Chapter Text
Tara blinked as she watched her own body fall away from her. She was confused for a moment, but as she watched Willow begin to panic and cry out to her in desperation, realization set in.
“I'm dead.” She whispered aloud somewhere between acceptance and disappointment.
“Yeah, but at least it was quick.” A female voice noted from behind her.
Tearing her eyes from Willow cradling her now still body, Tara turned to find two people standing there.
One was a beautiful ethereal woman dressed in flowing white robes and the other was a young teen boy dressed in jeans and a band label T-shirt. He honestly looked kind of familiar but she couldn't quite place where from.
“Who are you?” Tara managed to ask, feeling surprisingly calm given the situation.
“I'm Yenniway, servant of Osiris. I’m here to guide your soul to the afterlife.” The woman replied, her smile kind and soothing.
“And him?” Tara asked, nodding to the boy who was clearly trying to look anywhere but at her.
“Oh, don't mind him. He's what we call a tag-along. Been haunting you for a few years.” Yenniway replied with a wave of her hand. Tara blinked at that reply and looked at the teenager who suddenly appeared even more embarrassed than he did a moment before. “Now that you've died, he's finally ready to move on as well. Makes my job easier, except that you're bound for Summerland and he is off to Heaven.”
“You said he was haunting me?” Tara asked, more surprised about that than the fact she was dead, which… weird.
“Oh yes.” Yenniway said, her tone admonishing as she shot him a glance. “Sometimes, when people die they cling to the last person who was kind to them in a vain attempt to hold onto this life.”
“I had no idea… I didn't feel like I was being haunted…” Tara said, still trying to place where she knew the boy from as she almost absently glanced over her shoulder toward the sound of Willow sobbing. She found it strange how disconnected she felt from what was happening behind her.
“Oh, you wouldn't. It happens way more often than you think and it's rarely malevolent or harmful. Although most tag-alongs move on after a couple weeks when they grow bored of the lives they are watching. But, sometimes…” The woman looked at the boy who blushed. “They can get a little crush and stay longer.”
“Oh.” Tara said, glancing back at the boy, not sure if she should be flattered or weirded out. Ultimately, she decided to just focus on the matter at hand. “So, can I ask a question?” At the woman's nod she continued. “Why am I feeling so calm? I mean, shouldn't I be freaking out or be distraught? After all, the love of my life is breaking down over my death and I don't feel… well… anything about it.”
“I'll admit, you're one of the most grounded souls I've ever had to collect. But a person's reaction to their own death usually depends on how much they understood that death was not the end.”
Tara nodded, fully understanding now. Buffy’s return from Heaven had given her an absolute proof of what was to come next. Still…
“Do you mind if I take a moment to say goodbye?”
“By all means.” Yenniway replied with a smile and then looped an arm with the boy beside her as she added, “After waiting three years for Mikey here, what's another few minutes?”
“Thank you.” Tara said and then turned to kneel beside Willow. “Willow. I'm so sorry you have to go through this pain… but know that I love you, and that I'll be waiting for you. There is so much I still wanted to-”
Her words dropped off as Willow suddenly looked up, her eyes glowing red, filled with both anger and dark magic.
“Willow?” Tara asked in surprise as her lover locked those angry eyes with hers, clearly able to see her. She knew Willow was powerful, but this…
“Uh. This isn't good.” Yenniway said, suddenly sounding worried. “Come Tara, we need to go.”
Tara stood and began to move away but a wave of darkness flowed over her and she faltered in her step. She turned back to find Willow looking directly at Yenniway now.
“No.” Willow said, her voice filled with energy, “By Osiris. I command you, bring her back!”
“I don't have that power, child.” Yenniway replied, actually sounding stricken and afraid. “I-I am sorry,” The woman paused and swallowed. A strange thing to see a reaper—or whatever she was—do. “I can not do as you request.”
“Hear me, keeper of darkness.” Willow demanded in a broken voice filled with both sadness and defiance, her focus moving away from Yenniway and toward the ceiling.
“Wait. Don't!” Yenniway cried out, absolutely terrified now. Then the woman's eyes widened even further and she wilted, pulling Mikey behind her. “Oh no… He… he heard the call of her power… he's coming…”
Tara’s eyes widened as she felt a presence, a powerful one, and she looked up to find the god Osiris appearing in a thick cloud above them.
“Witch! How dare you invoke Osiris in this task?” He angrily spat.
“Please, please bring her back!” Willow both pleaded and demanded.
“You may not violate the laws of natural passing-” Osiris explained.
“How? How is this natural?” Willow asked, and Tara gasped at the growing darkness inside her lover's soul. At this rate, she knew well that Willow would lose herself to it completely.
“Willow, sweetie. You need to let me go, we will see each other again.” Tara tried, hoping to keep her soulmate from falling any further, but she wasn't sure Willow heard her because the redhead's focus remained on Osiris.
“It is a human death, by human means.” The Lord of the afterlife replied.
“But I’ve—” Willow began.
“You raised one killed by mystical forces.” Osiris declared and Tara understood they were talking about Buffy's resurrection. His eyes then moved to Tara and she wilted under the power of his gaze. “ This is not the same, she is taken by natural order. It is done.”
“No. There has to be a way!” Willow exclaimed in refusal, the darkness growing even more, and Tara felt anguish now, knowing that her beautiful Willow was already lost.
“It is done!” Osiris yelled, clearly losing his patience.
“No!” Willow screamed, a sudden burst of dark power expanding outward from the redhead as she did so. Tara—feeling a wave of cold rage rush over her—was thrown backwards into Yenniway and Mikey. As they all collided, a flash of light filled Tara's vision, followed by an image of Willow with black hair and inky eyes.
Before she could really grasp what she had seen, everything went dark and she heard someone gasp in a deep breath of air, a shrill beeping beginning immediately after.
“His heart is beating!” Someone yelled out in surprise.
Confused once more, Tara opened her eyes and found that she was somewhere else entirely, now laying on the floor of what appeared to be a surgical room.
Hoping to discover what had happened, she stood up and looked around, her eyes falling on the surgical table and its occupant.
“Mikey?” She asked aloud. From how all the doctors and nurses were reacting, he was clearly alive again, but how could that be? Yenniway had said he died three years before. Which meant his body should have been long buried.
Tara startled as someone moved through her as if she wasn't there. Clearly she herself was still a spirit. But what had happened? And where was Yenniway? What had Willow done?
If she was standing at the deathbed of Mikey, a boy who died three years before, then that meant she had somehow gone back in time to the moment of his death.
Although, it seemed that he wasn't dead anymore.
Tara suddenly realized that Willow must have tried to force life back into her dead lover with her own growing power, and it had simply struck the wrong target.
She shook her head in sadness. There was a good chance—if that show of power was any indication—her lover was going to be consumed by her magic. Tara knew well—from her mother's teachings—that a Wiccan who gave in to the power like that became someone else entirely, much like when a demon took over the body of the recently deceased to become a vampire. Which explained the image of an evil looking Willow. Desire and anger ruled the life of the Willow she had glimpsed, and Tara felt guilty at being the reason. Which honestly was the most painful part of this… because it was Willow's love for her that had been the catalyst. How could something so beautiful turn so dark?
And yet, she supposed it already had happened once before. Willow had attempted to control their relationship through magic and manipulation, so it sadly wasn’t such a stretch that Willow would turn to dark magic to try and prevent Tara's very death, especially after having succeeded in doing so by resurrecting Buffy. Perhaps this kind of darkness was simply part of Willow's nature now? Tara had hoped that the last couple months apart from both her and magic would have been enough to put Willow on the right path, but clearly the magic was too far engrained in her everyday life and the temptations had still been far too close.
Tara realized—far too late now—that she never should have gone back to her ex-girlfriend. Yes, it was clear now more than ever that Willow had become far too reliant on magic fixing her problems and would always have too little respect for the power because of it.
If only Tara had known from the very beginning to focus on helping Willow with her control and respect for the power instead of passively enabling her, then things might have been different.
Thinking back to when they had first met, Willow had been so eager and open to learn, but after everything that had happened with Adam, Glory, and even Buffy’s resurrection… Willow had grown so dependent and desperate in her magic use that teaching her any kind of restraint had become impossible.
And with the amount of power her lover had learned to wield… enough to possibly change the past…
Tara looked up at the doctors who were now scratching their heads at Mikey's sudden reversal of fate. Apparently he was rapidly healing and would be perfectly healthy soon.
Which meant things had indeed changed. Willow had changed the past… accidentally, but it had happened. Mikey would live this time around.
Perhaps this meant that—because she was here—Tara could change things too? She might only be a soul outside a body, but perhaps she could find someone who could see or hear her and have that person send a message to her younger self, convincing her to approach things with Willow more cautiously. Maybe she could even suggest she postpone… or even avoid falling in love with the redhead at all. It would be a difficult sacrifice to make to save the woman she loved from that dark future she had just witnessed, but Tara would be willing to make it.
She had always loved Willow enough to let her go so she could find her happiness, just like she had almost done when Oz had returned. This was no different.
And yet her heart still clenched at the thought. Willow had been such a large part of her own happiness. Not to mention that Buffy, Dawn, Xander, Giles, Anya, and in some ways even Spike… all of them had given her hope and comfort in a life that had little of both. Tara couldn’t imagine them not ever being a part of her life, after all, they had saved her from her father and brother and then given her a real family.
This meant that having her younger self avoid the Scoobies altogether would not be an option she would accept lying down. Hell, she couldn't imagine Willow not being a part of her life in some way either, even if it was just as a friend. But loving her… being with her… that could only be allowed to happen if Willow learned to respect her power. Maybe not even then.
Perhaps if Willow could learn earlier to properly understand the limits of her power and the consequences of turning to magic for everything, then Buffy might not be pulled from heaven either. The Slayer could remain in peace, as she so clearly deserved and desired. If, of course, Buffy still ended up dying to begin with.
Tara frowned at that thought. Maybe she shouldn't change anything… after all, she knew that by changing one thing, many many others could also change, but there was no way to know what exactly would happen, or if it would be better or worse in the end.
Tara frowned even more deeply as she considered that changing the past seemed far too much like Willow erasing her memories to control the outcome for her liking, and yet Tara still couldn't help but feel that something had to be done.
Still wrestling with her decision of whether to change the future or not—and remaining unsure how she might even accomplish such a task if she decided to try—Tara strode toward the double doors that led out of the surgical room.