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John can't stand waiting, especially when there's something else he could be doing. Especially when that something else was kicking douchebags like Stryker's asses. He lasts about 20 minutes in the jet before the tapping of his leg and flicking of his lighter isn't enough to satisfy the anxious energy that courses through him.
“That's it.” He announces, standing abruptly and reaching for the switch that extended the main ramp.
“Where do you think you're going?” Bobby challenges.
“Where do you think?” John sneers, “I'm sick of this kids table shit.”
He can help them, he knows he can. He's just as pissed off at those assholes for breaking into the school as they are. He wants to make them pay.
“You'll freeze before you even make it to the spillway.”
John shrugs on his jacket as Bobby and Rogue get to their feet.
“I don't think so.”
“John, they told us to stay here.” Rogue adds, on Bobby's side like always. He bites back the sick feeling in his stomach.
“You always do what you're told?”
John's ready to make a run for it. He knows neither of them will chase him, they're probably wondering why it took him so long to crack anyways. He spares them one more look before starting towards the exit.
“What do you think you're going to do, John?” Rogue's sharp voice makes him pause. “It's a dam! With water! One leak and you're done.”
He's too sick and tired of being thrown aside to let then logic of that sink in.
“I'll figure it out.” He says with a confidence that has to come from somewhere, even if he can't feel it.
“You'll be a liability.” She bites back. She's baiting him and he knows it. It's a risky play because at any moment he could decide to cut his losses and take off. But John's never backed down from a fight and he's not about to start.
“I'm not a kid.” He grinds out, trying to not let her know she's got him.
“You're not stupid either.”
John's ears burn red with embarrassment and frustration but before he can lash out, Bobby's voice breaks through.
“Just let him go Rogue, he made his choices.”
The contempt on his face burns like an inferno inside of John.
“No, Bobby! I'm not going to let him go, he's our friend!”
“Listen to your boyfriend, sweetheart.” It's mocking and sickly sweet but she doesn't cow.
“No, I won't. Because he doesn't get it.”
She's so fucking stubborn and John might actually be a little impressed if he wasn't so done with it all.
“I'm never going to be able to go home again, I think I get it just fine.” Bobby butts in, offended and haughty. Rogue whirls to look at him instead.
“You can though!” She cries, “The institute is your home! You don't get what it's like to be alone with no idea where to go and no one on your side.”
She turns back to John, “I've been on the street, I know exactly what kind of strings asking for help comes with, but you don't have to worry about that anymore!”
Her voice is raw and brittle with emotion. Across the jet John bristles like a cornered animal, eyes trapped and wild.
“Don't act like you've had it hard missus middle class princess. You're just a bitch who can't kiss her boyfriend and thinks that means shes entitled to everyone's fucking pity. Well you don't have mine.”
“John!” Bobby shouts, Rogue holds up a hand.
“At least I'm honest.” She retorts, “not pretending to be on some moral crusade when you're really just going to run to Magneto.”
Silence falls as they stare at one another, neither backing down.
It's not like that's his end goal, but he's not about to lie and say he hasn't thought about it. Magneto had looked at him like no one else has, like he was powerful and worth something. Maybe he's just naive, but he wants it again anyways.
“At least Magneto stands for something.” He defends. Bobby looks between the two of them in shock. “Xavier and his goons just sit around preaching peace until the school gets fucking raided by the government.”
“He kills people, John! Innocent people! You think you could do that?”
John doesn't seem to have anything to say to that, glowering at her. The air between them simmers like a pot about to boil over.
“-because I don't.”
He sneers, “How would you know?”
“Because I've done it, and you don't have the stomach”
Bobby makes a punched out noise behind her but she doesn't bother to look, neither does John. She can see the shock in his eyes no matter how well he tries to hide it.
She doesn't have it either, but she doesn't have a choice. He does. And by God is she not going to let him make the wrong one.
His mouth burns with the need to yell, but his mind reels trying to find an appropriate response. One that will cut and bleed and make her give up already. Just like the Professor and Storm and Scott and Bobby and his parents and everyone else he's ever known.
"-and because you're a good person.” She adds emphatically. "You act like some untouchable bad boy but you're just as lost as the rest of us."
John hates her in this moment. Her and her need to shove herself into absolutely anything and say things that no one has any God damned right to know.
“Stop putting words in my mouth, I didn't give you permission to get in my head”
He still remembers the draining feeling on the Drake's porch. Like his very essence was being sucked out and eaten up by some ravenous monster.
“I didn't have to touch you to know you're scared John”
“I'm not scared, I'm angry!” He shouts, because that's all he has. The only constant in his life is the anger burrowed deep inside him.
“It's the same thing! Don't you get it?” They're both yelling now, Rogue gesticulating wildly as she's trying to drive it all into his head.
“She's right John.”
They whip around at Bobby's soft voice, forgetting he was even there.
“I've seen your writing.”
John flinches back like he's been shot, facade crumbling for only a moment, and Rogue finally sees his eyes are shining with unshed tears.
“You had no right-” He says darkly.
“Siryn showed me what you wrote for her when she was having those nightmares”
It takes a second for Rogue to remember what he's referencing, from weeks ago now. They used to wake in the middle of the night to her piercing shriek, sounding almost as terrified as the night Stryker broke down their doors.
She knew the professor had tried everything he could and the rest of the teachers had done the same, but nothing ever helped. She'd heard whispers about having her sleep in another wing of the manor until it all got sorted. She never figured out how true that was because almost immediately the late night screeching came to a sudden halt.
Rogue and probably everyone else had shamefully assumed it was a grab for attention, given up on once real consequences emerged. Siryn was young and alone, and God knows Rogue sometimes wants to scream at people to just pay attention to her.
Bobby continues despite the sheer venom on John's face as he glares at him, holding up his hands as if facing down a rabid animal.
:She couldn't sleep because she was afraid to be alone so you wrote her a story where she was together with all of her friends.”
The cold Canadian wind blows through the open hatch and John blames that for the way he trembles.
“She told me you said you knew it was scary to wake up alone, so you wanted her to have something to remind her she wasn't.” Bobby says, “Even when everyone else was sleeping.”
Rogue watches the boys carefully. With every word John seemed to deflate more.
“Wow,” John says, looking smaller then he's ever been, “People really will just tell you fucking anything.”
Bobby laughs, "It's what happens when you're nice, you should do it more often-” Rogue doesn't think she's ever heard Bobby sound so gentle. Something soft and loaded draws across his lips as he finishes. “You're good at it.”
John just looks at them, all the fight bleeding out of him like a popped balloon.
Rogue suddenly feels like she's intruding on a private moment. The way the two boys look at each other, something intimate and unspoken floating between them.
John doesn't say anything, but he does eventually shift, looking down to the floor as if it could hide the way a tear slips down his face. And in that moment they all know it's over.
“You know how to drive right?” She asks, confident in the knowledge that John won't leave just yet. Not with how he dropped his shoulders in silent acceptance.
He looks up at her, bewildered, discreetly wiping at his cheek.
“Yeah?”
“Good.” She nods, “you think you could move this thing closer to the dam?”
Both boys look at her for a second before understanding dawns.
“That's a good idea.” Bobby agrees, “It'll make for a faster get away when everything goes to shit.”
John snorts. “So much for being nice.” He says, but its almost fond.
Rogue watches carefully as he makes his way to the cockpit, leaning slightly to catch his shoulder with her own as he passes. He glances at her only briefly but there's something raw and fragile in his eyes and he leans into the touch for only a moment.
“So,” he says after climbing into the pilot's seat. “How long do you think it'll take me to get this thing in the air?”
It's clearly a challenge, which they meet head on.
“Forever, I bet.” Bobby retorts with a shaky smile. Inside him relief wars with caution. He'd be a liar to say he's not still wary of the other boy after seeing what he’s capable of. But watching John crack his knuckles and grin it dawns on Bobby that he wouldn't know what to do with himself if John ever left.
“You're on, Drake.” John crows.
“I call shotgun!” Rogue cries, pushing past Bobby with a smile.
He doesn't fight her, finding his place in the second row and strapping in for an undoubtedly rough ride.
The jet engines roar to life around them, throwing up snow into the windshield. The sky beyond the trees is soft and blue, and as they rise into the air the dam begins to crack.