Chapter Text
It starts off innocent, as it often does.
Zoey and Mira are unsupervised in Rumi's bedroom, as they often are, chatting absently about turtles and TikTok trends. Rumi herself is about thirty minutes away at the local grocery outlet, having promised to make them dinner tonight, and having forgotten until the last moment. It prompted a round of panicked apologies and then the older girl bolted out of the penthouse before either of them could say it was okay.
"I'm bored," Mira groans, flopping onto her back. Zoey snickers at a video she's watching on her phone and holds it up so that Mira can watch. The two of them devolve into a short fit of laughter.
"Same," Zoey says, once she's calmed down. "Rumi won't be back for at least another hour, though."
"Uuugh..."
Another few minutes pass in silence before Mira catches Zoey scanning the room with a familiar look in her eyes. "What are you doing?"
"Right now? I'm trying to decide where Rumi would hide things."
Mira blinks and sits up, scanning the room curiously. "Why would she hide anything?"
Zoey shrugs. "I'm not saying it's nefarious, but I mean.. everyone's got a hidey hole for stuff they don't want stolen, right?"
Mira blinks again and thinks back to a conversation she had with her therapist. Then she thinks about Rumi, and how cagey she can be, and decides it makes sense. "True. This is Rumi we're talking about, though. She wouldn't make it obvious."
"Well duh," Zoey says, like it's obvious. "But.. there's not many places to hide anything in here."
She's not wrong. Rumi's bedroom is the definition of orderly. The bed is made (or it was, before they came in), the desk is neatly organized, and there isn't much in the way of personalization. Mira isn't counting the HUNTR/X poster above the bed, though. That would be borderline weird, if it were anyone in the group but Rumi. She was almost more excited for performances than their own fans.
Zoey clicks her tongue and stands. She runs her hands over the sides of the desk, as though looking for a hidden compartment, and then shrugs. "Maybe she just doesn't hide anything in here."
Mira rolls her eyes. "Didn't think you were the type to give up so easily."
Zoey scoffs. "I didn't say I was giving up. I was just talking out loud!"
"Mhhhm. You were totally gonna give up and watch more turtle videos."
Zoey crosses her arms and pouts. Cute. "Was not!"
Mira looks over at the closet. "Why don't you check in there? I bet you'd fit."
Zoey sputters. "Mira!"
Mira grins. "Sorry, couldn't help myself. Seriously, though, you should check."
Zoey groans as she walks over to the closet and pulls it open. It's a decently sized space filled almost entirely with different colored hoodies, which Mira is quick to point out looks like a rainbow.
"Gay," Zoey quips, tipping her head up to look at the shelf above her head. "Ugh, my mortal enemy."
Mira snickers. "Need some help there, babe?"
Zoey huffs and raises herself as high as possible on the balls of her feet. Mira watches this spectacle with amusement, phone forgotten beside her.
"I think I see something," Zoey says, her voice strained. "But I can't reach it."
Intrigued, Mira shifts off the bed and pads up behind Zoey. She places a hand on her shoulder and leans forward.
Zoey points to the corner of the shelf and Mira lets out a soft hum as she reaches over and grabs what she sees, immediately holding it down so Zoey can take it.
"A notebook?" Zoey asks curiously, looking the old notebook over.
"Guess so."
Zoey opens it with her thumb, skimming through the pages in a blur to confirm that there were, in fact, words inside. She giggles a little, clearly excited by this newfound development, and then spins around and smacks right into Mira, who... had not moved.
"Oh, hello there," Mira laughs. "Are you comfortable there?"
"I'm thinking about my life choices," Zoey says, voice muffled through Mira's shirt.
Mira laughs, a plan already forming in her mind. "There are a lot of those, babe, and besides, we have more important things to do."
Slowly but surely, Mira wraps her arms around Zoey. She waits for her to start talking, "Like wh–", and then shifts to pick her up. Zoey yelps, legs wrapping around Mira's middle on instinct. "M-Mira!"
"Oops. I saw this really cute girl and just had to pick her up," Mira grins.
"That is not what that means!" Zoey shouts, face flushed red.
Mira laughs and carries her, gently depositing her onto the bed. Zoey retaliates by grabbing Mira's arm and dragging her onto the bed, and then the two of them are tangled up and the only thing that stops Mira from escalating this into a wrestling match is her girlfriend waving the notebook like a white flag.
Mira sits up and Zoey climbs into her lap. It's adorable, but Mira will address that some other time. Now, she watches as her girl opens the notebook to the first page.
"My name is 루미 (Rumi). I am 여섯 (six). I like to 독서 (read)."
"Awww," Zoey coos. Mira cracks a smile.
(The line is repeated several times before changing into a collection of Hangul syllables.)
Zoey flips the page and gasps softly.
"My name is Rumi, and I am six years old. I like to read, and I like it when my 엄마 (mother) 브러쉬 (brushes) my hair."
"She learns fast," Mira says. Zoey hums and flips through the next few pages. They are all some combination of the same sentence. Eventually, though, it shifts.
"Umma says I can keep this notebook."
Mira blinks, even as she continues to read.
"I am seven now, and I like to look at the stars. They are pretty, like umma."
"Umma says that the bigger ones are dying."
"How is she..." Mira starts, just as Zoey says, "That's kind of sad.."
Mira hums, letting her sentence go unfinished. The question 'How is she learning so fast' goes unanswered.
"I still think they are pretty."
(The page ends abruptly, as though Rumi had nothing else to add.)
"Ever the optimist," Mira mutters quietly.
Zoey leans back into Mira as they continue reading.
"Umma took me to see her friend today. I don't think she likes me, but that's okay. I made sure to keep myself covered."
"Covered?" Zoey frowns. "What does that mean?"
"I'm not sure," Mira admits.
"Umma seemed sad after we got home, but she doesn't like hugs. I'm going to make her some tea."
"That's nice of her," Zoey says, just as Mira asks, "Isn't she a little young to be making tea?"
"I tried to give it to her and she told me to go away. Did I do something wrong?"
"Umma Celine told me to stop calling her Umma."
Mira tenses, ever-so-slightly, at the proclamation. Zoey flips the page, seemingly unbothered by the declaration. She goes through several more pages full of mundane day to day activities, the two of them reading in comfortable silence. Mira taps the pages to let her know when she's finished reading, not wanting to disturb the calm atmosphere.
"The Honmoon is loud tonight. Um Celine says it is because there are no hunters right now. There is nobody to stop demons from hurting people."
"She knew about the Honmoon this early?" Zoey asks softly, like she's trying to keep the moment light when she knows it isn't.
"Demons, too, apparently," Mira points out.
"She doesn't say it, but I think–"
(The sentence, though legible, has several lines over it, as though Rumi hesitated at the last moment but couldn't erase it. The next sentence is complete mundanity, and implies it was written the next morning.)
"Should we skip ahead?" Zoey asks, sounding a little unsure.
Mira wraps her arms around Zoey and kisses the back of her head. "Go ahead."
(By now, neither of them are sure they should be reading this, but the decision was made, and well... Zoey always goes 100%, right?)
Zoey hums and skips forward until the sentences turn into paragraphs.
"Training was difficult today, but it's always that way. I don't know if I'm just not understanding what Celine tells me to do, or if she's going too fast, but I keep messing up and she keeps getting upset. It's not like I want to mess up, but my body still aches from dance practice. Every movement felt like being stabbed."
"There is some good news, though! Celine found them, the two girls I'm supposed to fight with and sing alongside. Their names are Mira and Zoey, and though I haven't met them yet, I already feel a connection growing. It's nice."
"I hope they don't hate me."
Mira squints and leans forward. "Does that say what I think it does?"
"Yeah," Zoey says quietly.
"Why would she think that?" Mira feels her defensive barriers raise at the idea that someone would automatically assume the worst of her. "She didn't even know us."
Zoey doesn't respond right away, her thumb resting over the words. "She could've just been anxious. I was like that when I was younger."
Mira frowns at that. "Sorry. I didn't mean to..."
"It's okay," Zoey assures her. "I know you didn't mean it that way. Come on, let's keep reading."
Zoey flips the page and freezes.
"I messed up I messed up i messed up–" (this continues across two pages, barely legible in some places and horribly clear in others).
Mira's heart hurts as Zoey immediately flips away from the sight. She's a little surprised that Zoey didn't toss the journal (because it is a journal, they are reading Rumi's journal) across the room, but she supposed the restraint was impressive.
"i didn't mean to i swear I didn't mean to. it was an accident. he scared me. i thought he was a demon. i'm sorry im sorry im sorry—"
"my name is rumi my name is rumi my name is RUMI. R-U-M-I."
And below that,
"i am thirteen, i am thirteen and it was an accident, i didn't mean to hurt him, i didn't mean to let him see."
"I like the stars, and reading, and I miss when Celine used to brush my hair but she will not touch me anymore, she cannot even look at me and it was an ACCIDENT ACCIDENT ACCIDENT—"
Mira carefully pries the journal out of Zoey's hands when she hears the first stifled sob. She closes it and places it down, holding Zoey close. "Shh, it's okay.."
"I-I'm fine," Zoey struggles to get the words out. "Mira, I just, she's never scared like that. She–she's never told us about anything like that.."
"I know," Mira says, her voice portraying a sense of calm she doesn't feel. This was supposed to be a fun little experience, maybe they'd find a silly confession or something, not... not this. "I know."
"I want to keep reading," Zoey's voice shakes, and Mira wants to tell her no. She wants to, so badly, because Zoey's voice isn't the only thing shaking, and they're invading Rumi's privacy.
She doesn't, though, and somehow Zoey has the journal back in her hands and she's flipping to the page just after the one they were on.
"Celine says I have to learn how to hide it better before Mira and Zoey get here. I don't know how. What am I supposed to do? There are no instructions on how to deal with being a de mistake."
Mira is half a second from snapping about where Rumi got the notion that she's a mistake, but then a shaky hand points to a few lines down and everything stills.
"Stupid Honmoon just had to choose me. Stupid Honmoon just had to pick the mistake. Don't you see what I am? How can you still CHOOSE ME?"
(The line "Your faults and fears must never be seen," is repeated several times with aggressive underlines on each one, like Rumi is reminding herself.)
"She talks about herself like she's not even human," Zoey whispers.
Mira hums, most of her energy dedicated to remaining calm. Zoey is right, Rumi does talk about herself like she's not human, but worse, Mira is already starting to see her habits in a new light.
The constant long sleeves ("I just run cold"), her avoidance of the bathhouse ("Maybe next time").
(The next several pages are filled with nothing but affirmations. It would be a breath of fresh air, if there weren't notes off to the side like ’shedneversaythat’ and 'wrong'.)
"Celine wouldn't train with me today."
"Celine won't look at me again."
"I can't control it, why can't I control it?"
"I fell during dance practice and one of the girls laughed at me."
"Everything aches. They wont stop spreading."
"please I just want one day of rest."
"Fuck," Zoey whispers hoarsely.
"Celine says I wont be whole until the Honmoon is sealed."
"What she really means is I will be a mistake until it is sealed."
"I can accept that. I can live like this until then."
. . .
"Jesus," Mira mutters, blinking rapidly to will away the tears forming in her eyes. "We should—"
"..Why would the Honmoon being sealed fix her?" Zoey whispers, and Mira's mind stutters to a stop.
She re-reads the sentence once, twice, three times.
"Celine says I wont be whole until the Honmoon is sealed."
Anger flares deep in her chest. Celine said what? What did that even mean? Rumi isn't a fucking demon, she's a human being, so what would the Honmoon have to do with anything?
"What she really means is I will be a mistake until it is sealed."
Rumi is not a mistake, she is the farthest thing from a mistake you can get. How could anyone ever think that Rumi is anything short of incredible?
"I can accept that. I can live like this until then."
And she just accepted it?! What else did Celine tell her that made this so easy to accept? What the fuck does any of this mean?!
"I apologized to him today. I didn't even think, I just ran. My feet hurt."
"He is too kind. I don't deserve it. I hurt him."
"He tells me that I'm not a mistake, but I know I am."
"I want to believe him."
(The next several pages are full of black and white doodles of claws and fangs. Neither girl knew that Rumi could draw, but the drawings are intricate, as though she is looking at a reference.)
"What if sealing the Honmoon takes me with it? Is that what you would want?"
"Umma, I am scared to die, but I will do it for you. For this world you left me behind in."
"Will you be waiting? Or will I go the other way? Will I see Appa?"
Zoey says "wait.." in the same moment that Mira says "what?"
Zoey frantically flips through page after page, reading at a speed that Mira can't keep up with. She misses a lot of what's written, but then Zoey seems to find what she's looking for because she lets out a gasp and all but freezes.
It's lyrics from Takedown, clearly having been written recently. It's not the only thing on the page; there are several alternate iterations written in the margins.
"How can you sleep or live with yourself? A broken soul trapped in the nastiest shell."
"A demon with no feelings don't deserve to live, it's so obvious."
"How do I tell them that I can't sing these lyrics?"
"I'd be singing about myself."
The girls are halfway through processing what those words could mean when everything comes crashing down.
"Hey guys, I'm ba..."
Mira's gaze snaps to the doorway.
A grocery bag slips through Rumi's fingers and hits the ground with a soft thud. "W-What are you.."
Zoey, still frozen, scans the words over and over like something will change. Mira slowly slides off the bed.
"Mira?" Rumi whispers, taking an unconscious step back. "Mira, why does Zoey have my—"
"What are you?" Mira whispers harshly. She almost regrets it when Rumi flinches and shuts her eyes as if Mira will strike her, but then she opens them again and her eyes are amber. Mira's eyes widen, and she summons her Gokdo on instinct.
"No," Rumi's voice cracks, and Mira's heart hurts. Her heart hurts because it makes sense. "No, nonono, Mira, please, you didn't.."
Mira points the Gokdo at her. "You're a demon?"
"Please, Mira, I can explain," Rumi takes a step forward, and Mira shifts the Gokdo forward defensively. Rumi freezes, eyes locked on the celestial weapon for a long moment. "You weren't supposed to know, I was going to fix it," She grips the side of the doorframe, and Mira watches, terrified, as Rumi's hand transforms into a claw.
"You're a demon," Mira repeats, and this time it's not a question. "You're a...you're a demon."
"Half," Rumi whispers, sounding so beside herself with guilt that Mira almost falters. Almost. "I'm only half, I just have to... I have to seal the Honmoon, and then I'll be normal, I swear I'll be normal.."
Mira is reminded of the word 'mistake' written so prominently in Rumi's journal, and then she is reminded of long sleeves and her avoidance of the bathhouse. She was tricking them, the whole time. The whole time. "How dare you," Mira breathes. "How dare you do this to us.."
"Mira.." Rumi's eyes widen with fear, and her claws dig into the wooden frame. "Mira, I didn't, I'm not..."
Mira takes another step forward, and Rumi's eyes dart to Zoey. "Don't look at her," Mira growls. "She's mine."
Zoey finally breaks out of her trance and looks up. She gasps softly. "Rumi?"
"Zoey," Rumi's voice wavers. "Zoey, Mira, this wasn't supposed to, you were never supposed to–" her eyes dart between her two best friends and then back at the Gokdo pointed in her direction.
“I'm sorry,” She whispers, letting out a noise dangerously close to a sob before she turns, disappearing from the doorway and running away from her room.
Mira hesitates for only a moment before running after her, exiting the bedroom just in time to hear the penthouse door slam open, the sound of nails against wood, and frantic footsteps moving further away. She makes it to the main room and stops in her tracks, staring at the open door and the claw marks that run across it, like Rumi didn't have enough time to move her clawed hand away when she threw it open.
Zoey steps into the room hesitantly with two Shin-kal in one hand and the journal in the other. For a long moment, nobody says anything.
They just stand there, in a penthouse made for three.
Mira thinks about the fact that a demon has been masquerading as her best friend for who knows how long. Had she always been a demon? Did she get turned and they didn't notice? How could she not notice?
Zoey thinks about the line "Umma, I am scared to die, but I will do it for you," and wonders how that could ever equate to a demon with no feelings.
The moment is broken when Mira slams her Gokdo into the ground with a violence that makes Zoey flinch.
"Fuck!" Mira repeats, over and over again. Her voice cracks each time until she can no longer find the syllables.
Zoey stands frozen in fear. Her Shin-kal clatters to the ground and Mira spins around.
"Zoey–"
"Mira," Zoey breathes, sounding terrified. "Mira, what did you do..."
Mira flinches back. "What?"
"You... you were going to hurt Rumi," Zoey's voice shakes and she takes a step back. "Why would you.."
Mira's eyes widen and she shakes her head. "No, no, I would never hurt Rumi! It–that was a demon, Zo, a demon pretending to be—" her voice cracks as she takes in Zoey's terrified expression. "Zo, she was, it was pretending–"
"She was... she was so scared, Mira!" Zoey's shaking now, one hand gripping Rumi's journal. "Demons don't get scared—"
"Celine says I have to learn how to hide it better before Mira and Zoey get here."
"Demons don't have to learn how to hide!" Zoey screams. There's a split second of tense silence before Zoey breaks down, the journal finally slipping out of her fingers and dropping to the floor.
Zoey's words hit Mira with violence. She glances over at her Gokdo, abandoned where she'd slammed the sharp end into the ground, and realizes that her first choice, when confronted, was violence.
"She was–it wasn't—that wasn't–" Mira's voice is frantic as she tries to explain away her actions, but every word is accompanied by a flash of the absolute fear that crossed Rumi's features.
Rumi had walked into that room a human, and it was only Mira's words, Mira's actions, that changed Rumi into the demonic form that fled. "Oh god," Mira whispers, voice harsh even to herself. "Oh god, what did I do—"
Zoey crashes into Mira and holds onto her like a lifeline.
"Zoey, Zo, what did I—"
"I should've stopped you," Zoey says through a sob. "I was just so–so scared.."
Mira feels the world crash down around her.
Rumi is a demon.
Mira was going to kill a demon.
Mira almost killed Rumi.
"Mira," Zoey whispers, and Mira doesn't hear her. "Mira," she tries again, this time more insistent. "Mira, I don't know what to do."
Mira snaps out of her reverie and holds Zoey tighter. "I–I don't know either."
Zoey sobs into her chest and Mira just barely holds herself back from doing the same.
This is her fault. If she'd just let Rumi explain, if she hadn't chased her away, this wouldn't be happening. None of this would be happening.
"Call Bobby," Mira whispers hoarsely, almost unaware of her own words. Zoey sniffles and nods, but when she tries to pull away, Mira's arms stop her.
"Phone's in... the other room," Zoey whispers, and Mira finally lets go.
Zoey disappears out of view and Mira is left to contemplate everything.