Chapter Text
Starscream's mind spun with schemes and possibilities, each one more terrifying than the last. He quickly shook them off, knowing perfectly well he wasn’t able to achieve anything of grand scale in his current situation. After leaving the Decepticons, and failing to join the other side, he became a fully independent bot. That meant lack of resources – any resources – and when acquiring energon becomes a problem, a bot must focus on his survival first.
Starscream glanced at Harbinger's floor, his optics settled on his last energon reserves. He hated that part of his freedom. Ever since he arrived on Earth, up to this point, he had almost constant access to fuel, never worried about his own rations, as they were for the asking.
“Oh please” Starscream grabbed an energon cube, his voice sharp as always. “It is all thanks to me and my commandship that Decepticons managed to secure that much energon. No one has provided our troops with such stability in vorns!” He took a confident sip. “And you still tell me to conserve it? Don’t be foolish.”
“I’m just saying” Knockout shrugged uninterested. “Although, if we do happen to encounter some… problems, then don’t even try to make me search for energon. I’m just a mere medic after all, my place is in my comfortable and well-organised medbay.” He crossed his arms and waited for a response.
“Any kind of insubordination will be punished, remember, doctor.” To that, Knockout just rolled his optics with a faint smirk visible on his face plate.
“What I meant is, if you ever wish to get more of it, you can always seek it yourself,” he said with a grin and finally grabbed a cube for himself. “But who am I to reject this luxury now? Megatron isn’t here after all, it’s not like he can reprimand us.” Knockout brought the cube to his dermas and took a small sip.
Starscream frowned when he heard his Master’s name mentioned. Even at times like this, when Megatron was absent, he still managed to hunt the Seeker in his thoughts. Whatever. It’s not the time for that. Megatron will be away for Primus knows how long. Maybe he already died somewhere far away in the cosmos? This is what made Starscream smile victoriously. In the meantime, he finished drinking his energon cube and said, “Then, let’s win this pathetic war before our dear Master manages to come back. Decepticons need no one else but me, to achieve true triumph.”
Starscream reached for a small fragment of energon ore, and quickly ingested it. His expression changed into a grimace immediately. He wasn’t keen on consuming energon in any form other than liquid, but he couldn’t complain right now. The plan was to keep his fuel tanks half empty, and refuel only when it was completely necessary. It was working well, despite being somewhat uncomfortable.
Starscream knew he had to survive at all costs, and starvation couldn’t be the way he dies.
“Seriously Breakdown, would it kill you to keep your boisterous temper in check? How did you even manage to bust up your back plate like that?” Knockout searched for proper medical equipment and some spare parts. Breakdown only observed him at first, but eventually spoke up.
“Stuff like that happens when you do fieldwork, you know? That’s like, part of my job.” Even though he’s a proud warrior who is never discouraged by scars, he felt kind of guilty for giving Knockout more work to do.
“No, no, no.” Knockout turned around to face him, his expression filled with a form of irritation. “Your job is to kick Autobots’ butts, not to do– whatever you were doing in that mine.” He pointed out.
“Are you two done?” Starscream walked inside and interrupted them, his claws twitching in frustration. “After Breakdown’s spectacular failure, we lost a whole damn mine, and dozens of miners too! Seriously, is no one on this ship competent enough to follow even basic orders?” He stopped near the medical bay, shifting his gaze onto Knockout who was currently treating his patient. “What part of ‘supervise the extraction of the biggest energon deposit yet’ did you not understand?!”
“Relax, it’s not my fault the mine collapsed.” Breakdown’s optics were fierce. “Maybe you just gave Vehicons some wrong orders.”
“Why would you even send Breakdown there?” Knockout dragged in. “I mean– he’s a big mech. Not exactly an advantage for underground adventures. Unless you are so eager to put him in a grave.”
“I hate both of you. Utterly useless!” Starscream whined, fed up with everything and everyone on this freaking ship. “I did everything right, planned each step extremely carefully, so don’t you dare undermine my authority! Need I remind you that I am currently in charge of our faction and have every right to hold you responsible for today’s mission, Breakdown?” His voice was serious, his posture straight, almost intimidating. But clearly not intimidating enough. “And for your information, doctor, Breakdown was supposed to watch over the proceedings of mining, not actively engage in them!”
“Hey, it would be rude to just stand by and watch them do all the work! It would be boring too–” Knockout then finished roughly patching up Breakdown. “Appreciate it.” He thanked him immediately, making sure his gratitude was clear.
“That’s what I’m here for. To fix you when you mess things up.” Medic smirked, visibly pleased with his friend’s courtesy. It wasn’t a common occurrence among the Decepticons after all. “But for Primus’ sake, try not to gamble with death next time. Dying under a pile of rubble isn’t really fitting for you.” Knockout rested a servo on his hip and glanced at Starscream. “This advice applies to you too, Commander. You are prone to getting severely injured yourself.”
Hearing that, Starscream only rolled his optics. “Oh please, spare me the lectures. I don't consider any deaths other than those on the battlefield. A risk we are all willing to take, I presume.” He sized both mechs up with a smug expression.
“To that I must agree” Breakdown nodded “Only a battlefield will become my graveyard.”
Knockout sighed, clearly tired with the topic. “As your medic, I ask you to shut up about offlining already. Thinking about death isn't really healthy for any mech. I certainly don't look forward to my own funeral, but I will gladly attend yours when the time comes.” He started to put away his medical equipment. “Now, if you don't need any medical intervention Starscream, can you leave? I have a patient after all, and you can argue with him all you want after I get his scan results.”
“What kind of treatment is it? I am your superior!” Starscream became even more irritated, but calmed himself down by taking a deep vent. He suddenly said, “Knockout, I need you to fix my left knee joint.”
Knockout simply glanced at him with resignation, as he just cleaned up his workspace. “Primus, why are you like this?”
Starscream meandered through the passageway, heading to the bow section. Checking on computer systems was actually an important part of his daily routine. He made sure everything was working, trying to avert possible malfunctions. That ship was millennials old after all. It was only a matter of time before something went haywire.
The next step was using the ship’s sensors to scan for any useful stuff, (preferably energon). Using such outdated and aged technology was annoying to say the least. He had a tough time trying to figure out how to hide potential signals coming from Harbinger’s system. He really didn’t want any Autobots or Decepticons to come looking for him.
But Starscream’s been in far worse situations. And this? This was like a sparkling’s play for him.
“Starscream? Have you lost your senses?!” Knockout shifted his gaze from the datapad he was holding to see Starscream walking out of medbay as if he hadn’t been in critical condition. “You haven’t fully recuperated!”
“I feel fine Knockout, never better, you’re a brilliant physician, now get out of my way!” Starscream snapped at him furiously, clearly impatient, and quickly pushed his chest plate away. Starscream continued walking with stiff movements. He clenched his jaw, because of both pain and his anger. Megatron managed to humiliate him yet again, to comprehensively destroy his frame and ambitions of becoming the next true leader. And he did it all after his own death! His Master managed to come back from the dead even stronger, punishing Starscream even harder. Why, why did he always return? Decepticons would be better off without him.
“Try not to do anything stupid.” Knockout managed to say out loud before disappearing from Seeker’s sight. Starscream’s inner thoughts went silent for a moment, the bot was taken aback by the way the medic sounded. It felt almost genuine. However, that thought lasted only for mere nanokliks, and Starscream already made up his mind on a new plan.
Nothing would stop him from achieving great things, not even Megatron, not even those deep, ugly wounds he gave him. He hissed, but tried to overcome pain coming from his aching frame. That dark energon shard. Starscream headed to reclaim it.
Scans haven’t found anything useful. Great. That meant Starscream needed to eventually visit one of the abandoned mines again, and try his luck there. Not today though. He could feel in his veins that it wasn’t the best day for that. It would be better to stay hidden and lay low for a few more days.
It suddenly hit him. Boredom, huh? Well, not exactly boredom, it’s hard to be bored when you are constantly worried about your own survival. It was the closest feeling to it he had in a long time though, maybe even since the beginning of the war. How many vorns were they fighting already?
“How many vorns are you researching these weird fossils already?” Starscream glanced over the bigger bot’s shoulder, trying to take a peek at his work. “I must admit, your tenacity is admirable, Sky. It almost makes me jealous.” A lighthearted grin overtook his face plate. When Skyfire turned around, he couldn’t help but smile too.
“Ah, it’s you. You’re back early.” Skyfire pointed out, pausing the research to converse with his lab friend a little. “Well, I don’t exactly pay attention to how long my studies take. I just... try to get through it professionally. You know me.” He shrugged, his expression jolly.
“I’m just surprised how someone can work on a single project for this long. I could never.” He leaned on the wall next to the workbench. “It seems boring.” Starscream’s optics widened suddenly upon realization. “Uhm, no offense of course.”
“You're just being honest, I can't take offense at that.” Skyfire had his optics focused on Starscream. “By the way, is there anything you need? I thought you would be out on a flight.” Genuine curiosity could be seen on his face, maybe even worry.
“Ah, no, not really, no.” Starscream started to walk around the lab with servos behind his back. Skyfire stared at him, not convinced.
“You know you can tell me if anything bothers you. We’ve talked about it–”
“I do know.” Starscream’s voice echoed through the room. “But that doesn't mean I have to, so stop pushing it” His wings raised a little. “I just stopped by to see my colleague.”
“If you say so.” Skyfire knew Starscream lied, but he didn't dare to pry into it more, and smiled nonetheless.
Everything felt so pointless and unnecessary. After such a long time, after so many vorns of being an important, feared figure, Second in Command of the Decepticons, Megatron’s right hand, he became… what, exactly? Wanted criminal? For Autobots he always was one, so it wasn’t anything new. Traitor? Again, not his first time. Refugee? In theory, all Cybertronians should be considered refugees. After all, Cybertron was no more.
Starscream sighed, continuously tapping his ped. This definitely wasn’t the freedom he dreamed about. But it doesn't matter. He will eventually have his revenge. He will show them all. One day, Starscream, aligned with no side, servant to no one, will surpass every one of them. Definitely.
“They say you’re arrogance incarnate.” Skywarp was lazily scrolling through some files on his datapad. “Or something along these lines. I can’t remember. Oh, there was also someone who called you a narcissistic maniac.” He almost giggled at that thought. “That was quite funny.”
Starscream, currently pacing around the room, directed his gaze to Skywarp. “Right, thanks for this brilliant insight,” he answered sarcastically. “How is insulting me supposed to help?”
“Who said I’m helping? I’m trying to entertain myself here! You could at least laugh or get angry or something.” Skywarp whined, putting the datapad away. “Besides, I didn’t insult you, I just repeated what others said.” He shrugged with an innocent expression, clearly taunting the other Seeker.
“And I don’t care what some random bots say.” Starscream continued walking around, with servos behind his back. “Such opinions are of no value to me. Wait… That’s not even on the topic of our previous conversation!”
Skywarp smirked and teleported himself just in front of Starscream, causing him to jump up and yelp. “Skywarp!” He shouted again, putting a servo on his chest plate. “Stop joking around! For Primus’ sake, how many times do I have to tell you to not appear next to me like that!”
“Calm down, calm down. You’re starting to live up to your nickname, Screamer!” Skywarp had a smug expression on his face plate, his mischievous personality showing. This made Starscream even more furious.
“Do not call me that!” This time his voice was even louder than before if that’s even possible.
“I thought you didn’t care about what others call you.” This line shut Starscream up for a few good nanokliks before he clenched his fist, ready to go all-in in this silly banter. Skywarp noticed it and quickly explained himself. “Relax, I’m just messing with ya! You just seemed more tense than usual, I didn’t want you to bottle it up. So, have you relieved your feelings or do you want me to push it a little further?” It was both a joke and an honest proposition.
Starscream blinked rapidly, processing what had happened. Ah, so that’s what it was. He shook his head with resignation. “Don’t be mad at me! I had to work with what I have. It’s impossible to give good advice when the only thing you tell others is that ‘you encountered an inconvenience and have a serious dilemma.’ I get that you’re an uptight, proud mech and all… But you don’t have to shoulder everything alone. Talk with me and Thundercracker sometimes, Screamy.”
“You can’t call me that either,” Starscream answered with a straight face.
Starscream grabbed his helm after his processor had suddenly been flooded by various memories. It was hard to separate them from each other, and only a few distant moments appeared clear in his mind. The bot cursed under his breath. Get it together, he thought, the times which allowed vulnerability have long since ended. Starscream couldn't allow himself to soften up now. The war was still ongoing, and he needed to do whatever it takes to survive, and to save face.
“Stupid frame. Stupid systems,” he mumbled to himself. Oh how he wished he could get his old body back.
Don’t get him wrong, he liked his current look – obviously – but sometimes, he’d like to regain his previous one, his original one. Starscream was much bulkier then, physically stronger, and there were actually some colors on him, mostly red and blue.
“Looking good, Thundercracker.” Starscream couldn't keep optics off his new paint job. It wasn’t common for TC to change his look. Well, maybe not change, it was almost the same, but renewed and upgraded.
“Don't make fun of me, will you.” He looked away, sensing sarcasm in Starscream’s tone. “I made some necessary improvements to my frame. It was getting pretty rusty.”
“Ha!” Starscream made a sound resembling laughter. “This is not surprising, idiot. You're not really young, you know? And so wasn’t your frame. It was bound to rust.” Thundercracker glanced back at him, watching the other’s smug expression.
“Said a mech older than me,” Thundercracker muttered under his breath, but loud enough for Starscream to hear.
“And thus wiser than you.” He shrugged with a knowing grin on his face plate. “I know how to nurse my frame and maintain it in good condition unlike somebody here. However, it is nice to see you polished for a change. Almost like a Prime.” Starscream closely watched his Trinemate to see his reaction. He wasn’t sure why, but teasing TC always made his day better.
“I don’t like changes. You should be able to understand that concept, mister wise mech.” Thundercracker took a deep, satisfied vent, and his expression softened. “Alright, quit blithering. Let’s get out on that flight finally.”
Without further stalling, both mechs transformed into their vehicle modes and took off.
Starscream hated reminiscing, so (obviously) those uncontrollable memories weren't welcome. He tried with all his might not to think about the past. About the times back on Cybertron. After all, almost every one of those mechs haunting his processor have died a long time ago. Why should he waste his time on them? That's why he tried to stop these thoughts. To throw them away. To run away from them. To run away. To survive. To-
“Please, Lord Megatron..” Starscream’s servos were shaking involuntarily, pure terror was clawing at his throat. “I meant no-”
Before he could finish, Megatron’s fist landed on his chest plate, causing him to lose balance and almost fall down.
“I ordered you to await my command!” He sent Starscream flying across the room with yet another strong hit. “Instead,” he continued, “your mindless agenda resulted in the disabling of my ship, and the delay of my plans!”
When Starscream noticed his Master walking closer and closer, he looked at him with genuine fear in his optics, trying to crawl away as far as he could. Not like he would succeed. His master would catch up to him. He always does. “My intentions were pure, Master!” Excuses started leaving his mouth before he could even think them through. It was some sort of ‘motor memory’ for him at this point. However, his voice was filled with nothing but hatred. “I only wanted you to be rid of Optimus-” Megatron’s ped came crushing his face to the ground, the pressure so strong he was afraid it may permanently damage his optics.
“No one rids me of Optimus Prime, but me! Do you understand? Do you?!” Megatron crushed Starscream under his weight even harder. He groaned with pain.
“Lord Megatron…” Starscream knew he was inferior to him, as much as he didn't want to admit it. “I will… make things right-!” That sentence sounded almost like a genuine statement. “I swear!” Because what else could he do? He just needed to survive. That's why, in moments like this, he threw away his pride, ran away from his own beliefs, doing and saying anything to prevent Megatron from snuffing his spark. “I know… how to set your plans back on course.”
Starscream took a deep vent of relief when Megatron decided to take off his ped, only to be grabbed by the neck and raised up with force. “Explain Starscream. Quickly.”
“Can't you leave me the frag alone?!” Starscream was trying to steady his vents. His voice echoed through Harbinger walls. He was almost desperate enough to claw out his own processor and join the All Spark here and now. As long as it existed, of course. “I already lived through those things, I don't want to do it again!” Starscream hated his past self and everything that came with it. He hated how much it weakened him. Fortunately, he was too busy fighting war lately and didn't have time for such a nuisance. However, right now… that’s a different story.
He was in a truly complicated position. Not everyone manages to make themselves the enemy of their entire species.
What was left for him, then? Was it even worth staying alive anymore? Did he want to live?
Starscream wasn't sure.
Wait, no! What is he even thinking? Of course he wants to stay alive!
His optics widened. That's right.
He’s still Starscream after all. And he decided to make a rightful place for himself in this twisted and cruel world.
This is the official end of his pathetic vegetation - it's time to act.