Chapter Text
Lily clenched the material of her robes and felt her satchel sway with her steps as she walked down Diagon Alley by herself for the first time. Although she had been here plenty of times it was always with someone else - usually with her now-ex best friend, Snape, and she felt decidedly less confident without a familiar presence by her side.
The sheer number of people was overwhelming in a way it had never been before. The noise of a hundred different conversations between a hundred different people was overwhelming her and yet she was sure everyone could hear her heart beating like a drum. Her nervousness only increased as she walked toward St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.
The first time she’d come here after realising she was a witch was with professor Mcgonogall. It was one of the most important days of her life. Today would almost definitely be just as important.
Today she would take her classification test.
It was an important day for any witch or wizard. Like her, most people would get classified in the summer holidays before Sixth Year. Sixth Year was a buffer year between OWLs and NEWTs so people had time to get used to their classifications. Classifications included Alphas, Omegas, Caregivers, Littles, Owners, Pets and Neutrals. The boundaries between them however were blurred and people could easily have characteristics belonging to two or more. As the entrance came into view she gripped the satchel on her shoulder, took a deep breath and walked in. “Hi. I’m Lily Evans. I’m here to be classified.” She told the receptionist; thankful her voice wasn’t shaking.
The receptionist, named Agnes if her nametag was to be trusted, smiled kindly. “Of course dear. Just fill these forms and take them up to the department of classification on the 7th floor, room 3.” There was a soft quill and clipboard given to her and she sat down in one of the chairs filling in a form that was much shorter than she expected it to be.
She then stepped into the lift at the end of the foyer. Reaching the seventh floor she stepped into a corridor leading to several other corridors. The first corridor popped with bright colours, featuring doors adorned with colorful patterns and walls adorned with with large polka dots. That would be for the Care of Littles. The second had pastel blue walls and a soft, dark blue carpet. That was probably for Care of Pets. The third hallway looked more like a typical hospital. Everything was crisp white and smelt like disinfectant. The room numbers were printed on the doors. Room 1… Room 2… Room 3!
She knocked. “Come in!” Entering she saw a healer sitting behind a desk. “Hi, I’m Lily Evans.”
The healer smiled at her kindly. “Welcome, Ms Evans. I’m Healer Michael. Why don’t you sit down for me and I’ll explain what’s going to happen next?” Lily sat down in the chair on the other side of the desk. “So, there’s three stages in this test. For the first you only need to fill out a survey of sorts. For the second I’ll give you a potion to drink after which we will perform a small blood test which will tell us your classification. You will get your results about three weeks from now. Okay?”
He handed her some more papers and a quill. She started answering the questions on the paper. The first few questions were pretty generic. Things like ‘What’s your favourite colour’ - Green, ‘Do you have any siblings’ - Yes, one. Then they started getting more specific. Things like ‘What’s is your ideal romantic partner like’ -Don't have one, and ‘What is one thing you would tell your 11-year-old self’ - Make more friends. Towards the end she was given pictures and she had to circle the ones she liked the most. After finishing the quiz, she nervously wiped her palms on her pants, before handing it back to the healer.
He hummed kindly, "Well done. Now, the potion. I’m warning you it’s going to taste terrible. There can also be side effects therefore we are required to keep you under observation for the next two hours.”
He took a small bottle from one of the shelves and opened it before passing it to her. Lily downed it in one gulp before shuddering, “Oh yuck.”
The healer nodded sympathetically. “Isn’t it.” and then grimaced as she promptly threw up all over herself. He vanished the sick, transfigured a paperweight into a glass, and filled it with water. “That is unfortunately a common side effect.”
Still nauseous and slightly embarrassed, Lily drank all the water, wiped her mouth, and nodded when Healer Michael asked if she was feeling better.
“Lily are you ready for the blood test now?” She coughed slightly and grimaced at the slight headache that was forming.
“Yeah.”
With one hand he opened a drawer and took out a small bottle and a small needle. He sat down on his chair, shifting Lily so she was sitting in his lap with her head against his chest. “Lily, I’m going to prick your arm with this needle and draw some blood into the vial. I will cast a numbing spell to make sure you don’t feel anything.” He grasped her smaller hand and pricked it with the needle. She flinched, expecting a sting but felt nothing. A small amount of blood dripped into the vial and then he healed her hand. “That’s done. Now I’ll take you to the observation room. Is there anyone with you?”
“No, I came alone.” Lily answered. Then she followed him as he left the corridor leading her to a room full of beds, indistinguishable from a typical hospital ward. She curled up on a bed in the corner hoping to stave off the mild headache. Despite the thoughts running through her head and the almost physical knot of apprehension in her stomach, she was asleep before she knew it.
Unfortunately it did not last very long. She woke up with a start, leaning over the side of the bed just in time to throw up again. Tears quickly sprang to her eyes as she coughed heavily. Her head swam and her limbs felt heavy. She felt a pair of arms move her and suddenly she was sitting back against the bed. A glass was pressed against her mouth and she drank eagerly, noting that Healer Michaels was the one holding the glass. It wasn't water, but something cold and slightly sweet. Slowly her nausea and dizziness eased off. By the time the two hours were up, she was mostly back to normal save for the mild headache.
It was done. Now only in 3 weeks would she know the outcome. All she could do was wait.
Sirius stumbled through the floo and into the Leaky Cauldron. He brushed the remnants of ash-like floo powder off his shirt. His father emerged gracefully from the fireplace behind him, dressed in impeccably tailored formal robes. Fancy-schmancy family robes or something. Sirius would never admit it out loud, but his father cut an imposing figure in all black. The man was always funeral-ready. “Go to St. Mungo's, Sirius, and then buy your school supplies.” Orion Black commanded and walked away without so much as a goodbye.
Sirius rolled his eyes but did as he was told and stepped out into the always-crowded Diagon Alley, bustling with witches and wizards, either casually shopping or preparing for the upcoming school year. He wasn’t bothered by the cold attitude. On the rare occasions his father deigned to acknowledge him, it had always been like this. His father was distant and cold, and his mother was a screaming, cursing banshee. On top of that, he had to protect Regulus from their mother’s wand and hands. There was no doubt that their mother was insane, and not in a good way. Thankfully she was usually satisfied by punishing him and rarely used more than her sharp tongue on Regulus. He’d gladly live in that house for a hundred years if it meant his little brother never experienced what he did at their mother’s hand.
He stopped as he realised that he’d reached the entrance of the hospital. Suddenly a bottomless pit opened up inside his stomach. Shoving his shaking hands into his pockets, he stepped inside. As he walked in, he greeted the receptionist. “Hi. I’m Sirius, and I’m here to be classified.” The receptionist looked up and handed Sirius a stack of forms to fill out. After completing the forms, she directed him to the department of classification.
As he entered the lift, his stomach felt like it was doing flips. He was definitely going to be one of the dominant classifications. Alpha would be ideal, but Neutral or Owner would work too. Possibly even caregiver but his father was one and had no paternal instincts toward his biological children, let alone anyone else. He'd rather not share that particular trait.
There was no doubt in Sirius's mind; he couldn’t possibly be anything else. He stepped out and walked to the third hallway, Room 5, and opened the door without knocking. The woman at the desk looked up. “Oh! Please come in. I’m Healer Coldwell. Take a seat, and I will explain the procedure to you."
“I already know. My cousin told me, " Sirius responded quietly. Why was his throat so dry all of a sudden? Healer Coldwell raised her eyebrows. “Okay. Let’s start then.” She pushed the survey test to the side of the desk where Sirius was supposed to sit. Sirius climbed into the chair, took a quill, and started writing.
The survey seemed absurdly random, and by the time he was done, his wrist was aching. Still, he handed it back and watched her flip through it to make sure it was complete before tucking it away in one of the drawers.
“I’m going to give you the potion now. Be careful, it can have some nasty side effects.” Andromeda, told him that she’d had the worst headache of her life after she took the potion. She was an alpha who married and mated Ted Tonks. The rest of the family wasn’t too happy about it but they couldn’t interfere between a mate-bond. Still she was pretty much estranged from most of the family. Multiple times she’d told him he was welcome at her house but he couldn’t leave Regulus on his own. So he stayed.
He watched curiously as the healer unlocked a cabinet with her wand, uttering a soft spell under her breath. She took out two vials, one filled with a dark green liquid and the other empty. She carefully uncorked the full one and handed it to him.
“Drink up. Be warned though, it tastes awful.” Sirius gulped it down and nearly retched. Between gags, he tried to catch his breath. It tasted like a cross between mouldy socks and days-old food. Why they couldn’t find a way to improve the taste was beyond him.
Sadly the nausea didn’t fade, and he barely managed to avoid throwing up. He held out his hand to the healer for her to collect blood while he focused on keeping his lunch inside him, where it should stay. He barely noticed as she drew the blood and then swiftly healed his palm, leaving no trace of the cut.
“We’ll head to one of the observation rooms. Unfortunately, you can’t take any anti-nausea or other potions at this point, but it should subside quite quickly.”
Easy for her to say. She wasn’t the one two seconds away from splattering the contents of her stomach all over the sterile floor. The problem was solved for him when, not even two steps from the chair, his head began to spin and his vision went black.
Sirius woke up in a small room with a plain white ceiling bathed in soft, gentle lights, the air carrying a faint scent of disinfectant. A thin blue sheet covered him, tucked in around his shoulders, and there was a small pillow under his head. Thankfully he didn’t feel sick anymore. In his opinion Andromeda got the better deal, getting away with just a headache. Half an hour later, Sirius was discharged, a mix of relief and anxiety swirling in his mind. So much was on the line, and all he could do was wait helplessly.
Notes:
next update: 3/8/25 - hopefully
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Notes:
Guys i added what was originally chapter 2 to chapter 1 because it felt off on it's own. Please go back and read that before reading this.
Chapter Text
She had barely left her room for the last three days, but no one had come to check on her. When Petunia was getting her classification everybody was fluttering over her like she was about to receive a national award. Of course perfect Petunia presented as a perfect omega. Then again, Muggles only had Alphas, Omegas and neutrals.
Ergo purebloods prided themselves on their larger range and other classifications were considered more magical. In her opinion, it was all nonsense.
Somehow, despite doing his level best to distance himself from everything muggle, Snape had once confided in her that he could never get used to littles. He had put it in slightly less polite language calling them useless burdens on society.
Likewise her parents found all the other classifications unnatural and disgusting. They had made it very, very clear that they disapproved of any designation but the perfectly ordinary ones they were used to. Any other presentation would mean she would no longer be welcome in this house. It had long stopped being her home when they left her on her own with no money or food for two weeks while they went on vacation with petunia because they forgot she was coming home.
It had scared her to death to pack it but there was a bag of essentials beside her. She prayed she wouldn't need it since she had nowhere to go.
Lily was dragged out of her thoughts by a tap-tap-tap noise. An owl! Its beak gently tapped against a window, and it carried a large, thin packet that clearly was not a casual letter. She flung the window open hard enough to rattle the frame and quickly untied the smooth envelope from the owl’s leg. She nearly ripped it apart then and there before thinking the better of it.
Deep breaths, deep breaths. She stuffed the letter into her bag and slung it over one shoulder. Smoothing her face she crept out of her room, hoping no one would stop her.
“Where are you going?”
So much for that. “Out,” she replied as neutrally as she could. “I need to clear my head.”
Petunia smirked haughtily, “Worried about your classification? I would be too if there was a chance I would turn into a pathetic cry-baby who can’t do anything herself.”
“Shut up Petunia!” Lily growled. Marching out of the house, her hands were curled into fists at her side. As soon as she was out of sight she began running. Her first thought was to go to the park where she first met Snape but the last thing she needed was to run into him. Instead she ran to the lake. Her breath came raggedly and sweat dripped down the back of her neck but she didn’t stop.
It was dark and still and so small that it barely counted as a lake but it was empty. Cokeworth itself was out of the way and this was further out than that. Near the edge, she collapsed, gasping for breath.
No matter how much she willed it to slow, her heart continued to attempt to beat out of her ribcage. Hands shaking it took her four attempts to tear open the envelope. Upon opening it, she found a folder and a slip of parchment inside.
She took out the parchment first.
Name: Lily Marie Evans
Age: 15
Date of Birth: 30th October 1981
Classification Range: Deep Headspace Little
Formal Classification: Little
Headspace Age: 0-24 months
Congratulations on your classification. More details are provided in the blood report attached. For any concerns or queries send a letter to the Department of Classification at St Mungo’s or the National Classification Authority at the Ministry.
Regards,
Marvolo Riddle-Nott
Head of The National Classification Department.
No. This couldn't be her. It couldn't.
The paper slipped from her hand. A scream clawed its way up her throat. She screamed and screamed till her throat was raw and hurting. Then she buried her face in her hands and cried.
Theodore Riddle-Nott sighed. It was always the muggles. Why was it always the muggles and their inability to accept anything they were unfamiliar with. Welfare checks on the newly presented muggleborns was standard procedure and every year he was reminded why.
There were always some families that just could not accept that their children were not bound to the same rules as them. And that led him to his current situation, dealing with petty minded muggle parents (if they could even be called that) while setting up a search for newly classified little Lily Evans. The family's reaction on learning her classification was utterly disgusting.
“That freak has no place here,” a young woman, presumably her sister, sneered. The caregiver in him wanted to throttle her while the omega wanted to wring the neck of the mother who was showing no concern at all. While his rare classification made him uniquely suited for his position (working closely with his husband was just a nice bonus) it made situations like this even worse.
According to the family she had been missing for nearly three hours, likely leaving just after receiving her letter. A search of her room revealed no letter but also no wand, and he was inclined to believe that this was another runaway. That was better than some other cases.
“Hold them here for now. Once we find the girl we can obliviate them. She will not return here.”
Not twenty minutes later they found her.
If she wasn’t clearly distraught and sobbing he would have cooed upon seeing her. With her freckles and big green eyes she was absolutely adorable. There was no fighting his headspace now but even though she wouldn’t present properly for months yet she probably needed the comfort. Being an overlap classification came with its own issues but that was one thing an omega-caregiver could provide in spades.
Gently he sat down next to her, “Hi Lily. My name is Theodore, from the Department of Classification. I hear you got a big piece of news today.” The only response he got was another sob. Taking a chance he gently put a hand on her back and started rubbing circles. “It must be overwhelming.” He moved his hand up and started stroking her head. Slowly she leaned into the touch, sobs fading away to sniffles. “I’m sure it's been a very long day and you must be tired. It's getting dark and very cold. Would you like to come with me?”
“I can’t go home.” She whispered
He struggled to contain a wince upon hearing the hoarseness in Lily's voice. All he wanted was to draw her into his lap and feed her warm milk till it no longer hurt. His inner omega was whining that the pup was scared-sad-cold-hungry.
“Well we’re not taking you home. We’re taking you to a nice warm bed in a place that’s safe. Does that sound good?” He received a slow nod, probably the best he could expect.
He held out his hand, and after she took it, they both stood up. “I’m going to side-along apparate both of us alright?” Another nod and her grip on his arm tightened.
As he pulled her close he swore he would do whatever it took to make her happier.
The room was completely silent aside from the occasional clinking of cutlery. Sirius deliberately scraped his plate harder than necessary and it echoed in the smothering atmosphere. The tension in the air was palpable. Slouched posture, dishevelled clothes and messy hair, he gave all the impression of careless nonchalance. Or so he hoped. He desperately tried to maintain his cool exterior, reality was a little bit different.
For the last two days every little noise had him jumping. He’d spent so much time looking out of the window in his room, waiting for any sign of the results, he’d practically counted each blade of grass. Seventeen bushes, twenty-four crows, and seven trees in eyesight but not a single owl. And now he was stuck with the entire extended family.
Andromeda was at the very end of the table whispering with their Uncle Alphard. Like usual neither Ted nor baby Nymphadora was here. He wished he could sit there. It would be less stifling. But no. He was stuck with his mother on one side of him and his father on the other side. His grandfather was at the head of the table.
Then there was a tapping noise at one of the windows. An owl. It carried a cream coloured envelope that was too large to be a letter. Everyone’s attention was instantly drawn to it, including Sirius’. It was addressed to him. Sirius Black.
Fuck. Fucking fuckity fuck. It had to come now didn’t it. Of course. At the worst possible time. There was literally no possible worse time for this letter to come. He was about to jump out of his chair and snatch the envelope but his mother wrapped one claw around his arm and practically trapped him in his seat.
"Sit down, Sirius," she hissed, her grip tightening. "You will not embarrass this family by acting like a fool." Sirius clenched his jaw, seething with frustration as he watched the owl drop the envelope onto the table and fly away into the night. Her nails were digging into his arm and they were the only thing he could feel as the rest of the room faded out of focus. The room was cold before but now it was frigid.
He snapped back into focus when he felt the vice-like grip on his arm fade. His mother had the letter in her hand and was reading it. Bile rose in his throat when she looked up. He knew that madness in her eyes. It was familiar from countless arguments they had in the past. It was a look that always preceded injury. Whatever was in that letter was not good enough for her. He would almost be happy to spite her but whether the pain that followed would be worth it was undetermined.
She set it down on the table but before he could even see what was written her wand was in her hand. His world exploded in pain. There was only pain. Distantly he heard someone screaming. Oh wait. That was his voice. Stars burst in front of his closed eyes and his body seized. Then he sunk into blissful darkness leaving the pain and fear behind.
It was rare that Marvolo Riddle-Nott was called on to personally supervise a case. As a department head most of his work now consisted of coordination between various sub-departments. Which is why, when he was called to St. Mungo’s for a case involving an injured little, he knew it was serious.
But never in his wildest dreams did he imagine this.
“Would you repeat that?” He asked, voice dangerously close to an alpha-growl. The healer standing before him took a deep breath before speaking again. "The child's core readings are consistent with the darkest magic."
“Witnesses say Walburga Black performed the Cruciatus on her son after he was classified as a little. As far as we can determine it was for no longer than twenty seconds before she was subdued by other members of the family so more than likely there’s no permanent damage done.” The Auror that called him responded with a frown.
It took everything in him not to find that bloody woman and wring her neck like a rag-doll. But for now his focus needed to be on the young pup.
He turned to Sirius’ newly assigned caseworker. “What’s his current status?”
“Stable for now although he still hasn’t woken up,” She responded. “We’re keeping him here for at least two days, probably closer to four or five.” He nodded
“Inform me when he wakes up. Do you have his file?” She handed him a plain folder. He quickly scanned through the initial documents, noting the descriptions and severity of the injuries.
He sat down in one of the chairs in the foyer and began flipping through to his classification details.
Name: Sirius Orion Black
Age:15
Date of Birth: 12th November 1959
Classification Range: Deep Headspace Little
Formal Classification: Little
Headspace Age: 0-24 months
Marvolo quickly flipped to the blood reports till he found the section he was looking for.
Blanchard Index: 88.6
The Blanchard index is the standard for measuring headspace needs.
0-40: indicates a neutral headspace although there might be an inclination toward certain classifications.
40-50: indicates a low-needs or low-level headspace. These individuals do not need to spend much time in headspace or experience deep headspace. Official recommendation is at least a total of 50 hours a month in headspace for submissive and overlap classifications, and at least 30 hours a month for dominant classifications.
50-70: indicates a normal headspace. These individuals regress frequently and can sometimes enter deep headspace. Official recommendation is at least 70 hours a month in headspace for submissive or overlap classifications and 50-60 hours a month for dominant classifications.
70-100: indicates a high-level or high needs headspace. These individuals experience an almost permanent state of headspace, and often enter deep headspace. It is recommended that they not be out of headspace for longer than 100 hours a month. This headspace is almost unique to littles.
He looked up when someone sat down next to him, sporting a similar file. Theodore, his omega, his mate, his love. His husband looked at him concerned, probably smelling the distress on him. Theodore reached out, brown curls splayed out across his forehead and gently squeezed his hand, offering comfort and reassurance without words.
“You aren’t usually here. Is everything alright?”
No. Everything was not alright.
Chapter Text
Theodore got Lily settled in one of the rooms. She didn’t speak much; whether from shock or exhaustion, he couldn’t tell. He felt better after watching her finish a mug of hot cocoa and some warm porridge. She fell asleep quickly after and he began compiling a list of people that would be suitable as a temporary foster placement. An idea began building in the back of his head but he was interrupted with the information that his husband was in the hospital. He reached the foyer and could smell the distress practically dripping from him.
Worried beyond belief, he asked Marvolo if something was wrong. The answer made him seethe. The cruel bitch that whelped that poor child deserved to rot in hell. There was a picture of the pup in the file, and the idea of even a scratch being deliberately inflicted on him made the omega snarl.
“He’s safe, love. That wretched woman can’t hurt him any longer. We’ll make sure of it.” Marvolo gripped his hand tightly. Theodore saw the anguish in his eyes. This would no doubt remind Marvolo of his own childhood. Even over four decades later he was haunted. Thankfully his parents fostered Marvolo after he was classified as an alpha-caregiver and it was fate that Theodore was classified as an omega-caregiver the year after.
In their almost three decades of marriage, they had fostered numerous young alphas, omegas, and littles but never had children of their own. They’d thought about adopting their last foster, almost exactly three years ago, but caseworkers determined a placement with a family member was better for the child, and it’d broken their heart. It’d been so long with an empty house and nest.
Now wasn’t the time to bring that up, though he would keep it in mind. Instead, Theodore handed his husband the file he was holding and began talking about Lily.
“Blanchard index of 92.8.” He watched the way Marvolo’s hands tightened on the file he was holding as he looked at the photograph of her. He continued onwards. “I’m looking for suitable caregivers with whom she can be fostered, but for a couple of days I want her monitored here, plus a full physical exam.”
They were interrupted by the arrival of a healer. “Mr Riddle, he’s awake.”
Sirius groaned. He felt more like a pile of jelly than anything identifiably human. He opened his eyes, blinking rapidly against the light. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a low, unintelligible whine. Footsteps sounded next to his bed, and he saw the face of an unfamiliar woman come into view. Whoever it was was wearing the familiar blue robes of St Mungo's healers.
"Hello, Sirius. Don’t try to speak yet; just blink if you can hear me.”
Sirius blinked.
“Very good.” The healer praised. She helped him sit up and held a cup of water to his mouth. Greedily, he sipped from it. It was sweet and his throat immediately felt better. She threw away the empty cup and helped him sit up in bed. He was in a typical hospital room, with several easily visible monitoring spells. There was a chair in the far corner, but it was unoccupied.
“Is that better?” the healer asked kindly.
“Yeah.” He answered, throat still slightly sore. Slowly he recollected what had happened. While it was no secret that his mother hated him, this was further than he ever thought she’d go.
“How long was I out?” he asked.
“It’s only been a couple of hours.” The healer responded, waved to him and left the room.
A sinking suspicion began forming in his mind. Whatever was on that test clearly upset her beyond any capacity to reason. So he definitely wasn’t one of the dominant classifications ‘capable of upholding the family name’. Whatever. The stupid “family name” could be disgraced. He likely wasn’t a neutral or even an omega either; that would still have given him some space. So pet or little.
Before he could follow that train of thought, a familiar face practically burst into the room.
“Sirius!” Andromeda breathed, looking very much worse for the wear. Her hair was dishevelled, and her once-pristine robes were crumpled. And then he was enveloped in the arms of the only person he could say truly loved him. His eyes burned and tears involuntarily spilt out.
“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” She soothed, her own voice wobbly. “You’re safe, I promise.”
He wiped his eyes and gave her a small smile, but that faded quickly as he said, “Where’s Reg? Is he still with her? She’ll hurt-”
“He’s at my house.” Andromeda interrupted. “Him and Cissa. I’m going to do my level best to keep them there.” Sirius nodded; his baby brother would be safe there.
He wanted to ask her about his classification, but the words stuck in his throat and felt like they were choking him, like saying them would cause the world to tilt on its axis. “I- My- The results…” was all that stuttered out. Pulling a neatly folded sheet from her pocket, she handed it to him with an encouraging smile.
“I’ve seen what was in there, and I still love you with all my heart. It changes nothing."
The reassurance helped a bit, but his hands were still shaking as he unfolded it.
Formal Classification: Little
Headspace Age: 0-24 months
Oh.
He didn’t know what to think. This took any plans he had for his future and kicked them off a cliff. He’d been told he was ‘immature’ enough to think about what would happen if he presented as a little (nothing good, he’d predicted correctly), but he’d never even considered such a young headspace. What caregiver would even have the time and energy to deal with a headspace like his?
“-irius! Sirius! Pup!” Came an alpha-growl His head snapped up. Andromeda took both his hands in hers, paper crumpled between them. The warmth grounded him. "Breathe, pup. In. Out. In. Out. Good pup.”
He curled into her arms and let her stroke his head, the way she’d done at family dinners years ago, all the cousins hiding scared in his room while the adults were fighting. It was no surprise she had left as soon as humanly possible.
Just then they were interrupted by someone entering the room.
Marvolo entered the room Sirius was in and was greeted by a clearly distressed pup being comforted in the embrace of an older alpha. He presumed that it would be Andromeda Tonks. He'd been informed by the healer that she was also waiting for Sirius to wake. It was good to know the pup hadn’t been completely denied affection.
He fought his headspace. The situation needed him to be a ministry official, not a concerned caregiver. He waited while Sirius calmed enough to turn to him.
“Good evening, Mr Black. My name is Marvolo Riddle-Nott.” He did his best to keep his voice soft and calming. “I’m the head of the department of classification.”
"Hello, Mr Riddle-Nott.” The answer came, steadier than he expected.
“It’s very good to see you awake. I will not take up too much of your time, but I want you to know I’m very sorry about what happened to you. You are safe now.” He crouched down, meeting the gaze of Sirius' watery grey eyes. The fear in those eyes had him holding back some choice words directed toward the bitch who whelped him. “I promise we will make sure you never have to worry about anything like this happening again, alright?”
Sirius nodded.
“I’m going to leave you with your cousin for now, and I hope you recover well. Is it okay if I come to see you again tomorrow with some other people?”
On receiving an affirmative response, he smiled, thanked them both, and left before his headspace crashed down on him. He stopped outside the room, annoyed with himself. Clearly it had been too long since he’d had any real time in headspace if just a few minutes with a compatible little had him so worked up. Standing in the hallway, he stared at the door, gathering himself.
As he began walking away, the door creaked open. Mrs Tonks managed to put up an impressive alpha-stare given her dishevelled state. But he wouldn’t be cowed by someone twenty-five years his junior.
“When can I take him home with me?”
Ah. It was admirable, he supposed, wanting to take responsibility. Sadly, he would have to shatter that illusion. "Mrs Tonks, while your concern is appreciated, it is unlikely that Sirius will be placed in your care.”
She stopped short. “Why not? You can’t send him back there!”
Who does she believe she is? He turned sharply and faced her. Trying to contain his growl, he spoke, “I do not intend to. However, you do not have the classification nor credentials to deal with a case like this. Sirius has not presented yet, but when he does, you will be utterly unequipped to care for him.”
He saw the barb of his words land, evident in the way she stiffened her spine and raised her head. Softening slightly, he continued, “It is our job to keep him safe, and we will. There are specific plans being put in place to ensure his well-being. If what I have heard is to be believed, you have two new residents in your home, both of whom need you to be there for them. Focus on them and let us do our job too.”
She drew back, accepting that rebuke. “Any information you have, any people you are considering as his caregivers—I want to know. Whoever is fostering him, whoever is representing him. I. Need. To. Know.”
“Very well." Fiery, this one. But she meant well. There was almost certainly going to be a fight between her and the other set of parents for custody of the other children. He’d put in a good word for her.
Now he just wanted this damn day to be over.
That night, in the dimly lit room, Theodore sat nestled in blankets on a sofa near the crackling fire, holding pictures of both pups. He heard his alpha floo in, and though he was graceful as ever, the exhaustion was evident in every taut line of his body.
He watched his husband’s eyes rake over the temporary nest he’d constructed, needing some way to satisfy the longing-need-yearning that hadn’t left him all day. Though his alpha's arms provided some comfort, they couldn't fill the void in his heart that had expanded from the size of a galleon to an overwhelming, icy emptiness within his bones.
Gently, the pictures were prised from his hand, and his husband kissed both his palms.
“I didn’t know it had gotten this bad.” Theodore heard the unspoken apology of an alpha who believed he’d not cared for his omega.
“Neither did I. But we can fix it. Can't we? We can help them, even just one of them.” Pulling Marvolo down into the nest, he wrapped the blankets around both of them. His head tucked into Marvolo’s neck, one hand wrapped around his torso, he purred softly, “Please, Alpha. I need it. You need it.” The other hand came up to rest right over his partner's heart.
“I couldn’t say no if I wanted to. If you wish, we will try again.”
“Both of them? I couldn’t bear to leave either.” The broad chest beside him vibrated with a laugh. “Both of them, if that is what you desire.” He smiled, truly happy.
In the early morning, he awoke to find the bed empty. The spot beside him was cold, and the pillow was barely wrinkled. It wasn’t unusual for his husband to wake early, but it was closer to night than morning. This time though, when he padded down the hallway, he saw something highly unusual. His husband was asleep on the couch, inside the not-yet-cleared makeshift nest, with two pictures clutched in his palms.
Theodore knew his husband. Now that he had decided those pups were theirs, he would not let them go.
Notes:
You know i honestly forgot about James, Remus, etc
What classifications do y'all think they should have? Actually here's a list of characters that could potentially feature later on in the story. What do you guys think would make interesting classifications for them.
a. James Potter
b. Regulus Black
c. Remus Lupin
d. Narcissa Black
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Notes:
tw! allusion to infertility - its not mentioned but implied. Its a blink and you'll miss it moment though.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
So many tests. Lily didn’t know how many tests they ran on her, but she was constantly being poked and prodded. Apparently because she was a Muggle-born, she’d not received some optional but recommended inoculations for magical diseases. The nice officer, who’d introduced himself as Theodore Riddle-Nott, had promised to come back today and talk to her about where she’d be staying. In the meanwhile she’d met with her case worker, Luella Hill, who was now coordinating all the medical stuff that had to happen. At least she was explaining the medical stuff. All the St. Mungo’s staff treated her like—well—like a baby. They patted her head and cooed but didn’t answer her questions and talked over her to Miss Hill instead. She wanted to scream. This isn’t what should have happened.
The door quietly opened. A very tall man with black hair and cold blue eyes entered, followed by Mr. Riddle-Nott. He wasn’t wearing ministry robes this time. Just a shirt and pants.
The black-haired one remained standing, but Theodore sat on the chair and smiled at her. "Hello, Lily. It's lovely to see you again. I’d like you to meet my husband, Marvolo.”
"Hello, Lily.” Marvolo greeted
“Hi.” She waved at both of them. Marvolo was a little intimidating, but his voice was nice, so she wouldn't make any assumptions.
“You look like you’re not very happy.” He came closer and knelt down beside her bed. She was a little embarrassed that they’d noticed so quickly, but maybe they would tell her more.
“Everybody here is acting like I can't understand what is going on. No one is answering any questions I ask.” Theodore reached out and stroked her head, and she leaned into the warmth of his hand.
"Well, we’re here now. Ask away.”
She sighed, relieved. The most important question first. “I don’t have to go back, do I?”
Marvolo answered, “No, not at all. All of your stuff has been brought here.”
That was good, but it brought up another problem: “Then where do I go? I don’t have any other family.”
Theodore smiled. "Well, we actually wanted to talk to you about that. You’ll stay here for one more day to be on the safe side. After that we were thinking you’d come stay with us for a bit; how does that sound?”
Oh. That wasn’t so bad. She was thinking of so many worse things.
"What—what about my classification? What happens now?”
Marvolo got up and sat on the opposite side of her bed. He took one of her hands in his. Maybe she should have pulled away, but all she truly wanted was to melt into the warmth.
“I’ll explain everything. The first thing you should know is that anything your family told you about littles was wrong. They are loved and treasured. You are not any less important for your classification.”
Tears pricked the back of her eyes, and she bit her lip. She wasn’t going to cry here and now. Theodore handed her a glass of water. Taking a few sips, she looked at Marvolo again.
He continued, “You have a very young and very deep headspace. This does mean you will spend more time than not in your headspace. As you know, that is within the range of 12-18 months. While you might show at least some traits of your classification, you will only drop fully into headspace after you turn sixteen. This is what is known as a presentation.”
She frowned, “Indicators like?” The two men exchanged an unreadable look.
"Well, a headspace affects both emotional and physical experiences and behaviour. One example is you may feel your emotions more intensely than you do now. Sadness, happiness, anger, hunger, etcetera. Another is you may find yourself exhibiting self-soothing behaviours or being drawn to toys that fit your headspace range. The type of food you like will change.”
Something struck her, and she cringed. “Will I need to use nappies?"
“Well, I will be honest. You almost definitely will. It’s nothing to be ashamed of though.”
“Even outside headspace?” The texture of the thin sheet suddenly seemed very interesting to her.
A soft hand cupped her cheek. "Yes, Lily, but it’s not a bad or dirty thing.”
She looked at them both. “Will anyone still want me? Even with… everything?”
Theodore drew her head in and cupped her cheek. “Different caregivers want different things. For example, Marvolo and I are most compatible with younger headspaces. Like yours. And I’ll tell you a little secret. There is one other person who has been classified as a little similar to your headspace. We can’t tell you who just yet, but we’re looking at having you both stay with us. Whatever you go through, you will not be alone.”
This time she couldn’t push the tears back. She tried wiping her eyes roughly, but Marvolo softly pulled her hands away and held them. “You can cry. It is okay to cry.”
Once she calmed down, she continued to pepper them with questions, and they answered every single one.
Sirius stared at the ceiling. He was bored. He couldn’t even get out of bed. The healers watched him like a hawk after he once tried to get up to use the washroom and ended up falling. He just wanted to use the washroom, and someone had to carry him with a Feather-light charm. Well, maybe he should get used to that. He had pointedly avoided thinking about his classification by falling asleep, but even after everything, he could only sleep for so long.He heard the door gently open, and he pushed himself up to see who it was. It was Marvolo, with some other people.
“Good morning, Sirius. You are looking better.” He said, in the same calm tone, but somehow softer than yesterday.
“I feel better.” It was true, even. But he still felt like every part of him had been pounded to a pulp and then put back together with tiny little threads on the verge of snapping.
“That is very good to hear.” Marvolo gestured to the people with him. “These are some colleagues of mine. The lady here is Miss Isabel Pearson. She is your caseworker. For you, that means anything you need or anything you’re confused about, you can ask her. It is her job to make sure you get everything you need, alright?” A woman with black hair and glasses waved to him. She was the only one not wearing a plain, green ministry uniform.
He took the hand of a slight man with curly brown hair and kind eyes. “This is my husband, Theodore.
“The others with me are Eddie Reyes—" The blond man waved, "—and Anthony Russel. They need to ask you a few questions. If you feel, for any reason, you can’t answer any of the questions, you do not have to.”
This was about his mother, wasn't it?
The two men shook hands with him and sat down in a couple of chairs that were in the room. “We’re just here to ask you a few questions. If you need a break, just let us know.”
They asked him a wider range of questions than he expected. About his time at Hogwarts, about all his family, not just his mother. One of the men, Reyes maybe, kept taking notes with a quill. At the end of it all, he wanted to do was pull the blankets over his head and pretend nothing else in the world existed. Finally, they wrapped up and left.
Sirius stared at nothing in particular while Marvolo discussed something with Miss Pearson. The words being said were unintelligible, just adding to the background noise in the room. The bed dipped beside him. Theodore gently laid a hand on his arm, limp under the blankets. When he didn’t react beyond turning his head, the older man’s hand moved up and began stroking his head. Before long, his eyes were closing. He fell asleep to the sound of someone humming an unfamiliar but soothing song.
They had, maybe, been overzealous in assuming they would be able to adopt Sirius and Lily, just like that. After an exhausting back-and-forth between both case workers, several ministry officials, and them; an impromptu home inspection (Theodore mentally thanked their house-elf); two hours convincing a judge; and several favours called in, an agreement was reached.
They would foster them both for a period of three months, with visits from the caseworkers twice a month. If either caseworker felt their charges needs were not being met, they could schedule meetings with other prospective caregivers. Theodore had to grab hold of Marvolo’s wrist to stop him from cursing the judge at this. If at the end of three months everyone was satisfied, they would be able to adopt the littles.
It was also fairly evident that they could not continue to work full time and take care of Lily and Sirius, so they spent the rest of the day dealing with all the problems stepping away from their jobs would create. No doubt they would still be called in multiple times over the next few weeks to get everything sorted. Fortunately money was not an issue for them.
“Perhaps I shall be able to dedicate more time to my academic pursuits.” Marvolo mused. Theodore barely refrained from snorting. “Two very young pups in the house and you think you’ll have time for anything else? Maybe for a month or so, but not after they start slipping.”
"No, I suppose not.” He smiled ruefully.
“I’ve set aside two of the rooms as bedrooms and another two as nurseries. Perhaps even a playroom later on. Tilly is currently setting them up, but they are rather plain. We must go shopping with them both. I haven’t decorated much more than the bare bones of the nursery. I want to find out what they both like before I do that.” Theodore rambled.
Marvolo smiled fondly. “Are you planning on nesting in any one of the rooms? I can aid you in its setup."
"Not—not yet. Maybe soon.” Theodore stared at his hands. Even three years later the memory of disassembling the precious nest that was once the happiest place he knew was vivid in his mind. Almost as raw as the doctors appointment close to twenty years ago when... He shook his head.
Two large arms began rubbing his shoulders. “I will be there whenever you need me.”
Lily would be here tomorrow, Sirius the day after. This was a new chapter, and he would make sure it didn’t end the same way. They had three months, and that was more than enough.
Notes:
In my universe omegas only "nest" when they are pregnant, have young kids (like less than 4 years old) or in periods of deep emotional turmoil. Omega-Caregivers with younder littles however, basically have a permanent nest.
kudos & comments = motivation = more chapters for you guys
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Summary:
first days;)
Notes:
guys please note I've edited their headspace ages so they both are in the same bracket of 0-24 months. It makes no difference to the story right now, just keep it in mind.
Chapter Text
Lily sat on her new bed, the sun having long since set, on one of the weirdest days of her life. That afternoon, she’d been discharged from St Mungo's, and Theodore had been waiting for her in the foyer. He’d gently apparated her to the largest house she’d ever seen. It’d taken half an hour to get used to just how huge it was. Her room too. The bed was so big, she was pretty sure it could comfortably fit at least four people.
She’d expected something a little more childish, but the room was perfectly normal, with a desk, a closet and a bookshelf. Somehow, all of her books and clothes had been brought here, but the room still looked at least half-empty.
She’d taken her first proper shower in two days, spent the entire evening hiding inside her room and only come out for dinner.
At her house dinner used to be a mostly silent affair, but here, Marvolo and Theodore would talk about anything and everything. They kept asking her questions and making little jokes. Finally they dropped a dungbomb and revealed that the other little, who would be coming tomorrow, was Sirius Black.
She wasn’t really expecting anything, but it still caught her by surprise. Then again, people would probably say the same thing about her. The one thing that was unexplained was why he was staying with them. He had a large family; surely there would be at least one caregiver. When she asked, though, they just said that he couldn’t stay there. There was definitely more to that story, but she had a feeling pushing would not reveal anything, and she couldn’t be too annoying. She had nowhere else to stay.
As she slipped under the covers and switched off the lights, all she knew was tomorrow was going to be unpredictable at best.
Sirius twisted the hem of his shirt between two fingers. He was finally leaving the hospital. He was almost completely fine, aside from the exhaustion. He was also moving into the house of two strangers along with a classmate (or maybe ex-classmate; he’d have to ask about that). The craziness with his school life was another matter altogether; they didn’t really like him very much.
With one hand on his back, Marvolo apparated them both to the house. It wasn’t as big as his grandfather's estate but was a fair bit bigger than Grimmauld. He was gently led inside to the dining room. The table was set for four, but no one was eating yet.
They didn’t sit down either. Marvolo instead led him to his new room. There was another door right next to it, but it was closed.
“Why don’t you have a shower and then come to the table? By then it’ll be time for lunch.” That sounded just fine.
After a slightly longer than usual shower, Sirius tentatively walked out of the room. At least the dining room was quite close. He walked in, and everybody was already seated, including one familiar redhead. Normally that would mean a screaming match for being late, but both Marvolo and Theodore smiled when they saw him. Evans waved awkwardly. He waved back.
Thus followed the most awkward dinner he’d ever experienced. The atmosphere was weird at best. Marvolo and Theodore tried to start conversations, but it seemed he and Evans shared the mutual goal of getting out of this room as quickly as possible.
He picked at the food, not really hungry, and made a tactical retreat back to his room as soon as possible. All but collapsing into bed, he felt his eyes droop. A short nap was not out of order, and it would keep him out of the way.
Sirius awoke slowly to find that said “short” nap had carried on well into the night. At some point someone had closed the curtains of the windows in his room and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. Casting a tempus charm, he winced. It was well past midnight. Nor would he be able to go back to sleep.
He stumbled out of bed and opened the curtains, to be greeted by a dark landscape and starry skies. Time to try something. He pushed it upward. It opened!
The windows in his room had long since been spelled shut permanently. Briefly he wondered what would happen if he climbed out. They were on the ground floor. But maybe it was best not to test that boundary on the first day.
He was also hungry. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t know where the kitchen was. Or who the house-elves were. Or even if there were house elves. It was the perfect time to look around a bit, though.
The door opened with a creak that had him wincing. He stepped out only for the door next to his to swing open.
“Oh. Hi." Evans stood in the doorway to what seemed to be her room. Unlike him, she was in striped pyjamas. He didn’t ask why she was awake.
“Hey.”
They both stood there for a bit, not really sure what to do.
"Um, do you know where the kitchen is?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Oh, um, yeah. You’re probably hungry. Follow me.” She walked down the hallway and through the hallway, passing a set of stairs. To the right there were two doors, one open. That was the kitchen.
“The other door’s the library.” He entered after her. Inside the kitchen they both awkwardly made eye contact.
“I don’t really know where stuff is.” She began opening cupboards, and he followed suit.
“Are we even allowed to be here now?” He asked.
“Theodore said we could eat whenever we wanted, but he said to call Tilly, the house elf. She’s probably asleep though, so I guess it’s okay.” Evans replied, trying to see inside the higher cupboards.
The third cupboard revealed a box with a cooling charm on it. Inside were some sausage rolls under a stasis charm.
Evans placed a jug of orange juice on the countertop.
“Juice?” she asked.
Objectively, it wasn’t funny. There was no reason to think it was even remotely funny, but he still covered his mouth to stop himself from giggling. She bit her lip, and her shoulders were shaking. They both sank to the kitchen floor, whisper-laughing more at the absurdity of their situation than anything else. Just like that, the tension that had built up was gone.
Evans stood and poured them two glasses and put the jug back. “Do you want to eat here or…”
“I’m kinda sick of being inside. That’s basically all I've done these holidays before… everything.”
“We can try to sit on the porch. There are some chairs there.”
“Sounds good.”
It was right next to the kitchen, not nearly the distance they’d walked earlier. The large double doors opened much more smoothly than the door to his room. The crisp night air blew through the fairly large enclosure, dragging a few leaves with it. He shivered, but the cold felt good.
Evans sank down into one of the cushioned chairs while he remained standing. For a while they were both silent, eating from the box placed on the table or sipping juice.
"This is so fucking weird.”
Sirius laughed, not expecting the swear.
“Don’t laugh. One minute I’m doing transfiguration homework, and the next I’ve been sent to live with strangers. Nice strangers, but still. And the whole classification thing. I’m basically going to turn into a baby. It's so…” She trailed off.
“I know. It’s terrifying if I stop and think about it. But we kind of have no choice in the matter. It’ll happen whether we want it to or not.”
She sighed, “I guess so.” then smirked, “Wise words from you, Black? Who would’ve thought?"
“Don’t expect it too often. And we’re living in the same house; you might as well call me Sirius.”
“Call me Lily then.”
There was another fairly long silence. Sirius took a moment to observe Lily. She didn’t seem tired despite how late into the night it was. She ran her hands along the wooden weave of the chair she sat on. Finally, he sat down beside her.
“Listen, I wanted to apologise. I’m sorry for pranking you and helping Ja-Potter harass you. It was just—"
“Sirius,” Lily interrupted. “It’s fine. You didn’t actually do much to me, just creeped me out, but the apology is appreciated.” He sagged with relief. “I shouldn’t have done it but he was my best friend, and we were idiots. I didn’t want him to be mad at me. Although now that's a bit of a lost cause.”
“What happened? If you want to talk about it.” She asked.
“We fought. I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fair enough. I’m in no better position.” She scoffed. “Snape is an arse.”
He grinned, slightly bitter. “I’m glad you’ve seen that at least. But Merlin only knows if we’ll even go back to Hogwarts. I’m not sure if we can with our… classifications.”
She sat bolt upright. “I didn’t even think of that. What-”
A familiar voice interrupted them. “That is a discussion for the daytime.”
Marvolo was frustrated. They had brought Sirius home from St Mungo's along with two high-strength doses of Little’s De-Ageing Potion. He was hopeful, but lunch hadn’t gone nearly as well as he’d hoped. Neither of the littles seemed to connect and pretty much ran away after finishing their food. He’d hoped they could try again at dinner, but when he knocked on Sirius's door, there was no answer. He’d opened it to see him passed out on the bed. After checking to make sure he was just asleep, not unconscious, he pulled the curtains and tucked him in. Something about tucking the blanket around the pup’s shoulder felt so… right.
Now Marvolo was lying awake on the bed on the ground floor. Normally their bedroom was on the first floor, but since both children were on the ground floor, they would also sleep there till they were ready to move into the nurseries being set up. He knew that Sirius would wake up at some point, so he wasn’t surprised when he was alerted by the wards that one of the doors leading outside had been opened. What he didn’t expect, though, was to see both the pups talking outside. He didn’t interrupt them, just watched them, but when he saw Lily rub her arms, he conjured two blankets and stepped outside and caught the tail end of a conversation about Hogwarts.
“That is a discussion for the daytime.” He said firmly. They both turned to look at him, clearly afraid. He forced himself not to react to the fear. Instead, he wrapped them both in blankets, first Lily and then Sirius. Both of them were tense but relaxed once he was done. He sat down on one of the chairs opposite.
“I know both of you must have many questions. We can absolutely discuss every one of them. If it would make you happy, I can get Theodore, and we can talk now. However, it seems to me it would be more productive if we agreed on a time tomorrow and all four of us sat down to talk prepared.”
They both nodded, but he could see the wariness. “I promise you, your safety, comfort and happiness are our priorities. We do not want to hurt you, I swear. We just want to keep you safe, and if you’ll allow us to, we will care for you. Hopefully in time you will come to care for us, but for now just know we are not here to harm you.”
“Now, it is late, but I don’t believe either of you is tired, hmm?” They exchanged slightly guilty looks.
“No. ” “Not really.”
“That’s alright.” Getting them used to routine would be preferable, but he could make an exception. “We haven’t shown you around the house yet, have we? Would you like a tour?”
“Now?” Sirius asked.
His husband's sleep-deepened voice replied from behind them all. “I can’t think of a better time. We can all sleep in a little later tomorrow.”
They showed Sirius around the ground floor, with the library, kitchen and their new bedroom, the study and the living and dining room. When Marvolo finally slipped under his own covers, after ensuring both pups were in bed, he was more content than he could remember being for a long time.
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
Chapter Text
Late the next morning Lily woke up to someone knocking on the door. Theodore poked his head in. “Good morning, sunshine.” The name made her feel warm inside; how long had it been since anyone had woken her up kindly? “It’s almost lunchtime.”
“Oh, sorry.” He just smiled. “No need to be sorry, we were up late. I just didn’t want you to miss a meal.” Oh. The only person that noticed if she skipped meals at Hogwarts was James Potter, and usually she skipped them to avoid him. At home no one cared much. Her mother would actually approve, stating she would have to maintain her figure for a good husband.
“I’ll be right out.”
Lunch was… nice. Almost fun. She and Sirius got into a small back and forth. She saw Theodore reach over and squeeze Marvolo’s hand. She frowned, wishing he would do the same for her. Clenching her fists in annoyance at her own reaction, she focused on her food.
“After lunch why don’t we all sit down? You can ask any questions you have and bring up any worries or things you might think will be an issue. We don’t have too many rules, but we’ll explain the rules we do have, and then we can plan out what to do in the next few days.”
Lily tried to get her thoughts in order so that she could ask everything she wanted to. Time slowed down, and by the time lunch was over, she wanted to launch into questions right away. Her only consolation was that Sirius seemed much the same, drumming his fingers on the table. Finally, Theodore cleared the table with a wave of his wand. Meanwhile Marvolo summoned some parchment and ink.
“Feel free to make any notes or write down questions for later or just draw if you want to.” Theodore said, giving each of them one sheet. “Do you want to go first, or should we start?”
Lily asked her first question, “How does the whole classification thing work? Will stuff just happen all of a sudden after we turn sixteen or before that or…?”
“You know the seven basic classifications. Now inside that there are three levels of headspace. As you both know, you are what's known as deep or complex headspace littles. Therefore, you will probably show most traits of headspace even outside a full drop. This means you will experience several, if not most, characteristics of your classification before you experience headspace. Potentially well before you turn sixteen.”
Her birthday was at the end of October, and it was already August. She wrapped her arms around herself, squeezing as tightly as possible.
Theodore took over, “Some characteristics could include things like craving physical affection much more or finding happiness in stereotypically children's items. You may find brighter colours and simpler games more appealing. You will also probably see changes in your gross and fine motor skills, especially as little as young as you. Keep in mind this is what your body needs, and not giving it what it needs is dangerous.”
“Dangerous how?” Sirius asked.
“For a short while? You’ll simply feel more and more unhappy and upset and unfulfilled. There will be a part of you that will never be full. Nausea, headaches, weakness or exhaustion could present as physical side effects. In the long run you could cause irreparable physical damage to your body and even go insane.”
Oh. They hadn’t been told that in the half-hour-long session they had for Muggle-borns about all the different classifications.
She asked the question they’d talked about yesterday. “Are we going back to Hogwarts?”
Marvolo and Theodore exchanged a look. “It is technically up to you if you want to or not. However, it is unlikely. You both will be only a couple of months away from turning sixteen. You need to be in a place where someone can care for you and you only when you show your first symptoms. We can arrange a meeting with any friends you might have anytime you like, though.”
Was she a coward for not being upset? Lily really didn’t want to go back and see Potter or Snape. With both sides playing tug of war, it would have been hell on earth.
Sirius took the opportunity to ask his own question, looking surprisingly unbothered about the last piece of information. “Aren’t most littles actually physically tiny? How does that happen?”
“There’s a highly controlled permanent de-ageing potion. You can take it whenever you want before you turn sixteen. When you take it is something Marvolo and I will leave to you. It will shrink you to the height you were at seven.”
“Why not younger? I mean, our headspace is a lot younger.” Sirius pushed. Lily saw the way he was fidgeting with the tablecloth.
“De-ageing younger than that can cause issues with the magical core; we’re really not sure why.”
Sirius fell silent. Lily started talking again, feeling slightly scared about what would happen if they asked too many questions.
“So are we staying with you forever?” Lily asked her most important question. Sirius dropped the tablecloth and started playing with the buttoned pockets on his pants.
“That is the plan. There is a three-month trial period of sorts in case the two of you are unhappy here, but if you like it here, then yes.” Theodore looked hopeful, but she wasn’t sure for exactly what reason.
Sirius interjected. “What if you guys get tired of us?” Lily froze.
Marvolo firmly said, “That will never happen, I swear to you. Even though it has not been long, the two of us already adore you. We will never get tired of you or not want you. You might not believe us, but we will prove it.”
Lily didn’t know what else to say.
“Should we give you our rules now, or do you have any more questions? You can ask more questions whenever you think of them.”
“No questions.”
“Alright,” Theodore smiled, holding both their hands for a second. She missed the contact as soon as it was gone.
“First rule: if you are hurt, you come to one of us. The same goes for feeling sick. Don’t try to deal with it because you don’t want to upset us and end up getting more hurt. In the same vein is something breaks tell us. Don’t try to clean it up yourself and get hurt.
The second rule is that if you want to go out of the house, one of us has to be with you. Please don’t just leave to see a friend or visit Diagon Alley by yourselves. When we do go out, you have to stay where we can see you.”
“But why?” Sirius asked, sounding incredulous. “I’ve been to Diagon Alley on my own so many times.”
“Because it could be dangerous, especially later when you are in headspace. Would you let a two-year-old wander unsupervised?” Marvolo asked seriously but not unkindly.
No, she wouldn’t, Lily admitted. But they weren’t in headspace yet.
“But why can’t we go alone now?”
“Because we want to get you used to the rules before you drop. A sudden change in routine or behaviour just after you enter headspace will only confuse and scare you, and we don’t want that. It will be easier if you are used to your schedule and surroundings. We want you as comfortable as possible, alright?” He responded.
“Lastly, there are some changes being made to the layout of the first floor right now, so it is off limits. Once those are done, we’ll show you everything, but for now don’t try to climb the stairs. There is a ward placed there that will let us know if you do.”
“For now that is it. Remember we are here to take care of you, so if something is bothering you, we are here to help, always, even if it’s the middle of the night.” Marvolo ended.
“Any last questions?”
No questions, but she was unsure of the new rules. How would she cope with going from being basically ignored at home to… this?
“Finally, we wanted to know if the two of you would like to go shopping tomorrow? We can eat lunch, shop a bit, and maybe buy some stuff for your rooms or some clothes.
Her last visit to Diagon was overwhelming, to say the least. But maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if there were other people. She glanced at Sirius, who also looked unsure. Finally he said, “Yeah, okay.”
“Wonderful. We’ll have lots of fun, I promise.”
Yeah. Fun.
Surprisingly, neither of the littles had seemed upset when he explained going back to Hogwarts was unlikely. That information was filed away in his brain as something to investigate later. They did react predictably to the other rules, but it was important to have at least some routine in place. Marvolo knew that if they suddenly flipped everything on its head when they dropped for the first time, it would lead to disaster.
The first floor wasn’t being renovated so much as about to be refitted with furniture for the littles, but both Marvlo and his husband had a feeling showing them the nurseries right now would only lead to a meltdown. Let them get used to everything else first.
The shopping trip was not without its own logic. While it’s true that he wanted the pups to pick some things to personalise their rooms beyond the current guest-bedroom-beige aesthetic, it was also to give the caregivers an idea of what sort of colours and materials they may like. Then they could further work on the plans for the nurseries.
Marvolo sat down at one of the desks in the study and started answering the pile of letters that had arrived that day. Much later, when the door opened softly, he looked up. His omega slipped inside with a soft grin adorning his features.
“Come see!”
Curious as to what had his husband so happy, he stood up. Stretching while he walked, he followed. They made their way to the living room.
A contented rumble sounded in his chest as he took in the scene. On one sofa Sirius was asleep with his hands tucked beneath his chest and head out to the side. On the other, Lily was sleeping on her side, hands flopping out. He leaned against the doorframe and watched as Theodore summoned two blankets and carefully tucked in the pups, gently patting both on the head. The scene warmed him in a way, before this, only his husband had ever managed to do.
He switched off the lights, and they made their way back to the study, arm in arm.
“This time, I’ll wake them up before four. Then hopefully they should actually sleep through the night.” Theodore said, curling up in one of the armchairs in the corner.
“Yes, but we can now check changes in sleeping patterns off the list of little traits. They have started showing them sooner than I expected.” Marvolo said.
“Well, they have very young headspaces, so it’s much more evident. It’s also already mid-August. Their birthdays fall fairly early in the academic calendar. Our biggest concern now should be at what point do we adapt the rules to their headspaces rather than current ages? And when do we move them to a nursery?” Theodore mused.
“When we feel they need it. I believe we should wait and move them only after they are de-aged, but we can start with subtly encouraging the naps they are already taking.” Marvolo responded.
Theodore chuckled, “I’ll dust off those old nature documentaries. Tilly will know where they are. We can let them play in the back garden too. It’ll tire them, and they’ll get some time outside.”
How he loved his omega. Theodore understood him on a soul-deep level. And now things were looking brighter than they had in a while for their growing family.
Chapter 7: Chapter 7
Chapter Text
Sirius exchanged glances with Lily as they prepared to floo out of the house for the first time. It surprised him how easily they slotted into each other's lives. Yesterday they had just hung out in the living room and eventually fell asleep. He couldn’t imagine doing that with Reg. Hell, he couldn’t have imagined just sitting in the living room at Grimmauld, without being forced there to entertain guests or whatever. But it seemed things were different here.
He stepped into the fireplace and sprinkled the powder on himself. Doing his best not to cough, he said, “Diagon Alley.” Marvolo gently caught him as he stumbled out of the fireplace into the Leaky Cauldron. “Well done, Sirius.”
The gentle hand gripping his shoulder burnt through the thin material of his sleeve, but the moment it was gone, he felt cold. Resisting the urge to shudder, he moved to the side. Lily stepped out next. She didn’t stumble, but Marvolo still helped her out. A pit formed in his stomach, but he ignored the feeling. Theodore was last, stepping out with an easy grace, and the group collectively moved away to let other people through. Thankfully it was a weekday and not too crowded.
They strolled down the street, but he wasn’t sure exactly where they were going. As they walked, he looked around watching all the people around him. He noticed an older woman carrying a little. Clearly asleep, the little had wrapped her arms around the caregiver’s neck and legs around her waist. The pit in his stomach grew, becoming an almost physical ache.
It was nothing new. He’d see parents enthusiastically wave off and collect their children at Platform 9 ¾ and would bite his lip to stop the scream that tried to crawl up his throat. It got better when Euphemia and Fleamont, James’ parents, would be there, but now…
Well now dwelling on that would be pointless since he wasn’t going back. He would not have to go through any more long days feeling Remus glare at him, Peter ignore him and James fight with him. The place that he had once treasured as his home was now… hollow.
Sirius was distracted from his thoughts as they entered The Copper Cauldron. He’d never actually been inside the home goods store. It was much larger than he had expected but with low ceilings and sharp white lighting.
He felt a hand on his shoulder, the warm weight grounding him. “Stay next to us, alright? It would be very easy to get lost here.” Theodore said softly. For all that Sirius never liked listening to teachers in school, he couldn’t help but want to stay close, as the two caregivers had asked him to do. Besides, the thought of getting lost in the sprawling maze of shelves was scarier than he would like to let on.
Sirius ended up selecting a dark red quilt with tiny Quidditch players that moved across the blanket on their brooms. There was a constellation-themed one that was quite possibly the softest blanket he’d ever felt, but he had had enough of star-themed stuff for a lifetime. He gave that one to Lily instead, and the proud look that he received from both Theodore and Marvolo dispelled some of the cold in his chest.
“I’m glad you’re looking out for Lily, Sirius. But make sure to keep an eye out for anything you like as well.” Theodore smiled softly.
Hesitantly he picked up the pillow covers to match his own blanket and put them in the cart. That earned him a pat on the head and praise that made him want to curl up and cry. For something as simple as picking out pillow covers. It’d only been two days, but he was almost glad for everything that had happened, if it meant things could stay this way. But maybe they wouldn't.
Instead of sitting in his thoughts, he watched Marvolo and Theodore pick up some other colourful bedsheets. He paused when he saw a white blanket with black cats all over it that were licking their tails and grooming their paws. Rubbing his hands on it, it was even softer than the starry blanket.
“Do you like that one?” Marvolo asked, and after Sirius nodded, he gently took the blanket from his hands and put it in the cart. He received another coveted head-pat. Looking ahead, he saw Theodore and Lily leave the aisle.
In the end they left the shop with a mountain of bedsheets and blankets, one cat-shaped nightlight that Sirius protested he didn’t need (but he did like), one set of blue and pink fairy lights that made Lily smile (therefore were non-negotiable; he made sure they were the very first thing that they gave the nice lady at the counter), some towels and stuff that he didn’t really pay attention to and a bunch of colourful plates, cutlery and glasses. They were made of plastic and almost definitely for him and Lily, and he wanted to cringe.
Overall though, it could've been much worse.
Shopping was not a favoured pastime for either Theodore or his husband. Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t hate it. But he was never one of those people that could spend an inordinate amount of time simply shopping. At least not for himself.
However, there was one particular exception to this, at the intersection of his omega and caregiver instincts. Shopping for his pups. Ergo, the planning of their pups' first trip with them was left to him.
They completed their tour of The Copper Cauldron. Discreetly, while Marvolo had kept the two pups occupied, he’d made a separate set of purchases, all sent back to the Manor by Tilly. These included fitted sheets for the cribs that had already been set up, waterproof sheets for both the cribs and the changing tables and other supplies that would soon be needed.
A stop at Twifitt and Tattings later, the pups had new nightwear and day clothes. Right next to it was Quidditch Supplies. Noticing the longing look Sirius was giving it, they entered for a quick look around. They left with one miniature model (Sirius), one Montrose Magpies oversized sweater (Lily), and several quills styled to look like wings of a golden snitch (Marvolo but would no doubt be appropriated by Theodore for his own use).
Now he watched Sirius and Lily debate over Quidditch teams as they waited for their food. Theodore had chosen one of his favourite places to eat, The Rose-Garden cafe. Unlike usual, they’d decided to sit inside; the lower levels of noise and dimmed lights would help the pups relax. They were overstimulated and hungry, although neither of them complained. He looked forward to the day they would be comfortable enough to express what they needed, even if in the form of whining or crying. At least they wouldn’t be afraid.
Once the food arrived, almost everyone began eating. However, he noticed Lily struggling with her spaghetti. Nervousness and excitement in equal measure built up in him as he gently took the fork from her hand. Hopefully it wasn’t too early for the step he was about to take.
He swirled a small amount of the noodles on a fork and then carefully deposited them onto a spoon. Lily was fidgeting with the tablecloth.
“Sorry.” She said, looking at him anxiously.
“Whatever for?”
He held the spoon up, a little away from her mouth, in case she wanted to take the spoon from him instead.
“You don’t have to… I can…” She stuttered.
“I know,” he soothed, "but I want to.” She didn’t look completely at ease but slowly opened her mouth. “Very good,” he praised.
In between bites, he ate his own food, feeling almost euphoric every time Lily ate as he fed her. He did notice Sirius picking at his own food, looking forlorn, but Marvolo was quick to tackle that, cutting the chicken he ordered into bite-sized pieces and beginning to feed him. Sirius, happy although he clearly was trying to hide it, ate from the spoon.
A calm contentedness replaced the high, and he was almost disappointed to hear, "Um... I’m full, please.”
“Good job, pup. Was it good?” She nodded, looking a little shy but not unhappy. He quickly finished his own food, and then they paid and left. They walked back out onto the loud, sunny street, and both pups flinched and pressed into him. They would get sleepy soon, so they need to be quick.
Marvolo followed behind his family as they made their way to their last stop. The moment the pups realised where they were heading, they froze in their tracks. A large, colourful sign read 'Leavenworth's Shop for Littles.
Two nervous faces looked up at him. Lily bit her lip, and he gently pulled it out from between her teeth to stop her from hurting herself. “Why don’t we just take a look around? We don’t have to get anything; just look.”
“I—We have to?” Sirius asked.
"No, we don’t have to, but how about this: I’m going to set a timer for ten minutes"—Theodore waved his wand—"and we only stay inside till the timer goes off. Ten minutes and we leave. Can you both be brave for ten minutes?”
That got two reluctant nods. Once more unto the breach. He put one hand on Lily’s shoulder, the other on Sirius', and guided them into the large store. Immediately, they were overwhelmed by the sheer amount of colour and visual stimuli. Lily nearly tripped, and Theodore had to steady her.
“Hmm, why don’t we go somewhere a little quieter?" They quickly moved away from the colourful displays right at the front of the shop and to the back corners, full of things like strollers and carriers, a little too large for normal children but suited to littles of younger headspace. His two pups had their eyes practically glued to the ground.
Slowly they navigated the aisles till they got to the toy section. “Well, let's take a look.” They searched the shelves at snail's pace, more focused on getting the pups comfortable than on actually buying anything. Which is why he was mildly surprised when Sirius actually picked up a stuffed toy in the shape of a black cat with a white tail. It seemed the cats were becoming a theme.
“That’s a very pretty cat.” Theodore said softly. “Would you like to take it home?” He turned it over in his hands, clearly conflicted. “It’s okay to want it and anything else you might see here.”
“...okay.” Sirius kept the cat, clutching it in his arms as they continued walking. The pups were more engaged now, stopping to look and even touch things. Out of the corner of his eye, Marvolo saw Theodore nullify the timer spell and cast a new one.
‘Fifteen minutes,' he mouthed. Marvolo nodded and turned back to the pups, who were both standing around something. Satisfied that their attention was held, he backed away to find the nearest assistant and pulled out a list from his hand.
He and Theodore had looked through catalogues earlier and shortlisted items they needed, but he wanted to see them before they actually purchased them. Highchairs, strollers, playpens, rocking chairs and other such items. The list was comprehensive, listing items, model type and specifications, so with the help of an assistant, it was not hard to find everything and make sure it was up to standard. He made the quick purchase, tossing in some miscellaneous items like pacifiers and nappies for both before and after they were de-aged. All sent back to the manor with Tilly once again.
In the record time of only twelve minutes, he was back with his pups, who had now acquired an octopus stuffed toy resting in Lily’s hands. Three minutes and two adorable yawns later, they were back at home.
All bags were unceremoniously dumped in the foyer, to be put away later. Marvolo sat on one of the sofas.
“Let's watch something to relax.” He patted the cushion by his side, and Lily curled up next to him, still clutching the octopus. Theodore and Sirius arranged themselves similarly on the other sofa, and he switched on one of the supposedly soothing wildlife documentaries. The lights were dimmed, and it wasn’t long before both littles were fast asleep, worn out from their day.
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Notes:
have a double update as a pre-emptive apology cause i won't post any new chapters for a couple of weeks.
Chapter Text
His reprieve from nightmares lasted for nearly two weeks. Two weeks of bliss and sleep. Sirius jerked awake, covered in sweat and trembling. He knew from experience that he would not be able to fall back asleep. Nightmares didn’t happen every night or even every other night, but when they did, they left him unable to even close his eyes out of fear that they would return. Instead, he curled up, waiting for the shivering to subside. Maybe it was because of the darkness, but the room seemed bigger than it ever had. The ceiling looked so far away, and he felt so small on the large bed.
Before Snape dosed him with Veritaserum, he would’ve woken James or Remus, and they would’ve talked till the sun came up. Now he just stared at the little figures on his quilt throwing quaffles or chasing golden snitches.
Slowly he reached under his pillow where the black cat stuffie was squished and tucked it into the crook of his arm. Then with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders, he padded out of his room. He’d figured out how to open the door so that it wouldn’t creak, and he stepped out into the hallway silently, not even sure where he was going to go. But when he stepped out, the light coming from Lily’s door surprised him. He pushed her door open, and she was on her bed, reading something.
“Hey,” he said. She jumped, and her head whipped around to look at him.
“Oh! "Hey."
He hovered awkwardly in the doorway but entered when she waved him in. He sat on her bed wrapping the blanket even tighter around himself. The fairy lights they’d bought last week were strung up above the bed, dancing in hypnotic patterns. They were both silent for so long that if she hadn’t flipped a page every so often, he would’ve thought Lily had fallen asleep.
So when she finally began to talk, he nearly jumped out of his skin. “Are you upset about all of this? Not being able to go back to Hogwarts, not being able to go anywhere by yourself.”
He wound and unwound the stuffie’s tail over his hand, considering his answer. “It’s… weird. It’s not what I expected. I'm not upset really, but—” He stuttered, trying to explain. "I... Marvolo and Theodore are nice. They’re the nicest adults I’ve ever known.” On her first visit, two days ago, he’d told the caseworker as much.
Lily didn’t look at him while she answered. “I get it, kind of. But I feel like I should be more… angry? Like this is my whole life flipped upside down. I should feel something more. But I don’t.”
Sirius decided to stop beating around the bush. “I mean, it has to be better than when you were with your parents. Or you wouldn’t be here at all.”
She froze.
For him the one thing that made all of this worth it, that would make anything worth it, was that Reg was with Andromeda. The caseworker had told him she was fighting to make sure they would stay with her, and after what happened to him, she would likely win. That was enough for him.
“...Yeah. It is.”
Finally she put her book down and looked at him.
“Are you okay? You look upset.” The question came out of nowhere, and it took a minute to process it.
“Oh ye-yeah. Just… had a nightmare.”
Lily’s eyes widened. “Oh.”
"I'll—umm—I'll leave.” He gathered up the blankets again.
“No!” She almost yelled. Her hand shot out from under her blanket and caught his.
“Stay. Please.”
“Okay,” He curled up on the bed as she shifted to make room for him and turned off the lights. He closed his eyes but wasn’t even close to falling asleep.
“Sirius?” Lily asked, sounding no sleepier than him. He responded with something between a sigh and a question.
“Were your parents… Did they hurt you too?” A chill settled into his bones. He dug his nails into his palm hard enough that he was sure to leave crescent-shaped marks.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
Sirius debated pretending to fall asleep but instead turned to face Lily. “It’s nicer here. I think I like it.”
She nodded, red hair splayed wildly across her face. “Me too.”
Theodore opened the door to Lily’s room and was met with quite possibly the most adorable sight known to mankind. Both Lily and Sirius were asleep on the bed, wrapped up in blankets. Clearly at some point in the night Sirius had wandered over to Lily’s room and fallen asleep there. Internally cooing, he gently woke them both up.
Both of them realised the position they were in at the same time, and Sirius just about fell out of bed.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Calm down. It's okay.” He smiled at them, hopefully enough to reassure them that they were not in trouble. “A little sleepover, hmm? I hope you two didn’t stay up too late.”
“Sirius had a nightmare." Lily blurted out. Sirius nearly tripped again, whirling to face her, horror clear on his face. His heart clenched, and he opened his arms gently. Sirius stared at him like he was from another planet but slowly moved across the bed. He wrapped his arms around the pup and felt the moment he relaxed, going from tense to almost boneless.
“That sounds scary. You’re so very brave. And Lily. Letting Sirius sleep in your room was very nice of you.” She blushed and looked down.
“I couldn’t sleep anyway. It was fine.”
“Next time, feel free to wake us up. Whether it’s a nightmare or you just can’t get to sleep. That’s what we’re here for.” He stretched out an arm again, and Lily curled into him as well.
“Now given that we had a very exciting night, would you like to go back to sleep or take an early nap?”
They agreed on taking an early nap, and Theodore left them both to get ready while he discussed the latest development with his alpha. He was distracted, though, when an hour later, Lily came outside with red, watery eyes. Her hair was damp and still had some soap suds, and she was rubbing at her eyes aggressively.
He gently held her hands in his, while Marvolo cast a mild healing spell to relieve the irritation. She huffed slightly, “Sorry, I just kept getting shampoo in my eyes.”
He exchanged looks with Marvolo over Lily’s head. Lack of coordination. First in the restaurant when she was overwhelmed, and now after a late night, she was definitely showing traits now. He rubbed her back.
“Ouch. That can’t have been fun.” She moved to sit down at the table, but he stopped her.
“Why don’t we go back upstairs and try again? I’ll help you out.”
She looked at him alarmed, but he made sure to keep a calm, reassuring smile on his face. “It won't hurt, I promise.”
Theodore let her walk ahead of him, keeping a watchful eye to make sure she didn’t trip. Once they reached the room, she hovered awkwardly until he patted the bed, and she sat down. He conjured a basin, filled it with warm water using Aguamenti and charmed it to hover at just the right height. Gently, he gathered her hair and soaked the strands in the water. Tilting her head back with one hand, he rinsed out the lingering traces of shampoo. Then, he summoned the bottle and squeezed some into his palm.
“Any particular reason you couldn’t sleep?” He asked, tone light.
She answered with a non-committal noise. “I usually wake up at night. It’s just how I sleep. More often during the holidays but sometimes at school.” But the way she fidgeted with the material of her pants let him know something was wrong.
“Oh? "Well, what do you usually do at night?" he asked, massaging the shampoo into her scalp.
“At Hogwarts I normally read a book.” She stopped, abruptly cutting off what she was going to say next.
“And at home?” He prodded, hoping she would open up. She shrugged, “Not much. Sometimes I’d go to the kitchen and have a snack.” Her fingers brushed back and forth over the same stitch.
“You have a penchant for midnight snacks, I see.” Theodore smiled, thinking about the day Sirius came home. She tensed. He’d clearly walked into sensitive territory.
“Next time, invite us as well.” He joked, and she relaxed a little. Then continued washing her hair, humming to himself, hopefully showing that he wasn’t upset or angry.
By the time he was done washing it off, she was on the verge of sleep.
“Woah, stay awake for a bit, at least until you eat breakfast.” She sighed but blinked rapidly to wake up. The basin and the water in it were easily vanished, and he gently worked a towel through her hair to dry it most of the way, leaving the rest to air dry.
“Is that better?”
“Yes, thank you.”
They both made their way out of the room and back to the dining room, where Sirius was sleepily poking at his own breakfast. Marvolo exchanged an amused look with him as Lily slumped into her own chair and immediately put her head down.
He sat down beside Sirius, gently extracting the spoon from the limp grip of the little. Piling some of the scrambled eggs on it, he spoke. “Open up.” Obligingly, and clearly more asleep than awake, Sirius opened his mouth.
Slowly, almost dozing off between bites, the pup ate. The pups were clearly in no condition to walk back to their rooms, so they were half-carried to the living room. Out like a light the moment they lay down, Theodore sat down next to them, in one of the armchairs, while his alpha tucked blankets around the pups.
Chapter 9: Chapter 9
Notes:
I set a little challenge for myself while writing this chapter. Can I effectively convey a character's emotions without using the POV of that character? Let me know how I did.
(btw this is now the longest thing I've ever written)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was the evening of the first of September. Sirius kicked a small, unusually smooth rock down the stone-paved pathway in the garden behind the house. In another world he would be on the Hogwarts Express, getting ready for his sixth year. He trudged down the pathway till he found the rock again, but before he could kick it again, Lily's sneaker shot out, and she sent it flying down the path.
Then another. And another. She stumbled over the fourth kick and stomped her foot in a way that was distinctly, well, childish. That’d been happening more often too. Stumbling over movements that were simple and practised. Like eating food. The tips of his ears burnt as he remembered the way they’d been literally hand-fed, twice. The worst part was that at the time, it seemed reasonable, right even. Something in his chest twisted when he’d seen Theodore feeding Lily, and even worse, it was soothed when Marvolo fed him.
He resisted the urge to copy Lily and stomp his foot with frustration. He didn’t know what he wanted. On one hand he was so glad that he didn’t have to spend another year hiding from the anger of people who once were his friends. On the other, all of his choices were now gone. But, then, Marvolo would hand out praise for something as simple as finishing his food, Theodore would stroke his head every afternoon as he fell asleep, Lily would play-fight under the table with him, and he… he liked those moments. More than he could ever remember liking anything.
“I hate this.” Lily muttered. “I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.” Well, ouch. He knew she didn’t mean it, though.
“Race you to the tree?” he said, pointing out a tree quite a way down the path. The only tactic he knew – distraction. It’d been used frequently over the last month.
She shrugged, “Alright. Three… Two… One!” They set off at full sprint. The rhythm of his legs beating against the hard pavement and his lungs straining to get enough air distracted him enough that when he reached the tree, a few seconds before Lily, he was laughing as he bent over double. She slid down the trunk of the tree, her head leaning back against the trunk, smiling a little.
“Beat you!” he said, exultant. She stuck out her tongue but didn’t look too mad.
They both sat for a while, and his breathing returned to normal.
“It’s so… weird. We should be on the Hogwarts Express right now. Instead we’re… here.” Lily muttered darkly. “I would’ve been talking to Marlene or Mary or playing exploding snap or just doing—something.” She ripped some grass from the ground in a motion that mimicked tearing out hair.
“I thought you liked it here?” Sirius tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. He thought they’d been having fun.
“I do. But—It—I—For fuck's sake! I don’t even know.” She scattered the blades of grass clutched in her fist.
Yeah, that was fair. It’d been a month, and he hadn’t yet fully decided if he liked this better than Hogwarts. He did like it better than Grimmauld, though. Any day. And if being here meant he never had to go back there, then he could live with not going back to Hogwarts either. Hogwarts didn’t have what had made it so special anymore. His friends. That they didn't believe him, would so easily blame him…
He shook his head to stop himself from thinking about them. It hurt too much, although less than it had when the wound was still fresh.
Lily got up, and he followed suit as they ambled down the pathway, this time back towards the house. Lily was still glaring at the ground like it had personally offended her.
“Race you back?” he suggested. It worked well enough for a bit.
She huffed a small laugh. "Yeah, okay. You count this time.” Victory!
So he did, and they took off down the path again, Sirius once again outstripping Lily. But then a cry of alarm sounded behind him, and he skidded to a halt, whirling around just soon enough to see Lily hit the stone.
He jogged a few steps to reach her. “Oh crap. Are you okay?” She picked herself up glaring at him with tears in her eyes. Her knees and elbows were bloody. “I’m fine.” She said angrily.
“Your hands and legs are hurt!” He protested.
“I. Said. I’m FINE!” and her hand shot out and shoved him.
Marvolo had been strolling down the pathway, content to let the pups have their fun, chasing each other. The moment he saw Lily trip and fall, he apparated down the pathway to where they were standing and arrived to see her, with blood dripping from her elbows and knees, push Sirius. He stumbled but didn't fall.
“Hey! What was that for?” Grey eyes were wide with indignation.
Marvolo interrupted firmly, “Stop. We don’t push people.” They both turned to face him, Lily already looking apologetic, with glistening eyes. “I—”
He softened slightly. “Let me heal you first.” With a wave of his wand, the skinned extremities repaired themselves. Contrary to expectation, the pup sniffled even more and scrubbed at her face to stop tears from falling. “I-I’m sor-sorry.”
“Let’s apologise to Sirius, yes?” She turned to the other pup and apologised even more shakily before turning and jogging away, up to the house. He winced as she stumbled again, but thankfully she remained upright.
“Is she okay?” Sirius asked. “I believe so. She is just upset, which is perfectly understandable. But being upset doesn’t mean she should get physical with you. Are you alright?” He nodded, still looking in the direction.
Marvolo ushered Sirius back to the house. Theodore was standing in the drawing room looking confused and worried. “What—” Marvolo held up a hand and gave him a pointed look. Not now.
Sirius was anxiously glancing at the hallway leading to Lily’s room. Marvolo rested a hand on his shoulder.
“I’ll go check on her.” He said.
He knocked twice. No response. The door handle squeaked as Marvolo turned it. There was a distinctly human-shaped lump on the bed, hidden by blankets. He gently sat down on the bed, and a tear-stained face turned towards him.
“Looks like someone is upset.” He stated it mildly but not unkindly. Lily buried her face in the pillow once again. “Lily, love, please look at me.” She complied. One quick transfiguration later, he was gently wiping her face with a conjured napkin. “You know that pushing Sirius wasn't right, don’t you?” A nod.
“Do you know why you did it?” A pause, and her head shook. No.
“You know what I think? I think there are a lot of very mixed-up feelings inside here,” he gently touched her head, “and they were stuck with nowhere to go. Slowly they built and built. Then you got hurt, and all those mixed-up feelings had to come out and go somewhere. Does that make a little bit of sense?”
Another nod. Then she twisted the blanket in her fist and spoke lowly.
“What—what if those mixed-up feelings are still there?” He smiled at her and began carding his fingers through her hair.
"Well, first we try to figure out what you’re feeling and why. Then we see if we can fix it. Sometimes we can and sometimes we can't, but either way we give those feelings somewhere to go.” With a helping hand from him, she sat up against the headboard.
“I’ll start, okay? I think you are feeling sad that you can’t go back to Hogwarts.” Lily frowned.
“But I—I like it here.” Warmth settled in Marvolo’s chest.
“I’m very happy to hear that, but it's possible for both of those to be true at the same time. You can like being here and still be sad that you can’t go back to Hogwarts. Do you miss your friends?”
"Not—not really. I don't—he was being mean—and we fought—and I was alone—” She dissolved into sobs again. Oh dear.
He shifted closer and pressed her against his side. Maybe because she had already cried, the tears dried up fairly quickly. "Well, I can’t fix mean friends, but I can promise you will never be lonely again.” They had shifted so her head was now resting on his chest. One arm came up to wrap around her shoulder.
“I-I’m angry, but I don’t know why.” She admitted softly.
“Do you have any guesses? What makes you angry when you think about it?”
“I just—When I think about what I could do if I wasn't classified as a little. I’m already being a baby, crying so much. I could have a career, I could travel, I could just—I don’t know. Do stuff.” He sighed softly.
“I know there are things you want to do that you can’t do anymore. That probably feels awful. But not everything is out of your reach. You can still travel with us. And there is nothing wrong with crying. It is your body’s way of giving your feelings somewhere to go. That’s good.”
She looked a little less upset.
“I’m scared. I don’t know what’s going to happen next.”
“Well, over the next two months you will start showing more traits of your classification. What traits and in what order we don’t know yet. Then on your sixteenth birthday you will go into headspace for the first time. Whatever happens, though, you can count on one thing. Theodore, Sirius and I will always be here for you and always love you.”
Even though he had not acknowledged it openly before, it was very much the truth.
She looked at him, eyes wide. “You… You love me?”
Marvolo smiled. “Yes, I love you. And I love Sirius.” With no warning Lily twisted and hugged him, hard. He wrapped his own arms around her. They stayed like that for a while, till the door opened again.
A hesitant Sirius followed by a worried Theodore entered. He smiled at them both but was startled by Lily just about leaping off him to hug Sirius.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be mean.” The pup grinned.
“It’s all good. Reggie tried to push me out of the window once; this was nothing.” Marvolo and Theodore exchanged concerned looks but were interrupted.
“Sirius, Marvolo said he loved us.” Grey eyes turned to look at him, stunned.
“It is true. I love you both, and I’m sure Theodore does as well.”
“I very much do.” His husband hugged both the littles tightly, looking at Marvolo with such pure happiness that he wished he could stop time at this moment. It was, overall, a very good ending to a day that was shaping up to be disastrous.
Of course he spoke far too soon. They had, like usual, shepherded both the littles to the dining room for a perfectly lovely dinner where Theodore told them stories of all of the time they had decided to travel around the world. They promised at some point to take the pups to see the pyramids.
After dinner they decided to play Exploding Snap, much to Marvolo’s dismay. The game had long since been a nemesis of his. There were perfectly good games like chess; why would anyone voluntarily play a game this… messy (no, the fact he was awful at the game had no bearing on this whatsoever).
Both the pups were put to sleep without much issue, and the caregivers settled contentedly on the sofa.
That was until a couple of hours later. He was about to suggest heading to bed, although they needed less sleep than other classifications, and even less now that they were not as headspace deprived, when noises came from the hallway in which the pups were sleeping. They quickly made their way to the room that was the source of the noise.
Opening the door, the sight that greeted them was a crying pup, desperately trying to muffle sobs, with a wet spot on the bed and matching wet pyjamas.
Notes:
... yes i'm leaving you on this cliffhanger. who do you think the poor wet pup is?
Minddyi on Chapter 4 Sun 10 Aug 2025 04:40AM UTC
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DefaultOctopus on Chapter 4 Thu 14 Aug 2025 03:15PM UTC
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Lizibeth on Chapter 5 Wed 13 Aug 2025 02:41PM UTC
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DefaultOctopus on Chapter 5 Thu 14 Aug 2025 03:15PM UTC
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DefaultOctopus on Chapter 5 Wed 20 Aug 2025 02:31PM UTC
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Lizibeth on Chapter 7 Mon 01 Sep 2025 06:46PM UTC
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DefaultOctopus on Chapter 7 Tue 02 Sep 2025 03:36PM UTC
Last Edited Tue 02 Sep 2025 03:37PM UTC
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Lizibeth on Chapter 7 Wed 03 Sep 2025 09:46AM UTC
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