Chapter 1: quality time.
Notes:
quality time emphasises the importance of focused, undivided attention and meaningful engagement between individuals.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
He lives in a one bedroom flat, a flat that’s quite literally big enough for maybe two people to comfortably live in at most, and he hadn’t realised just how messy he’d left it until about five minutes ago when he walked into it for the first time in about two weeks.
He doesn’t have many friends, he practically lived at the Club Pentagon, so he rarely had any guests, let alone any guests stay overnight.
But now he has Thanos, and the rapper is taking his time by the front door, right where a framed photograph of Namgyu and his sister sits on the wall. The wall is a beige colour. Namgyu never had any urge to paint it anything else.
”Who’s the little señorita?”
The question catches him off guard, even though it probably shouldn’t have and he probably should’ve expected Thanos to ask about her. The taller male doesn’t take his eyes off the image. It’s clear he’s actually intrigued rather than just attempting to create a conversation.
”She’s my sister.”
”You never mentioned her.”
”I didn’t want to,” he says with a small shake of his head, “not in that place.”
Gi-hun’s little revolt had worked, and as the island blew up behind them, exhausted and frightened players floating in freezing cold water were quickly being pulled into boats by god knows who.
There had been helicopters flying over them. Everyone just sort of quietly agreed that they were probably the guards and the person who ran the whole thing. One guard escaped with them. She’d helped lead them all out in the safest way possible.
Namgyu had guessed most of them were military, or at the very least ex-military. He found out, once they were safely at shore, that one of their ‘saviours’ had been player 001’s younger brother. What a family reunion that must’ve been.
Thanos hums gently. ”What’s her name?”
“Sang-mi.”
He looks over at Namgyu, and for a second he hesitates, but then he decides that it’s okay to tell him this. “I have a sister too.”
”You do?”
”An older sister.”
He feels it’s his turn to ask, “what’s her name?”
”Nam-ra.”
”That’s pretty.”
”Yeah,” Thanos nods, and then he adds, “well she’s pretty annoying so—”
A small, amused smile appears on the shorter of the pair’s face, and Thanos feels rather proud of himself for being the cause of that.
There’s something between them they haven’t spoken about yet, and maybe they won’t for a while, but it’s there and it’s clear they both feel it.
Namgyu remembers their shared moment of passion in the bathroom during lights out, the way they clung to each other’s bodies and got to know each other in one of the most intimate ways, and of course Thanos remembers it too.
Most of the other players are still staying in that one hotel they’d all been brought back to after being saved. There was food waiting for them there, and clean clothes. Some players are not quite ready to go back to their homes. Some don’t even have homes to go back to.
They have scheduled police interviews. Thanos and Namgyu have theirs on the same day. Their interviews are an hour apart. Se-mi’s is the day before theirs.
Thanos is one of those people who didn’t have a home to go to. That’s why he’s here now. Namgyu didn’t want to leave him behind, and Thanos didn’t want to be left. It worked out rather well.
”Do you get along well with her?”
”Who?”
Namgyu blinks, and he wonders if perhaps he’d made that entire conversation up in his own head. “Your sister?”
”Oh, yeah,” Thanos nods, “she basically raised me after our parents decided they didn’t want to. Wouldn’t be here without her, not really.”
Namgyu doesn’t know much about Thanos’ personal life. Going into the games, the only things he knew about him was the fact that he is a rapper and a regular at the Club Pentagon, and god do all of the staff there know that. He was performing constantly, and had these massive crowds, usually of girls, that would follow him everywhere.
And yet it always seemed to be their gazes that met through the chaos.
”Where are your parents now?”
”I don’t know. I don’t really care either.”
Namgyu nods, and he supposes he can’t blame Thanos for that mindset. “My Dad walked out when my sister was five. Just went to work and never came home. It broke Mum’s heart, but she wanted to be strong for us so pretended it didn’t.”
Thanos looks back at the photo of Namgyu and his sister. The photo looks as if it was taken not that long ago.
”Sang-mi lives with Mum,” he says, “and they visit sometimes on their way home from school when I’m not working.”
”School? How old is she?”
”She’s ten.”
“And you’re—”
”Twenty-seven.”
”Damn.”
They have a seventeen-year age gap, but that big of an age gap between siblings isn’t as uncommon as you’d think. Namgyu’s parents were only teenagers themselves when they had him. Mum was eighteen and Dad was nineteen.
They didn’t want anymore kids after him, he was a lot of work apparently and constantly cried, but then along came his sister.
”It’s a big age gap, I know.”
”My sister and I are four years apart. That, um, that police dude who spoke to us before we left to come here—”
”Jun-ho?”
Thanos looks at Namgyu and tilts his head to the side, ”I thought it was Kim?”
”No,” Namgyu shakes his head, “that was the other guy.”
”Right, well, whatever,” Thanos waves a dismissive hand, “he and his brother, the number one, they must have a pretty big age gap too, right?”
”I guess so.” Jun-ho did look considerably younger than what player 001 is. They don’t know it, but the Hwang brothers are sixteen years apart.
”So did you like,” Thanos asks, “get stuck with babysitting a lot?”
Namgyu thinks of all the times he’s picked her up from school, and cooked her dinner, and built Lego with her, and read her bedtime stories. He will never forget the bright smile that had appeared on her face when she realised he was the one picking her up, and she’d giggle so happily as she ran and jumped into his arms.
He’d kiss her on the cheek every time, and she’d always tell him just how much she’d missed him. Now she’s a big too big to be jumping into his arms, but she runs into them instead and he kisses her on the top of her head. He thought she may now be embarrassed by the affection, but she doesn’t seem to care.
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, “but I didn’t mind. She was cute, and she didn’t cry like at all. She just sort of got on with it, you know? She was— she’s my best friend.”
It sinks in then that he hasn’t seen her for a while. It must be a month by now because even before the games he hadn’t seen her for a bit. He also doesn’t own a phone anymore, so he has no way of telling his Mum and Sister that he’s okay unless he goes to their home in person.
Nobody who was in the games owns a mobile device. Their stuff had been taken from them upon their arrival and where they went afterward? Well nobody has any idea.
Thanos moves away from the picture, and he travels further through Namgyu’s home, and Namgyu just watches him as he does so.
They get to the lounge. There’s an open colouring book on the coffee table. “You like to colour?”
”That’s Sang-mi’s,” he says, “but yeah, I do.”
Thanos nods, and then he turns to Namgyu. They’re wearing different clothes. Namgyu has a black hoodie on and he’s doing the sweater paws thing. Thanos thinks it’s incredibly endearing.
”Have you always done that?”
”Done what?”
”The thing you’re doing with your hoodie,” he nods towards Namgyu’s hands, “you put the sleeves like half over your hands.”
”Oh,” Namgyu responds, also looking down to his hands. He hadn’t even realised he was doing it. “I suppose so, yeah.”
”How come?”
”I don’t know,” he says, “helps with, um, it helps me when I feel anxious, I guess. Sometimes I just do it because it’s comfortable. It started as the alternative for biting my school jumpers.” He looks back up at the other man, “I used to put holes in the bottom of the sleeves to put my thumbs through. My sleeve would then sit halfway over my hands. I liked it, it was nice, and it was comfortable.”
Thanos watches him in a way that informs Namgyu he is truly taking in every word he says. So he continues:
”My Mum didn’t like it, though, because it’d be a month into the new year and she’d have to buy me new jumpers. Then I found a way to do it without needing to put my thumb through the jumper, and I suppose I haven’t ever really stopped since.”
He used to do it at work too, with the one shirt of his that was slightly too big for him. He sometimes sees his sister doing the same thing with her jumpers too. Sometimes she visits and she has ‘sweater paws’.
Thanos nods, and then he takes another look around the room. Namgyu follows Thanos’ gaze. The man with purple hair spots his pin board, the one just above his bookshelf that’s filled completely, and he stares at it. He stares at the drawings on there, and he remembers something:
”I was serious, you know,” he says, “when I said that you could do the artwork for any future albums or songs.”
Namgyu had mentioned in passing during the games, during the night in which they were both cuddled up together in Thanos’ bed a little too high to be fully aware of their surroundings, that he wanted to go to art school at some point but could never actually afford it.
He hadn’t even know Thanos had remembered that conversation.
”Really?”
”Yeah,” he says, and then he turns back to look at Namgyu, “what’s your favourite colour?”
Namgyu blinks, unsure if he’s heard the other correctly, “pardon?”
”Your favourite colour,” Thanos repeats, “what is it?”
”Uh—”
”I’m just trying to get to know you a bit better, Namsu—”
”Namgyu.”
”Eh, same thing.”
A shake of his head, “it’s really not.”
”It is,” Thanos says, and then once more, “your favourite colour?”
”I don’t have one.”
”Everyone has a favourite colour.”
”Not me,” he says, “what’s yours then?”
”Purple.”
”Should’ve guessed that.”
”Yes, yes you should have.”
It’s quiet for a moment, and they simply watch each other. The air is weird around them, but it’s not unpleasantly so. Namgyu notices for the first time that Thanos’ eyes sparkle slightly in the moonlight coming through the window, and Thanos notices the exact same thing about the other’s eyes too.
He liked to admire the shorter, and he always did whenever he thought he wasn’t being watched. At night, after Namgyu fell asleep in his arms, he counted carefully the light freckles on his face, having to restart a few times because of how dark it had been. There’s thirty-two in total.
Namgyu has thirty-two freckles on his face.
”I’ll, um, sleep on the sofa tonight.”
”What?”
”You can have my bed.”
”No.”
”No?”
”I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa of your own home, Namsu, that’s not happening.”
He bites his tongue. There’s only so many times he can correct the pronunciation of his name.
Namgyu folds his arms over his chest, ”well I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa either.”
”You’re not?”
”No.”
”So you don’t want me on the sofa, and I don’t want you on the sofa—”
”Correct.”
”So—”
Clearly there’s only one solution here, and neither of them seem to want to be the first to voice it. They don’t have to actually speak, though, because Namgyu nods lightly and it’s clear they’re in agreement of their sleeping arrangements. Thanos sends him a small smile, and it’s a smile that’s fond.
Namgyu is certain most people do not think Thanos is capable of being so— so like he is now. Quiet, caring, thoughtful. Namgyu feels a little honoured that he’s the one who gets to see this side of him. No doubt by tomorrow morning he’ll be back to his usual loud self, though.
Namgyu wouldn’t mind that. He likes Thanos just how he is. He doesn’t register that the gap between them has closed until a pair of hands are holding his face like he’s the most delicate thing on planet earth.
A kiss is pressed to his forehead, and whatever tension that had been within his shoulders disappears immediately. The touch is comforting, and he leans up slightly in order to place their foreheads together. His arms make their way around Thanos’ waist, and soon enough their foreheads are disconnected and they’re sharing an embrace.
It’s warm, and they both feel completely and utterly safe for the first time in a long time. They pull apart after a few moments, and they both feel cold when their limbs become their own again.
”Let’s go to bed?”
Namgyu nods, “yes please.”
The shorter gets changed in his own bedroom, and the taller gets changed in the bathroom. They’ve seen each other naked before, but it felt like changing separately just made more sense for the moment.
Namgyu is lying on the right side of his bed when Thanos reappears, and Thanos lays down on the left side. They’re facing one another, and it feels so familiar yet so new at the same time.
Before Thanos had laid down, though, he noticed the glasses case on Namgyu’s nightstand.
There’s no risk of death here, and there is nobody here except the two of them. There are no drugs in their system, the police had made sure of that during their time in the hotel, and it’s— it feels like home.
His flat has finally become a home. This feels normal, it feels right.
Namgyu’s left hand makes its way slowly to the right side of Thanos’ face, and he uses his thumb to slowly caress along the older man’s cheekbone. “What do we do now?”
”I don’t know,” Thanos says, because for once in his life he doesn’t want to just go wherever his legs carry him and hope for the best. He wants a plan, and he wants Namgyu to be in those plans, “I want to— I want to go back to music, I know that for sure, but where that takes me— I don’t know.”
Namgyu hums.
”Are you going back to that club?”
”Probably,” Namgyu nods, “believe it or not, I actually quite like it there.”
”You do?”
”Yeah,” he nods, “especially when this certain loud, overly-dramatic, purple-haired, annoying rapper comes in.”
”He sounds wonderful.”
It’s quiet for a moment and then a small and honest, “he is.”
Thanos smiles at him, and then he leans his head to the right to place a kiss to the base of the palm of Namgyu’s hand.
”You’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like.”
”You sure?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, and Thanos feels his heart skip a beat beneath his chest because really what has he done to deserve this? He must’ve been some sort of superhero in his past life to deserve having Namgyu in this one.
He’s aware of how ironic that thought is, by the way.
”Thank you.”
”Of course.”
The moon continues to light up the room, and neither man can be bothered to get up and close the curtains. They’ll most likely regret it in the morning when the moon is replaced by the warm sun.
”What’s your favourite food?”
”I will eat literally anything.”
Namgyu chuckles softly, and the sound makes the rapper’s heart swell.
”Fair enough,” he responds, “I was always a picky eater as a kid. Still am, to be honest.”
”Were you good at school?”
”I was great in Art class,” he says, and Thanos makes a mental note to ask him in the morning whether or not he has any more artwork he can see, “the rest I was pretty average in. I hated Science, though, never understood any of it. Oddly enough, I really liked space, had like loads of posters of the planets on my bedroom walls as a kid. Loads of books about space too. I’d always ask my teacher about that instead of what we were supposed to be learning about. I think some of the kids in my class got a little sick of it after a while. What about you?”
”Oh I hated it all,” he says, “I used to skip so many classes that my sister and I were surprised I never got kicked out. I did leave, though, before senior year. I wanted to be a rapper so my mindset was that I didn’t need anything in school. Music class didn’t happen often enough.”
”You never graduated?”
”No,” Thanos replies, “my sister was pissed at me for like a week before she told me that she would support my decision but still wasn’t pleased by it. I thought she was being really dramatic, but then I sort of sat with the realisation of what I’d done and figured that she had every right to be disappointed that I left school.”
”You didn’t like it at all then? Not one thing?”
”Hated it, Namsu,” he says again, “all the kids were really mean and nobody ever seemed like they wanted to be there. I didn’t really have any friends, just a few people I’d speak to whenever I saw them. Actually, that’s a lie, I had one friend but she moved schools and I never heard from her again.”
He frowns lightly, “I’m sorry.”
”It’s alright,” Thanos replies, “it’s not your fault. She was cool, and she had this really awesome arcade machine in her house.”
”Oh yeah?”
”Yeah, it was sick. I used to play on it all the time.”
”What was the game?”
Silence, “I don’t remember.”
”That’s okay.”
Thanos hums, and then because it feels right, “Choi Su-bong.”
”Huh?”
”My real name,” he says, “you can call me that if you’d like to.”
He’s a little shocked, “I can?”
”Yeah,” Thanos nods, “and you should feel special because not even my sister is allowed to call me that anymore… well, unless she’s mad at me then I get no say in it.”
Namgyu smiles, and he nods, “okay, Su-bong.”
He was ready to cringe, ready to tell Namgyu that actually he’d rather be referred to as ‘Thanos’, but his real name sounds pleasant in Namgyu’s voice. His real name has never sounded quite so wonderful before, actually.
Namgyu’s hand leaves Thanos’ face, and he turns his body away from the other man as he yawns softly. Thanos chuckles.
”Sleepy, Namsu?”
”It’s Namgyu.”
”Is it?”
”Yes.”
”Is it really?”
Namgyu turns back to him, “yes, it is. Mother has my birth certificate if you really want to check.”
Thanos smiles, and his tone is a playful upset, “I really can’t call you Namsu?”
”No.”
He hums, as if considering, and then he announces, ”I’m going to do it anyway.”
Namgyu rolls his eyes, but then a hand is on the left side of his face and the gap between them is closed.
Thanos is kissing him, he’s kissing him softly and almost as if he’s afraid of breaking him. Namgyu kisses him back, his way of telling him that what’s going on between them is okay and that he can continue the exchange, and he melts into the action like they’ve done this a million times before.
This exchange is not as heated as what their first set of kisses had been. Kisses in between undressing each other and gasping into one another’s mouths, kisses in between pleas for ‘more’ and ‘touch me’. Thanos’ hands on Namgyu’s hips, guiding him carefully and keeping him as close as possible whilst the younger rode him expertly like it hadn’t been the first time he’d done it.
Their hands had explored almost every part of each other’s bodies, both holding onto the other as if they were each other’s anchors, the only thing keeping each other sane throughout the whole ordeal and the games themselves— and maybe they were.
Thanos asked through kisses to Namgyu’s neck if it was okay to cum inside of him because he didn’t want to just assume, and Namgyu attached their lips before telling him that it was most definitely okay.
The bathroom was not the most romantic place for this to happen, but they didn’t really have any other options. Nowhere in there was truly private. Thanos had taken care of Namgyu afterward too, praising him and telling him softly how well he’d done whilst stroking his head and placing kisses to his sweaty forehead, and Namgyu took all that praise straight to his heart.
Namgyu took care of Thanos too, of course he had. He mouthed lazy kisses to his jaw, and he told him how amazing he was, and how good he’d felt. Even once they’d disconnected their bodies and slowly made their way back from the stall to the main dormitory, they slept in each other’s arms and they didn’t give a damn who saw them tangled up in each others limbs the next morning.
If anyone did see them, they didn’t mention anything.
Their lips separate, and Thanos presses another small kiss to Namgyu’s forehead before he moves back to his original position of lying at his side.
”We should probably—”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, already knowing what he was going to say, “we should.”
Neither of them move until Nam-gyu works up the courage to shuffle closer to the older, and Thanos brings him into his arms with no hesitation at all.
Namgyu tucks his head beneath Thanos’ chin, and he’s careful because he knows there’s a small scar there from a fork that had ever so slightly pierced his skin during a fight in the bathroom. It’s a fight Namgyu would rather forget happened altogether.
”I want you in my plans.”
“What do you mean?”
”Earlier you asked what we were going to do now, and I said I wanted to go back to music—”
”Yeah?”
”I do want to do that,” he says, “but I also want whatever I do to have you involved in some way. Like— obviously you don’t have to be with me all the time, I’m aware you have a life too, but whatever I’m doing, I would like to know that you’re somehow part of that, that you’re in my life in some way.”
“Su-bong, I—”
It’s going to take some getting used to, that’s for sure, but his name still sounds wonderful said in Namgyu’s voice. “It’s dramatic, I know—”
”It’s not dramatic,” Namgyu said, “it’s… it’s cute.”
”I am not cute.”
”You are.”
”I am not.”
”You’re so cute.”
”No, I’m not.”
”Adorable, even.”
”Namsu.”
Namgyu chuckles gently, and he’s honest when he says in a quieter volume, “I want you in my plans too.”
“I give it two weeks before you regret saying that.”
”I give it one.”
”Well that’s not very nice.”
Namgyu presses a soft kiss to Thanos’ neck, and he doesn’t need to be looking at the other man to know there’s a frown on his face. “Go to bed.”
”Don’t have to tell me twice.”
It’s quiet for a moment, and just as Namgyu goes to close his eyes, his left arm making its way around Thanos’ waist, a voice says:
“Can I tell you something else about myself?”
”Go ahead.”
”I really like you.”
Namgyu hums, content. They both know what he really means, and they also both know that love is a bit of a scary word. They can’t wait to help each other realise that it doesn’t have to be so scary, though.
”I really like you too.”
Thanos presses a kiss to the top of Namgyu’s head, and he pulls him impossibly closer. The hold he has on the younger man is tight, but it’s not uncomfortable or suffocating. It’s comforting, really, and in a way it’s protective too.
They learnt more about each other today, quality time with someone you really like, or love, is very important.
They will continue to get to know each other as the week goes on because for now, until all the investigation stuff dies down, it’s just the two of them in this one bedroom flat, and they find themselves really, really liking it that way.
Notes:
au notes:
• in-ho was never the front man. he played and won his original 2015 games and then rejoined in 2025 because he was still so lost and didn’t know what to do.
• thanos did not die by fork, instead he was lightly injured by one.
• young-mi, se-mi and gyeong-su are all still alive because yes.
• the revolt worked and 457/kimjun canon.
Chapter 2: gift giving.
Notes:
The receiving gifts love language is about feeling loved and appreciated through tangible items that symbolise thoughtfulness and care.
It's not about the monetary value of the gift, but rather the effort and sentiment behind it.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
06:24am
The rays of the rising sun slowly begin to make their way into their bedroom, the space illuminated by that light and that light only. Only one man lays asleep, the other is getting dressed in the bathroom.
They forgot to close the curtains again, both having been far too focused on slipping beneath the sheets of their bed to worry about how the sun may greet them in the morning.
Thanos tosses his pyjamas to the carpeted floor, and he knows Namgyu will complain about it as soon as he sees the mess, but he doesn’t particularly care, not when he has the most amazing surprise, at least he thinks, waiting in a music studio for his boyfriend.
For the last two months, Thanos has been carefully planning this day. Unfortunately enough, waking up this early was a requirement. They preferably needed to be alone when the gift was revealed, and the music studio can get busy from 9am onwards.
As a teenager he always slept in until the last possible second. The first class of every school day he showed up late to. His teachers stopped giving him detentions and lectures after a while. They stopped caring.
It got to the point where if he showed up to the lesson, he showed up, and if he didn’t? Well then he didn’t and they, the staff within the school, just had to hope that he was safe elsewhere.
Namgyu looks incredibly peaceful, his shoulders rising and falling evenly, and there’s a strand of hair across his eyes. He’s beautiful, he really is, and Thanos thanks his lucky stars everyday that Namgyu is the one he gets to awake beside.
He won’t say that aloud, of course, he has a reputation to uphold, after all.
The bed dips beneath his weight as he crawls up his partners body, and once he's reached the top half of him, he removes the strand of hair from the other’s face before placing a light kiss to Namgyu’s cheek.
He gets no sort of reaction, and that fact he isn’t surprised about. They’re both incredibly deep sleepers. Someone could set a firework off right outside their home in the middle of the night and they probably wouldn’t know.
So he places another kiss to Namgyu’s skin, but this time it’s slightly lower and on his jawline. Still, he gets nothing. A light frown works its way onto his face. He tries again. Another kiss to his boyfriends temple, but still absolutely no response.
“Namsu,” Thanos whispers, but the tone is urgent, “Namsu.”
There’s a small groan, and Namgyu’s face contorts into an expression of irritation for a few seconds before it relaxes once more. Thanos rolls his eyes whilst his boyfriend turns away from him in order to bury his face further into the pillow beneath his head.
Desperate times cause for desperate measures.
Thanos removes himself from Namgyu’s body, leaving the sleeping man for a few seconds whilst he goes to the lounge to retrieve their speaker. He connects his phone to it as he wanders back to the room he’d previously come from.
He hopes this works, because otherwise he’s going to have to think of something else and it’s far too early to be doing all this thinking.
Thanos places the speaker on the nightstand sitting next to the right side of the bed, the side Namgyu sleeps on, and he turns the volume up to the highest setting it can go without risking actual damage to one’s eardrums.
He finds his Spotify as he moves back by the door, by the end of the bed, opens his own musician’s profile, and he clicks on the first song under the list ‘top songs’. It takes a few seconds, but then his own voice fills the room at a rapid speed, it’s a song Thanos doesn’t even remember writing, and Namgyu shrieks.
“Fucking hell,” he cries, palms of his hands over both his ears. He sits up, their bedsheets falling to gather around his waist, glaring at the taller man, “turn that absolute shit off!”
Thanos frowns, but he does as he’s asked. He knows deep down Namgyu doesn’t think his music is ‘shit’. Well, not all of it, anyway. Some of Thanos’ earlier stuff is a bit questionable. Their room is quiet for a few seconds, and then—
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
”Do you want the list? I think new stuff gets added to it at least once a month.”
Namgyu’s hands fall to his lap, and he groans softly. “You couldn’t have woken me up any other way?”
”Well I did try to kiss you awake,” Thanos says, “but you turned your head,” pause for dramatic affect, a hand over his heart as if he’s been wounded there for good measure, “you turned your head away from me!”
”You’re so annoying.”
A loud gasp, and Thanos’ risen arm falls down to his side, ”that is not the way to talk to your boyfriend on your anniversary—”
”You didn’t even know it was our anniversary today until two weeks ago when I told you.”
”I did know.”
”You most certainly did not.”
”I did.”
”Didn’t.”
”Did.”
”Did not.”
”I did.”
”Nope.”
”Namsu—”
”Namgyu.”
Thanos sighs, accepting defeat, and he abandons his phone to their dressing table, the home of most of their clothes. He sits down on the bed in front of Namgyu.
He sends him a smile, and Namgyu cannot believe he fell in love with this idiot, “good morning.”
”I despise you.”
”Well that’s not very nice.”
”Might even kick you out—”
”Your words wound me.”
”That’s oddly poetic for you.”
”I am a rapper, Namsu—”
”Gyu.”
”—poetry is like in my blood.”
“Shut up,” Namgyu mumbles, cupping Thanos’ face in his hands and bringing him in for a kiss. The tone in which the words are said is fond more than anything else. Thanos hums into the exchange, and he melts into the action with ease.
The kiss goes from gentle to heated in a matter of seconds, and Thanos remembers the reason as to why they’re awake so early in the first place. The streets will be empty, and there’s somewhere he wants to take his boyfriend.
He detaches their lips, but Namgyu doesn’t let him go far because he rests their foreheads together. They do this a lot, and they both love it. The action is comfortable, and it keeps them grounded and in the moment. Both of their minds tend to wonder when they’re alone.
Namgyu says a small, loving, ”happy anniversary.”
Thanos kisses his boyfriend once more, and his words are said through the same tone of adoration, “happy anniversary.”
Then, at least in Namgyu’s mind, Thanos ruins the moment by quickly pulling away from him and moving so fast off the bed he almost falls straight over. The purple haired man opens one of the draws of their dresser, a draw that holds Namgyu’s stuff, and he gestures towards it with both hands:
”Get dressed.”
”But it’s so early—” He doesn’t actually know what the time is, but he can guess from how quiet it is outside that it’s considerably earlier than their usual waking hour.
”Please.”
”Why?”
”I have a surprise for you.”
Namgyu sighs, “well that doesn’t sound promising.”
”It’s a good surprise this time, promise.”
”I don’t know.”
”Namsu, my love, please.”
He wants him to get dressed. That can only mean one thing. “Where are you taking me?”
“Did you not just hear me say that it’s a surprise?”
Namgyu moves off the bed too, and Thanos grins before leaving the room altogether to get the key he needs for the studio.
Namgyu watches him go with an amused smile on his face, and then he curses gently and closes the curtains before getting dressed. Nobody is outside, but he’s not willing to risk it. He also puts his glasses on because he can’t see for shit without them.
He joins Thanos in the lounge of their home, the home that used to be just Namgyu’s but very quickly became theirs. Thanos did go back to music after all the police investigation into the games concluded, and he was welcomed back by fans, both new and old, with open arms.
Namgyu went back to the Club Pentagon. Se-mi works there some weekends now too. She’s cover staff. She’s sometimes there throughout the week too if someone is off sick or can’t make it for whatever reason.
They do plan to start putting money aside for a new home, a home that has maybe one or two guest bedrooms and a space for Namgyu to create Art, but they’re not in any real rush to do so. They’re taking their time with this, their relationship, and that’s okay.
“Ready?”
”I forgot to brush my teeth.”
Thanos cringes, “oh, fuck, me too.”
They look at each other, and then Namgyu makes a dash for the bathroom but Thanos is quicker than him. He grabs Namgyu by the waist, and he lifts him from the floor.
”Hey! Put me down, dickhead!” He tries to shuffle his way out of his boyfriend’s hold, but Thanos isn’t bothered by the fight at all and instead turns around so that he can put Namgyu back on the floor. The shorter man is now behind him, and Thanos waves quickly before fleeing to the location where he can brush his teeth.
He watches as Thanos disappears into their bathroom, the bathroom currently stained purple due to a hair dye incident a few days ago. This happens far too often for his liking, the whole picking up and spinning around thing— he’s kidding. A small smile works its way onto his face, and he can still sort of feel his boyfriend’s arms around his waist as he heads to the bathroom too.
Once their teeth are brushed, they begin a walk to a familiar location. The streets are empty, and Thanos squeezes Namgyu’s hand when he feels the shorter man join their bodies in that way.
Thanos doesn’t care what people think. If his fans don’t like Namgyu, or don’t like that he’s with Namgyu, well he doesn’t want them as fans anyway.
Namgyu is his boyfriend, the love of his life, and he’s going to show him off whenever he gets the opportunity to. He talks about him in interviews as well, and Se-mi makes fun of the very obvious adoration in his eyes whenever he does so.
Thanos does keep the Namgyu content across his social media to a minimum, though, because he knows that Namgyu isn’t the biggest fan of having attention on him. Often he checks with his boyfriend first to see whether or not he’s okay with something being posted. Namgyu almost always says yes.
The music studio comes into view seemingly a lot quicker today, and like the gentleman he is, Thanos holds the door open for Namgyu to walk through first. Namgyu hesitates, though.
”This isn’t exactly—”
”It’s part of the surprise and it’ll be worth it.”
”Right,” Namgyu nods, and he steps inside the building despite still not being entirely convinced. Until he started dating Thanos and the rapper began pursuing music again, recording singles and preparing an album, he had no idea he lived within walking distance of a music studio.
Looking at it from the outside, it could easily be mistaken for a stand-alone house. There’s no sort of advertising outside of it. There is quite literally no way of being certain of what it is until you’re inside.
Thanos takes Namgyu’s hand in his own and leads him up the stairs. There’s a light scent of stale coffee in the air, and the hum of electricity fills both of their ears. Namgyu isn’t certain as to why they’re here, but his intrigue builds with every step he takes.
They get to the studio room Thanos uses, and he unlocks it with the key he stuffed into the bottom of his pocket. The key goes back there, and the door gets closed behind them. Namgyu is fairly certain they’re the only people here. It’s nice that way.
He’s been here a few times before. He’s sat on the sofa scrolling through his phone or reading, because he can read almost anywhere no matter what the background noise is, whilst Thanos has scribbled lyrics into his notebook and recorded the same verse about four different times. They sound different to him, the different versions, but to Namgyu they all sound the same.
”Come here,” Thanos says, and Namgyu hums, tearing his gaze away from the decorative awards on the wall to where his boyfriend sits on the spinning chair by the computer where all the recorded music goes. When he’s within reach, Thanos pulls him down to sit on his lap.
Namgyu goes gladly, of course, and then a pair of headphones get placed on top of his head.
”What—”
”Just give me a minute,” Thanos says, and he places his chin onto Namgyu’s right shoulder. His left arm wraps itself around the shorter man’s waist, and Namgyu watches as Thanos logs into the computer and pulls up the most recent audio save.
”I’m so lost right now.”
”You’re in a music studio with me, and we’re in the country of—”
”Not like that, idiot.”
”Oh, right,” Thanos says, “this, um, this is your present,” he then clarifies, “your anniversary present.”
”What is?”
”Just— just listen, alright?”
Namgyu looks at his boyfriend, but Thanos seemingly refuses to meet his gaze. As Namgyu turns back to look at the computer, he notices the slight tremble in the purple-haired man’s hand as he clicks ‘play’.
And then he hears his present. It’s a song. It’s a song that has a rap in it but is considerably slower than any other song Thanos has ever produced.
It’s a song about them, a song about Namgyu, a chorus about an aspiring artist and a musician, a song about slow mornings and passionate nights, a song about sparkling eyes under nightclub LED lights. A song about lingering gazes through crowds of dancing people.
A song about being there for one another in the bad times and there also for the good. A song about Namgyu being all the bright colours, a bright light, in a previously black and white world. A song about a packed club being filled to the brim with people and yet, whenever their gazes found one another, it felt like they were the only one’s existing in the world.
A song about love, really, a song about the love Thanos has for him, and Namgyu doesn’t think he’s ever felt quite so cherished before.
And Namgyu is fairly certain he falls in love all over again as he listens and absorbs every lyric. Some parts of the song are quicker than others, some parts his brain doesn’t quite catch because the lyrics move too quickly— but he doesn’t need to catch every word to know what Thanos is telling him.
The song ends, and the silence is deafening. Namgyu feels about every positive emotion in existence, and he feels overwhelmed but in a good way. He has to blink, because he can feel his eyes watering. At some point during the song, Thanos had moved his chin off his shoulder.
”Did you,” Thanos begins, somewhat hesitantly because he cannot quite work out what the expression on his boyfriend’s face means, “did you like it or— I can get you something else if you want. I just thought— I really tried—”
“It’s perfect.”
He blinks. And he feels his heart stop. His brain debates on whether or not he’s heard his partner correctly. “It’s—”
”It’s perfect,” Namgyu confirms, a smile on his face and he turns to Thanos, “you are perfect.”
”Oh,” he hadn’t quite expected that reply. He’s been called a lot of things throughout his life, but perfect has never been one of them. He’s not perfect, not really, he’s far from it. Is anyone perfect? What even is perfect?
He thinks Namgyu’s perfect.
And oh… Namgyu thinks he’s perfect too.
”You like it?”
”Like it? Su-bong, sweetheart, I love it.”
”You mean it?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, and he has no problem telling Thanos over and over again just how wonderful this gift is, “it’s the best present I’ve ever gotten.”
”Are you s—”
Namgyu leans down to close the gap between them, and he’s careful because he’s aware of the headphones still on his head. Thanos smiles into the exchange, and he drags Namgyu further down his lap, keeping him securely there with both arms now wrapped around his waist.
Namgyu’s left hand makes its way to cup the right side of his boyfriend’s face.
”I did know, by the way.”
”Know what?”
”That it was our anniversary,” he says, and Namgyu rests their foreheads together, “I’ve been working on this for like two months.”
“So all the times you’ve been here until late—”
”I’ve been writing a song for you, yeah.”
Namgyu chuckles softly, and the sound is like music to the rapper’s ears. Namgyu’s laugh is like a song he’ll never get tired of hearing no matter how many times it’s played.
“And they say romance is dead.”
”Not here, baby.”
”I love you.”
Thanos attaches their lips once more, this kiss fleeting, “I love you too, my Namsu.”
Namgyu rolls his eyes, and as he pulls back, he says in a playful tone, dragging out the ‘and’ for a second more, “and you ruined it.”
The taller male knows he’s joking, of course he does, so he chuckles gently and captures Namgyu’s face in his own hands before pulling him back in for another kiss.
Namgyu goes gladly.
They don’t leave the studio for a while. In fact that make themselves quite comfortable on the sofa.
It’s a good job they’re alone.
****
14:30pm
Namgyu has been gone for exactly half an hour, and Thanos feels a little dull in their home by himself. He even tried to clean the purple hair dye off the bathroom tiles he got so bored! He had no luck. He gave up after about five minutes.
Currently he’s sat in the lounge, and on his phone in front of him is the very popular Instagram post Namgyu had done for their anniversary. Thanos thinks this may be his gift, but he isn’t sure.
He wouldn’t mind if it was.
If he was being completely honest, just being able to call Namgyu is boyfriend is more than enough for him. Just being in his general presence is a gift he adores.
Namgyu had chosen quite possibly the best pictures of them, and of him just on his own. Some are taken at his shows, one he recognises to have been taken before they even went in those games that killed people for fun.
The caption simply reads: happy one year 💜, and he thinks the purple heart is a really nice touch. He’ll have to make a post of his own later. He already has his photo’s picked out. His absolute favourite photo of Namgyu is a black and white one a photographer took at his show a few weeks ago.
The quality is amazing, naturally, and Namgyu is watching him on stage with an expression on his face that’s a mixture of utter adoration and pride. It’s his lock screen on his phone, and his home screen too.
He doesn’t have to wait much longer for his boyfriend to come home, though. The front door opens and closes again in a matter of seconds, and Thanos turns his phone off and abandons it to the coffee table.
Thanos is going to put the song on a CD so that Namgyu can listen to it whenever he likes. He has two other songs about Namgyu he’s working on, but they’re for the album.
He stands, and Namgyu greets him in the spot where the entry hallway becomes the lounge. He looks a little bashful, like he doesn’t really know what to do next. Thanos looks at what he’s holding, and he smiles.
He assumes correctly, “you got me flowers?”
”It’s really shit compared to your gift, I know.”
”No,” Thanos shakes his head, “no, it’s not.”
”I had to pick them up because it was a custom bouquet,” Namgyu explains, and Thanos realises then that the roses are all different colours. Red, purple, pink, yellow. They must mean something. He won’t lie, other than red, he has no clue what the roses are supposed to represent.
Purple? He can guess comfortably that it’s supposed to represent him. He’ll have to look up the language of flowers later. Or—
“There’s a card attached that’ll tell you what each of the roses mean,” Namgyu says, and Thanos doesn’t like the way he looks so defeated, “and it is really shit, I’m sorry-”
“Stop that right now,” Thanos begins, and he crosses the room in order to take the bouquet from his boyfriends hands, “they are beautiful, and you are beautiful, and I love them, and I love you.”
“Su-bong—”
”Would I ever lie to you?”
Namgyu sighs gently, and he shakes his head. “No.”
“There you go then.”
It’s evident that he’s still not certain of his gift, so Thanos uses his free right arm to bring Namgyu into his side, and he presses a kiss to the top of his head. Namgyu’s arms find themselves easily wrapping around the taller man’s middle.
Namgyu has always loved physical contact in any way, shape, or form. Thanos reaches for his hand so often in a public setting because he knows that. Physical touch helps to ground him, helps to remind him that he’s not alone.
Thanos never wants Namgyu to be alone. Thanos wants to keep Namgyu by his side forever. Namgyu wants Thanos by his side forever too.
The taller says, “thank you.”
Namgyu hums gently, “you’re welcome.”
A moment of quiet, and then:
“Now, I’m going to take a photo of them and put them on Instagram so everyone knows that I have the best boyfriend ever and nobody else’s boyfriends could ever come close.”
That makes Namgyu chuckle, the expression on his face lighting up, and Thanos looks down at him at the same time Namgyu looks up.
Their gazes connect, and they both feel their hearts skip a beat beneath their chests. Namgyu knows when Thanos is bending the truth, because Thanos surprisingly isn’t a very good liar. He either avoids eye contact or starts giggling.
“You really like them?”
”I love them.”
A smile, “okay. That’s good.”
Thanos kisses Namgyu’s forehead. ”And hey,” he begins as he pulls backward, “there’s that beautiful smile of yours. I love that too, you know? Might just be one of my most favourite sights in the entire world—”
A fond, slightly embarrassed, “you’re such an idiot.”
Thanos thinks the way Namgyu’s face has gone bright red is adorable. And when the purple haired man goes to speak, Namgyu brings their lips together instead.
The flowers get put into the best vase they own, and maybe the only vase they own but still, and they’re displayed proudly on both Thanos’ Instagram story, in a saved highlight too, and their dining room table.
****
Instagram allows someone to post twenty photos at once now, and Namgyu finds himself being tagged in a post that contains exactly that amount of images. No more, no less.
He likes it immediately, before he even reads the caption, and then he does and he rolls his eyes. The roll of his eyes is half-fond, half-annoyed.
@officialthanos | one year with my namsu. ♥️
Namgyu’s comment under the post that gets almost as many likes as the actual post itself? it’s namgyu, dickhead <3
Notes:
red roses symbolise passionate love, while pink roses convey tenderness, gratitude, and appreciation. yellow roses express friendship and joy. purple roses represent enchantment, fascination, and love at first sight… and also that one villain from the marvel movies thanos gets his name from ig.
Chapter 3: words of affirmation.
Notes:
words of affirmation, as a love language, emphasizes the importance of verbal and written expressions of love, appreciation, and encouragement.
tw: panic attacks, mentions of past self-harm and suicidal thoughts. bullying mentioned too.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The moon sits in the sky, and it shines down on the group of drunk teenagers stumbling home after their night out on the town. It’s almost two in the morning, and they’re not the only people still awake at this hour.
He isn’t sure whether it’s the fact that he’s not in a familiar bed, despite the familiar body next to him, or the ball of anxiety slowly building within the base of his stomach that’s keeping him from sleep, but— no, no, it’s definitely the second thing.
Tomorrow night he’s set to perform to the biggest crowd he has ever had to stand in front of, and to say he’s terrified would be the absolute understatement of the century. That tough exterior just keeps on cracking the closer the starting time of the show gets.
When it was a month away it was fine, then two weeks was okay too, a week the nerves began settling in— now in about thirteen hours he’s going to be on a stage in London and there will not be one face he recognises within the crowd. Well, minus Namgyu, of course.
Performing in Korea he got used to the familiar faces that would appear at every other show, and now he’s international for the first time and suddenly it’s not as exciting as it once was. He’s only ever played in small venues back home. The most he’s performed in front of is about six-eight thousand.
It’s rather horrifying, actually, being here.
He’s not in a stadium, he’s not at Wembley or Stamford Bridge or anything of the sort. He’s in an arena that can seat up to 20,000. It’s quite the jump from the nightclubs and bars he’s used to playing in.
He hadn’t even thought the email was real when he was asked to perform here. He thought it was a joke and so he left it. It wasn’t until someone had actually called him to find out his answer did he realise a prank was not being played on him.
The arm around his waist is draped over him lightly, the arm belonging to his boyfriend of over two years. Even that touch is beginning to feel a little suffocating, and he hates that because normally Namgyu’s touch is the one thing that reminds him the world isn’t as scary as he sometimes believes it to be.
It’s warm in here, and it shouldn’t be because England is most definitely not a warm place like at any point of the year. Thanos hadn’t realised just how moody the country’s weather is. He hadn’t realised that the grey clouds were permanent and the smell of inevitable rain was a constant thing too.
He hadn’t realised just how much scones were loved here, and he’s never quite seen so many people holding take-away hot drinks before. One in every three people who’d passed him and Namgyu on the streets earlier must’ve had a coffee or tea or something along those lines in their hands.
He sits himself up slowly, and the energy that takes wipes him out almost completely. His arms feel weak supporting his body weight, and they tremble lightly as they struggle to keep him upright. He pushes himself off the bed, and he’s careful to not disturb Namgyu because he knows he gets irritable without at least eight hours of sleep.
Namgyu mumbles something in his sleep as he turns his head away from Thanos’ direction, and Thanos leans down to press a kiss to the side of his head. Namgyu sighs softly, and then he’s back within his dreams.
He’s beautiful, really, he is, and Thanos would marry him tomorrow if he was able to. Namgyu and his general presence are pieces of content peace in a world that’s always so loud, and yet Thanos finds himself moving away from him.
He doesn’t want to disturb Namgyu’s peace.
The hum of the bathroom light is irritably loud, and he closes the door behind him. He doesn’t lock it. He doesn’t do that anymore unless he’s in public or with other people and has to. The last time he locked himself in a bathroom, he was a teenager and his sister almost lost him.
A particular group of kids used to bully him a lot, and they bullied him in the way that they would make fun of literally anything about him they could think of. They knew his parents weren’t really around, so they’d make fun of that, and they knew he had a sister, so they’d make nasty comments about her too.
His only sanctuary in the school became the music classroom, and then that didn’t last long because they figured out that’s where he’d go during morning break and lunch time. They locked him in the storage cupboard for an hour one time, and to this day he still gets a little uneasy when a room is plunged into darkness with no warning.
To him it seemed that nobody wanted him around, and quickly he realised that he didn’t want to be around anymore either.
The healed scars on his arms are reminders of that fact, and they’re reminders too of where the Salesman had found him two years ago. They’re reminders of what he was about to do, what he was about to attempt for the second time.
If he had been successful that second time, or even that first, he’d never have started dating Namgyu, and his career never would’ve properly taken off, and he never would’ve met the wonderful friends he has, and he’d never have been able to meet his nephew.
The kid is due to be born in a few months, and his sister and her husband have a name picked out for him and everything. Namgyu even helped them decorate the nursery. His artistic touch had been greatly appreciated.
He’s so incredibly thankful that he’s still alive, and he thanks his lucky stars that Namgyu is alive too, because he knows his boyfriend has struggled in the same way he has.
He doesn’t know how long he’s been stood there for, but a tear falls to the back of his hand, and his brain finally registers the uneasy rise and fall of his own shoulders, and the fact that his lungs feel oddly restricted.
His body is slowly slipping away from him, slowly but surely no longer becoming his own, and his brain cannot seem to think of one breathing exercise he’s been taught in the past to help him calm down. His fingertips go numb, and the weight on his shoulders becomes heavier.
He moves to lean against the counter where the sinks are, and then his eyes fall closed because the light is suddenly too bright and his head is pounding. He feels as if someone is hitting his skull with a hammer over and over again.
Thanos has been here many times before, he knows what’s going to happen, he knows that the panic slowly building within him will eventually spill over and soon enough he won’t be able to breathe at all. He just needs to figure out how to stop it before it does.
He doesn’t have to do that alone, though.
The door to the bathroom opens slowly, he hears it do so, and then someone steps past the threshold and closes the door over once more. It’s quiet for a moment, and then he feels a chest against his chest, and arms securing themselves around his body, and the sob of relief he lets out shocks him so badly that his eyes fly open immediately.
”It’s okay,” Namgyu whispers, keeping the hold he has around Thanos’ body tight but not uncomfortably or suffocatingly so, “I’m here, it’s okay.”
Those words are enough to lighten some of that weight on his shoulders, those words are enough to make his brain register that he’s not alone and that he’s in the arms of someone he loves.
Namgyu presses a gentle kiss to Thanos’ neck, his head resting against the rapper’s left shoulder, and finally Thanos regains some control of his arms.
He returns Namgyu’s embrace, securing his arms around his lovers shoulders, and the tears continue to fall as he does so.
Namgyu can feel how fast his boyfriend’s heart is beating. He holds onto him a little longer, and then he pulls backward so he can see the other properly. His left hand makes its way to the right side of Thanos’ face. His right arm stays around his body.
”What’s going on, sweetheart?”
That damn nickname makes Thanos’ heart melt every time he hears it, and today is no different. He exhales shakily, and then shakes his head, and Namgyu knows what he means without him needing to verbally say anything.
So instead he places their foreheads together, and he uses his left thumb to slowly wipe the falling tears away.
A gentle encouragement, ”nice and slowly, yeah? In for four seconds, and out again for five.”
Thanos nods the best he can, and it feels weird because their foreheads are still connected. His eyes fall closed once more, and Namgyu waits a few seconds before slowly beginning to count for him.
The numbers come out slow, and the tone of his voice is one full of utter patience. Namgyu has always been patient with Thanos, and sometimes Thanos believes he’s too patient with him.
He follows his boyfriend’s instructions, and soon enough his shoulders rise and fall at a ‘normal’ rate, and his heart has calmed, and his head no longer feels as if it’s seconds away from blowing up.
Namgyu realises this, and he asks gently, “better?”
”Better,” Thanos confirms, and he opens his eyes to be greeted by the eyes he fell in love with so damn quickly, “thank you.”
”Of course,” Namgyu responds, and he places the softest kiss to Thanos’ lips. It’s a quick exchange, but it holds a million and one words.
”Can we—”
”We can.”
Namgyu pulls himself out of Thanos’ arms, and they both feel cold as soon as their bodies are disconnected and their limbs become their own again. Namgyu holds out his left hand, and Thanos takes it with no hesitation at all.
They make it half-way back to the bed before Namgyu removes his hands from Thanos’ and turns to him with a gentle instruction:
“Go lay down—”
”Where are you going?”
”I’m just going to turn the bathroom light off.”
”I’ll wait for you.”
Namgyu nods, and sends him a small smile, “okay.”
Thanos watches as Namgyu turns the light off, and he pulls the bathroom door back over again. Their hotel room is quite lovely, really. It’s decorated well but it’s also not overly decorated to the point of being messy.
The older of the two men only now realises, ”you’re wearing your glasses.”
”I am,” Namgyu says as he turns away from the bathroom door. His next words are said in a light-hearted way, “is that okay?”
“Yeah,” Thanos nods, “you look really pretty in them.”
A certain heat rises within him, and he doesn’t think he’s successful in fighting off the blush that threatens to appear on his face. “Thank you.”
”You’re welcome.”
They go back to bed then, Namgyu lies down first after taking his glasses off, and he rests on his left side so that he can have that arm extended outward. Thanos lies down beside of him, his neck resting comfortably on Namgyu’s arm.
”Ready to talk about it?”
”I think so.”
Namgyu kisses the top of his boyfriend’s head, “take your time.”
Thanos’ mind has always been a rather busy place, a lot of stuff happens up there and sometimes he’s awake until three in the morning scribbling down potential lyrics to new songs or album titles. Sometimes it takes Namgyu up to an hour to convince him to come to bed.
Drugs used to slow his mind a little, but he doesn’t do those anymore. He hasn’t since the games ended and he never wants to touch another one. Namgyu is the same.
”I’m nervous,” he says, “about tomorrow.”
It’s not the first time he’s been nervous for a show, and it most definitely won’t be the last.
”About anything specifically?”
There are a few things. He’s worried about forgetting the words to his songs, he’s worried about freezing up altogether and just sort of standing there awkwardly, and he’s worried he may fall over. He’s worried people will laugh at him. He’s worried they will all just stand there and the crowd will have no energy.
He’s worried that they’ll leave before the show is finished. What’s he supposed to do then? What on earth is he supposed to do if he’s fifteen minutes into a ninety minute show and there’s no crowd left for him to perform to?
”You think so loudly sometimes,” Namgyu says, and he bends the left arm that’s trapped beneath Thanos’ neck upward, bringing it closer to their bodies. He uses his hand to caress comforting circles to the side of his lovers face.
”I’m sorry.”
”Don’t apologise,” Namgyu says, “never apologise for that.”
Namgyu’s own mind works against him sometimes too. Not long after the games had finished, he’d had this awful nightmare about a certain fight that had occurred within the bathroom.
MG Coin had a damn fork in his pocket and tried to stab Thanos in the neck with it. Namgyu had realised what was happening, and he’d managed to push the rapper away so that the only thing left against his skin was four long lines that faded rather quickly into nothingness.
It was at that moment, panting on the bathroom floor together as guards came in to break up the fight, they realised that there truly was something else going on with them. They realised they didn’t want to simply be ‘just friends’ anymore, they both wanted something more.
Thanos had almost died in the same place they made love in for the first time, and in Namgyu’s nightmare he actually had.
It had been so real, and so when he didn’t feel Thanos at his side in bed, he’d broken down into hysterical tears because he thought he was alone, he thought Thanos had died and that he wasn’t coming back.
But then he was brought into a pair of familiar arms, and a familiar voice whispered to him over and over again that it was okay, that they were okay, and it took a while but eventually Namgyu’s cries had exhausted him so much that he’d fallen asleep in his boyfriends arms. One moment he was sobbing, and the next he’d gone completely limp.
Thanos didn’t go back to bed that night, instead he laid awake beside Namgyu to make sure he was there if something like that were to happen again. He wanted to make sure that Namgyu remained content in his sleep.
They spoke about it the next day, and Thanos had no problem with Namgyu becoming, what was essentially, his shadow for the remainder of the waking hours. Namgyu fell asleep that night with his head resting against the left side of his boyfriend’s chest. The sound of Thanos’ heartbeat had lulled him into a deep sleep.
They don’t speak to MG Coin even now, not really, anyway. If they bump into each other for whatever reason, they exchange pleasantries but never actually go out of their way to communicate with him.
MG Coin is the same. He offers them smiles from the other side of the street, but they don’t go running into each other’s arms like best friends reuniting after months apart.
Myung-gi did manage to make things work with Jun-hee anyway, and they’re happy together, and both Thanos and Namgyu think their daughter is utterly adorable. She must be almost two now, maybe she already is two, she was born not long after their games ended.
Jun-hee had been closely monitored in the hospital after escaping the island, she didn’t go back to the hotel with the rest of them.
They do still communicate with some others from the games, though.
They have their group of five, which may soon become a group of six on the odd occasion because recently Min-su has been getting suspiciously close to that Dae-ho guy from Gi-hun’s group.
They speak to Jun-ho still, and they speak to Kim too. They sort of owe it to them for saving their lives. Without them they’d most likely be rotting under water somewhere.
Jun-ho and Kim are dating, and from what Thanos and Namgyu know, they’ve been a ‘thing’ since the games ended. Or at the very least they were ‘eye fucking’ each other on that boat.
Thanos always did wonder why their gazes seemed to linger on each other longer than what they did on anyone else.
In-ho and Gi-hun are together too, for about the same amount of time as the rest of them, and Thanos and Namgyu didn’t really see that one coming, but apparently everybody else did. Oh well.
”I’m scared of it all.”
”Oh yeah?”
”Yeah,” Thanos nods, “I’m worried that I’m going to make a complete fool of myself, and I’m worried that I’m going to forget my words, and just— I’m basically worried about like everything that could go wrong.”
Namgyu hums, and he takes a second to think of how to reply. “Thank you for telling me,” he begins, and then, “I understand why you’re nervous, and of course it’s okay to be nervous...”
Quiet, and then Namgyu asks:
”Can I tell you something?”
Thanos hums, and the noise translates to a ‘yes’.
”I think you are going to do amazingly tomorrow,” Namgyu says, “and I think that within five minutes of being on that stage, you’re going to forget why you were nervous in the first place. And if you forget a lyric or two, so what? Loads of musicians forget the words to their songs. The most important thing, sweetheart, is that you go out there and you have fun.”
”Namsu—”
”And I believe in you, yeah? You— you’ve come so far and I could not be more proud of you if I tried. You’ll go out there tomorrow and you’ll make that stage your own just like you do with every single stage you walk on back home.”
”I want to go back to the Pentagon.”
Namgyu chuckles gently, “I think you’re a bit too popular for us now, love.”
”Nope,” Thanos shakes his head, “I will never be too popular for there. It’s a special place—”
”Is it?”
”Yeah,” he says, “it’s where we met for the first time.”
Namgyu’s amused expression falls to one of fondness, and he presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s hair. “You’re so cute when you want to be.”
”I know.”
Thanos’ left arm makes its way over Namgyu’s waist, and he shuffles impossibly closer to him. Namgyu allows him to do so.
”Do you really think I’ll be okay tomorrow?”
”I do,” Namgyu nods, “and you know I wouldn’t lie to you. I’m here to support you, and supporting you is one of my most favourite things to do. Watching you live your dream has been incredible, and I can’t wait to see what else you may do in the future.”
”Namsu—”
”And if you decide tomorrow that you really don’t want to do the show, if it becomes too much, we can figure something out, okay? I wouldn’t ever force you to do anything you don’t want to.”
”I know,” Thanos nods, and then, “thank you.”
”What for?”
”Everything,” the taller says, “ thank you for being here with me, and for loving me, and for reminding me that it’s okay to be scared and nervous about certain things. I— I love you, so much, and I appreciate all that you do for me. Truly.”
Namgyu smiles, “I love you too. And all I do for you is exactly what you do for me.”
They’re each other’s rocks, each other’s anchors, and in some way they always have been. Before the games, before they ever even had a proper conversation, Namgyu’s gaze always seemed to be the one Thanos’ found, no matter if he was on stage or sitting in a booth in the corner of the club.
He often visited the Pentagon just to see him, that cute promoter who always seemed to look in his direction at the right time. He has yet to admit that aloud. Namgyu just caught his attention so easily. Thanos is fairly certain he fell in love with him the moment he first saw him.
Namgyu is fairly certain he fell in love with Thanos that way too, even if he did think he was incredibly annoying at first. Every time he was told the rapper would be performing, it was a mixture of both dread and excitement he would feel.
The crowds followed him everywhere and made the shift difficult, but at the same time, Namgyu got to see him. It took a while for them to actually speak to each other, but Thanos had stuck around after the closing shift to see Namgyu, and Namgyu appreciated the effort so didn’t deny him a conversation.
A conversation that very quickly turned to a heated kiss, a kiss that involved their hands exploring every part of each other’s bodies they could comfortably reach, a kiss that got interrupted almost as soon as it began.
They never spoke about what happened, and they didn’t in the games, not immediately anyway, but Namgyu would give Thanos free drinks, and Thanos would always send a wink his way as he did so.
Then they did talk about it. They laid side by side in Thanos’ bunk, and the drugs in their system forced them to admit things they were preparing themselves to admit anyway. They kissed, and Thanos admitted to Namgyu just how beautiful he thought he was, and Namgyu called Thanos an idiot before bringing him back in for another kiss.
The following night they ended up in the bathroom stall with nobody else around, and well we all know what happened from there.
A month after the games had ended, and after a month of living together, they officially took their relationship to the next level. They became boyfriends.
Namgyu has always been there for him, and Thanos has always been there for Namgyu too. They don’t plan to change that routine. They love it too much the way it is.
”Let’s get some sleep, okay? And we can talk again in the morning.”
Thanos hums, and he buries his face into Namgyu’s neck. Namgyu’s right arm drapes itself over Thanos’ body, and he holds him securely as they prepare to dream together.
A whisper against the shorter man’s neck, “I love you.”
”I love you too.”
Maybe, just maybe, Thanos’ dream contains them in a home with matching wedding bands on their ring fingers— but that’s for him to keep to himself for now.
****
Ultimately, Namgyu’s words of encouragement had been the main reason as to why Thanos had gone through with the show as planned, and what a show it had been.
The English crowd weren’t certain of his lyrics in general, or the correct pronunciation of the words, but they cheered and danced for the entire ninety minutes he was on the stage for. It’s ironic, really, the way they made him feel a little bit like a king, since the country itself is ruled by one.
Namgyu had watched on from the VIP tent, and the expression of pure adoration and pride on his face did not shift once throughout the entire performance. Thanos made that stage his own, exactly how he knew he would.
He stuck around for a while even after Thanos had finished performing, and he heard a few people saying that they were going to look into more of his music, and download a few of the songs he’d performed. One girl even said she was going to recommend him to a friend as the friend in question is a big fan of rap.
Some were even humming the tunes to the songs as they left, and his heart swelled listening to their excited chatter.
Now he’s backstage too, and he’s leant only somewhat awkwardly against a wall, a bright red wall, may he add, waiting for his boyfriend to appear. His phone is in his right hand, and he’s scrolling aimlessly through Instagram.
Se-mi has posted a collection of pictures, she’s currently on a trip herself. She’s in France and is seemingly having the time of her life. He learns that she’s been by the Eiffel Tower today, and she adores the hot chocolate there too.
Then a door closes, and his attention is caught by the man who has just joined him in the room. A smile appears on his face immediately, and he gets his phone into his back pocket just in time for Thanos to cross the room and pull him into his arms.
Namgyu chuckles, and he wraps his arms around Thanos’ neck in order to return the embrace, and then when they’ve separated, Thanos cups his face in his hands and kisses him like it’s the last time he’s going to be able to do it.
The action he melts into with ease, and then their foreheads are attached once their lips part.
He asks, tone fond and amused, ”happy then?”
”So happy.”
Namgyu hums and then, “I’m so proud of you. And I hope you’re proud of yourself too.”
”I am,” Thanos nods, “and thank you. I— having you here, I know I’ve said it before, but it means a lot to me.”
”You don’t have to thank me, though it’s appreciated,” Namgyu replies, and Thanos puts a small gap between their foreheads so he can tilt his head to the side. Namgyu says to him, “I’d follow you anywhere.”
The words are spoken filled with love, and Thanos’ adoration for this man grows with every day that passes. “I’d follow you anywhere too.”
”Even to an Art gallery tomorrow before we go home?”
Thanos frowns, “oh but they’re so boring.”
“They are not boring.”
“They are, everything is so damn quiet all the time and I can just hear everyone breathing and their shoes smacking on the floor.”
”It’s quiet so people can appreciate the Art.”
A pause, and then, ”I can be the Art?”
”No.”
”Oh, but—”
”Absolutely not.”
Thanos sighs and Namgyu chuckles softly.
”You are Art, my love, but you’re only for me to enjoy.”
”So people can’t come to my concerts anymore?”
”Huh?”
”You said I was only for you to enjoy, so that means that nobody can watch and enjoy my shows anym—”
Namgyu silences him with a kiss, and it’s Thanos’ most favourite way to be silenced. Namgyu whispers against his lips, “you know what I meant.”
”I did,” Thanos hums, and kisses him once more, “shall we go back to the hotel now?”
”Yes,” Namgyu nods, “yes please.”
Once they get back to the hotel, and the door is locked behind them, Thanos has Namgyu against the door in a matter of seconds, and as their hands explore every inch of each other’s bodies, their lips only separating when necessary, their clothes are removed in a record speed.
****
@officialthanos | two of the greatest views in london yesterday 🏴
And yes the first image is the crowd he performed to, because a photographer sent him the photo the following morning, and the second image is his Namgyu because obviously.
Notes:
thanos would so write a song like ‘ordinary’ by alex warren for namgyu and it ends up becoming his most popular one despite being in a completely different style than what he’s used to.
also the niall horan lyric ‘if the whole world was watching, i’d still dance with you’ is so them.
Chapter 4: acts of service.
Summary:
acts of service focuses on showing love and affection through practical actions and helpful deeds, rather than words or gifts. it’s about making your partner's life easier and showing you care through tangible tasks and support.
Chapter Text
“Do you know how much better that shirt would look on the floor of this bedroom right now?”
Namgyu rolls his eyes, and he looks over to where his boyfriend of three years is lying on their bed, his back against the headboard. They’ve been in their new home for a few months now, and they’re settling in very well.
”I’m sure it would look wonderful there,” he says, doing up the last few buttons of his white shirt, “but I have to work so it has to stay on me.”
”Well that’s just boring.”
”I’m sure you’ll get over it.”
”I won’t.”
”Sounds like it’s your problem then.”
Thanos sighs, and he watches as Namgyu’s hands fiddle with the last button, the one that’s just beneath his throat and awfully uncomfortable when it’s warm.
”Keep that one undone.”
”Stop being weird.”
”I’m not,” he says, “just trying to help you out.”
”Like you just had to help me get into the shower yesterday?”
”You had a great time in that shower. There are plenty of marks on your hips and shoulders to prove it.”
Heat rises in Namgyu’s body, and he turns away because he’s painfully aware of the blush appearing across his face. His arms fall to his sides with a frustrated groan, completely giving up on the button. The rapper chuckles lightly, and their bed creaks a little as he moves off of it.
Thanos stands behind Namgyu, wrapping his arms around the shorter’s waist and pulling him backward so that their bodies are connected. A small sigh gets released from the back of Namgyu’s throat when Thanos presses a kiss to his jawline, and then another just a little lower.
He tilts his head to the left to give the other man better access to his skin, what he can reach of it, and Thanos nips gently at his exposed neck. A slight grind of the taller man’s hips seems to snap Namgyu back to reality, and he lifts his right hand to lightly push Thanos’ head away.
”You’re so annoying.”
”And yet you still love me.”
Namgyu hums, and he turns in Thanos’ hold so that he can cup his boyfriend’s face within his hands. Their lips are brought together, and they’re both painfully aware of the problem stirring in the lower half of their bodies.
And then the familiar sound of Namgyu’s phone echoes throughout the room, and Thanos pulls back and makes his way back over to the bed. He sits down at the end of the mattress, and when Namgyu realises it’s his Mum that’s calling him, he mutters a soft ‘shit’ and leaves the room to answer the call.
Thanos is left alone, and so he decides to look around their bedroom. They’re mostly unpacked now, but they’re both not in any rush to get the boxes sorted out. They’ve had family members over to help, and Namgyu’s sister had been very fascinated by the music studio they have. She opted to help Thanos in there, and of course he was more than happy to have her as an assistant.
Opposite the music room is Namgyu’s Art room, but that Art room is also crossed with what is essentially a library at this point. Both of these rooms are located upstairs where they are now. Their home has three bedrooms total, it’s big enough to have family and friends alike stay over if they wish too.
And they will, the five of them are planning to have a ‘sleepover’ soon.
There’s of course a bathroom upstairs. This bathroom must be covered by some sort of protective layering before any hair dyeing takes place.
Downstairs are the pretty standard housing rooms: kitchen, dining room, lounge, another bathroom but this one doesn’t have any sort of shower or bath in it.
Namgyu comes back into the room, and it’s clear he’s agitated about something, so Thanos tilts his head out of curiosity. Namgyu’s phone gets tossed to rest beside where Thanos is sat.
”Everything okay?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu responds, hands going back to that damn top button that still won’t do up, “yeah, no, it was just Mum.”
”What did she need?”
”Sang-mi’s got that homework club after school, and Mum’s been told she has to work late today so she asked if I could pick her up,” he explains, “but obviously I can’t, so I think she’s trying to sort something out with her boss, but we both know that her boss is a bit of a dickhead so—”
He hums, and then offers without thinking, “I can go and pick her up from school?”
Namgyu blinks, his hands stilling, “what?”
Thanos has no idea why his boyfriend looks so shocked right now. ”I’ve done it before.”
”With me.”
”Yeah,” Thanos nods, “but I am an adult, I’m quite capable—”
”I never said you weren’t,” Namgyu responds, “do you even remember where the school is?”
”We have picked her up plenty of times,” and he lifts his right hand for dramatic effect, “I know the route like the back of my hand.”
The offer is a sweet one, and he is incredibly thankful for it, but he doesn’t want Thanos to think that he has to get her if he doesn’t want to.
”Are you sure?”
”I am,” Thanos nods, and he stands and makes his way over to his boyfriend. He moves Namgyu’s hands from the button, the shorter man’s arms falling to his sides, and he does it up himself, “if that’s alright with you and your Mum, though, of course.”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, “of course it will be. And she’ll be happy to see you, you know?”
Thanos’ eyes flick up from the top of the shirt to his boyfriend’s kind eyes, “she will?”
”She loves you. I think she loves you more than she loves me.”
”No she doesn’t.”
”She just might,” he says, “though she did tell her friend to take their ‘Legend Thanos’ badge off their bag because it was weird.”
”Her friend has great musical taste.”
”I don’t know,” Namgyu says, and he’s painfully aware of the fact that Thanos’ hands are still on the top button of his shirt, “I think it could use some work.”
”Oh, you do, do you?”
”I do.”
Thanos sighs, and he drops his hands so that they hang at his sides. “That’s a really mean thing to say to the love of your life who is going to pick up your little sister from school.”
Namgyu chuckles fondly, the sound soft, and places a kiss to Thanos’ lips. “I love you, love of my life.”
”That’s much better,” the rapper nods, “and I love you too.”
”I’m going to let Mum know, alright? And then I’ll be back,” before Thanos can reply, Namgyu moves past him to grab his phone, and then he disappears out of the room once more.
Thanos stands there for a bit, and then he decides he doesn’t want to anymore so instead he follows after Namgyu. He hears him talking, and then the talking stops, and then he appears from behind the corner:
”Mum says thank you and she loves you.”
And she really does. She is always telling Thanos how thankful she is that Namgyu met him, even if she does think that his name is a little strange. When Thanos says that only Namgyu is allowed to call him by his real name, he means it.
His own sister, Nam-ra, calls him it whenever she’s annoyed with him, though, which luckily in recent years isn’t often.
”Tell her I love her too?”
”I already did.”
Thanos nods a ‘thank you’, and Namgyu realises that Thanos won’t know what time to get her. She’ll be there later than normal because of this supposed homework club, which sounds like the most boring thing in the world to both Namgyu and Thanos but they would never tell her that.
”Her club lasts for around an hour, so she should be done by half five. If you could get there for that time, that would be great.”
”Half five,” Thanos nods, “no later but potentially earlier.”
”Exactly,” Namgyu nods, “and thank you, really, we appreciate it.”
”Oh it’s no problem,” the taller says, “she’s a good kid, and she’s funny too.”
Namgyu isn’t certain he likes the implication, “funny how?”
Thanos narrows his gaze slightly as he thinks of an excuse. He is not about to inform Namgyu of his and Sang-mi’s gossip sessions. “Nothing.”
”Nothing?”
He realises that reply didn’t really make sense, but he nods and sticks to it, “nothing.”
Namgyu isn’t convinced, but he nods anyway and then heads downstairs. Thanos follows closely behind him.
”So just to be clear,” he begins, “I’m bringing her here, yeah?”
”Yes,” Namgyu nods.
”And am I making her dinner?”
”No, you’re not giving my little sister food poisoning.”
Thanos rolls his eyes, “oh my god, Namsu, I gave you food poisoning once!”
“Twice,” Namgyu says, picking up his keys from the coffee table in the lounge. He turns to find Thanos stood right behind him. He places his free hand against his boyfriend’s chest, and places a quick kiss to his lips, “you gave me food poisoning twice.”
”It was an accident.”
”I know,” Namgyu nods, “but you’re not making her dinner. You can order something.”
”I can’t even try?”
”No, Su-bong, no you cannot.”
”Fuck.”
”And none of that language around her either.”
”I know.”
Namgyu smiles, and kisses Thanos once more, “good.”
Then Namgyu is gone, he moves through the house, collecting his bag from the floor as he does so, and heads out of the front door, and Thanos just sort of stares blankly at the closed door for a second before it opens again.
Namgyu grins, “love you!”
Thanos matches the expression, “I love you too!”
And then, after a wave, Namgyu really is gone, and Thanos has about two hours to himself before he has to go and get Sang-mi from school.
He’s always thought it funny that her name starts with the same letter as his, and that their respective older sibling’s names both start with an N.
Namgyu and Sang-mi.
Nam-ra and Su-bong.
Thanos decides on cleaning the house the best he can for her impending arrival. He sorts the clothes that need washing because yes he can do that with little to no trouble at all. He mostly figured it out because he knows how much Namgyu hates doing it.
Once the house looks a little more presentable, he’s kicked boxes they still have to sort out to the corner of the room and has made somewhat of a Jenga tower with them, he sits down and waits until it’s five.
He decides to walk to the school, he could use the fresh air and there won’t be many people around anyway.
****
There’s a light breeze in the upstairs corridor of the school because the caretaker has yet to shut all of the windows. She’s on the second floor, and she’s heading slowly towards the stairwell that’ll take her to the first one.
Homework club was about as fun as it sounds— so it was incredibly dull. She doesn’t think she’s yawned so much before. It was her teacher who suggested she’d attend, and now she has a new least favourite teacher.
There are footsteps following after her, and she doesn’t need to look back to know who it is. There’s only one person who will run at her full speed and manage to not fall straight over as he slows down.
An arm is secured over her shoulders, and she’s pulled into her friend’s side. She looks up at him and smiles, and he looks down at her and mirrors the expression.
”That was the most boring sixty minutes of my life.”
”I agree,” Sang-mi nods, and as she turns to face forward once more, she uses her right hand to push a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
Ha-joon looks away and he won’t tell her, not yet, not for another three years, but he thinks she’s really pretty. She thinks he’s really handsome, and they both adore each other’s personalities and being in each other’s presence.
They’ll both be sixteen before they inform each other of their crushes on one another. They won’t know their feelings are mutual until that one moment in back of the classroom after piano club has ended.
They won’t know their feelings are mutual until Ha-joon finally tells her how he feels, and she tells him she feels the same, and then he’ll cradle her face within his hands like she’s the most precious human on earth, because to him she is, and then they’ll kiss.
”Any plans for the weekend?”
She shrugs lightly, “I don’t think so, why?”
”Well this new little cafe just opened up,” he says, “I was going to get a group of people to check it out? Would you be interested in coming?”
She considers, and then nods, “yeah, I’d love too.”
The nerves that had been building within him subside, and he smiles, “great. That’s— that’s great.”
She hums, and then they reach the stairs so he drops his arm from her shoulders and they walk down side by side. He’s clumsy when it comes to stairs, he might very well fall down and he doesn’t want to accidentally take her with him.
They get to the bottom, and his arm returns to around her shoulders again. It’s quite nice, how easily it fits there. They both greet a teacher, the science one, and then they leave out of the schools main building.
The cool air greets them and it’s rather refreshing, and then Ha-joon spots his Dad’s car in the car park, so he turns to her as they stop walking.
”I’ll see you on Sunday then?”
”Most likely,” she nods, and he sends her a smile, and then there’s a weird atmosphere in the air but they both ignore it. They wish each other a good evening, and then Ha-joon disappears, and he has to do a double take before he gets into the car because he swears a famous rapper is in the car park too.
Sang-mi doesn’t know who’s picking her up, she assumes it’s Mum and she isn’t here yet, so she wanders down the stairs of the car park as Ha-joon as his Dad leave. She sends them both a wave as they go, and they wave back.
Then there’s a cheer from somewhere at her side, “little Señorita!”
The voice is one she recognises instantly, and a bright smile appears on her face. She turns to see Thanos waving at her using both of his hands, and she giggles before rushing up to him, slotting herself into his awaiting arms with ease. He ruffles her hair with his left hand as he returns the embrace with his right arm.
”I didn’t know you were picking me up!”
”Your Mum got called to work late and Namsu has work too,” he explains, “and so here I am!”
“You didn’t mind coming to get me?”
”Not at all,” he shakes his head as she steps back from the hug. She has the exact same eyes as Namgyu. “I was the one who offered, actually.”
”That was kind of you.”
”Well what can I say? I am a delight.”
She rolls her eyes, the action fond, and then he holds out his left hand.
”Your bag?”
Sang-mi passes it to him, and Thanos immediately puts the strap over his left shoulder. Her bag is light blue and it matches her school uniform. Namgyu has always been rather jealous that his sister’s school uniform is blue and his had been green.
”Am I coming to your house then?”
”You are,” Thanos nods, and they begin a slow walk out of the car park, “is that alright?”
”Yeah,” she nods with a smile, “of course it is.”
”How was your club?”
”Boring,” she says, “and stupid.”
Thanos hums, having expected that answer. “What would you like for dinner today?”
”I will eat anything.”
Thanos chuckles, “perfect.”
They talk about anything and everything they can think of as they walk home, and Thanos has a few questions about who the boy holding her so close had been.
She hadn’t even realised that he had seen them.
She tells him he’s just a friend, and then dismisses the conversation completely. He goes along with it, but secretly he’s not convinced.
He opens the door for her when they eventually reach the house, and Sang-mi sends him a nod as a ‘thank you’ as she steps inside. He follows after her, and the door closes behind them.
****
It’s midnight when he opens the door of his home, and the darkness of the house leads him to assume that he’s probably the only one awake. He expects Sang-mi to be asleep in the guest room due to her age, but he’d thought Thanos would’ve waited up for him like he normally does.
It disappoints him, a little, that his boyfriend’s arms don’t immediately wrap around him. He shuts the door, and he does that slowly so that he doesn’t disturb the quiet house, and he abandons his bag to the floor. He can’t be bothered to sort it out tonight, he’ll do it in the morning.
He enters the lounge, and his heart swells instantly at the sight he’s greeted by. The television is playing static, the light being the reason as to why he can make out their figures through the darkness, it’s on standby and hasn’t been touched for quite some time.
Thanos is sat next to the arm of the sofa, his elbow resting there and his right arm is supporting his head as he sleeps. Sang-mi is tucked closely beside him, slightly curled in on herself with her head on Thanos’ left shoulder, also fast asleep.
He’s always loved how well they get along. He hadn’t really been nervous to introduce them, because Sang-mi is very fond of almost everyone she meets and Thanos, really, is quite easy to like. Thanos gets her presents all the time when he’s on tour. She’s got some sort of keyring or teddy bear from most places around the world.
Namgyu doesn’t turn the light of the lounge on, but he does turn the one in the entryway on so that the lounge is illuminated ever so slightly.
”Su-bong,” he begins softly, not wanting to awake his sister. He approaches the sofa where they’re sleeping, and he presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s purple hair. Thanos stirs slightly under his touch, and then he stills again.
Namgyu moves to stand in front of the pair, and he places a kiss to Thanos’ forehead. “Honey,” he begins, pulling back, “you with me?”
Thanos groans, and his eyes slowly open. He seems to register the fact that Sang-mi is currently using him as a pillow because he keeps his movements to a limit.
Once his vision is cleared, and his head is removed from his right hand, he winces slightly at the dull ache in his neck. Then he looks up, and he’s greeted by one of his most favourite faces, “you’re home?”
”I’m home,” Namgyu nods, “how has your evening been?”
”It was good,” Thanos mumbles, brain still catching up to the current conversation, “we had dinner, she did her homework, and we tried to watch a movie but we must’ve fallen asleep half-way through.”
”Did she mention how her club was?”
”She said it was stupid.”
Namgyu nods, and he expected that to be the response. He and Thanos hadn’t told her when she’d mentioned the club to them a few weeks ago, but they both thought it sounded incredibly boring.
They sort of just sent each other a certain look, and had an entire conversation in silence over the span of about five seconds.
Namgyu moves to sit down beside Sang-mi, because his legs are aching from being on them for most of the evening. He exhales contently, and then there’s a small gasp.
“Namsu,” Thanos suddenly whispers, “I need to tell you something.”
Namgyu turns to him, and whispers back, intrigued, “what?”
”I think she has a boyfriend.”
Namgyu’s brain short circuits, and he just has to know whether or not he’s heard his partner correctly, ”a what?!”
”A boyfriend,” he confirms with a nod, “she was walking out of school and this boy had his arm around her, and h— ow!”
Namgyu is confused, watching Thanos clutch the general area of his left rib cage, his face contorted into an expression of pain. Thanos turns to the girl beside him, and he sends her a glare, a glare that’s not entirely serious, through the darkness.
”That was really mean.”
”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” comes Sang-mi’s quiet response, and Namgyu realises then she must’ve elbowed him in the side.
Namgyu asks, “do I not get a hello?”
”I think I’m really wounded over here.”
Thanos is reminded of just how alike Sang-mi and Namgyu are when she says in response, ”i’m sure you’ll get over it.”
Flabbergasted, not quite believing his ears, Thanos gasps, and Namgyu watches on with an amused smile on his face as the two interact, “I cannot believe you would say such a thing to me!”
”Shush! I’m sleeping.”
”Oh you elbow people in your sleep, do you?”
”When they’re called Thanos, yeah.”
”I am really upset right now.”
”No, you’re not.”
”Yes, I am.”
”No, you’re not.”
”I’m crying and e-everything.”
She opens her eyes, just to make sure that he’s not, and she fights the urge to elbow him again when she’s greeted by his smiling face.
”Haha, tricked you.”
She tuts, shaking her head, ”so immature.”
”Immature? Me? Never.”
”You are literally the definition of immature.”
”Namsu,” Thanos turns to his boyfriend, “your sister is being mean to me.”
”Namgyu,” Sang-mi sits up, and she purposely blocks Thanos from Namgyu’s view, “your boyfriend is being immature.”
”I think you’re both being quite immature right now.”
The two let out matching gasps, both placing their hands over their hearts at the exact same time, and Namgyu finds it both amusing and incredibly endearing.
”Can you believe that, Sang-mi?”
”He called us immature, Thanos?!”
“I’d hoped I’d made it up!”
”Unfortunately, you did not!”
”What ever do we do now?!”
”We could give him the silent treatment?”
”No, I like to talk too much.”
Sang-mi almost breaks character due to that comment, and it’s clear she’s holding back laughter. “We could— no, that’s all I had.”
”For now we’ll remain civil, and we’ll think of something in the morning.”
”Okay,” she nods, and then she realises, “wait, I’m staying over?”
”If you’d like to,” Namgyu nods, “your bag is still here in the guest room from the last time you stayed over.”
”Yes please,” she nods, and it’s a Friday so she doesn’t even have to go home early tomorrow, “can we have pancakes in the morning please?!”
”Of course we can!”
She turns to Thanos, “you’re not going to make them, are you?”
“I don’t like where this is going—”
”You gave my brother food poisoning like twice.”
Namgyu nods, “that’s true.”
Thanos rolls his eyes, and he leans back into the sofa, ”you know, I’m really starting to not like either of you.”
Sang-mi frowns, “well that’s not very nice.”
Oh how the tables have suddenly turned. Namgyu adds, ”It’s not, you’re right.”
A half-joke, “oh, look at the time, let’s go to bed.”
”But—”
”No.”
”He’s right, Sang-mi, it’s late.”
”But how late?”
”It’s like midnight.”
”Damn.”
”Come on, up you go.”
She sighs, but listens to her brother’s instruction, and makes her way over to the stairs, but she pauses and she turns back around just before entering the entryway. “Thanks for picking me up today,” she says in Thanos’ direction, “love you.”
He smiles at her, “love you too, kid.”
And with that, she’s gone. She rushes upstairs and toward the guest room that might as well be her room at this point.
”Notice how I never got a love you?”
”She’ll come back to say it, don’t worry.”
Namgyu hums, and leans his head against the top of the sofa. Thanos slides over to him, and he places his right hand onto the left side of Namgyu’s face. It’s clear he’s exhausted, and he smells of alcohol. He gently encourages Namgyu to look at him, which he does.
He leans down and attaches their lips, and they kiss lazily for a few minute before the top stair creaks and they pull apart. No other stair makes any sound, though.
Sang-mi asks from a distance away, “you’re not kissing down there, are you?”
”Not anymore.”
They can practically see the cringe on her face when she says upon the realisation that they had been kissing, “oh, ew.”
She makes her way down the stairs, and the two men pull apart as she does so. In her arms is a stuffed Panda toy. The Panda’s name Namgyu can never remember. She’s had it since she was two, though, and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to leave her side any time soon. She’s in her pyjamas.
”Goodnight,” she says, “I love you both.”
Namgyu sends her a smile, and so does Thanos. Namgyu says, “we love you too.”
”No more kissing.”
Sang-mi looks at them both with a glare, and then she rushes back up the stairs. She’ll take her hair down before she falls asleep. She doesn’t like sleeping with it up unless it’s in braids.
”No more kissing,” Thanos scoffs, “unlikely.”
Namgyu chuckles, and then he places his hands onto the back of Thanos’ head and joins their lips once more. They remain downstairs for a while before heading up to their own room, they mostly spoke about how Namgyu’s shift went.
On the way through the corridor, Namgyu stopped to peek inside the guest room, the door of which was already slightly open.
Sang-mi is fast asleep, and she seems content within her dream so he leaves her. She knows where they are if she needs them for whatever reason in the middle of the night.
They fall asleep essentially at the same time, wrapped up in each other’s arms.
And everything is okay.
Chapter 5: physical touch.
Notes:
the physical touch love language emphasises expressing and receiving affection through physical contact.
babies first smut scene please be nice :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Their bedroom is illuminated by the sunrise creeping through the small gap in the curtains, and the bedsheets are long abandoned at the end of the mattress. Their clothes from yesterday are screwed up in random locations after having been thrown carelessly to the floor the night before.
A pair of familiar hands come to rest on either side of his hips, and Namgyu moans softly into the warm air of their bedroom as he begins a slow grind of his hips, adjusting comfortably to the pleasureful intrusion within his body.
His hands are resting on his boyfriend’s shoulders, and their bodies, slick with sweat, fit together in the same content way they normally do. They’re like two connecting pieces of the same puzzle, and two sides of the same coin.
They might as well become one person, joined in the intimate way that they are. Thanos presses a kiss to Namgyu’s neck, and his arms move to wrap around his waist instead.
“That’s good?”
The response he receives is a broken whine, and Namgyu’s body, still somewhat fuelled by their activities last night, is already feeling as if it’s on fire. The grind of his hips quickens, and Thanos groans softly against the skin of his boyfriend’s neck.
Namgyu’s right arm hooks itself around Thanos’ neck, and the series of gentle gasps he releases right beside the musician’s ear drives the taller man to near insanity. He lifts his body ever so slightly upward, and then moves downward again, and repeats this continuously.
The sweetest sounds always leave Namgyu’s body when they have sex, and Thanos finds them addicting. The shorter man’s moans, and his pleas, and his whining is like music to his ears, a song he could never get tired of, a song he wants to hear over and over again.
It’s a song he feels incredibly honoured that only he gets to hear.
Namgyu’s hips works faster, and Thanos’ own body begins meeting his boyfriend’s increasingly desperate grinds. His hips buck, and Namgyu moans loudly when that spot inside of him is hit for the first time.
Thanos smirks against his skin, and he knows for certain now where to aim for. He uses the hold he has on Namgyu’s body to change their position in one swift movement. He lies Namgyu down beneath him, the younger man’s head coming to rest against the pillows of their bed.
”Still okay?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, his legs securing themselves around Thanos’ waist, the heels of his feet digging into the base of the rapper’s back as a silent plea to have him closer, deeper. His hands remain clutched against Thanos’ shoulders, his eyes are glossed over.
”Namsu—”
”Please,” he gasps, and Thanos finds the way Namgyu is beginning to roll his hips downward in desperation both incredibly endearing and incredibly hot.
”Please what, baby?”
”Fuck me, please.”
And who is Thanos to deny him such a request when the other has asked so nicely? He joins their lips together in a kiss, and Namgyu immediately returns it, melting into the action with ease, and their lips only part when Thanos begins thrusting in and out of his boyfriend’s body.
Namgyu whines into the air once more, and then that sound gets cut off by a low moan that goes straight to Thanos’ head. The rapper buries his face into his boyfriend’s neck, biting at the skin there in a way that’s bound to leave marks.
Their bodies work together so well, and they always have done and they always will do. The sounds of their love making fills their room, and quite potentially other areas of their home too. Their moans and groans mixed with the connection of their skin echoes off every wall.
”Fuck,” Thanos’ voice is deep and filled with a certain passion that drives Namgyu crazy. The snapping of his hips gets impossibly faster, “fuck, Namsu, do you see what you do to me? What you’ve always done to me?”
Yesterday’s night of passion means they won’t last as long as they normally do, and that fact they don’t mind. Their nights are often on the more wild side, the teasing drawn out for so long, the actual sex itself nowhere near as tender as this is. ‘Rough’ perhaps isn’t the best word to use, but it’s the closest one Thanos could think of.
They’ve had five years to get to know each other’s bodies, five years to study each and every detail of one another. They know and they respect each other limitations, and they’re always as focused on each other’s pleasure as they are their own.
Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both parties, and both Namgyu and Thanos always ensure that they’re on the same page about certain things. It’s important to do so. It’s so incredibly important.
In the mornings they take things slower, the action is filled with more a calm lust than anything else. It’s gentle, and the dirty talk is mostly kept to a minimum. Their mouths can get filthy when they want them to.
”Feels good,” Namgyu moans, “so good, please.”
They’re not using protection, and so when Thanos feels that familiar warmth begin to pool within him, and he can feel Namgyu beginning to tremble beneath him, the shorter man’s moans now a pitch higher than they normally are, he asks, “where, fuck, where do you want it, Namsu?”
Namgyu opens his mouth to speak, but then another moan is simply released from his body instead. Thanos captures the end of the sound into his mouth, and Namgyu kisses him back with a certain urgency.
Thanos disconnects their lips, and he keeps their foreheads connected, his words leave his lips through soft pants, “talk to me, baby, wh-where do you want it?”
”Inside,” Namgyu pleads, his face beginning to contort into that addicting expression of coming undone, “inside me, please, Su-bong, pl—”
And Thanos doesn’t need to hear him beg any more, his hips move faster and faster until he’s spilling inside his boyfriend with a low groan, and the warmth, the feeling of being so full, tips Namgyu over the edge too.
Namgyu’s nails dig into his lover’s shoulders, and the sting is pleasant, as he comes undone too. His eyes fall closed, and Thanos captures his lips once more as he continues to thrust in and out of him, the movements slowly beginning to decrease in speed as he does so.
Namgyu whines at the overstimulation, and then Thanos presses a comforting kiss to the side of his head as his movements come to a complete stop.
”You’re so perfect,” Thanos places kisses to every part of his boyfriend’s skin he can comfortably reach, and Namgyu chuckles fondly, still coming down from his high, his shoulders stuttering a little. “So good for me,” a kiss to his lips and then the following words and whispered against that body part, “always so good for me.”
Namgyu hums, and his legs slowly fall from the other’s waist. His hands leave his boyfriend’s shoulders, and he cups the taller man’s face, looking into his eyes with an expression of adoration in his own, “you’re so beautiful.”
”You think so?”
”I know so.”
”Well you’re very sweet.”
”I know that too.”
Thanos rolls his eyes, the action fond, and then he places their lips together once before. “I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”
Namgyu frowns lightly, “where are you going?”
”Need a cloth to clean us up.”
”Can’t we just cuddle instead?”
”After I clean us up.”
”But—”
”No ‘buts’,” another kiss to Namgyu’s lips, and then one more to the tip of his nose, “don’t miss me too much.”
Namgyu smiles, and he doesn’t bother trying to prevent the small whine from leaving his body as Thanos slowly pulls out of him. The rapper places a comforting kiss to his collarbone, and Namgyu hums contently when the taller gently bites down on the pale skin there. One more mark won’t hurt.
Thanos moves off of him and heads to get a cloth to clean them up with. He takes his time with it, and Namgyu feels so incredibly cherished as the other slowly moves the damp cloth over his body, placing the occasional kiss against his skin as he does so.
Once they’re both clean, and the cloth is disposed of, Thanos returns asking the question, “do you want any of your clothes?”
”Pyjama bottoms please.”
Thanos nods, and he picks up the clothing item from the chair by the end of the bed and lightly throws it in Namgyu’s general direction. Thanos covers the lower half of his own body with a pair of comfortable jogging bottoms, and when he turns back to the bed, Namgyu is half-dressed too.
He crawls into bed beside his partner, and there’s a strand of dark hair stuck to the other’s forehead. He uses his left hand to tuck it behind Namgyu’s ear, and then his hand remains on the right side of his lover’s face.
They’ve been together now for five years, and have lived in this home for three of them. They have a pet cat who’s probably fast asleep on the sofa downstairs. The cat is black and white, and her name is Byeol. She’s incredibly well behaved, and adores receiving and giving cuddles.
She doesn’t scratch any of the furniture, and she roams outside for a few hours a day before coming back to them for food and attention. She loves Namgyu’s sister, who is now sixteen and has a boyfriend of her own, the same boy from her old homework club and her new piano club.
Byeol the cat loves their little nephew too.
He’s a little over three years old now, and he’s set to become a big brother within the next six months. Thanos’ sister and her husband are expecting another little boy. Naturally, Namgyu helped to decorate the nursery just like he’d done with their first nephew.
Thanos is still rapping, and Namgyu is still at the Club Pentagon and is still attending as many of his boyfriend’s shows as he can. Namgyu even has his own little fan base at this point, fans often ask Thanos during ‘meet and greets’ how he is and Thanos adores talking about him so of course he answers eagerly.
One time they’d bumped into a fan in the street, and she’d had her little sister with her. Whilst her and Thanos spoke, the little girl, around four, was showing Namgyu the magazine she’d brought with her allowance for doing well in her first year of school. He’d crouched down to her height, and was taking in every word she said and Thanos had thought it was completely adorable, and so did the girls older sister.
Namgyu is great with kids, and Thanos thinks that’s partly due to the seventeen year age gap between him and Sang-mi, his sister. It’s incredibly endearing, how patient and kind he is towards them.
Let’s just say that it’s pretty obvious that their nephews favourite person is Uncle Namgyu. Where Namgyu goes, the boy is bound to quickly follow after him.
They’d taken a photo, the four of them, and Namgyu and Thanos had heard the younger of the two sisters excitedly telling her older sister that ‘he thought my magazine was so cool! i really like him!’ as they walked away.
Thanos has amassed a large following of just over six million followers on Instagram, and that’s the only social media he uses because the rest of it is a lot of work and he can’t be bothered trying to figure out how Twitter or whatever it is called now works.
Namgyu has his own art account that is public, and his personal one is public too. He’d kept it private for a while, the personal one, and then he decided that he was ready to make it public like two or so years into their relationship.
It was a little intimidating at first, just how many fan accounts of his boyfriend and personal accounts of his fans followed him like immediately. His following went up from a couple hundred to a couple thousand in a period of about five minutes.
Min-su and Dae-ho are dating, and both Se-mi and Gyeong-su have girlfriends too. Kim and Jun-ho are still together, as are In-ho and Gi-hun.
”I love you.”
Thanos sends the younger man a small smile, “I love you too.”
Hidden away in one of the drawers in the music room of their home is a blue velvet box, and inside that box is the ring that Thanos will eventually use to ask Namgyu to stay by his side forever.
They know they can’t get married in the country they live in, but they can go elsewhere if they really wish to, and even if they don’t actually end up getting married, Thanos would still love to see a ring on Namgyu’s finger.
There’s also nothing stopping them from eventually getting matching wedding bands and referring to themselves as each other’s husbands even if they are not legally married.
”What are you thinking about?”
”You,” is the mostly honest answer, “I think about you a lot.”
”I would hope so,” Namgyu chuckles, and then he shuffles slightly closer to his boyfriend, “but, for the record, I think about you a lot too.”
A hum and then their lips are connected, and Namgyu can still feel Thanos’ hand against his face, and he sighs contently into their kiss when the rapper begins caressing along his cheekbone with his thumb.
He swears he feels Thanos trace a small heart against the side of his face.
Thanos presses a kiss to the tip of Namgyu’s nose, and when he moves back, Namgyu shuffles even closer to him. The younger man places his right arm over his boyfriend’s waist, and he tucks his head beneath Thanos’ chin.
He’s relaxed, there is no part of his body that aches, there are no worries in his mind. Thanos kisses the top of his head, and his left arm secures itself around Namgyu’s body so that he can hold him close.
”Can we stay here all day?”
”You want to?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, “just like this.”
”All day is a very long time.”
”I would stay here forever with you.”
Thanos’ smile is fond, “you would?”
”I would,” Namgyu confirms, and even though he already knows the answer, he asks, “would you stay here forever with me?”
”Of course,” Thanos says, and he’s never been more honest in his life when he says, “there’s nobody else I would rather spend forever with.”
”Me too,” Namgyu hums, and his voice is beginning to grow distant. Thanos can tell he’s probably minutes away from falling asleep. Namgyu’s breathing is slowly evening out.
He presses another kiss to the top of the shorter man’s head, “you can sleep, if you would like to.”
Namgyu nods, and his right arm bends upward slightly so he can secure his boyfriend in his hold better, “you sure?”
”Yeah,” Thanos nods.
A sleepy, slightly disoriented, ”you don’t mind?” Namgyu would feel guilty for falling asleep and leaving the other without company.
”Of course I don’t mind.”
”Okay,” is the quiet response, and then there’s a soft yawn. Thanos chuckles softly as Namgyu tells him, “I love you.”
The rapper responds, ”I love you more.”
”That’s not possible.”
”It is.”
Namgyu shakes his head, ”not.”
”It is.”
”It’s not.”
”It is.”
”We are not having this argument again.”
Thanos’ smile is fond, and his eyes hold a glint of adoration they hold for Namgyu and his Namgyu only.
He bends his left arm upward, and he slowly begins to run his fingertips through the locks of black hair on the back of his boyfriend’s head. Namgyu sighs contently, body relaxing impossibly more, the action being one he has always adored.
Namgyu tells him one more time before the fight to keep his eyes open is one he loses, “I love you, Su-bong.”
”I love you too,” Thanos begins, and he holds the sleeping man close, “my Namsu.”
Thanos drifts off to sleep around ten minutes later, and they hold each other close as they dream. They move positions at some point, though, but their bodies are still connected. Their bodies seek out each other’s warmth and comfort even when they’re not conscious.
Thanos ends up sleeping on his back, and Namgyu’s head is on his chest. The rapper’s right arm is secured around Namgyu’s shoulders, and the shorter man’s own right arm is draped over his lover’s waist. Their legs are tangled together.
It’s just them here, in the bedroom of their home, and it’s so incredibly perfect.
Notes:
if you made it to the end of this fic thank you so much !! i hope you enjoyed reading as much as i enjoyed writing <3
the kimjun version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69337091
Chapter 6: physical touch + quality time. (bonus)
Notes:
the idea came to mind and i simply couldn’t resist
Chapter Text
2030, approximately sixth months after the previous chapter.
A droplet of rain runs down her back after having fallen from the end of her hair, and it sends a shiver up her spine. December is a cold month in general, and the rapid rainfall that began around an hour ago certainly hasn’t helped the chill in the air.
Her shift at work concluded twenty minutes ago, and she’d missed the last bus so had to walk. She’s certain her son, the older of her two children, would’ve come to pick her up if she had asked, but she didn’t want to be a bother. After all, he’s already looking after his little sister for her.
Eun-sook spots her house in the distance, and a relieved smile works it’s way onto her face. She’s had one too many close calls in the form of being splashed by a car driving past a little too fast.
Her keys are in her coat pocket, and so she collects them swiftly as she makes her way up the path toward the pale blue front door of her home. She puts the key into the lock, unlocks it, pushes the door open, and finally steps inside.
The older ladies coat gets abandoned over the bannister of the stairs, and she makes a mental note to properly hang it up to dry later on. There’s a back room in the home where all the dirty washing dries upon the occurrence of not so pleasant weather.
Her home is currently quiet, like silent but not really silent. The hum of electricity fills her ears, and in the general direction of the lounge comes quiet chattering. She doesn’t recognise any of the voices, so it must be the television.
Four people are somewhere in the building, and she finds all four of them when she enters the lounge, following the sound of the television. Her heart swells at the sight she is greeted by, and she has to blink away tears. The pure adoration she feels for these four humans is unlike anything she has ever felt before.
The lounge is illuminated by the television glow and one standing lamp that has been moved from the corner of the room to beside one of the sofa’s. It’s a calming lighting situation.
Life is not easy, and it never has been, but these four people make the world not seem so scary. She had her oldest child at just eighteen, and then seventeen years later her younger child followed.
She had been married to her high school sweetheart, the absolute love of her life and the father of these two children, but he had gone to work one day and never returned. Their youngest child was five, and their oldest twenty-two.
Eun-sook still has no idea what happened to him. He showed no signs of being unhappy with his life before abandoning it. All she knew at the time was that she had to be strong for the little girl who had no idea why Daddy wasn’t coming home, and even stronger for the boy who understood very clearly what was going on.
Her bedtime routine became crying herself to sleep, willing him to return but also not wanting him to at the same time because how dare he leave them in the first place? She only allowed tears to fall when she was away from the gaze of the curious child, and away from the angry, confused, and hurt older boy.
She has done her absolute best for the both of her children. The older boy had been an adult when his Dad left, and so he was pretty independent anyway. The little girl she raised, essentially, all on her own, and she looks at the both of them now with pride.
Namgyu who is strong, and who is kind and caring, and who has been through so much. Namgyu who works incredibly hard, and who was always there, and continues to always be there, whenever she needs help. The amount of times she’s sent him to pick Sang-mi up from school she feels guilty about, but he never minded. He adores his sister, and has done since she was born.
Namgyu who now speaks openly about his anxiety, and has done for a few years. There is still the odd occasion in which he keeps his feelings bottled up inside until they overflow at a random moment, but he’s trying and the progress he has made is completely brilliant. He no longer feels like his feelings are a burden to those around him, and he no longer uses his old ways of coping.
Then there’s Sang-mi, her little girl. She’s sixteen now and is as wonderful as her brother is. She’s excelling in school, and is a big fan of the piano. She’s thoughtful, honest, kind also, and a big fan of going on adventures.
The two of them are in the lounge with their respective partners. Sang-mi’s boyfriend is Ha-joon, and he is quiet at first but when he’s comfortable, he’ll get louder and crack as many jokes as he can fit into one conversation.
They go to the same school, and have been friends for a little over three years. He is in the same piano club as her, and he treats her like a princess. Every time he visits it’s with a bouquet of flowers or her favourite chocolates.
Then there’s Namgyu’s partner, and he likes to be called Thanos. He’s loud from the moment you meet him, and he’s sarcastic but in an endearing way. He’s also thoughtful, and he’s patient, and he has purple hair that Sang-mi was completely fascinated by the first time they met. Eun-sook still remembers the time in which she had to tell the ten-year-old version of her daughter that she absolutely could not dye her hair to match his.
Thanos is brilliant, and not only is he wonderful with Namgyu, but he’s wonderful with Sang-mi too. He gets her gifts every time he goes on tour, she has a collection of teddy bears from different countries around the world… he’s a famous rapper, did she forget to mention that?
Thanos and Ha-joon get along well, almost too well. They’ve very quickly become partners-in-crime, and maybe Ha-joon’s not-so-secret love for the rapper’s music has something to do with that.
The partners of her children treat them the incredible way they should be treated, and she could not be more thankful for the both of them, and she ensures to let them know that whenever the opportunity rises for her to do so. Thanos has been around longer, she must have annoyed him with just how often she told him how thankful and happy she is that Namgyu met him.
Not only do they treat her children well, but they treat her well too. Thanos brings her flowers, and always ensures to get her gifts for birthdays and Christmas’ even if she tells him that it’s not necessary to do so. He’s family, and he has been since Namgyu first introduced him to them.
Thanos has picked Sang-mi up from school a few times when neither herself or Namgyu have been able to. He’s very helpful, and she’s proud of him too for how much he has accomplished. Selling out stadiums all around the world, she knows, is not an easy thing to do.
Ha-joon loves to bake, and so he bakes stuff for their home too as well as his own. They’ve had cookies, and muffins, and anything else along those lines given to them by him. He’s also made birthday cakes, and his own older siblings have helped to decorate them.
She doesn’t realise how long she’s been stood there for, trapped in her own thoughts, until the sound of someone talking pulls her back to the present.
”Hey, Mum,” the soft voice of her son says, and she looks over to the sofa he is on. Namgyu is lying with the top of his back against the arm of the furniture piece, a book open in his hands before him, “how was work?”
Lying on top of him is Thanos, the rapper’s head is on Namgyu’s chest and he’s sleeping soundly, the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders tells her this. Thanos’ left hand is holding onto Namgyu’s arm, the spot near where his elbow is.
”It was okay,” she replies honestly, and she realises that Namgyu is wearing his glasses. He never used to like the way they looked on him, and he’s allergic to contact lenses so he often just squinted and hoped for the best.
But then he wore them once without even thinking about it, and Thanos had called them pretty, saying that Namgyu looked cute in them. The purple haired man had been completely stunned and in awe of the glasses revelation, and so Namgyu’s confidence grew with every compliment he received from his partner.
The glasses appeared more and more until it got to the point in which he now wears them more than he forgets about them.
”Just okay?”
She shrugs lightly, and offers him a small smile, “it’s better than bad, right?”
He hums, and nods.
”How long has everyone been asleep for?”
Sang-mi and Ha-joon are cuddled up together on the other sofa. Ha-joon is in the left corner, his right elbow is on the arm of the furniture piece and his cheek rests against his balled fist. Sang-mi is curled up against his side, her legs drawn to her chest as she sleeps with her head on his shoulder. His left arm is wrapped securely around her shoulders, keeping her close as they dream.
”This one,” Namgyu nods towards Thanos, “about an hour, I think. As soon as he got comfy here, basically, and those two,” he looks over toward his sister and her boyfriend, “maybe half an hour? They put on a movie and, naturally, didn’t get to finish it.”
Eun-sook nods, “and did everything go okay?”
Realistically, she knows she could’ve left the two teenagers home alone whilst she worked, but she felt a lot better knowing that both Thanos and Namgyu were here just in case something were to happen— or, well, Namgyu because Thanos would probably freak out too.
”Of course,” Namgyu nods, and then he quickly adds after a memory from a few hours ago enters his brain, “although Ha-joon was trying to teach Su-bong how to make cookies, and you could probably guess how that went. Sang-mi and I just sort of observed the chaos.”
He doesn’t add that they were hysterically laughing at everything that was going wrong throughout the baking process.
Su-bong is Thanos’ real name, and only Namgyu is allowed to call him that. Thanos’ own sister doesn’t even call him by his real name unless he’s done something to irritate her.
”Do I still have a kitchen?”
”You do,” Namgyu chuckles gently, and then he nods downwards towards a sleeping Thanos once more, “no thanks to him, though.”
She smiles fondly, and then giggles. Namgyu closes his book, having finished it moments before he realised his Mum was home, and the ring on one of the fingers of his left hand sparkles under the light of the lamp.
Thanos had proposed on their sixth anniversary last month, and of course Namgyu didn’t hesitate to say ‘yes’. It was a beautiful scene, and the photograph they both shared on Instagram, in a joint post, announcing the news has, pretty much, more likes and shares than anything else they’ve ever posted combined.
It was somewhat of a selfie, both lying on their stomachs on their bed in front of a mirror they’d changed the location of just to be able to take the image. Namgyu took the photo, his phone covering the majority of their smiling faces but it’s clear that it’s them.
Their heads are resting together in the image, Thanos’ tilted to the left and Namgyu’s tilted to the right. Namgyu has his left hand raised, the tips of his fingers slightly curled inwards, showing off the ring in all it’s glory.
”Are you two staying over?”
”If that’s alright?”
”Of course it is,” Eun-sook nods, “you know where the guest room is, correct?”
”It used to be my bedroom, Mum, of course I know where it is.”
”Ah, right, yes.”
He sends her a smile, one that’s both amused and fond, and she matches his expression. She has a photo of the three of them on her desk at work, and one of her co-workers had made a passing comment only yesterday about how much the three of them look alike.
”Though I don’t know how I feel about those two sharing a room.”
”Namgyu—”
”He should sleep on the floor.”
She rolls her eyes, “they’ll be fine.”
”Well then the door has to stay open.”
”Sweetie—"
”At least a little bit.”
A sleepy voice joins the conversation, “I agree.”
Eun-sook casts her gaze down to where Thanos is lying with his eyes half-open. He’s blinking slowly, it’s clear he’s not entirely aware of his surroundings. She nods at him, “well hello to you too.”
The rapper momentarily lets go of Namgyu’s arm to send her a wave, and then he turns his head to face away from her. He’s fast asleep again in a matter of seconds. Namgyu places his book onto the floor, and he wraps his arms around Thanos’ shoulders.
”I’ll just have a shower and then we can get sleeping arrangements sorted, alright? His Mother might even want him home.”
”But if that isn’t the case, I hope he finds the floor of her bedroom really comfortable.”
A stern, “Namgyu.”
An innocent, “I love you, Mum.”
She giggles softly, and approaches the sofa. After moving the lamp back to where it’s supposed to be, she stands in it’s place and bends down to press a kiss to the top of her son’s head. “I love you too.”
She heads up to have her shower, to freshen up after having been caught out in the rain, and when she comes back downstairs around fifteen minutes later, Thanos is twirling Namgyu in the kitchen, and where his sudden burst of energy has come from she doesn’t know.
She awakes the two sleeping teenagers, and Ha-joon does stay the night after asking his Mum if it’s okay for him to do so.
His face burns red out of pure embarrassment when, just before they head up the stairs, both Namgyu and Thanos tell him not to even attempt to get up to any ‘funny business’. Sang-mi is mortified, and if looks could kill, they’d both be dead.
Namgyu swears he hears his sister telling their Mum that he and Thanos are ’such dickheads’ as the three of them go upstairs, but Namgyu knows she doesn’t really mean it. He watches them go, and then a kiss to his cheek catches his attention and he turns to look at the man whose arms he is currently tucked protectively and warmly in.
”Hello.”
He chuckles softly, and sends his fiancé a smile, “hello.”
”Have I ever told you how beautiful I think you are?”
”Once or twice.”
”Only once or twice?”
”Times by maybe a million, possibly more?”
Thanos hums, and he attaches their lips again, Namgyu’s left hand coming up to cup the right side of his lover’s face as he does so. The metal of the ring is cool against the older man’s skin. They separate, and then, “sounds about right.”
Namgyu asks him, fondly, ”and have I ever told you how annoying you are?”
”About the same amount of times,” he says, “what was it? Once or twice?”
”Times by a million.”
”Possibly more?”
The shorter nods, ”most definitely more.”
Thanos rolls his eyes, tightening the hold he has around Namgyu’s waist, “you cannot seriously find me that annoying.”
”I do, but I’m willing to put up with it.”
The older asks, ”forever?”
Namgyu removes his hand from Thanos’ cheek, and he holds it up, showing off the ring that the purple-haired man himself put there. He smiles, and confirms, “forever.”
Thanos returns the expression, and then they’re kissing once more. Thanos’ arms stay securely around the waist of his fiancé, and Namgyu’s left hand makes its way back to the right side of the taller’s face.
Thanos has his Namsu.
And Namgyu has his Su-bong.
Forever.
Chapter 7: physical touch.
Notes:
*spins around on a chair miniminter style* hi again, it’s me :)
the physical touch love language emphasises expressing and receiving affection through physical contact.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It’s almost two in the morning, and around an hour ago he’d retreated from the music room within their home to the floor of his bedroom. His back is against the side of the bed, and his knees are drawn slightly toward his chest so that his open notebook can rest against his thighs. He’s sat on the floor by the top of the bed.
Behind him, on the double bed, his fiancé sleeps soundly beneath the thin duvet, dreaming contently of god knows what. Knowing Namgyu, he’s probably living beside the beach and looking after multiple pets that come in the form of a little turtle family or something like that.
He’s been working on lyrics to a new song for a while now, and every time he thinks he’s finished it, he rereads the entire thing and finds something else he doesn’t like. It’s rather frustrating, really.
Part of him wants to crawl into bed beside Namgyu, turn off the lamp illuminating the room in a soft glow, and fall asleep— the part of him that’s desperate to get the damn song finished, however, overpowers that urge by a considerable amount.
His pen has almost run out of ink, it’s a purple pen with an infinity stone, he can’t remember which one, on the top of it. A fan had gifted it to him during his last meet and greet.
Namgyu always tells him he should write songs in pencil because rubbing it out is easier and tidier than scribbling out pen, but Thanos thinks the crossings out in pen look cooler and ‘more authentic’.
Music has always been a form of perfect escapism for him. When his parents used to argue, his sister would rush to whatever room he was in at the time with a pair of headphones, and she’d place them over his head so that he wasn’t able to hear whatever their Mum and Dad were screaming about.
His favourite subject at school, before he dropped out, had been music. He’d hide from his bullies in the music room, playing different melodies on the pianos and teaching himself guitar when he was supposed to be downstairs eating lunch.
They found him eventually, the bullies, that is, and it saddened him more than anything else because it meant that no spot in the school was safe anymore.
There is a song out there in the world for every emotion, for every feeling, a song to express what’s going on in someone’s mind when words simply cannot. Thanos hopes that, even though his music is generally upbeat and fast rap, that someone out there feels that way about his music. He hopes that he’s helped someone feel okay, even if it was just for a little bit.
No room is left on the page of his notebook, so he flips to the next one and just stares at it for a while. A dull ache is beginning to form in the back of his head, and his vision is beginning to blur slightly. A yawn escapes him, and he wonders how much longer he can stay up for without consuming an energy drink of some kind.
His eyes fall closed, he allows them to do so for a moment, and when he opens them again, he’s disappointed to find that words haven’t magically gone from his brain to the page.
He looks to his right, and the glow of the moon seeps through the small crack between their curtains. Namgyu must not have closed them properly when he went to bed.
Namgyu had disappeared to their bedroom just before ten, and he’d had their cat with him but Byeol got bored of being awake by herself so eventually returned to Thanos’ side instead. Where she is now, Thanos isn’t certain. She’s probably asleep on one of the sofa’s downstairs because that’s one of her most favourite places to be.
He looks back down at his notebook, writes something, and then immediately crosses it out.
The room is quiet, aside from the hum of electricity, and then there’s a slight movement from behind him. He freezes, waiting, and when he doesn’t hear anything, and the moving stops, he relaxes once more because it means he hasn’t accidentally awoken his partner.
Namgyu had fallen asleep with the lamp on, the lamp currently being used as Thanos’ main source of light. They have nightstands on either side of their bed, one lamp on each of them.
Namgyu’s nightstand is also the home of his glasses case, and said glasses had not been in there when Thanos first entered the room. Instead they were on the actual nightstand, and so before he got himself comfortable where he’s sat now, he ensured to put them in there so that they didn’t run the risk of falling and breaking.
Namgyu fell asleep on Thanos’ side of their bed, the left side, which he often does when they go to bed at different times or in different parts of the world. Namgyu feels closer to Thanos this way, his pillow holds his scent.
He yawns again, and straightens up so that he’s no longer hunched over and so that his entire back rests against the side of the bed. His head falls back slightly, but then it snaps upward when he hears a small, distressed whimper.
Thanos turns his body to the right immediately, and the sight he’s greeted by deflates his shoulders and brings a concerned ache to his heart.
Namgyu’s face is contorted into an expression of both fright and sadness, and he’s mumbling something Thanos cannot understand, something broken that almost sounds like a plea.
He abandons his notebook and pen to the floor somewhere to his left, and he positions himself on his knees beside the bed. His right arm moves immediately, but slowly and carefully, in the direction of his partner.
Thanos moves a strand of hair from Namgyu’s face before it can fall over his eyes completely, and then he uses the thumb of his right hand to gently caress along Namgyu’s left cheekbone.
”It’s okay, Namsu,” he whispers gently, and the movement seems to already be helping the other man. His next words are a promise, equally as soft as the words from before had been, “I’m here, it’s okay.”
Another whimper is released into the air, and so Thanos leans forward to press a small kiss to his fiancé’s forehead. He pulls back ever so slightly, using his left arm to prop himself up on the mattress, not stopping the movements of his right thumb along the other’s cheekbone.
”Nothing can get you,” Thanos says, and if Namgyu does get any worse, he’ll wake him up, “you’re safe here, okay? With me, in our home. It’s okay, Namsu, you’re okay.”
Namgyu’s facial expression relaxes, but his body trembles slightly as a single tear slips out of his right eye. Thanos himself can’t catch it, so his pillow does instead.
”I’m here, my love,” the rapper promises, “and I’m not going anywhere.”
The younger of the two mumbles something, and it’s clear he’s no longer in as deep of a sleep as he once was.
Namgyu reaches blindly for Thanos with both of his hands, and Thanos has to remove his own hand from the side of Namgyu’s face when his partner grabs onto his left hand after finding it. His left hand had been resting on the mattress due to his left arm propping himself up.
He leans backward slightly, his right arm falling uselessly to his side, and he watches as Namgyu lifts his head in order to place Thanos’ hand down on the pillow. The shorter’s head moves downward, and it rests securely in the rapper’s palm.
An expression of pure adoration is on the older’s face, his eyes holding a fond endearment, and he supposes he’s going to be here for a while, not that he minds, so he should get himself comfortable. He sits down properly, and he leans forward so that his head is on the edge of the mattress.
His hand will be numb soon, but he doesn’t mind it being used as a makeshift pillow, even if Namgyu had had a perfectly good pillow to sleep on beforehand.
Thanos is awake there for approximately ten minutes before his own eyes fall closed, and his breathing evens out as he falls into dreams of his own.
He’s asleep for around two hours before he awakes to the feeling of a hand making its way slowly through his hair. Once, twice, three times, and again for a fourth. He groans softly, and his back hurts as he opens his eyes in order to adjust them to the light of the room.
He sits himself up, and the hand falls from his hair as he does so. Namgyu is watching him with a confused glint in his eyes, it’s clear he’s uncertain as to why their sleeping arrangements ended up this way.
Thanos sends him a small smile, a silent way of saying that everything is okay, and Namgyu visibly relaxes. Thanos realises only now that Namgyu is no longer sleeping on his left hand, but is cradling it close to him with both of his own hands instead.
Then the shorter asks a soft, “can you come to bed now please?”
“Of course,” Thanos nods, “can I have my hand back?”
Namgyu shakes his head.
”I need to turn off the light, Namsu,” he says, “so I need my hand back.”
The younger frowns lightly, it’s clear he’s still sleepy, but he does eventually let Thanos’ hand go, albeit reluctantly. Thanos stands, and he turns the lamp beside him off. The room isn’t in complete darkness, but it’s darker than what it previously had been.
”Do you want to stay on my side of the bed?”
”Yes please.”
”Okay,” Thanos nods, and he moves around the bed, collecting his notebook and pen from the floor as he does so.
He places them onto their dresser, the place where some of their clothes are stored, and then he crawls up the bed to lay down on Namgyu’s side of the mattress.
It’s quiet for a moment, and then Namgyu turns to lay on his left side so that he can face the man he loves, “I had a nightmare, I think.”
”You did,” Thanos nods, “do you want to talk about it?”
”Not now,” Namgyu shakes his head, and then lays on his back and he opens his arms. Thanos sends him a smile, and he shuffles closer to his partner. His places his head against the left sight of Namgyu’s chest, and listens to the calm, rhythmic beating of his fiancé’s heart.
Thanos’ left arm drapes itself over Namgyu’s waist at the exact same time the younger man’s own left arm secures itself around Thanos’ shoulders.
Namgyu’s right hand finds Thanos’ left hand by his hip, and he entwines their fingers together. Of course the older man lets him do this happily.
Namgyu presses a kiss to the top of Thanos’ hair, to the slightly faded purple locks they’ve agreed to re-dye within the next few days. They have two bathrooms in their house, and whichever one they use to dye Thanos’ hair in has to be completely masked by some sort of protective covering.
The younger says a quiet, somewhat distant because sleep is very quickly coming back for him, ”I love you, Su-bong.”
Thanos tells him, “I love you too, my Namsu.”
Within a few minutes they’re both fast asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms, just the way they love it.
Notes:
another new thangyu fic if you wish to read but absolutely no pressure to do so!!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69910666
Chapter 8: acts of service.
Notes:
acts of service focuses on showing love and affection through practical actions and helpful deeds, rather than words or gifts.
acts of service but with a slight twist.
Chapter Text
His phone ringing from the other room catches his attention, and Namgyu wastes no time in abandoning his glass of water to the kitchen counter and heading straight for it. He doesn’t know why, but this call feels different somehow.
It’s just after midday on a Thursday, and Thanos is out doing interviews for most of the day so it’s just him until around five or six this evening. Sometimes he doesn’t like to be alone, but today he doesn’t mind too much.
He’s spent the last few hours shut away in his Art studio, an Art studio that is also part library, pouring both his mind and heart out onto a canvas. His black hoodie has a few drying paint spots on it.
If the paint doesn’t come out in the wash later on, he can just use this as another designated clothing item for painting.
Namgyu frowns in confusion after picking up his phone and seeing the contact name. Thanos’ older sister doesn’t often call him, not really, so whatever she wants to say must be important.
It can’t be anything about Thanos himself, so he doesn’t need to worry about that, because if something were to be wrong with him, Namgyu is his emergency contact and has been since they got off that island all those years ago.
They wouldn’t call Nam-ra first, if they needed to speak to a loved one of the rapper, they’d call him and this is the first call he’s gotten today so Thanos is fine. Absolutely fine… right?
He clicks the green ‘accept’ button, and places the phone against his right ear. “Hello?”
”Namgyu, hi,” Nam-ra greets him, and it’s evident in her voice that she’s concerned, and perhaps lightly panicking, about something, “sorry to call so randomly—”
”Oh, no, it’s fine,” he tells her honestly, “is everything alright?”
”Um, not really,” she says and Namgyu’s heart twists, “you see the boys are at school, yes? But I’ve just gotten a call from the nurses office saying that Min-seok isn’t feeling well so he needs to be collected.”
Min-seok is four years old and in his first year of proper schooling. His younger brother, Tae-young, has just turned ten months and is currently in daycare. Nam-ra and her husband both work full-time.
She continues speaking, and Namgyu is fairly certain he knows what he’s about to be asked, “I can’t get to him, and neither can Woojin because he’s in meetings all day. I was wondering, and please do not feel as if you have to say yes because I can work something else out if needed, but I was wondering if you’d be able to pick him up for me please?”
Namgyu, really, doesn’t need to think his answer through. Both of his nephews, he knows, adore him as much as he adores them. Nam-ra is being honest when she says that he doesn’t have to go and get the oldest of the two from school if he can’t or simply doesn’t wish to, of course he knows that as well.
”I can get him,” he nods even though nobody is there to see it, “yeah, that’s— that’s no problem, it’s just down the road, isn’t it?”
”The school? Yeah, yes, it is,” and the relief in her voice is clear, “thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver, truly.”
”You don’t need to thank me,” he begins, “do you want me to bring him here or to your place?”
”Yours would be amazing,” she says, “I finish work at around four, so will get Tae first and then come to yours after, is that alright?”
”Yeah, that’s fine.”
”Perfect,” Nam-ra says, and he can practically hear the smile on her face. She has the same smile as Thanos does. “I’ll call the school now to inform them that you’re coming.”
”Okay,” and he says that because he doesn’t really know what else to say.
It’s quiet for a moment, “thank you, Namgyu, really. It means a lot to us.”
”Us?”
”Myself, Woojin,” that’s her husband, “no doubt Min-seok as well. He’s always been very fond of you.”
Wherever Namgyu goes, Min-seok is bound to eventually follow. Ever since the little boy learned to walk, he’s been Namgyu’s shadow when they’re together. He’s even grown his hair out to look like Uncle Namgyu, but the man doesn’t know that yet.
”We’re family,” Namgyu tells her, “and, please, don’t thank me, there’s really no need t—”
”Well I’m doing it anyway,” and it’s comments like that which help to remind him that she’s very much his fiancé’s older sister.
He chuckles softly, “well in that case,” he starts, “you’re welcome. I’ve been painting so I’ll get a change of clothes and then I’ll get him. Fifteen minutes tops.”
”Amazing,” she says, “look, I have to go, but again thank you so much and I’ll see you later on, alright?”
”See you later.”
And then the phone line cuts out, and he drops his mobile device to the sofa with a soft sigh. He probably should have asked what exactly was wrong with the child. ‘Not feeling well’ could mean anything from a stomach bug to a potential ear infection. He’s not sure if he knows how to properly deal with the second one of those.
He gets changed in record speed, even if it is only swapping his t-shirt and hoodie for clean, fresh ones. The hoodie he is wearing now is slightly too long for him, he got it out of Thanos’ part of their dresser.
Namgyu collects his phone from the lounge, sliding it into his pocket, before heading out of the house. He decides to walk because the school is only ten minutes away. He’s more than happy to carry the child home if he needs to.
He used to pick his sister up from this very school, so he knows the rough layout of it. Namgyu didn’t go to this school as a kid, he went to the one a few streets over because it was the only educational setting with space left for him. His parents had accidentally left it slightly too late to get him enrolled.
The school has a code box by the main reception in order to access the inside of it, but obviously he doesn’t know what the code is so instead he clicks the buzzer. He expects to speak to someone, to inform someone of who he is and why he’s here, but instead there’s a click and the door opens before him.
He hums, pleasantly surprised but also maybe slightly concerned that he didn’t need to introduce himself, before stepping inside. The door closes behind him immediately, and he looks upward to the signs explaining where everything that is close by is.
The school is decorated how you’d probably imagine it to be. The walls are plain white but covered mostly by posters telling children to ‘work hard!’ and ‘be kind!’. There’s also a display of children’s artwork, and Namgyu spots his nephew’s name on one of the pieces of paper.
He goes left to the main reception, and there he finds his nephew fast asleep curled up on one of the sofa’s, a few shades paler than he normally is. Beside him is his teacher, and on the floor is a small cardboard hat they use for when students are showing signs of potentially throwing up.
Great.
“Hey,” he begins softly as to not disturb the boy, capturing the teacher’s attention, “sorry to disturb, but I’m—”
”The Uncle,” the teacher smiles, “Mum called ahead to let us know you’d be collecting.”
He nods, “do I have to show you something to prove who I am or—”
”Normally, yes,” she responds, standing, “but, to be honest with you, we know who you are already.”
”Ah,” and though he knows the answer already, he asks, “and how exactly—”
”My son is a big fan of a certain rapper, so I’ve seen you before.”
Namgyu chuckles softly, “tell him he has a wonderful taste in music?”
”I will,” she grins, and then, “I’ll just collect his bag for you. It’s a small distance away.”
”Okay, thank you.”
She nods, and turns around to retrieve the bag. Another teacher appears and starts talking to her, so Namgyu supposes he has some time. He looks towards the boy, who is now mumbling as he is not in as deep of a sleep as he once was.
He moves the sick bowl to one side in order to crouch down beside him, and he uses his left hand to move the boy’s hair from his face. Min-seok’s eyes flutter open, and he stares at Namgyu for a few seconds whilst his brain awakens.
When he realises who he is, a small smile appears on his lips, delighted to see one of his most favourite people ever. “Uncle Nam!”
Namgyu smiles back at him, bringing his hand back towards his own body, “hey, kid. Look at how long your hair has gotten!”
”I wanted it to look like yours,” he begins, and the confession melts Namgyu’s heart, his facial expression dropping into one of fondness, “and Mama said I could.”
He tries to mask his disbelief, but doesn’t think he does a very good job, ”you wanted hair like mine?”
”Yeah,” he hums, eyes falling closed again, “it looks cool.”
”Cooler than Uncle Thanos’ hair?” There’s no way a child could think his hair is cooler than literal purple hair.
But, apparently, there is a way, because the boy nods weakly, “yeah, but don’t tell him I said that.”
Namgyu chuckles gently, and he nods, “okay, secret is safe with me.”
”Promise?”
”Promise.” There’s a moment of quiet, and then Namgyu says, “Mama told me you weren’t feeling very well. Would you like to tell me what’s wrong?”
”My tummy is hurting,” the boy says, opening his eyes again.
”Sick hurting or aching hurting?”
”The second one.”
Namgyu frowns, “well that’s not good, is it?”
”No, Uncle Nam,” Min-seok replies, “it’s not good at all.”
The teacher approaches them with his school bag. It’s a little one that has a small Panda plush attached to the zip. Namgyu stands, and takes it from her with a nod of ‘thank you’.
”He’s not got a temperature or anything,” she says, “but we thought it best he be at home, just in case. He’s not the first in his class to feel unwell like this, unfortunately.”
”He’s not?”
”No, we’ve had to send five home this week already.”
”He’s the sixth?”
She nods, “that’s the thing with schools, illness is everywhere all the time.”
He blinks, and then she excuses herself quietly to return to the teacher she’d been speaking to. He looks down at his nephew and sighs gently. Six kids at home means that, at most, there’s probably like fifteen kids left in the classroom.
”Can we go home now, Uncle Nam?”
”Yeah,” he nods, “of course we can.”
And the expected question, alongside the expected action of weakly moving his arms upward, “can you carry me please?”
It’s clear the boy has absolutely no energy whatsoever. He’ll probably be asleep again by the time they get home.
He nods, and asks him, “do you think you could hold your bag for me? Just for a second.”
Min-seok nods. Namgyu places the bag into the boys partly opened left hand, and then he leans downward to pick him up. The child goes gladly, of course, melting into the exchange and placing his head onto his Uncle’s right shoulder. Namgyu takes the bag back off him.
The teacher approaches, “all set?”
”Yeah,” he nods, and Min-seok’s right hand comes up to hold onto the collar of his hoodie. He did this a lot as a toddler, it’s his way to seek further comfort.
The teacher watches the boy sadly, and then she goes to guide them out of the building, but an older child stumbles in with some sort of note, and she stops immediately in her tracks when she see’s Namgyu and realises who he is.
She smiles at him, her words leaving her mouth through a bashful whisper, “hello.”
He smiles back, “hi.”
And that’s where their conversation ends. She moves around them to deliver the message her teacher needed her to, and Namgyu is lead out of the school. The teacher tells Min-seok she wishes he gets better soon, and then they’re left alone.
”I’m tired, Uncle Nam,” the boy mumbles, and it’s clear he’s already drifting back off into a sleep. It’s not the first time he’s used Namgyu as a pillow, and it won’t be the last.
”You can go back to sleep if you’d like to.”
”Can you wake me up when we get home?”
”We’re going to my house, is that okay?”
There’s quiet, and then a small hum, “I like your house.”
Namgyu knows this. He and Thanos have a medium-sized wooden chest in the corner of the lounge, Namgyu had painted it to look like a morning sky, filled with age appropriate toys for their nephews to play with whenever they’re over. There are books in there too, and colouring pencils with colouring books.
He goes to reply, but realises quite quickly that he doesn’t need to. The boy’s breathing has evened out, his shoulders rising and falling contently as he slides further and further into a dream.
Namgyu presses a kiss to the top of the boy’s forehead, and then he begins the walk home, only having to stop once to slightly adjust the protective hold he has on his nephew. Min-seok sleeps the entire journey home, mumbling softly a few times when a particularly loud car drives past. His hold on Namgyu’s hoodie seemingly gets tighter with every few steps the adult takes.
When he gets them home, he opens the door with an ease that surprises him, and then he uses the back of his left foot to kick it closed. He abandons his keys to the coffee table, places Min-seok’s school bag beside it too, and then he lays the boy down on the sofa.
”Uncle Nam,” a small mumble catches his attention before he can properly stand again, “wh-where are you going?”
”To get you some water,” he says, “is that okay?”
”Can I come too?”
”You want to?”
”Yes, please,” he then coughs lightly, and frowns, and Namgyu of course cannot say no. Well, technically he can, but one he simply cannot bring himself to do so and two he doesn’t want to say no anyway.
”Walking or carrying?”
”Carrying.”
Namgyu picks the boy up once more, and Min-seok, for easiest description, clings to him. His arms wrap loosely around Namgyu’s neck, and his head rests on his shoulder once more.
”Uncle Nam,” he begins quietly, and Namgyu hums to show he’s listening as he begins heading towards the kitchen, “I love you.”
He smiles fondly, and momentarily turns his head to the right. He presses a kiss to the boy’s forehead, and takes a mental note of the fact that he’s growing warmer. “I love you too.”
Namgyu uses his left hand to open one of the kitchen cupboards in order to collect a kid’s cup from there. He then places it onto the counter, and fetches cold water from the fridge.
The cup has some child’s cartoon character on it, and it had been left here by Nam-ra and Woojin after visiting some time last year. Thanos and Namgyu never returned it, the other couple never asked for it back, and so now it’s kept here for moments like this.
The water gets poured and Namgyu brings it into the lounge. He then goes back for the water he was drinking before he collected the boy from school. He puts the glass down on the coffee table beside the plastic cup.
Namgyu suddenly remembers the overnight bag upstairs, and so he places the now sleeping child on the sofa before heading up there, collecting it as quickly as he can. When he comes back downstairs, Min-seok is sat up with watery eyes, and he immediately feels guilty.
”Hey, sweetheart—”
He rubs his eyes with balled fists, a pout on his lips, ”wh-where did you go?”
”Just to get your pyjamas,” he was quite literally gone for thirty seconds, “remember you left some with us?”
”Yeah,” he nods, “my Iron Man ones. Uncle Thanos doesn’t like them.”
Namgyu chuckles softly, and he remembers how Su-bong spent the entire day going on and on about what a betrayal the pyjamas were. “No, he doesn’t, but I do. I think they’re cool.”
”They’re really cool, he’s my favourite.” The boy sniffles, and his hands fall to his lap. They tremble slightly.
”Oh, absolutely,” Namgyu nods, “but do you remember who my favourite is?”
“Bucky,” he says, “I like Bucky too.”
”He’s cool, isn’t he?”
”He is,” Min-seok says.
Namgyu asks him, circling back to his original thought, “would you like to get changed in the bathroom?”
”Can you wait outside the door for me?”
The older nods, “I can.”
So that’s what they do. They head to the bathroom upstairs, and Namgyu stands outside of it with his back against the wall, waiting for the moment the closed door opens to signal that Min-seok has finished changing.
He bundles his uniform into a messy pile after he’s put his pyjamas on, and because he no longer has his hands free, he taps on the door with his forehead. He immediately regrets doing that, though, because it makes him aware of the dull ache forming in the back of his skull.
”I’m all done, Uncle Nam!”
”Are you sure?”
”Yeah,” he says, “my arms are all full of my clothes so I can’t open the door!”
The older chuckles gently, the sound fond, and he slowly pulls the door open. Min-seok leaves the room and then he holds the clothes up in Namgyu’s direction.
”For you.”
”Thanks,” Namgyu replies, and takes the clothes, “where would you like to—”
”Can we watch a movie?”
”Which movie?”
”The one with Iron Man and Bucky in it.”
”There’s a few like that.” Avengers: Infinity War, Avengers: Endgame, Captain America: Civil War.
”You can choose.”
”You sure?”
The boy nods, and then suddenly he reaches for Namgyu’s hand with both of his own, a panicked sort of expression on his face. He manages to hold onto the pinky finger of Namgyu’s right hand, the clothes are in the way so he can’t hold onto him properly.
”What’s—”
Tears are filling the other’s eyes, and Namgyu’s heart breaks the same way it does whenever he sees his younger sister upset. She’s more emotional now as a teenager than she was as a younger child. He supposes in some way that makes sense.
”It h-hurts, Uncle Nam.”
”What hurts?”
”My tummy,” he says, “and m-my head.”
The ache in his head is worse than what it had been before, and it’s slowly progressing from just the back of his skull to all over.
Namgyu places the clothes to the floor as he crouches down to the boys height. He has a few ideas on what he could do to help, but he wants to give his nephew the opportunity to tell him if he already knows what he needs, “what can I d—”
The boy doesn’t let the man finish, instead he takes a step closer and holds onto him. Namgyu is one of the people he feels most safe with, one of the people he knows will protect him from both illness and the sometimes mean nature of the general outside world.
Namgyu returns the hug, and he momentarily places the palm of his left hand carefully onto the back of the boy’s head in order to keep him close as he stands, picking his nephew up in the process.
”I’ve had a thought—”
Min-seok hums.
”I can put you in the spare room and turn the film on, and then I’ll put your clothes with your bag downstairs so it’s easy for when Mama gets you later,” he pauses, and waits a second to see if there are any protests so far. When he doesn’t get any, he finishes off the last part of his plan, “and then I can get our water. How does that sound?”
”You’ll come back and stay with me?”
”Of course I will.”
”Okay.”
”Okay?”
Min-seok hums, “b-but I would like you to come back really fast, okay?”
”I will,” and because he never makes promises he can’t keep, he says, “I promise.”
Min-seok pulls backward, and he’s not as pale as he had been at school, but he’s still very much not well. His eyes are red, and his cheeks are oddly flushed.
He lifts up his right pinky, “pinky promise?”
”Pinky promise,” Namgyu nods, lifting his left hand to connect their fingers, “I’ll be like The Flash. You should time me, see how long I take.”
That suggestion makes a small smile appear on the boys face. “That sounds fun.”
“You think so?”
A hum, and a nod. Namgyu goes to the spare bedroom the two children always use whenever they spend the night, and he places Min-seok onto the mattress in an upright position. The boy moves immediately to the top of the bed where he lays down with his head on the pillows.
Namgyu chooses Captain America: Civil War and loads it up on Netflix. The movie begins to play at a volume not so loud to be overpowering but loud enough to be heard.
“Can you put the television lights on please?”
”I’ll need to close the curtains,” Namgyu begins, “is that okay?”
The boy nods.
Namgyu closes the rooms curtains, dulling the light, and then he flicks the button on the side of the tv. The television is mounted on the wall opposite the bed, beneath it is a dresser with a decorative fake plant on it because he and Thanos have tried and failed so many times at keeping a real plant alive.
The lights on the back of the television are currently set to match whatever the main colour scheme on the actual screen is. When the Marvel introduction plays, the lights are a deep red colour and Min-seok looks incredibly pleased by it. No matter how many times he sees it, he’s always fascinated.
”Ready to time me?”
The boy nods, sitting up, “I’ve been practicing my counting.”
”On three?”
”One…”
”Two…”
”Three!”
Namgyu dashes out of the room, and Min-seok giggles as he watches him go, the pain in his tummy momentarily forgotten about. Namgyu picks up the clothes from the floor, making them as neat as possible as he rushes downstairs. He puts them by the boy’s school bag, and then he goes to the kitchen to collect a box of crackers in case either of them get hungry.
The water he collects last, and he makes his swift return up the stairs, careful not to spill any liquid on the carpets as he does so. He comes to a stop in the room, and he asks, “how did I do?”
“Sixty-four seconds, Uncle Nam,” the boy claps, “well done, that’s really good!”
He had thought he’d done better, but he supposes he’ll take it. He places both the water’s on one nightstand and puts the sealed box of crackers at the end of the bed.
”Can I have mine on my side please?”
“Of course,” he nods, already reaching for the cup, “and thank you for asking so nicely.”
”You’re welcome.”
Min-seok takes the cup from his Uncle’s hand, and then Namgyu grabs the bin from beside the dresser. The boy had said earlier that his tummy hurting was just an ache, but he doesn’t want to take any chances.
He puts the bin down on Min-seok’s side of the bed, and the boy looks at him with a curious glint in his eyes.
”Is that for sick?”
”Just in case.”
”Okay,” he nods, because his Mama and Daddy put a bucket or a bin of some sort by his bed when he’s poorly at home too. Namgyu offers him a small smile, one the boy returns, and then Min-seok pats the spot beside him. “Here, please.”
Namgyu nods, and moves around the bed again to lay down on the side the boy isn’t. The movie continues playing as Min-seok also lays down, shuffling close to Namgyu before doing so.
Min-seok looks at the ring on his Uncle’s left hand, the lighting behind the television having reflected off of it, and he whispers, “I really love your ring.”
Namgyu lifts his hand ever so slightly, and smiles, “me too.”
****
”Well you look like shit.”
Nam-ra closes the door of her car, her youngest child sat comfortably on her left hip, and rolls her eyes at the comment that has just been made.
”Thank you,” she replies in a dull tone, looking over in the direction of her approaching brother, “love you too.”
Thanos grins, and he stops at her side. He cringes, hissing softly as he does so, and she already knows what he’s about to say before he opens his mouth, “you smell like shit too.”
She flicks his forehead with two of her fingers, and he gasps at the contact, flinching backward, a pain shooting through him, “don’t be a twat, Su-bong.”
He rubs his forehead, glaring at her, “a tw—” his next question is direction towards his nephew, the infant watching them with a little grin on his face, “do you hear the way your Mama talks to me? How mean she is to me?”
”You just said that I—”
”I wasn’t being serious,” he frowns in the exact same way he used to when she didn’t let him have his own way when they were younger, and he goes back to rubbing his forehead, “that really hurt.”
She tells him, “it’ll be fine in a minute. Or do you need an ice pack to soothe the pain?”
”Shut up.”
She goes to speak, but then the boy in her arms leans away from her, thrusting his little arms outward and towards his Uncle. He makes grabby hands at him, closing and opening his fists in fast movements.
Before Thanos takes the boy into his arms, she kisses her son’s cheek and mumbles a soft, “traitor”.
Tae-young is more than content in Uncle Thanos’ arms, his left arm resting on the rapper’s right shoulder as he watches him with nothing but adoration in his eyes.
Thanos asks, somewhat distracted by the gaze on him, “as lovely as it is to see you—”
”You’ve got a funny way of showing that.”
“It’s my duty as little brother—”
”To be incredibly annoying? Yeah, I know.”
He sighs in an irritated manner due to being interrupted yet again, eyes falling momentarily closed, and she grins at him as he says, “anyway— as I was saying, as much as it’s nice to see you, can I ask why you’re here? And where’s the other little man?”
Nam-ra finished work at just after four, and due to the older boy not being in school, she could pick up Tae from daycare considerably earlier than normal. She always has to get the older boy first because the school finishes at 16:30pm and the daycare doesn’t close until an hour after that.
”I got a call earlier today to say he wasn’t feeling well,” she explains, “I couldn’t get him, neither could Woojin, and I know you’ve been doing interviews so I asked Namgyu to pick him up instead. And of course he did.”
Thanos’ smile is fond, and he goes to offer something verbal to the conversation, but then a small hand hits the side of his face. He frowns in his nephew’s direction, “that wasn’t very nice.”
The boy doesn’t care, he taps Thanos’ face a few times more before lightly bumping their foreheads together.
Nam-ra smiles at the pair, and then she says, ”so, to answer your first question properly, I’m here to collect my child. How did your interviews go?”
”Fine,” Thanos says, taking his eyes off his nephew and missing the pout that appears on the boys lips as he does so, “finished earlier than planned so that’s always good.”
”Anything interesting get asked?”
”Of course not.”
”Did you go on a fifteen minute rant about Namgyu again?”
He scoffs, “no.”
She raises her eyebrows, not believing him.
Thanos states, and she giggles, “it was like twenty minutes this time.”
The two, well technically three counting the little boy in Thanos’ arms, head into the house after that. The building is quiet, and they assume the pair are upstairs after seeing both the kitchen and lounge empty. The boys school uniform and bag are by the coffee table.
“Would you like me to get him?”
”Is that alright?”
”Yeah,” he nods, handing the younger of his nephew’s back to his sister, “I’ll just be a second, okay?”
She nods, and sends him a thankful smile. Thanos disappears up the stairs, and heads towards the room illuminated in a purple haze. He enters, and his heart immediately melts at the sight he’s greeted by.
Min-seok is lying fast asleep, slightly curled in on himself, and his entire right hand is wrapped around the thumb of Namgyu’s left hand. Namgyu is also asleep, his chest rising and falling evenly.
He snaps a photo of the two of them, making a mental note to send it to Nam-ra later on, and then he makes his way around to the side of the bed the younger is lying on.
He sits, and whispers a small, “Min-seok?”
The boy hums, not having been in much of a deep sleep. The movie playing on the television now is Avengers: Endgame, and the room is purple because Thanos, the villain character, is speaking.
“Min-seok,” he says again, and the boy opens his eyes, groaning gently as he isn’t pleased to be disturbed. “Hey,” he smiles at him, “how are you feeling?”
”Bit better,” is the slow reply, “where’s Mama?”
”She’s downstairs with Tae,” Thanos explains, “I’m going to take you to her, is that okay?”
”But I wanna say bye to Uncle Nam first—”
He sighs softly, ”Uncle Nam is still sleeping, kid, I’m sorry.”
Min-seok frowns lightly, but then he sits up. He moves forward and slots himself into Thanos’ arms, and of course Thanos holds him tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as he returns the embrace.
”Can you tell him I said goodbye?”
”I will,” the rapper nods, “promise.”
”We watched a movie,” Min-seok explains as Thanos stands up, keeping the boy in his arms as he does so. Min-seok lets his head fall to Thanos’ shoulder, “and we had some crackers too.”
The box of crackers at the end of the bed is almost entirely finished. There are a few crumbs scattered around. Those can be dealt with later on.
“That’s cool,” he says, “did you watch the best ones?”
”We watched Captain America,” he says, “because that has Iron Man and Bucky in it.”
”You didn’t watch any of Endgame?”
”No,” Min-seok shakes his head the best he can, and then he yawns gently, “we fell asleep.”
”So you didn’t even get to see Thanos?”
”No. He’s a bad guy.”
”No he isn’t,” Thanos shakes his head, heading out of the room, “he’s cool.”
“No.”
”Yes,” he says, “he’s the coolest ever.”
A moment of quiet as they wander through the corridor, and then a little, “I think you’re the best and most cool Thanos ever.”
The fond smile that appears on his face is immediate, “you do?”
”Yeah,” he nods, “and Uncle Nam is the best Namsu ever.”
Thanos had told Min-seok that Namgyu’s name is actually Namsu, and the little boy has refused to believe otherwise, no matter how often his Mama and Daddy tell him that actually ‘Uncle Nam’ is short for ‘Uncle Namgyu’.
”He is,” the older agrees, beginning to head down the steps, “and guess what?”
”What?”
”You’re the best Min-seok ever.”
”I am?”
”Of course you are!”
”That’s a very nice thing to say.”
Thanos smiles, and he reaches the last step. He moves into the lounge to find Tae playing with a toy from the wooden box, and Nam-ra responding to a text from her husband. He’s going to start preparing dinner.
“Mama,” the little boy calls as soon as he sees her, and Nam-ra turns her phone off the moment the text has gone through.
She stands, looking over at him, “hey, baby, how are you feeling?”
”A bit better,” he says, “my head is achy a little bit.”
She frowns, and then takes the boy from her brother’s arms. His skin isn’t warm, as far as she can tell, he’ll probably be alright by mid-tomorrow. He won’t be going to school, she’s already told her Boss that she’s taking the day off tomorrow. He hadn’t been entirely pleased, but understands that family always comes first.
”What did you and Uncle Nam get up to?”
”We watched a movie and then we fell asleep.”
She giggles softly, “did you now?”
“Yeah,” he nods, and rubs his eyes with balled fists, “we had some crackers too.”
“I took a photo when I went up there just now,” Thanos says and she looks immediately grateful, “they looked all cute, so I couldn’t resist.”
”Send it to me later please?”
“Absolutely.”
Thanos then picks up the little boy from the floor, and his Sister exits the house with him following closely behind. Normally she’d stick around for a while, but it’s different when one of the boys is sick.
She puts Min-seok in the car first, securing him safely in the car seat, and when she turns, she notices someone leaving the house with the older of the two kids’ school uniform in one hand and bag in the other.
”Namgyu,” she greets him with a smile, and the little boy in Thanos’ arms hits his hands excitedly against the rapper’s shoulder, thrilled gaze focused on his other Uncle.
”Woke up alone,” he says, “saw these were still here and thought I could be helpful.”
”You’ve been massively helpful, thank you,” she says and Namgyu stops beside where Thanos is stood, “how was he?”
”Well his teacher tells me he’s one of six kids to be sent home recently,” he says, “he got warm a few times but never actually broke out into a temperature. He’s had crackers, and cold water.”
”Uncle Nam,” a little voice says from the car, and Namgyu leans slightly to the right in order to be able to see the boy calling for him, “thank you for looking after me, and thank you for my crackers.”
His smile is fond and his gaze matches it, “you’re welcome.”
Nam-ra takes her youngest child from Thanos, and the infant waves happily at both Namgyu and Thanos before she takes him around to the other side of the car to put him in his child’s seat.
“Uncle Thanos,” Min-seok begins, and he watches as the taller man’s right arm makes its way around Namgyu’s shoulders. He lets his Uncle kiss his other Uncle’s cheek before saying, “there’s a girl at school who thinks you’re really awesome.”
”There is?!”
”Yeah,” he nods, and one of the car doors shut, “she has a little badge on her bag with your name on it.”
”That’s so cool!”
”It is,” Min-seok nods, “she’s too old for me to talk to on the playground, but I’ve seen her bag before in the corridor and at lunch time. It says ‘Legend Thanos’ on it, and that’s you.”
Namgyu wonders if this girl is the same girl who spoke to him earlier. ”I still don’t think ‘legend’ is the right word—”
Thanos turns to Namgyu with a frown of betrayal on his face, and Min-seok giggles as the purple-haired man says, “excuse me?!”
Namgyu turns to him, joining their gazes, and smiles, “I’m just joking,” he then presses a quick kiss to Thanos’ lips.
Min-seok cringes playfully, “ewwww!”
Neither reply to him, suddenly a bit too lost in each other’s eyes to register the world around him. Nam-ra moves back around the car to where Min-seok’s sat.
”Right,” she begins, “say goodbye to Uncle Thanos and Uncle Nam.”
Both men look towards him in time to see him wave, “bye!”
Nam-ra takes the bag and clothes from Namgyu’s hands and puts them in the middle seat between the two boys. She closes the door where he’s sat, and turns to her brother and, though not technically but he has been for a while now, her brother-in-law.
”Thank you again, it means the world.”
”Of course,” Namgyu smiles, “it’s okay, really.”
She wraps her arms around him, knocking Thanos’ arm from his shoulders in the process. It’s an embrace Namgyu quickly returns. The rapper rolls his eyes when she presses a friendly kiss to Namgyu’s cheek.
”Okay, please relax, Nam-ra, you have a husband already. This one is mine.”
She lets Namgyu go, and once again flicks Thanos in the forehead. He yelps, and places both hands over the wounded spot, and he can hear a distant, muffled, hysterical giggle— or rather giggles. The betrayal from both of his nephews stings.
”Goodbye Namgyu,” she looks back at him and smiles, and then she looks at her brother, “goodbye Su-bong.”
He glares at her, hands falling from his forehead, ”I literally haven’t even done anything—”
”Bye, bye,” she calls again, in more of a sing-song voice, as she gets into the drivers seat of the car. The engine starts, and then within thirty seconds, her car is disappearing down the street.
Namgyu watches them go, and then he hears:
”She is such a bitch.”
”No, she isn’t,” he says, looking at his partner.
”She is, my forehead really hurts.”
Namgyu frowns playfully, and then leans up to press a kiss to the taller’s forehead, “better?”
Thanos mumbles, ”I might need another one.”
So Namgyu kisses his forehead again.
Thanos hums, “maybe one more? Just to be sure that it’s okay.”
The younger chuckles fondly, and places his left hand onto the right side of Thanos’ face, bringing him downward in order to kiss his forehead again.
”Fine now?”
”I don’t know—”
Namgyu rolls his eyes, and instead he presses their lips together. He meant it to only be a soft peck, but Thanos returns the action immediately, and both men melt into it.
They separate, and Thanos looks at him with a smile, “okay, it feels better now.”
“Good,” Namgyu returns the expression, looking at the other with nothing but fond adoration, ”want to finish watching Endgame? I paused it before I came down here.”
”Has all the cool shit happened yet?”
”No,” Namgyu shakes his head, “they’re currently making the plans to find the Infinity Stones.”
That means there’s a good amount of the film left. “I’ll order dinner?”
Namgyu nods, and kisses him once more, “perfect.”
Thanos hums, and then, “and thank you.”
The younger tilts his head to the side, “for?”
”For picking him up from school,” Thanos says.
”Su-bong—”
”I like seeing how well you two get along,” he begins, “even if it does mean that he loves you more than me.”
”He loves us both the same and you know it.”
”Uh-huh, whatever you say—”
The roll of his eyes is playful, and then, “how did your interviews go, by the way?”
”Good,” he says, “I got to do my most favourite thing.”
”Which is?”
”Talking about you.”
Namgyu chuckles, and he kisses his partner again, “you’re so cute.”
An immediate, somewhat bashful sounding, “I know.”
Chapter 9: quality time + physical touch.
Notes:
quality time emphasises the importance of focused, undivided attention and meaningful engagement between individuals.
the physical touch love language emphasises expressing and receiving affection through physical contact.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The music studio is surprisingly quiet, the only sounds filling his ears being that of humming electricity, the breathing of the man on the other side of the room, and the patter of rain now falling against the window he’s looking out of.
The windowsill is wide enough for him to comfortably sit on, his knees are drawn slightly towards his chest and his closed book rests abandoned against his thighs. The sky is covered by a dark blanket, a dark blanket that is the home of scattered white specks of stars.
In the sky is also the moon, and it looks completely full but might not be. The moon illuminates the street outside, and Namgyu spots a girl, maybe a year or two older than what his own sister is, running down the street with an open umbrella above her head, the handle clutched firmly in her left hand.
The room that he is in is illuminated only by glow of a lamp, a lamp that sits beside the desk where Thanos is currently finishing off the last verse or two of a new song. He won’t tell Namgyu what the song is about, so Namgyu safely assumes it could potentially be about him.
Over the last six years of their relationship, songs both about him and for him have become more regular, and of course he loves them all. Thanos’ top streamed song is about him, and they both found that odd not because it was about Namgyu, but because it was very much out of his ordinary style of music.
Think ‘Ordinary’ by Alex Warren meets ‘Work Song’ by Hozier who both then go on to meet ‘Little Things’ by One Direction. It’s a beautiful song, Namgyu listens to it regularly, especially whenever Thanos isn’t close by for whatever reason.
”It’s raining,” he says, not taking his eyes off the outside world, the spots on the window appearing quicker now than they had been moments ago.
Thanos hums, and asks, “is it?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, and he mentally curses the fact that neither of them thought to check the weather forecast before they left. In their defence, though, they’ve been here for hours and assumed, or rather hoped, that the grey clouds would disappear as the afternoon became the evening.
“Is it heavy?”
”I think so,” Namgyu responds, and he places his forehead against the cool window, appreciating the chill that runs up his spine, “it’s getting heavier, Su-bong.”
Thanos looks over his left shoulder, and smiles softly at the sight he’s greeted by. “You’ll steam up your glasses if you stay like that for long.”
Namgyu shrugs lightly, “they’ll get wet on the way home anyway.”
”We could call and—”
”No,” Namgyu shakes his head, and that feels weird and slightly difficult due to his foreheads position on the window, “I would like to walk.”
”In the rain?”
”Yes please.”
Thanos nods. He knows that Namgyu has always been fond of the rain, and if he’s being completely honest, he’s fond of it too. They love movie nights where they sit in the lounge with a shared bowl of popcorn and rain is falling in the background.
”Sounds good to me.”
Namgyu sits back, and looks over at his partner, “are you nearly finished?”
Thanos glances at the clock in the room. “Ten more minutes?”
”Okay,” Namgyu says, leaning back against the small section of wall behind him. He looks back out of the window, and sees a Father and, who he assumes to be, his Son jumping in puddles together. He smiles fondly at them, even though they cannot see him do so.
Thanos goes back to his notebook, and considers. They have been here since five, and now it’s just gone nine. He closes his notebook, and puts the lid back on his pen. They’re the last people here, probably. There’s only one other person who is ‘crazy’ enough to stay as late as Thanos does sometimes.
He pushes himself away from the desk, and takes a seat on the opposite side of the windowsill, sitting up straight so his entire back is against the wall. He’s been hunched over for a while, and there’s an ache in his spine.
”That ten minutes went quickly.”
Thanos chuckles softly, “time flies when you’re having fun, I suppose.”
Namgyu hums, nodding slowly, and then he looks towards his fiancé in order to join their gazes. Well, he’d hoped to, but he very quickly realises that Thanos is looking downward.
He looks down too, and notices the way the ring on his left hand shines beneath the moonlight. He looks back up, and Thanos does too.
”I love you,” the older tells him, and Namgyu’s facial expression falls into one of endearment.
”I love you too.”
They have been through so much together, the two of them, before, during, and after their time within the games. When the rescue boats came to collect them, there had been no way Thanos was being pulled onto the vessel first.
In fact, he had told the solider pulling them out of the water to save Namgyu before him. No matter how hard it was to stay afloat, or how cold the ocean was, he needed to make sure that Namgyu was okay before worrying about being saved himself.
Namgyu was pulled up to the boat, and Thanos a few seconds afterward. Namgyu had slotted himself immediately into the other’s arms, Thanos letting him do so gladly, and they stayed that way until they reached the shore.
”Did you finish the song?”
”Nearly,” Thanos says, “I can figure out the rest later this week.”
Namgyu nods, and looks back out of the window, “are you going to tell me what it’s about yet?”
Thanos is quiet for a moment, and then he says, “I think you already know what it’s about.”
”Oh, do I?”
”Yeah,” the rapper nods, “it’s not the first time I’ve written about it, and it won’t be the last either.”
”That’s sweet,” Namgyu says, “it’s so nice of you to write a song about how much you love cookies.”
Thanos chuckles softly, and rolls his eyes, “it’s not about cookies, dumbass.”
”I know,” Namgyu turns to him.
Thanos tilts his head to the side, “you’re so beautiful.”
”As you keep telling me—”
”I like to remind you,” he says, “my Namsu.”
Namgyu really hadn’t been fond of the ‘Namsu’ nickname, but the moment it went from just that to ‘my Namsu’, well he no longer wished to correct the other man— not that Thanos ever listened to his previous corrections anyway.
”Can I ask you something?”
”Of course.”
”Do you ever,” Namgyu begins, treading somewhat carefully, “regret going to the games?”
Their older nephew had asked to play Gonggi the other day, and neither of them were able to say ‘yes’ to him.
Thanos knows where he had been when the recruiter found him, and of course Namgyu knows where his fiancé had been too. They both know what he had planned to attempt for the second time. “I don’t know,” he says.
”Oh?”
”Well,” he begins, “I suppose I do, yeah, and I don’t like the way I acted during them, but— but without the games, I don’t know if I’d have you.”
Namgyu isn’t certain on how to reply.
Thanos continues, “I don’t know whether I’d have had the courage to approach you properly anywhere else. I used to go to the Club Pentagon not just to perform, but to have an excuse to see you too. I know that technically you found me first in the games, but I was, and still am, really thankful that you did.”
Their first kiss had been at the same time as their first sexual experience together. The bathrooms of those games had been like one of the least romantic places to do all of this, but the lingering drugs within their system had helped them to admit something they’d both been secretly planning, and hoping, to admit anyway.
They never openly said their feelings, but their actions said everything their mouths didn’t. Their first ‘I love you’ came on the same day they became an official couple.
They know they’re not the first to do this in the bathroom, the whole intimacy thing. Gi-hun and In-ho had kissed in there too before the revolt, just in case something were to have gone wrong and neither of them, or only one of them, made it out alive.
Namgyu doesn’t think about the games, not really, aside from the times in which his brain forces him to. He hears kids playing ‘Red Light, Green Light’ in the middle of the street sometimes and it makes him feel physically sick. He gets horrible nightmares still, they both do. He can’t even look at a spinning top game without a weight appearing on his shoulders.
But in those games, he’d had always had Thanos. Sure he had Se-mi, Min-su, and Gyeong-su as well, but really everything he did came back to the rapper. They shared the same bed essentially every night, cuddled closely and didn’t give a single fuck if someone saw them in the morning.
Namgyu invited Thanos to live with him when they were finally free from the hotel the players stayed in after being rescued, and that was on the ninth of November. They were saved on the fourth, because it had been the early hours of the morning, after just three games.
Thanos didn’t have anywhere to go but didn’t want to be abandoned, and Namgyu didn’t want to leave him behind. They shared the same space for a little while before declaring themselves as boyfriends at the end of the month. November 24th is their anniversary, they officially got together at exactly 14:30pm.
It’s December 20th now, six years later, and they’ve been engaged for just under a month. They promised each other forever, they did that a long time ago, but the ring on Namgyu’s finger is visible proof of that promise for those around them.
”I understand what you mean.”
”You do?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, “I like that the games brought me closer to you, but the games themselves I don’t like.”
No matter how many fans circled Thanos during his Club Pentagon performances, their gazes were always the ones to meet. Namgyu doesn’t remember the moment he decided to start slipping free drinks to the rapper. Nobody aside from the two of them knows about it even to this day.
”You know you’re one of the best things that has ever happened to me, right?”
Namgyu feels his heart melt. This isn’t the first time he’s been told this. Thanos used these words last month when he proposed, and he’s used them a few times even before that too.
”I feel the same way about you.”
Thanos smiles, and then looks out of the window, and Namgyu looks out onto the street as well. The Dad and his Son have gone, and now a teenage, or seemingly teenage, boy wanders down the street. He has no umbrella, he has no hood on his jacket. His shoulders are slightly slumped.
”He seems sad.”
”He does,” Thanos agrees, and then a car drives past the boy at a speed which is unnecessarily fast, flicking up the water of a puddle as it does so. The teenager freezes as he gets splashed. “That sucks.”
”I wish I had an umbrella for him.”
The boy wipes his face, shoves his hands into his pockets, and begins moving down the street again, slightly faster than he had done earlier. Namgyu has witnessed three different versions of life since looking out of the window.
The energetic teenage girl with an umbrella, the closely-bonded Father and Son jumping in puddles, and the sad teenage boy who has just been splashed with water.
”Shall we go home?”
Namgyu considers for a minute, and then nods, “yes please.”
”The long way or the short way?”
”Why would we go the long way?”
”A wise girl once said that ‘a bit of adventure, no matter the conditions of the weather, never hurt anyone’.”
Namgyu looks at him, “did you seriously just quote my own sister to me?”
”I did,” Thanos nods, looking at him too, “she’s wise beyond her years, that one.”
The younger sends him a small smile, and then removes himself from the windowsill. He puts his book down on the desk, because this is the book he keeps here, and then he feels a pair of arms wrap around the section of his body just before his waist and a chest against his back.
Thanos presses a kiss to the side of his neck, and Namgyu sighs contently, tilting his head to the right a little in order to give his partner better access to his skin. Thanos presses a few kisses there, before his hands wander ever so slightly lower.
Namgyu catches the hands in his own, stopping their movements, “later.”
Thanos hums against his neck, ”that a promise?”
”Depends on how much you annoy me.”
“I do not annoy you—”
”Yes, you do.”
”No, I don’t.”
”Yes, hun, you do.”
”I do not.”
”You do.”
”Do n—”
There’s a sudden pressure at his hips, and Thanos gasps softly, his head falling so that his forehead rests against the centre of Namgyu’s left shoulder.
The younger, knowing exactly what he’s done and proud of the reaction he’d received, asks, “want to continue this little disagreement? Or do you want to go home?”
”Home, please,” the reply is immediate, his head still swimming from the grind of the other’s hips, “home sounds good.”
Namgyu uses the hold he has on Thanos’ hands to remove them from his waist, and then he lets them go altogether in order to turn around to face the other.
”You’re such a tease.”
”Me? A tease? Never.”
Thanos huffs softly, and Namgyu steps closer in order to very briefly connect their lips together. When he pulls back, he watches the other with a fond gaze, a look of adoration within his eyes.
”Let’s go home.”
The rapper nods, and allows Namgyu to slot their hands together. Thanos entwines their fingertips, and turns the lamp off before they leave the room, and then they head down a few flights of stairs before leaving the general building.
The rain is heavier now, and there’s a distant rumble of thunder. No flash of lightening, though, so they should be okay.
Thanos puts the hood of his hoodie over his hair, and then he uses that same free hand to put Namgyu’s hood up for him as well. They sort of stare at the streets for a while.
”Still okay to go the long way?”
Namgyu says, ”the field is probably really slippery.”
”A wise girl once said—”
”Please stop quoting Sang-mi to me.”
Thanos chuckles slightly, and instead of crossing the street, he pulls Namgyu towards the right, down to where the local park is.
The swings move back and forth in the wind, the metal creaking, and it’s a little creepy if they’re both being completely honest. The darkness doesn’t help, and neither does the flickering street light.
The roundabout spins by itself, and they both watch it. Namgyu thinks about the games, and Thanos does too. The last game they had played was Mingle, a game where they had to form groups of a certain amount or, quite literally, die trying.
Thanos squeezes his hand, “you okay?”
”Yeah,” he nods, already feeling the rain soaking through his hoodie and settling on the fabric of his t-shirt underneath, “are you?”
”Yeah,” Thanos responds the same way, and Namgyu leads them away this time, leaving the abandoned park behind. They wander the streets, and they get to the spot where an alleyway becomes a field. A lot of kids come here to play football or other kinds of sports after school.
Sang-mi and her friends were here just yesterday evening. Her friends mostly consist of the four other piano club students. There’s three boys at the club, and two girls. One of these boys is her boyfriend, Ha-joon.
They have liked each other since they were thirteen, the both of them only worked up the courage to admit their feelings a few months ago after a piano club session had finished and everyone had already headed home.
Namgyu leads them across the field, careful to not slip, but surprisingly it’s not as muddy as they first assumed it would be. Suddenly, however, Thanos stops, and so does Namgyu.
He turns to him, and asks, “what’s wrong?”
”Do you remember that film Sang-mi made us watch?”
”Which one?” Because there are a lot of them.
”The American one with the two high school students who danced on their school roof whilst it rained?”
High School Musical 3: Senior Year, he knows it well. “Yeah?”
Thanos sends him somewhat of a bashful smile, and Namgyu realises what’s happening half a second before the taller asks, “would you like to dance with me?”
It’s not the first time they’ve danced in the rain, but the last time they did they spent a few days cuddled up in bed together unwell to the point where sentences no longer made sense and lights of any kind were far too bright.
”Remember what happened last time?”
He does, of course he does. Whenever Thanos is sick, he acts as if he’s dying from some ancient illness that has made a come back just to ruin his week. It’s all hand on the forehead Shakespeare ‘oh Romeo!’ style.
The older says, though, ”but it might not happen again.”
”It will,” and to prove a point, Namgyu sniffles, “I can already feel a cold coming on.”
Thanos frowns, his shoulders deflating, his gaze falling to the floor, “oh okay then.”
Namgyu watches him for a moment, and then sighs softly, so softly that only he can hear it. He takes a step closer to the other man, and uses his free hand, the left one, to gently cup the other’s chin.
He guides his partner’s head upward so that their eyes can connect, and Thanos melts into the action with no trouble at all.
The younger questions, “do you have music?”
He offers, ”I have my phone? It’ll stay dry in my pocket.”
The shorter hums, and then brings his lover in for a kiss, a kiss that’s eagerly returned. Then he pulls back slightly, and says into the small gap between them, “I would love you dance with you.”
The other’s eyes light up immediately, “you would?!”
“Of course,” Namgyu nods, and the rain continues falling around them, “there’s nobody else I’d rather dance in the rain and then get unwell with.”
”Well they do say in sickness and in health—”
Namgyu smiles, “they do”, and then he brings the other in for one more kiss. Thanos then removes his phone from his back pocket, and he holds it in front of him. Namgyu looks down, keeping the tops of their heads connected so that the rain doesn’t hit the device.
Thanos immediately heads to Taylor Swift’s album Speak Now, and he says it’s his favourite for loads of reasons, but Namgyu is convinced it’s his favourite just because it’s purple. Sang-mi had introduced Thanos to her music a few years ago, and he hasn’t looked back since.
”Which one?”
”Any of them,” because Namgyu couldn’t tell you the name of most of them, no matter how often he’s heard them playing. The only one he knows for certain is ‘Back To December’, but that’s not quite appropriate for them.
”Okay,” he says, and Namgyu watches as the older turns the volume of his phone up to the highest setting. ‘Timeless’ begins to play, and that one is about two fated soulmates finding each other in every lifetime no matter the era or period of time they are in.
Namgyu likes to think that his alternate universe self has found the alternate universe Thanos, and Thanos likes to believe that too. He hopes another version of himself has found another version of Namgyu, and that they’re as happy as they are.
Thanos’ phone goes back into his pocket, and the song becomes slightly muffled but they can still hear it well enough. Thanos takes a sudden step back, and Namgyu chuckles softly when the older holds out his left hand to him.
”My Namsu,” he begins, “can I have this dance?”
Namgyu smiles, and takes his fiancé’s hand, “my dearest Su-bong,” he begins, “of course you can.”
Thanos pulls Namgyu closer to him, and Namgyu of course allows him to do so with ease and no fight whatsoever. The taller’s right arm secures itself comfortably around the shorter’s waist, and Namgyu places his left arm over Thanos’ shoulders.
The dance starts slowly at first, and somewhat clumsy because the floor beneath them is growing muddier by the second, but then they very quickly realise that a little bit of mud never hurt anyone.
Their bodies move together the same way they normally do, six years as a couple has lead them to essentially be able to melt into one person whenever they’re close enough to do so.
Namgyu knows every inch of his lover’s body, and Thanos knows every inch of Namgyu’s body too. They know just the places to go to make the other react how they want them to depending on the situation. They love tracing each other’s tattoos, both the older and the more recent ones.
Thanos has a tattoo of an ‘N’ on the inside of his left wrist, and Namgyu has a tattoo of an ‘S’ in the exact same place. The two of them got them together on their third anniversary. They both also have the date they became an official couple on their bodies too. Namgyu’s is on his right arm, Thanos’ is on his left arm.
Thanos carefully spins Namgyu with a fond smile, and Namgyu chuckles softly as he does so, not minding one bit that his glasses are slowly but surely becoming a hindrance to his vision rather than the main source of it.
Their chests meet, and Thanos doesn’t waste a second in joining their lips together, Namgyu responding to the action eagerly. His hands, growing cold and damp with rain water, come up to cup the taller man’s face, and Thanos’ hands settle comfortably on either side of Namgyu’s waist.
Namgyu then steps back so that their limbs become their own again, “I can’t see you.”
Thanos chuckles softly, “I usually keep a cloth for them in my pocket, but that’s probably wet now.”
The younger hums, and the thunder moves closer. He’s noticed the song has finished. His adjusts the sleeves of his hoodie so that they cover half of his hands.
He shivers, “can we go home now?”
Thanos nods, and he figures he’s going to have to lead the way. The darkness mixed with the rain-soaked glasses leaves his partner essentially blind to the world around him. Even if Namgyu were to take his glasses off, he’d probably only be able to see what he can now— which is nothing.
The rapper presses a kiss to Namgyu’s forehead, before slotting his right arm through Namgyu’s left one. He’s doing the sweater paws thing, the older had noticed, and Thanos doesn’t want to disturb that so he didn’t try to hold his hand.
They walk through the rest of the field, and then Namgyu decides he’s simply too tired to walk any further, despite their home being five minutes away now. Thanos, after rolling his eyes, lets the man climb onto his back and he carries him the rest of the way home.
He puts Namgyu back down on the floor, carefully so that he doesn’t slip on the wet concrete. As soon as the door is open they both rush into the house. Namgyu heads upstairs to the shower, and Thanos slowly wanders up the stairs in order to wait until the water is running before joining him.
****
His head rolls backward, caught by his partners left shoulder, as a soft moan escapes the back of his throat, the feeling of Thanos carefully thrusting in and out of him making his head swim the same way it normally does.
The steam from the shower’s hot water only makes the heat over them greater, and Thanos places his left hand over Namgyu’s one, entwining the tips of their fingers together.
He groans into the skin of the other man’s neck between planting kisses there, his right hand is settled contently on Namgyu’s hip, guiding the body part forward and backward as he thrusts into him.
A certain part within his body is hit and Namgyu whines, his eyes momentarily falling closed, the sound going straight to the rapper’s head. Thanos picks up the pace of his movements, and Namgyu just about dies.
”So good for me,” the older says against the younger’s skin, angling his hips slightly to focus on that one spot, “always so good.”
Namgyu’s head falls forward, his forehead connecting with the tiles of their bathroom wall. His brain is foggy, his mind filled only with the pleasure he feels.
Thanos moves his upper body backward ever so slightly to begin pressing kisses to the back of his partner’s neck, nipping gently at the skin and earning a sharp gasp for doing so.
Then he decides he wants, or needs, something else.
”Namsu,” he begins, hips faltering slightly and the other whines, “wanna see you, baby, please—”
Namgyu doesn’t need to be told twice. “Pull out so I can turn around then.”
Thanos follows the instruction, and the sight he’s greeted by will always be one of the best he’s ever seen. Namgyu drags him immediately closer by the shoulders, bringing their lips together, their bodies connecting.
Namgyu’s hips rut against his own, desperately trying to find the friction his body wants, and Thanos grins into the kiss before matching the movements.
His hands slide beneath Namgyu’s thighs, and he squeezes them in a silent plea. Namgyu gasps softly, their lips disconnecting, and he wraps his legs around the other’s waist, being pinned protectively and firmly against the wall as he does so.
Thanos lines himself up again, and the back of Namgyu’s head meets the wall, a series of small pants escaping him, his shoulders trembling as Thanos pushes inside.
”Okay?”
Namgyu nods, and he sinks down slightly to meet the other half way. Thanos knows he’s where he had been before, because suddenly Namgyu cries out and grips onto him, his left hand on his right shoulder and his right arm around his neck.
”Namsu, words, please—”
”It’s good,” the shorter gasps, already feeling the other begin to move again, “always good, always want it, want you.”
Namgyu’s body seems to seek out what it wants on its own, his hips meet each one of Thanos’ rapid thrusts, and he swears stars momentarily cloud his vision. His head falls forward, his right temple meeting Thanos’ left one.
The moans beside his ear drive him insane, and Thanos’ grunts echo off the walls of the bathroom. The shower just about masks the sound of skin meeting skin in a frenzied manner.
He wants to map Namgyu’s skin with his hands, to touch him wherever possible, but he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to let go of the back of his thighs. He feels most content with his hold on him here, he doesn’t want to run the risk of accidentally dropping his partner— not that he probably would, but still.
This isn’t the first time they’ve had sex in the shower, or against a wall, and it most definitely won’t be the last.
Namgyu moves his head backward, and connects their foreheads, their gazes meeting and unsteady breaths mingling.
”Wh—”
”Inside,” Namgyu kisses him, but before Thanos can return the action, “inside me, please.”
His word is a warning, ”Namsu—”
”I know,” Namgyu whines, his stomach tightening, that familiar high approaching rapidly, “I know, me too.”
With a few more thrusts, Thanos is spilling into the man above him with a deep moan, and Namgyu gasps heavily as he releases between them, their bodies being painted white.
A few more shallow thrusts leave Namgyu’s mind melting, and he hisses softly as his head lulls to the side, his spent body acutely aware of the movements still going on inside.
”It’s okay,” Thanos tells him, pressing a kiss to the man’s cheek, slowing his hips, “I’ve got you, it’s okay.”
Namgyu hums gently, and Thanos slowly pulls out of him, the wall becoming the home of what seeps out of Namgyu’s lower body as he does so. He places his lover’s legs down carefully until Namgyu’s feet hit the floor, but he doesn’t yet move his hands.
”Okay?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, knowing what he’s really being asked, and Thanos slowly moves his hands up to the younger’s hips. Namgyu can stand on his own, that’s what the older man had wanted to be certain of before moving his hands.
The shorter of the two moves his head back to rest it against the wall, and he’s met by the adoring gaze of his fiancé.
He sends him a small smile, and Thanos returns it. Namgyu notices the deep purple mark forming on his lover’s collarbone, and doesn’t feel guilty because he has plenty of his own forming too.
Namgyu places his hands on both of Thanos’ arms, around where his elbows are, and gently tugs at him to come a little closer. Thanos does, his arms sliding around Namgyu’s waist as he does so.
The arms of the younger fit comfortably around Thanos’ shoulders, and he sighs contently when the taller presses a kiss to his temple, and then one to his cheek.
Thanos pulls back in order to look at him properly, and he tells him, “I love you, Namsu.”
”I love you too.”
And Thanos hums, “my Namsu.”
The younger chuckles lightly, and tilts his head ever so slightly forward to connect their foreheads. He kisses Thanos once, then twice, and then three times.
“Your Namsu.”
Notes:
𝐼𝑛 𝑎 𝑐𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚 𝑎 𝑓𝑒𝑤 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑔𝑜
𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑛𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑓, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤
𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒
𝑊𝑒'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒
𝐼'𝑚 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑖𝑟 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛' 𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑦
𝑊𝑒'𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑏𝑜𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑜𝑓 𝑝ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑜𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑤𝑒'𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒
𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑎𝑦, "𝑂ℎ 𝑚𝑦, 𝑤𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠"
Chapter 10: words of affirmation, physical touch + quality time.
Notes:
another upload because i go back to work tomorrow so posts may become slower 😭
quality time emphasises the importance of focused, undivided attention and meaningful engagement between individuals.
words of affirmation, as a love language, emphasizes the importance of verbal and written expressions of love, appreciation, and encouragement.
the physical touch love language emphasises expressing and receiving affection through physical contact.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
November 24th, 2024.
Dyeing his hair hasn’t been at the top of his priority list recently, so when he looks into the bathroom mirror, he isn’t surprised to see that it’s faded a considerable amount.
The purple is dull, no longer bright and full of life, and he supposes that’s somewhat poetic considering how he feels at this current moment in time.
He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, his mind working far too fast and his thoughts far too loud for his brain to even consider switching off for five minutes let alone a few hours.
Instead he simply laid on his back, a peacefully sleeping Namgyu tucked closely against his side, and he thought. He allowed his mind to wander in ways he doesn’t often let it because sometimes it leads him to darker roads instead of the preferred lighter ones.
Thinking is always something he’s been good at— thinking, like pretty much everyone else, is quite literally one of the most important parts of his job. He has to think about the lyrics of his songs, and what he wants the songs in general to be about.
He thinks about everything, and he thinks about everything from his first conscious memory of going to karaoke with his sister at the age of four, to what he did last night. He didn’t do anything last night, not really. Namgyu fell asleep halfway through their movie, so Thanos had turned the television off and carried him easily to bed. Namgyu is very light, almost like a feather.
Thanos had then laid down too, and accepted Namgyu into his arms, the younger immediately shuffling closer when, even deep in sleep, he’d sensed the presence of the taller man.
It warms his heart to know that even in an unconscious state, some part of Namgyu’s brain knows he’ll be safe with Thanos.
He thought about a lot of things, mostly the games and the man beside him. He thought about the way MG Coin had almost ended his life with a damn fork of all things, and he thinks about the way he couldn’t do that because Namgyu had tackled Thanos off of the other man before he was able to do any real damage.
Thanos’ reflection is only one he somewhat recognises, and the mirror steams up further the longer he stands in the bathroom for, the mist from the showers hot water floating, lingering, in the air.
He gets dressed into a simple, comfortable outfit, and he frowns upon the realisation that one of his hoodies, his most favourite one, is nowhere to be found. He could’ve sworn he’d put it at the bottom of the pile of clothes. They had been at the end of the bed for maybe ten minutes before he brought them in here.
Oh well.
Thanos tosses his old clothes into the basket where the washing goes, and he collects his phone from the nightstand before wandering down the corridor leading to the lounge area of the flat.
He finds Namgyu there, and his shoulders immediately lose some of the tension that had been building within them. Namgyu is wearing a dark purple hoodie, it’s the one Thanos had thought he’d misplaced.
It doesn’t come as a shock that Namgyu had sneakily taken it, the hoodie, and the older of the two really doesn’t mind that he did.
Namgyu is biting down gently on the fingernail of his left thumb, his gaze glued to the wall opposite him, his body angled ever so slightly to the left on the sofa meaning that the television isn’t in perfect view.
Thanos sighs gently, only loud enough for him to hear. The younger man looks lost in thought, Namgyu has always been good at thinking too.
The rapper slowly approaches him, and he says softly in order to not startle his— well, whatever he is to him, “hey, Namsu.”
But he doesn’t get a reply, not even a blink to inform him that he’s been heard. Thanos sits down at the other’s side, angling himself so that his right knee touches Namgyu’s left one, and he waits a few seconds to see if anything will happen. Namgyu is completely oblivious to his presence, and that hurts a little.
”Namsu,” he says gently once more, but still no reply. Namgyu’s eyes are beginning to water slightly behind his glasses, glasses Thanos think look beyond perfect on him.
He decides to take matters into his own hands.
His left hand he extends slowly, and he holds Namgyu’s own left hand within it. Namgyu freezes momentarily, blinks, and then his shoulders begin moving and Thanos hadn’t realised that he’d pretty much stopped breathing.
Namgyu has anxiety, he might just have gotten here in time to prevent him from spiralling completely.
”Don’t do that,” he says with a small shake of his head, guiding the other’s hand from his mouth, and Namgyu lets him do so with ease. A tear falls from his right eye, but Namgyu catches it before it can fall all the way down his cheek.
A broken whisper, “sorry.”
”It’s alright,” Thanos tells him, and he keeps Namgyu’s hand in his own, entwining the tips of their fingers together, placing them onto his lap, watching himself do it. When he glances up again, Namgyu is also staring down at their joined hands.
Neither speak for a while.
The two of them have been separated twice since escaping the island. Once in the hotel because they were deemed ‘unsuited’ to be side-by-side whilst going through the initial drug withdrawals, and twice for their police interviews recounting all that they saw.
Namgyu and Thanos had been placed into separated hotel rooms, and even though they were next door to each other, it felt like they were continents apart. They were both watched over and closely monitored. Namgyu mostly laid on the bed, curled in the sheets, trembling, and Thanos sat against a wall, completely unaware of what was going on around him, unaware of his own body shaking, and he thought.
The moment they were reunited had happened two days later when they’d gotten through the worst of the withdrawal symptoms. Thanos had asked about forty times in the space of a minute if he could finally have Namgyu back, and the officers had agreed.
Namgyu was placed into his room so quickly that he’d fallen over his own feet and landed with a smack on the floor, and then he’d wasted no time in leaning into Thanos’ open arms, the taller having crawled over to him immediately.
Thanos held Namgyu close to him, and he hadn’t let him go for the rest of that day. Whatever symptoms they had left to work through, they did it together. Still closely monitored, still closely watched over, but together.
The Mercenary leader, Kim, had been in charge of looking after them after a hospital visit of his own. His leg was healing, and so were they, so really they were the perfect trio.
He’d sit outside of their room, sometimes he even came in. Namgyu would have a civilised conversation with him, Thanos would irritate him— hey, sue him, but all he wanted to know was why he and Jun-ho kept making love heart eyes at each other.
Kim and Jun-ho are officially a couple now, and Thanos hadn’t been at all shocked when he found that out. The two always looked at each other, their gazes lingering on one another for longer than they did on anyone else.
Kim had been there when Thanos did his police interview, and he’d been there too when Namgyu started his an hour later.
Thanos finds his voice first, and he asks him, despite thinking he already knows the answer, “are you okay?”
Namgyu shrugs lightly, and his reply is quiet, “I think so.”
A beat of silence, and Namgyu is still looking down at their joined hands. His mind visibly wanders once more, and Thanos leans forward to press a kiss to the younger’s forehead. Namgyu’s eyes slip closed at the feeling, a content sigh leaving his body.
Namgyu asks, eyes opening, as Thanos’ lips disappear from his skin, “are you alright?”
”Yeah,” the taller nods small, “just— just doing a lot of thinking, I suppose.”
Namgyu hums, and nods, “me too.”
More quiet, and both the hum of electricity and the beating of his own heart are suddenly too loud.
”What do you think about?”
And really there’s a lot Namgyu could say. He thinks about anything and everything, he’s always had an imaginative mind so he even thinks about the things that do not exist.
That’s how he used to create scenarios for his drawings. A group of friends on a winter getaway to a lodge at the top of a ski resort— no Wendigo’s, though, this isn’t Until Dawn.
But he thinks, at least recently, mostly about the man at his side. Thanos has been in his thoughts since the moment he first walked into Club Pentagon. Even before the games, he was sometimes the first thing on his mind when he awoke in the morning.
He thinks about the moments they’ve shared, and the fact that they basically live like a couple despite not being an official one. Namgyu would love for them to be together, like officially together to the point where they think of each other as ‘boyfriends’.
“I think about you,” he says, and he’ll never forget the way Thanos had refused to be pulled onto the rescue boats until Namgyu was safe first. He’d quite literally batted the soldiers hand away, telling him that he wasn’t going anywhere until he knew for certain that Namgyu was okay.
It didn’t matter to Thanos that he couldn’t swim well, and that staying afloat was growing more and more difficult, he just wanted to know that the man he cared so much for was okay. Namgyu had been pulled to safety first, and then the soldier had come back for Thanos immediately afterwards.
Thanos feels a nervous ball growing in the base of his stomach, but oddly enough it’s not entirely unpleasant. “You do?”
Another quiet confession, ”I think about you all the time.”
Thanos takes a moment to register these words. Sure they’ve been living together since they were allowed out of the hotel, but he never liked to just assume that Namgyu would keep him around.
He had lost his cross necklace in the ocean somewhere, and he hadn’t cared one bit. He thought he’d feel hopeless without it, but he didn’t. Losing it to a place he knew he’d never be able to find it— it was rather freeing, actually.
When the time came for the players who had homes to return to them, Namgyu had invited Thanos to stay with him. Thanos didn’t have a home to go to, and he didn’t want to be left behind. Namgyu didn’t want to leave Thanos behind, so it worked out very well.
Thanos is honest, so incredibly honest, when he tells the younger that, ”I think about you all the time too.”
Namgyu looks up at him then, properly, and Thanos sends him a small smile, hoping the expression hides just how nervous he feels and instead shows just how happy he is at the exact same time. Namgyu tilts his head ever so slightly to the left, and he returns the expression.
”Su-bong, I—”
But he cannot finish. There are a pair of familiar lips against his own, and Namgyu melts into the action immediately, their bodies becoming one in the perfect way that they normally do. Their first kiss had been in the games, rushed and desperate kisses between undressing each other and falling into an empty bathroom stall, but this is the exact opposite of that.
Thanos’ right hand, his free hand, comes up to cup the left side of Namgyu’s face, cradling him like he’s the most delicate thing on earth. They separate after a moment, and Thanos tilts his head forward in order to place their foreheads together.
Three words that make him feel as if he’s died and gone to heaven a million times over because really what on earth has he done in his life to deserve hearing them from someone like Namgyu, “I love you.”
He connects their lips once more, his heart overflowing and his mind racing but in the most amazing way. The older tells him, “I love you too.”
Namgyu cannot help but ask, to check to make sure he’s not hearing things, “you do?”
”I do,” Thanos nods, and he moves back ever so slightly so that he’s able to look into the eyes of the other man, “I love you so much.”
The younger has a look of pure adoration in his eyes, “does— does that mean— can we be—”
Thanos offers, lightly amused, “boyfriends? A couple? Dating? Lovers?”
Neither of them have done this before, so they’re sort of figuring it out as they go along. Thanos has never been in a relationship, and neither has Namgyu. They’re not as experienced in the romance department as many people assume them to be.
Namgyu had a few brief crushes on boys at school, but it was sort of an unwritten rule, at least in his year group, that you never told anyone you fancied them. If you liked someone, you kept it to yourself and that was it. It was always a shock whenever students held hands through the corridors, because it meant that someone had caved and confessed their feelings first.
Thanos never had time to think about romance, he had other things on his mind. The only people who interacted with him at school were bullies, and that one friend he had before she moved towns and never contacted him again— not that he blames her, he didn’t contact her either, they didn’t have a way to.
He often wonders what she’s up to now, and if she’s ever listened to any of the music he already has out in the world. He didn’t ever have feelings for her. She was more of a second sister than anything else.
Namgyu nods, “if you want that as w—”
”Of course I want that.”
“So we’re dating now? You’re my boyfriend?”
Thanos chuckles and he kisses Namgyu again, “I’m your boyfriend. And you’re my boyfriend.”
Namgyu smiles and he basically launches himself into the other man’s arms, wrapping his own arms loosely around the other’s neck, knocking the rapper backwards in the process so that his back hits the arm of the sofa.
Thanos chuckles, and he wraps his arms around Namgyu’s waist in order to return the embrace, pulling the younger further down into his lap, the other man’s knees resting contently against either side of his hips.
Namgyu looks down at him, his right arm moving so that he can place his right hand onto the left side of Thanos’ face. He smiles, looking into the eyes of the man he loves.
His boyfriend.
They knew the moment they left the games that they meant more to each other than ‘just friends’, but a lot was going on and even if they did want to talk about it, they didn’t really have the time to do so and they weren’t in the correct headspace.
Neither wanted to ruin what they had, or what was developing between them, so they didn’t rush a conversation for the sake of having it. They left the games together, they are slowly but surely healing together, and today was the right day to talk about what they really mean to each other.
Namgyu and Thanos had fallen in love the moment they first saw each other, and hadn’t realised that fact immediately. They shared a bed most nights during the games, and were practically glued to one another during the day hours. Wherever one went, the other was bound to quickly follow.
Namgyu had saved Thanos’ life, and the two had realised in that moment that they never wanted to be separated, not unless necessary. They wanted their lives to entwine, and they wanted to make sure their lives entwined for however long left they both have on earth.
They had stayed together during Gi-hun’s little revolt, both as stunned as each other when they had realised it had actually worked. No offence to Gi-hun, but they really didn’t expect the plan, in the long run, to go as well as it had done.
After the games they lived as a couple without officially being one. They shared the same bed, they kissed, and they cuddled, and they caressed each other’s bodies with delicate movements. They had sex once in the orange haze of the morning light, and it wasn’t nearly as rushed as their first time together had been.
This was slow, and it was passionate in the same way their first time in the bathrooms had been, but it was a more gentle passion. They trusted each other. Thanos made Namgyu feel as good as the shorter made him feel, their bodies moving in perfect synchronisation like they were made to be together, and like they’d had sex many times before and not just the once.
They took the time to get to know each other properly, they took the time to adjust to living in the world again. Thanos has started writing music again, and he often goes to Namgyu to find out what he thinks. He trusts the other to be honest with him.
Rap has never been Namgyu’s main genre of music, but he’s willing to learn to love it. It’s impressive, really, how easy rhymes fall from the other’s mouth.
With his eyes holding nothing but adoration, and maybe a hint of relief, Namgyu tells him once more, ”I love you.”
Thanos grins, and he leans up to kiss Namgyu, and he tells him once their lips become their own again, “I love you too.”
The clock on the wall reads the time of their official getting together as: 14:30pm.
This specific time of the day can also be read as: 02:30pm.
Notes:
also thangyu high school au because yes: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70242411/chapters/182402141
Chapter 11: gift giving.
Notes:
the receiving gifts love language is about feeling loved and appreciated through tangible items that symbolise thoughtfulness and care.
it’s not about the monetary value of the gift, but rather the effort and sentiment behind it.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
august 2028.
Thanos is set to return home from tour any moment now, based on his most recent text regarding how far away he is, having been gone for almost two months to perform in a few countries within Europe.
To say Namgyu has been counting down the days until their reunion would be the absolute understatement of the century.
He waits by the front door, almost like a young child eager to greet their parent coming in from work, and has no shame about it whatsoever. He’s missed him, of course he has, even if he has been quite busy himself.
The door clicks open after a few minutes, a few minutes that feels more like a few hours, goes by. Namgyu smiles brightly when finally his gaze meets the gaze of his boyfriend, the boyfriend of his who looks equally as excited to see him.
”Namsu!”
He doesn’t even have the urge to correct the pronunciation of his name, and that urge just generally doesn’t come as often anymore. He simply jumps into the other man’s open arms, being held in a protective hold that makes him feel as if none of the world’s sometimes cruel nature can get him.
Thanos presses a kiss to the side of Namgyu’s head, feeling the shorter’s legs wrap contently around his waist. There is only one thing he has brought in with him from the car, he’s fairly certain he’s even left his phone in there.
A gift for his boyfriend sits in his pocket, and he’s very proud of this gift so cannot wait to pass it to him— that can wait a few more moments, though.
Thanos takes an additional step into the house, and kicks the door closed behind him, thankful he remembered to lock his car before announcing his return home. Both himself and Namgyu own cars, they can both drive but Namgyu prefers not to whenever possible because he simply doesn’t like it.
Thanos carries his boyfriend to the lounge of their home, placing him down on the sofa and immediately crawling on top of him, pressing kisses to every available spot of skin he’s able to, cherishing the fond giggles, yes giggles, that leave the back of his partner’s throat as he does so.
Namgyu is wearing a short-sleeve t-shirt, something rare for the both of them even in the summer months, so his arms and hands receive the same affection as his neck, jawline, and every part of his face does.
His face is bright red by the end of it, and he covers his blush with his hands, a little mortified, but Thanos sits up, straddling him comfortably, and he uses his hands to guide Namgyu’s hands away from his face.
The younger smiles brightly up at the older, and the older matches the expression. Thanos entwines his fingers in Namgyu’s, and guides the shorter’s hands to his hips. They settle there comfortably, and then Thanos leans down to press a kiss to his partner’s lips, his hands leaving Namgyu’s and resting against the pillow either side of his head.
A kiss that stops far too quickly, and Thanos chuckles softly when Namgyu whines as he pulls back. He doesn’t go far, though.
”Did you miss me?”
“Of course I missed you,” is the reply, “did you miss me?”
”Every day,” Thanos nods, “more and more each day.”
Namgyu smiles, “you’re so cute.”
The older hums happily, and then leans down to connect their lips once more. He moves upward again, and moves back to properly sit up. Namgyu’s hands are still comfortably resting on either side of Thanos’ waist.
And because he can’t wait any longer, ”I have a present for you.”
”You do?”
“I do,” Thanos nods, and then he moves off his partner’s body to stand beside the sofa. Namgyu pushes himself up into a sitting position, pulling his knees towards his chest. “It’s really cool, you’re going to love it.”
Namgyu doesn’t doubt that, he absolutely adores everything that Thanos buys for him. He tells Thanos constantly that buying gifts, though he appreciates it, isn’t necessary— but does his boyfriend listen? No, absolutely not.
They have matching hoodies that Thanos had brought for them. Namgyu had pretended not to like the hoodies for a few days, but eventually he decided that he didn’t want to keep up the facade anymore and wore it after waking up one morning.
Thanos had been beyond thrilled when his boyfriend came downstairs wearing the clothing item. Of course he had to post a picture of them on his Instagram story, and of course Se-mi told them that they make her feel sick.
They also have matching necklaces, one a moon and one a star, but they were from one of Thanos’ fans. She’d made them, and they’re very cool. Thanos has the star, and Namgyu has the moon. The moon is a crescent one, and Thanos’ star is small enough to clip onto the inside of the curve.
It’s like those half-heart friendship necklaces that join together to make a full heart, only instead of a heart it’s the moon and a star.
Thanos removes something from his pocket, and it’s a small envelope that’s ever so slightly folded over at the top. He thrusts it out towards Namgyu, and the younger takes it thankfully.
The envelope is easy to open, the tape ripping immediately. He pulls the gift out, and it’s a bracelet. The bracelet itself is black, and there’s a silver circle in the middle, the circle would sit in the middle of his wrist when wearing it. The circle has a date engraved on it.
24.11.24
That’s the day they became a couple, it’s their anniversary day. He looks up at Thanos, and the purple-haired man is basically vibrating with excitement.
”Open it.”
”Open it?”
”The circle opens, Namsu.”
His intrigue overpowers his confusion and his urge to ask any more questions. Namgyu looks back down at the bracelet in his hands, and he opens the circle.
He’s greeted by a picture of what looks to be the night sky, but he isn’t certain. His confusion must be clear on his face, because the other man speaks up:
”It’s what the stars looked like on the day we got together,” Thanos explains, “like the official day, our anniversary day.”
His heart melts, but before he can say anything, his boyfriend speaks up once more:
”The first night we spent together when we got out of the hotel, back in your old flat, you told me that you didn’t like Science class, but that you loved learning about space. I saw a lady making these when I was in, um, Norway, I think, and I thought you might like it? Because it’s the stars— it’s what space looked like when we became boyfriends. Get it?”
”I— yeah, yeah, I get it,” Namgyu nods, and he studies the photo some more, and he takes in just how beautiful the sky looked on the day they got together.
”Do you like it?”
He doesn’t register the question, the world around him fading into nothing. He feels so incredibly cherished, and his boyfriend is so good at making him feel that way. There are songs about him out in the world, for goodness sakes, songs that have been streamed a ridiculous amount of times.
He and Thanos had this conversation, the one about school and space, almost three years ago— and he remembered, remembered enough to make a present, a perfect present, out of it.
Thanos grows a little nervous due to the lack of reply, “Namsu? Love?”
The other looks away from the present, and up at his boyfriend. Thanos is worried, clearly, and he feels guilty for making him feel that way when Thanos has just made him feel so many wonderful things all at one time.
“Thank you.”
”Namsu—”
”It’s perfect,” he tells him, and Thanos visibly relaxes.
”It is?”
”Yes,” Namgyu nods, and he stands so that he’s able to bring the other man into his arms, and Thanos of course goes gladly, returning the embrace by securing his own arms around his lover’s body. Namgyu pulls back ever so slightly in order to look the other man in the eyes, “thank you. Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome, my Namsu.”
The other chuckles softly, and he brings his hands up to cup his boyfriend’s face, watching him with an expression of adoration on his face, fondness within his eyes. The cool metal of the silver circle on the bracelet hits Thanos’ skin and causes a silent shiver to run up his body.
Namgyu has never really liked the ‘Namsu’ nickname, but he absolutely adores when Thanos puts ‘my’ in front of it.
”I love you,” he tells him because he means it, and because he has no idea what amazing thing he’d done in a previous life to deserve having Thanos in this one.
Thanos replies swiftly, ”I love you more.”
”We are not having this argument again.”
The last time they tried the ‘I love you more’ thing, they were sat on their bed for thirty minutes arguing pettily about who loves who more. They came to the agreement, eventually, that they love each other the exact same amount.
Thanos hums, and nods, and then he leans in to kiss Namgyu, and Namgyu kisses him back, eyes closing and body practically melting against the body of the man he loves. His right hand moves to the back of Thanos’ head, his fingertips slotting into the strands of hair there.
In a matter of seconds the kiss is heated, which is pretty standard for them. They’ve got a bit of an ‘anytime, anywhere’ reputation when it comes to anything intimate. Their first time, and their first kiss, together in the bathroom during the games is enough to prove that fact.
Thanos pulls back, though, before anything else can happen, but the whine that gets released from the back of Namgyu’s throat, slightly frustrated sounding, goes straight to his head. He kisses him again, because he’s nice like that.
”Can you help me bring my stuff in please?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, and he accepts the kiss that is placed against his jawline with a small gasp, “you’ll have to— you’ll have to stop, Su-bong, or—”
”Or you’ll succumb to my irresistible charm?”
”Is that what you call it?”
Thanos bites down on the skin of his lovers neck, and Namgyu moans, his head falling ever so slightly backwards, his body sub-consciously giving the older more access to his skin.
Thanos kisses the spot he just bit, already proud of the small mark beginning to blossom there, as a way to soothe it. He says against the other’s neck, “not nice.”
Namgyu brings his head back upward again, saying a small, ”I’m always nice.”
Thanos hums, and he moves his lips back up to Namgyu’s, and he connects them once more. Namgyu sighs contently into the exchange, and then he pulls back. He pulls away, even, he steps out of Thanos’ hold and the older cannot help but be proud of the slightly dazed look in the other’s eyes.
Namgyu is wearing his glasses. He looks so damn good in his glasses.
”I’m helping you,” is what the shorter says before he heads in the direction of the front door, leaving the bracelet sitting safely on one of their storage cabinets as he passes it. Thanos watches him go before quickly following after him.
They collect everything they need from the car. Suitcases, and there a few cardboard boxes that are filled with fan gifts from ‘meet and greets’. Some stuff Thanos is allowed to keep, and some he isn’t. If someone has gifted him a food item, for example, he cannot keep it because the ingredients cannot be guaranteed.
The boxes all end up in the lounge, suitcases too, because they’ll most likely unpack and sort everything out tomorrow or later on this evening. Thanos has plenty of clothes here already, he doesn’t need to rush to wash any of the ones he’d taken on tour with him.
Namgyu looks through the gift boxes, and his eyes are drawn to an incredibly detailed drawing of Thanos. It’s in pencil, proper Art pencils, and the hair stands out incredibly so because it’s the only part of the drawing that has any colour to it. Namgyu has always loved Art, he has his own Art studio upstairs.
”Have a look at the one under it.”
Upon hearing Thanos’ words, Namgyu realises that this piece of paper and another piece are being kept together using a paper clip. He flips the page, and an instant smile works its way onto his face.
It’s him. One of Thanos’ fans has drawn him too, and it’s fucking brilliant. The name in the corner of the page reads: Elise, and Namgyu see’s that her Art account on Instagram is written there in the corner too. He makes a mental note to check it out later, having got an Art account of his own.
”Cool, isn’t it?”
Namgyu nods, “really cool.”
“She had said she was working on a drawing of the both of us,” Thanos begins, and he’s stood with his own boxes a small distance away, “but didn’t finish it in time. She didn’t want to hand it over half-finished, so she wrote her Instagram on there if we wanted to see it when it was finally done.”
Namgyu is most definitely going to check out her Instagram now, and he’ll make sure he’s one of the people who leave a like on the post of the drawing whenever she ends up uploading it.
”She follows your Art account,” Thanos says, “told me that college sort of killed her love for it a bit. Then she started listening to my music, and then she found out who you were, and apparently your Art helped to inspire her to start drawing again. I told her I’d pass the message on, and that was like weeks ago so I’m very proud of myself for remembering, by the way.”
Okay, he had meant to text Namgyu a slightly longer version of that story, but he had completely forgotten to do that. In his defence, the mattress of the hotel room was incredibly comfy and he had been exhausted.
The fact that he has inspired someone to continue with a passion they were falling out of love with makes him so happy. Elise, whatever she may be doing right now, has fallen back in love with drawing, with Art in general, and he’s part of the reason why.
”You good there, Namsu?”
“Yeah,” the younger nods, “perfect, actually.”
”I know you are.”
Namgyu chuckles softly, and he turns to his boyfriend, “very smooth.”
”Thank you,” Thanos nods, “I do try.”
The shorter hums, and then he turns his attention back to the drawing. He stores it safely away where he found it, and he looks through a few more gifts before he stands and glances around elsewhere.
Namgyu spots a dark blue bag, and there’s a teddy bear sitting at the very top of it.
”Is this a bag of gifts as well?”
Thanos shakes his head even though Namgyu cannot see him doing so, “no, that’s my stuff that I brought.”
“Is it all for you?”
”No,” Thanos says, and that means that perhaps this stuffed animal isn’t his.
Namgyu picks it up, and he looks over it. It’s a small teddy bear that seems to be one of the decorative ones you put on a shelf or something.
The teddy bear is a little beige one with a black button nose. It’s wearing a dark blue t-shirt with the Swedish flag on it. It’s really cute, and its eyes sparkle under the light above him.
He asks, curious and confused because it’s not like Thanos to buy himself a teddy bear of all things, ”who is the teddy bear for?”
Thanos turns to where Namgyu is stood with the stuffed animal in his hands, and he tells him, “it’s for, um, it’s for Sang-mi.”
The words take a few seconds to process in his mind, but when they do, his confused expression relaxes, and his heart swells. He turns to his partner, who is stood looking rather sheepish, and he asks, adoration laced within his voice, “you got her a present?”
Thanos nods, “yeah, is— is that okay? I’m sorry I didn’t ask first, I just assumed that it would be f—”
”Of course it’s okay,” Namgyu smiles, knowing just how much his younger sister is going to love the present, “that was really sweet of you, Su-bong.”
”She just— she mentioned liking teddy bears, and obviously I’ve seen how many she has,” he begins, “I thought of her as soon as I saw it. Thought it would make a nice addition to her collection.”
Sang-mi has always loved stuffed animals. She has many at home, and it’s gotten to the point where she now has a designated bookshelf for them. Some live on her bed, most live on the bookshelf. The bookshelf is also the home of, well, a few books and a singular fake plant. She does like to read, though not as much as her brother does.
”She’ll love it,” Namgyu says, and he looks back down at the gift in his hands, and really he feels as if he’s fallen in love all over again.
Thanos has always gotten along very well with Sang-mi. She thinks he’s one of the most amazing people ever, and he thinks the same about her. She had been the one to help him unpack the music studio when they moved into this house at the beginning of the year.
”You think?”
”Oh, I know,” Namgyu nods, and he looks back at Thanos, “thank you.”
The taller blinks, “for?”
”Getting her this,” he says, “she’s— she’s always been so important to me, obviously, so seeing how well you two get along makes me really happy.”
Thanos sends him a smile, one that’s fond. Sang-mi is actually really funny, and she’s a very interesting character. They have plenty of secret gossip sessions whenever Namgyu is in the kitchen, and these gossip sessions, naturally, are mostly about him.
Sang-mi is incredibly kind, and it’s clear she’s got a big heart beneath her chest. She’s thoughtful, and considerate, and very understanding. The teen is patient too, and Thanos had noticed very quickly that she also does the ‘sweater paws’ thing Namgyu does.
”She’s a great kid, Namsu,” Thanos says, and then he suddenly remembers, “oh, shit, there’s a present for your Mum in there somewhere too.”
Namgyu wants to marry this man. “There is?!”
”Yes,” Thanos nods. The fridge in the kitchen of Namgyu’s childhood home is covered with magnets. Namgyu’s Mum, Eun-sook, loves to collect them, so Thanos had brought her one in two of the countries he visited. Sweden, to match Sang-mi’s teddy bear, and Denmark.
”Did you buy your own family anything?”
”Oh, no,” Thanos shakes his head, “having me as a brother is enough for Nam-ra, I think.”
Namgyu chuckles softly. “What about Min-seok?”
”The little man doesn’t even talk, Namsu,” the older says, “there will be plenty of opportunities for me to get him gifts in the future.”
Their nephew is one, and he’s such a laid-back infant that he fits right in with the adults and just sits contently with a toy of some kind. He doesn’t cry when he’s hungry, he just pats his mouth. When he’s tired, his eyes go all red and he rubs them constantly. He’s fallen asleep on Namgyu’s lap plenty of times. Apparently, in his mind, it’s one of the most comfiest spots.
Namgyu places the teddy bear down, and it sits in the exact same place he’d found it. He moves away from it, and he takes the box out of Thanos’ hands that he’d just picked up.
”Such a gentleman—”
But Namgyu doesn’t take it upstairs for him, and he doesn’t even consider doing so. Instead, he places it back down exactly where Thanos had gotten it from.
The older looks confused, “what are you—”
Namgyu’s hands move to the back of his lover’s head, and he brings him into a kiss that is immediately filled with heat, and Thanos smirks softly into the exchange as he returns the action, placing his hands onto his partner’s waist and lightly squeezing the flesh there.
Namgyu pulls back from him, “go upstairs and lay on the bed for me.”
It’s not a question, but it’s not quite a demand either. It’s more of a request.
Thanos tilts his head to the side, questioning playfully, “and why exactly, my love, should I do that?”
Namgyu kisses him once more, and then he presses a kiss to the other’s jawline, his left hand dropping from his partner’s face to rest at the top of his arm instead.
He works his way along the jawline until he’s kissing up to the base of his ear. A content sigh leaves the back of the older’s throat.
The words are whispered into the rapper’s right ear, his stomach flipping with excitement as they leave the mouth of the shorter, ”I want to show you exactly how much I’ve missed you.”
Notes:
this chapter can also be read separately here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70256436
Chapter 12: acts of service + quality time + physical touch.
Notes:
acts of service love language is performing helpful tasks or doing favours for someone to show you care.
quality time emphasises the importance of focused, undivided attention and meaningful engagement between individuals.
the physical touch love language emphasises expressing and receiving affection through physical contact.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
february 2027.
Namgyu is working until the early hours of the morning, and so Thanos is currently home alone wallowing in his own self-pity because how dare Namgyu leave him for work of all things?
He’s awake, sleep just isn’t coming easily to him tonight. It’s just past midnight, and it’s his first evening by himself in their new home. Their new home is brilliant, and he loves absolutely every inch of it.
The television has long been on standby, and he’s long been sitting on the sofa, staring up the ceiling, trying desperately to ignore the dull ache beginning to form within his neck.
The ceiling of their lounge, as well as their bedroom and the guest bedrooms, is patterned. The lines weave in and out of each other in a way that’s almost hypnotising.
Thanos sighs softly, the house is far too quiet and his mind is far too loud. Upstairs suddenly calls for him, and so he leaves the sofa, collecting his phone from the coffee table as he does so.
His phone goes into the front pocket of his hoodie, and yes it’s his own merchandise because Namgyu had designed it and it’s wonderful. The stairs creak beneath him as he heads up them, and he cringes despite knowing he won’t disturb anyone because there’s no one else here to disturb.
There’s a chill in the air upstairs, and he heads straight for his bedroom, a bedroom that isn’t entirely free of cardboard boxes yet. He places his phone down onto the mattress, and then sits beside it.
A few rooms within their house are completely unpacked, and that’s mostly because they had the least amount of stuff for it. The music room and the Art studio/Library have the most boxes in them.
He stands, and remembers the comment Namgyu had made earlier about how he was dreading putting the bookshelf together, and Thanos had thought he’d been putting it off for a while. It seemed Namgyu was everywhere but the place where his two most favourite hobbies live.
Namgyu has always loved reading, and he loves Art too. He’d wanted to go to school for it at some point, Thanos had learnt that when they were in the games, but could never actually afford it and now he doesn’t see the point in going no matter how many times Thanos tries to convince him to.
He flicks the light of the room on, and the room is almost amusingly empty. There are a few posters on the wall, and that’s quite literally it. They had mutually agreed that the Music room was Thanos’ space to sort out, and this room was Namgyu’s.
Thanos has had help from Namgyu’s little sister, Sang-mi, though. She loves music too and wished to spend more time with him, and he didn’t mind having an assistant in the form of someone he thinks is very cool.
The dreaded bookshelf is still in its box, and so Thanos quickly dashes downstairs, totally not almost falling over his own feet in the process, to collect the scissors from the kitchen drawer. He comes back to the room, and gets to work.
The cardboard box is difficult to open, but he manages it after about two minutes of fight. He lays all of the parts of the bookshelf out in front of him, making sure he doesn’t lose any pieces, and the instructions, at least to him, make absolutely zero sense whatsoever but he’s willing to push through it.
He wants to help Namgyu, and he wants to take this task off his shoulders. The younger man will be thrilled, hopefully, when he comes home to see it completed.
This is going to take slightly longer than expected, he’s never put furniture together before because his Sister used to do all of that, and so he heads back to the bedroom to collect his phone because music is an absolute must.
He places his phone to the floor of the Art studio, and presses play on a playlist of songs that remind him of Namgyu. He’s not sappy, he swears he isn’t.
Sometimes when he’s performing and can’t make it home, he listens to the songs to feel Namgyu’s presence.
Thanos takes his time with the construction of the bookcase, and it’s closer to one in the morning by the time he’s finished. He props it up against the far wall, because that’s where Namgyu had previously planned to put it, and then he opens a box titled: books.
His boyfriend likes his books to be organised in alphabetical order by the last name of the author, and so that’s what Thanos does. He sings the alphabet song about fifty times in his own head as he places the books out onto the floor.
He chooses to do it this way because it makes more sense in his head. Once the books are all laid out in correct order, he places them one-by-one on the shelf. He then retrieves the fake plant and puts it on the top of the furniture piece, and he collects the cup of bookmarks and places it on the far left of the top shelf.
Thanos shuffles backwards, and he looks at his creation with a smile. He thinks he’s done a good job, he hopes he’s done a good job. Namgyu will be pleased that this task has been completed for him, and Thanos is pleased to help out in any way that he can.
He loves Namgyu, simply adores him, and he’d do anything for the younger man— even if it means putting a bookshelf together. He starts to consider what else he could do. Thanos doesn’t want to touch any of the Art supplies simply because he doesn’t really get it and doesn’t know where Namgyu wants everything to go.
He wants to be helpful, not a hinderance.
Another box catches his eye, and he opens it to find the little posters Namgyu had up in his old flat. These posters were above the old bookshelf, the bookshelf they had to leave behind much to the shorter’s dismay.
He takes them out carefully, and makes a mental note to order some frames for them. For now, though, he places them against the wall above the bookshelf in the exact same order Namgyu had them before.
What else? He hasn’t washed up yet, he could do that. He’d forgotten about it completely, naturally, and so he grabs his phone, music still playing, turns off the light and heads downstairs. The dishes he leaves drying on the rack beside the sink, and now it’s nearly half past one.
Thanos takes himself back upstairs again, making sure to turn the television off before doing so, and he lays down on the mattress of his bed. He turns on the lamp beside him, and the room is illuminated in a gentle glow, the sort of glow you’d see in a video game about a girl with the power to rewind time.
He scrolls through Instagram for a while before dropping off into a content sleep, his phone falling from his hands to rest somewhere on the mattress.
****
There’s an thudding in the back of his head as he climbs the stairs of his home at just before four in the morning, every bone aching more and more with each step he takes.
You’d think he’d be immune to headaches considering how long he’s worked in the Club Pentagon for, standing there whilst music blares in his ears, but that’s not the case.
Namgyu yawns, abandoning his bag somewhere in the corridor, making sure it’s against a wall so there’s no risk of anyone potentially falling over it.
His shift had been like any other. Nothing special really happens, and he listens in on every gossip session both fellow staff members and guests have.
He enters his bedroom, and takes a moment to admire the man fast asleep. Thanos is slightly curled in on himself, and he looks so incredibly peaceful. Namgyu grabs his clothes to wear for bed from the top of their dresser, and as to not disturb the other man, he heads to the bathroom to get changed.
On his way out of that room, however, he notices an open door he most definitely did not leave open. His curiosity wins, as it always does, and he approaches his Art studio, and his heart is warm when he turns the light on and finds the bookcase stood proudly against the wall.
There is only one person who could’ve done this, there’s only one person he lives with. He smiles fondly at it, realising another detail in the form of his books being organised the way in which he likes them to be the most.
Namgyu turns the light of the room off, and he heads back to his bedroom. His work clothes get abandoned to the floor, he doesn’t need them for another two days, and he carefully picks Thanos’ phone up.
The screen turns on as he does so, and the picture he is greeted by is one of himself. The phone is at 21% battery, so Namgyu puts it on charge because Thanos would be distraught if the device didn’t turn on in the morning.
He bends down to place a kiss to the sleeping man’s forehead, and he turns the lamp off after he has does that. Namgyu then moves to the end of the bed, and he crawls up the mattress so that he can lay at his boyfriend’s side.
He cannot see him very well through the darkness of the room, but he lifts his left hand and slowly, cautiously, searches for the other’s body.
He finds Thanos’ head, and then he slowly brushes his fingertips over his skin until he finds the right side of the man’s face. He cups the body part, and slowly runs his thumb up and down his boyfriend’s cheekbone.
Thanos stirs slightly in his sleep, mumbling something Namgyu cannot understand, and then he decides to inform the younger man that he’s properly awake and conscious through an action rather an a verbal confirmation.
Namgyu feels a kiss being pressed to the bottom of his palm, and he chuckles softly.
”Namsu?”
He responds with soft, fond, “hey, sweetheart. Are you alright?”
Thanos hums, and nods, “yeah.” A beat of silence goes by, and then he asks, “how was work?”
”Same as normal,” he replies and Thanos kisses the bottom of his palm again. Namgyu tells him, “thank you for building my bookshelf.”
”You’re welcome,” and the older sounds so incredibly proud of himself, “it wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. I even sorted your books out for you the way that you like.”
”I saw,” Namgyu says, and he momentarily leans over to press a kiss to his partner’s forehead, “I appreciate it.”
And he really does, because this is the one task he wanted to get completed but could never actually bring himself to do. He’s not the best at building things. He tried to help out as a teenager in the form of building his little sister’s crib and he messed that up completely.
Somehow he managed to build the damn thing the complete wrong way, it didn’t even remotely look like a crib when he’d finished. His Mum still has the photo of him staring at it with a defeated expression on his face. He hates that photo with a burning passion.
He can’t blame the inaccurate building on his lack of glasses. He’s had glasses since he was fourteen, and he was most definitely wearing them that day.
”Namsu?”
“Yeah?”
”Do you have a favourite book?”
”I don’t know,” Namgyu tells him, “not really.”
”Okay.”
Namgyu questions, “why do you ask?”
”Just curious, I suppose.”
There isn’t really a specific genre Namgyu sticks to. He likes Classic books, and he likes fantasy, mostly the fantasy novels that include dragons of some kind. He likes the odd crime book, and he reads plays too.
”Can I help you with your Art stuff when you unpack it?”
A slightly amused, “you really want to?”
Thanos nods, “yes please.”
”Are you sure?”
There’s some shuffling, and then Namgyu feels a body slotting comfortably against his own. Thanos wraps his right arm around him, pulling the younger impossibly closer by the waist. Namgyu’s chin soon rests on top of Thanos’ purple hair.
”Yes please.”
Namgyu places his left arm around Thanos’ shoulders, and adjusts his head for a second so that he can press a kiss to the top of his boyfriend’s head.
”That would be nice.”
“You can teach me how you like those organised too,” Thanos says, “so that if they get messed up at some point, I can clean them for you or sort them out like I did with your books.”
A small, fond smile appears on Namgyu’s face, and he really does pity the people who think Thanos is simply loud and annoying. He is those things, sure, but there’s a lot more to his character too.
Thanos is kind, and he is thoughtful. He’s protective too, especially over those he loves. Sang-mi, Namgyu’s sister, had casually mentioned the other day that a kid at school had said something not very nice to her, and Namgyu had then had to spend twenty minutes explaining to Thanos why he absolutely could not go to the school and tell the other kid to their face that they’re stupid.
Of course deep down Thanos knew he couldn’t do that, and even in an incredibly strange world where he could, he obviously wouldn’t have done it— doesn’t mean that the comment didn’t irritate him, though.
Namgyu presses another kiss to his boyfriend’s hair, and then he moves his left arm slightly to bring his hand up. He threads the tips of his fingers into the purple locks.
He tells him, “I love you.”
Thanos hums, and Namgyu can feel his shoulders beginning to even out, “I love you too, Namsu.”
”Namgyu.”
”No.”
”Yes.”
”No.”
”Yes.”
”Namsu, Namsu, Namsu, Namsu, Nams—”
”Idiot, idiot, idiot—”
Thanos frowns, “that is not nice.”
Namgyu chuckles softly, and he begins to caress the back of the other’s head, helping to lull him back to sleep.
”I am wonderful.”
The older is quiet, and then, “you are.”
”I’m what?”
”You’re wonderful,” Thanos agrees, “my Namsu.”
Namgyu feels his heart skip a beat beneath his chest, and he always feels this whenever the ‘my’ is added in front of the other nickname.
For the longest time he’d thought that Thanos was purposely saying his name wrong just to get on his nerves, but then a rather bashful Thanos informed him of the reason why he calls him that.
’Namgyu’, his actual name, means ‘Southern Standard’, but ‘Namsu’ means ‘Southern Beauty’. ‘Nam’ is a Korean family name meaning ‘South’ and ‘Su’ has the common meanings of: excellent, beautiful, talent, and elegant.
He heart had warmed and it had only got warmer when he realised just how long Thanos had been calling him that. Even in the games, the rapper never called him the correct name, and at that moment he knew why.
Namgyu yawns softly, and without even properly registering the action he performs, his eyes slip closed. He can practically hear Thanos’ thoughts running at a million miles per hour, though.
Sleep is quickly coming for him, as is a pleasant dream, he feels his consciousness slowly begin to slip away, his entire body relaxing. But then—
“Namsu!”
He flinches awake, startled by the sudden noise, “what?!”
”I just realised that our ship name can literally be Namsu!”
The younger blinks, confused, “our what now?”
”Our ship name,” Thanos says, “fans call us Thangyu, you know? It’s a mixture of both of our names.”
Ah, so that’s what that is. He and Thanos had gone public with their relationship, the softest of soft launches if you will, about seven months into it. They got together in November, and the world found out about them in the following June.
Namgyu had been nervous because Thanos had put a few songs out and was steadily regaining popularity. Old fans were coming back, new fans were arriving, and fans who had been there the entire time were excited for his return— he didn’t want to risk it all for him.
But Thanos had told him that he didn’t want to hide their love, or hide Namgyu, and that the only fans he wanted around were the ones who liked him for who he truly is. Namgyu had still been hesitant, and so Thanos had told him that they absolutely didn’t need to reveal their relationship yet if the younger man didn’t want to.
Namgyu sat with the thought for a few days, and then he told Thanos that he was happy to inform the fans, or the world, really, of their relationship.
The ‘soft launch’ was a photo of Namgyu on Thanos’ story with a heart and his account tagged because Namgyu had told him he didn’t mind having the account up there— okay, maybe it wasn’t as soft of a launch as they thought.
The amount of follow requests he received was overwhelming to the point where he had to turn the notifications for them off. Thanos did keep the Namgyu content on his Instagram to a minimum because he knew that Namgyu didn’t like so much attention on him.
It took a while to adjust, but eventually he did. Now he talks to fans of Thanos at the club he works in whenever the opportunity arises for him to do so. More often than not, when fans approach them, it’s the pair of them they wish to speak to and not just the rapper.
Namgyu has had many conversations on the streets with fans, and he’s been talked about in ‘meet and greets’ too. The first time a fan asked for a photo, and wished for him to be included in it so long as he was comfortable— well to say he’d been shocked was an understatement.
One teenage boy, probably not much younger than what Sang-mi is, had brought his sister along to a ‘meet and greet’ because she had a present not for Thanos, but for Namgyu instead.
Namgyu had kept his personal Instagram account private for a while, and then eventually got the confidence around two years into their relationship to make it public.
The day after he’d made it public, he posted for their two year anniversary and he is certain he’s never seen a post go up in likes so quickly before.
He did have his Art account tagged in his bio, though, so therefore when Thanos announced their relationship in the way that he did, many people flocked to that one to follow instead because it’s always been public.
The amount of followers he gained upon making his personal account public, in the space of five minutes, was actually insane. He went from a few hundred followers to a few thousand in what felt like a blink of an eye.
People called them ‘Thangyu’ from the moment they knew of their relationship, and Namgyu had figured that putting their names together was easier than saying them separately. He hadn’t realised that ‘ship name’ is the correct term for it, though.
Namgyu says, “yes I’m aware of that.”
Artwork had been made for them, and on the back of the canvas was a little note that read: for the better half of thangyu and that rapper guy i like.
“Namsu would be the perfect ship name!”
Namgyu frowns, “I like Thangyu more.”
”No,” Thanos shakes his head, “Namsu is better.”
”How does it even—”
”Su-bong and Namgyu. It’s perfect.”
”It’s horrible.”
”No, it’s not.”
“It is.”
”I’ll make an Instagram poll for people to vote on which one is better, and you’ll see that I’m right.”
Namgyu rolls his eyes, and he does this because he knows that by the morning, this Instagram poll will exist.
”People don’t even know that’s your first name—”
”They do,” Thanos says, “they put it on my stupid Wikipedia page or whatever it’s called, so now every time someone googles me they can find out my name. And here I was being all super nonchalant about it.”
‘It’ being his real name. He had thought he’d been fairly good at being secretive about it, but the media found out somehow— he probably should’ve expected that, but still it’s annoying even if fans never call him anything but Thanos.
”You? Nonchalant? Never.” Namgyu is surprised Thanos even knows what that word means.
”I am very nonchalant when I want to be.”
Namgyu hums, the sound somewhat dismissive. He then waits a few seconds, and verbalises the observation he made years ago, “you really do hate your name, don’t you?”
”I do.”
”Can I ask why?”
Thanos shrugs lightly the best he can in Namgyu’s arms. “It’s a stupid name. Thanos is cooler.”
”And yet you let me call you it?”
The room is quiet, and there’s a certain shift in the air. Thanos hates his actual name because it was only ever said in a bitter tone. His parents, when they were around, always had something bad to say about him, and his teachers were always disappointed by his lack of effort in school. Bullies would taunt him down the hallways, calling after him.
His name holds a lot of bad memories, memories he’d rather forget but knows will stick with him forever. He never trusted anyone to know his real name on the off chance they’d use it in a negative way too— well, he didn’t trust anybody with it until he met Namgyu.
”You make my name sound nice.”
Namgyu doesn’t know what to say, and Thanos senses this so continues to explain:
”When I was a kid, nobody ever really said my name in a way that made it seem like worthy, you know? My sister did, and that was it.”
The younger’s shoulders suddenly feel heavy.
Thanos continues, “like they’d always say it in a negative way. It was always ‘Su-bong, you’ve done this wrong’ or ‘Su-bong, stop doing that’ or ‘Su-bong, you’re a fucking freak’ or whatever. It— I don’t know, it made me not like it.”
He thinks he may know the answer, but he asks as his arms tighten around the man he loves, “why me then?”
”I knew you wouldn’t use it in a bad way.”
Suddenly his vision blurs and that’s not due to his lack of glasses. He blinks away the tears in his eyes, and Thanos realises something is wrong so adjusts his head a little to press a small, comforting kiss to the skin of his partner’s neck.
”I trust you with it,” Thanos begins, “like how I trust you with everything else. You— I knew you would make Su-bong as worth it as Thanos is, and that you’d never— you’d never say my name in a bad way and actually mean it. It’s okay that you sometimes say it sounding all disappointed, because I know you’re joking. Everyone else— they weren’t joking, and so they made me want to leave Su-bong behind.”
“That’s horrible.”
”I suppose, yeah,” the older says, “I’m glad that Su-bong is back, though, because before the games I was starting to not be very fond of Thanos either. They balance each other out now, the two. I like them both the same.”
”Yeah?”
Thanos hums, and then, “I still only like you calling me Su-bong, though, it— it feels weird anyone else doing so. You make Su-bong sound great, and you say it in a way that makes me feel like safe, I suppose. Anytime I would hear my name as a kid I knew something bad was coming, but with you that never happens, and I never even for a second considered that it would.”
Namgyu isn’t often left speechless, but he’s trying his best to process all of this as quickly as he can. Thanos moves out of his hold, and Namgyu feels cold losing his touch. The room is dark, but suddenly they can see each other clearly.
”I’ve always liked my last name, though. I just don’t know which one sounds better— Choi-Jang Su-bong or Jang-Choi Su-bong.”
Namgyu blinks, “what—”
”For when we get married.”
The younger lets out a sound that’s a cross between a soft, shocked gasp and a chuckle, “we’re getting married, are we?”
”Yes,” Thanos nods, “I decided that the moment I first saw you— unless, like, you don’t want to—”
”No, no,” Namgyu stops that train of thought immediately, “I’d love to get married some day.”
”You would?”
”Of course I would,” Namgyu tells him, “but maybe we shouldn’t talk about it anymore because this is beginning to sound like a propo—”
Thanos silences him by closing the gap between their bodies, joining their lips together in a kiss Namgyu relaxes into immediately.
The purple-haired man whispers against his boyfriend’s lips, “let me get you a ring first. I want to do it properly.”
Namgyu smirks softly, and places the palm of his left hand on the back of his boyfriends’ head, keeping him close, ”you’ll get down on one knee for me?”
”For you, Namsu,” Thanos begins, “I would do anything.”
The younger watches him with as much adoration in his eyes as he feels within his heart, ”and I for you.”
”Terrible decision, really.”
Namgyu chuckles softly and connects their lips one last time before the pair of them go to bed.
Tomorrow afternoon, or rather this afternoon because now it’s past four, he and Thanos will sort out his art supplies. Thanos will, of course, listen very closely to where each thing goes and why.
Notes:
spoiler alert: they go with choi-jang
another spoiler alert: thangyu won the poll
Chapter 13: physical touch.
Notes:
the physical touch love language emphasises expressing and receiving affection through physical contact.
so i did a quick curious google and the 37th squid game took place in 2024 and not 2025 so the timeline is still right just everything happened a year earlier than originally written.
example: thangyu started dating in november 2024 and not november 2025
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The evening is a cool one, and the moon shines into the main bedroom of the house, the only bedroom in the building that, every night, almost always has at least one person sleeping in it.
The house is quiet save for the uneven breathing of a man in one room, and the scratching of a pencil against notebook pages in another. One man’s night is going significantly better than what the other’s is.
Thanos is writing, testing out different lyrics to a new song, and Namgyu is currently trapped in a not so pleasant dream. It’s the same nightmare he always has, the nightmare that includes a certain bathroom and a certain kitchen utensil.
He awakes startled, shooting up into a sitting position with a line of sweat at his hairline and a thudding in the back of his head. His shoulders feel incredibly tense, and within a second he’s removing the hoodie from the top half of his body, tossing it carelessly to the floor.
Namgyu’s chest feels oddly tight, and he blinks away the tears threatening to build within his eyes because the nightmare had been just that— a nightmare, right?
Thanos isn’t in bed with him, and suddenly he remembers the first time this nightmare had occurred, and just how badly he’d reacted to it. He’d been hysterical in a matter of seconds, the nightmare so real and Thanos being absent from the bed, to get a glass of water, only helped to convince his brain more that he’d died.
His cries had echoed off every wall of his flat, and he’d been so distraught that he never even registered the fact that he was in Thanos’ arms until he awoke in them the next morning. He’d cried himself to sleep in the rapper’s arms, exhausting his body to the point where it simply couldn’t function properly anymore and needed to shut down.
Thanos had stayed awake for the entirety of the night to ensure that Namgyu didn’t wake up again, and to also ensure that if he had awoken, he’d be right there to greet him.
A chill meets his bare skin but he doesn’t feel it, instead he stands up on slightly shaky legs, and makes a move towards the exit of the bedroom. The moment he’s in the corridor, and turns to his right, the relief that flows through him is like a warm blanket on a cold winters night.
The music room has a gentle glow coming from it, and so Namgyu shuffles down the corridor, placing his arms over the middle of his body as he does so.
His body feels oddly heavy, and he pauses, closing his eyes and willing silently for the image of a dying Thanos to leave his mind. His eyes reopen, and he gasps softly, the sound catching in the back of his throat and making his heart skip a beat within his chest.
Namgyu forces his body to move, and he gets to the music room to find Thanos exactly where deep down he knew he’d be. His shoulders lose some of that tension, and finally he can breathe properly.
Namgyu hovers in the doorway for a moment, uncertain on how to make his presence known, and then he settles on saying a small, “Su-bong?”
It’s quite sweet, really, how quickly the other abandons what he’s doing to turn around to him. Usually, when writing alone late at night, Thanos has earphones in or headphones on. Tonight is different, it seems.
”Namsu,” he greets him happily, and then he takes in the other’s appearance, and his face falls into a small frown, “everything okay?”
The shorter shakes his head, and his body trembles slightly, “not really.”
”What happened?”
”Nightmare,” he says, and Thanos’ eyes immediately hold concern because usually Namgyu’s nightmares take place in one room and are about one thing.
”Do you want me to come to bed?”
”No,” Namgyu shakes his head after a few moments consideration, “can I come and sit with you instead please?”
Thanos nods immediately, already pushing his chair away from the desk because he knows what ‘sitting with him’ actually means, “of course you can.”
The younger sends him a little, thankful smile and he moves further into the room. He sits himself on Thanos’ lap, still thankful the other chose a desk chair without arms, placing his hands on his partner’s shoulders for assistance in keeping himself steady. He’s facing forward so that their chests collide.
His knees are bent and they rest either side of Thanos’ hips, and Thanos looks up at him, wrapping both arms around the younger’s waist to keep him protectively close.
Thanos’ assumption regarding what the nightmare had been about is proven to be correct when Namgyu places his right hand onto the left side of the rapper’s chest.
”Still here, my Namsu.”
”I know,” Namgyu nods, voice soft, “just wanted to check.”
Thanos places a kiss to Namgyu’s left cheek, and his words are spoken through a promise, “not going anywhere any time soon.”
The shorter hums, and he uses his hands to guide Thanos’ head back to its original position in front of him. He places their foreheads together, and accepts the small kiss that’s pressed to his lips.
”I love you,” Thanos whispers against his partner’s mouth, the cool metal of Namgyu’s engagement ring against his skin causing a small shiver to run through him.
Namgyu kisses him once more, ”I love you too.”
They’re quiet for a moment, and when Namgyu is content, and that dark cloud within his brain trying to convince him that actually he’s making all of this up is beginning to clear up, his shoulders lose their tension and he melts into the other man with complete ease.
He disconnects their foreheads, and begins using his thumbs to caress along the other’s cheekbones, ”you can write again if you want.”
”You sure?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, moving his right hand down to Thanos’ shoulder and letting his own left arm fall between their bodies. He leans forward to place the side of his forehead onto the back of the chair Thanos is sitting on.
Thanos uses his now free arm, the right one that’s no longer around his fiancés waist, to hold onto his desk so that he can drag the chair forward. Namgyu’s back meets the desk.
”That okay?”
A small, slightly sleeping hum of content.
The rapper turns his head to the right, and he presses a kiss to the tip of Namgyu’s nose, earning a soft chuckle of amusement from the other man in response. Thanos brings his notebook to the right of his desk so that he can begin to write again.
”What’s the song about?”
”Take a wild guess.”
”Me?”
”Naturally.”
Namgyu places a small kiss to Thanos’ cheek, and then places his head back to the back of the chair.
”Did you want to talk about the nightmare?”
”No, thank you,” Namgyu shakes his head, “not right now, anyway.”
”Okay,” Thanos nods, “but I’m here if you want to, alright?”
”I know,” the younger says, “thank you.”
The older continues to write, and Namgyu sits contently with him. His right hand moves downward to rest over Thanos’ heartbeat once more, the dull thumping helping to soothe the leftover worries the nightmare had given him.
His eyes close and his breathing begins to even out, and he chooses to instead think about the fact that they’ve had the opportunity to be together for six years now, and they’ve still got so much more time left to be together.
They’ve gone from strangers, to friends, to lovers, and now they’re still lovers but they’re engaged and they have promised each other forever in a way that’s evident through the ring on Namgyu’s left hand.
”You can go to sleep, Namsu,” Thanos tells him, “I’ll just carry you to bed.”
Namgyu hums, already feel consciousness slip away, “you sure?”
”Of course,” he says, “don’t I always?”
“You don’t carry me to bed that often.”
“In the last seven days, I’ve done it like four times.”
”False.”
”Nope.”
”You must be imagining things.”
Thanos rolls his eyes, the action not intended to be cruel, and then he kisses his fiancé’s forehead. “Bed time.”
Namgyu hums, and Thanos’ voice is muffled behind the sleep clouding his mind. Within seconds he’s asleep, and Thanos watches him for a moment to make sure he remains that way.
Suddenly he doesn’t wish to write anymore, so he sits with his own thoughts for a while, caressing the side of Namgyu’s face with his right hand, and then places his hands beneath Namgyu’s thighs in order to keep him close as he stands up. Namgyu’s arms secure themselves around his neck, even in an unconscious state he knows what’s happening.
Thanos carries him carefully to bed, and he lays him down on their mattress the exact same way. He heads back to the music room to turn the lamp off, and when he returns back to his bed, Namgyu is sitting up.
”Still here.”
”I know,” Namgyu says, and he pats the spot beside him, “wanna cuddle please.”
Thanos nods, and he lays down on his back and in an instant, Namgyu is glued to his side. The shorter places his head onto the right side of Thanos’ chest, and his right hand over Thanos’ heartbeat, and of course the purple-haired man allows him to do so.
Namgyu’s arms are the homes of various tattoos, and so Thanos traces the few he has on his right arm in a slow movement that usually helps lull the other to sleep. Most of the permanent ink is on the younger man’s left arm.
”It was the same one.”
Thanos hums, knowing he’s referring to what the nightmare had been about.
”I don’t like it when I have that one.”
”I know,” Thanos whispers softly, “I don’t like it when you have that one either.”
Namgyu hums, and he curls his fingertips into the fabric of Thanos’ t-shirt, “your heart is steady.”
”It is?”
”Yeah,” Namgyu nods, “like— like you’re relaxed.”
”I am relaxed,” Thanos tells him, “I always am with you.”
The shorter hums once more, and he tilts his head upward and moves his body that way too so that he can press a kiss to the bottom of the older’s jaw.
Namgyu moves his head back to its original position, and Thanos’ tattooed hand, the right one, makes its way to Namgyu’s right cheek so that he can caress the side of his lover’s face the way he had done earlier.
Namgyu chuckles softly, “you’re tickling me.”
Thanos’ smile is fond, “which part?”
”On my arm.”
”Do you want me to stop?”
”Yes please.”
So he stops the tracing of his partner’s tattoos, and lets his left hand fall to the mattress, resting beside his body.
”Thank you.”
”Of course,” Thanos responds, and then he asks, “do you want to sleep now?”
”I think so.”
“Do you want me to s—”
Namgyu nods, “yes please.”
Thanos’ singing talent in general is amazing. Obviously, his ability to rap at the speed and quality in which he does is impressive, but he can actually sing too.
His voice is soft, and it sounds honey sweet. It sounds this way especially when singing the songs that are written about Namgyu, which are most, if not all, of the slower songs he’s released.
Namgyu’s mind melts into a content relaxation when Thanos begins to sing to him, and his eyes close in an instant. His breathing evens out, and Thanos’ caressing of the right side of the shorter’s face slows slightly.
He continues to sing, and by the end of the song, Namgyu’s shoulders have evened out and he’s fast asleep. His chest is rising and falling at a steady pace, and the expression on his face is completely and utterly relaxed.
Thanos stays awake for an additional twenty or so minutes to make sure that Namgyu remains happy in his sleep, and then he closes his eyes and drifts off too.
Notes:
‘𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴, 𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩, 𝘢 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘺
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘴 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘳
𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘵
𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘵’
- ‘𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦’ 𝘣𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰 𝘥𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘥
Pages Navigation
c (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Aug 2025 12:00AM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Aug 2025 07:11AM UTC
Comment Actions
n4chuv1 on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Aug 2025 12:11AM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Aug 2025 07:11AM UTC
Comment Actions
bootlegticcitoby on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Aug 2025 11:25PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 1 Mon 11 Aug 2025 11:48PM UTC
Comment Actions
brokensmilegirl98 on Chapter 1 Mon 25 Aug 2025 01:40AM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 1 Mon 25 Aug 2025 06:59PM UTC
Comment Actions
sasha_wills65 on Chapter 1 Wed 10 Sep 2025 12:45AM UTC
Comment Actions
emraulp on Chapter 2 Tue 12 Aug 2025 05:15PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 2 Wed 13 Aug 2025 08:56AM UTC
Comment Actions
n4chuv1 on Chapter 2 Tue 12 Aug 2025 05:21PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 2 Wed 13 Aug 2025 12:29PM UTC
Comment Actions
PR1NCE3SS on Chapter 2 Tue 12 Aug 2025 06:50PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 2 Wed 13 Aug 2025 02:11PM UTC
Comment Actions
blouiekisses on Chapter 3 Wed 20 Aug 2025 02:48AM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 3 Wed 20 Aug 2025 09:46AM UTC
Comment Actions
sparklyglitter (Guest) on Chapter 3 Tue 26 Aug 2025 08:12PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 3 Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:00AM UTC
Comment Actions
n4chuv1 on Chapter 4 Sat 16 Aug 2025 10:30PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 4 Sun 17 Aug 2025 09:14AM UTC
Comment Actions
Galie_01 on Chapter 4 Mon 08 Sep 2025 11:25PM UTC
Comment Actions
AdaWongs_Bestgirl on Chapter 5 Tue 19 Aug 2025 03:41AM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 5 Tue 19 Aug 2025 03:03PM UTC
Comment Actions
n4chuv1 on Chapter 5 Tue 19 Aug 2025 10:09AM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 5 Tue 19 Aug 2025 03:02PM UTC
Comment Actions
KangMinaLover on Chapter 5 Wed 20 Aug 2025 04:49AM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 5 Wed 20 Aug 2025 09:47AM UTC
Comment Actions
Sweeie (Guest) on Chapter 5 Fri 22 Aug 2025 08:09PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 5 Fri 22 Aug 2025 09:16PM UTC
Comment Actions
Guest (Guest) on Chapter 6 Sun 24 Aug 2025 10:24PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 6 Mon 25 Aug 2025 06:57PM UTC
Comment Actions
n4chuv1 on Chapter 6 Sun 24 Aug 2025 11:59PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 6 Mon 25 Aug 2025 06:58PM UTC
Comment Actions
bootlegticcitoby on Chapter 6 Mon 25 Aug 2025 11:15AM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 6 Mon 25 Aug 2025 06:58PM UTC
Comment Actions
n4chuv1 on Chapter 7 Thu 28 Aug 2025 10:52PM UTC
Comment Actions
bowiesoddity on Chapter 7 Fri 29 Aug 2025 01:24PM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation