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“You know, you’re really cute when you’re pouting,” Luke couldn’t help but grin as he emerged from the kitchen to find Ethan wrapped up blankets on his couch.
“I’m not cute,” Ethan murmured. “And I’m not pouting.”
“And the sky is green and the grass is blue,” Luke replied, sliding in beside him. “Well, I got chocolate ice cream with fudge and peanut butter cups, I know that’s your favorite. And wine—the red, not the white. The pizza should be here soon, but I figured with the night you had…dessert first, right?”
“Mm-hm,” Ethan hummed, picking up the bottle and drinking straight from it. Of course, Luke had seen him down his fair share of shots in their college days, though it never failed to make him raise a brow.
“Was the date really that bad?” Luke asked.
Ethan sank further into the couch, crossing his legs on the recliner. “No, it’s just…well, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of these guys using me to see if they’d be okay with dating ‘the guy with one eye’. They see my profile, they know what they’re getting into, and they seem so nice. Then they meet me, and they just…they’re disgusted with me.”
Luke’s heart sank, and he reached over to tentatively pat Ethan’s knee. “I’m sorry, Ethan. I…I don’t know what to say, but they’re…”
“Pussies?” Ethan asked, his lip curling. “Yeah, they are. This guy tonight asked me if I would get a glass eye just for him. I swear to god, he gave me puppy dog eyes and begged.”
“Oh my god,” Luke laughed. Ethan passed over the bottle, and Luke helped himself to a drink; they were too close and too lazy to worry about getting separate glasses. “I don’t get why they bother to go out with you if they can’t handle that, but they’re seriously missing out. You’re so much more than ‘the guy with one eye.’ You’re great, Ethan…”
Ethan avoided his gaze in favor of cracking open the ice cream. “You’re the only person I know that I can tell is genuinely comfortable around me. Even my dad avoids looking at me half the time. I just…I don’t know who I’m kidding. I think I’ll give up on dating for a while, I don’t wanna deal with this anymore.”
Luke bumped his knee against Ethan’s, unsure what was safe to say. Part of him was overjoyed; he hated it when Ethan went out on these dates, leaving his company for some guy from an app that could never appreciate him like Luke did. Another part couldn’t have Ethan ditching his efforts because he thought himself unworthy.
“You’re too good for them,” Luke said stonily. “I don’t want them making you think less of yourself. I want…I want you to feel comfortable. For god’s sake, Ethan, you can take that off in here, I know it’s hot as balls under there.” He huffed.
Ethan looked at him, his visible eye wide with surprise. “I…take what off…?” He started to grin.
Luke couldn’t help but match his smile, though he reached out for the thin strings of Ethan’s eyepatch tied behind his head. Ethan’s hands reached up slightly on impulse before relaxing.
“May I?” Luke asked, his heart thudding within his chest through no will of his own. He knew Ethan had a lot of experience with bullies trying to take off his eyepatch, so he always tried to be slow and mindful when it came to that.
Ethan nodded, and Luke slowly untied the knot, taking off Ethan’s eyepatch and placing it gently onto the side table. He met Ethan’s gaze, full and unabashed—his almond-shaped brown eye, and the blackness where one eye once was.
“Unsettling?” Ethan asked. There was a front of amusement in his tone, though Luke could hear the insecurity laced within.
Beautiful, Luke thought. But that was off limits.
“Normal,” Luke settled, though he couldn’t control his voice, admiration seeping through.
They never did tell each other they loved one another—it was weak, silly, and most of all, redundant. Things like this said it well enough.
Ethan managed a smile, though his eye was watering. Luke had never wanted to kiss him as badly as he did in that moment. It was beyond unfair; it was a cruelty of god himself, making someone he loved so much, someone he longed for, into his best friend. They had had so many close calls—too-flirty moments or drunk almost-make outs. They always managed to play it safe. Why now was Luke tempted to throw it all away, just to have Ethan to himself? Would Ethan even be happy with him, or would he settle for him just because he was being nice?
“Luke,” Ethan murmured. Half of his face was bathed in the white light of the TV, highlighting his jawline and dark, ruffled hair. “Thank you, for always making me feel safe. And I really will give up if it’s not…if we can’t…” Ethan swallowed. He then grasped Luke’s shirt, pulling him into a deep kiss.
Luke fumbled, his entire world flipped on its axis as he kissed Ethan back. He slipped, holding himself up by one hand on the other side of Ethan’s hip. The kiss broke a few times, each tiny sound loud and life changing in Luke’s mind.
“‘S this okay?” Luke asked between kisses. He wasn’t sure what was happening, only that he wanted to finally be swept up into wherever this wave would take him. “You sure?”
“What do you think, numb nuts?” Ethan snapped against his lips, and Luke laughed. He was still Ethan, through and through.
Ethan shifted, barely parting from the kisses to push Luke back onto the couch, straddling his hips. It had to be the hottest sight Luke had ever seen, so much so that he was sure he must have been dreaming. He knelt down to kiss him again, and…
The doorbell rang.
“The pizza,” Luke muttered, praying that Ethan wouldn’t be scared off by the disruption and never kiss him again.
Ethan hummed, seeming contemplative for a moment. “Well, I am hungry—I was supposed to eat over an hour ago before my date went up in flames. But I…I was glad it did. Should’ve been you. Anyways, I’m eating. We can get back to this later.” He knelt down and kissed Luke’s neck, sucking a little mark, and Luke grasped Ethan’s hips. As soon as he stood, the cold was evident.
Ethan grabbed his eyepatch before going to the door, though Luke beat him to it. He would do anything to make him feel comfortable, for as long as Ethan would have him.