The (Un)Forgotten Window

by ChaosCor8

Summary:

Zhou Shuyi's feet bringing him face to face with a deserted cafe. His hand touches the window pane and wipes away the thick dust that's settled. Did he actually expect anyone here? No, but he came to look anyway. It all started here, at this very window, years ago.

Notes:

For the BLFanfic April monthly challenge - 5 years later, and part of the Crack The Whip challenge
Beta-ed by LetsFallApart

Chapter 1

The picture that prompted this story :

Chapter 2

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It should be raining. Not a drizzle, but a soaking rain that causes water to seep into your shoes and ruin your day. A rain that falls with the purpose of finding exposed skin to leave you as drenched on the inside as you are on the outside. 

 

Or, maybe it should be cold. Shouldn't the snow fall heavily and cling to your jacket and scarf, adding weight to your invisible burden with every silent plop?

 

Zhou Shuyi’s feet carry him towards his destination while his mind ponders such things. It wasn't so much that the weather was not as it should be, but that his emotions were not as he expected either. Maybe if it was raining he would feel the remorse of leaving, because it was solely his decision to leave, ignoring all other possibilities - and pleas. If it was snowing, he would feel the accumulation of being alone the past few years and the millstone of announcing his return. 

 

None of those things are present, however. There's no rain or snow, there's no remorse or loneliness. There’s rays of warmth that can only give Zhou Shuyi a false hope that this day will go well. 

 

Eventually, Zhou Shuyi's feet stop, bringing him face to face with a deserted cafe. A wave of nostalgia washes over him. His hand touches the window pane and wipes away the thick dust that's settled, causing a musty smell to whiff through the air. He wipes the powdery residue on his pants as his eyes strain to peer in. 

 

Did he actually expect anyone here? No, but he came to look anyway. It all started here, at this very window. Even through the dusty haze, he can make out most of the shop- the counter, his favorite table, the snack bar. The counter is where he first gave Gao Shide his number. The corner table was where they talked privately when business was slow. Every section inside the cafe tells of a memory. 

 

Zhou Shuyi takes a breath and returns to the present and he once more glances around the empty building. The glimmer of spider webs a reminder of just how long it's been since… since it's been abandoned. 

 

Since he left. 

 

As he dusts off his hand he remembers the last time he was here and his hand touched this glass. Was it only just 5 years ago? The fond memories make it seem longer. The painful memories of being separated clock the time much longer. 

 

Years ago, it was a steamy outline of his hand on the window, instead of a dust outline. Years ago, it was visual evidence of how his body reacted to Gao Shide lightly kissing his neck. 

 

“Gao Shide, if you continue that we will not make it to our date.“ More kisses would graze his neck, the warning was just an empty threat to him. 

 

That night he had lingered in the coffee shop with Gao Shide so they could go on a date. Zhou Shuyi didn't realize it would be their last date. He had picked their favorite place with outdoor seating so he could break the news of his travel to Gao Shide privately and uninterrupted. Zhou Shuyi remembers how his heart tremored with each soft kiss that landed on his neck, as he did his best to focus on locking the cafe door. He was grateful it was night and the flush in his ear and cheeks was almost hidden.

 

But now?

 

Now, the dust is a quiet elegy of what could have been if he only stayed. If only the date had gone differently. If only…

 

Zhou Shuyi checks his surroundings, more so to bring the present day back into focus in his mind. He walks down the street towards the house. Not his family's house. A different house. A few years ago this walk was filled with giggles and handholding. A few years ago this walk seemed short, not enough time to fill the need for time spent together. 

 

A few years ago this walk brought happiness to Zhou Shuyi. 

 

Maybe, just maybe, it could once again. He hoped. 

 

Zhou Shuyi pauses when he reaches the brown wooden door. One knock began a series of firsts. First date, first kiss, first fight, first I love you. 

 

He raises his hand to knock and pauses. Maybe this knock will come with a different ‘first’. 

 

First time at starting over. 

 

Maybe 5 years is not too long to begin again. Maybe it's just the right amount of time needed so he can be ready for a long future. 

 

Zhou Shuyi looks at his hand paused in midair, ready to knock, and then lowers it. 

 

He takes a shaky breath. 

 

Maybe 5 years is too long. It could be that over the years dust has settled on the heart that once beat for him. It could be that what he is searching for is no longer found behind that door. 

 

His heart beats in his ears as if to say “knock-knock-knock”.

 

With another shaky breath he raises his hand once again but he doesn't get the chance to knock. The door opens and he's face to face with the same deep brown eyes that captured his heart so many years ago. 

 

“Hi,” he manages to squeeze out. 

 

“Hi,” Gao Shide returns. 

 

Time stills for them both. For Zhou Shuyi it's as if the past and present are overlapping right here, right now. He is still very uncertain of many things, especially coming here, to him. 

 

And then the softest smile slowly appears on Gao Shide’s face. 

 

Maybe 5 years is just the right amount of time to feel a love lost, and gain it back again.