Chapter Text
Inside of Omega Mart in an indescribable state that may or may not be real in another indescribable timeline stands…a man of sorts, he’s standing there quite nervously by the door as various mascots walk in.
(I’m not sure if it was obvious but this is infact a mascot au so uh yeah)
After so much awkward waving and…smiling(?) Mr Omega remembers that you should greet people with yknow words, as he realizes this he announces “Uh hello fellow…mascots!” To the mascots as they enter the building, he then whisper mutters to himself “good heavens get a hold of yourself Omega” just as he says this Jack walks in, he shoots him a smile and wave and then says “good morning Omeg—I mean Mr Omega” in which Mr Omega responds with “hello dear nice to see you”
Once everyone is inside they file into a few separate tables those main tables considering of fast food mascots, grocery store mascots, product mascots (like cereal and cleaning products) and…the cannibals…there’s roughly thirty mascots inside the store per Mascot Meeting (in the smallish area that surrounds Omega Mart. I'm also not going to name every single mascot that attends.)
After everyone is seated the Quaker Oats Guy (I don’t know or care if he has a name. I don’t like him.) essentially takes attendance since he’s the “head mascot” in the area, there’s a sort of hierarchy with the Quaker Oats Guy at the top with bigger mascots like Tony the Tiger, Ronald McDonald, the monopoly guy that’s also the stater bros mascot for some reason,etc etc next in line due to their notoriety, and then there’s people like Mr Omega next because he owns the store they have the meetings at, then the other well known mascots, and last the mascots who are near “retirement” and the cannibals.
“Alas we’re all here! Let us begin the bi-weekly meeting! Remember to stay within your own tables” that was the Quaker Oat Guy again, no one really likes him except Tony the Tiger, little Debbie and like the kool aid man because well the Quaker Oats Guy is a pilgrim.
The next 30-ish minutes usually drag on and on for Mr Omega because of how annoying he finds the other grocery store mascots, so of course, abusing his power as the store owner he gets up and tells the others at his table “ah well I just remembered I had a…uh a difficult spill over there in aisle 13! I should go…I should go clean that up and I will also stay doing other store owner activities like…restocking and…making sure the root vegetables don’t…get out again…” at that last statement he shudders a bit and kind of has the 1000 yard stare face, he shakes his head “well I guess I’ll get going now!” No one says anything. The other store mascots think that he’s a bit strange, they’re not wrong I guess, Mr Omega is a little…exceptional so to speak.
He’s average in height and built but no one would really say that’s his defining feature, that would have to be his head which takes the form of well an omega like the symbol (considering we’re on ao3 most of us should know what an omega looks like and no this is NOT an a/b/o fic it’s what some would call a slice of life. If you’re really struggling to figure out what he looks like just google “Mr Omega” just be warned, his fans are freaks.) not to mention that his head is also yellow, which I guess if it was…flesh color…that would be weirder. Other than that he wears a white collared shirt, red bow tie, and brown pants, he’s also always cold so he’s practically wearing a blue cardigan and sometimes gloves.
To no one’s surprise there was no difficult spill in aisle 13, he simply wanted to see his…work buddy…Jack! Yup like the guy! The guy people are…ahem that’s not the point. So he stood up and walked over to his Jack—I mean Jack and put his hands on his shoulder “ah hello dear—I mean valued friend!” Which of course everyone has their suspicions on their current relationship status but no matter what they’ll deny any sort of romantic involvement for different reasons, Mr Omega thinks it’s unprofessional to have romantic relationships in the workplace, Jack because he’s convinced he’s not gay. Anyways back on topic! Jack then responds “oh Mr Omega hi what are you doing here?” Before he can respond the voice of a child yells out “OH I KNEW IT I KNEW YOU WERE GAY TOGETHER!! Wendy, we’re gonna get paid today” this child was DQ, an eleven year old girl who was only there because her pathetic excuse of a father attended the meetings (she’s also the Dairy Queen mascot “to be”) Mr Omega and Jack both…blushed(?) a bit, as you would if someone accused you and your…work buddy…of being romantically involved. Mr Omega’s face gets a little bit orangey (yellow and red make orange) and Jack blushes red, after a few seconds of silence and awkward stares from everyone at the fast food chain mascots Mr Omega stutters “I-DQ no, Jack and I are simply…” while he’s trying to figure out what to say Jack blurts out “oh we’re work buddies! Fully platonic friends that…that are friends and nothing else!” In which DQ responds with “oh sure whatever you say Jackson” in a sarcastic manner “seriously who are you fooling?” She continued, Jack then responded “ok ok wait, you’re like what, nine? Seriously, what do you know about relationships? Aren’t you barely learning what a decimal is?” And within seconds DQ responds with “alright listen here Jackson” and guess what, Jack interrupted “my name isn’t Jackson” and again, in mere seconds DQ responded “wow interrupting a child, anyways, first of all, your name is Jackson, I would know, it’s on all your legal documents” Jack tries to interrupt again (not to question why a child had gotten a hold of his legal documents) “oh wowee that’s twice already! Ahem as I was saying, yes the name Jackson In The Box is on all your legal documents, and I know plenty about relationships, namely gay ones but also just in general, mainly because I’m friends with Wendy, and we all know what I mean by that but also because my…father, Coney was married to Curly and believe it or not, but those were two men, I know gay people when I see them” at this point Jack was not paying attention and trying how to change his name…again…and Mr Omega was starting to walk over to ask Coney if he needed to have DQ watched again (now of course she did because coney is a pathetic excuse of a father but I’m getting ahead of myself, my job is to narrate and not share my opinions. I canNOT afford another pay cut.) ahem as I was saying, turns out Mr Omega did have to watch DQ again (a task he did not mind doing)
It was getting late and as the mascots were leaving Mr Omega was standing at the door saying goodbye to them all—similar to how he did in the morning but this time with a small child next to him holding on to his hand. After everyone was out Jack awkwardly walked over and arguably more awkwardly asked “hey so uh…Omega! You know how you’re like my…uh my only friend..?” After this statement DQ tried to hold back a loud laugh but failed in which Jack was in shock “I-What the ffffffffffreshly made food…why is the kid here?? Nope Jack, get back on topic. Anyways what I was trying to say was how you’re like my best friend and…I’m kinda out of food at my house so is it ok if I…uh I dunno…” DQ bursted out laughing and Mr Omega tried his best to get her to stop “uh give me a second dear” “DQ.” It’s hard to explain but he kind of gave you the look your mom might give you before you get in trouble “ahem I’m sorry Darling but of course you can stay the night” after hearing him say this Jack turned a bit red. Now trust me when I say this, if you were there you would’ve gotten such severe second hand embarrassment you would want to be I dunno struck by lightning and then reincarnated into a jellyfish. It was THAT bad! Anyways I couldn’t possibly narrate the rest of the night because I don’t get paid overtime!
——————————
End of chapter one