Chapter Text
Throughout the day, a lingering, persistent headache had done its best to plague Ratio, throbbing behind his eyes and pounding against the inside of his skull. This was, even more annoyingly, accompanied by a mental fog that clouded his every thought, often losing track of what he’d been thinking, finding himself distracted whenever he tried to read, typing the same sentences over again by accident, and dropping things constantly, having broken two cups this morning when he’d dragged himself out of bed.
It must be a cold of some sort, he’d reasoned, hence why he’d taken cold medicine alongside his usual heat suppressant that morning. He’d made sure that, like the suppressant itself, the cold medicine had been of a strong variety. Yet nonetheless, his foggy, distracted state remained, and he felt feverish and sweaty, his face always slightly flushed whenever he glimpsed it in the mirror, though he ensured to always wear his headpiece around others so they didn’t notice.
Perhaps he should seek a professional medical check-up, Ratio wondered, though immediately vetoed that idea, because he knew they’d ask about the suppressants, as he himself knew he should take breaks and only use ones of his usual strength in emergencies, but he’d used them for years and been fine, so it hardly mattered. After how terrible his first heat had felt, he’d been determined to never have one again, and nothing could change his mind. That was it.
His students had likely given him some sort of illness- it had happened before, and so reasonably, that must be what it was. His symptoms felt rather flu like, after all. And so, even though his symptoms remained for over a week, and never improved, Ratio continued to work, occasionally considering the cause of his illness, before returning to whatever he’d been doing.
As he walked through the halls, carrying a few books in his arms, he felt a sudden sharp pang in his stomach, a shiver shooting along his spine so violently that the books fell from his arms and bounced across the floor. His legs shook; he stared at the books willing his body to move, reassured at least that hardly anyone else was in the building, and that no one had seen him act so clumsy.
Bending down to pick up the books, he felt an awful throb between his legs, his underwear uncomfortably brushing against his cunt, the fabric suddenly more noticeable in a way it wasn’t usually. Shakily scooping the books back into his arms, he rose slowly, telling himself that he’d merely bent in an awkward way, and that nothing could be wrong. However, though tremors wracked his frame, he hastened his steps, ignoring his pounding, frantic heartrate and the headache that still persisted.
It felt like it took far too long to reach his office, sweating and shaking the whole time until he could shove the door open, dumping the books atop his paperwork and sighing heavily as he braced his hands against the desk. Briefly he caught sight of his flushed face and dilated pupils in the reflection of a metal ornament atop the desk, sharply averting his gaze from it as he tried to gather his ragged breathing. Yet as he did so, a cold, dreadful realisation crept through him, unable to ignore a certain sensation.
An uncomfortable wetness seeped through his pants, staining the fabric as slick gushed from him, soaking his underwear and trickling down his legs. He swallowed thickly, digging his nails further into the desk’s woodwork, unable to quell the unsteady breathes that left him, screwing his eyes shut and willing away the hotness that struck his body.
Heat- that was undeniably what it was. He was entering heat- but that shouldn’t be possible, he’d done everything he could to stop this from ever happening again. Trying to gather his breathing, he wondered if taking double the usual suppressants would work- he had too much to do, things that needed attention, he didn’t need to waste his time with a heat, not to mention how uncomfortable they could be.
Yet the moment he stepped away from the desk, his knees buckled, and he collapsed, his legs shaking, as though his whole body were a gelatinous, wobbly mess, his form completely incapable of stabilising as he trembled, a pool of slick steadily leaking from him and forming a growing puddle on the floor. At the sensation, he screwed his eyes shut, unwilling to see the mess, though he felt it seep into his clothes, a deep ache spreading through his lower half, his cunt throbbing and uncomfortably empty.
With his eyes closed, he tried to recall how to breathe, slowly soothing it with deliberate breathing exercises, counting as he did so. He needed to think rationally, and get himself home. However, he also couldn’t risk letting anyone see him in such a state, the mortification too much to bear.
His first heat was like this- sudden and unexpected. It became the very reason he’d sworn to never experience a heat again. It had happened in his early teenage years, during the course of his studies- in class, he’d felt a sudden wetness between his legs, jolting and jumping up on instinct at the feel of it, inadvertently drawing others attention.
On reflection, he knew he should not be upset for the way his younger self had panicked, but it never failed to make him grimace when he recalled the way he’d seen the wet spot on his pants, and insisted when eyes turned to him that he hadn’t wet himself, only to draw snorts of laughter from his classmates. Of course, he recalled the laughter and their stares too well, grateful even now that another classmate who was an omega escorted him away, explaining to him what had happened as Ratio calmed himself and understood the situation.
That heat had been any years ago now, though he still remembered the uncomfortable, feverish sensation, his body sweaty and gross, ruining his clothes, and making him feel sick enough that he’d risked getting behind on his studies for a few days. And now, after all these years, after trying to ensure it wouldn’t happen again, it had struck once more, and now he felt as strangely and irritatingly helpless as he had back then.
Another violent shiver wracked his frame, and he gasped aloud, bracing himself against it, trying to resist the urge to curl into a ball, for that was too undignified, and would only worsen his growing frustration and embarrassment. Yet no matter how he tried to endure the sensations, his body only continued to shudder. He knew he’d have to reluctantly ask for help, and only one name instantly came to mind.
As embarrassing as it still was, he knew he had to call, reaching into his pocket for his phone, fumbling with it as his shaking fingers threatened to drop it to the floor. Staring at his phone, he waited with a futile hope to see if his body would calm itself, only for another pang of arousal to strike him, catching a brief sight of the dampness between his legs and immediately grimacing, weakly pulling at his clothes in an attempt to hide it as best he could.
Finally, with a colossal, reluctant sigh, he called Aventurine, both hoping he would and wouldn’t answer. Of course, as he often did, Aventurine answered fairly quickly, greeting him, though Ratio hardly heard what he said, his mind too foggy to focus as he stared almost uncomprehending at his phone screen.
‘Hey, doc, is something wrong? Did you mean to call me?’ Aventurine asked, which momentarily snapped Ratio from the daze of his thoughts, in case his silence made Aventurine hang up.
‘I don’t know…’ Ratio said, unsure which question of Aventurine’s he’d answered, perhaps both or neither. However, annoyed by his own unsatisfactory answer, he let out a deep sigh. ‘I… I need your help with something- I’m in my office and- and I need to get home…’
Aventurine evidently paused in thought, and when he next spoke, he didn’t sound as teasing as Ratio usually expected from him. ‘Ratio, are you hurt? Your voice sounds really… shaky. I’ll come and get you of course, but you have to tell me if you’re hurt or not, otherwise-’
As Aventurine spoke, Ratio shuddered again, dropping his phone with a clatter, biting back a sound that threatened to leave him, one hand still reaching upwards to grasp onto the desk, still so close to falling off at any moment. Weakly, he grasped for his phone again, hearing something that sounded like panic from the other side. ‘I’m- not injured,’ Ratio begun, frustrated by the breathy quality of his own voice as he tried to speak again, only for Aventurine to interrupt him.
‘Where are you? Your office, right?’ Aventurine spoke firmly, and Ratio heard the sound of him moving, likely starting to walk. ‘I’m coming right away- hold on tight, Ratio, I’ll be there as quick as I can.’
If he didn’t feel so wretched, he’d tell Aventurine not to drive too recklessly, though as he felt now, he couldn’t get the words out, ending the call without speaking again, for it felt like too much effort. Again, he resisted the urge to lay down, staying half knelt in front of his desk, his back to the door, wishing he’d at least been fast enough earlier to sit himself down in his chair, as now he didn’t want to walk, and nor did he have the energy.
The whole time he waited, he felt gradually more feverish, squirming uncomfortably, his clothes sweaty and damp, the feeling more and more gross the longer he sat there, still inwardly trying to motivate himself to get up and leave by himself, telling himself that he could push past the overwhelming sensations. Yet to no avail; he remained as he was, shuddering and swallowing whiny sounds, inwardly fighting with his own mind no matter how it fogged with arousal, unwilling to give in to the desire to be fucked, bred and knotted.
When the door finally flung open with a sharp sound, Ratio jolted, but did not lift his head or look, remaining silent at the noise of surprise Aventurine let out. He only looked up when a hand clamped against his shoulder, the sound of Aventurine dropping to the floor beside him catching his attention, looking just enough to see Aventurine’s concerned expression, the sight surprising him so much that he immediately lowered his head again.
‘What happened?’ Aventurine asked, his tone firm and demanding, only making Ratio shiver, to which Aventurine lowered his tone and asked again. ‘Ratio, are you okay? What happened? If someone hurt you, then-’
‘No, no one hurt me,’ Ratio quickly interrupted, speaking frantically as he tried to decide what to say, unsure how to even explain it. ‘I’m- I’m fine, it’s just-’
‘You’re not fine,’ Aventurine interjected, his voice firm again. ‘Are you sick? Is that it? You’re so flushed… you must have a fever…’ When Aventurine reached out to touch a gloved hand to his cheek, Ratio had to bite back a moan, though Aventurine paid it no mind, inspecting his expression. ‘Hey, turn and look at me, please? You seem… unfocused, let me see your eyes-’
Ratio shook his head, wishing Aventurine would stop asking questions and just help him out of the building and to his car, then drive him home- though reasonably, he knew if he found someone in this state, he’d ask questions, too.
‘No, no, come on, have a little mercy on me and look at me,’ Aventurine continued, trying to sound teasing, though Ratio heard the strain to his voice. When Ratio didn’t turn his face, Aventurine crept closer, his knees brushing against Ratio’s. ‘I know you don’t want to- but try not to be so stubborn, okay? I just want to… help…’ Aventurine trailed off, and Ratio peeked at him just in time to see Aventurine look down as he knelt in the puddle, drawing back to see the wet spot on his knee, looking at it in confusion before resting a hand on Ratio’s trembling thigh, parting it briefly. ‘Oh. You’re…’
‘It’s- it’s not…’ Ratio trailed off, clamping his thighs shut again, staring at the floor, anywhere but Aventurine. ‘Just… get me home. I hate… to ask this favour of you, I hate that I require help at all- and I assure you I’ll… I’ll make it up to you somehow. However, just… I need to go home.’
‘It’s slick, isn’t it?’ Aventurine murmured, placing a hand on his shoulder, his touch tentative and tender in a way that made Ratio swallow a whine. ‘So, you’re an omega… What, did you think that would bother me? Never. You’re still the same to me. Unexpected heats happen sometimes, it’s okay, I’ll help you. And don’t you dare try to repay me, alright? Now, hold onto me, I’ll get you to my car.’
Aventurine had said almost too many words for him to process, yet he tried to focus on what he’d said as Aventurine supported his body, helping him stand on his legs, a mix of embarrassment and gratitude overcoming him. ‘Aventurine, thank you, I-’
‘If there’s anything you’ve forgotten here, I can pick it up later,’ Aventurine cut off his gratitude, watching him carefully as he kept Ratio’s arm slung over his shoulder, and his own arms around Ratio’s waist, steadying him whenever he wobbled. ‘Don’t focus on anything else- just focus on walking, I’ll get you home and safe, no one else is getting near you.’
He shuddered from that, part of him inwardly delighted by Aventurine’s words, for he knew Aventurine was an alpha, and that he could knot him- perhaps if Ratio begged enough, he’d get what he wanted. Though Aventurine, like himself, often wore scent blockers to mask himself, he made no true attempt to fully hide his designation, and on occasion, Ratio had smelt his musky pheromones, wishing he could savour them now, as close as he was, if not for the stupid scent blocker on Aventurine’s neck-
‘Focus on walking,’ Aventurine said again, for Ratio had stopped, distracted by his own thoughts, staring at the floor as he felt himself grower wetter again. ‘Are you alright? Oh, and… you don’t have to answer, but did you not… have any symptoms? Or did it come on suddenly for you? Well, thinking about it, it’s not like I know much about what your heats are usually like…’
To be fair, Ratio also did not know what his heats were meant to be like. So, of course, he did not answer, choosing to continue walking, feeling it far easier now that Aventurine walked beside him, and knowing that he’d at least be able to get home now. As Aventurine said, he tried to focus on walking, ignoring his thudding heartbeat, and the warm feel of Aventurine’s hands on him, squirming in his hold, biting back sounds at every soothing word Aventurine gave him.
When outside, the fresh air made him shiver, though he didn’t savour it for long, as Aventurine quickly managed to get him seated in his car, doing up the seatbelt for Ratio without even being asked. Now that he was seated and didn’t have to focus on walking, he felt his mind race and pulse, unable to grasp the tattered threads of thought and latch onto any specific idea.
Instead, as Aventurine begun to drive, Ratio leant forward to fold his arms against the dashboard, burying his face in the crook of his arms to hide himself, his face burning at the way he couldn’t help but rub his thighs together, trying to get any stimulation, the aircon doing little to cool his feverish skin. Though he couldn’t tell how long Aventurine had been driving, he knew that the longer he sat there, the wetter he got, undoubtably soaking the seat beneath him.
‘Aventurine, I’m… I apologise,’ Ratio begun, turning his face slightly to see Aventurine calmly driving, though his gaze drifted to Ratio. ‘The mess… I’m making…. I’ll make sure to- to pay you for any cleaning the car requires-’
‘No, no, I already said, you don’t owe me anything. Besides, I’m almost offended, doc- do you really think I can’t afford to clean my own car?’
‘It’s just… it’s gross…’ Ratio murmured, hiding his face again and letting out a deep sigh. ‘Once again, I can only apologise for… for the awful mess-’
‘Not gross,’ Aventurine interrupted, and when Ratio looked to him, he seemed as calm as before, though he’d tightened his grip on the wheel. ‘It’s not gross. As smart as you are, you must know this is completely natural. Would you get upset at someone else, if you were me in this situation? I know you wouldn’t- not really. You might feign annoyance sometimes, but you’re too kind. So be kind to yourself today, alright? No need to apologise to me for anything.’
Ratio said nothing more to that, still wishing to argue, though seeing how unbothered Aventurine seemed, he knew any argument would be dismissed. Perhaps Aventurine truly didn’t care, or perhaps he only wanted to spare Ratio’s feelings. Either way, he remained as silent as he could, trying to focus on other thoughts, reminding himself about things he had to do at work, and not focusing on how dripping wet he felt.
‘Are you okay? If you need help… there’s no shame in asking. I can pull over and finger you in the backseat, if that’ll make you feel better.’
He felt himself leak further, swallowing a whine, because yes- yes, he wanted that so terribly. But instead, he shook his head, clamping his thighs tighter together as if that hid how aroused he was. ‘No- just… just get me home, I don’t- I can’t-’
‘Okay, okay- we’re almost there, just tell me if it’s too much.’ After that, Aventurine said nothing else, though Ratio felt his stare on him the whole time, likely watching him more than the road, though that comforted him in a strange way, knowing Aventurine felt concern for him.
Still, sitting so close to Aventurine didn’t help, only muddling his mind, making it increasingly difficult to focus, his thoughts hazy, caught between begging Aventurine for any kind of stimulation, and keeping himself as quiet as possible to minimise his embarrassment. Either way, he couldn’t fully hold back the frustrated little sounds that left him, or the way he tried to curl in on himself from the deep ache inside of him.
He didn’t even notice when the car stopped, or when Aventurine got out, only flinching when the door on his side opened, and Aventurine’s hands were quickly unbuckling his seatbelt. Through the fog of arousal, he watched Aventurine’s focused expression as he placed his arms around Ratio, essentially pulling him out of the seat. Seeing the pool of slick on the seat, Aventurine swore under his breath, and as close as they were, Ratio felt the way he shuddered, his grip tightening on Ratio, inadvertently holding him closer.
‘We’re- we’re at your place,’ Aventurine said, slightly breathless. Though hearing that quality to his own voice, he quickly corrected it. ‘Just lean on me, it’s okay-’ Whenever Ratio wobbled, he held him tighter. ‘Hey- your keys, where are they? In your bag? Or your pocket?’
‘I don’t-’ Ratio paused, trying to think, forgetting Aventurine had even brought his bag with him, failing to notice when Aventurine had taken it from his office, or the fact Aventurine was already looking inside, flipping past a wad of papers to pry a key from a hidden pocket.
‘There, I found it, don’t worry.’ Aventurine tried to sound calm, though Ratio still heard the strain to his voice, wondering if he’d leant too heavily on Aventurine, or if he struggled to hold him upright, for Ratio could barely do so by himself- yet before his concerns became tangible thoughts, Aventurine had opened the door, quickly ushering him inside.
He’d thought being within his own home would comfort him, yet he still felt stressed, arousal prickling at him, an awful hot and heavy sensation that spread through him in waves. The only thought that made him feel semi-lucid was that being home meant he could get his suppressants. Even if they’d failed, taking another one might help- it might make this all go away.
Shaking Aventurine’s arms away from him, he leant against the wall for a moment, managing to force his legs to walk, ignoring the pangs of arousal that struck him, and ignoring the way Aventurine called his name, set on reaching his bathroom. Nothing else mattered- he had to make this go away.
The moment he shoved open the bathroom door, he scrambled to open the cupboard, pulling out his pack of suppressants, accidentally dropping them in the sink when he felt a hand on his shoulder, flinching then shuddering. Looking over his shoulder, he found Aventurine watching him again, while he braced his own hands on the sink.
‘If you wanted those, I could’ve gotten them for you,’ Aventurine said, trying to pull him away. ‘You need to lay down, okay? Here- let me sort it-’ Aventurine reached into the sink, pulling out the pack of suppressants, yet as he did so, he frowned, reading the prescription. ‘Hey, doc, this is a really heavy dose- is this… is this what you use all the time?’
‘So what if it is?’ Ratio snapped back, sighing loudly. ‘I just- I need to take them-’
‘But have you taken one already today?’ Aventurine asked, taking a step back as he studied the box, opening it to inspect the contents, finding it almost empty. Then, he checked the date of the prescription, his frown deepening. ‘You… use these all the time, don’t you?’
‘It- it doesn’t matter-’ He weakly tried to snatch them form Aventurine’s grasp, though Aventurine merely stepped further away, leaving Ratio leaning against the sink and watching him, his panic and frustration rising. ‘Just give them back- you have no reason to interfere.’
‘Ratio, come on, use that intelligence of yours to figure out why it’s a bad idea to take yet another dose,’ Aventurine replied, fixing him with a pointed stare. ‘You know everyone has to take breaks with suppressants. But you don’t, do you? You don’t take a break, and you keep using them… So, come on, Doctor, tell me why someone as smart as you would do such a stupid thing as that. You know how reckless to your health it is to use suppressants all the time-’
‘How- ironic that you, of all people, are daring to tell me off for reckless behaviour,’ Ratio begun, his words spoken through gritted teeth, ‘the sheer audacity of it-’
‘You can’t take any more, you’ve been overdosing yourself,’ Aventurine said firmly, giving another disapproving glare at the pack of suppressants before pocketing them. ‘I’m sorry, Ratio. I’m so, so sorry, but I can’t let you take these, you’ll make it worse.’
Of course, he’d always known the risks, a nearly endless list of symptoms associated with this- the hormonal changes alone from overusing suppressants should be enough to ward most people away from using them, and he knew deep down that was why he’d had this sudden heat, that he’d overworked his body and sent his hormones spiralling out of control. But he still didn’t want to experience another heat, hoping that perhaps Aventurine could be reasoned with.
‘I… understand your concern, but it’s unwarranted- give me back my suppressants.’ Ratio held out his hand, glaring at Aventurine when he did not move. Then, another intense shudder struck him, and he felt as though he’d fall over. ‘Aventurine, please, just- I can’t… I need to- to make this stop-’
‘Ratio, you’ve… put me in a difficult position here,’ Aventurine murmured to himself, watching as Ratio struggled to stand. ‘Let’s get you to lay down in bed, you need to get comfortable.’ Aventurine stepped forward again, placing his hands on Ratio’s shoulders, sighing when Ratio’s hands tried and failed to reach inside his pockets. ‘You can hate me all you like later; I can’t stop you- but you’ll only make yourself sick if you take any more suppressants… and we both know you’re aware of that.’
‘That’s not-’ Yet he couldn’t deny it wasn’t true, for he knew it was, he knew Aventurine was completely right, his mind torn between resignation, reluctant acceptance, or arguing- finding that just as he’d resolved to complain, he realised belatedly that Aventurine had already started to sit hm down on the bed. His mind reeling, he couldn’t comprehend how or when they’d already gotten here, still dazed as Aventurine helped him to lay down, ensuring Ratio’s head rested against the pillow.
‘There, that should be a little better,’ Aventurine soothed, pulling his hands away when Ratio begun to tremble again. ‘I’ll make sure to get you some food and drink, then place it on the bedside table. Now, do you… do you have anyone I can call? Any sort of… partner? Someone who usually helps you with your heats?’
Ratio shook his head, turning to bury his face in the pillow. ‘No- there’s… there’s no one. I’ve never… spent a heat with someone… and I wouldn’t- want you to call anyone- just leave.’
Aventurine seemed to purposefully ignore that last part, humming to himself in thought. ‘I see, so that’s how it is. Alright, then- so, where are your toys? I’ll get them out for you-’
‘What are you- talking about?’ Ratio turned enough to glare at him, gradually turning on his side and curling his body, his hands weakly grasping at the sheets as another shudder ran through him. ‘I don’t know- what you mean… by that…’
‘Your sex toys,’ Aventurine said plainly, laughing a little at the incredulous sound Ratio made, ‘Oh, I think we’re beyond the point of caring about formalities or whatever- it’s fine, I don’t mind getting them for you. Just tell me where you keep them.’
‘I- I don’t…’ Ratio mumbled, turning his face again to hide, more embarrassed by the reality now that Aventurine stared at him so expectantly, as if this were completely normal.
‘It’s okay- you must have some you usually use, right? If you tell me where you keep them, then-’
‘You… you misunderstand,’ Ratio begun, sighing to himself, ‘I don’t… I don’t currently own any…’
‘Oh…’ Aventurine paused for a long moment, evidentially processing that, ‘Really? None at all? Are your heats… not usually like this? Well, even if you didn’t have heats too often, I still thought…’ Again, Aventurine paused, and Ratio knew him well enough to know a thought had struck him, something that Aventurine now lingered on, and even though he did not see Aventurine’s face, he knew he watched him carefully. ‘Ratio… when was your last heat, anyway?’
Deliberately, Ratio did not answer that, curling in on himself further and pulling at the sheets in a futile attempt to cover himself, making a faint noise of complaint when he felt Aventurine’s fingers at his neck, delicately removing the scent blocker that Ratio still had in place. Knowing his own scent must be stronger now, permeating through the room, Ratio buried his nose in the pillow, not wanting to know what he smelt like as his body continued to shake, willing this to end even though he knew it wouldn’t.
Aventurine made a stunned, little noise of surprise at the scent, then stayed silent for what felt like an eternity as Ratio continued to tremble, having been quiet for long enough that when he next spoke, Ratio flinched at the sound of his voice. ‘Oh, Ratio… your scent… it’s nothing but distress and panic- do you… really hate having heats that much?’
‘Yes…’ Ratio murmured, shifting his body, trying and failing to get comfortable, his clothes still uncomfortably damp, yet he had neither the care nor energy to get up and change currently. ‘I- I need this to stop… I cannot stand… having heats- I simply abhor them, so that’s why I- I need those suppressants, so please- give them back now, I can’t- can’t take this-’
As Ratio’s words quickened and rose with urgency, Aventurine soon interrupted. ‘I know, I know- it’s okay, but you know I can’t give-’
‘You could,’ Ratio gritted out, moving enough to sit half upright, glaring back at Aventurine. ‘You could just- just give them-’
‘When was your last heat?’ Aventurine repeated his earlier question, infuriatingly calm, while Ratio’s mind fought between arousal and annoyance, trying not to rub against the sheets or reach a hand into his pants while Aventurine was still here, watching him so attentively. ‘How many heats have you had, Ratio?’
Again, Ratio sighed, hoping the sound conveyed his every ounce of frustration. ‘Just one. That was… enough. I never… I have done… my upmost to avoid it and-’ He had to bite his lip to stifle a sound, turning again to hide his face, not wanting Aventurine to see whatever pathetic expression he felt to be there. ‘Please- I... I can’t…’
The bed dipped beside him, and he felt a hand reach out to grasp for his shoulder, a comforting weight that only made his body heat further. ‘Can you tell me what happened? Or is that too much? You’re shaking…’
He wasn’t sure what he wanted, unsure what to say or think, a myriad of potential possibilities flashing through his mind, half debating whether he wanted to speak, tell Aventurine to leave, or beg him for any sort of touch, the ache between his legs almost unbearable, and he knew Aventurine could help, that he could knot him and make this better, that maybe if Ratio pleaded enough, he’d-
With the last of his rational mind, he dismissed that thought, still debating what to do for a long while as Aventurine sat beside him, his hand never leaving his shoulder. Could he trust Aventurine? He felt he could- that perhaps there was no one he trusted more than him, as difficult as that was to admit, that for all Aventurine seemed on the surface, Ratio knew Aventurine respected him, always asking his opinion and seeking his company. Perhaps speaking would stop his thoughts spiralling, as he continued to shake, trying to steady his breathing so that the panic stirring within subsided.
‘I… I’ll tell you,’ Ratio finally said, unable to hide the frustration ins his tone. ‘But… promise not to laugh, I know it’s…’ He sighed, trailing off, unsure of how to end that sentence, knowing to many that his one bad experience as a teenager wouldn’t be enough reason to take suppressants or dislike heats. Either way, he sensed from Aventurine’s expectant stare that he would not leave or even look away until Ratio told him everything- and so, as difficult as it felt to organise his words, and though he occasionally had to pause speaking, he told Aventurine the gist of what happened.
Aventurine listened, adding nothing, and only when Ratio finished speaking did he finally speak himself. ‘Why would I laugh at that? If I ever find out who those people were who made you feel like that… Well, doc, I don’t think I could be… responsible for my actions. Incidentally, do you remember who they were? Or what class it was- a little research could give me a list of names-’
‘Don’t- say such stupid things- obviously there’s no point in-’ Ratio shuddered again, cutting himself off, his head beginning to hurt again, his mind filling with thoughts he wished it wouldn’t, having to cling to the sheets, for he knew if he didn’t, he’d grab for Aventurine instead. Yet as Aventurine shifted beside him, Ratio immediately grabbed for his hand, feeling Aventurine flinch at his strong grip. ‘I’m- sorry, just please… don’t go.’
Aventurine gave his hand a light squeeze. ‘Ratio… What I’m going to do, is very quickly order some things for you… and have the sent here as soon as possible. If you want me to, I won’t leave… You still seem semi-lucid for now, I’m guessing you still have some suppressants in your system, I don’t know what you’ll be like when they’re fully flushed out… So, I’ll ask now: do you really want me to stay?’
Ratio nodded emphatically, inwardly embarrassed by his eagerness, not wanting Aventurine to leave him all alone under the intense weight of these feelings. ‘Stay, please… please, don’t go…’ Later, when he felt better, he could only imagine how annoyed with himself he might feel, yet now he wished only to have Aventurine stay and comfort him.
Aventurine murmured something in response, though Ratio didn’t hear him, more concerned with the sensation of Aventurine’s hand against his. Aventurine shuffled beside him again, tentatively running a hand through Ratio’s hair, and at the contented noise Ratio couldn’t help but make, Aventurine continued to stroke the strands, giving him something else to focus on other than his own body.
He must have fallen asleep for a little while, for suddenly when he next opened his eyes, Aventurine was not beside him, and a few towels had been placed beneath his body. Though his damp clothes remained on, rubbing uncomfortably against him, the seam of his pants annoyingly pressed up against his clit, taking all his restraint not to grind against it. Shivering, he turned to see a glass of water on the bedside table, though he didn’t reach for it, knowing with the way his hands currently shook, he’d only drop it.
He must’ve made some sort of noise, for he then heard footsteps approaching, swallowing a whine at the sight of Aventurine’s face. However much time had passed, he felt hazier now, his thoughts even less concrete than before, only abstract ideas pulsing through his mind, like how badly he wanted Aventurine to touch him, to knot and breed him, instinctively spreading his legs a little. Though as soon as he thought that, he inwardly panicked, wondering how badly it might hurt if Aventurine were to actually fuck him, caught between begging for what he wanted and telling himself he didn’t need it.
Aventurine held up a bag, ensuring Ratio’s hazy eyes looked to it. ‘Here we are, some things just for you. I made sure to unpack them already, but it’s just easier to carry them in the bag. Well, have a look at see what catches your eye.’
When Ratio made no effort to reach for the bag himself, Aventurine sat beside him, opening the bag enough that Ratio could peer into it instead. ‘There- see? I got you some toys, so you can just… pick out whatever you like.’
At the sight of them, Ratio felt his face steadily flush, his body aching with both arousal and embarrassment, longing to reach for them and also to push them aside, especially with Aventurine staring at him, waiting for him to react. ‘I- I don’t want them, I’ll… I’ll… be fine… without them...’
Aventurine made a sound of disbelief. ‘Really now? You don’t want any relief? I can see you squirming, you know… do you even realise… you’ve been grinding against the mattress this whole time?’
Immediately, Ratio froze. Only then did he realise how his body had moved and twisted, becoming frustratingly aware of the languid, rhythmless way his hips had moved against the bed, the lack of friction now unbearable as he tried not to move. ‘No- I wasn’t… it was… a small physiological reaction, there’s no need to- to mention it.’
‘I see, well… either way, I’ll just sit here, and wait patiently,’ Aventurine replied, looking down at him for a moment, shrugging when Ratio only glared at him. ‘I’ll wait.’
Unwilling to give in, Ratio tried to ignore him, though he felt the heat of Aventurine’s body against his, stealing all his focus, making him recall with painful acuity how he longed for any sort of touch, resisting the urge to beg once again. Still, the lack of stimulation made him writhe and leak, whining under his breath. He tried to sit upright, once again thinking about suppressants, wondering if he could go out and buy some more, but that would be too much effort.
Feeling Aventurine shift slightly beside him, Ratio instinctively leant closer to him, pressing his nose closer to Aventurine’s clothes, breathing in what might be the faintest hint of Aventurine’s natural scent, feeling Aventurine shudder as Ratio leant even closer, trying to smell more of it. Now, it hurt, to have Aventurine so close, doing absolutely nothing, his smell not as overpowering of potent as Ratio wished it to be, his body warm and tempting, and before he realised it, Ratio had reached around to clamp a hand around Aventurine’s thigh, his fingers brushing close to his clothed cock.
Listening to Aventurine’s hitch of breath spurred him on, pressing himself even closer to Aventurine, rubbing his fingers against the bulge in his pants, biting back a moan as he realised Aventurine was already half hard. Yet just as he tried to fumble with the zipper, Aventurine’s hand wrapped around his wrist, trying to stop him, though that only made Ratio whine louder, trying to rub harder.
‘Ah- fuck, Ratio, you can’t just-’ Aventurine let out a breathy noise, his hand shaking before his grip tightened.
As Aventurine tried to move his hand, Ratio whined again, palming him through his pants. ‘Aventurine- please, you could- your knot, you could knot me- you could use me as much as you liked, I’d let you- I’d let you do anything, just knot me, please, please just-’
‘No, Ratio,’ Aventurine said, his words unyielding despite his soft tone, ‘you don’t really want that, do you? I know you… don’t even want a heat in the first place- I know… you’re just… acting on instinct. But don’t worry… if it’s hurting this badly, I’ll try and help.’ Just as Ratio went to beg again, Aventurine delicately removed Ratio’s hand, instead turning himself around and kneeling on the bed, his fingers pausing for a long time as they hooked over the waistband of Ratio’s pants, before sliding them and his underwear down his legs in a quick motion, throwing them to the floor.
Aventurine paused again, this time to stare at the slick leaking from his cunt, resting a hand on Ratio’s thigh when he started to squirm under his stare. Once more, Aventurine reached into the bag, pulling something out. ‘This’ll make you feel good, let me just-’
‘You could just- just knot me,’ Ratio tried to say again, spreading his legs a little further, trying to re-direct Aventurine’s attention to where he wanted it, his body still hot and aching with arousal, making another sound of frustration when Aventurine instead pressed the tip of a toy to his entrance.
‘I said… I’d stay, I didn’t say I’d fuck you- I know if I did, I couldn’t hold back, I’d want you too much…’ Aventurine begun to sink it inside, the toy meeting no resistance, keeping his hand steady as Ratio shuddered and squirmed in place. ‘So, let me make you feel good like this-’ Aventurine rubbed at his clit soothingly, easing the ache of arousal as Ratio let out a long moan. ‘There, like that- you can handle it like this, can’t you?’
‘Aventurine, please-’ Ratio moaned out, shuddering at the feel of the toy filling him, gasping loudly as it vibrated suddenly, almost jolting off the bed at the feeling, held down by Aventurine’s hands. It already felt too overwhelming, and he felt as if he embarrassingly teetered on the brink of orgasm so soon, feeling wetness seep from between his legs as Aventurine moved the toy slowly, thrusting it into him so that Ratio felt every inch of it keenly.
‘Does it feel good?’ Aventurine murmured, gently rubbing at Ratio’s clit, his own voice sounding breathless now as Ratio moaned and writhed beneath him, setting a careful rhythm with the toy as it buzzed inside of Ratio. ‘Come whenever you like, as much as you like- I know… I know you don’t like having heats, but I won’t go anywhere if you don’t want me to, I’m not letting you get stressed out over this…’
Ratio could hardly comprehend what he said, his entire body too sensitive, overwhelming him, his thighs trembling constantly as obscene, loud moans left his lips. Squirming in place, he tried to hold back the growing pressure within himself, whimpering under his breath as he rapidly approached climax, both Aventurine’s finger rubbing at his clit, and the toy vibrating inside of him, made him shudder intensely.
He tried to reach out to clutch at Aventurine’s arm, his own body shaking too much that he had to drop his arm, making a noise of frustration, for Aventurine was much further away than he wanted him. He wanted Aventurine’s body and scent draped over him, he wanted to be filled with him, to feel Aventurine in every way he could, and to know that Aventurine wouldn’t give him what he wanted only made him burn with frustration. ‘Aventurine-’ Again, he tried to call for him, ‘Please- I want, I want you, please-’
Aventurine mumbled something under his breath, though Ratio didn’t hear it. When Ratio continued to only make noises of annoyance, Aventurine’s rhythm with the toy faltered before he stopped moving it entirely. Even through the haze of arousal, Ratio saw the conflict on his face, how Aventurine internally debated something for a long moment before pushing a smile back onto his face.
‘Well, then, if you need me that badly, perhaps I could… use my mouth- how’s that sound? If it makes you feel better, I might as well…’ Ratio felt like he’d nodded, or perhaps not, as though he tried to agree, it felt annoyingly difficult to speak. Yet Aventurine must have understood, shifting in place, leaning closer until his hot breath fanned over Ratio’s cunt, slowly easing the vibrator back out, accompanied by a gush of slick onto the bed. ‘You’re trying so hard not to come, I see that… is it because you’ve been waiting for my touch? You don’t want to come without it?’
This time, Ratio new he’d nodded emphatically, desperate to agree so that it made Aventurine faster and told him how badly he needed this. Again, he heard Aventurine say something to himself, though he couldn’t tell what, now too distracted by Aventurine’s warm tongue flicking over his swollen clit.
‘I’ll make you feel good, I promise,’ Aventurine then said, instantly soothing Ratio’s beginning panic, and for a second Ratio couldn’t tell if he’d heard a tinge of desperation to Aventurine’s own voice, or if he’d mistaken it for something else. ‘Don’t worry, just try to relax.’ Again, his warm tongue licked over his clit, while his other hand teased at his entrance, collecting the slick that pooled there, spreading him open so that Aventurine could stare at the way he leaked onto the bed.
When Aventurine’s tongue instead trailed down from his clit to lick at the slick that streamed from him, he groaned in the back of his throat, lapping it up while his fingers just barely teased at his clit, rubbing in slow circles. Before he could even warn Aventurine of the almost unbearable pleasure coursing through him as his stomach and thighs tensed, his core trembling, Ratio tipped his head back in a long moan, unable to quantify that feelings that raced through him as he squirted over Aventurine’s tongue, the started noise Aventurine made only fuelling his own arousal as he thrashed in place, his cunt fluttering around nothing, unbearably empty.
‘Oh, fuck, you… just from that…’ Aventurine trailed off, drawing back. His movement drew Ratio’s gaze, opening his eyes just to focus on Aventurine’s flush face and widened stared, how his lips shone with slick that had dribbled down his chin and neck, staining his shirt.
Embarrassed by what had happened, Ratio shut his eyes, feeling another faint throb of arousal, nowhere near as painful as it had felt earlier now that he’d felt some relief. Waves of pleasure continued to roll through him, though as the lack of stimulation become apparent, he started to squirm again, still needing more to relieve him.
Seeing that, Aventurine managed to snap himself out of whatever shocked state he’d found himself in, quickly re-inserting the vibrator, swearing to himself at the immediate loud moan Ratio let out, the sound nearly deafening in that brief moment of silence. ‘Oh, you poor thing, you needed this badly, didn’t you? You’ve denied yourself so long… just let yourself enjoy this, Ratio. Let yourself have this.’
Ratio tried to say something, unsure what he’d said, whether he’d complained or agreed, now too busy writhing again as Aventurine carefully thrust the toy in and out, his cunt almost painfully sensitive now, every touch to his g-spot making his body jolt on reflex. Whenever he tried to close his legs to hide the sight Aventurine must see, Aventurine simply parted them again, keeping one hand atop a quivering thigh, murmuring praise whenever Ratio started to whine.
In his mind, Ratio still savoured the sight of Aventurine’s face from earlier, that rare expression of surprise, combined with the fluids on his face had looked so beautifully obscene. Yet whenever he opened his eyes enough to look at Aventurine, he found it a struggle to look away again, struck by the blush to his cheek, and the subtle smile on his lips, wanting to keep watching until he would shiver and his eyes would screw shut, bracing himself against the overwhelming pleasure and losing sight of Aventurine.
Once again, he managed to open his eyes, letting himself stare unabashedly at Aventurine’s body, helpless to do anything but focus on the sight of the erection straining again his pants, and the wet spot dampening the fabric. Seeing the thick imprint of it only reminded him that he wanted more, that no matter how the toy buzzed inside of him, the pleasure felt superficial, satiating him only at surface level, when he knew Aventurine could satisfy the deep-seated frustration that had sunk through his entire being.
With the concentration obvious on his face, Aventurine looked frustrated too, trying not to grind against the sheets, shuddering faintly whenever Ratio drenched the sheets further. Seeing him try so hard to hold back only made Ratio wish Aventurine would give in more than he already wanted him to, his lust-addled mind uncomprehending as to why he refused to do more.
Though his legs shook, Ratio tried to move them again, managing to power through the shuddering to clamp his thighs around Aventurine’s waist, pulling him closer until he finally felt the heat of Aventurine’s clothed erection against his skin. When Aventurine tried to wriggle free, Ratio held him tighter, keeping his thighs wrapped around him so Aventurine remained locked in place.
‘Ratio- what are you-’ Aventurine begun, cutting himself off with a gasp as Ratio started to grind against him. ‘Ah, careful- you shouldn’t-’
‘Fuck me,’ Ratio pleaded, his mind too foggy to care about the whiny, breathy quality that had overtaken his voice. ‘Aventurine, please, please don’t hold back, I need you-’ His words took on an increasingly desperate edge, close to sobbing and begging as Aventurine continued to try and pry Ratio’s legs off of him, uncertain why Aventurine was rejecting him.
‘Ratio- you don’t want me,’ Aventurine protested, trying and failing to free himself, shaky sounds falling from his lips at every press of Ratio against him, pulling him closer to Ratio’s cunt and the vibrator buzzing between them. ‘You, ah- you don’t want me, just- just let me take care of you, I can’t- can’t give you any more, I’ll only take too much from you-’
That only made Ratio moan again, because he wanted that, for Aventurine to take and take from him, for Aventurine to fill him, fuck him, bite him, change him irreparably, to make his body crave and need Aventurine at every moment, to have Aventurine by his side so much that to be without him would be torture. It made him want to try harder and make Aventurine come too, wondering then if Aventurine would finally stop holding back once he saw Ratio could make him feel good. He just had to prove himself first, he had to make Aventurine see he needed and wanted him, then Aventurine would understand.
Feeling Aventurine shudder against him, increasingly close to slumping over Ratio’s body, and Ratio knew he himself would not last much longer. Grinding deliberately against Aventurine and moaning his name, he clenched tightly around the vibrator, another long moan pulled from his throat as he came, drenching the front of Aventurine’s pants, his tensed thighs tightening their hold until he finally succeeded in toppling Aventurine over and onto himself.
As the pleasurable waves of orgasmed flowed and ebbed through his body, his eyes fluttered open again, finding himself staring back into Aventurine’s eyes, their faces so close that if Ratio were not so tired, he’d close the distance and kiss at Aventurine’s lips. Instead, he lay there, shuddering beneath him as Aventurine’s hands remained braced either side of his head, as Aventurine’s stare darkened with lust the longer he watched Ratio, moving his hands to lace them with Ratio’s and pin him down, though Ratio entangled their fingers.
Ratio tilted his head to the side, baring his neck for him, staring up at him in expectation.
Aventurine blinked back at him in surprise, his eyes widening and his lips parting in a near silent gasp as his breath caught in his throat. Slowly, he leant closer, eyeing Ratio’s neck as if he really would sink his teeth in and bite, and Ratio shivered in anticipation, waiting for it, wanting it. Yet just as the heat of Aventurine’s breath fanned over the column of Ratio’s neck, Aventurine quickly sat upright, looking away.
Without a word, he turned the vibrator off, finally shucking off Ratio’s thighs from his body and making his escape. As Ratio made another frustrated noise, Aventurine offered him a strained smile. ‘I’ll go and get you a towel, just relax for me, then I’ll clean you up when I get back.’
‘Aventurine, no, please,’ Ratio called for him, writhing from the simmering arousal within as he reached out, trying to grab for him even though Aventurine was completely out of his reach, turning his back on Ratio and leaving for the bathroom.
Now alone, Ratio curled in on himself, pulling the sheets closer and tangling himself among them, shuddering as he waited for Aventurine, needing him to return soon, for even a moment without him felt unbearable.