.
“Don’t I know it.” Vi replied.
She did exactly that. Mopping the floor with Jayce and Vi for the entire afternoon.
Vi would occasionally reach over in the middle of a match and mess with Caitlyn’s controller, she’d grumble and jerk away from Vi.
“Sore loser.” She mumbled, eyes still focused on the screen.
Vi still kept some of her dignity intact by winning against Jayce who sucked a lot more than she did.
“Come on old man.” Vi jeered from the other side of the couch.
Jayce flipped her off in response.
“Two hands on the controller.” Vi smirked.
She liked making fun of Jayce and she could tell it was making Caitlyn happy to see them getting along, a win-win situation.
“Alright.” Caitlyn clapped her hands together. A habit Vi had noticed she had picked up since they started dating, she smiled fondly.
“You’re satisfied?” Vi asked with a deadpan expression.
“Yep.” Caitlyn said. “Oh, Jayce. You have to show Vi your office.”
“I do?” Jayce asked, clearly comfortable on the couch.
Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “So she doesn’t think you’re a serial killer due to the lack of colour in here.”
“Lack of colour?” Jayce asked sarcastically, looking around at the grayscale apartment.
Caitlyn gave him a look.
“Fine.” He said.
The room made the rest of the apartment look like a psychiatric ward, bursting at the seams with life. Caitlyn had described it as an office but it was almost closer to a lab.
Bookshelves lined every wall, crammed with colourful spines, embossed with gold lettering. Bottles of strange liquids and crystals crowded every available surface and there was paper littered with various sketches and notes all over, most of them outlining some kind of flower.
“What is all of this?” Vi asked, her eyes scanning the room.
Jayce stood at the doorway. “You don’t realise how severe the air pollution in a city is until you’re constantly making the jump from a rural town. I’m trying to create some kind of a hybrid plant that feeds off of the pollution.” He scratched his head in thought. “Easier said than done.”
“Huh.” Vi said in fascination, peering at a yellow flower through its glass case. “Sick. Didn’t strike me as the type to give a shit about this stuff, pretty boy.”
“I’m… flattered?” Jayce said hesitantly.
Caitlyn snorted.
Vi looked at a clock on the wall. “We should probably get going.” She said to Caitlyn.
“Okay.” Caitlyn nodded.
They said their goodbyes, Jayce shaking Vi’s hand with both of his now.
She waited at the door for Caitlyn who hugged Jayce.
“I like her.” He mumbled in her ear.
She grinned. “Me too.”
“No drinking! No drugs!” He yelled out from the door as they walked away.
“Yeah, yeah.” Vi said, faking annoyance.
Caitlyn was like a magnet, wrapped around Vi’s arm as they made their way through the city. It was coming alive for the night, the sun setting late in the summer evening and giving way to the city lights. It gave them both relief from the heat that had plagued them all day.
Vi watched as Caitlyn looked around, taking it all in, her hair flicking at her face in the light breeze. “It’s so beautiful.”
“It is.” Vi agreed, keeping her eyes on Caitlyn.
Caitlyn looked at Vi and raised an eyebrow.
“What?” Vi was already smiling.
“If only people knew that you’re just a big softie.” Caitlyn sighed happily.
“Am not.” Vi said defensively.
“You so are.” She lilted.
“For you, maybe.”
“Uh-huh.” Caitlyn mumbled into the soft kiss Vi planted on her lips, she squealed as she tipped her back slightly, now attacking her face with affection.
The sun had truly set by the time they got there. The bar was unassuming from the outside, blending in with other buildings. Caitlyn noticed small windows close to the ground where coloured lights were flashing, casting a glow on the pavement. She silently clicked in her mind that the establishment was underground.
“Jayce had a point.” Vi said.
“Hm?” Caitlyn said.
“There are no stars here.” She looked up and Caitlyn followed suit.
They both peered at an empty sky, it made Caitlyn’s heart sink a little bit.
“That’s so weird to look at.” Caitlyn said.
“Makes you realise how far we are from home.” Vi was thinking out loud.
Caitlyn smiled before stopping dead in her tracks, Vi took a few steps without her before turning around and frowning. “We aren’t 21.” She said fearfully.
Vi chuckled. “They don’t usually ID at this place and Vander knows the owner. You think I haven’t thought of everything?”
Caitlyn ignored her question with a subtle roll of the eyes. “How does your dad know the owner?”
“He used to be a bartender in the city before everything happened. He moved for us, said it suited him more than the city anyway.” Vi smiled at the recollection of memories, some sadness laced through it.
She had never gone massively into detail about her parents dying. To Caitlyn’s understanding it had been a fire, a great tragedy, but she never pried for more details.
They got in line, Caitlyn was jittery with nerves. Vi rubbed the back of her hand with her thumb. “We’ve got to get some alcohol in you.”
“I don’t drink.” Caitlyn said.
“Wait… you were sober that night?” Vi asked.
“Stone cold.” Caitlyn grinned. “How gone were you that you thought I was drunk?”
“Very.” Vi bared her teeth in a smile. “Fuck. Was my drunk kissing okay then?”
“Last time I checked you’re my girlfriend. I think it was fine.”
Vi’s cheeks glowed pink, it was dark enough that only she knew.
They reached the front of the line. The bouncer narrowed his eyes as they landed on them.
Caitlyn swallowed.
Vi stepped further into the light over the door.
The bouncer’s eyes softened. “Vi.” He nodded.
She nodded back. “Good to see you man.”
Caitlyn watched the interaction in shock.
He stepped aside to allow them to pass. Vi placed her hand on the small of Caitlyn’s back and guided her inside. It was moments of contact like this that made Caitlyn want to ditch their plans altogether. Alas, her attention drifted to the establishment as they walked down a set of stairs, music thrumming through her head. She could’ve sworn they had listened to the exact song during the day, just a much tinnier version through Vi’s earbuds.
The room was large, a bar and booths to their right, a stage and dancefloor to their left, packed to the brim with people. It had a very Vi feeling to it, vintage posters, number plates and records lined the walls and even the ceiling. The booths were upholstered with red leather and the bar looked like they had just stepped back into the 80s. It was dark and loud and everything that Caitlyn usually hated and she didn’t know if it was the city they were in or that she was in it with Vi but she could already feel herself learning to love it.
Vi loved the way that Caitlyn’s eyes scanned every room she walked into, like there were no details that were unworthy of being noticed.
“Nice, right?” Vi yelled over the music.
Caitlyn nodded.
“Come on.” Vi didn’t release her hand as they forged their way through the sea of people to the bar, it was warm and grounding. Caitlyn had grown familiar with the roughness of Vi’s palm, the calluses that lined the top of it. “Benzo!” Vi yelled over the bar, snapping Caitlyn out of her daydream.
A large man turned around and locked his eyes on Vi before his face broke into a wide grin, his round cheeks shining under the glow of the bar lights. “Is that a Lanes, I see?” He said excitedly in a thick accent before making his way around the bar and giving Vi a hug that Caitlyn was sure would snap her into two pieces.
“To what do I owe the honour?” He asked.
“I’m studying here next year so get used to seeing more of me.” Vi said.
“Tell your old man to get up here sometime as well.” Benzo chuckled.
“I will, I will.” Vi said. “Oh! This is my girlfriend, Caitlyn.”
My girlfriend.
“Nice to meet you.” Caitlyn said.
Benzo’s grin broadened. “Pleasure to meet you Caitlyn.”
He walked back around the bar and got out two glasses, pouring something Caitlyn couldn’t identify having never had alcohol touch her lips.
He placed a glass in front of Vi and the other in front of Caitlyn.
“Oh. She doesn’t-” Vi started.
“It’s fine.” Caitlyn rested a hand on her arm. “I’ll try it.”
Vi’s eyes widened. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” Caitlyn smiled.
Two drinks later and Caitlyn was practically blind.
“Another!” She exclaimed, slamming her glass down on the bar top.
Vi made a ‘no’ motion with her hand, waving it from side to side below her chin.
Benzo nodded in acknowledgement, pouring a glass of water and placing it in front of her.
Caitlyn was indifferent to it, gulping down the liquid.
Vi watched her, highly amused.
“Come on!” Caitlyn yelled.
“Yeah, okay.” Vi laughed, not anticipating Caitlyn to be functional enough to do anything.
That was before her arm was practically yanked out of its socket by Caitlyn who had jumped out of her seat.
She swayed a little bit as she dragged Vi away, she could hear Benzo yelling behind her. “Good luck!”
She gave him a two finger salute before submitting to the force of Caitlyn.
And she dazzled.
Vi had a tendency to forget that she could actually dance since she often moved awkwardly through the world but in her dazed state she still managed to find some rhythm, twirling as she held onto Vi’s hand.
People looked at her, stared even, but she was oblivious, flashing Vi a crooked gap-toothed smile.
They stayed like this for a while, lost in the crowd, Vi in that floaty state that alcohol provides where all emotions are subdued except for the awe that persevered in response to Caitlyn.
Caitlyn who now had a funny look on her face and Vi was sure had not turned that green during the last cycle of club light colours.
“Oh, fuck.” Vi half chuckled and half sighed, taking Caitlyn by the hand and rushing her through the crowd.
Their timing was impeccable, bile escaping Caitlyn’s throat as soon as the night air hit them. Vi winced as it hit the pavement, sweeping Caitlyn’s hair back and out of her face.
“Two drinks has to be a record.” Vi said as Caitlyn’s back shuddered at the taste lingering in her mouth.
To Vi’s surprise, Caitlyn laughed lightly.
A member of security rushed over with a bottle of water and a wad of napkins.
“Is she okay?” They asked Vi quietly.
“She’s fine.” Caitlyn responded, still doubled over.
“Lightweight.” Vi whispered.
They nodded and smiled before leaving.
Caitlyn waved her hand out behind her, trying to land a hit on Vi that she barely dodged.
“You never told me you had bionic hearing.” Vi said.
Caitlyn straightened up to take the bottle of water, Vi released her hair. “For your insults, I do.”
“Ah.” Vi nodded. Caitlyn still looked so beautiful even now with the contents of her stomach at her feet.
Caitlyn took a sip and sighed happily. “You know, it’s not how I thought your first time pulling my hair would go.”
If Vi was the one drinking water, it would’ve just sprayed out of her mouth. Instead her body went slightly rigid and her face went hot. “Alcohol making you brave, huh?” She jested, her voice a little higher pitched than intended.
Caitlyn shrugged. “I don’t know, I think it’s worn off a little.”
“Hm.” Vi nodded shyly.
They made the 4 hour trek home, a walk, followed by a few subways, followed by a train, until they arrived at Vi’s house, standing on the footpath in triumph. They slumped their way inside, worn with exhaustion but giggling at every creak of a floorboard or rattle of a door handle.
“I’m starving.” Caitlyn whispered.
“I can imagine since your lunch is on the sidewalk.” Vi replied.
Caitlyn snorted.
“Shh.” Vi said, smiling. “Come on.”
They tiptoed into the kitchen, Vi hitting her hip on the bench in the dark and silently crying out in pain. She softly opened the fridge and to Caitlyn it felt as though the gates of heaven were opening.
In the glow of the refrigerator light that illuminated their faces were some haphazardly made cupcakes that had been whipped up by Vander for Powder’s school bake sale.
Vi felt a slight pang of guilt at indulging in the cupcakes but she turned her head slightly to see Caitlyn practically drooling.
“I’m sure one wouldn’t hurt.” Vi mumbled.
Caitlyn housed down three.
Vi watched her with wide eyes. “Jesus.” She breathed out.
“What?” Caitlyn asked, blue icing on the tip of her nose.
Vi shook her head and wiped the icing away. “Nothing. Glad you’re feeling better.”
The ache in their bodies left no room for getting ready to sleep. They simply collapsed into Vi’s bed, careful to not wake Powder. Caitlyn tucked into Vi’s side as they drifted into an immediate sleep.
Caitlyn had been in Vi’s bed plenty of times but she was yet to sleep over and nothing felt unnatural about it. In fact it was the best sleep Vi had had in a long time and she was certain that it wasn’t the day of travelling or the alcohol that caused it.
Vi hissed at the curtains over the small window in her room being pulled back, allowing sunlight to stream into the room. She knew instantly that Powder was just doing it to be a brat because she typically enjoyed living in darkness.
She chuckled menacingly as she did. “Rise and shine- what the fuck?”
Caitlyn’s face was tucked into the crook of Vi’s neck as she groaned at the light, a leg and an arm tossed over her.
Powder’s shock dissipated as fast as it had arrived, the puzzle pieces clicking in her head. “Lesbians.” She mumbled before leaving the room.
Vi palmed her face before dropping it to her side in defeat. "Morning cupcake." She grinned.
"Cupcake?" Caitlyn asked groggily before her eyes snapped to Vi's in realisation. "Shit." She laughed, burying her face into Vi's chest.
Notes:
title of course from the chappell song which could be a potential clue as to what happens laterrrr. who said that?
hope u enjoyed! i had a bit of writers block with this one so it took a bit longer but also i was writing future chapters so u can expect those a bit quicker.
i've also determined that i love adding the nickname cupcake in a stupid silly cutesy way since it comes out of literally nowhere in the show
Chapter 9: For a Moment
Summary:
The end of summer is here.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Mylo had copped the blame for the missing cupcakes the next morning at breakfast, on top of Vi rubbing it in his face that seniors were already finished with the school year.
“You need the extra days,” Vi said, “you’re as stupid as a bag of bricks.”
“That’s enough of that, Vi.” Vander grumbled, a slight smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.
Mylo pierced the pancake in front of him with his fork in a rather aggressive manner, the thud echoing in the room. Vi looked up to see him staring straight through her.
It seemed that it had come as a surprise to no one that Vi and Caitlyn were dating, it was simply a withholding of information that was already known.
Caitlyn who – despite the events of last night – had woken up without a single hair out of place, changed into a tracksuit and was now happily sitting next to Vi, watching the happenings of the breakfast table like it was a movie. Meanwhile, Vi’s hair was at war with itself, which Caitlyn secretly loved because it meant she did at least put a smidge of effort in for school because she had never seen it in such a state.
Her eyes drifted to Powder and fell a little, she was pushing her pancake around with her fork as maple syrup soaked through it, turning it into inedible slop.
Everyone moved around her, not like they were ignoring her but like they were cautious of her, like it would only take one small misstep to catalyse a big reaction.
She was taken out of her observing by Vi banging the table in an attempt to hold back her laughter and keep in her mouthful of food, a drip of maple syrup on her chin. She looked across the table to see the entertainment was Mylo who had clearly snorted orange juice through his straw and up his nose and was now fanning it rapidly, tears in his eyes.
Claggor rolled his eyes and Vander clapped Mylo on the back, though it was unclear whether the force was an attempt to aid Mylo or make things worse, as he spluttered and coughed.
The shock on Caitlyn’s face must have been evident because when Vander caught her eye, he gave her a single nod and knowing smile, giving her permission to laugh.
She smiled at him.
“One week.” Caitlyn said wistfully.
They were at the lookout that was positioned on the outskirts of Zaun, behind the summit was farm land but in front of them their whole town was laid out, houses as tiny as ants.
The summer had rushed by, swept them off their feet and into a whirlwind of love and now they sat at the end of it. But there was no sadness that had nestled itself in Caitlyn’s heart for this was the end of the summer but the beginning of them.
“One week.” Vi repeated.
“Will you miss them?” Caitlyn asked, cerulean eyes watching a flock of birds ascend into the trees behind them, settling in before the sun set. Vi knew she was referring to her family.
She hesitated to answer for a moment, debating whether it was kind to tell the girl who had no one to miss that she was already feeling an ache in her body from missing her family. “A lot.” She finally admitted. “I feel like I already do.” Her voice shook in the slightest way, she rubbed her nose with her sleeve and sniffed.
Caitlyn prodded her with her shoulder gently. “We’ll visit all the time.”
“We will?” Vi cocked her head in disbelief.
“Mhm. You see, getting to know your family has actually come at a great inconvenience to me because I think they’re the only people I’d come back for.”
Vi snorted. “Oh yeah, they’re really annoying.”
They sat in peaceful silence, listening to the whirrings of their hometown that had lulled them to sleep for 18 years. The sun was yet to fully set but the streetlights came on in a beautiful grid and the houses became more distinguishable from each other.
“Jesus, Cupcake, your house is lit up like a fucking Christmas tree.” Vi pointed out to it and Caitlyn tried following her finger.
“I don’t see it.” Caitlyn squinted in the same direction.
Vi reached up and held Caitlyn’s chin between her thumb and index finger, tilting her head down and to the left.
Caitlyn swallowed upon contact. “I see it.” She muttered.
Vi smirked before turning Caitlyn’s face to hers and brushing her lower lip with her thumb, parting them to accommodate Vi’s. She kissed her long and slow, savouring every moment, mildly turned on by Caitlyn wearing her hoodie that she had handed over as the temperature continued to drop the further they made their way up to the summit.
They had both talked a lot of game about having sex over the summer, egotistical comments scattered through moments of affectionate bickering. But it had ultimately equated to neither of them having the confidence to make the first move. Shy giggles instead lilting out of their throats whenever things started to feel serious. It was abundantly obvious that they both wanted to, it was just a matter of when.
Caitlyn pulled away and had that expression on her face that had started to show around the third week of their relationship but Vi hadn’t quite been able to place what it was. Something intense and enigmatic.
“What?” She asked Caitlyn, her hand still lingering on her cheek.
“I love you.” Caitlyn breathed out.
Vi sighed a little in relief, her shoulders melting into the affection of Caitlyn’s voice. “That’s what that face was for?” She asked.
“What face?” Caitlyn frowned. Her cheeks started to turn pink and she fidgeted with the drawstring hanging from her hood. “You don’t have to-”
“I love you Cait.”
She smiled to herself. “Good.” Her eyes snapped back to Vi’s. “It feels like I’m gaining a new nickname every day.”
“Do you not like it?” Vi played with a piece of Caitlyn’s hair.
“No, I do. Really.”
“Good.”
The words had been exchanged like they had always been innately there, lingering under the surface, waiting for credence to emerge from all of their distaste for each other and open the door to what was always meant to be.
But just because it was a rite of passage didn’t mean Vi took it lightly, for heart was on a thunderous rampage through her chest, pounding inconsolably. She kept her hand on Caitlyn’s face because if she removed it she was sure that her fingers would be uncontrollably shaking.
Like she had heard her internal battle, Caitlyn rested her hand over Vi’s before taking it from her face and cradling it between both of hers in her lap.
She had felt the tremors gently against the skin of her cheek and her chest had cooed at the feeling, an insatiable need to comfort Vi overcoming her.
“Do you ever wish we had reached this point earlier?” Vi asked her.
“You mean… stopped angling for each other’s throats?”
“One way to put it.” Vi said.
Caitlyn considered her response. “I don’t know, this feels pretty perfect.”
“Yeah?” Vi said, a hopeful tinge to her voice.
“Yes.” Caitlyn nodded.
Vi leaned forward and kissed Caitlyn’s forehead softly. Caitlyn rested her head on Vi’s shoulder as the last glimpses of sun disappeared beyond the horizon.
“So I know our housing will be close together anyway but I was thinking we could each have a drawer at the other’s place and a toothbrush and everything, so we never have to pack a bag.” Caitlyn rambled, thinking out loud.
Vi laughed, it was rich and sweet and Caitlyn’s head bobbed with the movement.
“What?” She whined.
“You really think we won’t just move in together as soon as we get the chance?” Vi asked, still laughing.
Caitlyn huffed but joined Vi in laughter. “I thought we should at least feign our independence for a while.”
“No point in lying to ourselves.” Vi said.
Caitlyn sighed. “You’re probably right.”
Their little talks about what the next year will bring had been one of Caitlyn’s favourite parts of the summer, promising a future to her that she was previously too afraid to conjure up in dreams, like she was somehow undeserving of it.
Something she had noticed about Vi was that her eyes were so light that they often shifted colour drastically depending on where they were or what time of day it was. She had watched them shift from an icy grey to a stormy blue as the sun set and there was something captivating about it.
They were now reflecting the glow of the streetlights as they walked back to Vi’s house, hand in hand.
This was really their last night before preparation for university would be truly underway, and although they both knew they were going together, they liked the simplicity of existing the way they did, in the town they both knew like the back of their hand, like it had been waiting so patiently for them all this time. It felt even more like home now.
Caitlyn often found her cheeks aching from smiling, the sheer quantity of grins being something her body was not accustomed to. She had found her ears waterlogged from days at the lake on the outskirts of town where Vi had dunked her into the water. She found little knicks and tears in her jeans and shorts from the abandoned railway station they had frequented.
When she was home without Vi, those days were where her mind drifted.
Watching the peace of the glistening water be decimated by Vi launching herself off of the tire swing that had been strung from a low hanging tree over the lake. Listening to the screams of terror and glee from their friends caught in the splash zone.
Caitlyn’s own squeals from continuously missing the chance to drop from the tire swing, irrational fear freezing her body as Vi yelled out aggressive encouragement. It always resulted in a very anticlimactic and gentle descent to the water once the swing stopped moving.
Her fingers tangled through Vi’s wet hair as she wrapped her legs around her waist in the water, eliciting a gagging noise from Gert on the river bank. Caitlyn could feel Vi smile against her lips.
“Hey!” Gert protested and Caitlyn broke the kiss to see Vi wordlessly flashing Gert the middle finger, supporting Caitlyn with one hand.
“You’ve probably got 7 more pairs of those at home.” Vi said when one knee of Caitlyn’s jeans snagged on a destroyed section of wire fence. Caitlyn sighed but didn’t deny the accusation, accepting Vi’s hand to lead her the rest of the way through.
They spent many nights under the stars at the railway station, Vi giving Caitlyn a tour of all of her favourite graffiti and always denying the possibility that any of it could be hers.
Caitlyn had tilted her head at the giant VI that was scrawled across the side of one of the carriages and then raised her eyebrows at Vi.
Vi held up her hands in defense. “Coincidence.” She winked at Caitlyn.
“It’s definitely… inspired.” Caitlyn said as Vi grabbed her arm to show her the next piece of work.
They were now about a block away from Vi’s house when Caitlyn could no longer ignore the burning in her calves. Her body had made it incredibly clear to her that it wasn’t handling quitting ballet well. Those aches that previously had only made themselves known when she overdid it now hung around, protesting a lack of movement. As a result, Vi had called her ‘grandma’ a few too many times for Caitlyn’s liking.
“My legs are killing me.” She huffed, dragging her shoes along the pavement.
“Poor baby.” Vi pouted.
Caitlyn gave her a stern look.
Vi sucked in a breath. “Right.”
To Caitlyn’s relief, Vi cut in front of her and planted her feet, waiting for Caitlyn to climb onto her back.
“Come on.” Vi said.
“Are you sure?” Caitlyn said, knowing she wasn’t going to pass up the offer no matter what the answer was.
“I’m sure.” Vi laughed, seeing right through her antics.
Caitlyn clambered on rather ungracefully, undershooting a little bit and screaming as Vi hoisted her up with ease.
“Relax! You’re going to choke me!” Vi yelled, which made Caitlyn hyper aware of how tight her grip was around Vi’s neck. She loosened it up a little bit, relishing in the feeling of Vi’s back supporting her weight and settled into the position.
“Sorry.” She said quietly, giving Vi a quick kiss on the cheek.
“You’re forgiven.” Vi said, Caitlyn could hear the smile in her voice.
She carried her home under the streetlights. Caitlyn pointed out some constellations, since realising that she would barely be able to see any in Piltover she had grown to appreciate them so much more. Vi nodded along, listening intently.
She carried her up the stairs to the front porch, pretending to lose her balance at the 2nd step and teetering backwards a little bit, earning a slap on the shoulder from Caitlyn.
Vi handed her the house key and leaned forward to allow for a giggling Caitlyn to unlock the door and kick it open with her foot.
“You can put me down now.” Caitlyn said.
“Thank fuck.” Vi muttered, a mischievous grin on her face, already bracing for another hit.
“I hate you.” Caitlyn smiled.
“Last time I checked you loved me.” Vi said in a singsong voice, wrapping her arms around Caitlyn’s waist and trailing enthusiastic kisses up her neck and to her lips.
It was just Powder who was home, made apparent by the rock music that was just about rattling the walls of the bathroom, a nightly occurrence. Nobody even fought her for the bathroom time. Vander had taken the boys to see a local baseball game, an end of summer treat before Claggor entered his last year of high school, Mylo his second last.
Caitlyn’s parents were away on business so her overnight bag had sat next to Vi’s bed for 3 nights. Vi loved the way that she had made herself comfortable, walking into Vi’s room and kicking her shoes off before pulling out her laptop and sitting on Vi’s bed with it.
“What are you doing?” Vi leaned on the doorframe.
Caitlyn finished typing something before looking up. “I’m looking at the restaurants around the city, Jayce has told me good things.”
Vi smiled. “You’re cute.”
“Well, we have many date nights ahead of us so we’ve got to be prepared.” Caitlyn beamed.
“Oh, of course.” Vi said.
“Come on.” Caitlyn said, patting the bed next to her.
“I will, I’ve just gotta pee.” Vi said, turning around to face the blaring music.
Caitlyn nodded, her eyes returning to the screen.
Vi banged on the bathroom door. She wouldn’t typically take such an aggressive approach but otherwise her pleas wouldn’t be heard. “Powder? Can you hurry up?” She yelled.
There was no response, only the insistent pounding of the music.
Vi sighed and turned back to her bedroom. “She won’t be too long.”
She plopped down behind Caitlyn, one leg on either side of her girlfriend and wrapped herself around her, peering over her shoulder at the screen.
They got lost in their search for restaurants, compiling a list of all of the ones they wanted to visit. It drifted into bars and nightclubs, Caitlyn’s adventurous side making an appearance.
“Look at this one.” She said excitedly, jabbing a finger at the screen.
Vi shook her head. “Been. Shit music. Too much pop.”
Caitlyn sighed dramatically, leaning back into Vi’s chest. “Since you’re the expert.” She teased.
“I am.” Vi rested her chin on Caitlyn’s head, inhaling the smell of her hair.
Just then, Powder’s CD finished. The click of the CD player could be heard followed by the whirring of the still spinning disc.
“Finally.” Vi groaned, peeling herself off of Caitlyn and giving her a final kiss.
Caitlyn kept going with her research.
Vi knocked on the door. “Pow. Time’s up.”
There was no answer.
Vi knocked harder. “Did you fall asleep taking a shit or something?”
There wasn’t a single noise that could be heard other than the humming of the CD player.
She frowned, pressing her ear against the door. “Powder? This isn’t funny.”
Caitlyn looked up, suddenly aware of the shift in Vi’s voice.
“Powder!” She yelled for a final time. “Okay. I’m coming in.”
Caitlyn heard the door click open and figured Powder was just playing some kind of a prank, or was too absorbed in whatever she was doing.
That was until Vi’s ear splitting scream reached her ears and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as her body shuddered in response. It was the kind of sound that somebody never gets out of their system. It would come to follow her in night terrors and moments of daydreaming, looking out of car windows. It wasn’t the kind of scream that is evoked by an innocent joke but something guttural that comes from a place of terror. Something that immediately made her fear that their lives would never be the same.
Notes:
:)
apologies in advance
i was listening to no choir by florence and the machine a lot while writing this one so that is where the title is from! listen if u haven't!
and if tomorrow it's all over
at least we had it for a momentthank youuu bye
Chapter 10: I'll Watch
Summary:
Sometimes things don't go to plan.
Notes:
trigger warning!!
this chapter details a suicide attempt. there is nothing extremely graphic but still some confronting words and imagery. if you don't wish to read any of this, please skip to the SECOND horizontal line text break. you won't miss out on any major plot development and after that the attempt is only alluded to. take care <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Caitlyn moved as quickly as she could but it felt like the entire world had slowed down and was mocking her futile attempt at speed. The hallway was spinning and Vi’s scream was still ringing in her ears, she didn’t know if it was still going or just echoing through her mind.
She compared it to the feeling of alcohol seeping into her blood and mutating the world before her, slowing it down and intensifying it as it pleased.
Nausea flared her nostrils when she reached the door of the bathroom. Under sickly yellow light was bath water stained with crimson that billowed through it, Powder’s limp body submerged from the neck down.
Vi’s arms were shoulder deep in the water, cooing to Powder as she pulled the plug and hoisted her body up and out of the water, Powder’s drenched clothes dripping all over the tile floor.
“You’re okay. You’re okay.” She repeated, barely a whisper as she sunk to the floor with her sister in her arms.
When her eyes met Caitlyn’s, she was unrecognizable. Grey in the face with aggressively red eyes, bloodshot and glistening with tears.
“Cait.” Her voice was hoarse. “Call the- call.” Her breath shuddered.
It felt like Caitlyn’s feet were glued to the ground, her chin trembling.
“Cait!” Vi screamed, her name was half strangled by a sob.
She moved, swallowing down vomit. She could barely dial the phone that was on the wall of the kitchen, her fingers betraying her with tremors that rattled her entire body. “She’s tried to- she was in the bath- blood. Hurry.” Her tongue had gone to mush, her words desperate and quick.
“Ma’am, I need you to slow down.” The operator replied.
Vi’s eyes flashed through her mind and snapped something in Caitlyn. She sucked in a quick breath.
“I need an ambulance. You need to send an ambulance. Quickly. She slit-”
“I need an address.” The operator’s voice crackled through the phone, there was something urgent in it which sent a bolt of panic and a bolt of relief through Caitlyn simultaneously.
Caitlyn frowned and racked her brain for the address of Vi’s house before providing it.
“Okay, we have a unit dispatched heading there as fast as possible. Who is it?”
She tried to move to the bathroom, desperately wanting to help, but her body was jerked back by the phone cord. She cursed under her breath.
“Is she breathing?” Caitlyn’s voice screamed from the kitchen.
Vi hovered her ear over Powder’s mouth and then removed one of her hands from her sister’s wrists to feel for any breath. She felt the tiniest puffs of air against the wet blood on her hands and her whole body convulsed with a sob.
“Barely!” She mustered as much strength as she could to scream back.
She was in the process of tearing her shirt apart, constantly talking to Powder as she did. She was still warm against her as she bound her wrists as tightly as she could with scraps of shirt.
She saw the razor blade on the corner of the bath and cried out in anguish, cursing it for what it had done.
“What did you do, what did you do?” She desperately pleaded with Powder to answer her. “Are they coming?” She yelled, she didn’t recognize her own voice.
“Yes!” Caitlyn answered. She didn’t recognize Caitlyn’s voice.
“Tell them to hurry!” Vi knew they were already hurrying, but what more could she do? She felt entirely helpless, like every move was a misstep, like everything was out of her control.
She gently slapped Powder’s cheek a few times, her skin was damp and clammy. Her eyes had averted Powder’s eyes, like they knew she needed to be protected from it. “Pow?” She cried. “Pow, talk to me.”
Caitlyn appeared at the door in a flurry. “They’re almost here.”
Like clockwork, the sirens of the ambulance flooded the street.
“She’s cold.” Vi gasped through sobs. “She’s all wet and she’s cold.”
Caitlyn’s eyes searched the bathroom, she tore towels off of the towel rack on the wall and crouched down next to Vi, tucking them around Powder. She could feel that Powder was still warm, she looked at Vi and her heart shattered. It was like she had imagined what her sister would say if she was conscious, guessing her needs.
“That’s better.” Vi said softly, nodding at Powder.
Caitlyn stood up and as she did, she saw Powder’s eyes for a glimpse. They were half open, but Caitlyn could only see the bloodshot whites of them as they rolled backwards into her head. She was horrified. “I should open the door.” She swallowed.
The paramedics worked efficiently, packing Powder’s wounds with gauze and hooking her up to some kind of solution before they lifted her tiny body out of the bathroom.
The padding of boots on the wooden floor filled the space, as well as utterings of vital signs and treatment plans.
“Can I go with her?” Vi pleaded as they watched the stretcher be rolled into the back of the ambulance.
“We need to leave now and we don’t have the space. I’m sorry. Is there anyone we can contact for you?” The broad shouldered man replied.
“My dad. He’s at the baseball field. The game should be finished. I need him to take me to her.” Vi said, her voice thick with tears.
Vi gave him as much detail as she could as they rushed into the van.
He nodded. Caitlyn could see the sorrow in his eyes, despite trying to put up a front for the sake of Vi.
“We’ll try our best to get a hold of him.” He said.
The sirens started up again, aggressively shrieking the urgency of the situation. They watched silently as the ambulance turned the corner, the noise of it fading into the distance.
Vi turned to Caitlyn and collapsed into her, heaving with sobs. Caitlyn’s own tears silently fell as she held Vi tightly. She looked around the little street to see some neighbours had come out of their homes, standing on their porches in warm pajamas and watching the scene play out.
Vi’s clothes were damp and shredded and there was blood all over her, evidence that the horror they experienced wasn’t just a nightmare.
Caitlyn helped her inside, it was now a waiting game of when Vander would arrive.
Vi seemed to have noticed the physical state she was in, she stared at her hands with wide eyes. Her fingernails were caked with blood that smeared up her hands, trailing onto her wrists.
She stormed over to the kitchen sink and began to aggressively scrub at her hands as they violently shook. They slipped under the water with the force she was applying, her knuckles hitting the metal sides of the sink.
Caitlyn rushed over and took Vi’s hands in hers, stilling them. She tenderly rubbed at Vi’s skin, watching the blood disappear down the drain as she did.
“I couldn’t save her.” Vi said quietly.
Caitlyn looked at her. Her eyes were still wide. “Nobody was expecting you to.” She said softly.
“I should have done more.” Vi said, her voice was clipped and quietly angry.
Caitlyn squeezed her hands as she turned off the tap. “Look at me.”
Vi’s eyes softened when she looked at Caitlyn, the harsh edges made by trauma returning to some sense of normalcy. “You did everything you could. Everything. You did good, Vi.”
Vi nodded hesitantly. Caitlyn would repeat it as many times as she had to, to get her to believe it. She pulled the door shut to the bathroom, not even looking inside herself, before she helped Vi past it. She picked out a fresh shirt for her and peeled off her old one, kissing the cold skin where her collarbone connected to her neck before slipping the new one on. Vi sat there in silence, wordlessly allowing her to.
“Do you think she’ll-” Her voice cracked and she swallowed.
“If I know anything about your sister, it’s that she’s tough as nails. She’ll pull through.” Caitlyn said.
“My sister.” Vi said, a tear silently falling off the tip of her nose as she hunched over, head in hands.
The perks of living in a small town was that everywhere was only a short drive. It wasn’t long before they heard Vander’s tires screech around the corner.
Like she was possessed, Vi dashed to the front door. Caitlyn grabbed her shoes and followed, closing the front door behind her that Vi had left swinging open.
Vander was white knuckling the steering wheel when they climbed into the truck. “What happened?” His voice was stern.
“She… she tried to-” Vi gagged as she tried to form the words.
“She slit her wrists.” Caitlyn said. “It must have been minutes before we found her, she was still breathing. Just.” The way she recalled what happened was robotic but it was the only way that she could stomach getting it out.
“Oh God.” She never wanted to hear Vander’s voice so frail ever again.
She saw Claggor’s face in the reflection of the side mirror from the backseat, his expression was hard and cold, his eyes slightly glinted with fear.
She had never seen Mylo so quiet. She had never seen him quiet at all. But he sharply exhaled and looked out the window, tears silently streaming down his cheeks.
Vi was the first to speak. “Dad, I’m so sorry.” Her voice was so small. “I should’ve- I should’ve been home. I should’ve stopped her.”
Under different and less urgent circumstances, Vander might’ve slammed on the breaks to talk some sense into his daughter. Instead, his grip only tightened on the steering wheel.
He cleared his throat of the lump that had formed. “Vi, I need you to understand that this isn’t your fault. That no matter what happens, you cannot carry this guilt with you.”
Caitlyn squeezed Vi’s hand and nodded in agreement with Vander, giving her a sad smile.
Vi sniffed in response.
The Lanes’ effortlessly commanded a room, maybe it was the energy about them or the sheer size of Vander but people watched them when they entered the emergency department, the ladies at the front desk staring them down.
“How can I help you, sir?” One of them asked.
“Powder Lanes.” He said. “She was just rushed here by ambulance.”
“And who are you all in relation to the patient?” She peered over her glasses at them all.
“Family.” He said. “She’s my daughter, these are her siblings.”
Her eyes lingered on Caitlyn, squinting slightly. She looked back to Vander and arched an eyebrow.
“Family.” He said sternly.
She didn’t bite. “Take a seat. We’ll bring you in as soon as we can.”
He nodded once and then directed them all to a corner of the room where they took their seats. Hard, shiny, cold plastic coupled with fluorescent white lighting.
Hospitals.
Vi’s knee bobbed up and down incessantly, her nails digging into the armrests of her chair and picking at any stray upholstery thread they could find.
Vander’s fist was pressed to his lips and his eyes were closed, like he was in silent prayer. You could see the lines on his face so clearly under the bright lights, years of weathering caused by raising such boisterous kids.
Caitlyn’s heart panged and ached at the thought of one of those children fighting for her life right now.
They sat in silence and the emergency department was anything but a silent place, case after case walking through the doors and being dismissed to the fate of the same cold chairs. She thought of an unconscious Powder bypassing any waiting that is typically required, rushed through the system in her dire state.
Mylo and Claggor were well beyond the point of any attempts at entertainment. There were no innocent games of rock, paper, scissors or chopsticks passing between them. Mylo was slumped over in his chair, tugging at his hair. Claggor stared straight ahead, that same expression Caitlyn noticed on the way there.
Caitlyn’s way of coping was allowing her mind to slip back into the version of the day where none of this happened. Where Vi carried her home and they nestled themselves into bed before Powder came out of the bathroom, wet hair dripping onto warm skin wrapped in a towel. And she protested Caitlyn and Vi’s sappy love as always before climbing into her bed, where Caitlyn could hear the gentle hum of Powder’s snoring before drifting into her own sleep.
Where Caitlyn pointed at the constellations in the sky and didn’t consider that a star could potentially be attributed to Powder.
Vander’s eyes opened slowly, like he had exhausted his supply of words that could be conjured into prayers, like things were out of his hands now. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and looked at them all.
“It’s late. Did anyone want something from the vending machine?” He asked.
The idea of eating made Caitlyn feel sick. Vi swallowed and Caitlyn realised they shared the same sentiment.
“No thank you.” She answered, seemingly for all of them.
He didn’t insist or ask again, he understood it was more of an off chance question than an opportunity that he was providing them.
No one could function at a time like this.
Caitlyn’s eyes stung from keeping them open, but every time she closed them she saw Powder’s eyes, their emptiness haunting her, so she protested the urge to blink.
4 hours had passed, told by the ticking of the clock on the wall that she could’ve sworn had grown increasingly louder since they had sat down.
“Lanes.” A woman in scrubs said.
Everybody stood up and she was taken aback, not expecting there to be so many of them.
In hindsight, there was maybe 2 seconds of pause between that word and her next sentence. To them, it was a lifetime of wait.
Vi’s heartbeat almost drowned it out.
“She’s stable,” she said, “right this way.”
They all released a breath that nobody knew they were holding.
Vi made a sound that fell somewhere between a sob and a cheer.
Vander looked at the ceiling and breathed deeply in thanks.
The way to Powder’s room was an endless maze of white hallways, nothing discerning one corner from another. But the doctor, Ivy, as Caitlyn had read on her name badge, was not perturbed by any of it. The sureness in her step put Caitlyn at ease.
“She’s a fighter. She lost a lot of blood, that’s why this has taken so long, she needed a transfusion. It took us a while to get her stabilised but she got there.” She said kindly.
Vander smiled. “That’s my girl.”
“The tourniquet’s on her wrists were a saving grace, slowed the bleeding before we could even get there.” She added.
Caitlyn squeezed Vi’s hand who scratched the back of her neck shyly.
“Alright.” She slowed in front of a room that looked the same as any of the others. “We can only have two people in there at a time, in case of an emergency we need to be able to get in there. And it’s unclear right now as to when she will wake up, so don’t expect anything. She will on her own time.” She left them with a final smile of encouragement.
The urge that pulsed through all of them to rush into the room was begrudgingly pushed down. Caitlyn immediately took it as her cue to step back and allow them all to decide an order of proceedings.
“Vi.” Vander held out his hand to her. “Come on.” He winked at her and nodded his head towards the door.
She allowed herself to be selfish for a moment, taking his hand without caring for a second that anyone could possibly want to see her sister more than her. No one could.
Seeing was believing and Vi only believed her sister was okay when she saw the subtle rise and fall of her chest mirrored by the waves on the patient monitor. She looked so small in the hospital bed, bundled in white cotton blankets. Her wrists were bandaged excessively, and clean, Vi noticed, not a trace of the damage she had inflicted on herself visible.
“Oh, Pow.” Vi held her sister’s fingertips gently and allowed the tears to fall. Vander rubbed her back.
“You did good, kid.” He said to her.
She looked up at him and noticed his own eyes were welling with tears. It was a sight she had only seen once before in her life and hoped she would never see again. She leaned into him, into the safety of him.
They stayed like this for a little while, until Vi knew she couldn’t have been dreaming.
“Okay.” She said.
Caitlyn stood in the hallway with Claggor and Mylo.
“Where did you find her?” Claggor asked innocently.
Caitlyn breathed in. “Vi found her. In the bathtub.”
Claggor nodded. Caitlyn didn’t deny any of his curiosity. She figured that she would be the same. But now she understood that curiosity about the unimaginable was a privilege and to see the unimaginable was a curse.
“Did it look bad?” He asked.
Caitlyn had her guess as to what he was referring to, but it’s not like she wanted to give out the specifics.
“My mind is foggy when I think about it already. But it was bad. There was a lot of blood.” She said quietly.
Mylo nodded this time.
They asked a few more questions. She was honest but discreet, choosing her words wisely, protecting them from what they didn’t need to know.
“What happens after this?” Mylo asked.
It threw Caitlyn a little. She hadn’t pictured life beyond this night, how it would resume, how it would change. She was supposed to be leaving for university in one week, it felt so out of reach now.
She considered her words. “I don’t know, not for certain. But Powder might have to go away for a bit, to get better. You need to promise me you’ll look after each other, okay?” Her voice threatened to buckle.
She wasn’t really sure what angle she was taking, but something in her wanted to make sure that they wouldn’t lose each other in the midst of a tragedy, like if her own family was a lost cause then she at least wanted to hold this one together.
“Yeah.” Claggor breathed out, he had more of an understanding of what Caitlyn was getting at.
Eventually, it was each of their turns to enter the room and the night proceeded like this, into early morning.
“Shit.” Vi said. “Should we call Ekko?”
Vander blinked in realization. “Shit. I’ll call him. I saw a payphone outside the front of the ER.”
Vi nodded. Powder had broken contact with him a few weeks before the summer begun, Vi figured it was just typical Powder with her self destructive behaviours. It now pained her to realise she was trying to protect him from the grief of losing her.
She slipped into the room once Mylo had come out to get a snack from the vending machine. Caitlyn was in there, sitting in a chair by the edge of the bed. Vi joined her.
“Thank you.” She said.
Caitlyn blinked. “For what?”
“For what?” Vi asked, exasperated. “For everything. For helping me, for helping her.” She nodded to Powder. “For staying. I don’t remember a lot of the past 8 hours, but I remember you being there through all of it.”
“You don’t need to thank me.” Caitlyn whispered. There was no universe that existed where Caitlyn hadn’t stayed glued to Vi’s side while she grappled with the tragedy.
“Yeah, well I’m doing it anyway.” Vi said firmly.
Caitlyn sniffed out a laugh. The noise of it felt strange and foreign, when she heard Vi scream for the first time she had a real fear that she wouldn’t laugh for a long time.
“Vi?” A small voice entered the conversation, weak and scratchy.
Vi leaped to her feet and was by the bed side in an instant. “Oh, Powder!” Her voice was so hopeful in the moment, laced with relief.
Caitlyn stood up and treasured the scene that played out before her.
Vi was beaming at her little sister, discreetly trying to blink away tears that threatened to fall for the 100th time that night. She brushed her choppy blue hair off of her forehead and kissed it.
“What happened?” Powder asked as Vi fussed over her, adjusting the blankets, offering her a plastic cup full of water.
She frowned. “You don't remember?”
Powder went to shake her head and groaned a little, her body not prepared for that kind of movement. Her eyes darted around the room, Caitlyn stared at them for a long time, willing the alive irises to erase the image she had of her eyes rolling backwards. They finally landed on the bandages around her wrists.
“Oh.” She whispered.
Caitlyn could see it in Vi’s face that she wanted to take away all of her sister’s pain, erase the night from all of their memories, and turn back the clock with her willpower.
“Oh.” She repeated, the word carrying more weight. Her eyes pricked with tears and her face contorted to make way for them to spill, gentle sobs trembling through her.
To see the cause of all of their tears tonight crying broke Caitlyn, a reminder that things were not the same.
“Hey. You’re okay.” Vi cooed, wiping at her wet cheeks.
“I’m not.” Powder sobbed, it was an ugly sound, the brutality of her honesty winding Vi, who staggered back for a moment before recovering herself.
Vi stood by her side while she cried until there was a lull in the streams of salt. “You’re going to be okay.” She corrected herself.
Powder sniffed.
“Do you want me to let your family know?” Caitlyn asked them.
Powder jumped a little at the sound of her voice, like she hadn’t processed that she was in the room. “Hi Caitlyn.” She said gently.
“Hi.” Caitlyn smiled before leaving the room.
Ekko had arrived and was pacing up and down the hallway outside with purpose, muttering to himself.
“She’s awake.” She announced.
There was a collective sigh of relief that was sung through the hallway. Vander immediately walked in.
Caitlyn could hear Vi talking from the door. “She was great. Called the ambulance. I was a babbling mess.”
Her chest swelled, smiling to herself.
“You were there?” Ekko asked her.
They had never really spoken, but any acts of formality go out the window when someone’s life was just on the line.
Caitlyn nodded. She selfishly wished she wasn’t, that someone else could’ve taken on the role and saved her from the sleepless nights that would plague her for years.
“How did she- why- is she-” So many questions came rushing out of his mouth all at once, none of them making room for the others.
“Hey.” Caitlyn placed a hand on his forearm. “You don’t want to know. Not now. But she’s okay, and you’ll have forever to find the answers you want.”
His shoulders sagged and eyes drooped. And then the unexpected happened. He slammed himself into Caitlyn for a hug. His arms were heavy around her shoulders. Her body went rigid and wide eyed for a moment before she softened herself, patting him on the back.
“Thank you.” He whispered. “Vi told me how you helped.”
“Of course.” She swallowed. Who hadn’t she told?
The door clicked open and Vi exited. Ekko retreated from the hug and wiped his nose with his sleeve.
Vi raised an eyebrow but said nothing, giving Caitlyn a knowing look.
Some sense of normalcy fell over them as the morning arrived. Claggor and Mylo helped themselves to Powder’s breakfast, decimating the dry pieces of toast.
They gave Ekko some time alone with Powder which he took gratefully. Half an hour passed before they creaked open the door. They were both snoring softly, Ekko sitting in a chair beside the bed with his head on the mattress next to Powder, their hands intertwined.
“Idiots.” Vi smiled.
Eventually, Vander drove Caitlyn back home, stopping at his place so Caitlyn could grab her bag and he could pack some things for Powder. She hated that the memory of Vi’s house was now tainted by what had happened. The bathroom was no longer where Caitlyn had dyed the tips of Vi’s hair black as they laughed at her terrible job. Vi had cut them off as soon as they grew long enough to not make a noticeable difference. It was now the bathroom where Powder had almost died.
Caitlyn sighed to herself as she left. Her parents had arrived back from their work trip sometime in the early hours of the morning.
“Caitlyn!” Her mother’s shrill voice echoed through the barely furnished house. “Where have you been?”
“Uh-” Caitlyn stuttered. Next thing she knew, her knees hit the polished floorboards as she collapsed, every tear she had held back for the sake of other people washing over her. She let it all out.
“Oh!” Her mother exclaimed. “Tobias!” She screamed as she rushed to Caitlyn, wrapping an arm around her.
This is what it took to get affection out of her mother. A complete breakdown.
She told them everything. About the summer. About Vi. About Powder. Her story was broken by voice cracks and sniffling.
The silver lining was that under different circumstances, her mother would have been much more overt about her distaste for Caitlyn dating Vi. But she couldn’t scold her daughter who had just endured the most traumatic night of her life for not dating her first choice.
So she bit her tongue as Caitlyn unravelled before them. When Caitlyn finished speaking, they treaded around their words lightly, such a display of emotion was something they had never experienced with Caitlyn.
“It sounds like a change will be good for you darling.” Her father said.
Caitlyn sniffed. “What?”
“Next week.” He said. “You’ll be miles away from any of this.”
The future had completely slipped Caitlyn’s mind. “Oh.” She said, the shock evident in her voice.
Her mother tilted her head. “You’re still going, Caitlyn.”
“What if I’m needed here?” Caitlyn asked.
“That girl has plenty of people looking out for her.” Cassandra said, referring to Powder.
Caitlyn nodded.
3 days later, Caitlyn called Vi. She had ignored the persistent gnawing of missing her for the sake of giving her family space to recover and come back together. But she determined it was enough.
“Is it okay if I come over? I just want to see you for a bit, we’ve still got some planning to do for the end of the week.” It felt premature to be talking like she was but what other choice did she have? The start of the university year wasn’t waiting for anyone.
“Of course, Cait. You know you don’t even have to ask.” There was something in Vi’s voice on the other end of the phone that told Caitlyn she was holding something back, but she pushed down the fear that it sparked in her.
“Are you okay?” Caitlyn asked.
“Hm? Oh yeah, yeah. Just- it’s been a lot, you know.” Vi rambled.
“Yes, of course. Sorry. Stupid question.”
“Not at all.” The genuine love in Vi’s voice pained Caitlyn more than it elated her.
“I’ll see you soon.”
Caitlyn walked to Vi’s, she had been savouring her hometown more, not knowing how long it would be before she returned. Maybe weeks, maybe months. Before summer, she probably wouldn’t have cared, but Vi had changed so much of how she experienced home. So she allowed the warm air to fill her lungs and the sun rays to kiss her face. The weather would take on a cool chill the next day, so she figured it was only right.
She frowned as she turned onto Vi’s street and saw that familiar splash of pink hair sitting on the curb in front of her house, kicking at a stone around her feet.
“Vi!” She sang out, waving.
Vi waved back, her expression unable to be comprehended from a distance.
The closer Caitlyn got, the more a sense of dread bloomed in her gut, like her body knew something that she didn’t and was trying to shield her. Over the past week, she had grown more appreciative of her body’s ability to protect her. The nights were still difficult but she could feel her mind being scrubbed of its frame by frame recollection of that night. Some things still wouldn’t go away, certain images looming over her and waking her up in a cold sweat, but she could handle that.
“Hi.” She said as she reached Vi, tucking her skirt under her legs as she sat next to her.
There was something cold about her demeanour, something that Caitlyn could only pick up on.
“Hey.” Vi said weakly.
“How is she?” Caitlyn asked.
Vi nodded, still not looking at Caitlyn. “She’s good, she’s, uh, going into a psychiatric unit for a few weeks. Hopefully, just a few weeks.”
“Oh, good.”
“Yeah, we’re getting everything ready.”
Caitlyn sat and stared at Vi, searching her side profile for any clues as to what she was feeling. There was a slight furrow to her eyebrows, a tensity to her jaw, a twitch in her nose. It all churned Caitlyn’s stomach. She couldn’t do this for any longer.
“What is it?” She demanded, bracing herself for the answer.
Vi rubbed at her jaw and pinched the bridge of her nose. She grimaced before she opened her mouth. “I’m not going.”
Caitlyn blinked. “What?” She willed her voice to be strong but it came out so breakable.
“I can’t.”
“But- our plans.” Caitlyn said, teary eyed.
“I can’t leave her.” Vi said firmly.
“Vi. She’s getting help.”
She shook her head. “If something happens and I’m not here, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”
“Nothing’s going to happen.” Caitlyn said.
“It almost did!” She raised her voice, Caitlyn flinched at the sound. “I know that you can’t imagine how this feels. But it hurts, Cait. If I was to lose her, I-” She didn’t bother trying to finish her sentence.
Her words were as sharp as knives, hitting Caitlyn where it hurt. She swallowed the hurt and concentrated on not letting a single tear fall.
“So, what? You’re just going to abandon yourself because of this?” She asked, searching Vi’s face, begging her to meet her eyes.
Vi turned away, pressing her fist to her mouth. “I would abandon everything for her.” She said, barely audible, but Caitlyn heard it loud and clear.
She stifled a scoff, the sadness being replaced by rage. “Grow a fucking back bone Vi.”
“It was a crazy plan anyway.” Vi said, choosing to ignore Caitlyn’s comment.
“It’s what we’ve both wanted for years.” Caitlyn said.
“Us. You know what I mean.”
“I’m not sure I do.” Caitlyn challenged her. They were just taking turns now, seeing who could land the worst blow.
“Starting a life together after what? 3 months.” Vi said, venom on her tongue.
“Really? You’re weaponising our relationship to justify your stupidity?” Caitlyn allowed herself to laugh this time, slow and menacing.
“I’m glad you’re amused.” Sarcasm took over the venom. “Who’s to say we wouldn’t get there and fall apart after 3 weeks just like we are now.”
“Me.” Caitlyn said, taking the higher road, trying to reach the Vi that she knew. “I would say that. Because I love you and this is what I want. You are what I want.” She punctuated her words, trying to break through whatever barrier Vi had put up.
Vi’s chin trembled. She looked at Caitlyn for the first time. And Caitlyn saw the hurt, it was etched all over her face. In every line that she had once kissed so tenderly.
“I’m sorry.” She said.
“Don’t apologise.” Caitlyn said. “Just come with me. Be with me.” She smiled, it was tear stained.
Vi gave her answer just enough time to give Caitlyn a glimmer of hope before she landed the final blow. “I can’t.”
She stood up.
“Vi.” Caitlyn said desperately.
“You don’t need me. You will do such great things without me and I’ll watch.”
“I do need you.” Caitlyn admitted, standing up after feeling so small. “I always have.”
She thought of all the versions of Vi she had the privilege of knowing her entire life. The Vi who would embarrass herself for her, take a punch for her, deal a punch for her. She saw none of them in the Vi that was walking away from her now.
Maybe she was still in there and maybe that is what hurt the most.
“Vi! Wait!” Caitlyn yelled, trying to catch up to her, her feet betrayed her, unstable in the face of heartbreak.
Vi turned around on the porch of her house, sparing Caitlyn a moment in the turmoil of their relationship. Her eyes were red, it relieved Caitlyn that she still had emotion.
Caitlyn’s chest heaved with hyperventilation. “Why can’t we just try? Try to make it work?”
Vi closed her eyes and exhaled. “I am staying here, and you deserve more than anyone to get out of here. I would never be able to forgive myself if I was the thing that tied you to this place.”
“Why do you get to decide that for me?” Caitlyn asked.
Vi opened the door to her house, Caitlyn felt the time between them slipping away from her, no matter how many claw marks she left in it.
“A few months from now, you will know that I was right.”
“No! You’re wrong.” Caitlyn’s voice was hoarse from all of her pleading.
“Cait. It’s over.” Vi said with a sense of finality that Caitlyn dreaded.
“No.” Caitlyn sobbed.
The door clicked shut.
“Vi?” Caitlyn asked softly, her vision clouded by tears. “Vi!” She screamed when there was no answer.
Vi sunk to the floor and rested her head against the door, her shoulders shaking with gut wrenching sobs. It took everything in her to not run back out there and scoop Caitlyn up, to answer her pleas with the love that only belonged to her.
But she truly believed she had done right by Caitlyn, that severing her tie to Vi was the only way that she would be able to follow her dreams with her whole heart. Even if Caitlyn was Vi’s dream.
Notes:
presenting my longest chapter ever!
i am so sorry.
unfortunately, i did love writing this.
Chapter Text
Caitlyn’s nose was cold. “Can someone turn up the heating?” She yelled over the Christmas music blasting from the kitchen.
“Maybe if you moved from the couch, you could get some blood flow going and you wouldn’t be so cold!” A voice yelled back.
“I have to get this email sent. Just 2 degrees!” She pleaded, not looking up from her computer.
“Do it yourself!”
Her nostrils flared with irritation and she closed the laptop with poised precision, emerging from her spot on the couch.
“You guys make me sick.” She said as she adjusted the thermostat, looking pointedly at Mel and Jayce dancing around the kitchen together. Mel threw her head back laughing as one of Jayce’s socked feet slipped on the floorboards and he barely recovered.
“Shh. You saw nothing.” He chuckled, covering her eyes.
She swatted him away and Caitlyn couldn’t help but break a smile. She shook her head and went to retreat back to work.
“Uh!” Mel exclaimed to get her attention.
She twisted herself back around. “Yes?”
Mel opened the fridge with a cheeky grin on her face, before revealing a bottle of white wine from the door. She gave it a dramatic flourish with her hand.
“No.” Caitlyn said sternly.
Mel pouted.
“No!” Caitlyn laughed.
“Come on. Stay. Talk! You’ve been in your cave all day.” She whined.
“The couch?” Caitlyn asked.
“Same same.” Mel dismissed her.
Caitlyn paused and looked at Jayce who had gotten back to chopping up vegetables. He shrugged, a small smirk on his face. She sighed. “Fine.”
Mel clapped her hands together excitedly and poured a glass for Caitlyn.
“Go easy.” She said, wide eyed as the liquid sloshed into the glass, sliding onto a bar stool.
“You need it.” Mel said, looking her up and down.
Caitlyn looked down at her grey hoodie. “This is not that bad.”
Mel shrugged and pursed her lips.
Caitlyn took a sip that turned into a gulp. “At least I don’t look like I’m about to clock in for my shift at Santa’s workshop.”
Mel and Jayce had decided to go hard for Christmas this year, down to matching sweaters. Caitlyn’s eyes roamed over the green knit embroidered with gingerbread men around the collar. Mel narrowed her eyes but didn’t take the bait. “I’m just glad the wine is bringing your personality back.”
Caitlyn sneered.
Mel turned around to the stove, stirring a saucepan. “So, you’re now single for the holidays. What sad activities will you be getting into?” She asked over her shoulder. “Perhaps lonely walks in Piltover park, ice skating for one?”
Mel mentioning her being single probably should’ve stung more after being freshly out of a relationship. She pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed deeply. “Actually, I’m going home.”
Caitlyn couldn’t see Mel’s face but she heard her frown.
“You are home.” She said.
Caitlyn took another sip of wine. “Home, home.” She said, making a ‘you know’ gesture with her hand.
“What?” Jayce asked, like he hadn’t been present for their entire conversation.
“Yep.” Caitlyn said. “Seeing you two together makes me feel physically ill and I want to spend my holidays in peace.”
Mel turned around and raised an eyebrow. “In peace with your… parents?”
“I’m thinking about a hotel.” She said.
Jayce snorted. “Your house is big enough to avoid them anyway.”
“Says you, neighbour.”
He held his hands up, guilty.
“I think time and space apart was what was required to somewhat mend our relationship.” Caitlyn said.
“But they were never around anyway.” Jayce said without a second thought.
Caitlyn pressed her lips into a thin line. “Self-decided space and time.”
“You know we’re coming down for a few days as well, right?” Mel asked.
She didn’t. “On second thoughts, a cabin in the middle of nowhere sounds nice.”
“Hey!” Mel protested.
“I jest.” Caitlyn smiled and shook her head. “No, it’ll be fun.” She didn’t sound so sure.
“Are you convincing us or yourself?” Jayce asked.
“What about work?” Mel asked before Caitlyn could answer Jayce.
Caitlyn groaned. This was a sore subject for her. “Grayson said I literally have to have time off. I’ve accrued too much annual leave.”
Mel leaned one elbow on the bench and rested her head in her palm, staring at Caitlyn. “You are an enigma.”
Caitlyn shrugged, smiling.
“So this will be the first time in…”
“7 years.” Caitlyn swallowed.
Mel sucked her teeth. “You’re in for it.”
“It’s time.” She admitted.
It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen her parents in 7 years, they came to Piltover all the time. For work or to visit, it had conveniently erased any desire or need to go back to her hometown, they brought it to her.
“So what exactly prompted it?” Jayce asked.
“Going home?”
He hummed.
“Uh, I guess I had time off and I figured it’s just a thing that people do. You know, a roadtrip home for the holidays.” She plastered on a smile.
“In what car?” He teased.
Caitlyn could drive, she had planned on getting a car once she moved but had never found that she really needed one. With no desire to go home, she had become very well versed in the public transport system and the occasional taxi.
She gritted her teeth, bracing for impact. “Yours?”
Jayce stared at her blankly, the teasing smile disappearing from his face.
“Please?” Caitlyn asked, pouting and pinching her eyebrows together in her best doe-like expression.
He covered his eyes, shielding him from her wrath. “Nuh uh. No way.”
“It’s gathering dust Jayce.” She said sternly, dropping the act while he wasn’t looking.
“It is not! It’ll be dust when it returns if you’re driving it. Besides, we need it for our own trip down.” He insisted.
“We’re taking my car.” Mel whispered. “It has more space.”
He sighed. “You weren’t supposed to tell her that.”
Caitlyn grinned and mouthed her thanks to Mel. She already knew she had won.
“Alright. What are you making for me?” She clapped her hands together, looking at the board of chopped vegetables.
“Don’t change the subject. We aren’t done talking about the car.” Jayce dropped his hand from his face and stared her down.
“No, we are.” She said smugly, taking a triumphant sip of wine and going to get up.
“One more question.” Mel said.
Caitlyn lightly exhaled through her nose but kept her composure. “Yes?”
“Does this little voyage home have anything to do with you being freshly single?” Mel’s eyes were saying a thousand different things, pressure points being hit by green orbs and Caitlyn liked none of them.
Her hand stiffened around the cold glass of wine, perhaps it would shatter against her palm and then it would conveniently start gushing blood to stop this conversation.
She saw the briefest flash of grey eyes cross her mind and shook her head slightly to break free.
Mel raised her eyebrows in an amused fashion. Jayce lifted his knife from the chopping board but didn’t lower it back down, transfixed on Caitlyn’s answer.
“No.” She said sternly. “In fact, I’m trying to escape romance for my holidays.” Her eyes darted between Jayce and Mel, trying to flip the narrative.
Mel’s eyes fluttered down and landed on Caitlyn’s hand. “You know, the glass isn’t trying to run away.”
Caitlyn followed her eyes and saw the whites of her knuckles poking through icy skin. She rolled her shoulders and loosened her grip, watching them fade back to the colour of her skin.
“Happy?” She gave Mel a sickly sweet smile.
“Mhm.” Mel hummed.
Caitlyn dragged herself off of the bar stool, not abandoning her drink for anything and breached the conversation, retreating like a scorned soldier. Like she always did when home was mentioned.
“We’re making soup!” Mel sang out.
“Great!” Caitlyn yelled, feigning interest.
All three of them had found themselves in the city with housing that had fallen through 6 years ago. Caitlyn’s apartment was discovered to have asbestos all through it about a month into her stay there. Mel had been living with the “roommates from hell” as she liked to call them, and Jayce’s scientific pursuits had long outgrown his apartment space and his landlord’s patience who feared that one day he might blow the place up. He wasn’t sure how he would do that with botany but didn’t retort.
As a result, the three of them had been renting a penthouse in the heart of Piltover with more than enough space to accommodate their needs.
Somewhere along the way (about 2 years into living together), Mel had gotten her wish which was of course Jayce. They had tried sneaking around for about 3 months, Caitlyn had played into it, making them believe they were succeeding. All for the satisfaction of the big reveal.
“Mel and I are… together.” Jayce had treaded lightly but there was so much excitement in his voice as he reached for Mel’s hand, she took it, all jittery at the table as they ate dinner together.
Caitlyn had made a mockery of her own shock for a split second before dropping her face to a flat affect. “I know.”
Jayce’s giddiness faltered. “What?”
Caitlyn laughed and her lips twisted into a teasing smile. “Did you think you were being subtle?”
Mel palmed her face. “Oh my God. How long have you known?”
Caitlyn looked up like she was consulting her brain for the information. “About 3 months.”
Mel pursed her lips and nodded. “We’ve been together for 3 months.”
Caitlyn sucked in a breath and grinned. “You think I don’t recognise the glow of a girl who is with someone she’s been pining over since she was 16?”
Mel's eyes grew wide with embarrassment, mouthing some kind of curse directed at Caitlyn.
To Caitlyn’s dismay, Jayce’s shoulders and face melted at Caitlyn’s comment and he was now ogling Mel with big hazel eyes.
“Ugh.” Caitlyn stuck her tongue out. “Forget I said anything.”
She had graduated with her Juris Doctorate last May, it had been a tumultuous uphill climb. Photos of her at her graduation now sat front and centre on their entry table, flashing a massive gap toothed smile as she clung to a scroll in her hand.
Her mother had fussed with her hair to get the perfect photo, brushing a strand out of her face that was adamant to stay on her forehead.
“Alright Cassandra, it’s getting a little insulting now.” Jayce teased her with a wink.
She looked back at him and rolled her eyes playfully but eventually gave up, standing next to him as he took the photo.
“How does it feel?” He asked, beaming behind the camera.
“Amazing.” She sighed happily.
Click.
When her parents joined her for photos, her mind couldn’t help but drift to the family that had been there for her 7 years ago when her own hadn’t shown up. In the same hat and robes, a crinkled set of eyes and a heavy arm slinging over her shoulders was what she thought of as her mother placed a delicate hand on her back.
She took a week off, or told Mel and Jayce that she took a week off, before studying for the bar exam and passing it that August. Her internship at a law firm in the city had overlapped with her doctorate by about a year, making this her second year of interning.
When talking about her job, completely unbeknownst to her she would glamorize it to anyone. In reality it was an extensive amount of emails and legal research, handling the nitty gritty jobs that lawyers didn’t want to do and occasionally having her moment of spotlight when she could represent a client in a case under supervision. To Caitlyn it was everything. Every case that she won and she did win every one gave her a push she didn’t even need to keep going.
The internship was where she met Maddie, she had looked up from her computer to see a ginger mop of hair and two blue eyes burning a hole through her head from a desk across the room. Mel had called it a relationship of convenience when they broke up.
Caitlyn bit her tongue, unable to come up with a witty insult that urged her to release it. She knew it was true. She had dated but never pursued anything serious and the constant nagging from her parents had grown to be too much. Almost like she felt she should want a relationship, not because she actually wanted one.
They were together for a year. She had conceded that it was bland. That it gave her a sense of stability. She blamed it all on herself, the entire ‘still finding myself’ bit. Maddie had left her apartment with splotchy cheeks. Caitlyn woke up to an ‘I miss you’ text that never got a reply.
She half expected her parents to take Maddie’s side in the breakup. She came from a good family, by good family they meant another rich family. She had similar pursuits in life to Caitlyn. She was charming, she made her mother laugh and her father smile.
The longer Caitlyn ran over this information in her mind, the more the guilt consumed her, like an impending sense of dread that maybe she would pull the same act on anyone who crossed her desk.
“If it’s not right, it’s not right.” Mel reassured her time and time again. “You can’t force feelings.”
Caitlyn nodded every time, tried to drink her words, force some resonating qualities into them. How could she explain that she had been chasing the same feeling she had at 18 years old for her entire adult life?
She had decided that nostalgia was simply the death of her, that she had gotten into a relationship at an extremely formative time and witnessed something traumatic and as a result everything had felt so much more intense than it was. And eventually it would fade into the deep archives of her memory and gather dust and she would feel fulfilled in a relationship.
“Dinner’s ready!” Mel yelled.
Caitlyn had ventured into the kitchen to actually cook something enough times to count on one hand. It never ended well. Seared to the pan, overloaded with spice and undercooked were just a few causes of casualties.
While it had amused her to see Jayce’s eyes watering after he took a bite, even she could admit the food wasn’t edible. The ban had been put in place when Mel gagged at the dinner table and made a pathetic attempt at covering it with a smile after Caitlyn had attempted a risotto.
The magnets on the fridge now spelt ‘NO C8 ALL0WED.’ The sets never had enough vowels.
The apartment was sprinkled with all of them, it was the only place that Caitlyn had ever really considered her own. Her doctorate was framed next to posters of magazine covers that Mel had hung up, failed prototypes of Jayce’s were littered across every common surface. They were all beautiful, just not all functional.
The windows ran from the floor to the ceiling across one wall of the penthouse and every year they reflected a perfect picture of each season. She had lost hours just staring out of them, watching people sprawl through the city, wondering where they had come from and where they were going.
“Looks good.” She said, taking her seat. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you.” Jayce said.
She tilted her head.
“For staying out of the kitchen.” He grinned.
She pressed her lips together in a tight smile. “Of course.”
The sweet monotony of life was something she had grown to love, never allowing that familiar ache for something more to surface. She watched snow trickle past the windows as dusk fell upon the city and listened to the laughter of her friends, entirely content.
It was December 10th.
Jayce loaded Caitlyn’s suitcase into the back of his car with a dramatic grunt.
It snapped Caitlyn and Mel out of their conversation, both turning to look at him.
“Put your back into it.” Mel ordered loudly.
Caitlyn snorted.
He glared at them both with an exasperated expression before shaking his head and lifting a duffel bag into the trunk.
“My car, my muscles.” He mumbled.
“What muscles?” Caitlyn called out, Mel giggled.
He finished loading up the car, jaw tensed in frustration.
“Thanks darling.” Caitlyn patted his shoulder as she moved past him. She stood by the car and turned to face them. Jayce slung his arm over Mel’s shoulders who wrapped her cardigan tightly around her. The apartment building car park wasn’t the warmest place. “I feel like I’m off to school camp or something.”
“We packed you lunch for the first day and all of your medications are labeled and in a ziplock bag.” Mel smiled.
“Wow.” Caitlyn shook her head, laughing. “Alright. I’ll see you guys in a couple weeks?” Her voice echoed through the empty space.
“Mhm.” Mel nodded.
“And I’ll see my car in one piece in a couple weeks.” Jayce said.
Mel hit his chest playfully and sucked her teeth. “It will be fine.”
Caitlyn climbed into the car, adjusting the seat and mirrors. “Ten and two.” She grinned, her hands on the steering wheel.
Jayce pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s not even a thing anymore.”
“Oh.” Caitlyn worried her lower lip with her teeth. “9 and 3?” She asked.
“Better.” He nodded.
“See? I’m a natural.” She shrugged.
“Yeah, yeah. Look. Just be careful getting out of the city. Should be smooth sailing from there on out.” He said.
“Yep.” She started pulling the door shut.
“Oh! And be mindful of-” Jayce started.
“Love you guys!” She sang out, slamming the door shut with a thud.
“Ice. On the road.” Jayce sighed, his words now drowned out.
“She knows.” Mel reassured him, waving at Caitlyn with a big smile. “I think.”
The car roared to life, Caitlyn did an excessive check of her mirrors before reversing.
Jayce breathed a small sigh of relief before the car jolted backwards with a screech. He cried out and flung his arms out like they would be able to do something.
She slammed on the breaks, narrowly missing a pillar behind her. She gritted her teeth and rolled down the window. “Just getting used to the pressure sensitivity!” She yelled.
Jayce ran a hand over his face. “Do a lap of the car park for me first. Please.”
Caitlyn nodded quietly, starting to accept that his fear was potentially justified.
One successful, slightly jolty lap later and she was good to go, waving out of the car window as she exited the car park.
5 hours later and it seemed that the car park was her only hiccup. She was more than ready to triumphantly call Jayce and tell him that his precious baby had survived under her watch. She had relaxed into her seat, the tenseness of her back melting away about an hour in. She was even playing music, humming along and taking in the scenery. It had been so long that the drive had become fresh again.
She stopped at a gas station during the third hour, determined to avoid any ones closer to town. She wanted her first interaction with home to be on her own terms. Not the awkward beats of a conversation with a gas station clerk who she would most definitely recognise but there would be some silent agreement between them that they would pretend like they didn’t.
She was now approaching the outskirts of Zaun, as told by signs on the side of the road, capped with snow. The green paddocks used for farming during the spring and summer were white, lines of evergreen trees dividing them. Rickety wooden fences lined the edges of the road.
There was a lump of dread and nostalgia forming in her throat. Zaun during Christmas had always felt special, not spectacular in its beauty like the city was, but homely and cozy.
Her eyes were caught by a sign on the side of the road. ‘Chicken eggs. Winter prices. 150 yards down.’
She frowned before remembering that it was Gert’s family’s farm. She smiled fondly, 7 years later and they were still running the same joint. She remembered clinging onto Vi’s waist with an iron grip as they raced quad bikes around the property. Vi was laughing like an idiot as she conquered a pile of dirt, making Caitlyn squeal as her body lifted off of the seat for a moment of airtime. The sun shone through the visor of her helmet and kissed the tops of her thighs.
The steering wheel jerked in her grip and made a crunching sound, her eyes flicking back to the road and immediately blasting wide. She screamed as the car made an awful screeching sound, the tires skidding across a patch of black ice on the road. Her music was still playing, making a mockery of the situation. She desperately tried to counteract the spinning of the steering wheel, moving her hands as quickly as possible. It was to no avail. She didn’t know what to do, how to brace herself for impact, where the car was positioned on the road.
And it was over in a matter of seconds that felt like they spanned a lifetime.
Her neck wrenched against her seatbelt as the front corner of the car slammed into one of those same rickety wooden fences on the side of the road, the sound of clattering wood could be heard from inside the car.
Her hands were shaking uncontrollably, knuckles driving white spots through her skin as she clung onto the steering wheel.
She panted, trying to regain her breath, the pain in her neck hadn’t quite registered as adrenaline coursed through her. She blew a stray strand of hair out of her face and looked up. The countryside was as serene as ever, laughing at her foolishness.
The airbag on the passenger side blew out with a pathetic squeak, comically too late to possibly do anything and then sagged into a sad deflated pile of silicone.
“Fuck.” She muttered.
She peeled a quivering hand from the steering wheel and reached for her phone, breathing rhythmically as she looked for a local towing company and punched the number in.
Despite the situation she was in, embarrassment ate her alive as she explained it. Her own cockiness haunted her as the tow truck arrived.
A burly man with a scruffy moustache helped her out of the car and surveyed the damage. “You’ve blown a headlight and banged her up a little but it isn’t that bad.”
Caitlyn nodded and winced a little as she did, there was a dull ache in her neck, nothing too serious but her nervous system had handed it over to her to feel once she had calmed down.
Jayce was going to kill her.
“Definitely should’ve invested in winter tires.” He said, squinting at the ones currently on the car.
She was so dead. She made a mental note not to tell him in the hopes that it could be repaired before he even found out.
“You need a ride to the mechanic? Someone can take you home from there?” He asked her as he rigged the car up.
She nodded. “That would be great. Thank you.”
“No worries.” He grunted.
She watched sadly as broken glass cascaded down to the icy asphalt and shivered. It was so much colder in the countryside and she wasn’t dressed for it, her jackets inaccessible in the back of the car that was currently being loaded onto a dolly.
Perhaps it was barbarous but as she was driven to the mechanics, she was grateful that the accident would act as a buffer between her and her parents. A topic of conversation that would keep them occupied for a while before they delve into her life.
“You down for the holidays?” The man asked her. Barry was his name, she had read on his shirt. Tinny rock music spilled out of the truck speakers.
“Yes.” She said, watching the hula lady dance on his dashboard. “Visiting my parents.”
“Good or not good?” He studied her expression, it must’ve been elusive.
“Complicated.” She smiled.
“Ah. And you’re coming from the city?” He must’ve noticed the frames of the number plates.
“Mhm. I grew up here.”
“What is it you do in the city?” His curiosity was harmless, kind even.
“I’m a lawyer, well,” she caught herself, “becoming a lawyer.”
He nodded. “It’s a McLaren. Should’ve known.”
She laughed. “It’s not even mine.” She whispered guiltily. “It’s my friend’s.”
“Hey. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” He winked.
“My thoughts exactly.” She smiled.
She realised while making small talk with Barry that she had missed the humanity of the little town she grew up in. He reminded her so much of Vander it made her feel a little bit nauseous, that same kindness in his eyes. She didn’t get interactions like this in the city. She had also never crashed a car in the city but that was besides the point. Piltover churned out success, Zaun fostered connection.
“Thank you so much.” She said after Barry had offloaded the car and exchanged some words with the mechanic.
She shook his hand and tipped him. “Anytime.” He said, waving as he hopped back into his truck.
Smoke billowed out of the woman at the front desk’s mouth as she spoke to Caitlyn. Scar tissue crept up her neck, past the collar of her shirt and Caitlyn noticed one of her arms was a prosthetic. She gave her a rough timeline of a week for the car’s repairs, depending on how easily accessible the parts were.
“I’ll get you to sign this.” She said, sliding a clipboard with some paperwork on it across the front desk.
Caitlyn obliged, skimming the pages and filling in the blanks with her details.
The place was boisterous, a tin metal shed held together by what seemed to be hopes and dreams. Nobody seemed to be affected by the cold like she was, her teeth quietly chattering as her fingers stiffened around the pen in her hand, her black turtleneck doing little to hold the chills at bay. She was startled by some sparks flying through the air as an electric saw drilled its way through metal, a petite but built woman hanging onto it. Everyone was somehow invested in their work while simultaneously throwing insults across the shed. Caitlyn liked it.
“You got a ride home?” The woman asked, another puff of smoke cascading from her lips.
“Uh-” Caitlyn said. She considered calling her parents, or maybe just a taxi to be safe.
The woman’s fingers drummed on the desk impatiently. “Hey, Blue!” She yelled. “You wanna make yourself useful and give this young lady a ride home?”
“Oh!” Caitlyn exclaimed. “That won’t be-”
Her words died on her lips as a scent flooded her nose that sent her catapulting back through time, unable to stop it. It was musky and spicy like hot leather, this time an unfamiliar note of smoke intertwined itself through the familiar layers.
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She had felt her presence before she saw her and now exhaled a tiny breath, as much as her lungs could muster. She turned around.
“I am being useful.” Vi’s voice came before Caitlyn could see her. It was husky like always, an older edge to it that sent a pang through Caitlyn’s chest. Her eyes were now roaming the mechanics before she could stop herself, unabating in their suspense, trying to identify where the voice had come from.
Blood was rushing past Caitlyn’s ears, the adrenaline she had felt after crashing a car into a fence had been nothing compared to this.
Her eyes landed on a pair of tattooed arms, defined in their muscularity and slightly grimey, flexing as they pushed themselves from underneath a car on a rolling creeper.
No. It couldn’t be-
Caitlyn swallowed.
“Holy shit.” Vi breathed out.
Notes:
oh how maternal i feel about post time jump caitlyn
PSA: i know nothing about cars, tow trucks or mechanics. i hope nobody is cringing at my choice of words when talking about them.
also title is from one of my favourite quotes which starts with: we could never have loved the earth so well if we had had no childhood in it
i sort of related this in my mind to cait having a different outlook on life and her world because she knew vi
i hope you enjoyed! i am sooo excited to continue with this one.
Chapter 12: Same Soul
Summary:
Vi's side of the 7 year time skip.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Vi’s jaw aggressively worked its way through a piece of gum, unhinging and coming together unnaturally fast.
“I know you’re trying to cut down but this might be worse for my health.” Powder said, watching Vi with disgust and wincing at the noise of her chewing.
Vi drummed her thumb against the steering wheel of her car. “You could always bum me one and then your clothes can stink of smoke.” She winked at her little sister.
“I don’t smoke.” Powder said, crossing her arms.
“I’ve stolen cigarettes from you.” Vi said flatly.
“So that’s who it was.” Powder said, raising an eyebrow at Vi. “I only do it on a night out or whatever.” She said defensively.
“Hey, I’m not one to talk.” Vi confessed.
She screeched to a stop in front of Ekko’s house. Powder gathered her things and clambered out.
“Shoot me a text if you need me.” Vi said.
“Yeah yeah.” Powder said, faking her irritation.
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
“Love you.” Vi sang.
“Love you too.” Powder grumbled under her breath.
She watched her little sister bounce inside, snow lightly dusting her blue hair as she knocked on the door. It was longer than ever, running the length of her back. Vi watched the little section of red amongst the blue with pride as it flicked around. A spontaneous decision made by Powder.
Scar opened the door, one of Ekko’s roommates, and gave Vi a lazy salute. He was almost knocked off his feet by Powder bounding past him. Vi rolled down her window, the cold nipping at her cheeks.
“Working today?” She yelled.
“Yeah, I’ll see you.” He yelled back.
“Nice.” She nodded, rolling her window back up and pulling back onto the road.
Ekko had been in and out of community housing and foster homes for as long as Vi could remember. After he graduated, a few of his friends and him had scraped together enough money to rent a bungalow on the outskirts of town.
Vi would be lying if she said she hadn’t expected it to turn into a party house with an eviction notice stuck to the door after 3 months, but she had been working with a few of them for years, considered them friends even and they had proven her wrong. They were good kids.
In fact, Vi had a lot to thank them for. Powder basically divided her time between Vander’s and Ekko’s and when Vi couldn’t get direct reports on her wellbeing from her brothers, Scar and Finn had informed her of anything notable over lunch at work.
It had been a long time since that had happened though, not that she was counting or anything.
On January 8th it would mark 3 years since Powder had been in a facility. She had been in and out for 4 years. That had been a terrible Christmas. She could vividly remember the scrape of Vander’s cutlery on his plate as they sat in their low lit dining room, his hands shaking as they clasped onto the knife and fork. She looked up to see a tear rolling down his cheek, his eyes closed in a silent prayer that made her stomach churn, that same sense of dread seeping into her mind whenever she saw him like this.
Her brother’s eyes were hollow, they fell into this familiar routine of misery every time Powder had been readmitted. No matter how safe she was, it hung in the air and burned their throats that she wasn’t with them, that things weren’t how they should be.
When she was released, there had been that tenseness in the air where everyone was waiting for something to crack. It had been another year until Vi stopped waking up with that fear in her chest.
Vander had picked up too many shifts to count to try and keep up with Powder’s medical bills, to keep them afloat. His body had broken down as a result, double shifts branding his face with new lines, his joints suffering under the pressure.
Mylo and Claggor had both graduated and gone into the family business, taking over the bar from Vander when he could no longer work. They had really made it their own, Vi offered occasional assistance but gave them all the credit.
They had chosen to rebrand 2 summers ago, an extra hot and sticky one.
“I don’t know if it’s centred!” Mylo yelled from the footpath in front of the bar, squinting up at Claggor and Vi.
A drip of sweat fell from the tip of Vi’s nose as she grunted with effort, teetering on a ladder and drilling the sign into the building as Claggor held it in place. “You gonna get up here and fix it?” She yelled back.
“...No.” Mylo said quietly.
“Then shut up.” Vi snapped. The sun was burning the back of her neck, her shoulders glistening with sweat.
He took the hint.
They spent the day tearing the bar apart and putting it back together. It had been months on end of scrounging around town for supplies, finding bargains where they could. Powder had painted tidbits here and there, like the symbols on the toilet doors, monkeys scrawled in neon colours.
Vi sat at the bar that night, Claggor sliding a glass of whiskey to her.
“On the house.” Mylo teased.
“Thanks.” Vi sneered.
They clinked their glasses together and surveyed their work, the jukebox stayed the same, one of Vander’s old songs flowing through the space. The place was a mash of scrap wood and neon signs. Mylo called it a unique flair.
“Can’t believe you bozos did it.” Vi said, taking a sip.
“Mylo can’t either.” Claggor snorted.
The bell above the door jingled and Vander walked in, gripping his walking cane. That kind glint to his eyes had never faded with anything else and it was all Vi could see as he looked around at the bar.
“Nicely done.” He said gruffly, she could hear the pride in his voice. He walked around the bar and clapped Mylo on the back. “Now you actually need to know how to pour drinks.”
Mylo frowned. “I’ve been pouring drinks for years.”
“There’s drinks and there’s good drinks.” Vander winked.
Mylo huffed.
Vi turned around to see Powder out the front window staring at the light up sign before she walked in with a dramatic effect, the bell rattling loudly.
“The Last Drop.” She said, “I like it. Creative.” She wandered into the seat next to the Vi and looked at her brothers with huge eyes expectantly.
“What will it be? An apple juice?” Mylo quipped.
Powder narrowed her eyes.
“Give the girl a drink. She’s practically legal.” Vander grunted.
“Nice parenting.” Vi laughed.
She considered it a perfect opening night. The 4 of them danced around to music that lazily crackled through the jukebox, slightly dizzy with the buzz of alcohol. Vander watched them, his eyes crinkled in a smile. Powder carved their names into the underside of the bar door and said that it was only truly theirs after she did.
Vi retreated outside for a smoke, Vander joining her shortly after. He disapproved of her smoking but the hypocrisy of it really disputed any influence he had on her decisions. His lungs had long suffered the wrath of his pipe, only slowing down when he took the kids in.
She exhaled, the swirl of smoke glowing a shade of green under the lighting of the sign above them. “You trust them?” She nodded inside to Mylo and Claggor.
He laughed, low and gravelly. “Up for debate.”
“Mylo sure had a lot to say about any creative decisions so maybe he cares more than you think.” Vi smiled at the memories of the day. Her shoulders still ached with the effort she had put in.
“I’m sure he did.” Vander said, a twinkle in his eye. “Time will tell.”
The Last Drop became a Zaun hotspot nearly overnight, overflowing with life over the weekends and producing a steady stream of regulars through the week. Powder became something of a legend in the establishment, giving dramatic performances of her favourite songs to only the most deserving crowds (if you gave her enough to drink she’d do it anytime). Ekko would watch her happily, hugging her drink in his hand and cheering her on, occasionally freaking out when the makeshift stage (table) wobbled underneath her.
Her family had truly left their mark on Zaun, to the extent that she almost stopped questioning how her life could have looked if she made a different decision when she was 18. Almost.
The bar alleviated much of their debt, enabling Vander to relax into his retirement and Vi to save enough money to move out of home. A small unit that was a part of a new development of farm land that she could call her own.
At first it had felt modern in a way that made her feel uneasy, a stark contrast to the home she grew up in that bursted at the seams with personality. It grew on her with time and change. Posters went up, car parts moved in and music was played and the knot in her stomach untangled itself. The privacy was a plus too.
Her piece of gum had lost its flavour long ago, her drumming on the steering wheel becoming increasingly restless with her craving as she drove to work.
It must have been evident in the roll of her neck when she stepped out of her car and into work, inhaling the familiar smell of burnt rubber.
Finn immediately held out a cigarette to her when she walked in. She looked at it and sighed. She reached out for it and he pulled it away for a moment.
“Magic word?” He said, flashing his teeth that were half gold.
“Fuck you.” Vi said, lunging and snatching it out of his hand. “Light me up.”
He huffed but obliged, she cupped the lighter with her hand, protecting it from the cool breeze.
“Cheers.” She muttered.
“Two a day, Blue?” He yelled after her as she walked off towards the lockers.
“You know it.” She shouted back, lacking any amusement in her voice. Quitting smoking had proven itself basically impossible when she was surrounded by perpetrators every day.
Blue was a nickname that had regretfully stuck since she had started working at the mechanics when she was 19. The story of its origin haunted her as much as it entertained her coworkers. Initially it had been thrown around a few times after she had dyed her hair from pink to a deep shade of red for the first time. The irony of it amused Sevika, her boss.
What really kept her up in the middle of the night was the way in which it had been cemented into her workplace identity. It was her first time being invited to Friday night drinks, she had only wanted to keep up with everyone else, sculling down a few too many drinks. One thing led to another and things got rather confessional. The wound left by Caitlyn on Vi’s soul was still fresh to the point that enough alcohol would bring it out of her.
“You just kept talking about the colour of her hair.” Finn cried with laughter as he recalled the story to Vi that Monday back at work. She stood there in horror as he wiped his tears away. “It was just so blue.” He mimicked dramatically, earning him an elbow to the gut. The rest was history. Even when she dyed her hair black a few years later.
It now sat at a dark red overgrown mullet thing, choppy and shaggy where Powder had decided it should be. Vi’s hair had become one big experiment for her, she’d come over and perch herself in the bathroom sink, hacking away at it with scissors in a way that had at first made Vi fearful but she had now come to trust.
She tried to keep her sentimentality hidden from Powder but every time she cut Vi’s hair, Vi only saw a much younger Powder getting her hair cleaned up by Vi after she had cut it into jagged lines.
After Powder’s attempt and her falling out with Caitlyn, Vi lost herself in a way that she had never really comprehended. That version of herself came to visit her late at night when she mulled over her memories, the good ones always turning bitter in the silence of her room. The part that made it easy was that her family was so lost in their grief for someone who was still alive that no one noticed.
She had smoked before but the clutches of addiction lingered in her peripheral vision when she felt she had no one to turn to. Before she even realised it, it was no longer something she did at parties or a random lunchtime as a novelty but an untamable craving.
When Powder was away from home, Vi found herself stumbling drunk around parts of town. Countless nights sloshing around the old train station. Trying to desensitize herself from a town that had given her everything and taken it all in the same night, like the alcohol might erase the parts that hurt.
Directly after it happened, she was unable to bring herself to go into her bedroom or the bathroom at home. The absence of Powder in her bed gnawed at Vi’s conscience and the bathroom felt like it had its finger on the trigger of her trauma. She stayed at Lest’s house for 3 weeks and continued to go back there to shower for a couple of weeks after that. When she came home, she slept on the couch and used the kitchen sink to brush her teeth.
The first shower she took at home had ended with her tugging at her hair as she hyperventilated on the tile floor, her body damp and shaking as she relived that night. She had half expected Caitlyn to come bursting through the door and tell her that it was okay as she massaged shampoo into her hair that was in desperate need of a wash.
She never did and the showers got easier with time and effort.
As repayment for Lest’s hospitality in allowing Vi to invade her space for months, she had given her body as a canvas for her newfound passion for tattoos. They had laughed their way through the whole process, Lest’s room stinking of weed as the needle buzzed to life, drilling an ornately beautiful design into Vi’s skin. At 18 years old, she never questioned her friend’s hygiene practices or sources of equipment.
She loved it, the mechanisms and gears that sprawled over her back initially stopped at her shoulders but she had gone back and begged Lest to bring it down her arms. The hours she spent getting her tattoos done had grounded her in the upheaval of her life, bringing a silver lining to a miserable time. 7 years later and tattooing had become a pretty productive side hustle for Lest, Vi was honoured to be patient zero.
Weed and tattoos seemed to be a well matched pair. Alcohol and tattoos, not so much.
“Wouldn’t it be funny if you just-” Vi slurred her words and made a scribbling motion with her hand above her left cheek.
Lest hiccuped and started giggling in her chair. “Yeah.” She sighed happily.
“No, really.” Vi said.
Lest frowned but it split into a cheeky grin.
Vi wiggled her eyebrows. “Hmm?”
“Fuck it. Twist my arm.” Lest said, poking her tongue out as she got to work.
Vi didn’t even feel the needle. She woke up on Lest’s floor in the early hours of the morning and rushed to the bathroom, just making it to the toilet in time to unleash what was fighting to get out of her. She groaned and reached a hand up, pulling her weight up against the counter. When her eyes came into focus they zeroed in on the VI symbol on her face, resting below her left eye.
At first she chuckled, thinking it was permanent marker. She then steadied herself and squinted her eyes, running a finger over the lines on her face. They were slightly raised and sensitive to the touch. She screamed, waking a hungover Lest up.
She had come to the door, half dazed, hair poking out in all kinds of unnatural angles.
“Huh.” She said, looking at Vi’s cheek. “It’s kinda badass.” She then doubled over and followed Vi in suit, heaving over the toilet.
Time healed most wounds and her life had stabilised when she landed her job. It gave her something of a purpose, brought routine into her life and subdued the nasty habits that had a hold over her. She nurtured the version of herself that existed before her life had been blown apart, leaning into her passion, her wit, her want, until her same soul returned.
December meant an influx of people who had neglected their vehicles coming into the winter months. Dodgy heating systems and car batteries that had grown frigid in the cold were common occurrences. Her days were mostly filled with straightforward repairs and she loved her job, especially the atmosphere. As she put time between graduating high school and now, it often slipped her mind that it wasn’t her first choice of career.
She had broken toes, sprained fingers, burnt arms. She had determined that it was all a part of it, and made for many entertaining competitions of who has the worst injury. She currently had a chemical burn on her forearm bandaged and she winced a little as she twisted it in an awkward manner, cramped underneath a car.
She glanced over to see a tow truck approaching and squinted to see it was a McLaren being lowered into the shop.
“Huh.” She muttered to herself, curiosity over the owner sparking up within her. She amused herself with the idea of a total douche bag stepping out of the tow truck. Shiny white sneakers and all being subjected to the gravel of the car park while he held his nose in the air.
Her jaw went slack around the new piece of gum she had gotten to work on when she saw slender, toned legs step delicately out of the truck, adorned in shiny black kitten heels and sheer tights. The legs went on and on until her vision was cut off by the vehicle suspended above her head.
She felt the air slow down in the mechanics and cursed that everyone could see this mystery woman except for her. She tried to make herself feel better by telling herself that only an idiot would dress like that in the winter so she couldn’t have been missing out on too much. She got back to work, holding a screw driver between her teeth as she gutted the radiator hose from the car.
Her eyes drifted to the front of the McLaren, mangled metal taking over one corner of it. No winter tires. Not a clue in the world but the whole damsel in distress thing was kind of hot. A city girl, Vi profiled, probably not accustomed to the change in weather.
“Hey, Blue!” Sevika yelled. “You wanna make yourself useful and give this young lady a ride home?”
Vi pulled the screw driver from her mouth and her lips twirled into a grin. Whether Sevika realised she had or not, she had done wonders for Vi’s dating life over the years, many one night stands starting exactly like this.
“I am being useful.” Vi grunted back, keeping up the act. She thanked her lucky stars that it always got hot underneath a car, therefore her jumpsuit was tied around her waist, leaving only a fitted white t-shirt on her upper half.
She licked her lips and did her best job of flexing her arms as she used the car to support her momentum sliding out from under it.
The cocky facade melted away as soon as she locked eyes with the same blue ones she had stared into 7 years ago as she held her dying sister in her arms.
Her senses were invaded by Caitlyn, lavender overcoming the stench of grease in the shop, her eyes transfixed on the woman in front of her, the heat from underneath the car dissipating as goosebumps trailed down her spine.
"Holy shit."
“Vi?” Caitlyn gasped.
Notes:
i hope u enjoyed!
Chapter 13: Who We Used To Be
Summary:
Reunions.
Notes:
this is a reupload! i have talked more about my silly mistake in the end notes, but there are some minor tweaks throughout this chapter, mainly in their conversation at the end of it.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Caitlyn’s heart dropped to depths it had never known and for a moment everything went quiet. The world fell away and passed by them, watching on as their souls collided again, unsure what to make of the reunion.
Her eyes couldn’t help but absorb every detail of Vi that they could see, erasing and overriding the memory of Vi that they knew. Her face was sharper, more weathered. She felt relieved when she saw that her smile lines had deepened, staking their claim on her skin.
She had laughed. Caitlyn felt like she could have died right then and there and been content with it, knowing that the tear stained eyes she left 7 years ago had seen joy.
Her lips parted in surprise as her eyes found the tattoo underneath Vi’s eye. There were so many stories behind how Vi looked now and it shattered Caitlyn that she didn’t know any of them. Maybe her mind had spared her from any overwhelming feelings of regret for 7 years so that it could punish her now, standing face to face with the cause of her broken heart.
She was suddenly aware that everything she was noticing about Vi now, Vi was noticing about her too. She tugged at the sleeves of her shirt and shuffled her feet, unsure how to position herself under Vi’s gaze.
“Caitlyn?” Her name left Vi’s lips and knocked the wind out of her, she wasn’t sure if it sounded like a prayer or a curse. She asked like she hadn’t known it was her from the moment that she had detected a lick of lavender in the winter air.
But every memory came rushing back at the sound and her heart entered the picture again, this time it was thundering through her ribcage, her breathing tight as her mind subjected her to reliving that summer. Sunkissed skin, waterlogged ears and burning asphalt like strikes of lightning through her thoughts.
“Hi.” Caitlyn said, entirely breathless.
Vi swallowed.
The sparks that were literally flying behind Vi stopped as a machine was turned off, shrouding the shop in silence.
Vi turned around and Caitlyn followed her line of sight to see a man flip up his welding mask and frown at Caitlyn inquisitively, tilting his head that was mainly tattooed and half shaved.
“Caitlyn as in… the Caitlyn?” He asked, turning his head to Vi and narrowing his eyes.
Vi didn’t answer. It killed Caitlyn that she couldn’t see her expression at that moment.
She was staring Finn down, eyes blown wide and murderous. “Shut the fuck up.” She silently mouthed the words.
Her threats had always fallen flat on him and it horrified her to see the corners of his mouth twist upwards, a twinkle in his eye.
The damage had already been done, she looked around to see Poppy, Illaoi and Scar’s ears had all pricked up and they were looking at Caitlyn in a similar fashion to Finn.
She needed the ground to swallow her whole immediately.
“No fucking way!” Poppy squeaked, bounding straight over to Caitlyn.
Caitlyn was frozen in place, her cheeks were a shade of pink that was no longer from the cold that bit at all of their faces, her lips pressed tight together in an uncomfortable expression of awkwardness.
Poppy was more than a head shorter than Caitlyn, especially with the extra inch or two her heels gave her, which made Vi’s mouth go dry, but she could tell Caitlyn was intimidated by her.
“We’ve heard so much about you!” Poppy said excitedly, holding a small hand out to Caitlyn.
She took it wordlessly, nodding shyly as Poppy aggressively shook her long fingers, all kinds of confusion crossing her face.
“Wait… Caitlyn Caitlyn?” Sevika chirped up from behind the front desk.
“I think that’s been established.” Vi said through gritted teeth.
Sevika smirked.
“I feel like I need an autograph or something.” Scar said from across the shop, his sharp canines branded in a teasing grin.
Illaoi nudged Vi’s shoulder, the force of it knocking Vi a little, and nodded at Caitlyn. “I get it now.” She said quietly.
Vi gave her a look.
Caitlyn’s eyes were darting around the shop, confusion and panic further setting in.
Vi rolled her eyes but her neck was burning hot. She swallowed to try to generate more saliva in her mouth, the moisture being wicked away by Caitlyn’s presence. “Alright, show’s over. Leave her alone. This place doesn’t run itself.” Her voice was rough in the way that she needed it to be to end this interaction.
Poppy grumbled.
Illaoi sighed. “Always ruining the fun.” She said, a small smile tugging at her lips.
“You heard her.” Sevika warned. “Winter doesn’t wait for anyone.”
Vi gave her a grateful nod.
“They need space to grovel in their feelings.” She snorted.
Her comment earnt a collective laugh from everyone. Vi’s gratitude was replaced by a middle finger, her free hand clenching into a fist at her side. Sevika’s authority worked though, everyone skittered away, returning to their work. She could see Poppy’s eyes glancing over intermittently, surveying the situation.
Vi scratched the back of her neck and looked at Caitlyn.
“Did you want to…?” She nodded to the exit of the mechanics, which was really just a massive opening to the carpark.
Caitlyn was still rooted in the same spot, arms folded around herself. She still seemed to be caught off guard by Vi’s voice. By the fact that they were talking. She was slouching a little bit and Vi hated that. It took her back to high school. Whenever Caitlyn would do a presentation she seemed to make herself smaller, as an apology to the world for her taking up space.
She wondered what other habits she had retained or left behind over 7 years. It was weird to have known Caitlyn for 14 years but stand in front of her as a stranger in this moment. A stranger she once knew everything about.
“Oh!” She said in quiet surprise. “Yes.”
Neither of them moved for a moment. Caitlyn shivered. The movement reminded Vi that she was real and standing in front of her. It almost dismissed the urge to blink a few times and see if Caitlyn would disappear, to check if this was a deranged vision conjured up by her mind to torment her. It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Are you cold?” She asked, her eyes raking over Caitlyn. She hadn’t allowed herself to stomach how good she looked. In fact, her eyes had been instinctively averting any extended periods of contact as a way of protecting herself, unsure of what emotions it would bring to the surface.
But she looked good. A silhouette of black in a fitted turtleneck and short skirt. Prior to the embarrassment ritual held by Vi’s friends, she had held her shoulders high and back, emphasising the soft curves that spanned the length of her body. Her hair was longer, reaching the middle of her back in sheets of midnight blue. She thought about how many times it might have been cut, the length to which it was cut, envying that the world got to see it every time.
Her face had always been sharp and angular by nature but somewhere along the way it had grown more so, cheekbones protruding through pale skin, her jaw defined and slightly tensed. It was entirely befitting Caitlyn that the lines between her eyebrows had deepened with time. She pictured her on many sleepless nights, worrying them with her fingers as she pined over book after book, trying to absorb as much information as her brain would allow, cursing that she couldn’t bend the limits of the human experience in order to take in more.
Her eyes were what threw Vi the most, not because they were different but because they had remained exactly the same. No time or distance or experience could mutate the cerulean irises. Perhaps Caitlyn considered them a weakness, a built in tell of every one of her thoughts or feelings, always set on betraying any hard exterior she could build.
Vi just thought they were beautiful. Right now they were wild, swirling with so many emotions, presenting her internal conflict for the world to see.
She predicted Caitlyn’s answer.
“I’m fine.” She said, one of her feet toying with a piece of gravel on the ground. She nodded to her car. “My jackets are in there anyway.”
It had escaped Vi’s mind that Caitlyn had crossed her path not as an intentional reunion but as a complete accident. That under different circumstances they would have never seen each other again.
“Right, yeah.” Vi moved and her limbs felt foreign to her, like it took effort to figure out where to place them in order to look natural. She hoped she looked natural. Her hand hovered over her jacket that hung on a hook bolted into the tin wall of the shed. It was a navy blue, baggy thing, nestled amongst Finn’s yellow bomber jacket and Poppy’s blindingly pink coat with more pockets than one could possibly ever need.
Her hand brushed the fabric. Was this too much? Too soon?
She chewed the inside of her cheek and glanced over her shoulder to see blue eyes darting away from her, staring at a stray car tire with intense concentration. Caitlyn’s arms were still twisted around herself, pale hands turning purple at her fingertips with the cold.
Vi mentally kicked herself before grabbing the jacket. “Take this.” She said, walking up to Caitlyn, keeping her voice as neutral as she could while being acutely aware of how close she was to her now.
Caitlyn was startled, her hands immediately flinging out to reject Vi’s offer. “Oh, no. That’s fine. I’m fine.”
Vi chewed on her gum lazily and pressed the jacket into Caitlyn’s chest. She glanced down, light irises gliding across Caitlyn’s features. “Your lips are blue.”
Caitlyn sent a silent prayer to an unknown force that Vi couldn’t feel the thumping of her heart through the fabric of the jacket.
Her fingers fumbled to collect the jacket as Vi released it from her grasp and breezed past her. Caitlyn inhaled a shaky breath and unfolded it, trying to ignore that Vi was woven through every inch of fabric as she shrugged it over her shoulders. Slipping her arms into the sleeves felt a step too far. Everything between them, two people who had once known each other like they knew themselves, felt intimate in ways Caitlyn couldn’t comprehend. Didn’t want to comprehend.
She twisted herself around, feeling dizzy with just half a rotation of movement, to see Vi popping the trunk of the McLaren and yanking out Caitlyn’s duffel bag and suitcase. She was heavy handed and gentle all at once, the wheels of the suitcase being lowered to the ground softly, straps of the duffel bag clenched in her right fist.
Caitlyn realised she should probably be helping and rushed over. “You don’t have to do that.” She said hurriedly as Vi slammed the trunk shut.
“Well, you aren’t getting shit done in those.” Vi looked pointedly at Caitlyn’s shoes.
Caitlyn frowned down at them. She suddenly felt incredibly stupid, realising that the outfit she had worn to hopefully impress her parents upon arrival had come back to bite her. Kitten heels on loose gravel was just a humiliation ritual. She folded her arms and tilted her head up slightly, trying to gain back some dignity. “I’m perfectly capable of handling myself in these-”
“Hey. It’s just part of the service.” Vi cut in, trudging past Caitlyn.
Caitlyn’s mouth was agape with her little rant, she quickly lifted her jaw up, exhaling in slight frustration through her nose and following Vi.
It was like her home town had been conspiring against her, planting many things to throw her for a loop. The most recent was the cherry red Bronco in the carpark that made a satisfying clicking sound after Vi retrieved a set of keys from her pocket.
She seemed to be completely untouched by the cold, no goosebumps on tattooed skin.
As Caitlyn stepped closer to the car, heels teetering on pieces of gravel, she was back in that summer. Under the relentless sun, sitting cross legged on a towel next to the car, only Vi’s legs visible from underneath, passing her a variety of tools and wincing as sounds a car probably shouldn’t make escaped from Vi’s work.
“Get in.” Vi grunted as she lifted Caitlyn’s things into the back. Her bluntness had caught Caitlyn off guard, straying so far from the warmth she associated with Vi. And yet, she couldn’t blame her. Was there even a correct way to react when a figure from your past comes back to haunt you?
She clambered into Vi’s car, unaccustomed to the distance it was from the ground and settled into the seat, feeling like some kind of freakish imposter. The stench of smoke immediately hit the back of her throat, it was slathered all over the leather and what really struck Caitlyn is that it was somehow intoxicating.
She quietly filed all of the information Vi’s car gave her in her mind, tucking it away neatly. A red air freshener that stood absolutely no chance against the wrath of smoke in the car, there was not a hint of strawberry in the air. Some loose change in one cup holder, a stray coffee mug in the other.
The culprit of the smell was the one thing she had expected to see but couldn’t, her curiosity stretching further. The radio had been updated to a modern model that stood out against the deep brown leather interior. She let a small and fond smile slip, of course Vi had prioritised music above anything else.
The car could only give her so much information. So many questions still gnawed at her and she wished it was socially acceptable at a time like this to unleash them all at once. The driver’s side door opened and Vi hopped up and in, in a way that was clearly second nature to her.
Caitlyn chewed at her lower lip, fighting the urge to look at Vi. She fiddled with her hands, bony fingers writhing with no comfortable place to land. The engine stuttered before levelling out into a steady and loud hum.
She opened her mouth to speak, closed it again, opened it for a second time and inhaled, willing herself to speak. “Thank you for-”
The breath was snatched from her throat when Vi planted her hand on Caitlyn’s headrest and used it as leverage to check her rear window while reversing. The movement winded Caitlyn, she watched as the veins in Vi’s neck twisted under her skin, her eyes skimming over the calloused skin on her hands.
Vi turned back around, eyes now on the road ahead, they were icy in the reflection of the snow on the ground.
Caitlyn returned her own eyes to the road.
“Hm?” She asked, absentmindedly changing gears.
“Thank you for that.” Caitlyn said, her voice hoarser than she realised as she nodded to her bags in the back of the car.
“No worries.” Vi said flatly.
“And this.” Caitlyn said, nodding to the road. At this point she was looking for anything to fill the silence, to ease them into the presence of the other.
Vi paused, considering what Caitlyn was doing. “All good.” She said, eyes slightly narrowed.
She ran through many angles she could approach this conversation through, each one proving to be as unpredictable as the next. She could open with an apology. Too forward? She could ask about Vi’s coworkers' reaction to her. Too desperate? She could ask about Powder. Fuck no. She hissed at herself. That was her worst one yet.
She reached a hand out that was slightly riddled with tremors and ran it over the door’s armrest. “Is this the Bronco? The same one?” She asked, a triumphant fist pumping the air in her mind, it felt like a good place to start.
“Sure is.” Vi said, the same flat affect to her voice. The Vi that Caitlyn left would’ve launched into a spiel about the trials and tribulations of fixing a piece of junk, about the sense of accomplishment she now felt.
“How long did it take you to fix it?” Caitlyn asked, hoping that one too many irrelevant questions wouldn’t tick Vi off.
“Longer than I’d like to admit.” Vi nodded, still not looking at her passenger seat.
Caitlyn considered it progress, a sprinkling of Vi’s humour evident in her response. She ran her finger over some peeling leather, her nail snagging against the flaking pieces. “And you’d consider it worth it?” She asked, slightly teasing. She braced for Vi’s response.
Vi made a sound that would’ve been a laugh if it wasn’t Caitlyn who had made the joke. It was strangled and hesitant, like she had stopped it from blossoming into something more. She shook her head and tightened her grip on the steering wheel, her jaw ticking as she clearly reminded herself of who Caitlyn was to her now. Someone with bigger and better things to pursue than the life Vi had chosen out of necessity.
Caitlyn noticed, any nerves that had eased returned and she felt as if she was back at square one. “So… how have you been?” She asked as Vi made a left turn, meaning she had to glance in Caitlyn’s direction, her eyes expertly avoiding her. The car felt much steadier than Jayce’s as it navigated the icy roads, it must’ve been the winter tires they had spoken about. Vi wasn’t exactly a prim and proper driver either, swinging corners recklessly, always speeding. Caitlyn wouldn’t have predicted anything else.
Her knuckles turned as white as the snow that enveloped the town and she laughed this time, but it wasn’t the warm laugh Caitlyn had coined as her own. It was dry in her throat and cold, more chilling than the air that nipped at Caitlyn’s nose and turned the end pink.
Caitlyn knew what was coming next. She had kept this conversation with Vi at bay for a much shorter time than she had anticipated. She was no longer a shiny new thing that had shocked Vi with her return, the woman next to her was now flicking through her memories of hurt that were caused by Caitlyn, maybe they felt as raw as the day she left. She hoped that she hadn’t tarnished the good ones as well. She sucked in a breath.
“You come back after 7 years to what? Make some fucking small talk?” Vi asked, exasperated. It was the loudest she had spoken.
It slapped Caitlyn across the face, she took a moment to recover. “I didn’t anticipate seeing you.” She said flatly, reminding herself it was a fluke accident that led her into this car.
“In our home town? I’m glad the possibility of running into me didn’t even cross your mind.” Vi scoffed in disbelief.
“Of course it crossed my mind.” Caitlyn narrowed her eyes. It crossed her mind too many times to count on the car ride down. It had crossed her mind every day for 7 years. Inches from the mirror, reconciling with the fact that the person who stared back would be stuck wondering if she had made the wrong decision for the rest of her life. Lying in bed with someone else draped across her, staring at the ceiling and imagining it was the slats of a bunk bed in a tiny house in Zaun.
“Then what, Cait? What is this?” Vi asked, it was raw, demanding of an honest answer.
Cait.
“I don’t know how to be around you.” She admitted, exhaling as she did. Her honesty was met with hostility and this time it didn’t catch her by surprise.
“Yeah, well, no phone call, no visit, not even a fucking letter over 7 years will do that.” Vi gnawed on the inside of her cheek, her jaw tense.
Embarrassment crept up her neck at what she was about to admit but her seething rage was overcoming that pretty quickly. “I did visit and I don’t have your number.” She said quietly, and then louder, “you told me to leave. Demanded I did, actually. Slammed that fucking door in my face.”
Vi looked like she was physically restraining herself from slamming on the brakes and sending them both flying through the windscreen to spare her from rehashing the past. “I don’t want to be held to words I said when I was 18 years old. Aside from everything that was going on, I was also a child.”
“We were children.” Caitlyn hissed. “How was I supposed to know?”
“I told you that you deserved to get out of here. I never said ‘don't come back.’” Vi said, her voice was raw.
Caitlyn chuckled, it was dry. “Sorry I didn’t decipher the cryptic clues you left me.”
Vi’s jaw ticked and tensed under clenching teeth. She didn’t rise to the bait, though. Instead she circled back, realising what Caitlyn had said after the fact. “I also thought you were above lying. You never visited and-
“Once.” Caitlyn intervened, trying to savour a morsel of redemption for herself. “During my second Christmas break.”
Her heart was practically beating out of her chest that night, passing through the main street of their town, on the way to Vi’s house. She had taken Jayce’s car without him knowing, while he was out of town. She felt insane for showing up unannounced, she had created a million different scenarios in her mind of how Vi would react to seeing her. Whether she would be angry or forgiving, her heart was set on the latter if she knew Vi like she thought she did.
The street was decked out in Christmas lights, wrapped around every lamp post and glistening in the reflection of the wet road, sludgy snow pushed to the sides. She stopped at a red light, the only one in the little town and looked over to see the very same diner she had frequented with Vi on the corner of the block.
It hadn’t changed at all, a pang of nostalgia ran through Caitlyn and a smile crossed her face. Then she saw her. Sitting on a stool at the counter, that same slouch in her posture. The girl next to her was throwing her head back laughing and she was smiling at her like it was all she had ever wanted to achieve. Vi didn’t take her eyes off of her when she jumped into telling a story, that same look that Caitlyn had believed was reserved for her and she looked down to see their hands were intertwined.
The car behind Caitlyn honked at her and she jumped, speeding off and never turning back. She had made the long drive back home with tear streaked cheeks and a pit in her stomach that ridiculed her for her foolishness.
Caitlyn summarised the night to the older Vi that sat next to her, making a conscious decision to leave out details that were bound to humiliate her.
Vi’s processed what she had said. It didn’t help diffuse the situation. “So you decided to never come back based on one night?”
Caitlyn scoffed. “You seemed like you had moved on just fine. It didn’t exactly encourage me.”
“I don’t even remember who that was!” Vi’s voice was truly raised now, boiling over in annoyance.
“So you just look at every girl like that?” Caitlyn asked and immediately regretted that she did. She knew she had no right to be asking Vi such a question. She was so far out of line and yet she couldn’t hold back.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Was I just supposed to make myself available for 7 years on the off chance that you would decide to come back?” Vi spat, seeing right through Caitlyn’s entitlement.
Caitlyn’s nostrils flared. “Maybe. Since you secretly wanted me to so badly.” She said, she had already dug her grave, might as well lie in it.
Vi laughed, it was abrupt and dramatic. “You’re fucking ridiculous.”
She felt like it.
Caitlyn’s phone buzzed in her lap. A weather app notification. Of course, Vi thought. But that wasn’t what she was focused on. She was focused on Caitlyn’s background. It was a grainy photo, like it had been taken on film and then photographed later. But it was unmistakeable. A shorter woman with ginger, choppy hair was kissing Caitlyn on the cheek as she smiled at the camera, a glass of champagne in hand like they were at some fancy event.
“Speaking of moving on.” Vi muttered.
Caitlyn flipped her phone over. “We broke up.” She said, her voice stale.
“And she’s still your background? Ever considered letting people go?” Vi gave her a pointed look. She was trying to compensate for the fact that the news of Caitlyn’s break up had sent a twang of hope through her.
Caitlyn pinched the bridge of her nose. “I forgot to change it. It’s only been a few weeks.”
“Ohh, so what am I? The rebound?” Vi asked, the tinge of amusement in her voice was brutal, mocking Caitlyn’s naivety.
“Ever the optimist.” Caitlyn mumbled, snark matching snark.
Vi didn’t respond, Caitlyn knew that meant she had really ticked her over.
“I really thought this would be different.” Caitlyn admitted after a few minutes of silence, some sincerity in her voice.
“Sorry to disappoint. It would’ve been, maybe 5 years ago.” Vi quipped.
“You understand why I left, don’t you?” The question wasn’t snarky, it was pleading. “I know you told me to, but do you know why I actually followed through?”
“I think I understand that better than anyone.” Vi answered, her voice had returned to a normal volume. “I know that this place wasn’t kind to you, the people, your family. And I know how important your dream was to you. I guess I just stupidly thought that one day you’d wake up and feel like restarting.” She sighed softly, like there was some disbelief that she had admitted all of that. That made two of them.
“Vi-” Caitlyn said, a lump in her throat. There was a sudden and inconsolable urge to swallow every word she had said.
“It’s fine, Cait.” The car rolled to a stop in front of Caitlyn’s house and Vi turned it off.
“It’s not-”
“I made a stupid fucking decision when I was 18 and it will plague me forever and I will live with that.” Vi said firmly.
Caitlyn didn’t want to speak, her voice was threatening to crack if she did. She sat there and blinked away tears. Her silence felt like response enough.
“Thank you.” She eventually said, barely audible.
“No problem.” Vi said, her voice uncharacteristically solid for what she had just said.
Caitlyn dragged her suitcase out of the backseat, it clattered to the ground, almost taking her with it.
7 years ago, Vi would’ve leapt out of the car to get Caitlyn’s door and her suitcase. Now she sat there with a stoic expression on her face, staring straight ahead.
It occurred to Caitlyn that maybe Vi’s behaviour before–giving Caitlyn her jacket and loading up her bags–was because she also held the hope that this would’ve been different.
Caitlyn lingered at the door, tracing the lines etched into Vi’s face with her eyes.
Vi looked at her.
Caitlyn swallowed.
She was so beautiful.
“Can I have your number?” Vi asked.
Caitlyn blinked.
“For the mechanics.” Vi clarified. “I’ll put it in the books so they can give you a call tomorrow when your car is ready.”
“Ah.” Caitlyn said, barely audible. She punched her number into Vi’s phone wordlessly, thinking of all of the alternate universes where she gave Vi her number for a first date and not poor driving.
“Great. Not sure if I’ll see you.” Vi said with no affect in her voice.
“Right.” Caitlyn responded.
“Merry Christmas.” Vi said, igniting the engine of the car until it levelled out to a steady hum.
“Merry Christmas.” Caitlyn said, pushing the door shut.
As the car drove away, the ache in Caitlyn’s neck returned as well as the numbness in her fingers, like she had been beamed up and dropped back to reality. She stood on the side of the road for what felt like an eternity, kitten heels puncturing holes in a thin layer of snow as she finally gave up her pensiveness for the warmth of her old house, trudging her way down the long driveway. The suitcase snagged on pebbles, building her frustration at the situation.
She knocked on the front door, her cold knuckles stinging with the contact. She smoothed out her hair that was now dishevelled from the events of the day and at the last second slipped Vi’s jacket off of her shoulders and tucked it between the straps of her duffel bag. If she smelt like smoke she would never hear the end of it. It took her back to sneaking around with Vi during the summer, hiding pairs of socks and hoodies she borrowed under her bed.
She sighed quietly. This was all wrong.
Her father pulled the door open. “Darling!” He said, extending his arms for a hug.
“Hi.” She said, accepting the gesture.
She took what she could with her parents, even if they really only recognised the value of her presence after she had spent time away. It was a more agreeable relationship than what she had endured as a child. They also worked less now which suited them, brought them back to functioning like real people.
“Did you get driven here?” He frowned, looking past her shoulder to see no cars in the driveway.
“Uh…” She said. “Technically.”
He arched an eyebrow.
“I crashed Jayce’s car.” She confessed.
“What?” Her mother’s shrill voice startled her. “Oh my. Are you okay?” She gripped her upper arms and scanned over her daughter with her eyes. “Does she look okay?” She asked Tobias as she pressed the back of her hand to Caitlyn’s forehead.
Caitlyn shooed her hand away. “Last time I checked, car crashes don’t give you a fever. I’m fine, I promise. Black ice.”
Her father nodded pensively. “You need winter tires around here this time of year.”
“So I’ve heard.” Caitlyn said through gritted teeth.
Her mother sighed wistfully and pulled her into a hug. It was a little rigid but Caitlyn appreciated the effort.
“I’m going to unpack, have a shower.” She said.
“Yes, yes. Get settled.” Her father said.
Caitlyn ascended the stairs. “Also, do not tell Ximena about Jayce’s car. He’ll kill me if he finds out.” She narrowed her eyes at her parents who nodded silently.
Her house had not changed one bit, her parents were very set in her stylistic choices. There was nothing new to look at so instead it made her nauseous with nostalgia, the vomit threatening the back of her throat as her hand skimmed the golden doorknob to her room.
It looked entirely untouched, aside from new bedding that she imagined had been arranged for her by her mother. It was stripped of everything she had taken to university, which was now scattered across the penthouse in boxes, most of it dated and only holding sentimental value.
Her canopy bed sat in the middle of it, curtains framing it. Columns sat on either side of it lining the huge room that had vaulted ceilings, a skylight at the the pinnacle of it. Pale green and lavender had been the colours chosen by her when she was little and they still remained splashed across the entire room.
Vi was still on her mind, she feared that she would be for the entirety of her holiday getaway. It seemed less like a getaway now and more like psychological warfare.
She knew what she wanted to look at from the moment she had stepped foot in the house, no matter how much it hurt. So she slipped off her shoes and padded across the floor, crouching down beside her bed and scanning the contents underneath it.
Her eyes locked in on the box. A dull brown thing, sturdy cardboard encasing the memories. She poked her tongue out as she angled her arm awkwardly to retrieve it, huffing as she did. A cloud of dust scattered through the air as she dusted off the top of the box.
She plopped down on her bed, tucking her legs underneath her chin.
She opened it slowly, breathing low and steady as she did. It was nearly full of photos, polaroids and developed film photos, digital photos they had gotten printed. She swallowed as trembling fingers picked up a photo that sat on top. She flipped it over, closing her eyes as she did before fluttering them open.
Vi was holding the camera in front of them, the lower left corner slightly blurred by a poorly placed finger. Neither of them were looking at the camera, only at each other. Vi was pulling a face, her mouth open in amused shock. Caitlyn’s nose was scrunched in her reaction, her eyes gleaming as she looked at Vi. It was taken at the lookout on that very night, the setting sun drenching them in golden light.
Caitlyn felt sorry for those girls. She hated that she did. That this wasn’t a moment of peaceful reflection but one of sorrow. Just an hour later, their lives would change irrevocably. But right now there was a sparkle in Vi’s eyes that Caitlyn wished she had held in her hand and kept it safe forever. She wished that those eyes would’ve never known a day of pain.
A tear splashed against their faces, sending little droplets across the photo. She sniffed and wiped it with her sleeve, squinting at the photo to ensure it had done no damage. If she had lost Vi, she couldn’t afford to lose a single memory of her.
The drive back to work was a silent one, Vi couldn’t think of a song that fitted a moment like this so the radio sat untouched.
She was tossing up whether or not she was fucking crazy because she knew that the mechanic already had Caitlyn’s number, that she had written it down on the paperwork they gave to every single customer. But she had gone 7 years with no way to contact Caitlyn and didn’t want to endure 7 more. Even if she never dialed that number.
The gum she was slinging her jaw against was doing nothing to calm her. She grumbled and pulled her sun visor down. She rarely looked at the photo she had tucked into the corner of the mirror, but she hadn’t taken it down in 7 years either.
Caitlyn had put it there after Vi had finished upholstering the interior of the car during the summer. The first ever polaroid taken of them stared at Vi.
Their faces were equally as flustered under the flash of the camera light. Vi’s hands already sat so naturally on Caitlyn, twisted around her back. A fresh bruise was forming on Vi’s face, it was barely visible now. The sun had faded the photo over time, it was part of the reason why Vi barely pulled the visor down now, opting for her sunglasses instead during the summer.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and slammed the visor back up, drumming her thumb aggressively against the steering wheel.
Notes:
this is a reupload after some editing because someone graciously pointed out that their conversation in this chapter didn't really line up with how their break up went down. i had this conversation down as one of the first things i wrote for this fic (prior to writing the break up) and got so used to it that i failed to tweak it properly for continuity. so thank you to that person <3 i hope this was better suited.
Chapter 14: Cakewalk
Summary:
The fallout of that one doomed relationship coming back to haunt you.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“So we go back to his place, one thing leads to another…” Margot said over her drink, long black fingernails curled around the martini glass, a smug look on her face.
Lest was enthralled, her hands on the edge of the table as she leaned in, nodding excitedly. Margot had a way with telling stories.
Gert looked disgusted, her arm around the back of Lest’s chair, her face flicking to confusion at her fiancé’s investment in the story.
Their wedding was a week from the day, skirting dangerously close to Christmas as they had been consistently reminded but they had insisted on a big winter wedding. They had spent much of the night talking about it, or Lest had. It was to be on her uncle’s estate about 2 hours away in Noxus. 'The more, the merrier' might as well have been the slogan for the celebration with what felt like half of their hometown attending.
Vi was slumped back in her chair, eyes glazed over as she stared at a circle of water left by a drink on the sticky wooden table. Her thoughts had allowed her no rest since she had seen Caitlyn, even alcohol wasn’t assisting. It felt weird just knowing that she was in town right now.
“So we’re going at it, the room is dingy as fuck, I’m kind of like wondering if I should take a blacklight to it. Shit would light up like a Christmas tree.” She lingered a singular fingernail on the table to make her point, a flat cadence to her voice but a gleeful sheen to her eyes.
The beauty of The Last Drop is that it was never quiet, meaning heinous stories like this could be shared to their full potential. The snow was persistent outside, twinkling lights were hazy through the fogged up windows. But it was so warm inside, bustling with people, some vile symbols had been drawn in the condensation on the windows, Vi had watched Mylo and Claggor’s disgust from behind the bar with amusement.
Margot paused for comedic effect and Lest cackled loudly, banging the table with a flat palm. Gert shuddered.
Vi snickered at that, couldn’t really help it.
“Look at Vi laughing like some chick hasn’t sat here and told the exact same story about her.” Gert shook her head. They had sensed something was up and had been trying to crack her melodramatic facade all night.
“Hey!” Vi protested, her voice a little whiney, offence etched into all of her features.
“Oh, look at her now.” Gert snorted.
Vi turned her head and scratched the side of her face that Gert could see with her middle finger, making a lazy show of it.
“Back to me.” Margot said impatiently.
Vi and Gert both huffed. Margot ignored them.
“So we’re going at it and there’s a knock at the door. Mind you, this motherfucker doesn’t have a car.”
“Ew.” Gert chimed in.
“Right?” Margot said, arching a bleached eyebrow. “So he doesn’t have a car, from the outside of his stupid unit there could be no one there. So I’m saying ‘just leave it, leave it’ like we’re about to wrap things up, you know?”
Lest nodded enthusiastically.
Gert looked at her and then at Vi with a ‘what the fuck?’ look.
Vi shrugged loosely.
“But no, he gets up, throws on a pair of pants, still hard.” She says with emphasis on every syllable. “And I’m just laying there fully naked like ‘what the fuck just happened?’” She surveys her audience. “Anyway, 30 seconds later, I hear ‘babe, it’s my grandma! Come say hi!’”
Lest’s jaw drops. Even Gert is a bit invested at this point, leaning forward slightly in her seat.
“Which, first of all, I met him about an hour prior. Babe?” She shakes her head in disapproval.
“And I thought lesbians moved fast.” Gert murmurs.
Vi smirked.
“So I’m scrambling over to the window, trying to open it. I’ve taken the sheets with me. This thing will not budge. The shit is locked shut. And I’m getting desperate. Pulling on my pants as I race to the bathroom. That’s how I got this.” She points to a faintly purple spot in her hairline. “I fell and hit it on the fucking bed frame. So I’m like half blind, half naked, and the bathroom window is locked too!”
“No!” Lest yells out in disbelief.
“Yes!” Margot yells back.
“Jesus Christ.” Gert says. “Why’s he got it locked down like a prison?”
“That’s what I’m saying!” Margot said, before taking a sip from her martini and sighing. Silence fell over the group.
Lest was sitting there happily, picking at a splinter of wood on the table. Vi was back to her state of passivity.
Gert frowned. “Wait… so what did you do?”
Margot looked at her from the corner of her eye and swallowed her sip. She shrugged, cradling the glass. “Doesn’t matter.”
Lest looked up, her attention snagged again. “What did you do?”
Margot mumbled something barely audible, a dismissive look on her face.
Lest pushed her shoulder, a teasing grin spread across her face. “Oh my God. What did you do!”
“I had tea with his Grandma.” Margo said quietly before looking up to the ceiling and sighing.
Vi raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t peg you as the family oriented type.”
“Oh, fuck off.” Margot sneered.
Lest and Gert were howling with laughter, banging the table with enthusiasm. “You’re a fucking idiot.” Gert said as she wiped a tear away.
“Well, what would you have done?” Margot pleaded, her dignity slowly being stripped away with every hiccup of laughter.
Gert pondered the question for a moment, drumming her bitten down nails on the table. “Play dead.” She said seriously, smiling as Lest burst out laughing again.
Vi gave Gert a silent fist bump.
Margot sighed. “She was a very nice lady, okay?” Irritation was written all over her face as the laughter slowly died down, until it was unable to be discerned from the rowdy atmosphere that surrounded them.
They had kept the tradition of weekly drinks alive since the joint had been rebranded, Vi’s family running the place meant free drinks as long as they didn’t abuse that privilege. It was typically something she looked forward to after a demanding work week, but tonight she couldn’t think of anything worse.
She wondered if they could smell Caitlyn on her. It wasn’t like they had touched, but the smell of lavender was still clinging to her senses, something she couldn’t shake no matter how hard she tried. Sevika’s comment about needing space to grovel in her feelings was ringing true in her ears.
She was angry and she was even more angry that up until speaking to Caitlyn, her anger had been entirely displaced. In the few hours since she had seen Caitlyn, she had managed to envision the past 7 years if she hadn’t cut contact with Caitlyn 7 years ago in a whirlwind of emotion. Every year she pictured stung a little more than the last, visions of them together ridiculing her.
“So, will we be seeing family man again?” Lest asked Margot.
Margot shifted in her seat, hesitant to answer. “Something… may have been arranged, yes.”
“Oh my God.” Lest squealed, pointing a finger at Margot in shock. “Never in all my years.”
“The sex was good!” Margot whined.
“Yeah, my favourite part was when his grandma joined.” Gert snorted.
A sharp thud could be heard under the table, followed by Gert wincing. Margot had delivered a blow to her shin.
“Okay, okay.” Gert whined. Lest patted her thigh gingerly.
The table fell into silence, Margot took a sip of her drink and nodded to Vi while looking at Lest and frowned.
Lest raised her shoulders. “I don’t know.” She mouthed.
Margot chewed on one of her long nails. “So…” She finally said, looking at Vi. “Big day?”
Lest rolled her eyes. “Nice.” She mouthed.
Margot sneered
“Yeah.” Vi grunted.
“Anything of note to share?” Lest asked sweetly.
Vi glanced at her. “No.” She said firmly.
Margot chewed on her bottom lip. “Any… cool cars?”
Vi narrowed her eyes. “When have you ever asked me that?”
“Now?” Margot said innocently.
“No, no cool cars.” Vi mumbled, her shoulders tense, one of her legs bobbing up and down incessantly under the table.
Gert had been watching the whole thing like a tennis match, her brown eyes darting between her friends in streaks of purple and blue, Lest always did her eyeliner for a night out. She cleared her throat dramatically.
“Alright. Cut the shit. What’s going on?” She stared Vi down, awaiting her answer.
“Nothing.” She said slowly, annunciating each syllable.
“Bullshit.” Margot piped up. “You’ve been moping all night.”
“Mhm.” Lest hummed.
Vi chuckled, it was dry. “Alright. Whatever this little intervention is,” she waved a finger between her friends, “it’s not going to work.”
“So there is something?” Margot asked, mouth slightly agape.
“Sure.” Vi grunted. “Because what I just said indicates that there is.”
“Oh, there so is.” Margot smirked.
Vi swigged back the last sip of her beer. “I’m going to the bathroom.” She said, sliding her chair back with her knees as she stood up.
“We’ll still be here when you get back!” Margot yelled over the music that filled the gap between them as Vi walked away.
“Don’t I know it.” Vi mumbled.
The bathrooms were retro, checkerboard tile and records of their favourite rock bands all over the walls. The stalls had been graffitied to the point of no return but it was encouraged, a basket of markers hung up next to the mirror. It meant that the rooms were now time capsules.
Vi gripped the edge of the sink with the heels of her hands and stared at herself. Even her face told the story of Caitlyn. The scar on her lip deepened from the night they first kissed. The tattoo under her eye that she got during a night she spent drinking trying to forget her. She groaned and turned the tap on, a loud squeak ringing out through the bathroom. She splashed cold water over her face and sighed, watching it drip from the tip of her nose.
She thought about how good a cigarette would be right now. If she had one, she’d light it up in the bathroom with no regard for the smoke alarm. She cursed her level of desperation. Instead she grabbed her phone out of her pocket with her dry hand, feeling the weight of it in her hand. It felt heavier since it gained Caitlyn’s number.
Her thumb hovered over the call button. She wasn’t even sure how she had got to it. It was now a stand off between the nausea that crept up the back of her neck and her thumb that moved ever so close to the screen.
What would she even say? Would Caitlyn even pick up? What would Caitlyn even say?
She hummed, low in the back of her throat, an external manifestation of the decision that was plaguing her in an alcohol buzzed state. As her thumb drifted closer she envisioned herself throwing the phone in the toilet to make the decision for her. She thought of Caitlyn’s accent lilting through the phone and her stomach twisted.
It was a mere millimetre away, if someone was to nudge her shoulder, her finger would slip and tap the button. She gnawed on the inside of her cheek, the hand wrapped around the phone quivered with effort. To hit it or not, she was unsure.
“What the fuck are you doing?” She whispered to herself.
The bathroom door opened and the tenseness in her shoulders dissipated as her head snapped up, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. She exhaled, it was a stranger that entered, a girl with mousy brain hair staring at Vi’s contemplative expression with curiosity.
Vi nodded weakly and brushed past the girl, turning her phone off with a click and shoving it back into her pocket.
Before the events of the day unfolded maybe she would’ve made a flirty remark about the girl’s eyes, she was pretty, maybe something would have developed. But Caitlyn had a way with being entirely consuming, a cataclysmic presence to Vi’s charm, and the thought hadn’t crossed her mind.
She forgot she was at the bar with people, almost turning her feet to the door before she was reminded by a flash of Margot’s white hair. She grumbled under her breath, they had probably been conjuring up all kinds of outlandish tales to excuse her melancholia.
She would bet money on none of them involving Caitlyn. For she had grown incredibly good at burying all of this deep under the surface to the point where she could almost forget that it was there. And she was proud of this, because 6 years ago it would have been their first guess.
She slumped back into her chair, ignoring all the expectant eyes on her. She watched solemnly as condensation trickled down her half empty glass. Her shoulders sank.
“She’s back.” Her voice was flat, laced with defeat. There was no point in fighting the inevitable.
“Oh.” Lest whispered. Nothing else had to be said to the girl who had been there since the very beginning and seen the end in all of its horror.
Gert frowned and looked up, racking her brain for who ‘she’ could be. “Wait. Who?”
Margot had a similar expression.
Lest exhaled and looked to Vi for permission.
Vi nodded.
“Caitlyn.” Lest said quietly.
“Shit.” Margot and Gert said in unison, realisation setting in.
“How do you know?” Lest asked.
“She crashed her fucking car.” Vi said somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “She was at work.”
She was met with silence, just sorry eyes looking at her.
“I know it’s stupid.” Vi said.
“What?” Gert frowned.
“It’s been so long, I mean I’m too old for this shit. To care.” Vi admitted.
“Hey, no one is saying that.” Lest said firmly.
“I am.” Vi laughed.
A few loaded beats passed.
“How was it seeing her?” Lest asked gently.
Vi rolled her neck back and groaned.
“That bad?” Margot asked.
She couldn’t be honest. Not entirely. To say that Caitlyn being back in their hometown had placed her entire world on a tilt would be social suicide. To put things into perspective for her friends, they had only dated for 3 months as teenagers and the relationship had broken down under unfortunate circumstances. To Vi, it was so much more.
“I snapped at her.” Vi said, running a hand over her mouth, it was embarrassing to admit.
Lest sucked in a breath. “Why?” She asked the question so carefully. She had always avoided jumping to conclusions, Vi had appreciated it more than she could know over the years. Where Vi was always ready to grovel in self punishment, Lest was ready to hear every side of the story, sitting pensively as she did.
“I was just so… angry? But not at her, maybe a little bit at her. But really at myself. But I was so angry. And then I was angry at myself for being angry.” She was talking in circles, her emotions chasing their tails. “Do you know what I mean?”
Her eyes felt strained and heavy when she looked up and was met with sorrowful, bewildered expressions.
Lest hummed.
“I told her that she was ‘fucking ridiculous.’” She said.
Gert swallowed, she had taken the backseat, allowing her fiancé to lead the charge.
“Oh, you snapped at her.” Margot said, her eyes wide.
“I did say that.” Vi’s teeth were gritted. She was entirely aware of the weight of her actions, it was just hearing other people’s reactions that was rubbing salt in the wound.
Lest placed a hand on the table and nodded, clearing her throat. “Look, it’s probably not the best way to react but emotions were probably running high, call it heat of the moment.” She shrugged.
Vi would love to accept that and move on with her life. “But how many times can I use that excuse? I did 7 years ago and now it’s coming back to bite me. I’m just a loose fucking cannon.” She tugged at the shorter tufts of her hair absentmindedly.
Lest waved a hand through the air dismissively. “I think you’re too harsh on yourself…”
Vi shot her a look.
“But anyway, what’s done is done, you can’t take back what you said, so it’s about what you do now.” She nodded through her own words, like she had come up with them on the fly and somehow formed a sentence to her own surprise.
Vi looked at her blankly.
“So… what’s the plan?” Margot asked smugly.
Vi twirled her empty glass on the table between her fingers, staring at it. “Try not to think about it, she’ll leave and it will all blow over.” She exhaled.
The table studied her intensely. They exchanged some looks, Vi didn’t look up, she could fill in the blanks of what they were communicating with silence.
“Okay.” Lest breathed out gently.
She stopped spinning the glass and her eyebrows pinched together. She looked up. “Okay?”
Lest shrugged. “Do you want us to fight you on it?”
Vi squinted her eyes like a cat backed into a corner. She paused, her answer teetering on the tip of her tongue. She shifted in her seat. “No.”
“So… we won’t.” Lest smiled. Margot nodded in agreement. Gert’s face was morphed into something sly that made Vi uneasy.
“...Right.” Vi said, standing up and pulling her jacket off of the back of her chair.
“You’re leaving?” Margot asked.
“Yeah.” Vi grunted, slipping one of her arms into its sleeve.
“It’s like 10.” She stated flatly.
“Gotta get my beauty sleep.” Vi winked as she adjusted her collar.
“Sounds about right.” Margot muttered.
Vi turned to Lest. “Can I bum a smoke?”
Lest sucked her teeth. “Don’t have any.”
A laugh escaped her throat. “You’re a terrible liar.”
Lest rolled her eyes and fished through the pocket of her own jacket. “Here.” She said begrudgingly, holding out her hand.
“Cheers.” Vi said, pinching the cylinder. “Light me up?”
“Why can’t you just buy your own fucking pack?” She grunted as she retrieved a pink lighter from the same pocket.
Gert watched her with a gleam in her eyes.
Vi leant forward, holding still as Lest flicked the lighter and the end of the cigarette came to life. Vi inhaled deeply. “I quit.” She smirked, releasing the smoke in a steady stream.
“Vi!” Mylo screeched from behind the bar, making a shooing motion with his hand.
“Sorry!” She yelled back, pulling the door to The Last Drop open and immediately being met with a wall of cold. “See you.” She nodded to her friends.
They waited for the door to shut behind Vi, watching as her red hair and a spot of orange embers faded into the night.
Gert shook her head and chuckled.
Lest sighed happily and leaned into her.
Margot speared the olive left in her glass with a toothpick. “Cakewalk.” She grinned, tooth gems gleaming under the dance floor lights.
“You think she’s okay to drive?” Lest paused her scheming to ask.
“She’d still have her wits about her with alcohol poisoning.” Margot waved a dismissive hand.
Vi walked lazily to her car, a permanent frown etched its way into her features when she wasn’t entertained by her friends. Since seeing her today, Caitlyn never strayed far from her mind, a thought that Vi was keen to get rid of. It had been years since she had lingered so fiercely, opting for the occasional torment instead.
She pursed her cigarette between her lips as she rubbed her hands together in the dim light of the car, trying to generate some warmth before putting the key in the ignition. Times like these made her debate quitting cold turkey, having to keep a window rolled down for smoke to escape her already smoke infested car. She rolled down the window.
To her dismay, when she moved into her unit she discovered the fastest way there from the middle of town took her past the Kiramman mansion. She had trained her eyes to avert themselves when she passed by, never lurking for more than half a second.
They always snagged on the same windows. Caitlyn’s bedroom. She had become well acquainted with the windows, having climbed out of them on a couple of occasions.
Lavender curtains fell around them, casting them in a purple glow as the summer sun streamed through Caitlyn’s windows.
Vi laid between Caitlyn’s legs, their hips connected. One of her hands held Caitlyn’s cheek, stopping her midnight blue hair from tangling itself between their lips, the other planted her hips in their rightful spot.
Caitlyn peppered Vi’s jawline with pecks before sinking into deeper kisses across her neck, every one eliciting a groan from Vi’s throat, open mouthed and slow. She whined, her hips bucking against Caitlyn’s as she got hold of Caitlyn’s jaw, feverishly redirecting her to her lips. Caitlyn sighed with laughter at her desperation, it was snatched from her throat when Vi’s tongue skimmed her lips.
Caitlyn froze, the absentminded movement of her hips stilling.
Vi’s eyes flitted open and she frowned. Caitlyn sat up, placing a hand on Vi’s chest as she went to follow her. Vi groaned, collapsing into the pillows.
“Sh.” Caitlyn hissed, clapping a hand over Vi’s mouth.
It was unmistakable, the click of heels progressing up the stairs, heading straight for Caitlyn’s room.
Their eyes met in a moment of panic.
“Shit.” Caitlyn jumped off of Vi in a whirlwind of limbs, her feet finding the ground beside the bed.
Vi jumped up the moment Caitlyn had freed her. “What do we do?” She whispered frantically from the other side of the bed.
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Caitlyn’s eyes darted around the bedroom.
The click of heels was growing louder, echoing through the empty house like a ticking clock.
For such a huge room, it offered up no hiding spots at that moment.
Vi twisted around, staring at one of the arched windows that spanned the length of the wall.
“Do these open?” She asked Caitlyn without turning around.
“Are you crazy?” Caitlyn hissed. “You’ll break a leg.”
Vi shook her head. “I’ll drop onto the roof, I can figure it out from there.” She turned around and arched an eyebrow at Caitlyn.
Caitlyn opened her mouth to refuse Vi’s proposal.
“Caitlyn!” Cassandra’s voice sung out, it was close. Too close.
Caitlyn glared at Vi momentarily before rushing over to the window. “I’m just getting changed!” She yelled in the direction of the door as her hands found the latch of the window.
Vi helped her slide the window open. She winced as the hinges squeaked with effort. “You sure this won’t decapitate me?”
Caitlyn laughed despite the situation. “That’s probably my mother’s ideal outcome.”
Vi grinned. “Doesn’t surprise me.”
“Why are you getting changed? It’s noon.” Her mother was practically outside the door.
Caitlyn worried her lower lip as Vi threw a leg over the window sill. “I… went swimming!”
“Nice.” Vi muttered.
Caitlyn shoved her shoulder. “Hurry up.”
“I’m going, I’m going!” Vi smirked. She lowered her feet onto the roof, shifting her weight to get a feel for it.
“I’ll call you. Don’t fall.” Caitlyn said, her hands on the window, ready to slide it shut.
Vi reached up and brushed Caitlyn’s swollen lip with her thumb. “Good swim?”
Caitlyn turned a deep shade of red and nodded shyly.
There was a short rap at the door.
“Go!” She whispered.
It was all very dramatic. She found her foot lingering on the brake as her car rolled past Caitlyn’s house.
The windows were lit up. For the first time in 7 years. She sighed, allowing her mind to drift to what she could be doing.
Maybe she was curled up in bed and reading, the canopy keeping her safe from the statues she thought were monsters when she was little.
She chuckled at their Shakespearean love, a younger Vi rolling an ankle after underestimating the drop from the first story roof. She did it again a couple weekends later.
Her stomach twisted, she blew a stream of smoke into the night air from her dying cigarette and kept driving.
“I’m not an idiot, I never disregarded the possibility of seeing her, but it’s just my luck that she was basically the first person I saw.” Caitlyn shook her head, chewing at her thumbnail.
She was sitting at the head of her bed, phone pressed to her ear, locking eyes with the box of photos that still sat at the end of her bed.
“It’s definitely not what I expected when you called. Maybe a rant about Cassandra would be more befitting your holiday travels.” Mel said with a flicker of amusement.
Caitlyn sighed. “What I wouldn’t give to be ranting to you about my mother right now.” She gave a half hearted laugh.
Mel laughed and then hummed knowingly. “Well… maybe it’s a sign.” There was a barely detectable amount of optimism in her tone that Caitlyn despised.
“You did not just say that.” Caitlyn groaned, fiddling with the seam of her quilt cover.
“Come on Cait.” Mel nagged.
“No way!” Caitlyn said defiantly. “It’s the universe’s vendetta against me.”
“Against the future lawyer who was born into wealth?” She teased.
“Mhm.” She could hear Mel’s breathy laugh.
“Did she look good?” She asked.
Caitlyn paused and considered her words. A glimpse of tattooed arms flexed and spattered with oil arrived at the forefront of her mind. She swallowed. “Yes.” She admitted.
Mel laughed, it was rich and loud now. “You’re so fucked.”
Notes:
sorry if you thought this was a lost fic, it's just been busy times and i've been trying to decide exactly what i want to do with the rest of this story so this is a sweet little chapter that develops some relationships and plot more.
hope you enjoyed!
Chapter 15: Swallow Your Ego
Notes:
you know i had to drag it just a little bit longer.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was entirely disorienting for Caitlyn to wake up in her childhood room. She frowned at the ceiling, her eyes flicking around the room in a mild state of panic before the events of yesterday came rushing back and she exhaled a breath.
Then she found herself missing that moment of blissful unawareness when her eyes first opened. She was grateful that the day left her so exhausted that her brain hadn’t conjured up any evil dreams, it was a peaceful sleep and yet she didn’t feel rested.
Her mattress was far too soft, leaving her suffocated under the feather quilt. She kicked it off and huffed, questioning how she endured it for so many years. The temperature of the house always remained steady, much unlike her home in Piltover where no one would remember to adjust the thermostat.
There was a curt knock at the door.
She ran a hand over her face. “Yes!” She said, already irritated by the invasion of space having been conscious for barely 5 minutes.
“Sweetheart!” Her mother swept into the room, a pencil skirt and blouse already clad, holding a tray delicately in her hands.
Caitlyn bolted upright, pulling the strap of her tank top that had slid off back over her shoulder. “Mother!” She said in horror. This was not normal.
She paid no attention, laying the tray down next to Caitlyn. A bowl of fruit, a glass of orange juice and a buttered croissant were arranged neatly across it. Caitlyn stared at it in shock before she was swiftly blinded by light cascading through her windows. It was that bright winter light that reflected off of the snow and dazzled. Caitlyn squinted her eye closest to the windows and peered at the silhouette of her mother as her eyes slowly adjusted.
Her face was bright, the same gapped teeth that Caitlyn had grinning at her.
“What is all of this?” Caitlyn asked groggily.
“Breakfast!” She clapped her hands together excitedly. “And then, once you’re ready,” her mother’s face faltered a little as it scanned Caitlyn’s tousled hair, “I was thinking we could go to the market together in town and we can buy things to make dinner tonight.”
“Ah.” Caitlyn said.
So much for a relaxing holiday getaway.
She was just now realising that her parents were nearing retirement, a day she never thought would come, and she had never witnessed her parents with free time on their hands. It seemed to be doing her mother well though, she had nearly aged backwards. The tenseness in her eyebrows had packed on at least 5 years for Caitlyn’s childhood. It was gone now.
“Good?” She asked, but Caitlyn could tell by the glint in her eyes that it was less of a question and more of an expectation.
“Mhm.” Caitlyn channelled as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
“Great.” Her mother said, her heels already clicking towards the door. “Let’s say 10.” She beamed at Caitlyn with her hand on the door.
Caitlyn picked up one half of her croissant and waved it enthusiastically at her mother. “Let’s.”
The door shut with an echoing thud.
The tension in Caitlyn’s shoulders released, she took a defeated bite from her croissant. It dropped little flakes of pastry on her bedsheet. She sighed and flipped her phone over on her bedside table.
9:17.
Having been traumatised from being severely underdressed the day prior, Caitlyn now stood in front of the mirror in her room with barely mobile arms due to the extensive layering going on.
Two layers of socks, thermal tights under jeans, a long sleeve, a cardigan, a leather jacket, gloves and a scarf tucked around her neck and almost reaching the tip of her nose. She forgot to bring a beanie.
Once she had reached the bottom of the stairs, her clothes rustling around her as she descended, her father looked up from his newspaper on the couch.
“I didn’t know you were skiing today.” He said as he stood up, a pink tint to his cheeks after sitting by the fireplace in the foyer.
“What?” Caitlyn said, her eyebrows shooting up.
“I’m teasing.” He said, chuckling. “You’re just dressed for it.”
“Oh.” Caitlyn looked down at herself shyly. “I’m not used to the cold here.”
“I know. I wish you were.” Tobias said, giving her a small peck on the cheek.
“Hm.” Caitlyn hummed, that familiar feeling of guilt blooming in her stomach. Although she had learnt to live with it, there was always a part of her that questioned the relationship she had decided to have with her hometown. The tenseness and distance of it all often left her pondering alternate universes where she was well acquainted with it.
She had continued to sift through some old photo albums the night before, trying to push the feelings of sorrow for the girl who left her hometown aside. In almost every photo, she could pinpoint a kind of sadness in her eyes, whether she was in a leotard or holding an award, nothing could break it.
Her mother had thrown a black trench coat over her outfit, looking villainous in a way that contrasted the kiss her father planted on her cheek. She smiled, a rare and soft one. Despite their woeful attempts at parenting Caitlyn, she still believed that they were truly soulmates and had such love in their hearts.
She expected a car to be waiting for them outside and her eyebrows raised in surprise at the opening of one of the garage doors. She descended the stairs to see a sleek, black thing inside. Upon closer inspection it was a Porsche. Of course.
“You drive now?” She asked her mother, extending a hand to help her down the last few stairs. She would never give up her heels as daily attire.
“Don’t act so surprised.” Her mother said, but there was no malice in her tone.
As it turns out, her mother was a terrible driver. Somehow they were bunny hopping in an automatic, her foot jumping from the brake to the accelerator with no remorse.
Caitlyn kept her mouth shut at the risk of being called a hypocrite, since she would be driving them if her car wasn’t at the mechanic’s right now needing repairs.
There was something that simultaneously uneased and comforted her about going back to the shop and seeing Vi. She would be lying if she said she didn’t crave closure, that she hadn’t spent her shower that morning thinking about how the conversation between her and Vi should’ve gone. She had dissected every word, every microexpression, found out that she could read Vi just as well as she had been able to when they were 18.
“Do you remember Vi?” She asked aloud.
The car jolted, her mother involuntarily pushing down on the brake. That answered her question.
The last time Caitlyn had mentioned Vi was the day that they had met their end. Her body was ravaged by heartbreak, she spent her moving day in bed, salt streaming onto her pillow, tears blurring all of the wonderful new experiences she was supposed to be having.
“I saw her. At the mechanic’s. She works there.” Caitlyn looked at the driver’s seat, her mother’s eyebrows were pinched.
“Oh.” She responded simply. “And how was that?”
Caitlyn debated sugarcoating her answer, chalking it up to some awkwardness created by time apart, but in truth it wasn’t awkward at all, it was raw and real in ways that had shocked her to her core.
“Bad.” She admitted, exhaling a light laugh from her nose.
Her mother looked at her curiously. “How so?”
“We were both so… angry.” She found the word after some searching.
Cassandra frowned. “What does she have to be angry about?” She wasn’t immediately jumping into her overbearing, protective voice and Caitlyn appreciated that.
Vi’s words reverberated through her mind. I was 18 and it will plague me forever and I will live with that.
“I don’t know.” She answered instead.
Cassandra hummed, the car came to an aggressive stop before turning.
“Well, I’m sure emotions are high for the both of you.” She said, almost dismissively.
Caitlyn tilted her head. She had expected her mother to question Vi’s reaction, or question Caitlyn even bringing her up. “Really?”
“Yes.” She said, confident in a way that made Caitlyn’s heart thud a little bit harder. She remained quiet but pensive.
She could feel cerulean eyes on her and eventually had to give in and meet them with her own, out of fear that if her mother spent anymore time without her eyes on the road, they might have a repeat of yesterday’s events.
They were searching her face in a knowing way, she smiled and sighed softly before returning them back to the road. “I had never seen you so upset in my life until that day. And I haven’t since. I thought I would have to physically drag you out of your bed to get you to university.”
Caitlyn laughed, it was nostalgic and sad.
“God, I didn’t know what to do with you.” Her mother laughed lightly.
Caitlyn could attest to her comments, there were things she had experienced that perhaps should have felt more harrowing. The mere existence of Vi eclipsed them all. The loss of her created something else entirely.
The market was something out of a movie. A layer of crisp snow surrounded the stalls, the portable heaters inside of each generating enough warmth to make it bearable. They were lined up in little rows and paths in a park, decorated sweetly with red and green.
She had already accrued quite the collection of ornaments and baked goods, peering over her scarf at every stall, the tip of her nose growing pink. Her mother was more on a mission, filtering through only what she needed, so they had diverged paths. Caitlyn could see her in the distance, inspecting a loaf of bread.
She smiled and turned back to the stall she was at, her eyes roaming over an array of gingerbread cookies. A hand entered her field of vision, at first she was alarmed that it was bare, pale and slender in the cold. Her eyes widened even more at the bare wrist that was attached to it and then they squinted at the scar that wrapped around the arm, tangled and white.
She gasped and looked up, only to be met with wild blue eyes. They flicked immediately with recognition.
“Caitlyn?” Powder asked in disbelief.
“Pow-” Her name died in her throat as Powder slammed into her. She staggered a little, feeling her eyes grow hot with tears as she returned the gesture. She hadn’t expected the hug to be so crushing but she was glad she got one at all.
She quickly blinked her tears away and was surprised to feel her gloved hands slip against hair and when Powder released her she saw it, long and thick and blue. She remembered it as short and choppy, hacked at with kitchen scissors.
To her relief, Powder’s jumper was only pushed up her arms, still mildly concerning but more appropriate to the weather. She didn’t seem to be feeling the cold.
“Holy shit!” She yelled, shifting her feet with excitement, still clinging to Caitlyn’s wrists.
“Yeah.” Caitlyn laughed, allowing herself to be shaken by Powder. If she thought Vi had changed, she had another thing coming. Powder was 21, 22, now? It was knocking the wind out of Caitlyn to see her so full of the life she was trying to end the last time they saw each other.
“Vi is going to flip!” She said excitedly.
“Oh!” Caitlyn’s stomach dropped and she pursed her lips, saying a lot without saying anything at all.
Powder’s excitement faltered. “What?” She frowned.
“Uh,” Caitlyn glanced around, half expecting Vi to show up, “she already knows.”
“Oh, great!” Powder said, grinning.
Caitlyn’s expression remained.
“Not… great?” Powder tilted her head.
She considered her response. “She didn’t… take it that well.”
Powder’s face ticked with realisation. “Oh, that bitch.” She made a dramatic gesture.
Caitlyn nodded, she didn’t believe Vi was a bitch and maybe that was the worst part of it all.
“Come.” Powder said, noticing the dirty look they were receiving from the stall owner in front of them.
She walked by her side. The market was fairly crowded, as all places were during Christmas, but Powder had a way with weaving through the crowd.
“That is so like her.” Powder chuckled as they reached the outskirts of the market, she plopped down on a park bench. Caitlyn sat next to her, not as comfortably.
“What is?” She asked.
“Getting on her high horse. I mean, she was all huffy and puffy, wasn’t she?” Powder arched an eyebrow at Caitlyn.
Caitlyn couldn’t help but let the corners of her mouth curve into a smile. “You could say that.”
“Pshh.” Powder waved her hand dismissively. “She’s an idiot. Always been that way, it’s a protection thing. She’s like a stray dog, gotta earn her trust.”
She nodded slowly. It wasn’t new information, only confirming prior beliefs, but it was nice to hear it from someone else.
“It’s good to see you.” Caitlyn said, having barely processed who she was talking to.
“You too.” Powder smiled. “What are you doing down here?”
“Back for the holidays.” Caitlyn said, nodding at her mother in the crowd of people.
Powder followed her gaze. “Ah. Having fun?”
“The lack of time to myself is exactly what I had in mind.” Caitlyn grinned.
She laughed, it was good to see her laugh. “I can imagine.”
Caitlyn thought about how much she had to owe to Powder’s family, revisiting her past had brought up all kinds of memories and people that she hadn’t expected.
“How’s Vander? Your brothers?” She asked.
Powder had a twinkle in her eye when she thought about her family, loving and kind. “They’re good. Vander’s still chugging along, admittedly not as fast.”
The corner’s of Caitlyn’s eyes crinkled with a smile, she could imagine the man’s annoyance at having to slow down in life. She would spend entire days at their house during the summer and never see Vander, only hear the opening of the door past midnight, waking her out of sleep. He was never not working.
“Mylo and Claggor are… Mylo and Claggor. Haven’t really changed a bit.”
The thought warmed Caitlyn’s icy cheeks.
“And you?” Caitlyn finally asked.
Powder understood what she was asking but she didn’t shy away from it. “I’m good. Really good.”
Caitlyn released a breath and nodded.
“Worried, Kiramman?” Powder teased.
“Kiramman.” Caitlyn laughed. “Haven’t had that one in a long time.”
Powder smiled. “Welcome home.”
Caitlyn opened her mouth but heard her name being yelled, snapping her out of the conversation. She saw her mother, overhauled with bags, waving at her.
“Shit.” Caitlyn muttered.
Powder snorted.
Caitlyn stood up.
“Wait!” Powder said. “Mylo and Clag, they run a bar in town. The Last Drop. Swing by tonight or whenever you can, okay?”
“Are you sure?” Caitlyn asked as she backed away.
Powder nodded enthusiastically.
“Okay!” Caitlyn yelled, making a mental note.
“See you!”
“Bye!”
“Ouch.” Caitlyn winced as her hand slipped and her eyeliner poked her in the eye. She blinked rapidly as it started to water, looking up at the ceiling to encourage the tear to go away. “Shit.” She said as she looked in the mirror, it was slightly red.
She had forged her way through making spaghetti with her mother, which involved volunteering herself to make the garlic bread so that they were on opposite sides of the kitchen.
She was already a glass of wine down and now smudging some makeup on. She had stripped back to her long sleeved black thermal and jeans, deciding she had overdone it with the layers during the day. She was going to throw on a jacket before leaving and grit her teeth against the cold.
She was jittery, her knee bobbing up and down, it felt like the first exciting thing to come out of this godforsaken trip, and also felt like a step too close to Vi’s universe, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.
She decided it was enough smudging, her wine stained lips complimenting the smoky black surrounding her eyes and pressed into her waterline. She shrugged on her jacket and surveyed herself momentarily in the mirror. Her eyes caught on a crumpled up pile of material next to her suitcase. Vi’s jacket. She twisted around to look at it properly. Unassuming in nature, loaded in history.
She tilted her head, silently debating herself.
She groaned, stomped over and snatched it up. She would give it to Powder or whichever sibling she saw first and it would find it’s way back to Vi and she would be done with it.
If she was asked, she would argue that the smell of the jacket hit her involuntarily. She would deny that her nose had tilted down on instinct to move closer to the smell.
But it was there and it was intoxicating, like she was sure the smoke was to Vi. The worst part of it all was that it had begun to lace itself with Caitlyn’s smell, having spent a night in her space.
She breathed deeply until she became too aware of what she was doing. Her eyes snapped open and she released her grip on the fabric. Her fingers, long and rigid, had woven themselves through whatever fabric they could grasp.
“Oh, for fuck sake.” She said, shoving the jacket under her arm and slamming the door to her room.
She could see her breath in the air as she glanced up at the neon sign. ‘The Last Drop’ framed an overflowing pint of beer. She smiled at the terrible attempt at Christmas decorations, colourful lights strung lazily across the windows.
It was alive inside, the door constantly swinging open and every time it did, an avalanche of sound would escape for a moment before being muffled again, like a scream caught in a throat.
She shook out her hands before pushing the door open. She was grateful that she had already received some introduction to the level of noise, it immediately overwhelmed her senses. She was then promptly bumped into by a girl dancing. She turned around and looked at Caitlyn with wide eyes.
“Sorry!” She squeaked out.
Caitlyn smiled. “No worries.” She half yelled.
“Can I buy you a drink?” The girl blurted out. Her eyes were the deepest brown, boring into Caitlyn and framed by ringlets of dark hair.
“Sorry!” Caitlyn leaned closer. “I’m trying to find someone!”
The girl nodded shyly and turned back around to her group of friends, shrugging before going back to dancing.
It was the boost of confidence that Caitlyn needed to forge her way through the crowd to the bar.
“Caitlyn!” A voice yelled out. It was deeper than she had expected and immediately had her head turning to identify who possessed it.
Sure enough, Claggor stood at the end of the bar, Mylo peering over his shoulder. His eyes went from frowning in confusion to wide with familiarity.
Haven’t really changed a bit.
Claggor was taller, he had grown into his face, it was more defined and spattered with some facial hair. And that was about it. He was still the same kid.
Mylo had changed even less. The only thing that set him apart from the boy that Caitlyn knew was an attempt at a moustache above his upper lip, scraggly and sparse.
“Hi!” She said, grinning from ear to ear. It would probably be social suicide to admit how happy she was to see them. How much she regretted that she had missed out on them growing up. “This place is amazing!” She said.
“Huh?” Mylo asked, cupping his ear with a hand.
“This place is amazing!” She repeated, louder this time, leaning across the bar.
“Just wanted to hear you say it twice.” Mylo yelled, grinning.
Same kids.
“Our pride and joy.” He said, patting a wooden column with his hand proudly.
Caitlyn watched as some plaster dust cascaded down from the top of the column.
Mylo gritted his teeth.
“You’re here!” She heard Powder’s voice first before seeing her appear from a back room.
“I am!” Caitlyn said.
Now the four of them were there and talking and Caitlyn had a pit in her stomach. Someone was missing, arguably the puzzle piece that connected all of them, and Caitlyn was questioning what she was even doing there. One glass of wine had made her grow cocky. What business did she have even going there?
She frowned at the jacket in her lap and looked at Powder.
“You know, I, uh, I don’t feel so good. I think I might,” she looked around at the crowd that was showing no signs of stopping, “call it a night.”
There was panic that was written across Powder’s face that confused Caitlyn as much as it made her feel a bit sick. If she was lying before, she wasn't now.
“Here,” Caitlyn said, holding up Vi’s jacket. “This is-”
“Oh my God!” Powder screeched.
“What?” Claggor asked.
Powder looked out the bar windows in horror.
“What?” Mylo yelled desperately.
“I think a fight’s breaking out!” She pointed to the windows.
Claggor groaned, immediately moving around the bar. “Not again.” He mumbled.
Mylo followed, like a chihuahua with the spirit of a pit bull.
Caitlyn craned her neck to see if she could get a view of the fight. “Does that happen often?” She asked Powder.
There was no reply.
“Powder?” She turned around.
Powder was frowning at the glass in her hand, beer was barely dripping out of the tap above it, slowing down rapidly. “Shit!” She slapped the bar with an open palm. “Keg’s run out.”
“What?” Caitlyn asked.
“I’ve gotta change it.” Powder chewed on her bottom lip. “It’s in the backroom, won’t take long.”
“Oh.” Caitlyn said. “Do you need help?”
“Nope.” Powder answered a little too quickly. “I’ll be back!”
“Wait-” Caitlyn started, but she had already disappeared.
She took an awkward sip from the drink that she was cradling, looking at the unattended bar in confusion.
A group came up to the bar, mirroring her expression.
She looked over. “Keg ran out. Won’t be long.” She offered up, not really sure what she was talking about.
They nodded at her with thanks before moving away.
She rested her chin in the palm of her hand and swirled her straw through her drink absentmindedly.
The door of the bar slammed open with more force than usual, a gust of cold wind tumbled through. Caitlyn expected that the fight had moved inside before Claggor and Mylo could get a lid on it.
“Powder! What the fuck happened?” A voice yelled.
Caitlyn’s entire body stiffened.
Powder was stretched out lazily on a couch in the backroom, Mylo sat across from her bouncing a ball on a wall. Claggor had comedically small glasses perched on his nose, doing admin at the makeshift desk in the corner.
“I saw Caitlyn today.” She said, a smug grin already forming.
Claggor paused typing. Mylo’s ball fell to the ground.
“Oh?” Claggor said.
“Yeah. And I was like ‘Vi is going to be so excited!’” She waved her hand around. “Turns out they’ve already seen each other. She wasn’t so excited.”
Mylo snorted. “That’s Vi for you.”
“I know right.” Powder snickered.
Claggor grunted in agreement.
They fell into silence. The typing resumed.
“So I was thinking…” Powder said.
“Here we go.” Claggor sighed.
“Hey! Hear me out first.” She pleaded.
Claggor turned around in his chair. “The floor is yours.”
“They’re Caitlyn and Vi, right?”
“Yes, Captain Obvious.” Mylo said, he sounded bored.
Powder ignored him. “So they’re stupid. They need a push.”
“Do they?” Claggor asked, raising an eyebrow at Mylo. “Or should you not be meddling in things that arren't yours to meddle with and ended a long time ago?”
Powder weighed up his questions in her mind, tilting her head as she did. “Years. Months. Is there really a difference when it comes to them?”
“For someone who was checked out for their entire relationship, you sure seem to know a lot.” Mylo prodded.
“I know my sister.” She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t act like you aren’t tempted.”
They both sighed in unison and Powder knew she had won because it wasn’t an annoyed sigh, it was a defeated one.
“What do you propose?” Mylo asked.
An hour later, Powder called Vi.
“Vi! I don’t know what happened!” She yelled into the phone, her voice drowning in panic.
“What? What?” Vi asked frantically.
“There’s beer everywhere. It’s all over the backroom, the place is going to fucking flood at this rate.”
“Where the fuck are Mylo and Claggor?” Vi’s tone was frantic.
“They’re outside! There was a fight.” Powder smiled to herself, she could hear keys jingling through the phone.
“Stay put, okay? Did a keg explode or something?” The phone was muffled, obviously pressed between Vi’s shoulder and cheek.
“I don’t know! I’ve never changed one before and Mylo and Claggor weren’t here to help.”
Vi groaned. “Don’t try shit you don’t know how to do, okay?”
“Yes.” Powder squeaked.
“I’ll be there in a few.”
The phone crackled and went silent, Powder pressed it to her chest, a grin on her face. She glanced around the perfectly dry backroom before leaving.
“You’re here!” She said to Caitlyn.
Vi’s blood was boiling, expecting to walk in on the absolute worst situation. She slammed the door open with a fist.
“Powder! What the fuck happened?” She yelled, her boots slamming on the sticky floor. She had many more verbal assaults lined up and all of them crumbled on her tongue the moment the woman at the bar turned around.
Her feet were stuck to the floor and it wasn’t the layer of spilt drink doing the work, but the force of Caitlyn.
She was sitting delicately at the bar, one leg crossed over the other. Her jeans sat low on her hips, exposing a sliver of skin and she was going to be the death of Vi because her hair was tousled just so and her eyes were framed messily with black.
First came the absorption of Caitlyn and then came the realisation that she had been conned.
“Fuck.”
Caitlyn seemed to realise at the same time, her jaw ticking with frustration. She lazily tossed her hair over her shoulder and her eyebrows furrowed as her eyes glanced Vi over.
“It’s you.” Caitlyn said, her voice dripping in irritation.
Vi nearly scoffed. “Yeah.” She glanced at the entrance to the backroom. “Excuse me.” she nodded to it.
“Go ahead.” Caitlyn tilted her head, a sneer playing on her face.
Vi’s eyes lingered on her audacity before she stormed into the backroom.
Powder was sitting on an armchair with her arms folded across her chest, a smug expression on her face.
“What the fuck are you playing at?” Vi immediately said, pointing at the door.
“I’m being Cupid.” Powder beamed.
Vi laughed, it was dry and slow. “You’re being a dick.”
“Oh, come on.” She said, rolling her eyes.
“No.” Vi said firmly. “Pow, she was probably just excited to see you, meanwhile you’re luring her into a trap. I don’t give a shit what you do to me, but leave her out of it.”
She could tell that this was the first time that thought had crossed Powder’s mind, which made her angrier.
“I am excited to see her.” She snapped defensively. “I just thought-”
“You didn’t think at all.” Vi intervened.
Powder was standing up now, 3 inches shorter than Vi but tilting her nose up to meet her match. “I thought that I could help you not be so fucking useless and I thought that maybe you’d swallow your ego for the sake of finally doing something for yourself.”
Vi’s nostrils flared.
“Because this is what you do, Vi.” She spat. “You’d destroy everything you’ve ever loved if it meant someone could give you a pat on the back and call you selfless.”
Her mouth went dry.
“Because for some reason you’ve convinced yourself that to love you is a punishment.” She was staring Vi down who could barely meet her eyes.
“You’re really annoying, do you know that?” Vi asked. She didn’t argue.
“Mhm.” Powder hummed sweetly. She gripped her sister’s shoulders and twisted her around. “Now, get the fuck out there and do something because I cannot stand another second of this.”
Vi leaned back against her, her feet shuffling on the ground with hesitation. “Pow-”
“Nope.” Powder said defiantly. “Go.”
“I hate you.” Vi groaned, swatting Powder away to walk herself out the door.
“Love you too.” She chimed in.
Vi took a deep breath and smoothed out her jacket before walking back out, her heart was in her ears.
It dropped to her stomach when she saw that Caitlyn was no longer at the bar.
For a moment she considered turning back around, giving up on her newfound bravery and letting the chance pass her by.
That was only a moment though.
“Caitlyn!” She shouted as she opened the door to the bar. The footpath was drenched in a green glow.
She turned her head to the right first, before the left, where she saw her, walking with purpose in the opposite direction.
“Cait!” She yelled louder, jogging after her.
“No!” Caitlyn yelled back, not turning around.
Vi slowed. “What are you going to do? Walk home?”
“That’s how I got here!” She answered.
Vi frowned. “It’s fucking freezing!”
“Do you think I don’t know that?”
She finally turned around, her cheeks were already pink. Annoyance was etched into all of her features, she huffed and crossed her arms.
Vi exhaled and as she did, her own breath clouded in front of her. She pointed at it and raised an eyebrow at Caitlyn. “See? Cold.”
She could’ve sworn the corner of Caitlyn’s mouth twitched before her icy expression fought back.
“Would you please just come inside?” Vi nodded behind her.
Caitlyn narrowed her eyes. “Why? So we can fight some more?”
“I- I’m sorry.” She sighed.
“Sure you are.” Caitlyn quipped.
“Really, Cait.” Vi said, her voice was raw. “You don’t have to talk to me, I’ll get Claggor to drive you home, wherever the fucking knob is.”
Caitlyn dropped her arms to her side and began to walk towards Vi.
Her shoulders sagged in relief.
“I don’t know who’s worse, you or your scheming siblings.” She jabbed as she moved.
Vi laughed, she had missed Caitlyn’s humour. It was dry and relentless. “I could probably offer up better conversation.”
She pulled the door open for Caitlyn, her hand slipped clumsily before she caught it with the other, her eyes never left Caitlyn.
Caitlyn watched with amusement. “Fine.” She said.
Vi’s frowned. “Fine, what?”
Caitlyn sighed. “You can buy me a drink.”
Vi’s eyes widened. “You reluctantly accept?”
Caitlyn laughed, it was short and abrupt, keeping her cards close to her chest. “I reluctantly accept.”
“You know, I don’t really buy drinks here, since I basically run the place.” Vi said, awfully proud of herself, a smug glint in her eyes.
Caitlyn arched a perfect eyebrow. “Don’t make me walk back out that door.”
Notes:
soulmatism at it's finest
Chapter 16: I Won't Bite
Summary:
Some rekindling and some wedding planning.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Vi found herself slipping into the fantasy, the fantasy that this was a regular occurrence. She let herself believe that sitting across from the most beautiful woman she had ever seen and having the privilege of drinking her words was just a typical night.
She rested her elbow on the table, her chin in her hand. They found a booth in the quietest corner they could. The sound had drowned out for Vi anyway. Caitlyn sat further back in her seat, reserved in the positioning of her body. Vi didn’t mind.
She barely blinked and wondered every time she did if she would open her eyes to Caitlyn being gone.
“Here,” Caitlyn said when they sat down, she passed Vi her jacket across the table.
Vi accepted it, but as she did she pretended to pull it with effort. “Damn, you’re really clinging onto it.”
Caitlyn pressed her lips together to stop her laughter. “Shut up.”
Vi hung the jacket over the back of her chair.
“I actually kept it outside,” Caitlyn lied, “I was scared I’d develop a lung disease if I kept it in my room.”
Vi winced. “It can’t be that bad.”
Caitlyn nodded to the jacket. “Smell for yourself.”
Vi picked up a sleeve and eyed Caitlyn wearily before sniffing the fabric. “Okay, it is that bad,” she admitted.
Caitlyn really laughed this time. It took over her whole face, her nose scrunched and Vi couldn’t help but smile.
“This is actually good,” Vi said, crossing her arms.
“It is?”
“I have an incentive to quit now,” she grinned, it was cocky.
Caitlyn sucked her teeth and nodded, smiling to herself.
“What?” Vi asked, tilting her head to see more of Caitlyn’s face.
“The whole ‘smoking being a death wish’ thing wasn’t an incentive?” she met Vi’s eyes again.
Every time she did, Vi felt a gasp of air being sucked out of her lungs.
“Would I be a real smoker if it was?”
Caitlyn took a sip from her drink and nodded.
Vi watched her throat bob as she swallowed. She watched her fingers flex around the glass.
“You have a point,” Caitlyn agreed.
Comfortable silence settled for a moment. It scared Vi how easily they fell back into conversation, when they weren’t at each other’s throats, that is.
Vi sucked in a breath. There was so much she wanted to know, but she was backing out, fearful of losing the happy medium they had found.
Caitlyn giggled.
Vi looked at her curiously.
“You can ask me questions, you know? I won’t bite,” she lilted.
Vi’s knee jerked involuntarily. She cleared her throat and scratched the back of her neck.
Caitlyn looked at her expectantly.
“Okay,” she said, “why come back now?”
“The reason’s kind of stupid,” Caitlyn said.
“Go on,” Vi teased.
“My boss basically demanded that I take time off and I found myself with truly nothing to do for the first time in 7 years,” she shrugged.
Vi broke into laughter. “You know, I don’t think there is an answer you could’ve given that was more you.”
“Creature of habit,” she nodded, suddenly shy. “I missed this place too, wouldn’t admit that to anyone though.”
“So who am I?”
“Not anyone,” Caitlyn said quietly.
Vi tried to keep a neutral expression in response to Caitlyn’s words.
“Your job,” Vi said, “I presume to be…”
“On my way to becoming a lawyer, yes.”
“Wow,” Vi said.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she shook her head. “Well, I don’t know, I’m proud of you, I guess.”
“Did that take a lot of effort to say?” Caitlyn pouted.
Vi shooed her away.
“Thank you. I’m proud of you, too,” Caitlyn said earnestly.
Vi gave a dry laugh. “What’s there to be proud of?
Caitlyn narrowed her eyes. “Everything. I’ve always been proud of you.”
“I appreciate the sentiment,” Vi said, dismissing the truth in Caitlyn’s words entirely.
“Vi,” Caitlyn warned.
“Am I going to get a Caitlyn Kiramman pep talk right now?”
She pressed her lips into a thin line. “You are endlessly frustrating.”
Vi shrugged.
Caitlyn leaned forward for the first time, mirroring Vi earlier, her hair slipped over her shoulder in a cascade of blue. Vi swallowed.
“I’ll convince you,” she said.
“Yeah?” Vi asked, it was all she could manage to get out. All that was going through her head was ‘how beautiful does she look?’ and ‘does that mean I’ll talk to her again?’
“Mhm,” she hummed happily.
She either had no idea or had mastered the act of playing dumb.
“Tell me about your tattoos.” Caitlyn’s eyes trailed dangerously across Vi’s arms and then below Vi’s eye.
Vi chuckled. She considered her words carefully. It probably wasn’t the time to admit that they had all been done in the daze of heartbreak and alcohol.
“Uh, Lest did them. I was her guinea pig,” she smiled fondly, “I got them all done at 18.”
She could see some surprise in Caitlyn’s face, and saw the puzzle pieces slotting together in her mind. She didn’t pry.
“Lest?” she said instead, her face brightening. “They’re really good.”
“I think so too,” Vi said proudly.
“Do you still keep up with Lest?” Caitlyn asked.
“Oh yeah,” Vi laughed, “and Gert, and Margot.”
“No way,” she smiled, clearly reminiscent.
“Actually, Gert and Lest are getting married, like, next week,” Vi nodded through her words, like she was in disbelief herself.
“No shit!” Caitlyn said excitedly, hitting the table with her hand. Her eyes were wide with glee and Vi could tell the alcohol was starting to reach her.
She still couldn’t hold it.
“They finally figured it out,” she shook her head, still in shock.
“And what a long road it was,” Vi added.
“Oh, I bet,” She nodded enthusiastically.
Caitlyn’s pure joy at finding out about the past 7 years was making Vi wish she had never left more than she ever had. It was gnawing at her insides, threatening to slip out of her reach.
“I’m glad that you’re back,” she settled on, it felt safe.
“Do you want to tell that to Vi from yesterday?” Caitlyn teased.
Vi groaned, running a hand over her face. “I really am sorry.”
“I know,” Caitlyn said softly, “I forgive you.”
Vi felt like she might turn to mush. Caitlyn was a bit flushed in the face, her face squished by the hand it rested on, her eyes not as awake as they were when they had sat down.
Caitlyn felt overcome by a sense of calm. She had expected to fidget through their entire conversation and potentially struggle to hear Vi over the pounding of her own heart. But Vi had the same effect on her that she had 7 years ago and she wanted to hate her for it because it was the kind of feeling that a person chases for their entire life.
“You still can’t hold your drinks,” Vi smirked.
Caitlyn raised a hand, silently stopping Vi. “I had a glass of wine before I left.”
Vi laughed, it was deep and rich. “Ah, it all makes sense now,” she said sarcastically.
“Fuck off,” Caitlyn snorted.
She almost never used to swear, Vi noted.
“Alright. Come on, I’ll drive you home,” Vi said, standing up from her seat.
Caitlyn watched her every movement as she shrugged her jacket back on, mourning the arms she had previously been ogling, now lost in a sea of leather.
She would wish later that she was more sober, so that the conversation could keep going. But she sighed quietly and pushed herself up via the table, her eyes adjusting as she did.
“Easy,” Vi said as she swayed a little bit, “Jesus, what are you, 4 in?”
Caitlyn gave her a look. “Just give me my jacket.”
Vi nodded, pulling it off the back of Caitlyn’s chair. “Here,” she moved behind Caitlyn, holding the collar of the jacket up.
Caitlyn lazily slipped one arm in and missed the other arm hole twice before getting it.
Vi bit her tongue, her mouth in a downturned smile.
Her hair was tucked into the collar of the jacket, Vi practiced restraint, stopping herself from fixing it.
Vi walked behind Caitlyn, she could see out of the corner of her eye that she was fidgeting with her arms. She could tell how badly Vi wanted to help her walk, how worried she was that it would cross a line.
“Have fun!” Powder yelled.
“Not too much fun!” Mylo fired. They had magically reappeared whenever it was convenient.
Vi flipped them off, not taking her eyes off of Caitlyn, who was weaving not so gracefully through the stragglers left in the bar.
“Shit!” Vi hissed as they exited at the drastic change in temperature.
Caitlyn could barely feel the cold, a warm flush had crept down her body. “Big baby,” she jested.
Vi’s hands shook around her jangling keys until she found the right one. She jogged to her side to unlock it before moving around to Caitlyn’s side.
“Do you need help getting up?” she asked, little clouds of air escaping her mouth with each word.
Caitlyn’s eyes bore into her. “You wish.” She said, a teasing smile on her lips. Nevertheless her foot did slip on the step up, Vi’s hands flung out on instinct. She caught herself and looked back. “Relax, tough guy,” she plopped into the seat, happy with her efforts.
“You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?” Vi asked, standing at Caitlyn’s door with a hand on it.
Caitlyn tilted her head from side to side. She knew that. “Your favourite one,” she smiled.
“Hm,” Vi didn’t argue. She shut the door.
Caitlyn watched her walk around the front of the car and let herself believe this was a regular occurrence. She watched the ticking of Vi’s jaw as she braced the cold, the hunch of her shoulders that was still the same.
She noticed that Vi’s driving was much calmer than yesterday’s. Perhaps, it was overly cautious, she navigated corners slowly, eyes trained on the road as the headlights lit it up.
Caitlyn traced her profile with her eyes, the edge to all of her features. The wispy scar that ran through her eyebrow, disrupting the growth of hair. The bump of her nose bridge. She noticed for the first time that Vi’s tattoos poked up above her collar, she frowned, wondering how much of her they covered.
Her presence was overwhelming.
“What?” Vi asked, without moving her eyes from the road.
“Hm?” Caitlyn asked innocently.
“You’re staring,” Vi stated.
Caitlyn shrugged. “Am I not allowed?”
Vi didn’t answer, a smirk just tugged at the corner of her mouth.
“7 years,” Caitlyn pointed out, “got some staring to catch up on.”
What was she saying?
“Okay, how do I open the gate?” Vi asked, turning the front of the car into the start of Caitlyn’s driveway.
“You have to yell ‘open gate,’” Caitlyn answered flatly.
Vi frowned and glanced at Caitlyn. “Really?”
“Mhm. Just roll down the window.”
“I swear I’ve never seen you do this,” Vi shook her head loosely.
“Because I usually have a remote for it but I forgot, it’s a failsafe,” Caitlyn nodded.
Vi sighed and rolled down her window begrudgingly. “Open gate!” she yelled.
Nothing.
Caitlyn pinched the tip of her nose to stop her laughter.
“Did I say the right thing?” Vi asked.
“Mhm,” Caitlyn squeaked out.
Vi looked at her and her shoulders sagged with realisation. “Get fucked.”
Caitlyn snorted with laughter. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Vi said, feigning annoyance. Caitlyn could see her chest shaking with laughter. “Where’s that fucking remote?”
Caitlyn fished it out of her pocket and pressed the button.
“Pain in my ass,” Vi shook her head, repeating her prior sentiment.
“When will I see you again?” She asked when they reached the end of the driveway. She hopped out of her side and jogged around to Caitlyn’s who was trying and failing to push her door open.
She pulled it open and held it steady so that Caitlyn could use it to support her weight getting down.
At the last moment, her boot skidded on the gravel that lined the driveway.
Vi was there before she had time to think, catching her under her arms and pulling her upwards, some more gravel skitting as she did. It was exactly as she feared, Caitlyn looked up at her and giggled at the awkward position they found themselves in and Vi already didn’t want to let go.
“My hero,” Caitlyn fake swooned as she found her footing but Vi could see a blush in her cheeks under the outdoor lights of the mansion.
She kept her hand hovering against the small of Caitlyn’s back as she guided herself up the stairs.
Her smell was still intoxicating to Vi after hours in a sticky bar, floating across the gusts of wind.
They reached the door, Vi watched as Caitlyn fiddled with her key, her tongue poked slightly out. Her hand felt colder than ever at the lack of contact.
The door unlocked with a click and Caitlyn huffed triumphantly.
She stepped inside and turned around to face Vi. “You’ve got my number, figure it out.”
Vi grinned at the answer to her question. She craned her neck to see past Caitlyn’s shoulder. “You’ll make it to your bed okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” Caitlyn nodded.
“Okay,” Vi believed her.
This would be a good time to say goodbye but neither of them did. A few beats of silence passed.
“Okay,” Caitlyn chuckled.
“Yeah,” Vi breathed out.
“Bye,” Caitlyn said quietly.
“Bye? Uh, bye,” Vi shuffled her feet a little.
“Bye,” Caitlyn smiled, closing the door softly.
She breathed properly for what felt like the first time in hours, a true swelling of her chest and a release. Her heart slowed and the sound of it fell away from her ears as she walked back to her car. She turned on the engine and realised that this was the first night in a very long time where she didn’t feel like she needed a smoke at the end of it.
The dial tone of her phone played over the car speakers, a stupid grin on her face.
“So?” Powder’s voice crackled through.
“You son of a bitch,” Vi said.
Sunday passed by in a blur of wedding prep.
Vi pulled up a chair at Gert and Lest’s dining table where they were all listening in on Lest trying to wrangle a last minute caterer.
She had tears streaming down her face that morning after their caterer had canceled less than a week before the wedding.
“Yes- no, I understand it’s late notice,” she said, her voice getting weary.
Gert rubbed her back in gentle circles.
“Well, do you know of any businesses who would be willing to take it on?”
She wrenched the phone away from her ear as some angry, incoherent rant could be heard from the other end of the phone.
Vi narrowed her eyes. She outstretched her hand, “give me the phone.”
“What?” Lest whispered frantically, “no.”
“Trust me,” Vi said.
Lest looked to Gert who raised her shoulders. “Got nothing to lose.”
She huffed a little, still hesitant.
“What’s her name?” Vi nodded to the phone.
“Ruth,” Lest whispered as she hesitantly gave Vi the phone.
“Ruth!” she said as she lifted the phone to her ear. She heard an angry click of teeth as she cut off Ruth’s mumbling. “Vi. Wedding planner. This isn’t exactly the kind of call you want to receive on your Sunday afternoon, is it?”
Lest frowned at her in a state of panic.
“No,” Ruth snapped.
Vi winked at Lest and held a finger up to her lips.
“Well, I do apologise but what my bride was trying to voice to you is that we wouldn’t inconvenience you like this unless we truly recognised your hard work,” her voice was practically oozing in charisma.
She heard Ruth hum in acknowledgement of her comment.
“Because I was looking at those little sandwiches-”
“Hors d'oeuvres,” Margot snorted.
Vi flipped her off, “on your website and I was thinking to myself ‘this is the kind of woman who will answer the phone on a Sunday afternoon.’”
Ruth chuckled lightly. Vi had already won.
“Ah, you agree?” she made sure that the grin on her face was audible.
“I believe in my business, yes.”
“As do we, Ruth, as do we,” she said, giving her name a particular kind of lilt. “Now, this will be the wedding of the season and I want nothing but the best for this couple. We’ve established that you’re the best. So now I ask, can you be counted on?”
Ruth sighed gently and Vi could practically hear her internal debate. “Ugh, you’ve twisted my arm,” she finally gave in.
“That’s what I like to hear, Ruth,” Vi said enthusiastically.
She hung up shortly after. Her friends were staring at her with wide eyes.
“Where the fuck did that come from?” Gert was bewildered.
Vi frowned. “You should not be as shocked as you are right now. It’s me.”
“Wedding planner?” Lest asked.
“Improv,” Vi shrugged, “plus, I basically am at this point.”
“Well, after that I think you’ve got a career in it,” Margot said.
“That, or like a really irritating salesperson who gets off on cold calls,” Lest said.
Vi snorted.
They all redirected their attention to the names laid out in front of them, arranged in little circles. There were still some floaters and unassigned places on the seating chart.
“No,” Vi shook her head, “this is all wrong.” She looked pointedly at Gert. “Your Aunt Alba will not survive being sat next to cousin Jim.”
“What, why? They’re both artists,” Gert frowned.
Vi looked at her like the answer was obvious. “Jim eats meat.”
“So?”
“So, Alba is a vegan. Her art is about animal rights. Toss her in with the dietary requirements table.”
“How did you know that?” Gert was dumbfounded.
“Alba loves me. Remember that time I got an invite to her art show and you didn’t?”
Gert’s mouth parted in shock, “I do not and I wish I still didn’t.”
“Christ, Ruth has her work cut out for her,” Margot surveyed the table that Vi was sliding Elba’s name towards.
Vi snorted. “Probably should’ve warned her.”
The afternoon went like this, finalising everything they possibly could. They had Vi ring every vendor to reconfirm that they were on for Friday, not wanting a repeat. They stopped in town for their final fittings and were now back around the table, placing finishing touches on the chart.
Margot’s black fingernail lingered on Vi’s name. “So, can we confirm that there’s no plus one? Because there’s space.”
Vi opened her mouth to answer and only saw Caitlyn in her mind, sitting across from her at a little table, her head resting on her hand. Her mouth closed before she opened it again. “No, no plus one.”
“Aha!” Margot explained, the fingernail now pointing straight at Vi who leaned back in her seat.
Gert and Lest exchanged a look.
“What?” Vi yelled, holding her hands up in a panic.
“You hesitated,” Margot bared her teeth in a grin that could also be described as a snarl.
“No, I didn’t,” she said defensively, scooting back her chair.
Margot leaned in.
“You so did,” Lest chirped up.
“You know, you’ve been acting awfully chipper today,” Margot said, leaning even closer, both hands now on the table to support her.
Lest narrowed her eyes. “You haven’t even asked for a smoke.”
Shit. Her mouth fell slightly agape at her addiction revealing her secret.
Gert looked at her fiancé with realisation of her point.
It was turning into a predator and prey type of situation.
“There’s no one,” Vi said slowly, so as to not trigger an attack.
Margot paused, scanning Vi’s face.
Vi tracked every movement of her own expression, trying to keep it as neutral as possible.
Her lip twitched.
“Liar!” Margot growled, leaping out of her seat.
Vi yelled, jumping up herself.
They were now dancing around the table, Gert and Lest watching with bemusement.
They took a few steps either way, also mirroring the opposite person’s movement, never breaking eye contact.
Then Margot elicited something like a battle cry and weaved around the table. Vi booked it in the other direction.
She may have been stronger but Margot was faster.
She dragged her down in some kind of uncoordinated tackle, almost pulling Vi’s pants down with her.
“Margot!” Lest screamed in shock.
Margot had a knee on Vi’s chest when she surrendered.
“Spit. It. Out.”
Vi’s nose crinkled, her head was pressed against the wooden floors. “No.”
“Spit it out!” she yelled desperately.
“Fine!” Vi’s chest heaved. “I saw her.”
Margot’s face morphed into something electric. “And?” she jabbed her knee further into Vi’s chest.
“And,” Vi grunted, shoving Margot off of her, “it’s none of your business.”
She regained her breath before sitting up. Margot was peering at her with a million questions on the tip of her tongue.
“It was good though?” Lest asked.
Vi huffed and couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. “It was good,” she nodded.
“Oh, thank fuck,” Lest sighed. “You know, if you didn’t pull your shit together, we were going to invite her behind your back.”
Vi processed this for a few seconds. “How did I end up with such scheming people in my life?”
Gert shrugged. “Takes one to know one.”
Margot’s hair was still tousled as she sat in a pile on the floor next to Vi. “So did you… you know?” she did an awkward dance.
Vi looked at her in disgust and began to stand up. “No!”
“Hey! That is not a crazy question to ask you, of all people.”
Vi looked to Gert and Lest for backup.
“She’s not wrong,” Gert snorted.
Vi groaned. “No. No, we didn’t. This is- this is different.”
“Different, how?” Lest asked.
“I don’t think I could do this with her again, knowing she’ll leave again,” Vi admitted. It was her first time saying it out loud, even though she had run over it probably a thousand times the night before.
Margot collapsed even further into the floor, lying down completely now. She stared at the ceiling very dramatically. “So what are you saying? You’re going to be friends?”
“Yeah,” Vi shrugged.
The thought pained her, of course it did. But what pained her more was the idea of getting into something with Caitlyn that could never fully be hers.
Lest palmed her face.
Gert winced.
“What?” Vi asked, mildly irritated.
“Nothing. Nothing.” Gert waved a hand dismissively.
“Just that you’re a fucking idiot,” Margot smiled sweetly.
“Margot!” Lest yelled for the second time.
Notes:
i hope you enjoyed the happy caitvi crumbs!
Chapter 17: The Road Not Taken
Summary:
Christmas shenanigans and some intense yearning.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was Sunday night. Caitlyn chewed feverishly at her thumbnail. A habit she hadn’t practiced in years but one that had made a few appearances since she had seen Vi.
She was stretched out in the bath, her hair was thrown up loosely, baby hairs sticking to the nape of her neck. She had been having scolding hot showers and baths for as long as she could remember.
This was one of the many activities she had busied herself with. She had called Mel, pruned plants in the sunroom that would soon meet their demise anyway in the winter, plucked madly at her already shaped eyebrows, finally unpacked her suitcase and anything that would take her mind away from Vi.
She hadn’t told Mel about her seeing Vi and she was grateful that she hadn’t asked. It felt like something fragile that she wanted to keep protected, at least until she was certain of its future.
She had ensured that her phone was connected to the internet, that her notifications were on, refreshed her messages a few times mindlessly. She wished she could’ve enjoyed her first day in peacefully but her mind allowed her no rest. Now she spiralled in the bath.
Had she given Vi the correct number? Had she said something stupid the night before? Should she have just given up her cocky persona and asked for Vi’s number? Then maybe she could text first and put an end to this.
Her phone buzzed on the edge of the bath, she jumped as it snapped her out of her trance. Bubbles drifted down her wrist as she grabbed it with her hand. Her heart had involuntarily stuttered.
She swallowed and flipped it over.
Light snow expected tomorrow.
Stupid fucking weather app.
She groaned and sunk helplessly into the bath, immersing her head in the water, her groan turned into a few weak bubbles. She stayed there for a few seconds, eyes closed.
She had essentially trained herself to cope with baths, but she had never been able to open her eyes underwater. Every time she tried, she only saw red. Crimson like the night they found Powder. It was a sick trick her mind played on her but she supposed there were worse things to miss out on.
In the months after she left, she wanted nothing more than to talk to Vi to understand what she was experiencing. To endure something so traumatic and then not be able to talk to the only person you endured it with was nothing short of torment.
She had devoted hours of her life to thinking about how Vi had felt during that time. If she had things she couldn’t do anymore, just like Caitlyn did. If it still visited her in her sleep, just like it visited Caitlyn. If she still saw that version of Powder when she looked at her, just like Caitlyn.
She wondered if her healing would have less cracks in it if Vi had been around to put her back together.
She surfaced, inhaling deeply and scrunching her eyes even tighter before slowly opening them. The bathroom was just as she had left it. The water was clear.
“How am I a fucking idiot?” Vi asked Margot, who had risen off of the floor.
“You’re an idiot because you’re with us right now when you should be with her!” She flung an arm out to dramatically gesture to the front door.
Vi looked at it and considered Margot’s words.
She had been dancing around texting Caitlyn all day. She played it off as being busy, which she was, but internally she was being held back and torn apart by her thoughts.
“Are you not listening? I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle her leaving again if I get too close,” she sighed, frustrated.
“Vi,” Lest said firmly, “have you ever considered the alternative?”
She pinched the bridge of her nose. “What alternative?”
“That if you want her in your life badly enough, then she will stay. Be it as a friend,” she gave a doubtful look that Vi didn’t appreciate, “or more.”
“But-”
“You aren’t teenagers anymore. Have some trust in yourself,” she said gently.
“How did I befriend such an optimist?” Vi grumbled.
“Luck,” Lest said. “And let me ask you one more thing.”
Vi braced herself.
“Would you be able to handle her leaving knowing you didn’t allow yourself the chance to get close?”
Wherever Lest had intended for that to hit, it was a bullseye.
Caitlyn emerged from the bathtub, a towel wrapped around herself, her newly soaked hair left a trail of water behind her as she walked through her room. She exchanged her towel for some underwear and roughly dried her hair with it instead.
She tapped her cheek in thought as she sat at her vanity. She didn’t want to subject her face to anything else after relentlessly plucking at it that day so she methodically applied body lotion instead, her damp hair pricking goosebumps across her bare back.
Her phone buzzed again. She glared at it and continued working lotion into her leg, her lips pressed into a thin line.
It buzzed again. She grumbled, already guessing what the newest weather update would be. She rubbed her hands together to absorb some of the lotion before she picked her phone up.
She swallowed.
Unknown Number
hey
open the gate
She frowned and glanced at her windows. This was either Vi or the opening to her murder documentary. She stood up slowly, inching closer to the window, her feet padding against the plush carpet.
She saw headlights at the end of the driveway and squinted. The car was an unmistakable shade of red. Her eyes flew wide open before she remembered that she was topless and currently on display for the world to see.
“Shit!” She yelped, ducking down as quickly as she could, hitting her elbow on the window sill as she did. She winced but shortly after she couldn’t even feel the pain, adrenaline humming through her.
She peeked back over the window sill to confirm what she had seen. Sure enough, the car was still there. She twisted around and sat with her back against the wall, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She crawled across the floor and reached a hand up to her vanity, hitting the table a few times before her hand landed on her phone.
Her fingers trembled as she typed her reply.
Hild om.
She frowned at the letters.
Hold on.
She had expected a text but showing up at her house was unmarked territory that she was in no way prepared for.
Her phone buzzed with a reply.
Holding.
She breathed a sigh of relief at it being late enough that her parents were probably in their room at the far corner of the house, drinking tea or sleeping already. She tugged a robe off of its hook on the bathroom door.
It was a navy blue silk thing with lace trim and she cursed the impression it gave but she didn’t have many options, being that she was half naked on her bedroom floor.
She descended the stairs as quietly as she could and buzzed Vi in from the controls next to the front door. She watched the car make its way down the driveway, her nerves still building.
She listened for the sound of Vi’s footsteps up the stairs, smiled softly as the rhythm to her walk hadn’t changed and pulled open the door before she had a chance to knock.
Vi was standing there wide eyed with her hand ready to rap at the door. She dropped it to her side upon seeing Caitlyn.
“Hey–”
Caitlyn clapped a hand over Vi’s mouth and raised her other hand to her lips, holding a finger across them. She closed the door softly and tugged Vi by her sleeve up the stairs.
She glanced back to see Vi’s eyes roaming Caitlyn’s house, taking it all in as if it was the first time. She trailed along behind Caitlyn rather helplessly, following her direction until they reached Caitlyn’s room. She shoved Vi inside and leaned her back against the door, exhaling a breath.
“Man, this takes me back,” Vi said, glancing over Caitlyn’s room.
Caitlyn narrowed her eyes.
Vi turned back around and her grin was wiped off of her face.
“What are you doing here?” she hissed.
“Uh, figuring it out?” Vi scratched the back of her neck.
“You don’t text me all day and then you, what? Show up at my house unannounced?” She was angrily whispering.
“Do we need to whisper?” Vi whispered.
Caitlyn pressed her lips into a thin line. “No, I suppose not,” she said at a normal volume.
“Great,” Vi said.
Caitlyn waited, looking at Vi pointedly.
“Oh!” Vi said. “Right, yeah, I’m really sorry. I’ve been knee deep in helping Gert and Lest with the wedding.”
Caitlyn didn’t move. “Sure.”
“I’m serious! They’d be hopeless without me.”
For some reason, this makes Caitlyn break a smile. Maybe because it’s almost too predictable that Vi would have a knack for planning weddings.
“I believe you,” she said bluntly.
Vi didn’t answer. Her eyes were a few shades darker and somewhere entirely different to Caitlyn’s face. They dangerously skirted along the silhouette of her body, lingering on the plunged neckline where the panels of the robe overlapped. Her jaw ticked and Caitlyn suddenly felt extremely exposed, her breathing speeding up and a flush creeping across her chest.
She cleared her throat.
Vi’s eyes snapped back to hers. “Good,” she answered, that cocky grin falling back into place like nothing had happened.
Caitlyn’s fingers were numb. “So what was your great plan coming here?” her voice sounded nowhere near as strong as she intended it to be.
“I wanted to show you something,” Vi said plainly.
Caitlyn frowned. “Care to elaborate?”
Vi shook her head. “Just get dressed.”
“You know I don’t like surprises,” Caitlyn said.
“I didn’t, actually. Your reaction to me showing up here didn’t indicate that at all.” Vi deadpanned.
“I get it!” Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “Can you at least tell me if I need to dress warmly?”
“Unfortunately, you do,” she answered.
“Unfortunately?” Caitlyn arched an eyebrow.
Vi took a step closer and lifted the end of the silk ribbon tied around Caitlyn’s waist, running it between her fingers.
“It would be nice if you could just stay in this,” she looked up from the ribbon and locked eyes with Caitlyn.
She swallowed. “Shame,” she said, her voice dry and foreign in her throat. She was sure that this close, Vi could see her heart thumping under her skin.
Vi backed up again. “It would be more of a shame if you froze to death though,” she shrugged.
She was giving Caitlyn whiplash. “I’m glad you arrived at that conclusion.”
Vi wanted to see that robe on the floor. She had registered it the moment that Caitlyn had opened the door.
She had to immediately remind herself of the conversation she had that day. The one about being friends with Caitlyn. The one about wanting to keep her in her life.
So she swallowed it down. But she did watch the sway of Caitlyn’s hips as she led her to her room. And she did take note of the swell of her breasts under the layer of silk.
Between that and the absolute nostalgia trip she had experienced walking into Caitlyn’s room, she was shitting bricks. It was exactly the same as the last time she had seen it. She wondered if they would ever reach a point where she would get over the nostalgia she associated with Caitlyn.
Caitlyn was rummaging through drawers of clothes, Vi felt a pang of guilt at springing this on her. She placed herself on the edge of the bed, rubbing at her knees nervously.
Her heel tapped something hard, sticking out from under the bed. She peered down curiously.
Caitlyn was mumbling to herself. “Jeans… gloves… thermal,” she would say under her breath as she grabbed each item.
She lifted the covers on the bed to see a box with its lid haphazardly put on. There were fingerprints and marks in the layer of dust that had settled across the lid like it had just recently been shoved back under the bed. But Vi wasn’t looking at those. She was looking at herself.
For she could see her flash of hair and freckled nose in a photo that was resting on top of the box's contents. She had Caitlyn wrapped around her shoulders, one arm wrapped around the backs of her thighs and one hand holding the camera up to the mirror in front of them. She was grinning at the lens. Caitlyn’s face was a blur but she could see a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.
Caitlyn had gotten into an argument with her parents that day, something about her distancing herself over the summer. How they managed to helicopter parent Caitlyn while simultaneously being borderline neglectful was beyond Vi.
She had come straight to Vi’s house with tear stained cheeks and been down for the entire afternoon. Vi sat with her and told her anything she wanted to hear.
“She said something about already being sad enough that I was moving away, so she could do without my absence when I still live here,” she sniffled.
Vi frowned. “But they’re never home.”
“I know!” Caitlyn exclaimed, “but I just feel so guilty.”
“Baby, you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about,” Vi cooed, Caitlyn leant into the crook of her neck.
Caitlyn was brushing her teeth when Vi sauntered casually into the bathroom.
Her girlfriend had looked at her inquisitively before being swept off of her feet. She squealed as Vi hauled her up.
She was laughing hard and then maniacally at how muffled her laugh was by the toothpaste in her mouth.
“Put me down! Put me down!” she screamed, swatting at Vi’s back.
Vi snapped the photo with the camera she had preemptively put in her pocket, wheezing with laughter, before returning Caitlyn safely to the ground.
She spat out her toothpaste, and clearly relished in finally being able to curse Vi out.
“I hate you so much,” she made eye contact with Vi through the mirror.
Vi shrugged, Caitlyn’s eyes betrayed her. Always. There was a gleam in them that Vi hadn’t seen all day and that was good enough for her.
“Can you look away?” Caitlyn asked her. She was holding a bundle of clothes to her chest. She hadn’t noticed Vi looking at the box.
Vi felt suddenly cold. “Uh, sure,” she nodded, standing up and turning around, choosing to concentrate on Caitlyn’s bedside table. A glass of water that had been half drunk, a tray of tablets, Vi smiled at the idea that she had probably been hungover that morning from her weak attempt at drinking.
There were some sheets of paper stapled together. Vi squinted at them. It was a court case of some sort. Did she ever stop?
She was so invested in the unassuming collection of objects on Caitlyn’s bedside table that the sound of rustling behind her caught her off guard.
She swallowed and glanced over her shoulder without thinking. Caitlyn’s back was bare, her hair still damp against it, running over her shoulder blades as she moved. Her skin, endlessly soft as Vi knew, rippled with her as she pulled a grey long sleeve over her head.
She grieved every divot in her back, the line of her spine, the dimples above the waist of her pants as they were consumed by the fabric. It had no idea of the great disservice it had done her.
Caitlyn pulled her hair out of the collar of the shirt, letting it cascade in damp tendrils down her back.
She turned her head back around as fast as she had initially moved it, her mouth was dry.
“Okay.” Caitlyn said.
Vi turned around and acted as if she was seeing Caitlyn’s outfit for the first time. It was her usual attire with extra layers, Vi couldn’t help but find her excessive bundling up adorable. “Ready?” she asked.
Caitlyn grabbed a jacket from the back of the chair sitting in front of her vanity and nodded. “I don’t know, am I?”
“You’ll be fine. Trust me.” Vi assured her, a teasing grin playing at her lips.
Caitlyn gave her a look and opened her mouth in protest.
Vi pulled the door open and hushed her, holding a finger to her lips and arching an eyebrow.
Caitlyn sighed but led the way.
The hallway was almost pitch black, just some moonlight being cast through huge windows.
They made their way down the stairs and Vi almost immediately walked straight into the statue of a knight that was posted against a column. It rattled quietly and Caitlyn whipped her head around, her eyes wide in fear at Vi’s clumsiness.
“What are you doing?” she whispered, her teeth gritted.
“Nothing. See? It’s fine.” Vi muttered, trying to quickly recover.
She couldn’t help herself. She made a show of shaking the knight’s hand apologetically. Only she realised about halfway through that she was shaking a hand that was no longer connected to the body of the knight.
“Fuck.” She whispered, trying to reattach the hand.
Caitlyn palmed her face.
She heard the clink of metal inside the hand and assumed it was the sound of the hand being secured to the arm. She let it go. It dangled dangerously, the metal squeaking softly.
Their heads both tilted with it.
The squeaking slowed and Vi breathed a sigh of relief.
It then clattered to the floor with a sound so loud that Vi blocked her ears, looking at it guiltily.
They both froze.
Caitlyn’s head turned towards the sound of a door opening. “Go. Go!” she ushered Vi out of the door.
Vi obeyed, slinking out of the door. She leaned her back against the closed side of the door and listened.
“Caitlyn!” Cassandra sang out.
“Yes,” Caitlyn squeaked after a few seconds.
“What are you doing? It’s late.”
“Sorry!” Caitlyn yelled out, “I thought I saw a cat or something outside and I couldn’t see where I was going, I knocked a statue,” she laughed lightly as if she was entertained by her own clumsiness.
Vi smiled.
“A stray cat?” Cassandra’s voice was shrill.
“Yep!”
“I hope you didn’t plan on bringing it inside,” she said firmly.
“No! I didn’t!” Vi could hear the frustration in her voice.
“Good. Get some sleep.”
“Will do!”
Moments passed. Vi held her breath. Caitlyn eventually emerged, pulling the door shut behind her.
“You are so dead.” She huffed at Vi.
Vi just gave a menacing smile.
Caitlyn brushed past her. “What could possibly be entertaining you right now?”
Vi tucked her hands in her pockets and followed. She shrugged loosely. “Feels like old times.”
Caitlyn glanced over her shoulder, studying Vi carefully. She didn’t respond.
Vi knew she probably would’ve said something like ‘garnering amusement from my misfortunes?’
The inside of Vi’s car was growing familiar to Caitlyn, something she never thought would happen. Its smell was starting to slowly diminish though, catching her by surprise every time.
Vi turned the key and Caitlyn frowned.
“It doesn’t smell like your usual cloud of smoke in here,” she pointed out.
“I quit,” Vi stated.
Caitlyn looked at her. “I thought you were joking.”
“Hmm,” Vi tilted her head from side to side, “I was, sort of. I don’t know, I’ve been trying but I think I might actually be finally doing it.”
“What’s changed?” She asked.
“Uhh,” Vi breathed out like she was racking her brain for an answer as she checked for cars before pulling onto the road, “not sure, I guess things just started to feel more serious.”
She pretended to not recognise the correlation.
“Plus, I don’t want Powder to see me doing that shit anymore. Feels wrong to have drilled into her that life is so wonderful while I’m smoking away mine,” she said thoughtfully.
Her throat stitched up. Powder was still her baby. After all this time, she protected her the same way she had when she was 18 years old. The way that she had her entire life, Caitlyn was certain. And she had spent so much of her time just trying to convince her to stay. It hadn’t ended that night for Vi like it had for Caitlyn.
There was also a pit in her stomach left by how carelessly Vi spoke about her own life.
“That makes sense,” she said, her voice hoarse.
Caitlyn started to recognise the route that they were taking. Even in the dark, her hometown stayed with her.
“We’re going to… the lake?”
“You remember,” Vi said happily.
“Yes, but why?”
There was nothing surprising about the lake. Nothing she hadn’t seen.
“Have you ever tried being less apprehensive?” Vi asked, parking the car in front of the tree line that surrounded the lake.
Caitlyn laughed despite herself. “I don’t think it would suit me.”
Vi had continuously made every effort to beat Caitlyn at opening her own door. It seemed to be something she naturally fell into. This time was no exception.
She opened it, her hand fidgeting at her side. It was probably instinct to extend it to her and Caitlyn took acute notice of Vi striving to keep their unspoken boundaries in place. She plopped down, leaves crunching underfoot, a thin layer of snow resting on top of them.
“Ready?” Vi asked.
“Mhm,” Caitlyn replied, paying attention to where her feet landed as she took steps. Too many rolled ankles had occurred on this very bank.
Vi navigated the unstable ground in front of her, so she tried to mirror her footsteps.
They eventually approached the clearing.
Vi looked over her shoulder at Caitlyn who still had her head down. She smirked. “Now would be a good time to look up.”
She looked up, gasping softly as she did.
Every house and tree backed onto the lake was covered in Christmas lights, casting the frozen lake in hues of dazzling colour. Under the veil of light snow and an inky sky was a treasure her hometown had been holding all this time. It was beautiful.
“How have I never seen this before?” she breathed out, eyes flicking from house to house. They seemed to be in competition with one another, each one trying to meet the next in spectacularity.
“I guess I never got the chance to show you,” Vi shrugged. Her eyes were flicking through colours as the lights changed.
“Thank you,” she said, “for showing me now.”
“No problem.”
“The city is beautiful at Christmas time, truly, but this is something else.”
“Talk to me about the city,” Vi said, as they started to walk around the lake.
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
A smile softly crinkled the corners of her eyes. “Well, I live in a penthouse with Mel and Jayce, who are very in love and very annoying by the way.”
Vi didn’t even seem surprised.
“And my favourite part of it is the windows, I could watch the city for the rest of my life and– oh, look at that one,” she pointed at her favourite house across the lake, “sorry,” she shook her head at her distractedness.
“It’s okay,” Vi chuckled.
“There’s always something happening, you know? This town is so sleepy, the city is restless. I’ve mapped out all of my favourite restaurants, I feel like I haven’t even scraped the surface of exploring all of the districts, but I know mine like the back of my hand,” there was such fondness and tenderness to her voice.
Vi watched her, allowed her to talk for as long as she wanted to.
“I’ve always missed the intensity of the seasons here, the city changes but never on the same level,” she frowned. “And the people, it’s so weird that I almost never see the same person twice. It’s just full to the brim with life.”
Her throat felt dry when she realised she was beginning to talk more about how much she missed where she grew up than where she was now.
Vi exhaled. “It sounds wonderful, Cait. Really.”
She spoke about her home with such softness. It pained Vi as much as it elated her for Caitlyn. She deserved it all and more, a true home.
“It is,” Caitlyn smiled.
“Look,” Vi said, nodding ahead of them.
Caitlyn squinted.
It was the swing they had practically lived on during the summer, hanging above the icy lake.
“It hasn't changed a bit,” Caitlyn smiled. “I’m surprised it’s held up.”
“Me too,” Vi chuckled.
“An accident waiting to happen, really.”
“For sure.”
“Do you remember when Gert impaled her foot with a stick when she was climbing the tree?” Caitlyn looked at Vi.
Vi broke into laughter. “Fuck, how could I forget? And we had to bring her home with the stick still in there. I thought we were dead meat.”
Caitlyn was laughing as well now. “And Lest turned a shade of green that I didn’t know a person could be.”
Vi shook her head, smiling. Her expression morphed into something more serious. “Speaking of Gert and Lest…”
It was now or never.
She had Caitlyn’s full attention which made her want to shrink into herself.
“The wedding is on Friday and I feel that, I mean, now that you’re here it would only be right that you came, right?” she kicked herself mentally for her rambling. “Because, you know, you were there for the very beginning of them.”
“Are you inviting me to the wedding, Vi?” Caitlyn gave her a chance to summarise her babbling. They had stopped walking now.
“Yes,” she exhaled. “It’s in Noxus, on an estate that Gert’s family owns. I’m staying there after, if you wanted, I’m sure there’d be rooms still available or it’s only a 2 hour drive back here.”
“Are you sure they wouldn’t mind? It’s kind of late notice,” Caitlyn said.
“Oh, trust me,” Vi nodded, “they would love to have you.”
Cautlyn’s features softened. “Okay.”
Vi paused. “Really?”
“Yes,” Caitlyn smiled.
“Great,” Vi said, chuffed with herself.
They started walking back to the car.
“I’m keen to see this wedding you’ve supposedly planned,” Caitlyn teased.
“You’ll be blown away,” Vi grinned.
Caitlyn chuckled. “Ice sculpture included and everything?”
“Don’t forget the chocolate fountain.”
“How could I?”
There were smiles biting at their cold cheeks as they trudged back the way they had come, Caitlyn still peering out at the houses across the lake.
“How solid do you think the lake is?” Vi asked out of the blue.
Caitlyn frowned and observed the frozen over water. “Probably not very. Around the edge, maybe. It’s fairly deep in the middle.”
“Come on.” Vi said.
“What?”
“Come on.” Vi repeated, edging closer to the lake until she was pushing against it with one foot.
“What are you doing?”
“Ice skating,” Vi’s voice wobbled as she placed her other foot on the ice and slid a little bit. “See?”
Caitlyn sighed but Vi could see her amusement. “This will end very badly for you.”
“Not if you’re here to save me.”
“You’re out of luck, then.”
Vi rolled her eyes but the movement unstabilised her, one of her feet flying out from under her. She yelped as she barely caught herself, kicking her feet out in desperation.
Caitlyn laughed, watching the scene play out.
She steadied herself, hands ready to catch her own fall. “See. I need you out here.”
Vi had a knack for convincing Caitlyn. She watched as she carefully navigated her way to the ice, toeing it with one foot.
She held out a gloved hand and waited for Vi to take it. She obliged, trying not to think too hard about the initiation of contact.
Caitlyn’s grip was firm.
“Easy, or you’ll take me down with you.” Vi said as Caitlyn stepped onto the ice and her grip tightened even further.
“Yes, well, this was your stupid idea,” Caitlyn breathed out.
“You’re the one going along with the stupid-” Vi’s foot slipped and knocked Caitlyn’s who landed her other hand on Vi’s shoulder for stability.
She glared at Vi.
“Okay,” Vi breathed out. “Minor adjustments,” she moved Caitlyn’s hand on her shoulder to her other hand so that they were now rigidly bracing their legs and holding hands.
Every time a foot slipped or slid, they’d laugh and attempt to recover. Vi was without a doubt bringing down the performance.
“Ready?” she asked Caitlyn with a menacing grin on her face.
“For wh-”
But Vi had already let go of one of her hands and was lifting the other over Caitlyn’s head.
“Spin,” Vi nodded.
Caitlyn already was, involuntarily, her boots slipping as she did. At the halfway point she was feeling pretty confident, taking in the beauty of the evening.
Until she heard Vi grunt and felt her arm jerk backward, her feet kicked out from under her and sent her tumbling backwards. She screamed and landed with Vi’s hands hooked under her arms, hanging limp above the ice with her legs splayed out in front of her.
“Pick me up. Now,” she said, entirely defeated.
Vi was shaking with laughter. “Just enjoy the view.”
“Vi,” Caitlyn warned.
“Okay, okay!”
But it was never that simple, force was not on their side. Vi tried to pull Caitlyn upwards but the effort left her vulnerable, her own legs splaying out in a similar fashion as she fell with a thud, Caitlyn landing on top of her.
Vi winced. “Ow.”
It was Caitlyn’s turn to laugh now, twisting around in Vi’s arms and observing her.
She had landed on her ass, which she was sure had bruised. She flopped her head backward, submitting to her defeat. The ice stung through her hair. But all she could think of was how close she was to Caitlyn, only layers of clothes separating them. She was warm in her arms, taking away from the ice that nipped at her body.
Her face came into view, hands resting on Vi’s chest, framed by the glow of the Christmas lights. Vi made a mental note of every place that they were connected. Caitlyn’s hair brushed her face, her hips nestled between Vi’s, their legs were tangled. Her expression was a mixture of amusement and concern. It lit up her whole face.
“You good?” she asked, between little huffs of laughter.
Vi gave a weak thumbs up. “Better than ever.”
She wasn’t lying.
Notes:
chapter name is another lyric from the same song as the title of the fic!
let me know your thoughts!
mwah
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