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Waves of panic washed over Gideon when he smelled the smoke.
In the engine room, that was expected, as he extended his hands and let flame lap out from his fingertips. It wasn't the flame itself that fueled the train— it was the innate energy that coursed through his genasi blood, and the knowledge that he carried. But this smell, it would not leave him.
Large quantities of smoke billowed out from the engine itself, and the sounds of the train seemed to grow louder, rattling with an unusual speed. The manacles around his wrists tightened, squeezing the flesh there when he attempted to stand up straight, his eyes widening in fear at the realization. Too much. He went too far, and fucked it up. The panic was drowning him now, his breath quickening when he looked towards the door, hearing the loud, angry footsteps of his captors.
The flames that sparked at the ends of his hair grew brighter with fear.
He tried to pull at the chains, perhaps to escape so he could defend himself when the time came— but he wasn't strong enough, not yet. Perhaps he would never be strong enough to escape the clutches of this hell.
The fire burned in his vision. The smoke made his throat tighten, despite the usual resistance he had.
It was then that the door swung open, and a large figure stood there, towering, their shadow spilling into the room. Red eyes narrowed at him beneath a furrowed brow, a spear in one hand. Black hair cascaded down their breast, tied in a tight braid that extended up to their roots. The hobgoblin sneered.
"Useless mutt! What have you done?"
Gideon trembled beneath the red figure, but he managed to keep his cool despite the growing fear in his heart. He swallowed, and then spat on the ground in front of the hobgoblin. "Why don'tcha come over here and find out yerself, eh?"
"Oh, you'll pay for that, genie."
The hobgoblin advanced in on him, and grabbed the back of Gideon's head, yanking him up by the hair. The fire genasi growled, crying out in pain, and felt a stabbing pain in his thigh. Looking down, he realized that the hobgoblin had jammed the spear into the muscle, digging it into the flesh. Gideon opened his mouth to yell in pain, but it was cut off by another hobgoblin grabbing him by the face, a hand stifling the sound.
As one gripped his hair, the other pressed a piece of metal to his shoulder. Ice cold.
Steam rose off of the space where they held the branding iron to his flesh, and he screamed behind the hand that muffled any words. The punishment was familar at this point, but still hurt like hell— and he writhed. Unfortunately, those damn chains were still connected to the ground, and he was held in place by his captors.
As the two continued to hold him there— torturous for him, much more torturous than being beat senseless— a different hobgoblin assesssed the situation with the engine, despite perhaps not knowing enough about the mechanism. Not as much as Gideon knew. The mistake he made was clumsy, and for a brief second, he knew he deserved this torture. He was fucking stupid, a stupid, useless, mutt of a genasi.
The smoke filled the room, and he was blinded. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move, stuck with the pain that was being inflicted upon him. The pain of the freeze branding mingling with the stab wound… he wasn't sure which was worse, which would be better to focus on.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard the screams of his Pa, burning alive, as flames lapped at his vision.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
- - - -
Gideon jolted awake, screaming as he felt the pain.
For a split second, he thought he was back on the train again. He was sitting in the dark, his hands pressed to the warm, solid ground. Was it moving? He heard voices around him, and felt hands on his arms, and he screamed again when they felt like the icy touch of the branding iron. For a moment, he thought he heard the sound of steam cascading from his flesh.
"Don't fuckin' touch me! No! NO!"
"Gid! GID, it's me! It's Kremy!"
Gideon's eyes adjusted, and it was then that he realized he wasn't on the train at all, but in a tent, sitting in a bedroll that was now twisted and scrunched with his thrashing. Sparks were flying around them, and he realized it was his hair that had been sparking, flames lapping in the air and around his ears. Blinking, he looked at the owner of the voice, and was surprised to see that it was, in fact, Kremy. Kremy. He knew Kremy.
Tears blurred his vision. He could still feel the branding on his shoulder.
"It's Kremy. You're alright," Kremy said again, softly, his hands outstretched but not yet touching the genasi. "You have a nightmare?"
"Is Gideon okaaay?" The sound of Torbek's voice sounded in the dark space, his voice a small whine of concern.
"He is, cher. Just a nightmare. Right, Gid?" Kremy murmured softly again, his silver gaze gentle in the light of Gideon's firey form. The genasi swallowed, his whole body trembling, his breath quick.
"Nightmare…" Gideon mumbled, dumbly, and ran a shaky hand over his face. "F—fuck— I can't— I can't breathe—"
"Did you dream about the train, Gid?" Kremy asked.
The word sent another jolt of panic through his system, and a strangled sob built up in his throat, his hands gripping at his hair. Still, he felt the cold iron on his back, searing his flesh, and he felt the sharp stab in his thigh. He felt his throat being constricted, the smoke in his eyes— that's why they were watering, wasn't it? The smoke, the smoke, the smoke, the smoke….
"Gid! Hey, hey… come back to me. Come back to us," Kremy murmured, his hands brushing against the genasi's in a small, soothing motion. Torbek had sidled up next to the warlock, watching with wide eyes that spoke of understanding.
Instantly, the vision of it all was gone, and Gideon found that he was sniveling in front of his two friends, tears rolling down his face.
The warlock frowned, concerned, before turning to Torbek. "Keep an eye on him, okay, hun? I'm gonna go grab Gricko an' Frosty."
Torbek nodded, but looked uncertain. "Okaaay, Mr. Kremyyy…."
Kremy stood and grabbed a lantern, leaving the two of them alone in the tent. Torbek gazed anxiously at Gideon, a frown upon his face.
Gideon grasped at his hair, his breath still quick as he came down from the anxiousness in his chest. Sobs wracked his body, soft, quiet weeps that were unusual for the strong fighter, and it was then that Torbek realized that he had never seen Gideon cry before. The bugbear scooted a bit closer, and placed both hands on Gideon's hands, gently removing them from his hair. He pressed his forehead to the genasi's.
"Giiiideon. Can you hear Torbek?" He asked, gently. "You're safe! Torbek promises."
Gideon's breath hitched, his sobs cutting off suddenly— almost so sudden that the only proof of his distress was his tear-stained face. He blinked, his eyes searching Torbek's face, before his hands squeezed the bugbear's.
"Torbek?" He mumbled.
"Yeah! Torbek is heeere." Then, his voice is lowered. "Torbek knows what you are feeling. Torbek knows it's scary. But Gideon isn't alone!"
Gideon nodded, and he pulled a hand back to run it through his messy locks. He breathed out, shakily, steadying himself. He wasn't on the train. Torbek was here, and the chains weren't connected to the ground. He was free. But above all, he was safe, and he wasn't alone, like in that damn engine room.
He looked up again, and finally met Torbek's gaze. "I— I'm sorry if I freaked ya out there, Torbek," he said, and there was still a slight waver to his voice.
"Sorryyy? Gideon, you have nothing to be sorry for! Torbek is sorry that you had a nightmare. Torbek gets a lot of those too…."
A small, bitter chuckle left Gideon's lips, and it was breathy from the panic attack. "Oh, that's right— I wasn't the only one imprisoned, huh?"
"Torbek still isss."
Before Gideon could ask what the bugbear meant by that, the flap of the tent was pulled back, and Gricko scrambled inside. The goblin stopped just in front of the fire genasi, his blue eyes wide, while Frost and Kremy pushed themselves through the tent behind him.
"Are you okay, Big Red?!" Gricko exclaimed, worry written across his face. "Frosty and I heard tha scream, but then I wasn't sure— an'then Kremy came and told us you were havin' a panic attack—"
"Give him space, you dumbass!" Kremy hissed, pulling Gricko back by the scruff of his neck.
Gideon shook his head, a quiet, shaky laugh leaving his lips. "Nah, it's alright, Krem," he said, and wiped his nose with the back of a hand, sniffing a bit. "I'm calmer now. It's passed— kinda."
"So you did have a nightmare?" Frost asked, and the worry was written in his gaze, too.
"Yeah, but— I mean… look, it happens a lot, alright? I'm fine," the genasi responded.
Kremy had sat next to Torbek again, grunting a bit with his bad hip. He crossed his arms, and glared skeptically at Gideon, tapping a claw against his scales. "You woke up screamin' your head off, Gid. Even if it happens a lot, you can still struggle with this shit! Hell, I have nightmares almost every night, and so does Torbek. I betcha Gricko has 'em too," the warlock said.
Gricko shuddered. "The groblin comes for me…."
Kremy ignored him. "Don't go downplayin' your emotions just cus you don't want to worry us— we love and care 'bout ya, alright?"
"I know, I just… it ain't anything you can fix. It ain't anything I can fix. So I don't like to talk about it," Gideon responded. His hands shook slightly, his hair flickering in the darkness of the tent.
There was a moment of silence after that, the rest of the party taking in his words. Gricko scrambled forward once again, before pausing, opting to just holding the genasi's hand instead of hugging him. "Hey, it's okay, Gideon... You don't gotta talk about it! Not 'til yer ready, eh? Frosty doesn't talk about his fings, either."
"Well I don't wanna be compared to Frosty! No offense, of course," Gideon said, though his voice did not hold any heat to it, only a familiar teasing quality. Regardless, Frost still frowned. "Besides— you all know the story…."
The party grew silent. They did, in fact, know the story of Gideon's imprisonment— how the hobgoblins burned down his town and captured him, forcing him onto that train. He was only eighteen, only a few years into adulthood. They just didn't know how Gideon coped with the trauma after all of this time, the genasi constantly putting up a facade as to mask whatever was going through his head.
Gideon himself grew quiet. He was staring at his manacles, at the heavy chains around his wrists. A reminder of his past, and yet a nudge to keep going, keep fighting. And it was then that his hands were covered by the small green hands of Gricko, and he looked up to meet his gaze.
"Do you want us to stay, Gideon?" the goblin asked, softly.
The genasi felt his eyes burn with tears, and he nearly broke down again then and there. But instead, he nodded. "Yeah. I… I'd like that."
Frost, surprisingly enough, was the first to move. Sensing the distress that his friend was in, the tabaxi rose to his feet and padded over to join his side, settling on the bedroll next to him. He wrapped his arms around Gideon, giving his face an encouraging lick, before gently laying next to him. He nuzzled close, his tail curling around Gideon's leg.
Instantly, the fire genasi felt the tension leave his body. He glanced at Frost, into his gold and green gaze, before shyly pressing his face into the soft fur on his neck. He smelled nice, sweet, like he always did. Gideon always wondered how he did, considering they had been trekking the feywild for so long… but Frost would always be soft and smell of jasmine.
Torbek was the opposite, but the party had gotten used to it at this point. The bugbear settled down on the other side of the genasi, while Kremy pulled himself closer and lay against the furry goblinoid. The gatorkin draped his arm over Torbek's waist, while Torbek pressed his face into Gideon's neck, his hand on his chest.
"You smell nice, Gideon," the bugbear said, his tail whacking against Kremy's thigh.
"You don't," Gideon responded.
"Awww." His sad whine earned a chuckle from the genasi, and Gideon pressed a small kiss to the bugbear's nose as an apology. Kremy smiled at the exchange, a claw tracing circles on Torbek's hip.
"Let me in too!" Gricko said, and the goblin scrambled forward. He slotted himself right on top of Gideon, earning a grunt from the other as he draped his body across him, his tail wrapping around Frost's. Happy purrs rumbled deep within the goblin's throat, as he tucked his head beneath Gideon's chin. "This better?"
Gideon thought about that. He was overheating, for sure, but that did not bother him as a fire genasi. In fact, he preferred it— it distracted him from the freeze branding scar on his shoulder, the memory that had wormed its way into his dreams being doused by the comfort of his partners. He nuzzled his nose into Gricko's hair, his hand idly playing with Frost's fur— Frost, who was already dozing off again, a contented smile upon his face.
"Yeah, this— this is better," Gideon said.
"Good. Then you know to come to us when ya have a nightmare, pumpkin," Kremy chimed in from his place beside Torbek, the warlock having closed his eyes as well.
Gideon felt his heart swell with love and affection towards his companions. He had to smile, his mustache twitching with a small huff of gratitude. He closed his eyes and listened as Gricko hummed a soft lullaby. He breathed in the scent of jasmine from Frost, feeling Torbek's fingers grasping and caressing his chest in slow, soothing motions. For once, he did not think about fire, or trains, or chains.
For once, he thought about the moon. And he knew he was safe.
Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, Gricko suddenly perked up when he heard the hammering of paws against the forest floor.
"Hootsie! No!"
Everyone was startled awake when Hootsie barreled into all five of them. Unfortunately, however, she was no longer a cub— and the large owlbear curled up on top, crushing her papa. Gricko merely laughed, hugging his daughter, and Gideon had to laugh too, despite the breath being knocked out of his lungs.
Kremy yelped. "Oh, fuck—!"
"Hootsieee! Torbek was trying to sleeeep!" Torbek complained.
Gideon grunted out a small laugh from the floor. "Oh, she's fine. She was probably wonderin' where everyone was, heheh."
"Aww, sorry for leaving ya, Hootsie. I just didn't want t'wake ya up," Gricko said.
They all settled back into their positions from before, and a calm silence washed over the tent, snuggled against one another. When Gideon fell asleep again, he dreamt instead of the sun.