Chapter 1: Money
Summary:
During a fight with dangerous opponents, the clash takes an unexpected turn, forcing Kakuzu to act on impulse.
Chapter Text
Money.
That’s what I had built my life around. It was the only thing that mattered to me. You could always rely on money. It didn’t cheat or betray you; its value is always plainly visible. Money couldn’t lie.
People, on the other hand, could. They weren’t worth trusting. A long time ago, back when I didn’t know any better, I had trusted someone once. And all it brought me was betrayal, disappointment, and pain.
But I wouldn’t make that mistake again.
Our opponents didn’t make a particularly strong impression. Still, I knew they had to have some kind of ace up their sleeve. Or they were just stupid for attacking us.
"Leave that one to me!" Hidan said, eyes sparkling with battle lust as he pointed to the burly guy who had revealed himself as the leader of the foreign shinobi. I nodded, feeling a brief flicker of pity for the man, whose life would end in the agonizing ritual of a fanatic.
"Be careful, don’t underestimate him," I warned Hidan, but the silver-haired man just laughed smugly. Internally, I once again swore to myself that one day I’d kill him for his arrogance.
While Hidan dealt with the leader, I took care of the other three. It quickly became clear that while my opponents weren’t weak, they wouldn’t pose much trouble for me. I didn’t even need to summon the masks from my back.
I slit the first one’s throat, caught the second with my threads. I wrapped them around his body and crushed him like a fly. You could even hear his bones breaking.
After the second one died, the last retreated for the time being. I was generous—gave him time to come up with a plan on how to approach me—and used the pause to check whether Hidan was handling the big guy.
The two were locked in a rapid exchange of close combat blows. Hidan must have lost his scythe at some point during the fight, because he was trying to get to his opponent’s blood without it. But the man was fast, landing many hits, taking only a few, and constantly dodging the kunai Hidan was using in place of his weapon.
They leapt apart to catch their breath, and while Hidan searched the area angrily for his scythe, the stranger suddenly formed hand signs. I’d never seen this jutsu before. His right fist began to glow, lightning swirling around his knuckles.
Chidori came to mind, but on closer look, it seemed different somehow.
Hidan barely managed to dodge the strike with a quick jump to the side. Instead, the guy’s fist smashed into a massive boulder on the cliff face behind us. A loud bang erupted, a shockwave rolled across it, even reaching me, as a large portion of the rock shattered into a thousand pieces. The cliff trembled, and with a deafening crash, chunks of stone rained down from above. What remained of the boulder was little more than particles—so small they fell like a fine mist from the sky.
What destructive power.
"Hidan, watch out!" I tried to warn him as he landed safely on the ground. But Hidan just clicked his tongue, annoyed by my interference. He clearly didn’t grasp how serious the situation was. If that jutsu hit him, there’d be nothing left of him but dust. Even if he believed in his immortality—I couldn’t stitch dust back together.
The guy formed hand signs again, and moments later we were enveloped in a mist, which he now used as cover. I saw him preparing for another attack from behind. Hidan didn’t seem to notice the shift in position—he was still standing unprotected in the same spot, trying to locate his enemy in the wrong direction.
I watched, transfixed, as the foreign shinobi rushed toward Hidan at incredible speed, completely unnoticed. I wanted to warn him again, but there was no time left. My mind went blank, and the only thought I had was that there wouldn’t be much left of Hidan if he didn’t get out of there immediately.
My legs moved on their own. I dashed forward, closed the distance to him as fast as I could, threw myself against him, and managed—just in time—to push him out of harm’s way.
Then the jutsu hit me instead of Hidan.
Chapter 2: Partner
Summary:
After a fight, Kakuzu is left vulnerable, and Hidan ignores all warnings to get dangerously close.
Chapter Text
Partner.
I hated every one of my partners. But out of all of them, I hated Hidan the most. The fact that I couldn’t kill him and was forced to deal with him was the main reason. I was a loner and didn’t need anyone getting in my way. But unlike the previous ones, I couldn’t dissolve this partnership through some unfortunate accident. So I endured it, reluctantly. Day by day, it became a little easier, until eventually I accepted it. I got used to Hidan. And even though I still often threatened to kill him someday, I found myself thinking about actually doing it less and less.
I couldn’t pinpoint exactly when that serious threat had turned into an empty promise.
When I came to, I was surprised I was still alive.
But in the next moment, I wished I weren’t. Violent muscle cramps shot through my body, I felt unbearably sick, and everything burned like fire. It felt as though I were being pierced by a thousand needles.
I was lying on my back and could only just manage to turn onto my side. I felt miserable. Though everything hurt, I couldn’t really feel my body—it was practically numb. This must be what it felt like to be struck by lightning. My chest hurt like hell, I was dazed, and the pain seemed to grow stronger with each passing second. I gasped for air, tried to breathe normally, to calm myself and not fall into panic.
Eventually it would get better.
When the jutsu had hit me, I must’ve instinctively hardened my body. That was the only explanation I had for how I was still alive. But maybe I was celebrating too soon. It felt more like death was just catching up to me now.
My fingers dug into the ground, and since I couldn’t manage to stand up, I dragged myself forward with great effort. I crawled blindly straight ahead, not knowing where I was or where I wanted to go. There were trees around me, so I was no longer at the battleground. I must have been thrown all the way into the little forest to the left of the cliff by the force of the blow.
That was good.
I couldn’t keep fighting. I needed a break.
I suddenly heard footsteps approaching behind me, just as I’d made it to a tree and was now leaning against it with my shoulder. My clothing was torn in many places, my forehead protector and facial covering were gone. They must’ve ended up somewhere in the forest.
My feverish forehead touched the rough bark, and I squeezed my eyes shut as another wave of pain coursed through me.
The footsteps stopped right behind me.
"There you are. Took quite a hit, huh?"
Hidan. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want anyone near me in this weakened state.
I turned my back to him, not wanting him to see how bad I was. Only now did I realize that I could barely hold myself together. The stitches had loosened, my arms hung limply from slack threads, and I didn’t even want to know what my face looked like. The threads twitched erratically every now and then; I barely had control over them anymore. No wonder I could only crawl.
"Go away," I croaked, startled by the weakness of my own voice. My tongue felt like a soaked sponge in my mouth—a foreign object that made speaking difficult.
I was used to Hidan ignoring me, but right now I desperately hoped he’d listen for once.
"Why’d you interfere? I would’ve taken that guy down eventually!"
The casual tone in his voice made it painfully clear that he still had no idea how close he’d come to dying just minutes ago.
"Where are the enemies?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound firmer this time.
"The fat bastard ran out of steam and got away. His jutsu must’ve drained him; he couldn’t use it a third time. I found one of his subordinates in the bushes. He had the honor of being a sacrifice to Jashin-sama."
I had to suppress a gasp as another sharp pain tore through my chest. My vision blurred as I clumsily opened my coat with trembling fingers. After tearing off the top, a wave of threads spilled out of my half-open chest like a waterfall, unable to stay contained.
"Hey, what’s wrong with you? You look kinda rough…"
I could feel his gaze glued to my back. Then I heard him slowly approaching.
"Stay back!" I hissed, and Hidan stopped.
I needed to remove the destroyed hearts. Even if I didn’t want to do it while Hidan was around, I had no choice. I had to get rid of them as fast as possible. Carrying this dead tissue inside me for too long would slowly poison me.
I closed my eyes and focused on expelling the hearts that no longer beat. The first slipped from my chest, the second landed beside it with a wet thud.
"You remember what happened to that boulder…?" I tried to explain my condition to Hidan, even though I clearly had more pressing concerns.
He didn’t respond for a while.
"You mean if he’d hit me, I’d be like the boulder too…"
He didn’t finish the sentence, so he must’ve finally understood.
A third heart followed. At the fourth, I panicked for a moment, frantically probing with the few threads I still controlled in search of the last one. But my own was still beating. Rapid and irregular, but otherwise intact.
That jutsu had killed me four times. It had been decades since I’d lost more than three hearts.
"That cost you four hearts," Hidan said, and I realized with alarm that he had stepped up beside me. He stared at the dead hearts on the ground with fascination before turning to me with an unreadable expression. I turned even more away from him, trying to hide my disfigured form.
"I want to see it," he said quietly.
I didn’t know what he meant. But when he crouched down in front of me, I grew uneasy. I didn’t trust Hidan—he was unpredictable. He shouldn’t get near me. Especially not now, when I was so vulnerable that one move would be enough to finish me off.
But maybe that’s what he intended? Was he planning to kill me? To finally get back at me for all my cruelty by offering me up to his god?
"The one that’s left… it’s your own, isn’t it?"
Cold sweat broke out on my forehead as I began to understand what he was talking about. The worst imaginings of what he might do to me took shape in my mind. The stress hit my system hard—white spots danced before my eyes. I needed to get out of here. But how, when I could barely move?
I tried to think, to come up with something. But all I got for my effort was a headache, dizziness—like the world was spinning—and nausea.
I just wanted to be left alone.
"Stay away, fuck off!" I stayed where I was, trying to sound threatening, trying not to show weakness. But even in my dazed state, I knew I’d failed miserably.
Hidan ignored me completely. I couldn’t stop him as he grabbed my shoulder and turned me toward him. He studied my face carefully, then looked down at my still-open chest. When he reached out toward me, I tried with all my remaining strength to push him away. But I was too weak to do anything. Hidan easily brushed aside my resistance, and eventually I lacked the strength to keep fighting back. When he finally touched the threads gathered around the hole in my chest, I thought my last heart might stop.
"Urgh…"
My eyes widened, everything went dark for a moment as his hand simply slipped inside me. It didn’t hurt much—but it felt utterly unpleasant and more intimate than anything I’d ever experienced.
He moved his fingers around inside me, rummaging through my innards like he was searching for something. Desperately, I tried to push myself away from Hidan to create some distance, but the tree trunk behind me made escape impossible.
I gasped, choked, when my fear became reality—Hidan found the spot he’d been looking for. The threads protecting my last heart, gathered like a shield, he simply pushed aside.
"Stop," I croaked, already pleading. But I knew he wouldn’t.
I could barely breathe anymore, was close to hyperventilating, and dug my fingers into his arm with all the strength I had left. I scratched his skin, left bloody welts, but Hidan ignored them.
And then our eyes met and locked. The violet of his irises burned into my retinas while my frantic heartbeat pounded in my ears as I stared into my end.
The last thing I felt was a gentle touch.
Warmth wrapped around my heart—and then there was only… darkness.
Chapter 3: Death
Summary:
After a haunting dream of his death, Kakuzu wakes weakened and cold, with Hidan quietly tending to him.
Chapter Text
Death.
You could delay it or hasten it, but you couldn’t cheat it. Sooner or later, it would catch up with everyone. I had made it my mission to hold it off as long as possible. Death was supposed to have a hard time taking me. I wanted to live. Long. Longer than anyone else.
But over the years, I’d forgotten the reason why. Why did I want this? Why did I even want to live? What was the appeal in watching everyone I met grow up, live, and die? Was it just about outlasting them all?
Or was I waiting? Waiting for something I still wanted to experience before I could come to terms with death? Did I truly believe life had something good left to offer?
Why did it all feel so meaningless?
Cold.
Hidan’s hand felt cold, and I wanted to scream. But my throat was constricted, so I could only choke out a strangled sound.
I saw his wicked grin as he tightened his grip on my heart, which was beating frantically against the walls of its ever-tightening cage. Just when I thought I couldn’t endure it any longer, a jolt ran through my body. With wide, shocked eyes, I watched as Hidan ripped my heart from my chest. His hand was covered in blood, and I stared at the lump of flesh in his palm. It beat weakly once, twice, then stopped for good.
The silver-haired man was still grinning, glaring down at me with a twisted look of hate before sinking his teeth into my dead heart. Like a ravenous wolf, he tore off a piece, wrinkled his nose, and spat it at me in disgust.
When he saw the stunned look on my face, a manic laugh burst out of him. His chest shook, a crazed gleam in his eyes. His laughter echoed in my ears in the most vile way. My head throbbed, and I gasped for air—in vain. I desperately needed oxygen, but with every breath, the suffocating feeling only grew worse.
And then I understood why—there was no heart left to carry oxygen through me.
I was dead.
And yet… I felt no regret, no sorrow, no fear. There was only… relief. Relief that it was finally over.
Gasping and drenched in sweat, I shot upright. My breath came in ragged bursts as I frantically felt around my chest. But there was no hole. And once I was sure my heart was still in place and beating, it hit me—it had just been a dream. Relieved, I lay back down. But the next moment, my stomach rebelled, and I rolled to the side and vomited onto the cold stone floor. Since my stomach was empty, only bile came up.
Disgusted, I spat several more times until the taste finally began to fade from my mouth. Then I collapsed back again, breathing in and out deeply. A bitter cold had settled deep into my bones, making me shake uncontrollably. I ignored it—just like the numb, tingling sensation in my limbs, as if the blood flow had been cut off—and instead tried to recall what had happened.
"You’re awake."
I turned my head and spotted Hidan standing at the entrance to the small cave I was in. He was holding gathered firewood and examining me, glancing briefly at the puddle of vomit before focusing back on me.
His mere presence was enough to bring my memory crashing back—the fight, throwing myself in front of him, the jutsu that hit me, the forest, my destroyed hearts, and how Hidan had tried to rip out my last one.
"I thought you might never wake up again."
"How long was I out?"
My partner stepped closer, which I watched with tense caution. But my worries were unfounded—he simply sat down beside me and began stacking the branches and twigs into the small fire pit.
"Almost three days."
"I’m so cold," slipped out of me. I didn’t care what Hidan might think of me—I was so miserably cold I could barely stand it.
"Sorry, the fire went out. It'll be warm soon. But maybe it wasn’t all bad. At least now you’ve risen from the dead again. I really wasn’t sure what else to do with you. Here, drink."
He handed me a cup, which I grabbed with trembling fingers. Slowly, I forced myself to sit up, and only when the water hit my throat did I realize how incredibly thirsty I was. I drank so fast I nearly choked. Once my thirst was somewhat quenched, I collapsed back down, panting.
While Hidan focused on the fire, I took the opportunity to assess my condition.
My body ached, I was unbearably cold, and I still suffered from mild cramps. But I could move again, even if every motion took great effort. My stitches were taut again, and the threads no longer spilled from me like limp worms. Still, I felt weak, drained, and a bit dizzy.
A crackle sounded as Hidan finally got the fire going again. I carefully scooted closer, grabbed my cloak—which had been half-draped over my legs—and pulled it up over my shoulders like a blanket.
I watched Hidan cautiously, eyeing every movement for any sign that he was up to something. Even though I was still alive, I couldn’t rule out the possibility that he might exploit my current weakness—however he saw fit.
But Hidan behaved normally. Maybe just a bit quiet, as he sat cross-legged by the fire, staring into the flames. A few times he glanced over at me, but he always looked away the moment our eyes met.
Eventually, I was too exhausted to keep watching him. I gave in, closed my eyes—which had already been fluttering shut now and then—and let myself be wrapped in the comforting warmth of the fire.
Chapter 4: Heart
Summary:
During his slow recovery, Kakuzu questions Hidan’s unexpected care, as small moments hint at a growing, unspoken bond.
Chapter Text
Heart.
I truly believed Hidan would tear mine out. We were partners, a well-practiced team when it came to battle. But only because we had to be. There was nothing more between us. Hidan cared only for his god, just as I only cared for my money. Nothing else mattered to either of us.
He’d always hated the way I treated him. I openly displayed my superiority over him, and I enjoyed provoking him with it. That’s why I believed he would offer me to his god the moment the opportunity arose.
Why had he let it pass?
I wanted to rest, but it seemed I’d had enough of that in the last few days—I couldn’t fall asleep properly anymore. I was awake, yet my body was too weak to do anything but lie there. And so the hours passed in a half-conscious daze.
I thought a lot. Mostly about Hidan.
He remained quiet and acted like nothing had happened. So I concluded that he wasn’t a threat. If he wanted to kill me, he would’ve done it by now. And if he still planned to, I wouldn’t be able to defend myself any time soon anyway. So there was no point in staying on high alert. Constant vigilance was exhausting—and that surely wasn’t helping me recover.
I didn’t know why he held back. Maybe it was some kind of ceasefire—a grace period that would end as soon as I got better? Maybe he thought he owed me something? That would explain why he had toned down his usual provocations, which had annoyed me daily before all this.
In a half-sleeping state, I noticed him leave the cave once, though he didn’t stay away long. The next time I opened my eyes, I saw he had brought me fresh water and washed away my vomit. I didn’t say anything, but I was grateful. It wasn’t exactly pleasant lying next to that mess, unable to move far from it.
On our travels, we each took care of our own needs. We were loners forced into a team. Equals, giving each other nothing. That’s why it felt strange now to be dependent on Hidan—even in the slightest. And even stranger that he actually took care of me without taking advantage of the situation, even if it was only the bare minimum.
All day, one unspoken question hung between us. And with every glance Hidan threw my way, it seemed to grow heavier.
Why did you do it?
A few times it seemed like he might actually ask me. But in the end, he never did—which suited me just fine. Because I didn’t have an answer. If I didn’t even know why I had risked my life for him, how could I possibly explain it to him?
Late at night, as my consciousness hovered between wakefulness and sleep, I felt something against my back. It was warm and pressed lightly against me.
"You saved me," a voice whispered in the darkness.
But only moments later, I was no longer sure whether I’d imagined it.
The second source of warmth helped chase away that stubborn cold still clinging to my bones, and I slowly drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.
My recovery was slow.
Most of the time, I lay near the fire, lost in thought. I hated doing nothing, but my body demanded rest—and I wasn’t foolish enough to deny it or strain myself too soon. I had barely escaped death. I had to take it slow.
I wasn’t the talkative type, and usually only spoke when necessary. But I found myself enjoying it whenever Hidan said something. Even if it was trivial and I rarely responded—I still listened. It helped pass the time.
Hidan left the cave several times a day. I didn’t know exactly what he was doing or where he went. Probably keeping an eye out for enemies—or maybe, like me, he just couldn’t stand sitting still for so long and needed to stretch his legs.
But he never left me alone for too long.
Our food supplies must have run low during my unconsciousness, because on the evening of the second day, Hidan returned from one of his outings with a freshly caught rabbit and some gathered berries. He roasted the meat over the fire, and although I repeatedly insisted I wasn’t hungry, he didn’t let up until I gave in. I couldn’t eat much, but at least I managed to keep it down.
Two more days passed. By the third day, the urge to wash myself became overwhelming.
It was a relief to take the first step out of the cave and finally see something other than cold stone walls. I followed the path Hidan had described to me—my legs still shaky—and soon found the small stream. I knelt by the bank, catching my breath—the walk had already worn me out.
A lake would’ve been more practical for washing. But in my current state, searching for one was out of the question.
The stream was surprisingly clear, and after undressing, I took the chance to inspect my body. I didn’t seem to have any visible external injuries from the incident—aside from the massive, ugly bruise that stretched from my chest to half my abdomen. It still hurt a bit when I pressed the skin there. The bruise was starting to turn from purple to yellow at the edges—a good sign. It meant it was healing.
I used a cloth, dipped in the cold water, to clean myself. It felt incredibly good to finally wash away all the sweat and grime from the past few days. After also giving my hair a rough rinse, I felt somewhat clean again—even though I had to put my torn clothes back on. My cloak looked just as worn. Getting new, clean clothing would be at the top of my list once we started traveling again. I couldn’t keep walking around like this, I thought, and headed back.
Hidan was already waiting. He sat by the fire, eating one of the two skewers. He looked up briefly as I entered.
I sat down beside him, grabbed my skewer, and bit into it hungrily. Tonight, it was squirrel—less disgusting than it sounded, but I was still looking forward to eating something other than whatever was running around in the forest.
"I got something for you."
Hidan reached into his cloak and tossed me a bundle of fabric, which I caught with one hand—it was my forehead protector, along with my head covering and mask.
"I found it in the woods. Not far from where I found you after the fight. I figured you’d want it back, because… I don’t know… maybe it’s important to you. Or something."
The plate bearing the symbol of my village was a little dirty, but the scratch that marked me as a rogue ninja was still clearly visible under the dried mud.
I stared at it in silence for a few seconds, pushing back the memories that tried to creep in.
Shaking my head, I set the items down beside me.
"Not really," I replied coldly and kept eating.
"We should check in with Pain soon," I said, changing the subject.
I’d been too focused on myself the past few days to think about anything else. But now that I was doing better, I was sure the leader was already wondering where we were. Normally, we checked in regularly to report on our mission progress. And if Pain got too impatient, he contacted us directly with his mind-projection jutsu.
Our last mission had been to capture the Nibi, and we had been on our way to Kumo when those unknown shinobi got in our way. From our current location, it was only a two-day journey to Kumo—we were nearly a week behind schedule. It was surprising that Pain hadn’t reached out yet.
"I already did," Hidan said.
I lowered the skewer and looked at him.
"What did you tell him?"
"That the Jinchūriki’s still hiding and we haven’t figured out who the Nibi is sealed in yet. I said we’re tracking a bounty until our informant contacts us with updates."
"You lied to him," I said matter-of-factly, not accusing him.
Although it was only a half-lie—we really hadn’t heard from our informant yet. But that didn’t explain why he had hidden the incident from the boss.
"Yeah. I figured you’d prefer it that way."
I stared at him in silence for a moment—I hadn’t expected him to lie for my sake. He didn’t seem to notice my look; he just kept eating. A bit of fat ran down his mouth, which he licked away quickly with his tongue.
"I do," I finally muttered.
As if he’d expected nothing else, Hidan simply nodded.
I turned back to my food, but a sharp pain suddenly shot through my chest. I winced, grabbed at the spot, and dug my nails into the fabric of my shirt.
Attacks like that had happened a few times in recent days. But the lingering intensity of these aftereffects was troubling. I just hoped they wouldn’t be permanent—that eventually, they would fade.
"What is it?" Hidan asked—he must’ve noticed my tense posture.
He examined me closely, and I tried not to let my face show too much, so he wouldn’t immediately know what was going on.
"Nothing," I deflected. Fortunately, the pain began to ease.
After I finished eating, I lay down near the fire and watched the flames dance for a while before closing my eyes and trying to sleep. Night was falling—dim light from outside filled the cave, giving the flickering shadows on the stone walls an eerie touch. It didn’t take long before Hidan lay down beside me.
He’d done that every night since. And just like every other time, I didn’t stop him.
It had been strange at first, having someone suddenly seek my closeness. But it didn’t bother me. It was actually… kind of nice. I liked the warmth he gave off. Even though I felt better now, I still reacted very sensitively to the cold. I was almost always cold, even though it was only autumn and the temperatures weren’t that low yet. I wasn’t sure why, but I suspected it had something to do with the hearts I’d lost. Maybe my circulation just wasn’t as efficient with only one heart left. That would explain why, when I was fully stocked, I rarely got cold—even in winter.
My thoughts were interrupted as I felt Hidan behind me, scooting a little closer. Then came the words he had whispered so many times before:
"You saved me."
So simple in wording—yet the tone carried deep meaning.
Until now, Hidan had only lain close—just enough that I could feel his presence. But tonight, he dared more. Perhaps encouraged by the fact that I had never pushed him away, he hesitantly wrapped an arm around me. When I didn’t react, he placed his hand on my stomach. Even when his breath touched my shoulder, and he rested his cheek against the back of my neck—I still felt no urge to pull away.
And then, all at once, I knew.
Hidan had never intended to hurt me in that forest. He didn’t hate me. He never had. Just as I had never truly hated him.
Chapter 5: Hatred
Summary:
Kakuzu and Hidan leave their hideout in search of supplies and crossing paths with opponents. Along the way, tensions and unexpected moments of understanding surface between them.
Notes:
It’s been a while since I started writing this story, and I’m realizing now that there is quite some stuff in the first few chapters I’m not happy with anymore. But before I think about revising, I want to finish writing the story first. So, I’m sorry.
Will answer comments as quickly as possible!
Chapter Text
Hatred.
I saw it everywhere. In others, but most of all in myself. Ever since the village elders had thrown me into a filthy cell as payment for my loyalty back then, it had taken hold of me. It fed me, poisoned me, gave me strength, and at the same time left behind a deep emptiness.
At some point, it overshadowed everything else, and I believed I would never be able to feel anything else again.
I had been wrong.
"Finally we’re out of that stinking cave! But where exactly are we going now, Kakuzu?"
"We’re tracking that guy down. I’m going to make him pay. Once we find him, he’ll wish he’d never been born. But first I need to stock up on hearts. So we keep an eye out for any shinobi worth the effort. Before that, though, we should make a quick stop in a village. Get supplies and new clothes."
"Oh man, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk this much in one go. Seems like you’re feeling better, huh?"
Hidan grinned at me from the side, then sighed when I didn’t react to him.
"But fine, we can slaughter the next ones unlucky enough to cross our path. As long as I get one I can sacrifice to Jashin-sama, I’m all for it."
We had left the cave half an hour ago and were heading east. At the moment, we were in Shimo no Kuni, close to the border to Kumo.
I wasn’t fully recovered yet, but I couldn’t have stayed in that cave any longer. On top of that, I wanted to get new hearts as soon as possible. Right now, I was extremely vulnerable—if we ran into stronger opponents, I’d be in trouble.
A village soon came into view, and after we had stocked up there, we went looking for the guy who had messed me up so badly. Our path took us through dense forests with occasional clearings, which we scanned for possible enemies from the cover of the trees. When we actually spotted a small group of Kumo ninja a short while later, I was suddenly on edge. I didn’t show it outwardly, but it unsettled me to seek confrontation with others while I had only one heart. I thought twice about whether we should reveal ourselves to them. But one of them had the rare chakra affinity of wind, which would make an excellent addition to my collection, and so it was too tempting to just let them pass. So I gave Hidan the signal to attack.
Luckily, they didn’t give us any real trouble. I still held back in the fight and let Hidan do most of the work. Swinging his scythe with joy and taking down one opponent after another, he didn’t even seem to notice.
A little later, they were defeated, and while Hidan performed his ritual on one of the other two, I knelt beside the third, who lay unconscious in the dirt with a gaping abdominal wound. I took off my cloak and shirt, and removed the injured man’s upper clothing as well.
My threads, shaped into sharp needles, entered the unconscious man’s body. He was so far gone that he only twitched once when my threads made their way through tissue, bone, and organs inside him. Reaching the left side of his chest, they wrapped around his pounding heart. When I severed all connections to his body, the man arched up in a final desperate movement before collapsing again.
The heart was still beating faintly, warm and velvety in my threads, as I carefully pulled it from the dead man through the abdominal wound. My own chest had already opened enough for me to take it in without difficulty.
The new organ at first felt like a foreign object inside me, and I had to fight the strong urge—to get it out of me immediately. It would take some time to get used to the new heart.
Once it was in its intended place, I began integrating it. It was a difficult process that would take a while.
I lowered my eyelids, focusing on making all the connections correctly and fully linking it to my circulatory system. Once my work was done, it should start beating again. And if it didn’t, I’d have to write it off as another failure—something that had already happened two or three times. I still hadn’t figured out why my body sometimes rejected the new hearts.
"You’re not human anymore, are you?"
I dared a glance at Hidan, who was lying in his ritual circle that he had drawn on the ground with his blood. The spear he had impaled himself with was still in his chest, but his skin had already lost its skeletal tone again.
Grimly, I realized he must have been watching me.
"Depends how you define being human," I grumbled.
"That’s a good question," he replied, gasping as he pulled the spear from his chest. He sat up, wiped it clean on his cloak, and put it back with his belongings. "If you go by the body, we’re probably both not human anymore."
"Maybe so."
"We’re actually pretty similar," he mused, staring thoughtfully at his bloodstained hands.
I snorted, as I strongly disagreed. Then, as if he knew something I had missed, the corners of his mouth curled into a thin smirk.
"No, I really think we’re alike," he insisted, while I tried to figure out what he was getting at. "We’re both… maybe it’s–" he broke off, shaking his head, making me frown.
"What?"
"Forget it. It’d sound stupid if I told you now."
My curiosity was piqued, but I immediately pushed it aside, since I already knew pressing him wouldn’t help. Hidan could be incredibly stubborn, so I let it go and returned to the main topic.
"You’re a fool if you think we’re alike."
Comparing us was absurd. We might both have found a way to extend our lives—but that was it. Otherwise, we were as different as we could be, both in appearance and character.
If an outsider compared us, they’d come to the same conclusion. You could see it at first glance. Hidan’s immortality, his gift—or whatever you wanted to call it—was so much brighter, clearer, purer… so much more beautiful than mine. His body regenerated, fully restoring itself within hours so that his skin always looked untouched. As if he were reborn after every battle. In contrast, my scarred body was the complete opposite.
That’s why I saw no sense in comparing us. Looking at him, no one would ever think of words like freakish or inhuman, whereas for me, it was written on my face. For me, the monster.
The monster that didn’t care it was one. Even though that was my firm belief, somewhere deep inside me there was still a small part that disagreed. And sometimes, I heard things in my head, whispers from it.
Why did you do it?
Why did you allow yourself to become such a monster?
You’ve grown stronger, but at what cost?
What kind of life is this?
How could you stray so far from the path?
Why did you sell your soul for this?
"Why do you think so?" Hidan pulled me out of my thoughts. It took me a moment to remember what I’d last said.
"Just look at me. You’re nowhere near as freakish as I am."
Bitterness had crept into my tone, and I hated myself for not being able to hold it back. Self-pity. That was something I couldn’t allow myself—I had no right to it. I had made myself what I was today. I could never let it get to the point where I started questioning or regretting my choices. If I did, it would all be over.
No.
Kakuzu the human had died the moment I stole the scroll and used the forbidden jutsu on myself. And that was a good thing. I regretted nothing. And that small part that still flared up now and then couldn’t change that. Eventually, even that would disappear. Eventually, I’d manage to erase the last bit of the man I once was.
Even though it wasn’t meant as a prompt, Hidan followed it. He looked at me. His gaze traveled over my scarred back, my face—which probably looked like a grotesque mask to many because of the carved Glasgow smile—moved up to my pupil-less, bloodshot eyes, and finally stopped at my equally disfigured chest.
Something flashed in Hidan’s eyes as he looked at me a moment longer than necessary. Unexpectedly, it gave me goosebumps, but before I could interpret his gaze, whatever had been there vanished. With a shrug, he looked away.
"Freakish or not, the body doesn’t matter anyway. The soul is what counts. How much humanity is left in your soul, Kakuzu?"
"Too much." Enough to shiver under your gaze.
Since I wanted to focus again on integrating my new heart, I turned away from him and closed my eyes. But I was immediately interrupted when I heard Hidan stand up and come closer.
"What’s this?" I growled in warning, eyeing him from the side, which made him stop. He met my gaze calmly.
"You don’t like it when someone gets close to you while you’re… there… on yourself…" He made a vague gesture with his hand, searching for words. "…messing around? Hm?"
I stayed silent, my expression hard, which should have been answer enough for him.
Ever since that incident in the forest, I had no doubt that he had a certain fascination with my jutsu Jiongu. I had noticed his interested looks before, whenever I used my threads or summoned my masks from my back. But back then, I hadn’t given them much thought.
Did he want to know how my body worked? Did he want to uncover the truth of my existence, or was it just shallow curiosity? Like a child wanting to touch everything it didn’t know?
"I just wanted to see it up close. Because I find freakish things incredibly appealing, Kakuzu."
I expected a mocking grin—the kind he always wore when he wanted to tease me. But it didn’t come, and then I realized he actually meant it seriously. But how was I supposed to take that?
When he took a step toward me, I tensed automatically, afraid he was going to do it again. To get close to me against my will like last time, to use me for his strange interests and poke around inside me as if I were some test subject.
But this time, I wouldn’t just let it happen. I wasn’t defenseless anymore. Maybe I wasn’t fully back on my feet yet, but I was definitely fit enough to put Hidan in his place if needed.
Hidan must have noticed my tension, because he suddenly burst out laughing.
"Oh man! Don’t piss yourself. If you insist, I’ll leave you alone. But seriously, I don’t bite, I just wanted to see it. Stop always assuming the worst."
He raised his hands placatingly and continued chuckling quietly. I found it far less amusing.
"I do assume the worst. That way nothing can surprise you. You should try it sometime."
"I’ll keep it in mind," he grinned. "By the way, I hate that word. Freakish. How awful is that? If you and I are freaks, then the whole damn world is." He snorted in contempt, as if to emphasize his hatred for the world.
"You’re not freakish. Hell, if you ask me, that word doesn’t suit you at all. I’d come up with something way better for you. Like Heart Thief, for example. Sounds way cooler! Almost like one of those villains from those comics. You know, the ones I read when you drag me into one of those bookstores. They always have such crazy names, nobody calls them by their real name."
Once again, I was surprised at how quickly Hidan’s mood could change. Just a moment ago, we’d been having what I thought was a serious conversation—or at least I thought so; Hidan was still unreadable to me in that regard—and now a flood of nonsense was spilling from his mouth.
"The immortal duo," he chuckled. "The Heart Thief, and I’m then… uhm…"
"The God of Death."
Hidan frowned at first, then gave me a wide grin.
The term had slipped out before I could stop it. It was probably the first thing that came to mind when I thought of Hidan.
On our travels, he often talked such nonsense, complained about trivial things, or rambled on with random, unrelated stuff without even pausing for breath. He often got on my nerves with it. But sometimes, I envied him for his lightheartedness.
"I thought you were an atheist and didn’t believe in any god? But fine… the Heart Thief and the God of Death."
He nodded approvingly, strolled over to his scythe, picked it up, and slung it over his back.
"I like it," he added a bit more softly and gave me one last glance over his shoulder.
Chapter 6: Change
Summary:
Kakuzu struggles with unsettling changes in himself, while Hidan’s behavior grows increasingly difficult to ignore. Between unexpected intimacy and the demands of their mission, the bond between them begins to shift in ways neither had foreseen.
Notes:
I have to mention it again: I’m no longer satisfied with some of the scenes in the upcoming chapters and would really like to rewrite them. Some parts feel OOC, cringe, or just don’t make much sense. Starting from chapter 11, it gets better, since I had a writing slump and the fanfic was on pause for 4 years.
Chapter Text
Change.
Since the incident that had almost cost me my life, something was different.
I didn’t know exactly what, only that something had changed. With Hidan. With me. With the two of us. I couldn’t explain it. Had he done something to me when he touched my heart?
Because ever since then, it had been difficult to keep my thoughts together, to concentrate. As if Hidan had slipped into my mind and lodged himself there so firmly that it seemed impossible to get rid of him. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, watching him when he wasn’t looking. Wondering what was going on in his head or what his life had been like until now.
I couldn’t stop imagining what else might be different between us.
It was the middle of the night and something had woken me.
I was lying on my back, Hidan was beside me as always, but for some reason he couldn’t keep still. Only when the fog of sleepiness lifted from my mind did I realize what he was doing.
He had his head resting on my shoulder, one arm draped across me, one leg bent over mine. None of that was unusual anymore. Only his ragged breathing was new. Julst like the way his fingers dug into my side whenever his hips pressed sideways into mine.
He was rubbing himself against me. It didn’t need to be stated that he was aroused.
When he noticed I was awake, he gasped in shock and instantly stopped what he was doing. He quickly pulled back a little, so his groin wasn’t pressed against me anymore. Then silence. He didn’t move at all, lying completely stiff beside me. Almost as if he was actually afraid of my reaction. Which surprised me a little, since usually he didn’t care in the slightest what I thought about things.
I expected some dumb remark, swearing, or crude excuse. Anything that would explain this somehow. But, against expectations, Hidan stayed silent.
Which left me staring wordlessly into the darkness for a while, wondering what was I supposed to make of this? I wasn’t truly shocked or speechless—after all, I’d been teamed up with Hidan for a while now and knew he was always good for a surprise. But this… this was different. It caught me off guard.
Yet I didn’t find it repulsive, nor did it disgust me. Otherwise I would’ve already smacked him and kicked him out of bed.
"Pretty bold of you, doing something like that while I’m sleeping," was the first thing that came to mind.
"What do you mean?" he asked a fraction too quickly.
I scoffed silently. Did he really think he could fool me?
A twitch went through his body when I silently placed my hand on his lower back, pulled his hips against me again and made it clear that I knew very well what he’d been up to.
Immediately he pushed against me, trying to regain distance, but I held him firmly in place and didn’t let go. It almost seemed like he feared blows or other violence from me—and, to be fair, under normal circumstances I didn’t waste time acting when something displeased me. But why should I be angry about this?
"Don’t you want to finish what you started?"
That must have confused him quite a bit, because the moment I said it, his resistance froze. With a sharp tug I pulled him back fully against me. His crotch pressed against my hip again, and only after I mimicked his earlier movements—signaling that he could continue—did he start to relax.
Hesitantly, he followed my lead, and as I kept my hand on his back, guiding his motions, his uncertainty slowly melted away until he was rubbing himself against me as before.
His movements grew more demanding, and I could clearly feel his arousal now, which he pressed against me without holding back. Hidan’s head slipped into the crook of my neck, making his heavy breathing even more noticeable. All of it stirred a heat inside me that didn’t come from friction alone.
He dug his fingers into my side again, harder this time, and when he dared to slide his hand under my shirt, I had a hard time letting this go on without reactingI had allowed him to use me to get off, but joining in hadn’t been part of my plan. Hidan, however, seemed to think otherwise, or perhaps he was simply too carried away to keep his hands to himself.
I shuddered when he traced my side, fingers running over every inch of skin he could reach, as if he already craved more contact. Goosebumps spread over me, and I fought against the sound that still broke from my throat when his nails scratched lightly down my side.
Hidan probably didn’t even realize, but I was very sensitive there. And the way he touched me was exactly how I liked it—exactly the kind of thing that made my blood race. Whether intentional or not, his actions were having an effect. Blood was already rushing downward.
This hadn’t been planned, but it was too late to back out now.
With my free hand I grabbed the leg he had draped over me and pulled it higher, pressing his thigh against my crotch. Hidan let out a soft moan when he felt that I was starting to get hard from all this as well.
He faltered briefly, then kept going, rubbing himself on me while pressing his thigh against my groin. A low growl slipped from me as I dug my nails into his thigh, pressing him harder against me. I thrust my hips into him demandingly, until we found a rhythm that worked for both of us.
I had realized long ago that I wasn’t as opposed to men as I was supposed to be. Even if I had never acted on it before, I had never imagined that the first time would be with Hidan of all people. Still, the only thing that really felt odd about it was the fact that we were both still fully clothed.
I almost laughed at myself. The last time I had done anything sexual in such a tame, restrained way was back in my youth. Normally I was much rougher, more demanding—I took what I wanted and wasn’t satisfied with half measures. That I usually did such things with women was only one of the reasons I was holding back now.
My clothes were already sticking to my sweaty skin as we got faster, rougher, less controlled. We lost rhythm now and then, too far gone to coordinate properly.
The closer Hidan got to climax, the more unrestrained he became. He didn’t hold back, he let himself go completely, and he didn’t suppress a single sound. He wasn’t exactly quiet, and if he hadn’t woken me earlier, his noises surely would have done the job. Complaining about that was the last thing on my mind.
It didn’t take long before Hidan suddenly tensed, clutching me so hard it hurt. He buried his face in my neck, and the only sound from him was a muffled cry. His hot breath hit my skin, sharp teeth grazed my neck, and I could have sworn I felt something wet—which only made the tingling in my lower belly flare hotter, pushing me to my own limit. My hand tightened on his thigh as I yanked it against me one last time before losing control and coming with a rough moan.
Once the waves of my orgasm had passed, I collapsed back onto the mattress, panting. It took a while for my breathing to steady and for me to come down. In the silence, Hidan too seemed to feel no need to speak—and that was fine with me.
He was the first to move again, pulling his leg from my grip, and only then did I realize I had still been holding it. Casually he draped an arm over me again, shifting around until he got himself comfortable.
When he finally stilled, I closed my eyes too, trying to ignore the sticky discomfort in my pants. That could wait until morning.
The following days dragged on and were long and exhausting.
In search of suitable shinobi whose hearts I could steal, we had already been wandering the area for a good two weeks. By now, I carried three hearts inside me again, and the cold that hadn’t left me since my near-death had since eased somewhat. That was a relief and confirmed my suspicion that it had been caused by the missing hearts.
It would still take some time before I regained my original strength. I was missing two more hearts until then, though I had already reserved the last one for the man whose jutsu had managed to bring me to my knees in the first place. He would pay for that.
On our trek, we stayed close to Kumo. Even though Hidan’s lie to Pain had bought us some time, it was still more practical not to stray too far from our real target. We made use of the smaller villages to gather supplies, and occasionally spending the night under a roof didn’t hurt either.
Another week passed before the informant, who was supposed to tell us the whereabouts of the Jinchūriki, contacted us earlier than expected. Which ruined my plans, since I had only managed to acquire a fourth heart by then. Hidan and I had only been on the road again for a few hours, heading to a small village on the edge of the forest, following the trail of the lightning-jutsu guy. I would have preferred to fully stock up first—and deal with that man on the side—before Akatsuki’s affairs caught up with us.
Nevertheless, I decided that we would take care of the Nibi first. The lightning-jutsu man wouldn’t escape me. Besides, Pain would be satisfied for now if we completed his mission. Even though we hadn’t heard from the leader since Hidan’s lie, it still felt like he was breathing down our necks, pressing us to hurry. Keeping him waiting too long wasn’t advisable and, truth be told, not very comfortable even for me.
It didn’t take us more than half a day to reach Kumo. Two more days passed before we had the Jinchūriki in our grasp. It was a young woman named Yugito Nii, whom we intercepted in a tangled tunnel system.
Even though she carried one of the nine Bijū spirits, she had been very disappointing in terms of combat. I had imagined it would be harder to defeat her. With all the rumors circulating about how unbelievably strong and powerful the Bijū were, I had expected more from her.
We reported back to Pain, who seemed more than pleased with our progress and immediately ordered the extraction of the Bijū. So we brought the unconscious woman to a nearby hideout, and it didn’t take long for the other Akatsuki members to arrive, since with Pain’s jutsu they didn’t need to appear physically.
Extracting the Bijū from her body and sealing it into the eerie statue took three full days and nights. It demanded tremendous concentration and was extremely draining—mentally and physically. To deal with the hunger, which we couldn’t take care of during that time, we swallowed food pills that Zetsu had specially prepared. They dulled the feeling of hunger and contained the most important vitamins the body needed, making it possible to endure the three days at all.
The exhaustion afterward hit even harder, so when it was finally over, I gave in to Hidan’s request that we get a room at an inn to rest for a day or two before moving on. The other members probably did the same, and even Pain seemed exhausted, since he dismissed us immediately afterward and would likely only give further orders later.
The inn gave a very simple impression, but the bare necessities were enough for us. The exhaustion ran so deep that we wouldn’t be doing anything but resting or sleeping anyway—we didn’t need more than a halfway comfortable bed for that.
I didn’t miss Hidan’s sideways glance when I booked a room with one bed, nor the unmistakable irritation of the woman at the reception when she looked back and forth between us and asked if I was sure about the double bed. My intimidating appearance and the harsh way I asked her if she had a problem with it were enough to make her lower her gaze, mutter an apology, and not dare to speak another word to me.
She could think whatever she wanted, it didn’t matter to me. It simply didn’t make sense to pay for two beds if one would remain unused. Hidan seemed to see it the same way—or at least didn’t mind—otherwise, he certainly would have made himself heard.
"Man, I’m beat!" Hidan groaned as we climbed the stairs to the rooms. "I just wanna sleep. Eat and sleep. I could tear through a whole buffet, I’m so ready to eat."
"Those food pills should still be working, though…" I replied as we entered our room. I immediately took off my cloak, hung it over a chair, and freed my face from the layers of fabric I hid behind during the day.
Hidan stood next to me, inspecting the room for a moment. Judging by his expression, he wasn’t particularly impressed by what he saw. But he seemed too tired to complain. Which was almost a miracle, considering the furnishings looked shabby even by our standards. It wasn’t surprising we were almost the only guests here.
"I’m not even really hungry, but having that gross empty feeling in my stomach sucks. And I just like eating."
I had noticed that already.
"You think I could get something here?" he asked, looking at me. I shrugged and shook my head slightly.
"Didn’t look like they had a kitchen." Not to mention, I seriously doubted the food here would be edible. "You’d probably have to go further out to get something."
Hidan grimaced.
"Nah, forget it," he said, pulling off his cloak as well. "No way I’m going back out now."
"We can eat tomorrow," I suggested, taking a quick look around the small bathroom. At least there were towels. Which meant nothing stood in the way of a hot shower. I, too, only wanted to wash up and then sleep. Staying awake for so long always felt like being stuck in another reality—my vision lagged strangely, like I’d had too much to drink, and everything seemed twice as exhausting.
"Fine," I heard him say as I shut the bathroom door behind me.
After showering, I lay down in my underwear, hair still slightly damp. Only the soft patter of the shower was audible as I turned onto my side, trying in vain to fall asleep. Strange—I was so exhausted and tired, yet after being awake for so long, it felt unnatural to just close my eyes now. It was only late afternoon, still bright outside, which was probably another reason it was so hard to switch off.
The water stopped, and a short while later Hidan came out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. I watched him until he happened to glance at me, looking a little surprised—he probably thought I’d already be asleep.
"Hey, what are we doing later? I mean, once we’ve slept and eaten?"
I met his gaze questioningly.
"We’ll pick up the trail of that guy again."
He pulled the towel from his head, his hair sticking up wildly in all directions. Without his usual strict hairstyle, he looked like a different person.
"You still wanna go after him?" he asked in surprise.
"Of course." I had thought that was obvious.
He tossed the towel aside, ran his fingers through his hair a few times to tame it somewhat.
"I mean, sure, you’re still missing a heart, but couldn’t you just kill the next best guy for that? Why run halfway across the country because of some dude? What’s the point? I say just kill whoever fits the bill next and call it a day. Same result. Way easier."
I rolled onto my back, folding my arms behind my head.
"Easier, but nowhere near as satisfying."
Judging by the way Hidan looked at me then, he realized I was out for revenge and wouldn’t just give up the hunt.
"Heh." He grinned slyly. "Gotcha, you wanna make him pay, huh? Fine, I’m in."
A murderous gleam lit his eyes, leaving little doubt that he was imagining all the gruesome ways we could take the guy down.
I said nothing—whether he supported my plan or not didn’t matter, I’d pursue it regardless. And since we were a team, he had no choice but to come along anyway. Still, I couldn’t help but take note that he wanted to help me of his own accord.
Was it just bloodlust, or was there another reason?
I let my thoughts wander a little until Hidan drew my attention again. He stood awkwardly in the room, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly looking unsure of himself—something that didn’t suit him at all. He glanced at me, seemed about to say something, then didn’t.
Puzzled, I raised an eyebrow, taking a while before I understood his problem.
"You sleep next to me every night, and now you’re too nervous to lie down with me?" I asked, my voice tinged with amusement.
Something in his face shifted—probably because this was the first time either of us had openly addressed the subject. Slowly, he dropped his hand from his neck and lifted his chin at me defiantly.
"You mocking me?" he asked, mouth set in a scowl.
Part of me did find it amusing, but I could also understand his hesitation. The circumstances were different now. Usually, we lay down separately, and Hidan only slipped over to me once I was nearly asleep. But now I was wide awake, there was only one bed, and he had no way of lying elsewhere first.
I had never wondered why he didn’t lie down next to me from the start, or what purpose that delay served. But I never would have guessed it was because he didn’t dare to. That kind of shyness surprised me—I never would have thought him capable of it. It showed once again that I only thought I knew him, when in reality I knew nothing at all.
"No," I answered, though the tug at the corners of my mouth wouldn’t stop. I hadn’t intended to tease him, but it was funny nonetheless.
"Looks like it you are," Hidan grumbled, brow furrowed. "I don’t get what’s going on in your head anyway. No idea what you even want from me, okay?"
He crossed his arms defensively, and the fact that he thought he had to justify himself at all was proof enough of how insecure he was. Not even the angry expression and the biting tone could hide it.
"I’m not mocking you," I said seriously. "And did you really think I’d book us a room with one bed if I had a problem with you lying next to me?"
Hidan shrugged.
"Maybe you wanted me to sleep on the floor."
That only made me snort. I wasn’t a nice person, but not that heartless. And the younger one didn’t really look like he believed that’s what I’d intended anyway.
"Don’t be ridiculous," I said, ending the matter.
It took a few seconds before Hidan moved, hesitantly, toward the bed. I turned my head as he slipped under the blanket, lying stiffly beside me, keeping some distance. He risked a sideways glance at me before staring blankly at the ceiling.
I watched him quietly, wondering why he was making such a thing out of this. His strange behavior carried a tension I didn’t like.
Finally, I reached out, grasped his jaw, and turned his face toward me. His eyes met mine as I traced his jawbone briefly with my thumb.
"Insecurity doesn’t suit you, Hidan."
I felt his muscles tense under my fingers as he pressed his lips into a thin line.
"I just don’t know what you want or expect from me."
"What I expect from you?" I frowned. Why would I expect anything from him? How did he get that idea? "I don’t expect anything from you, Hidan. Except maybe for you to pull yourself together. Usually you just do what you want without caring what others think."
Maybe it was just exhaustion, I thought, that made him act so strangely. Maybe his synapses were overstrained and short-circuiting a little.
"And if you wanna cling to me like a woman every night, then by all means—don’t hold back." I teased in a whisper, unable to resist poking fun at him after all.
"Bastard," he hissed, yanking himself free with a snort and turning his head away.
I grabbed him again, though. He resisted briefly, then let me turn his face back toward me. A faint blush had spread over his pale cheeks—probably what he’d tried to hide before. But when I caught his gaze, I couldn’t tell if it hadn’t bloomed from anger instead.
Even so, Hidan looked strange with that soft flush… somehow more approachable. He rarely showed himself like this, and honestly, I could never have imagined what he’d look like embarrassed. But now the image was stuck in my head, and my thoughts wandered unbidden to that night we had never spoken of. It had been too dark back then for me to see his face. But… when I caught him, had he looked the same? What expression had he worn when he…
Abruptly, I let go of him, realizing I had unconsciously stroked his cheek with my thumb. The flush had already faded, and Hidan looked at me, no longer angry, but questioning.
I cleared my throat.
"We should sleep."
I turned onto my other side, resting my head on the soft pillow until I found a comfortable position, then closed my eyes. Behind me, I heard a faint rustle, then silence.
At last, sleep seemed ready to claim me too. Barely a few minutes could have passed before I felt the mattress shift beside me. Moments later, a warm body pressed lightly against my back, and as an arm draped loosely over me, I realized it wasn’t just sleep I had been missing these past days.
"I’m not the one who’s insecure or holding back."
My eyes opened automatically at that. I felt Hidan’s warm breath ghost across my skin. But that wasn’t the reason the hairs on my neck stood on end.
"And deep down, I know you like this too."
No—the reason was the realization that Hidan was right. About everything.
Chapter 7: Conflict
Summary:
Kakuzu wrestles with inner conflict after Hidan unsettles his emotional defenses, pushing him to confront feelings he’d rather ignore. Seeking distraction, he makes choices that only complicate their strained partnership. The tension between them rises, leaving both men at odds with what they truly want.
Chapter Text
Conflict.
I almost never avoided conflict. That didn’t mean I provoked it—I simply preferred an orderly life. I grabbed problems by the root, solved them as quickly as possible, and moved on efficiently. I was, quite simply, pragmatic.
What I couldn’t handle nearly as well were inner conflicts. I often shoved them aside and let them sit there, sometimes for a long time. Especially when they were of an emotional nature. There was no room in my life for sentimentality—so why bother dealing with it at all? Not to mention, I was also somewhat afraid of what I might find if I dug too deep into my own soul.
That’s why I ignored all deeper feelings. They only got in my way anyway. I turned my back on them, locked them away in the deepest of all depths. A place where I hoped even I wouldn’t be able to find them again, even if I wanted to. Buried forever.
But how could I have known that beneath the surface they would only grow stronger, like some shadow-plant? And that, eventually, they would demand attention—painfully so?
How could I have known it was only a matter of time before the first sprout broke through the earth, shook off the clinging dirt, and rose upward, like a plant straining toward the sun?
"Man, this is good!"
The place was buzzing with life. It was full, overflowing with sounds coming from all directions. At the neighboring tables, people chatted animatedly, the clinking of glasses came from the bar, while from the billiard room further back came the sharp clack of colliding balls.
Hidan had already happily dug into his meal, while I had only forced down a few bites and now poked listlessly at my plate.
I watched my partner eat for a while. How hungrily he tore into his food, licked his lips, took a drink, only to sink his teeth heartily into the large skewer again. He did it all so carelessly, as if he had no idea what he had set in motion the night before. As if he hadn’t practically conjured up the chaos now raging in my head.
It was hard to distract myself from it, harder still to make sense of it. How could I, when the cause of my turmoil was always near me and was now sitting right across the table?
"I’m not the one who’s insecure or holding back."
I wished I could call it a lie. But since I had already admitted to myself yesterday that Hidan was right, it would be cowardly to take it back now.
And yet, in the end, it didn’t matter. The ridiculous thing was that it almost looked as if Hidan actually expected something from me. His words had sounded like an invitation, a push he thought I needed.
Hidan was waiting. For me. For whatever it was he hoped I would give him.
Whatever that was—it was never going to happen.
Then why didn’t I push him away? Why did I allow him to crawl into my bed every night? Why did I even expect his closeness?
At first, I had tolerated Hidan’s advances because I thought it was his way of showing gratitude. Back then in the cave, I could have blamed it on my condition that I never stopped him. But now, long since recovered, I still didn’t turn him away or speak against it. Instead, I went so far as to book us a room with one bed—and why?
"And deep down, I know you like this too."
It was hard to admit, but yes. Yes, I did. With every night, even more so. To the point that the desire for more had already surfaced a few times.
Where did that come from? Was it curiosity? Did I want to know what it would be like with another man?
Hidan had already given me a small taste of it. Even though I had written off that one night of ours as nothing more than a misstep under unlucky circumstances—needs flaring up at the wrong time—it hadn’t been all bad. Sure, looked at rationally, what we had done was something you could only shake your head at.
And yet…
"Hey, Kakuzu, is something wrong?" Hidan’s voice tore me from my thoughts.
I looked up from my plate and met his skeptical gaze. But even that didn’t stop my mind from turning further.
The idea of spending the night with some random man to satisfy my curiosity, however, held little to no appeal. But with Hidan, things were different.
"What could be wrong?" I answered coolly.
Unconsciously, I tilted my head, letting myself, for once, weigh the pros and cons. Should I give in to Hidan?
It’s Hidan, a voice in my head immediately barked, as if trying to snap me back to my senses. And I couldn’t deny it—it was absolutely absurd and unwise to start something with Hidan. Wrong on so many levels, bound to cause trouble. After all, we were partners.
Not to mention that since the day we met, we had barely exchanged a kind word. Instead, we constantly clashed. And while I had since realized I didn’t hate him, and we were managing to get along a little better, that was hardly a reason to even consider getting closer to him in that way.
"You tell me. You’ve been quiet all day, making that crumpled-up face like you’re trying to solve some damn hard math problem. And you’ve barely touched your food."
I pushed my plate toward him, making his eyebrows lift in question.
"Eat if you want, I’m not hungry anymore."
No matter how I looked at it—one thing was clear. I had a problem. And since even Hidan had noticed my unease, I should deal with it soon. Not that I had much desire to keep agonizing over it, so I tried to quickly break it down objectively to a single point.
Since I wouldn’t exactly call what happened with Hidan spectacular, I convinced myself my desire was purely physical. Which made sense. The last time I had sought release with anyone had been a while ago.
Over the years, sex had lost its appeal for me, and at some point, I had simply stopped bothering altogether. Of course, the bodily urges still came and went, but generally I saw no reason to involve anyone else in them. Maybe that was the root of my current problem.
"Well then," the silver-haired man muttered, still surprised, as he helped himself to my plate. "If I always get yours, I’ll gladly support your hunger strike."
He grinned at me, but when I didn’t react, he let it drop.
"Seriously though, what’s wrong with you? I can see something’s messing with your head."
"I don’t see how that’s any of your business," I replied sharply, earning a sour look.
"Sorry for giving a damn about what’s going on with you. Won’t happen again." Hidan snorted and turned back to his second helping. His cutlery scraped against the ceramic as he added nastily, "Then keep your mouth shut and keep staring at me like I’ve done something wrong."
I didn’t stoop to answer, and so we sat in silence for a while. Eventually, I rose abruptly from my chair. Less because of Hidan’s biting comments, and more because something had just occurred to me. A way I might be able to deal with my problem—at least temporarily, I hoped.
"What now? You mad about this or what?"
"No. I just have something to take care of." I grabbed my cloak, slipped it on, and ignored the questioning look that immediately shot my way. "Go ahead and finish eating, take your time. We’ll meet back at the inn later."
"Yeah, but—" He looked at me in confusion but didn’t get to finish, because I simply turned away, settled the bill, and left the restaurant.
Outside, the street was brightly lit by the full moon hanging high in the sky. The wind picked up, rushing past me as I set off eastward along the road. This way would get me out of the village the fastest, then onto a beaten path leading to the busier neighboring town. It wasn’t far, but I’d still have to walk a while—which suited me just fine. The little march would do me good, and it was perfect for clearing my head.
On the way I thought about which I should find worse. If it turned out that my problem wouldn’t disappear, that it was inevitably more complicated and that I might actually be drawn to Hidan as a person and not just physically. Or if it simply dissolved into thin air, which could only mean that I had almost died for someone who meant nothing to me.
Could my life really be worth so little to me?
When I arrived in the neighboring village, I realized angrily that all the chaos in my head was weighing me down more than I had assumed. Because when I found myself standing in front of an establishment that would take me in, a fury had built up inside me that made me want to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible.
The red neon letters flickered above the entrance, lighting up the dark alley where hardly anyone was around anymore. Even though I didn’t think much of brothels, this was still the most effective and fastest solution to my problem.
The sake I treated myself to beforehand at the bar tasted cheap and left a stale aftertaste. The woman I chose, considering the high price for her services, looked a little worn out. On top of that, she smelled too much of perfume for my taste and had put on too much makeup. Still, I didn’t complain, especially since the others available appealed to me even less.
At the bar the redhead tried to strike up light conversation with me. After I told her I wasn’t there to talk, she seemed brusque. I followed her upstairs to the second floor, and the few instructions I gave her about what I wanted remained the only words exchanged between us.
When I later left the establishment more or less satisfied, the night air had grown much cooler. The sky was overcast and a light drizzle had set in, which made me hurry back.
When I arrived at the lodging and pushed open the door to Hidan’s and my room, it was dark. At first I assumed I had returned before the younger one. But I was proven wrong when I noticed the bundle wrapped in blankets on the bed.
Quietly I closed the door behind me and laid aside my half-wet coat. I was just in the process of undressing when I noticed movement from the bed.
"There you are finally," Hidan murmured sleepily and rolled heavily onto his side to look at me with half-lidded eyes. "Thought you got picked up and were in trouble. Had the difficult task of deciding: rush to your aid and save your ass or just stay lying here and keep sleeping."
I could make out his faint grin even in the dark.
"As I can see, you chose the latter."
"Nope. I walked through the whole damn village and searched for you for hours. Five minutes before you came through the door, I was still pacing the room." He yawned, drooped his eyelids, and overall looked like he’d drift off again any moment.
"That was bad."
"No it wasn’t, you just don’t have a sense of humor. And in truth I knew you’d manage. Otherwise my intuition would’ve kicked in."
"Didn’t know you think of yourself as a woman."
As I had stripped down to my shorts, I briefly thought about taking a shower first, but then let it go. I was too tired for that. Slightly woozy, the alcohol made me sluggish, and the strain of the sealing hadn’t fully left my bones yet.
"Bastard!" Hidan muttered belatedly, apparently only just realizing what I meant. "You do know it’s not just women who can have that, right?"
"It’s not called female intuition for nothing."
"Man, don’t take everything so literally. Just because it’s called that doesn’t mean men can’t have it too."
I sighed in resignation, though at the same time amused that this stubborn head was still picking a fight half-asleep and refused to back down.
"Enough of that. Move over already."
Hidan was lying in the middle of the bed, taking up almost all of it, but at my request he made space for me. I hesitated, stood for a moment undecided beside the bed. Somehow it didn’t feel right to lie down next to him now, when barely an hour ago I’d shared a bed with a woman.
Shaking my head, I cursed this absurd thought, which was completely nonsensical besides, and sank into the bed. But the oppressive feeling didn’t go away—if anything, it got worse—when I noticed Hidan next to me and shortly after felt him snuggle up against me.
The silver-haired man must have been asleep for a while already, because he felt pleasantly warm. Almost hot, though maybe that was only because the night had chilled me through. After giving me part of the blanket, his head sank onto my shoulder. With a sigh he laid an arm around me.
From his uncertainty yesterday, not much seemed left. Unfortunately. Because right now I wished he would keep holding back.
"Have you been drinking? Bastard, you could’ve taken me with you. Wanted all the fun for yourself, huh?" He pressed his face into the crook of my neck, and as he inhaled it dawned on me that he might pick up more than just that.
"Where have you been? You smell kind of like… perfume?" he asked, puzzled, sniffing at me while I mentally cursed myself a fool. Maybe it really would’ve been smarter to shower beforehand.
"Yeah, perfume and something else. You smell like… like…" He faltered and propped himself up slightly to look at me.
"Did you… were you… where did you go?" His voice trembled slightly, as if he wasn’t sure he really wanted an answer.
"I was at a brothel," I said nonchalantly.
Silence. For a long while he said nothing, didn’t move, just stared at me.
"Uh-huh," he muttered then, seemingly indifferent. But unlike his voice, his face was vivid—his muscles jumping from one emotion to the next. First his brows lifted in surprise, then his lips curled in disgust, his mouth opened only to snap shut again. It seemed like he really didn’t know how to react. Had I really caught him that off guard?
A few seconds later, one emotion seemed to gain the upper hand—anger.
"Why the hell are you telling me that? Just like that?"
"Why not?"
"You could’ve at least lied, or… I don’t know! Opened your damn mouth and talked to me instead of running off to fuck a whore."
"…"
Hidan snorted dismissively and didn’t seem like he wanted to argue with me any further. Because he pulled away from me completely, turned his back, and slid toward the edge of the bed. But with one arm around his waist, I caught him just in time before he had the chance to get out.
"Let me go," he demanded, the anger in his voice now unmistakable.
Ignoring his wish, I suddenly began to regret it. I shouldn’t have told him. Because the way this was developing… that wasn’t what I had wanted.
But really, I should’ve been able to guess that he wouldn’t be exactly thrilled about it.
"Why should I?" I replied, a little irritated myself now, since his abrupt withdrawal left me dissatisfied. "Normally you can’t get close enough to me, the way you sometimes half lie on top of me. I thought that’s what you wanted."
I pulled him so close that his back pressed against my chest. I held him tight, leaving no space between our bodies.
"That I touch you. That’s what you want, isn’t it." To make my point clear, I let my hand wander across his chest once. Pushy. Ignoring his resistance.
Hidan relished every little bit of closeness from me. Even if it was just me not immediately turning my back on him at night. He should’ve liked this.
But apparently, he didn’t. Stubbornly he writhed in my grip, stiffened like a rock, and flinched from my touch as if it disgusted him.
"Fuck you!" he hissed while dragging his nails across my forearm, leaving red welts. The sharp sting on my skin didn’t make me release him, though. I kept holding on, not about to let go.
"I’m not sleeping next to someone who reeks of sex and cheap whore. You stink! Get away, it’s disgusting." He spat the words in disgust, and managed to twist around in my hold. With a dark glare he pressed his hands against my chest, his bent knees digging into my stomach. With all four limbs he tried to shove himself away, to force my arm to give.
We locked eyes, a staring contest that lasted several minutes. As my arm slowly began to ache and I started to lose my hold, I brought in my left arm for reinforcement. I slid it under Hidan and locked my arms behind his back. My hold tightened, drawing an angry growl from him.
Apparently, he’d had enough, because he lost his patience and began punching me in the chest. He squirmed, striking harder and harder, making it difficult for me to keep him under control. Eventually it turned into a scuffle that peaked when I nearly took one of his knees to the groin—if I hadn’t reflexively pulled back.
"I still need that!" I growled furiously, though I wasn’t entirely sure whether he had slipped or had actually meant it.
"Not very sporting of you. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?"
Roughly, I flipped him around and, since I’d had enough, rolled on top of him. To stop any escape attempts immediately—and to avoid getting hurt by him after all—I pinned him beneath me, pressing him belly-down into the mattress with my weight.
He needed to calm down first.
"Oh yeah? Like I care! Go whine to someone else, for example your little whore friend!"
He gasped when I pressed down harder.
"Why does this make you so angry, Hidan?" I wanted to know honestly, but the question only seemed to make him more aggressive.
"Stop it! Let me go, get the fuck off me already!" He screamed and cursed at me, slipping into outright hysteria, which I couldn’t quite understand. I was surprised—why was he so beside himself? He’d been angry before, sure, but this—how he was behaving now—this was on a completely different level. As if a switch had flipped in him from one second to the next.
His yelling was already reaching me only muffled, since he practically forced me to tighten my grip and press his head down into the pillows.
Minutes passed as he kept resisting me with all his might, thrashing, raging, and writhing as if his life were at stake. I gasped when his elbow caught my ribs and immediately caught his arms, pinning them beside his head. He suddenly jerked his head back, nearly smashing my nose, but I pulled back just in time.
He kept trying to find ways to hurt me, but eventually he ran out—by now I had him pinned so tightly he could hardly move a muscle. He was immobile, yet still wouldn’t stop desperately bucking—like a cornered animal. By now it should’ve been clear that this was useless. Except that he only lost even more of the little freedom he still had.
It took a while before he exhausted himself, and only then did he gradually calm down. Finally, he gave up completely and lay still, only groaning under my weight. Then the groaning shifted into a strange sound. To me, it almost sounded like whimpering.
Frowning, I wondered if it was actually possible he was crying. His right shoulder suddenly jerked uncontrollably, and only then did I realize I had underestimated my strength. Hidan couldn’t breathe—I was suffocating him.
Immediately I eased the pressure on his chest and loosened my hold on his head, giving him the chance to turn it to the side. He did so instantly, gasping for breath, then did nothing for a long while except breathe heavily.
I studied his profile, the closed eyes and open lips greedily sucking in oxygen. He was sweating, his light hair disheveled, a stark contrast to his skin, flushed deep red from exertion and lack of air.
Hidan caught his breath a few more times before opening his eyes. His pupils darted restlessly as if he had to orient himself first. When his gaze finally cleared and met mine, his eyelids lowered immediately again. He turned his head away, burying his face loosely in the pillows, as if not wanting me to see him.
"Didn’t know we were back to the point where you kill me whenever something doesn’t go your way," he muttered in a hoarse voice, the bitterness coming through all the stronger. "Here’s a little tip for you: burning is much more painful than suffocating. So if you want to see me suffer, torch me next time."
"I didn’t realize you couldn’t breathe," I defended myself, trying to keep in the apology that suddenly burned on my tongue.
"Great. I don’t care. But now get off me already."
"First you explain to me what that just was."
Sure, Hidan wasn’t happy about the whole brothel thing. That he wanted to keep his distance because of it—understandable. But to freak out like that?
"I don’t know what you mean."
"Don’t bullshit me."
Hidan hesitated several seconds, but then answered.
"I just can’t stand it when I can’t move." As if on cue, he shifted his arms slightly—as much as my hold allowed. "Tight, dark spaces are bad too. If I don’t see any way out of a situation… I panic, okay? I can barely breathe as it is. And you pinning me down like that doesn’t exactly help."
He turned his head again and glanced up at me from the side.
I only frowned, finding it suspicious. An immortal, who had lived through dying and the worst pain countless times, yet was afraid of confined spaces and restricted movement?
"What?" Hidan snapped irritably when he caught my look. "I’m not God or something. Did you really think there’s nothing that gets to me at all?"
I wouldn’t have put it that way but yes, that’s exactly what I had thought.
Hidan always acted so fearless and tough—whether in battle or in general. At first I had thought he was just a good actor, and that he must have a weakness.
When he was first assigned to me as a partner, I had almost feverishly searched for one. Something that would help me bend him to my will, something I could maybe even use to torment him. But no useful leverage had ever revealed itself. That it would turn out to be a simple claustrophobia—I wouldn’t have guessed that in a thousand years.
All the more baffling was that Hidan was now, just like that, openly admitting it to me.
As if reading my thoughts, the younger man twisted his lips sheepishly before setting a blank expression on his face, though it didn’t fool me. He was probably afraid I still intended to use this against him.
"Get off me," he said coldly.
"Will you calm down and stay put then?"
He snorted but didn’t bother to answer—sometimes his stubbornness seemed endless. But I could be just as stubborn if I wanted.
"What do you even want from me?" he finally asked with a huff, apparently realizing I had no intention of letting him go. I knew instantly his question wasn’t about what I wanted in this exact moment.
Yeah, what did I actually want?
I hesitated before answering.
"I want everything to go back to normal."
He looked up at me defiantly, then obviously drew the wrong conclusion.
"I’m not calming down just because you feel like it."
"That’s not what I mean."
"Then what?"
"Our relationship."
He laughed dryly, like I’d told a bad joke.
"Shit, that was never normal, Kakuzu."
"Maybe not, but that’s not the point. I want it to be like before. Before that thing in the forest. And I thought all it would take was me going back to being with a woman."
Everything had been so much simpler when we hated each other. Now everything was different, unfamiliar, just plain confusing. I could’ve accepted that, but then Hidan had planted those thoughts in my head with that one stupid night, awakening this absurd craving that refused to disappear.
"Are you kidding me?" he laughed mockingly, balling his hands into fists. "Where the hell’s the logic in that? But fine, I hope you’re happy now."
He tensed angrily beneath me, as if he were about to lash out again.
No. No, I’m not. I’m far from happy.
That brothel visit hadn’t helped at all. I might as well have spared myself the trouble. I was still drawn to Hidan. Even now, while we were fighting, even in these moments where he made my life hell and I wanted nothing more than to wring his neck.
This pull had maybe always been there in some form, but it had only recently become clear to me. And now, with it burning this strongly, I simply couldn’t ignore it anymore.
"And now let me go already!" His voice was sharp, cutting, with a threatening edge that made it unmistakably clear: enough was enough.
My grip tightened for a brief moment before I reluctantly let him go. I rolled off him, and only seconds later Hidan bolted from the bed. I stayed behind, unsatisfied, watching as he snatched one of the pillows with a dark look on his face.
"What’s this?"
"What the hell does it look like?" he spat back. "I already told you. You stink. And I’d rather sleep in the bathtub than next to you!"
His scornful glare only made my blood boil hotter. Frustrated with how everything had spiraled out of control, I cursed Hidan and the conflicting emotions he stirred in me. I cursed myself, and the whole damn world that had hated me from the moment I was born.
"I wish I’d let you die." The thought had been fleeting, but it still slipped from my mouth in words.
Hidan froze mid-step. Slowly, he turned to me with an expression I couldn’t read.
"Not that. Say whatever you want, but not that. What you did… don’t you dare drag that through the dirt."
It was like I couldn’t even hear him—the world seemed muffled, wrapped in cotton. The only thing I heard was the rushing of blood in my ears. I thought back to life before Hidan, how orderly everything had been. Problems had been nonexistent, as if I’d been on a conveyor belt, following my path straight ahead without ever looking left or right. But now, I was lost. It felt like I was just running in circles.
"I wish you were dead. Then I’d finally have peace and could go on with my life."
"Stop it!" His scream came so suddenly, so unexpectedly, the pounding in my skull vanished instantly.
"You bastard, that’s not fair!" His face twisted in rage, his body trembling like it was coursing with electricity.
"What the hell is your problem, huh?! Why do you spew this crap just because I don’t feel like dealing with you right now?! I can’t make sense of you anymore—you say one thing, then do the opposite, and then switch it all around again. I can’t figure you out, but fine, whatever, do what you want. Just don’t blame me for your screwed-up head. And don’t come at me with this bullshit! Just shut the hell up if all you’re gonna do is talk garbage!"
Hidan had worked himself into a fury, panting heavily after running out of breath.
"You act all high and mighty, like you know everything, but in reality you’re just a damn asshole with no clue at all. You don’t even know what you want! Now I finally get why your village locked you in the dungeon back then. You’re unbearable, no one could put up with you!"
I had endured his tirade unmoved, but those last words made every muscle in me tense. My nails dug unconsciously into the sheets. A fierce rage ignited inside me at his audacity to use things from my past in this outburst. Things that didn’t belong here. Things that—even after all these years—still gnawed at me. He could insult me, yell at me, curse me all he wanted—I could take all of that. But not this.
It made me furious.
"Don’t you dare speak about things you know nothing about," I warned, my voice dark and threatening. Eyes narrowed into slits, I glared at him with hate. I wrestled with control, barely holding myself back from jumping up and unleashing my fury on him.
"I’ll be leaving this place tomorrow. And if you even think about following me, I’ll tear you to pieces and bury your pathetic remains somewhere in the woods."
For a moment, Hidan faltered, a flicker of uncertainty flashing across his face before he met my gaze defiantly.
"You can’t just ditch me. We’re a team. What about Akatsuki? Pain would never allow that, and—"
"You have no idea how little I care. Now get out of my sight. I don’t want to see you again."
"Fine!" he spat. "Then fuck off! I’ll be glad to be rid of you!"
Raging, Hidan stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut with a bang. The strip of light beneath the door disappeared seconds later. There was one last muffled crash, then silence.
Slowly, I sank back onto the mattress. My temper still burned hot, anger coursing like fire through my veins, promising to keep me from sleep for a long while yet. I pulled the blanket up, rolled onto my side, and stared into the darkness, trying not to think.
Eventually, once I’d calmed a little, I could only look back at the scale of our fight as laughable. Still, it was typical—our disagreements always escalated. Sometimes so much that even I couldn’t remember what had started the argument in the first place.
Usually, after a fight, I ignored Hidan for a few days, silent while he punished me with biting remarks. At first, I’d tried to put him in his place with violence, but I’d quickly realized that didn’t work—he simply couldn’t be intimidated that way.
But even after all the fights we’d had, this time felt different. Maybe because our arguments were usually over trivialities. This time, though, words had been spoken that carried far more weight—words that couldn’t easily be brushed aside. And my gut told me that this time wouldn’t be solved by just avoiding each other for a few days.
I had no idea how much time had passed—an hour, maybe two—when the bathroom light came on again. The door creaked open softly, and Hidan appeared in the gap. His eyes flicked around the room, as if trying to make me out in the dark.
"Hey, you awake?" he murmured, though he could’ve answered that himself. He was looking right at me, he had to know I wasn’t asleep.
"I can’t sleep because… that damn tub is really hard and… I don’t know." He rubbed his neck, tilting his head like even he didn’t know what to say. "I shouldn’t have brought up your village."
No kidding, I almost answered dryly, but my pride wouldn’t let me.
"Alright, fine, I’m sorry, okay? But don’t ignore me," he pressed on firmly. "And besides, I’m not the only one who screwed up."
"So now you want an apology from me too, is that it?" My tone made it obvious he’d wait forever for one.
"What?" He sounded a little confused. "No. I mean, it’d be nice if you did, but no."
"Then what is this?"
"I need to know if you meant it. It sounded like you did and… you wouldn’t really do that, would you? Take off, I mean. Just like that, without saying anything? We’ve been a team for so long, gone through all kinds of shit together, and then we’ve only just… we kind of… I don’t know. And you’d really just leave me behind like that? Would you?"
I was surprised that this was what weighed on him. Not my earlier words wishing for his death.
"You wouldn’t, right?" Hidan pressed.
"Why does that suddenly bother you? We fight all the time."
"I know."
"But you’ve never shown up like this before."
"I know."
"So why now?"
"Because this time is different."
So he felt it too?
Carefully, as if unsure whether I’d throw him out at any moment, he approached the bed. The bathroom door was still open, the light left on, but he didn’t seem to care. When he reached me, he paused for a few seconds, gaze questioning—as though asking for permission. I only stared back silently, too drained to risk fueling another fight.
The pillow must still have been lying in the tub, because when he lay down next to me, he rested his head directly on the mattress. Wordlessly, he lay there, staring up at the stained ceiling. Not knowing what to make of it, I eventually mirrored him.
"Earlier you said you wished everything was like before. But you know what?"
Something brushed against my arm. I kept my eyes fixed on an imaginary spot above.
"I think the way things are now is much better."
Cool fingers hesitantly curled around my forearm, holding loosely yet steadily. For a moment, I wanted to pull away, but I didn’t.
"What’s so bad about us becoming a little bit of friends?"
"That’s not friendship," I objected immediately. Whatever this was between us, it wasn’t friendship.
"I know," I heard him whisper.
Somehow, I knew without looking that he was smiling.
"I just didn’t know what else to call it."
His voice had dropped to a tired murmur, barely audible. Hidan’s steady breaths became the last sound filling the room until morning.
Chapter 8: Loss
Summary:
Kakuzu had sworn to leave Hidan, but despite his anger, he can’t bring himself to walk away. Haunted by a traumatic nightmare, he breaks down and seeks comfort in Hidan’s closeness. In that moment of vulnerability, he realizes he no longer wants to let go.
Chapter Text
Loss.
There were many things I had lost. In my younger years, I still tried to gather things and people around me who enriched my life, only to later learn how painful it could be when, in just a single moment, everything was taken away. Over the years, I had learned to live with it. But the emptiness remained, I felt it every day. It was simply ever-present.
Yet I accepted it, thinking that it was better that way. I had fallen too deep to take another risk. Whoever bound themselves to nothing, had nothing that could be lost.
But now I asked myself if that was the right path. I was tired of this emptiness. I was simply sick of having nothing. And I longed for something that would fill me.
The sun had risen hours ago, and still I sat there. Waiting. For what, I couldn’t even say.
The rickety chair was uncomfortable, my few belongings carefully packed away in my cloak. In truth, I had everything—I was ready to leave. I only had to step through the door, and then I would have made good on my threat and disappeared without a trace.
But I didn’t move. Instead, I kept staring at the bed.
Hidan was still asleep. He had only stirred once, rolling over briefly, but otherwise his sleep was deep. He hadn’t woken when I got up. Not when I showered. Not even when I walked around the room, got dressed, packed my things. Prepared myself.
And yet, instead of leaving—as I had intended—I sat down on this chair. And now I’m here, watching his sleeping figure, unable to force my body into motion.
A silent sigh escaped me.
I was a man who kept his word, empty phrases were not in my nature. What I had threatened Hidan with last night, I had meant every word—it wasn’t something spoken lightly. And yet now, it felt unbearably difficult to stay true to my principles and actually follow through.
And still I was angry.
Just thinking back to what he’d said in that fight—about my village—brought the anger simmering up again. I wanted to pay him back, to hurt him. Just as he had hurt me with his words.
My past was my weak spot. And even though I despised myself for being so sensitive to mere words, I couldn’t change it.
But since I had sat here, my anger had turned into inner unrest. I was caught in a conflict. What should I do? If I left Hidan behind as I had threatened, refused to act as his partner any longer… what would happen then? What would become of him?
It should have been irrelevant to me. He was a burden, after all. Alone, everything would be easier. I’d carry out missions faster and more efficiently. I’d have peace, free from the nuisance that partnership brought. No more waiting for him when he couldn’t keep up. No more suffering his endless chatter, his complaints when something didn’t go his way. No more frustration over his reckless fighting style.
Without him, I was better off. That was a fact. Leaving him behind—by force, if necessary—was a good decision. In many respects. It was necessary, it was logical. I should have done it long ago.
Hidan didn’t deserve otherwise.
I mentally nodded to myself, hardening my resolve. His pathetic apology changed nothing.
My gaze drifted toward the door, the door I should have gone through ages ago.
What the hell was still holding me back!?
What was the point of staying his partner? I had always been a loner and worked better alone. Teamwork was a nuisance, though I had learned to live with it. But that wasn’t the reason I hesitated. I wasn’t fooling myself—there was only one reason I sat here, tangled in thought.
Interest. In my idiotic partner.
At least, I believed it was interest. I couldn’t find a better word for it. But who could blame me for being interested in him? Even a blind man could see it—Hidan was attractive. His whole being radiated something exciting, wild. He exuded a passion that was intoxicating. Around him, one felt so alive. There was something undeniably magnetic about him. And sometimes, it seemed to me he wasn’t even aware of it.
I wasn’t the only one who thought so—I’d noticed the glances of young women often enough. And those were certainly not meant for me.
Of course, he was still a foul-mouthed loudmouth. But if you looked past his negative traits, you found a strong personality. We didn’t always agree, but Hidan stayed true to himself. When it counted, he was reliable. He wasn’t the kind who would stab you in the back. If he had a problem with you, he’d say it straight to your face. That was something I truly valued in him.
The fact that I thought this way about him only made it clearer—my interest went beyond the physical. Yesterday’s brothel incident had proven that all too well. Otherwise, I could have simply taken him, and that would have been the end of it. But it wouldn’t be that simple. The fact that I was still rooted here, unable to stop thinking what if?, spoke volumes.
What if I stayed? What if I didn’t resist? How would things unfold if I accepted these twisted feelings, gave them space?
What would I be missing, if I left now?
With a sigh, I closed my eyes and massaged my pounding temples. My thoughts were going in circles, bringing nothing but headaches. When I heard a low groan from the bed, I looked up.
Hidan was still lying where he had fallen asleep, only his face had turned toward the empty half of the bed. The side where I had been lying not long ago. Slowly, he stirred, blinking sleepily, rubbing at his face. When his eyes landed on the empty side of the bed, they widened. A jolt went through him. Suddenly, he shot upright, his gaze darting frantically around the room.
When he spotted me, fully dressed at the old table, his posture relaxed only slightly. He said nothing, just stared at me, seeming to grasp the situation. Normally, I woke him when I rose. The fact that I hadn’t this time said everything.
"How long have you been sitting there?" he asked, studying me warily.
"A while."
He blinked uncertainly, but kept his eyes on me while I returned his stare. The part of me that still wanted to see him suffer wanted to let him squirm a little longer. It wouldn’t do for him to make such a mistake and walk away without consequence.
His tension was written plainly on his face, which gave me a measure of satisfaction. The thought that I could leave him behind and request a new partner from Pain clearly unsettled him. And knowing I had that kind of power over him—that with one word I could deliver a crushing blow—was a satisfying feeling.
Hidan hung on my silence, desperate for what I would say. How I would decide.
In truth, my decision had long since been made. Only a small part of me still refused to accept it.
My expression grew darker as I growled my verdict:
"Hurry up. Or I really will leave without you." There were no words to capture how much I hated him, for pushing me to this point.
His obvious relief—it was written plainly across his face—only fueled my current resentment.
Seconds later, he jumped out of bed and bolted into the bathroom, without a single word. He hurried to get ready, and when we set off, he fell silent beside me. He didn’t argue with me once, didn’t contradict me—whatever I said, he obeyed without protest. As if he wanted to avoid any possible spark of conflict from the start.
At first, his submissiveness suited me just fine. But eventually, after a certain point, it only got on my nerves. Still, it managed to soften me— I couldn’t stay truly angry with him. Because his restraint could only mean one thing: that our partnership mattered to him. And that he didn’t want our paths to part.
And, truthfully, I didn’t want that either.
It was pure coincidence that we picked up this lead, which, as I hoped, would take us directly to the man we were after. Whoever that guy was, he clearly hadn’t bothered to keep a low profile on his travels. He drew a lot of attention, leaving the streets paved with corpses in his wake. At least, if the rumors could be trusted. According to them, he had last been sighted in the northernmost part of Kumo.
On my command, we picked up the trail and traveled northeast for several days before coming across new rumors. And so we followed the breadcrumbs he left behind.
The further east we went, the more humid and muggy the air became. The landscape flattened, hills or rises became rare, and the last mountain was miles behind us. The ground grew looser, swampy, and when we spotted the first swamp grasses, sleeping under the open sky began to get unpleasant.
The north was sparsely populated, and we could count ourselves lucky if we stumbled across a settlement every few days, consisting of more than just a handful of old country huts. With the change in vegetation, it became harder and harder to find trees with branches sturdy enough to hold our weight. Thus, we had little choice but to make do with the softened ground. Walking was arduous, mud clinging to our shoes, spraying dirt with every step, sullying our cloaks.
Hidan grumbled endlessly about the circumstances, while I endured them in silence.
It was the sixth night since our departure, and after a long search, we had found a halfway suitable spot to sleep. Just a patch of a few square meters, but the ground there was dry and firm enough that we wouldn’t wake up even filthier the next morning.
After a small meal, we lay down. Hidan spent the next few minutes complaining about the buzzing of the mosquitoes that had plagued us for days. Here in the swamps, the damn things rose in swarms at every step. His whining eventually faded, silence settling in, broken only by the occasional chirp.
It was a night like any other—or so I thought, until I slipped into a restless sleep.
From which I jolted awake, heart hammering. Sitting bolt upright, eyes wide, I stared blankly ahead. The night was clear, stars glimmering overhead, but I noticed none of it. I was transfixed, frozen, convinced I could still smell the stench of rotting wood, blood, and piss, as though it had burned itself into my sinuses.
Heavy iron around my wrists. Chains rattling at every movement. Darkness that could not conceal my despair. The light of a torch announcing someone’s approach—and with it, the suffocation of the last spark of hope.
My breathing was heavy, and when a sharp pain tore through my chest, I gasped. Not that too! I cursed inwardly at my misfortune—why did the aftereffects of my near-death have to flare up alongside this nightmare? But I was too distracted by the dream; the pain attack almost went unnoticed, drowned out by the memories I thought I had long since buried, now dragging me into a state of shock.
Twisted tools gleaming in torchlight. My pride, shattering with the first scream torn from me. The hot trail of blood running down my skin. The mocking laughter whenever my strength gave out and I collapsed to the ground.
It’s just a dream, I tried to hammer into myself, to calm myself. And yet reality, a voice inside contradicted. I tensed—the truth hit like a punch to the gut. I didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to think about what had been done to me. I didn’t want to remember. I wasn’t in that dungeon anymore. And yet no matter how often I told myself that, it changed nothing. The dream had struck so coldly, I felt as if I were still trapped in that hole.
A sadistic grin, lingering even when I shut my eyes. Thirst that nearly drove me insane. The vile taste of urine forced into my mouth. The humiliation, heavier than any wound carved into my flesh.
I panted, breath shallow, wishing I could deny it all. But it had all happened exactly like that… and the longer I thought about it, the more unbearable it became to remain in my own skin. I tried to calm down, but failed. My body was electric, my mind unable to form a single clear thought. The dream echoed in me, too vivid, too real. The images, the details I now recalled after so long, were so intense they made sweat run cold down my neck and left me feeling faint. With every passing second, I feared I might collapse backward and lose consciousness.
The fear of going mad, whenever the torch was relit and the game began anew. The loss of respect for myself, as I felt the wetness on my cheeks. The agonizing certainty that all of it had been done to me by my own countrymen. Those I had loyally served for years.
My body shook, and I despised myself for such a pathetic reaction.
Why now? Why was I haunted by these memories now? In sleep, one supposedly processed what had happened during the day. But what had provoked this? I could think of nothing. And I refused to believe that Hidan’s recent comment could have triggered it.
Exhausted, I ran a hand over my face, lay down again, and turned on my side, simply to do something, anything. Not knowing how else to drive the memories away, my eyes fell on my partner’s back. His chest rose and fell with steady, quiet breaths, and I forced myself to focus on that. Rise, fall, rise, fall, rise, fall…
Through this mute mantra, I managed to distract myself somewhat. My muscles loosened, the chest pain had faded without my noticing, and little by little, I regained some control. I stayed like that for a while, but couldn’t bring myself to lie flat again. Sleep was out of the question now. I feared the memories would rush back the instant I closed my eyes.
My gaze lingered on Hidan when he suddenly stirred. Yet he didn’t seem to wake, and I was tempted to shake him, just to distract myself with him. But I dismissed the thought—what excuse could I give? That I had a bad dream? Ridiculous! He would only mock me, and his jibes were the last thing I could stomach right now.
So. What now?
My jaw clenched tight. I hated this. Normally, when problems arose, I could find a solution quickly. But not now. I had no idea what to do. The helplessness was infuriating—especially over something so trivial. I could outthink the smartest tacticians, spin a counterplan in seconds, but I couldn’t shake off one pathetic dream.
Mentally, I was at a dead end, and so my anger turned toward every minor annoyance. The ground, foul and damp, already hard enough to sleep on. The constant rain, the cold, this whole damned country! Why did our target have to travel through such a miserable place? Why could Hidan sleep so soundly while I was unraveling? And why was he lying over there instead of here with me?
"Hey," I grunted without thinking, hoping it would wake him.
Since our fight a few days ago, Hidan had been keeping his distance. Though I couldn’t claim I was unaffected, I had simply accepted it. I had forbidden myself from dwelling on him and our strained relationship. But now, I was annoyed he thought he had to avoid me, and suddenly I longed for closeness.
"Wake up," I said louder. When he still didn’t react, I stretched out my arm toward him. I just managed to grab his cloak and gave it a sharp tug. That pulled him onto his back, finally startling him awake.
"What’s going on?" he mumbled, blinking groggily.
"Come here."
When his eyes cleared, he just stared at me in confusion.
"What? Why?"
I sighed silently. Unwilling to explain, I just kept tugging on his cloak, trying to pull him toward me. He watched me with a puzzled expression before finally realizing what I intended.
"No, man." He shook his head, but I didn’t care. As I tugged harder, he resisted, rolled onto his side, grasping for something to hold onto. But the grasses tore in his hands, useless.
"What the hell are you doing?" he snapped. "I’m not your damn dog that jumps whenever you—" The rest dissolved into a grumble as I grabbed his hip and yanked him back roughly.
"Don’t make a fuss."
I pulled him close, one arm locking around him. He stopped resisting, though he lay stiff in my hold, growling under his breath. It didn’t stop me from pulling him tighter against me.
I needed this.
Hidan’s unmistakable scent filled my nose as I buried my face in his neck. The warmth radiating from him calmed me in a strange way. Familiar, and yet not. But I was no longer alone with my memories. Someone was here. I had someone. Hidan unknowingly stood by me. Gave me comfort, though I refused to admit I needed it.
Hidan was here. And that was… good.
Even if I had no intention of confiding in him—or of letting him discover what was going on—I was simply glad he allowed it, that he didn’t immediately push me away. I breathed out in relief, feeling the shadow that had weighed over me since waking slowly dissolve.
Better.
"What’s gotten into you?" Hidan muttered in confusion. He probably couldn’t make sense of my behavior. Understandable—this wasn’t like me at all. I wasn’t myself right now. Acting this way was weak. Pathetic, an overreaction. Silly and shameful.
But I had never cared less in my life.
When I didn’t answer, Hidan gave a soft chuckle.
"Bad dream or what?" he teased.
Unconsciously, I stiffened, pressing my face harder into his neck. Irritation pricked at me, and for a moment I regretted waking him. He mocked me now, just as I’d feared. Though it wasn’t malicious—he couldn’t possibly know how close to the truth he had hit.
"Just shut up," I growled, trying to sound like always. But my voice was dull, drained. Whether Hidan realized how rattled I was or not—he said nothing more. For that, I was quietly grateful. I had no strength left for arguments, or discussions, or even words.
Gradually, I felt him relax in my arms. He seemed to resign himself to the situation, tucking one arm beneath his head as a pillow. Briefly, his fingers brushed my arm, the one holding him.
When I closed my eyes, the images lingered, but less vividly. I was surprised at how easily they faded in Hidans’ presence. We lay quietly for a while, until he began tracing patterns onto my forearm.
That was… nice.
I gave a low, contented hum, savoring the silence. Tomorrow, I would surely regret this. Normally, I kept myself in check, never let anything throw me so badly off balance. And I was certainly never this clingy. But I pushed the thought aside and let myself enjoy it.
"I thought you wanted normality."
My eyes opened instinctively, landing on the bare nape of his neck just before me. I hadn’t expected him to speak again—I thought he had already drifted back to sleep. Not that it was a realistic assumption, considering he was still stroking my arm.
I knew immediately what he meant. Perhaps that was why he had been distant these past days—because he thought it was what I wanted. It made sense that he now sought an explanation for my behavior, posing that indirect question.
What does this mean?
The truth was, I had only reached for him to escape my memories. He was a crutch to make me feel better, nothing more. Pure selfishness. My intention had never been to seek closeness or to mend things. And I should have had no problem letting him know that.
But now, with him so close that I could feel his heartbeat, I hated the thought that this was a one-time exception. I realized how much I had missed this in the past days. And I didn’t want to go without it again.
I tilted my head, lips brushing close to his ear. My breath touched his skin, and I felt him shiver in my arms.
"Maybe I’ve changed my mind."
A new morning broke, and as so often, I was the one to wake first.
A pleasant warmth surrounded me, which surprised me at first, then made me hum with satisfaction. When I opened my eyes, I realized why I hadn’t been met by the usual chill I’d expected—after all, we had spent the night under the open sky.
When I saw Hidan, I remembered what had happened during the night. Now, though, I felt deeply uncomfortable about it. I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about how I had clung to him, unable to help myself in any other way. Pathetic.
In his sleep, the silver-haired man had turned toward me, his face right in front of mine. He lay close, curled slightly, breathing warm air steadily against my collarbone. We were close. Too close.
As much as I had needed his nearness the night before, now it suffocated me. I felt crushed by it. At this moment, it was simply too much.
Hidan let out a low grumble when I shifted away from him.
I tried to pull free entirely, to shove aside the arm he had draped over me. But then his fingers suddenly tightened, holding me in place. I glanced down at him, only to meet his clear, steady gaze.
"Wait," he said softly. For someone who had only just woken, he seemed remarkably composed, his eyes far too clear.
After last night, it was strangely hard to look him in the eyes.
"Just stay here with me… a little longer."
My brows rose in surprise. I weighed it for a moment, unsure whether to give in, and in that hesitation failed to react. Mistaking my silence for consent, Hidan shifted, as if to draw me gently back down. But before he could, I broke free of my stillness, pulled away with a sharp huff, and sat up wordlessly. I had already shamed myself enough.
Hidan let out a disappointed groan.
"Wouldn’t have killed you," he muttered sulkily.
As we got ready, I tried to erase the events of the night from my mind. I forbade myself from letting the dream affect me too much and forced myself to carry on as usual. If I wasn’t careful, I’d get caught in that downward spiral again—the same one that had almost swallowed me whole before. What I had endured in that dungeon… it had nearly broken me back then. And I never wanted to reach that point again. My psyche had taken heavy damage, no longer as unshakable as it once was. That was why I had to keep face and quickly pull myself back together.
I couldn’t let anyone find out how much it had wrecked me.
All morning, I feared Hidan would bring up my behavior during the night. Did he suspect something? Now and then, he did give me strange sidelong glances, but he never asked. Probably because he already knew I would shut him down with lies or silence.
Yet within minutes, his thoughts seemed elsewhere. Whatever occupied his mind, it put him in unusually good spirits. I even caught him once, during breakfast, smiling absently to himself.
By the time the sun stood high, just past midday, we came upon a settlement—larger than any we had seen in days. As we walked along the uneven street, the eyes of the villagers immediately fixed on us. As soon as we passed by, people stopped what they were doing and stared after us. The silence that hung over the place only made the gawking more oppressive.
"What’s up with them?" Hidan muttered, puzzled. I could only shrug.
I couldn’t make sense of it either. We weren’t exactly an inconspicuous sight—we were used to drawing the occasional glance—but being stared at so blatantly was unusual. Strangely, their gazes weren’t hostile at all, more like bewildered and astonished.
he staring got under Hidans’ skin fast. He growled darkly, scowled back at them, and at last snapped.
"What the hell’s wrong with you hillbillies!" he shouted, grinding his teeth. "What are you staring at like idiots! Don’t you know how fucking rude that is!?"
He stormed toward the poor soul unlucky enough to stand nearest. The old woman flinched back, lowered her gaze, and went on sweeping the path with her gnarled broom. She stayed quiet, gave no explanation, though she kept sneaking glances up at Hidan. Her silence drove him nearly to rage—I knew exactly how much he hated being ignored. So I quickly stepped closer.
"Calm down, Hidan. This won’t get us anywhere." I placed a hand on his shoulder, ready to step in if he let his temper push him into something reckless. I didn’t care about the lives of these people, but the incident would be a waste of time.
With slight pressure, I urged him to keep walking.
"Yeah, but it pisses me off!" he snapped, shrugging my hand off. He shot the old woman one last murderous glare before turning away with a snort.
We moved on, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something very strange was going on here. Isolated or not, surely travelers must pass through from time to time.
"Oh. Oh! OH! Guests! I see guests!"
We had nearly reached the edge of the village when both Hidan and I turned our heads toward the voice. A somewhat eccentric man in traditional garb was hurrying excitedly through the garden of a tasteful but very run-down building, heading straight for us.
"Ha! You look like you could use some rest. Come in, come in, don’t be shy! Here you’ll be treated like kings, I promise you that!" The tall, thin man nodded eagerly, gesturing toward the building behind him. He beckoned for us to follow.
Raising my brows, I studied him more closely.
The few gray hairs still on his head were tied into a high ponytail. He smiled constantly, the deep lines around his eyes giving him a warm look. Still, something about him struck me as suspicious. That much friendliness, paired with such openness toward strangers, was more than odd. What did this guy want from us?
"You got screws loose or something? What the hell do you want, clown?" Hidan cut in, glaring.
The man, unfazed, chuckled.
"What I want from you? Oh, forgive me!" He bowed to us several times. "But shouldn’t it be more like—what you can expect from me, eh?" He waggled his brows meaningfully, then struck an awkward pose to showcase the building behind him. In reality, his act was just ridiculous.
I silently agreed with Hidan—the guy really was a clown.
"Welcome to our humble spa resort! Our house is famed for its mud baths and their healing effects. There’s nothing a soothing bath and proper treatment can’t cure! Heh-heh! Okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit there." He chuckled sheepishly. "But still, you’ll feel like new afterward! So come, come! I’ll prepare everything for you right away!"
"Mud baths?" Hidan repeated, disgusted, curling his lip. "Ew, you people soak in filth like that? Gross! Keep that crap away from me, old man! And anyway… after the welcome we just got, I’ve lost any interest in this dump. I’m not letting you talk me into more nonsense. So beat it!"
That finally seemed to puncture the old man’s enthusiasm. His shoulders slumped, and with a long sigh he scratched the bald back of his head in resignation.
"Argh!" he suddenly barked, slapping a fist into his palm. "They’ve been staring again, haven’t they? They know it’s bad for business!" Narrowing his eyes, he glared down the village street, as if scolding the villagers from afar.
"Heh," Hidan crossed his arms, grinning wide. "Those bastards are lucky I’m in a good mood today, or I’d show them what staring gets them. Hell, I still kinda feel like going back and butchering them for that insolence!"
I stayed silent but inwardly rolled my eyes at his complaint. As if he was any better—manners and decency were just as foreign to him.
The old man looked at Hidan in confusion before shaking his head and chuckling softly, patting him on the shoulder.
"Heh-heh! What a joker!" He beamed at my partner, who only frowned at the unexpected reaction and exchanged a glance with me. I too had expected something different—fear, shock, something—at hearing Hidan openly proclaim his love of killing. But apparently the man thought he was joking. Couldn’t have been more wrong.
Still smiling at Hidan, the old man finally shifted his gaze to me.
"You and your dark friend make quite the pair." He patted my shoulder lightly, but when I narrowed my eyes in warning, he quickly withdrew his hand.
"Enough," I grumbled. "We’re wasting our time here."
"Wait!" the man called after us as we turned to leave. "I’ll give you a special deal! Fifty percent off everything, just stay at least one night. You won’t regret it, I promise!"
Without pausing, I exchanged a glance with Hidan, who said aloud what we were both thinking:
"There’s something fishy about this guy wanting us to stay so badly."
"Agreed," I muttered back.
That settled it for us. The old man accepted it with visible disappointment, but his further attempts to lure us with discounts and offers failed. Finally, his mood turned. Frustrated, he cursed, hurled insults after us, and chased us away. Words like monster and that he’d be glad to see us devoured rang out behind us.
I didn’t even bother trying to make sense of his rant. Hidan didn’t either—he just hissed nutcase, made a gesture at his temple, and shrugged.
It began to rain as we entered a dense birch bog forest. The overgrown trail we had been following gradually faded away until we found ourselves deep in the woods, unable to follow any visible path. The birches rose up all around us, and because there was no shrubbery, little undergrowth, and the branches were high above, one could see nearly a mile into the surroundings.
The sky was streaked with gray clouds while the rain poured down mercilessly upon us. In no time we were soaked to the bone. The mossy ground beneath our feet grew even softer with the wet, more than it already was. Mud clung to our soles, and with every step it seemed as though my feet sank deeper into the mire. Since I had no desire to slip and end up in the muck, I set a slow pace. Even though it frustrated me greatly not to make any real progress.
"Man, don’t walk so fast!" Hidan complained behind me, sounding somewhat harried.
"If we walk any slower, we’ll run out of food before we reach the next village," I replied, unimpressed. We had failed to restock earlier. Granted, from the impression that village had given me, I hadn’t exactly been eager to get supplies there anyway. Besides, I had no idea what Hidan was even whining about—we were already walking at a snail’s pace.
"I don’t wanna starve either, but damn, if you keep rushing like this, I’ll end up flat on my face! This fucking weather is just unbearable! And all this dirt everywhere… what kind of shitty place is this?! If I’d known where you were dragging us, I might’ve thought twice about coming. Why do we even have to—"
I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes, wondering where his good mood had gone. I’d already stopped listening to him when suddenly a cry rang out behind me. Tensing, I spun around, fearing we were under attack and readying myself for battle. But when I saw what had happened, I dropped my guard and couldn’t help but smirk.
"Fuck!"
Hidan crouched in the mud, his face twisted with rage. Reflexively, he had caught his fall with his hands. Now, as he lifted them, his expression contorted further while he tried to shake the muck off his fingers in disgust. He looked down at himself in frustration before glaring at me.
"I told you! But you wouldn’t listen. This is all your fault!" he hissed furiously.
His accusations left me cold. After all, he was responsible for his own clumsiness. Hidan seemed to read my thoughts, because for a moment it looked as though he might lunge at me if I so much as dared to comment on his misery.
Instead, I contented myself with a smug grin. Thanks to the mask covering my face, it wasn’t visible from the outside. Which was just as well, otherwise he’d probably have attacked me. Provoking him wasn’t my intention, even if I was itching to tease him a little. But no—that would be impractical. We couldn’t afford more delays.
Cursing, Hidan got back to his feet. Once steady, he twisted his upper body to clap the mud off his backside.
"One stupid word out of your mouth and I’ll lose it and drag you down with me," he growled. "Bad enough that you’re grinning like the devil, I really don’t need your know-it-all comments on top of that. Thanks, Kakuzu, what a great teammate you are."
My grin faded.
How…?
"How do I know you’re laughing at me?" he voiced the very question I had just been asking myself. Hidan hadn’t even looked my way. So how had he noticed? Once he had straightened up, he caught up to me.
"I just know you by now," he shrugged. "And it’s not exactly a secret that you enjoy other people’s misfortune." He grinned smugly.
I snorted and was about to move on when a hand pressed against my chest.
"Hold up! From now on, I’m taking the lead." Hidan decided just like that, shoving past me. When he withdrew his hand, I looked down irritably at the dirty handprint he had left on my cloak.
Wordlessly, I followed, reluctantly letting him take the lead—for now.
"I don’t even get why you always have to be the one in front. I can do it just as well!" Hidan seemed to be enjoying his new role. He kept glancing back at me instead of paying attention to the path. Which he really should have. Because I noticed what we were heading toward in time.
"Hidan," I tried to warn him and stopped walking. But my partner just kept chattering away.
"Even if I’ve got no clue where we are right now… that doesn’t matter! As soon as we get to an intersection or something, just tell me which way to go and that’s it." Smugly, he shot me a look over his shoulder, not caring that I’d stopped. When his legs started sinking deeper into the mud, he jerked his head back forward again in annoyance.
"What the hell is this now?!" Instead of stopping and turning back, he angrily stomped a few steps further, only to sink even deeper. Eventually, he couldn’t move at all—the mire had reached his knees. When he realized there was no solid ground beneath, he cursed and began thrashing, probably trying to free his legs—which he had better do quickly, while he still could.
I had noticed the change in the soil earlier, sparing myself from stepping into this natural trap. Before us lay an oval patch where neither tree nor bush grew, resembling a small clearing. The earth there looked fresher, wetter, lighter in color, and was covered only by scattered leaves. At first glance the bog pit was hard to spot, but to a trained eye—or simply someone paying attention to the path—it was unmistakable.
I shook my head, thinking how typical it was for Hidan to stumble blindly right into it.
More swearing followed. With a sigh, I moved closer, judging how far I could safely approach without getting caught myself. Such a mud pit was no joke. Though in the worst case, I could always pull us out with my threads.
"Give me your hand." I reached out, but Hidan stubbornly rejected my help.
"I can do it myself." Growling, he stomped harder, cursing every time he sank deeper.
Arms crossed, I stood at the edge and watched for a while. Let him try—it wouldn’t get him far. I knew perfectly well that at the depth he was already in, it was nearly impossible to escape alone. Unless you knew the right technique. Which, I strongly doubted, he did.
"Stop thrashing. You’re just making it worse," I finally relented, unable to keep watching him flounder so hopelessly—doing everything wrong in the process.
"Thanks, I figured that out already!" he snapped back, now sunk almost to his hips. Then he tried using his arms, pressing against the sticky mass to push himself up. But all he achieved was sinking them too, instead of freeing his legs. Eventually, he was buried so deep that only his head and arms stuck out.
"Damn!" he cursed softly, finally stopping his struggles. Apparently admitting defeat, he looked at me, biting his lip. I stared back, arms still crossed, not moving an inch. Hidan seemed to know exactly what I wanted—and that I wouldn’t lift a finger until I got it.
He hesitated, clearly too proud at first to ask for my help after having rejected it so arrogantly earlier.
"Fine, you win! Now will you just get me the hell out of this pit?!" he growled, turning his face away in irritation.
I’d actually intended to let him stew a bit longer—the thought of him begging me had its appeal. But with a sigh, I took pity and stepped closer. Since he was out of my reach, I had to extend my arm. My hand detached from the rest of my arm, still connected by the threads I could lengthen at will, and easily reached him. Hidan grabbed it instantly, clutching tightly. Bit by bit, I pulled him free until at last the bog let him go with a loud plop. Because it happened so suddenly, he was hurled forward into me. I staggered slightly as he crashed into me. He clung to me briefly, pulling himself upright, and looked up at me with a twisted expression.
"Fuck, you’ve got no idea how cold that shit was. I feel like I just spent an hour in a damn freezer!" Shivering, he wrapped his arms around himself—his lips trembling, already tinged blue. The relentless rain and general chill didn’t help either. Being covered head to toe in mud, looking as though he’d bathed in it—well, he practically had—was suddenly the lesser issue.
"That’s your own fault."
Hidan only hissed in reply, then began, for the second time that day, brushing the muck off his clothes. At one point, he even reached inside his pants and dumped a clump of mud out, which only made me grimace. That it had gotten in that far had to be extremely unpleasant. Almost unconsciously, he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. When he straightened and looked at me again, he didn’t seem to realize he’d smeared dirt across his face.
"What?" he snapped irritably.
I just grunted, grabbed him roughly by the shoulders, and pulled him closer. He flinched slightly as I began cleaning his soiled face. I wiped his forehead, ran my thumb along his cheeks and the bridge of his nose to remove the splatters there. With the fine spots across his face, he almost looked freckled. His hair at the nape of his neck was dirty too, so I combed my fingers through to clear it. In this, the rain was helpful.
While I worked on him, I didn’t notice him staring at me wide-eyed.
"I didn’t know you could be… like this."
I froze mid-motion before quickly pulling my hands back. Glaring darkly at him, I felt caught off guard, and I didn’t like that feeling one bit.
"I don’t know what you mean," I growled gruffly.
"That doesn’t mean you should stop," he added quickly after I’d withdrawn so abruptly.
I didn’t know what to make of that, so I stayed silent. Hesitantly, I brought my hands back to his face, slowly brushing away the last few splatters.
"At least now you look halfway presentable again," I muttered, running my thumb across his chin.
Hidan smiled faintly, sending a strange flutter through my stomach. He never took his eyes off me, and the tension between us grew more palpable with every passing second. Only the sound of falling rain broke the silence as I studied his face a moment longer. With these calm features, Hidan looked so young. The strained, spiteful expression he usually wore made him seem much older. I suddenly realized I didn’t even know how old he really was.
One of those things that didn’t matter in Akatsuki.
I had always seen Hidan only as my partner. His background was irrelevant, of no concern to the organization. So it had been irrelevant to me as well. But now, for the first time, I saw the young man behind the mask of the foul-mouthed, fanatical killer. In another reality, would Hidan have lived a normal life? One without violence, suffering and death? A life where he grew up safely in his village? A life where he did something fulfilling? A normal life, where he longed for recognition and love?
A movement from Hidan pulled me from my thoughts.
Something flashed in his eyes—I couldn’t name it, but the flutter in my stomach intensified. His breath touched my mask—I couldn’t recall him ever being this close before.
"Hey…" he said softly, hesitantly, nibbling on his lower lip as he leaned even closer. "I… can I… I mean…"
A vague idea of where this was heading dawned on me.
He raised his hand, reaching for my mask, about to pull it from my face. But before he could, I grabbed his wrist.
"Hidan."
"Mh?"
"You stink."
For a moment, my partner just stared at me, crestfallen, before shoving me back indignantly. He hissed, scowling in offense. But that didn’t change the fact that I had only spoken the truth. Hidan reeked horribly.
"Thanks, I know that already!" he griped. "I don’t even want to think about what I was just bathing in, or I’ll puke! I don’t like walking around like this either, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now, got it?"
"Fair enough." Why was he even justifying himself?
I chuckled, shaking my head. Inwardly, I wondered if Hidan had really been about to do what I thought. Bold of him, to assume I would go along with something like that.
Hidan kept ranting, and I amused myself watching him. But then my grin faded instantly. Out of nowhere, a strange feeling crept over me. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but for some reason I was on edge. My instincts screamed; I couldn’t shake the sense of being watched.
Hidan carried on in the background, complaining about his state, making it impossible to focus.
"Quiet!" I ordered sharply.
But the younger man just snorted.
"The hell, I’m not gonna—"
I clamped a hand over his mouth before he could finish. Explaining would take too long. At first, he glared at me furiously, but when he saw me tense up, scanning the woods, it seemed to dawn on him that this was serious.
"Do you hear that?" I asked, removing my hand.
"I don’t hear anything," he said, frowning.
"That’s the point."
The rain had lessened somewhat, and aside from its patter, there was nothing but dead silence. Earlier, there had still been the occasional bird call, a frog croaking somewhere, the chirp of an insect. Now there was nothing. As if all living creatures had suddenly gone quiet.
Or fled.
All my senses sharpened as I tried to locate whoever was watching us. Minutes passed as I stared into the forest. Hidan seemed to follow my lead, not making a sound. But I couldn’t sense any foreign chakra, nor was there any sign of someone lurking.
Nothing.
Just as I was about to dismiss it as my imagination, a strange gurgling sound arose. The next moment Hidan cried out beside me, and when I spun around, I just caught sight of him being yanked up into the air by something.
Chapter 9: Fight
Summary:
Kakuzu reflects on his lifelong bond with fighting before he and Hidan face an unexpected, monstrous opponent. As the battle unfolds, strategy, instinct, and their volatile partnership are pushed to the limit.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Fight.
In life, there were things you could train yourself to do, and there were things you had to have in your blood. I had known since I was a child that I was born to fight.
Back then, I often wrestled with kids my age to test my strength, sneaked out of the village to practice with kunai in the woods. I followed my destiny, graduated from the academy, rose as a young man to the elite, and eventually counted mayself among the best shinobi Taki had ever produced. But I never rested on my success. Driven by ambition, I hardened my body, sharpened my senses, and trained my mind. Without knowing that one day I would use all of it to drench my path in blood.
Outcast and hunted, I quickly had to learn that only the victor came out of a fight alive. At first, I mourned the lives that were erased by my hand. They were only doing their duty, just as I always had—they were no different from me. Their faces haunted my dreams, their dead eyes robbed me of sleep. But over the years, my regret turned into resignation and finally into indifference. Killing no longer meant anything to me—it had become routine. Sometimes I even felt a shudder of excitement, a twisted satisfaction, when I saw the light fade from their eyes and life leave their body. And so life, death, and everything that came with it lost its meaning for me.
But no matter how things turned out, fighting had always been part of me. As a child, I fought for fun. As a young man, to prove myself. As a newly branded outlaw, to survive. And now I did it because it was what I was best at.
It was the only thing I had left. And that was neither good nor bad—it was simply enough.
It was big.
I had expected attackers, maybe a squad of a few men. Enemy shinobi, mercenaries, bandits, or just some rabble. But I had not expected an animal. If you could even call it that. Its size surpassed anything I had seen before, at least anything of natural origin. But whether it was nature’s whim or some failed experiment, what stood before us was an insect, a mantis easily over twenty feet tall.
At the sight of it, my mind instantly went to the Bijū—but the thing in front of us couldn’t possibly be one of them. I felt no chakra emanating from it, and I’d never heard of one taking the form of a mantis.
The creature’s enormous, unblinking eyes were fixed on Hidan as it snatched him up with one of its raptorial arms. He cursed loudly, caught in its grip as if by a vice. The longer part of the limb was lined with spikes, two of which drove deep into his abdomen. If the mantis squeezed tighter, it wasn’t unlikely that Hidan would be split in half, given the insect’s size and strength.
"Goddamn it, what kind of ugly thing is this?! Let me go, you piece of shit bug!" Hidan bellowed, twisting in disbelief over his shoulder at the towering insect. He thrashed wildly, trying to wriggle free. When that failed, he reached for his scythe—but since it was strapped to his back, it was trapped between him and the creature’s claw. It was stuck just as firmly as he was.
If he tried to yank it free by force, he’d probably injure himself in the process. And starting a fight already down a limb was something best avoided. Fortunately, even Hidan seemed to realize this, and instead turned to me for help.
"Damn it, Kakuzu, do something!"
I didn’t move, just watched the beast and analyzed its behavior, missing none of its movements. Its focus seemed entirely on Hidan, eyeing him with disturbing interest. Its jaws clicked hungrily, and I suspected it saw my partner as prey.
"Are you gonna get off your ass?! Kill it while it’s busy with me!" Hidan snapped, panic edging into his voice. He flinched back every time the mantis’s head came close, clearly unnerved. At one point it even caught some of his hair, making him yelp. Its jaws worked and its mandibles ground together, testing Hidan’s head as if to see whether he was edible.
"KAKUZU?!" Hidan roared furiously.
"Calm down. I’m thinking."
"What the hell is there to think about, huh?! Just kill it already!"
He clearly hadn’t noticed—while the creature seemed distracted, it was perfectly aware of my presence and the danger I posed. Earlier, I had shifted half a step, and its antennae had twitched immediately in response. Even if it wasn’t under anyone’s control and lacked higher intelligence, it still had instincts. It wasn’t acting aggressively yet, but if it felt threatened, it would fight back.
At least, that was my assumption—I usually dealt with human opponents, so I was not entirely certain.
If I struck carelessly, it might slice Hidan in two and then turn on me. That would actually be preferable, since I could reassemble him and finish the fight quickly. The other possibility was worse: that it might flee with its prey. I had no way of knowing how fast it was, or whether I could keep up.
Best case, I’d decapitate it before it even realized the threat. I just had to get closer unnoticed...
"You’re really gonna leave me to this thing, aren’t you?"
"Just another moment, Hidan."
"What moment?! Fuck, Kakuzu, I swear it’s about to eat me! I’ll be in pieces any second now!"
"You won’t. Relax. We still have time."
"Oh yeah? And how the hell would you know that?" he snapped.
He swung his arms wildly to fend it off, but the mantis caught hold of his cloak instead, tearing off a chunk of the collar. The fabric disappeared between its jaws, ground to shreds.
"Mantises tend to eat their prey alive*. Might just nibble on you a little first."
"Wow, thanks! That’s real comforting!"
I ignored his whining, focusing instead on my timing. My arm had already slid into the earth, my detached hand tunneling toward the mantis from below. As it surfaced near one of its legs, I decided to sever the limb holding Hidan. Even if something went wrong, it wouldn’t be able to run off with him.
Just as I hardened my hand, ready to slice, the creature clicked sharply and buzzed its wings. My gaze snapped to Hidan—and I saw why. My idiot partner had stabbed a kunai into its claw. In reaction, the mantis dropped him—fortunately whole—rather than snapping him in two.
"Ah, fuck!" he cursed as he hit the ground.
I swallowed my irritation for now. Why couldn’t he listen to me just once? I quickly recalled my hand, as the mantis, now agitated, reared up before us in full attack posture. Its arms lifted high, spreading wide to make it look even larger. Its wings beat furiously as it fixed on me. Apparently, I was the greater threat now.
It struck at me repeatedly, but I dodged each swipe, springing aside while it scuttled after me. Its speed was not to be underestimated—the air whistled with every swing of its claws. When I leapt back to gain distance, I immediately countered, sprinting straight at it.
It lashed out again, but I had been waiting for that. I let myself fall backward, sliding across the slick ground so its strike just barely missed. As I skidded beneath it, I released my arms, clamping onto its hind legs. My momentum yanked it off balance, and the mantis toppled forward.
In the next instant I vaulted into the air above it, hardened fist cocked back for the killing blow. Its vulnerable neck lay exposed before me.
"Fuck, watch out!" Hidan shouted.
Not sure what he meant, I aborted the strike and backed away instead. Had he seen something I hadn’t? A trap? A hidden danger? I studied the insect as it righted itself again but saw nothing unusual. The chance to finish it was gone.
"Hidan, you’d better have a good reason for stopping me," I growled, turning to him. He was only a few steps away, staring intently at his hand.
"It burns like hell," he hissed through clenched teeth. "It’s its blood... you’d better not get any on you."
I stepped closer to examine his hand. The back of it was coated in a greenish substance. Blisters had already formed; the skin was practically gone, flesh, muscle, and tendons exposed. The fluid continued to eat away at him, sizzling as it burned.
Hidan wasn’t exactly sensitive to pain—he shrugged off wounds most men would collapse from. The fact that this made him wince meant it was serious. And since I had no intention of letting my own flesh melt off my bones, I’d have to adjust my strategy.
"Where did it go?" Hidan suddenly asked.
I realized with a jolt that I’d taken my eyes off the creature for just one second and in that time, the mantis had vanished.
"Still nearby, no doubt," I replied.
We kept watch for the creature, scanning the surroundings back-to-back. When I heard Hidan draw his scythe, I snorted.
"Bad idea."
Every strike that left bloody cuts and wounds on the beast would, in turn, endanger us. Even if you were careful, in battle it was almost impossible (i)not(i) to get hit by flying sprays of blood. Especially against an opponent with short reach, who would inevitably seek close combat.
"I know, but how the hell else am I supposed to defend myself if it tries to eat me again?"
"Maybe don’t get caught in the first place," I grunted. My partner only grimaced at the veiled jab.
The forest remained silent, no trace of our enemy. And since it had no chakra, we couldn’t track it that way either. I wondered if it had retreated. On the other hand, it had shown far too little fear for that so far.
This was certainly not its first encounter with humans.
"Guess the damn thing ran off," Hidan muttered after a while, far too quick to let his guard down in my opinion.
"Should we just keep moving? No point in chasing after it…" When I didn’t respond, he sighed loudly.
"The beanpole’s already crawled into the next hole, you saw how it backed off. Works for me anyway, ‘cause I’m starting to freeze my ass off standing around in this shitty weather. Though I gotta say, the rain feels damn good on my hand. Probably washing the crap away and all." Hidan had already started walking off, turning back as he noticed I wasn’t following.
"Oi, you planning to take root there? Let’s go already." He waved me along, walking backward. Unsurprisingly, he bumped straight into a tree—served him right for not watching where he was going. Sometimes he really did remind me of a child.
Cursing, my partner spun around angrily and slammed his fist into the trunk.
"Where the hell did this come from, that wasn’t there a moment ago!"
It seemed he realized the same thing I did—that something was off with the tree—as he stared, baffled, at the strange-looking bark. Then the trunk suddenly shifted, changing shape, and Hidan jumped back in alarm.
The damned beast had disguised itself as a tree, using the natural structure of its body to lie in wait. With its long limbs, the coloration and veining of its shell resembling withered leaves, and its perfect stillness, it had looked almost indistinguishable from real wood.
Truly a master of camouflage.
After dodging the first swipe of its claw, Hidan charged recklessly at the creature with his scythe raised. I cursed him an idiot once again.
"Gahahahaha!! You’re finished now! Diiiie, you miserable bastard!" Hidan cackled like a madman as he spun the scythe over his head before bringing it down on the creature. But instead of cleaving its body, his scythe shattered against its surprisingly tough armor. His expression collapsed in disbelief, and in that split-second distraction, my partner was once again caught in its grasp.
Snatched by the leg, Hidan now dangled upside down in the air, his broken scythe lying lost in the mud beneath him. Gravity dragged his cloak over his face, which he kept angrily swatting aside.
"Why is it always me, goddammit!"
That was simple enough to answer—if I were the insect, I’d also have picked Hidan as the tastier catch.
"Haven’t you learned anything?" I snapped impatiently as I noticed him reaching for a kunai.
"What the fuck else am I supposed to do, huh?! This thing looks serious this time!"
He wasn’t wrong. The insect had lost all restraint, lifting Hidan over its head and opening its maw.
"For once in your life, just listen to me! Hold still!" I tore my cloak from my shoulders as the Lightning Mask rose from within me. Black tendrils spilled from my back, shaping themselves into the familiar form beside me, just as Hidan’s uneasy gaze flicked toward me. In the next instant, his head disappeared into the beast’s gullet.
Startled by the bizarre sight before me, I froze for a heartbeat. My partner slid deeper, grotesquely bulging the monster’s throat until only his sandals stuck out. Then he was gone, swallowed whole in one piece.
Snapping out of my daze—you didn’t exactly see a man swallowed alive every day—I leapt back against a tree, bracing myself on a branch. With Hidan now completely vanished, the Lightning Mask readied itself to attack.
My plan wasn’t the best, and Hidan wouldn’t like it—he’d bitch about it later—but there was no time to come up with something cleverer.
The mask forged chakra and unleashed Raiton: Gian in the form of a massive lightning bolt at the beast. It saw the strike coming but braced itself instead of dodging, puffing up once more as if intimidation were its only defense.
The insect shrieked as the blast hit head-on, paralyzing it momentarily. The air crackled, yellowish sparks dancing like a static field, spreading across the wet ground through rain and puddles. Unfortunately, the Raiton wasn’t enough to kill it—making me doubt yet again whether it was natural at all. Someone must have bred this thing in a lab.
Still, the attack had taken its toll. Staggering from the paralysis, it fought to rise, but its movements were stiff, slowed, its body hampered by the lingering electricity.
Silently, I commanded the Lightning Mask to continue—the beast couldn’t withstand this forever.
Its speed was clearly diminished; it couldn’t dodge the next strike, though it tried. Once more it screamed and collapsed as the lightning hit. I gave it no chance to recover—the mask fired blast after blast. The creature struggled pitifully, unable even to move anymore. With each strike, I forced it lower to the ground.
This wasn’t a battle anymore—it was torture.
Though I felt no pity, it was needless cruelty. But who could have guessed the creature would be so tough, surviving several of my attacks? By now, even Hidan had to be dead inside its gut, or at least unconscious. Unless the insect’s resilience came from some kind of genetic manipulation. Likely enough—its size surely wasn’t the only unnatural thing about it. Perhaps it even had a partial immunity to ninjutsu? Considering its shell, hard enough to shatter steel, I wouldn’t have been surprised.
A grim thought for my partner—because if that was true, then my attacks had only reached him in weakened form, making him suffer just as the insect did.
To my surprise, the mantis managed to break free of the vicious cycle. Even as lightning still crackled across its body, it launched a desperate counterattack. Screeching wildly, it lunged at me, claws swinging. I let go of the branch I had been clinging to and dropped, dodging the blows that smashed instead into the thick trunk. The thorns of its forelimbs sank deep into the wood, hooked fast, and stuck there.
I now stood beneath the beast, looking up as it struggled to free itself. Then it screeched again, ear-splitting, and in the next moment something dripped onto my shoulder.
I glanced up and saw the tip of a kunai protruding from the monster’s belly directly above me. Instantly I leapt aside, avoiding the worst of the blood that gushed down. Even so, my shoulder and neck began to burn fiercely. I grabbed at the spot, tried to wipe the substance away—bad idea, since it now spread onto my hand. But the pain was so unbearable my body acted on its own. The flare of anger at my idiotic partner only grew stronger.
"Why can’t you listen to me just once?!" I snarled furiously. But my partner had no ears for me now.
For he was in the process of tearing his way out of the beast from within. From the belly, between two plates of armor, Hidan’s arms burst outward like those of a drowning man breaking the surface. He screamed ceaselessly, his voice joining the creature’s in a duet. Forcing his torso free, he was drenched head to toe in green blood. Like some grotesque birth, he crawled out of the monster, which collapsed in agony, emitting only strangled wails before at last succumbing to a pitiful end.
Meanwhile, I had no better recourse than to try smearing mud on the burn at my shoulder. I pressed a handful against the wound, gaining only the faintest relief.
I clenched my teeth. Damn it, this was a bigger problem than I thought. My body reacted as though a limb had been severed—adrenaline surged, heat flooded through me, and weakness followed.
Water. Hidan had said it would help. Wash the wound.
Looking at my partner, I should have been grateful I’d caught only a little. But pity him? Hardly—it was Hidan’s fault we were in this mess to begin with. So it served him right that he was now screaming like a madman, convulsing and writhing uncontrollably on the ground. To his misfortune, he thrashed in a growing pool of blood—the green ichor still streaming from the dead beast and mixing with mud. But Hidan seemed so lost to the pain he noticed nothing around him.
I remembered the small pond we had passed and didn’t hesitate a second longer. Ignoring the agony in my hand, I seized Hidan by the arm and dragged him along, covering the short distance at a sprint.
At the pond, I hurled him into the filthy water and plunged in after, submerging my burned shoulder in the shallows. The hellish burning ebbed to a tolerable level as I rinsed the wound long and thoroughly. I would need to clean it later with fresh water—mosquitoes and vermin swarmed here, and the murky, foul-smelling pool surely teemed with bacteria.
When I finally ran a hand over the injury, I felt deep pits and craters where flesh and skin had begun to dissolve. My right hand, though exposed for less time, was badly reddened, the skin tight and raw like a half-cooked sausage.
Hidan, meanwhile, flailed in the knee-deep water like a fish on dry land, screaming his lungs out, only stoking my fury further. It wasn’t enough he had botched the fight—now he was grating on my ears as well.
He needed to shut up.
I waded to him, seized his cloak to spin him toward me. He flailed wildly, forcing me to dodge his erratic blows. Only then did I realize how badly he’d been hit.
His eyes bulged wide, one so grotesquely swollen it looked ready to pop from his skull. A second later I saw why—his eyelid was gone entirely. And not only that. Half his face was eaten away, muscle fibers and sinew exposed. His nose was gone, nothing but a black hole left. He was bald in patches, bone showing through at his scalp. His cheek was gone too, a pitiful lattice of tissue strands stretched over bared teeth. The rest of his body fared little better.
It was a miracle he was even conscious.
His hand—eaten down to bare bone—shot upward as I grabbed what was left of his cloak and forced him underwater. His screams cut off, replaced by bubbling, splashing. Instincts still lingered, for he fought back. The feel of raw bone scraping my skin as he tried to wrench my hand away twisted my face with disgust. By now the water around him had turned a reddish-brown soup, flecked with scraps of fabric and flesh.
He kicked me in the side, bubbles rising to the surface, until at last I pulled him up for air. I repeated it a few times—plunging him under, then letting him breathe again. But calm never came. After the fourth round, hacking up water, he raged just as before.
The sight of him grew worse still—he looked more and more like a mangled corpse. Though I had seen worse over the years, his condition was still shocking.
I wrapped both hands around his neck, feeling expertly for the base. His gaze—panicked, terrified—locked on me, perhaps the first time he actually saw me, as though aware at last. I could only imagine the horror he was trapped in. With a swift motion, bone cracked beneath my fingers, and Hidan’s body went limp.
At last, silence.
I let him slip back into the water and rose. Rain had grown heavy again, thick drops falling and clouding my vision. My eyes fell on the Lightning Mask, crouched at the pond’s edge, faithfully awaiting my next command. Beside it lay Hidan’s scythe—or what was left of it. The mask must have retrieved it, though I hadn’t told it to.
When I looked back down at my partner, wondering whether I would now have to carry his sorry ass, I noticed something. I had already found it strange, how he had kept his left hand clenched tight even in his delirium. He had thrashed, struck out wildly, but never opened it. Now I saw why. Bending down, I pried the object from his decomposed fingers.
It was his pendant.
He must have torn it from his neck and shielding it from the acid with his own body.
Notes:
* This was bent to fit and isn’t entirely accurate. Female mantises usually devour the males after—or even during—mating. As for regular prey, Wikipedia didn’t provide much detail. I assume dead or alive, as long as it’s food.
Ruollan on Chapter 1 Tue 05 Aug 2025 08:02PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 1 Thu 14 Aug 2025 12:40AM UTC
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Koethe on Chapter 1 Wed 27 Aug 2025 05:17PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 1 Thu 28 Aug 2025 09:04PM UTC
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Ruollan on Chapter 2 Tue 05 Aug 2025 08:13PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 2 Thu 14 Aug 2025 12:42AM UTC
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Koethe on Chapter 2 Wed 27 Aug 2025 06:02PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 2 Fri 29 Aug 2025 01:43AM UTC
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Makkoska on Chapter 4 Fri 08 Aug 2025 08:31PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 4 Thu 14 Aug 2025 12:56AM UTC
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Koethe on Chapter 4 Wed 27 Aug 2025 07:41PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 4 Fri 29 Aug 2025 02:02AM UTC
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Rei (Guest) on Chapter 5 Thu 14 Aug 2025 01:09PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 5 Sun 31 Aug 2025 02:07PM UTC
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Koethe on Chapter 5 Wed 27 Aug 2025 10:13PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 5 Sun 31 Aug 2025 05:16PM UTC
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Koethe on Chapter 5 Sun 31 Aug 2025 06:18PM UTC
Last Edited Sun 31 Aug 2025 06:19PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 5 Sun 31 Aug 2025 11:32PM UTC
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Koethe on Chapter 6 Wed 27 Aug 2025 11:46PM UTC
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raqz (Guest) on Chapter 7 Wed 27 Aug 2025 06:15PM UTC
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hYdrotoxin on Chapter 7 Sun 31 Aug 2025 11:25PM UTC
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Koethe on Chapter 8 Tue 02 Sep 2025 10:53PM UTC
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