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What most people didn’t know about Bucky Barnes was that he was, as Steve sometimes called him, a loveable idiot. When he cared about someone, he cared hard, strong, to the ends of the earth.
He didn’t think he’d feel like that ever again, after Steve left. But Sam had got there.
And now, so had Yelena.
She didn’t know it, though. Yes, they talked, they talked a lot. Even though she was the one who was leading the team, Bucky was there, behind closed doors, helping her.
The team had been going on for 18 months when Bucky found himself on the terrace of the tower, in the middle of the night, having beers with Yelena as she was ranting about their most recent mission and about how Walker screwed it up, brainstorming solutions to assure it wouldn’t happen again.
It was at that exact moment when Bucky realized just how much he cared for the woman next to him. It didn’t come as a shock, more like… a relief.
And that was new to Bucky.
Still, in the past years of his new life, he had learned to embrace new experiences.
⬢
Which is why, about a week later, he was the only one to realize that Yelena was going to be having some hard days. Bucky knew Natasha’s birthday was coming up, and he could already see Yelena becoming… sadder. Her instinct was to isolate herself from the team, from him, but Bucky had another idea.
‘Do you have any plans tomorrow?’
‘Rot in bed.’, came her quick answer. Only after she turned to look at Bucky, and she raised an eyebrow at the way he was looking at her. ‘Maybe I could be persuaded differently.’
Bucky chuckled. ‘There’s a diner in Brooklyn. It’s been there since I was little, but now I can actually afford to go there.’
Yelena tilted her head.
‘And’, he went on, ‘three blocks down there’s a breakfast cafe that sells chocolate croissants as big as my head.’
She tilted her head to the other side.
Bucky sighed, only acting annoyed. ‘Wanna make a day out of it? Breakfast, lunch, a walk in between?’
‘Bucky Barnes’, she smiled, ‘are you asking me out on a date?’
‘No.’, he said evenly. ‘I’m asking a friend out for a vacation day.’
‘A friend’, Yelena frowned. ‘I think I like that.’
Bucky smiled, he couldn’t help himself. ‘Wheels up tomorrow at 8.’
‘9’, Yelena glared.
‘Fine, 9. But you better wear walking shoes.’
‘How you made that sound as a threat, I do not understand.’
Bucky left the room laughing.
⬢
She barely had her eyes opened, but Yelena was ready to leave by 9. She was wearing a pair of black jeans shorts, and a white shirt. He could see the black bra she had underneath, because nobody should ever forget that she was a dangerous woman. But Bucky didn’t mention it, instead he grinned at the very comfortable looking sneakers she was wearing.
Yelena woke up a little when she realized they were going to take Bucky’s bike.
‘I thought you said we were going on a walk.’
‘We are, once we get to Brooklyn.’, he nodded.
‘We could have taken the subway.’
‘This way’s faster. And more fun.’
‘Fair.’, Yelena nodded, and got up on the bike, not making it awkward, even as she pressed herself to his back and wrapped her arms around his waist.
⬢
They didn’t speak on the way, and Bucky would have thought that Yelena had fallen asleep if it weren’t for the way she gently tapped her fingers against his stomach at every stop sign.
After he parked the bike, Yelena admitted that she was starving.
So their first stop was the breakfast cafe, where they managed to find a table outside. They both ordered a big breakfast with a lot of coffee, croissants afterwards.
They were silent as they ate, but the food was delicious, and the coffee was great. And at the end of it, Yelena had chocolate all over her chin and a pleased spark in her eyes.
‘Now what?’, she asked. ‘What’s the plan for the day?’
Bucky snorted. ‘I don’t exactly have a plan, just a vague idea.’
‘I’ll take it.’, she nodded. ‘What is the vague idea?’
‘Prospect Park. Walk. Maybe the zoo? Or Botanical Garden? Or both? What do you think?’
She just blinked at him for a few moments. ‘I like animals more than flowers.’
‘Zoo it is.’, he agreed quickly.
He paid for their breakfast, earning an eyebrow raise from Yelena. But she didn’t ask, and he didn’t say anything.
⬢
Brooklyn was crowded, being a work day and all. They walked side by side, bumping elbows in order to avoid stumbling into people. They didn’t talk, but Bucky didn’t feel awkward.
When they got to the zoo, Yelena got evidently excited, which made him chuckle. He let her take charge, just followed her around the zoo for the next couple of hours.
Yelena stopped and looked at every animal, telling him random facts about each and every one of them. She talked most about the giraffes, though, not stopping even if Bucky was grinning at her.
‘So, about lunch.’, he said after.
‘I’m not hungry’, she shrugged. ‘Big breakfast.’
Bucky pointed to a nearby restaurant. ‘How about coffee and a snack, then?’
She didn’t answer, but grabbed his arm and didn’t let go until they were seated.
Bucky ate a plate of cheesy fries, Yelena ate a banana split with extra ice cream. They lingered, drawing out the last sips of their coffees.
‘So, Bucky Barnes.’, she leveled him with a look. ‘By the end of today, are you going to tell me what possessed you to do this with me?’
He snorted. ‘Sure, by the end of the day. But now…’, he relaxed in his seat. ‘I have to admit I don’t remember the last time I ever had a day like this.’
Yelena also relaxed. ‘I was a child, living a lie with Alexei and Melina. Playing in the garden with Natasha.’
There was a flash of pain in her eyes, but Bucky thought he was the only one who could see it.
‘I was in high school’, Bucky spoke slowly, ‘skipping school with Steve to go to Coney Island. Coming back home at the end of the day and playing dolls with Rebecca.’
‘Rebecca?’
‘My sister. One of them, I had tree. I…’, he flinched. ‘She was the oldest, and the only one I remember now. She was still alive when I… woke up.’
‘Did you go and see her?’
Bucky shook his head. ‘By the time I got my brain sorted, she had died. I went to her grave.’
She didn’t offer any pleasantries, for which Bucky was grateful.
‘So you were the big brother?’, Yelena smiled. ‘That actually explains a lot about you.’
‘So I hear.’, he smirked. ‘You being the little sister also explains some things about you.’
Yelena smiled, but it was gone quickly.
‘I know we joke about being a family, but it sometimes feels like that.’
‘Yeah, it does.’
‘But it is… different… from the real deal.’
‘Yeah.’, Bucky nodded. ‘It’s good, but it’ll take a long time till it’ll be as good.’
‘Do you think we’ll get there?’, Yelena looked intently at him.
He shrugged. ‘What do I know? I just know I’m willing to work to make it happen.’
‘I am grateful for that.’, she eventually smiled. ‘And I am willing to do the same, in case it wasn’t obvious.’
‘Oh, it was.’, he grinned.
She rolled her eyes. ‘Finish your coffee, we have more animals to see.’
⬢
At the exit of the zoo, there was a gift shop. They looked around for awhile, but Yelena didn’t get anything.
Bucky did, he got a keychain with a small plush giraffe. Her eyes lit up when he gave it to her, but even as Yelena took it and clipped it to her jeans, he could tell that she was feeling something.
But she didn’t say anything, and he didn’t either. Instead, he grinned and asked what she was going to name him.
‘Buchanan, I think.’
‘No’, he groaned. ‘That’s a horrible name.’
‘James, then?’
‘Who the hell names a giraffe James?’
‘Brooklyn, then’, she looked at him with a challenge in her eyes.
‘That’s okay.’, he didn’t take her up on the challenge. ‘You’re welcome, by the way.’
‘Am I?’, she said it teasingly.
Bucky rolled his eyes. ‘Come on, let’s see how much the park has changed in the last 80 years.’
She laughed, this time holding on to his bent arm.
⬢
They started talking about the team, then. Nothing too official, nothing that would be classified like work. They gossiped, basically, and after they were done with the team, Yelena asked if he knew Clint Barton, and that opened up a whole new can of worms.
Bucky did most of the talking while they walked in the park, but it made her laugh, at times, which was good.
Then, Yelena told him her story about Clint Barton, about Kate Bishop and a helluva Christmas in New York. He could tell she regretted it, could tell that it all came from a place of pain and that she had moved past the moment, leaving only regret it happened.
‘Steve said he has a farm in the middle of nowhere. We could call him, visit him sometime.’
‘That would be very weird.’, Yelena frowned.
‘Yeah, but Natasha cared for you both. It wouldn’t be that weird. Plus’, he grinned, ‘we can offer to babysit.’
‘Me? With children?’, she pulled a face.
‘Well, okay. Me, with children. I do alright with children. You can just supervise.’
It took a moment, but Yelena laughed. She grabbed his arm, again, pushing their sides together.
‘I’m not hungry yet, but I'm starting to.’
‘You good with diner food?’
‘Traditional American experience.’, she nodded. ‘Normal tourist activity. Haven’t done much of that since I came to New York.’
‘So this was a good idea, is what you’re saying.’
Yelena rolled her eyes, ignoring his grin as she pushed him away. Still, she grabbed his arm again, and Bucky led them to the diner.
⬢
The diner was crowded, but the staff were quick to clear the table they reserved for themselves and make room for Bucky and Yelena.
It surprised her, but Bucky pointed to a wall of pictures, the biggest one of them being of a very young Steve and himself, grinning as they were mopping up the floor of the diner.
‘We could never afford to come here.’, he told her. ‘But sometimes, they let us do chores and gave us milkshakes afterwards. The owners aren’t around anymore, but their grandkids are. And let me tell you, they’re still great milkshakes.’
‘Sold.’, she grinned, and ordered two milkshakes and a burger.
⬢
For some reason, Yelena was quick to leave the diner. Still, she didn’t want to go back to the tower, she wanted to walk around some more.
So Bucky took her on a certain street, which had a great view of the Brooklyn Bridge. There was a tiny bar there, with two stools and a table outside.
‘I feel like a gin and tonic.’, she eyed the place.
‘Never tried that.’, Bucky admitted, and that was all it took.
Yelena went inside and ordered, coming out with two tall glasses of gin and tonic, and two bottles of water under one arm.
They were silent for a while, sipping on their drinks. It was good, but Bucky thought he’d go for a beer next time.
‘So, Bucky Barnes. At the end of the day, why did we do this?’
He didn’t look at her, looked at the bridge instead.
‘At the end of the day, I knew today was going to be bad for you. So I wanted to make it a little less bad.’
She didn’t say anything, so he turned to look at her. ‘Did I manage to do that?’
‘Yes.’, Yelena said after a moment. ‘Yes, yes you did. Thank you.’
He smiled, shrugged and took a sip of his drink.
‘Do you think Clint would actually allow us to come to the farm?’
‘I don’t know.’, Bucky admitted. ‘I don’t actually know him very well. But if not, maybe we could invite him over here, if you want.’
‘I think I’d like that, yes.’, Yelena nodded, but she frowned after. ‘I don’t know why, though. I mean… Three years ago I would have never… Hell, a year ago I would have never wanted that.’
Bucky smiled, a little self deprecating. ‘One of my therapists kept telling me that I’m allowed to change. Not that I should, not that I would, but that nothing and nobody is stopping me from changing.’
‘And did you?’
He snorted. ‘Doll, you don’t know the half of it. No, really’, he grew serious, ‘this Bucky that you’re having a drink with, he’s different than the Winter Soldier, he’s different from the man who fought alongside Sam, he’s a little bit like the Bucky who used to roam the streets of Brooklyn 80 years ago, but he’s still different.’
‘Doesn’t that bother you?’
‘No.’, Bucky shook his head. ‘I kinda like this Bucky, even if it surprises me at times.’
She still didn’t look convinced.
‘Change is human.’, Bucky said with a frown. ‘Us changing is a human trait.’
‘It’s been a very long while since I’ve felt human.’, Yelena admitted. ‘Lately, though… More and more. And I don’t know what to do with it.’
‘Embrace it?’, Bucky shrugged. ‘Analyze it, if you wish. Accept it, though. I think that’s the healthiest thing to do.’
Yelena took a deep breath and a long sip of gin, before leveling him with a look. ‘So I should accept the fact that I just spent a lovely day with you, and that you’re the sole reason today was a good day, not a bad one?’
Bucky felt himself blushing, but he didn’t back down.
‘And you should accept that while it’s different from your sister, I will always be willing to do this again.’
‘Why?’
He shrugged, spoke with difficulty, but said it anyway, because he thought she needed to hear it.
‘I like you. I care about you.’
Yelena’s eyes grew wide, her only tale.
Bucky snorted. ‘Shocking, I know. But true.’
‘Is that what this is?’, she breathed out, tapping her chest. ‘Caring for a stranger?’
‘Possibly.’, he smiled gently. ‘Hopefully.’
‘Well, then.’, she said after a few moments, relaxing in her seat. ‘In that case, we should go to the MoMA next.’
‘Okay.’, he was quick to agree. ‘Deal.’
Yelena smiled, a very particular smile. Fond, a little satisfied, a bit mischievous. It flustered Bucky a little, so to defuse the moment, he raised his glass.
‘Bros?’
‘No.’, she shook her head, even as she clinked their glasses together. ‘Friends.’
‘Friends.’, he agreed easily, feeling like he had accomplished something important that day.
He also felt something new in his chest, but Bucky ignored it.
⬢
After they got to the tower, he wordlessly walked her to her room.
Yelena stopped in front of it, turned to look at him.
‘Thank you for today. Next time, I’ll make the plan.’ she tilted her head, smiling. ‘Well, a vague idea.’
Bucky laughed. ‘Sounds good, Yelena. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
He moved to leave, but she grabbed his hand, effectively stopping him. She kissed his cheek, short and barely there, before releasing his hand.
Bucky left, tried his damn hardest to not turn around.
‘Hey, Bucky?’, she said and he was quick to turn around.
‘I just want you to know that if this were a date, it would have been the best I ever went on.’
It took a few moments, but Bucky did get over the small shock. He was blushing properly, but it didn’t stop him from smirking teasingly at her.
‘You went on a lot of those, Belova?’
‘No. Have you?’
He shrugged. ‘In another life.’
‘Well’, she smiled, ‘I hear this Bucky is in some ways similar to that Bucky. It would be a shame to… waste it.’
He started walking backwards towards the elevator.
‘We’ll see. For now, this Bucky’s still getting used to having friends.’
‘I know’, she nodded. ‘I’m just saying, a thought for the future.’
Yelena winked and went inside of the room, and Bucky felt his chest was shaking, somehow. It was a good feeling, though.
⬢
Six months later, Bucky gets a brutal blow to the head during a mission.
He wakes up in the tower’s infirmary, with Yelena sleeping in bed next to him. His heart instantly picks up, and so do the beeping of the machines he’s tied up to. It wakes her up, and she smiles at him.
‘You’ll be fine, there was swelling in your brain so they kept you in a slight coma until it receded.’
Bucky blinked. ‘Any permanent damage?’
‘Not permanent, but you’ve been awake for 5 times before, and you never remembered.’
‘Short term memory loss.’, he frowned. ‘That’s not ideal.’
Yelena hummed. ‘Do you remember the last time you woke up?’
It took a few moments, but he nodded. ‘Walker was here, he called me a dumbass and the doctor said I had a thick brain.’
‘Good.’, she chuckled. ‘You’ll be fine.’
Taking a bit more stock of himself, Bucky realized that his metal arm was off, and that his flesh one was wrapped around Yelena.
‘This is new.’, he said with some hesitation, squeezing her body a little. ‘Right?’
‘Yes.’, she narrowed her eyes on him. ‘But the novelty of it will wear off in time, I imagine.’
He blinked for a while. ‘And that means what, exactly?’
Yelena snorted, but she also kissed him. Nice and sweet, gentle and slow. It still made the monitor beep faster, and it left him completely out of breath.
‘Are you ready to start dating?’, Yelena smiled softly.
‘No.’, his response was immediate. ‘I’m just ready to start dating you.’
‘Good. In that case’, her loving look turned to a murderous one, ‘you’re not allowed to do this again, Bucky Barnes. You scared the shit out of me!’
He couldn’t help it, he laughed loudly, even as Yelena kept yelling at him. She stopped, eventually, and Bucky fell asleep soon after, with her by his side, making no move to leave.