dear soulmate

by ljheartstopper

Summary:

when nick pours his heart out in the comments of his favourite fanfic, he’s pleasantly surprised when the author writes him back

Notes:

• For 0011_1100.

Chapter 1: and for eternity i’d lay in bed

Notes:

oh hello! welcome to my short little smut fic that i just had to write after seeing this tweet a couple of months ago. please note that the comments nick leaves are heavily inspired by it and credit should go that commenter and fic writer for this fic existing at all!

biggest thank you to mar and lydia for betaing this chapter for me, this fic wouldn’t be ready to share without their notes and encouragement 🩷

also i had to choose a fandom for the premise of this fic to work at all, and i chose the 911 fandom and the buddie ship because i am a tiny bit familiar with it. but please know you don’t need to have watched 911 or have read buddie fic to understand what’s happening in this story ☺️

Nick wouldn’t have ever gotten into this mess if he hadn’t listened to one of his oldest friends, Darcy Olsson.

“I’m so serious Nick, you would love this show, you’ve got to give it a shot!” Darcy exclaims when they and Tara crash at Nick’s the Friday evening after he just managed to survive the last week of classes for the term.

Nick loves being a primary school teacher, but he loves having his summer holiday even more. While so many of the rest of his friends have to work their jobs all year round, Nick now has the next six weeks off to do whatever he fancies. He knows some of that time will be spent visiting his mum back home in Kent, and of course the annual Menorca holiday with Aunt Diane and the rest of his family, but other than those small commitments the next several weeks of his life are wide open with possibilities.

“Maybe I will,” Nick replies with a shrug, taking another sip of beer. “I’ve got the time for it now.”

Darcy clicks on the icon on the TV that takes them to the main page for the show. When they and Tara had shown up unprompted on Nick’s doorstep with pizza boxes, a six pack, and a bottle of red, he had happily let them in. It was his first year of teaching after all, he shouldn’t have been surprised when his two best friends wanted to celebrate the accomplishment of completing the year unscathed with him. Once Nick had grabbed everyone plates (and a wine glass for Darcy, who hated the way beer tasted), the three of them had settled in on his sofa and Darcy—without hesitation—began scrolling through various streaming services seeking out the perfect film to put on in the background while they ate and caught up on each other’s lives.

“Darcy, we don’t need him to watch it right now,” Tara scolds as she snags the remote out of her partner’s hand. “We came here to talk to Nick about his life, not force him to watch a tv show that you’re obsessed with.”

Darcy tuts and points a pouted lip at Tara. “Oh, fine! Rob our poor bisexual friend the experience of watching hot firefighters and Angela Bassett fight fires and crime and bee-nados, then.”

Nick nearly chokes on his beer. “What show are you trying to get me to watch, again?”

Tara laughs. “It’s an American show called 9-1-1, Darcy has been forcing me to watch it every night with them over the last several weeks. I know it sounds completely ridiculous but it’s actually pretty good.”

“Not to mention the amazing queer representation,” Darcy says with a shimmy of their shoulders. “I won’t spoil a thing for you, but I really think you’d like it.”

Nick takes the remote back from Tara when she passes it over to him and he nods. “I’ll add it to my list,” he promises, before switching over to a film the three of them have watched together dozens of times. “Now, tell me, how have you two been?”

It’s not until a week after Tara and Darcy’s impromptu visit that Nick finds himself home alone, looking for something to watch with his dinner, that he remembers Darcy’s excited recommendation. He figures, why not, and turns the show on as he digs into his food.

By the end of Nick’s summer holiday, he’s seen every single episode of 9-1-1 twice, has watched extensive interviews with all of the cast members, and has read several threads on Reddit and Twitter theorizing upcoming plots for the next season. He, like Darcy, is officially obsessed.

It’s his last Saturday before he officially goes back to work when he’s scrolling through the 9-1-1 hashtag on Twitter and notices someone post a link with some artsy photos and a description of something he definitely knows didn’t happen in the show. He clicks on the link, curiosity getting the better of him, and he starts to read.

And that is how, just a few weeks before his twenty-fifth birthday, Nick Nelson finds himself reading gay firefighter fanfiction.

Nick’s heard of fanfiction before, of course. He’s seen it referenced in other fandoms he’s lurked in online, like the various Marvel projects he loves. He remembers some of his friends from uni mentioning that some fanfics get so popular online that they’re sometimes transformed into original novels. The concept of reading one always seemed too daunting for Nick to ever get into properly, the reward of a good story not worth the time and energy it takes to search for it in a large sea works.

But Nick has never been this invested in a show before. Or a ship from a show. Especially one that wasn’t canon.

Of course Nick’s favourite character in 9-1-1 is Evan Buckley; the hot mess bisexual with puppy dog eyes, daddy issues, and a heart of gold. Despite the mass amount of differences between himself and the fictional firefighter, Nick isn’t sure if a tv character has ever made him feel so seen.

Then of course there’s the character of Eddie Diaz, the equally hot and supposedly straight best friend of Buck. Nick would probably find their dynamic in the show as “platonic bros” endearing if it weren’t for the insane chemistry between the two throughout the course of their seven seasons together. Nick just wishes the two of them would make out already, but he also knows the writers are too cowardly to go there.

That is where fanfiction comes in.

Through the power of a little website called Archive of Our Own (or AO3, as he’s learning most online call it), Nick can read tens of thousands of different stories where Buck and Eddie end up together and live happily ever after.

Nick is just over a month into regularly reading fanfics (and a month into his second year of teaching) when he comes across a story that changes his whole world.

The fic is a simple coffee shop AU (alternate universe, Nick is learning all the different fanfic terms very quickly), nothing Nick hasn’t come across before by this point, by a user called mychemicalregrets.

The fic is just over fifty-thousand words, and is only a few chapters away from being completed. He decides to give the first chapter a shot.

He ends up staying up until two in morning on a school night to finish it, reading the entire thing in one sitting. When he gets to the bottom of the page of the most recent chapter, tears are streaming down his cheeks. He doesn’t think a single piece of fiction has ever made him cry this hard, let alone a fan work created for fun by an faceless source. He goes to leave a guest comment, then realises the author only allows comments by active users of the site. Nick has mostly been too nervous to comment on other fics, only doing it once or twice before, and he hadn’t yet come across one that had this restriction for comments. He had figured until now there was no need for an account unless you were a writer. So, he quickly goes to try and create an account, only to receive an email and be told he’ll have to wait an uncertain amount of days for his account to be approved. Nick finally forces himself to go to bed, his cheeks still damp and thoughts of the fic swirling in his head as he shuts his eyes.

For the next week, every time he gets an email he jumps, rushing to see if his account has been approved yet. He has to let this writer know how meaningful this work is to him. Between teaching his classes, drop off duty, and preparing lessons, it’s all he can think about. He even ends up jotting down ideas of what he wants to say in his comment in the notes app on his phone, which he very sneakily titles, Groceries, on the off chance his mum borrows his phone.

He tries reading something new that first night, but finds he can’t even get into the story, his mind wandering back to the one written by mychemicalregrets. He ends up spending his evening re-reading it, as well as the next evening. And the next one.

On his fifth day of waiting for his account to be created, a Saturday, he goes to re-read the fic for the fourth time and discovers a new chapter has been added. He also notices that the rating of the fic has gone up from M (for mature) to E (for… explicit).

Oh.

The author’s note at the beginning of the chapter is bashful and adorable, the author pointing out the rating change and warning that this is their first time writing and posting smut.

please be kind to me and our boys 🫣 i am just as nervous as they are lol

In the context of the story, the chapter takes place just after Eddie has confessed his feelings to Buck in the rain. Nick sits back on his bed and begins to read.

Eddie trails kisses down Buck’s neck, his brown hair still dripping wet from the storm outside. “I’m sorry,” he whispers into Buck’s skin. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you I love you sooner.”

Buck grips Eddie by the shirt collar and yanks him up, smashing their lips together, before pulling away to say, “I don’t need your apologies, Eddie, I just need you.”

Butterflies swarm Nick’s stomach as he continues to read. He reads about Buck taking off Eddie’s shirt, how he worships Eddie’s skin, how his cock jumps excitedly inside his jeans as he traces a hand down toward Eddie’s happy trail.

Nick finds his own cock beginning to twitch in interest inside his joggers. The jolt of arousal startling him enough to set the phone down for a moment. He can feel his face heating up both from being turned on and a bit embarrassed. He knows it’s silly to feel self-conscious in the comfort and privacy of his own home. It’s not like he’s never watched porn before, or masturbated to it. This isn’t even the first time he’s read smut that’s turned him on. There shouldn’t be anything different about this.

Except Nick feels such a personal connection to this story in particular now. It’s much more precious to him than a short video or a silly one shot that he’ll forget all about in a day or two. The stakes, somehow, feel higher. He grabs the phone and goes back to reading. As he gets further and further into the chapter, things begin to escalate for both the fictional boys he’s reading about and Nick himself. It isn’t long before Nick can’t help but palm himself a bit over his joggers, just to relieve some of the tension as his eyes scan the screen.

He doesn’t see any harm as he scrolls down the page with one hand, while the other sneaks under the waistband of his pants. As Eddie licks the head of Buck’s cock in the story, Nick runs a thumb over the head of his own. Eddie sinks his warm mouth onto Buck’s dick, Nick pumps his own with a slow vigor. Nick isn’t sure if he’s ever been this turned on while masturbating before, and he starts to lose focus on the story just as Buck warns Eddie that he’s about to come. Nick quickly sets the phone to the side as he finishes himself off, the images of the fic playing in his brain as he cries out and warm liquid spills across his hand. He lets himself just lay there for a moment, catching his breath and coming down from the high, before he gets up to clean himself up.

After changing into clean pants and joggers (tomorrow is laundry day anyway), he makes his way back to the bed to grab his phone and finish reading the chapter. He’s too spent to get properly turned on again as it becomes Eddie’s turn in the fic to receive head, but he enjoys it nonetheless. Once he’s finished reading, he checks his email again and is disappointed to see a lack of anything new. He thinks the author deserves a proper comment full of praise, especially considering how nervous they seemed to post this chapter.

Nick, of course, wouldn’t tell the author what he got up to while reading the latest installment. It would be creepy as hell to leave a public comment on a total stranger’s writing to let them know you got off to it (unless that stranger explicitly asked for it, which this author did not). But he could still tell them how great the writing was, how he shouldn’t feel insecure about any of it, and how much the fic as a whole means to him.

It was the least Nick could do.

The weekend passes by, and Nick goes into work on Monday in good spirits, though still a bit wilted every time he checks his email. It isn’t until that evening at home, when he’s getting ready to sit down with his dinner and an episode of 9-1-1 queued up and ready to re-watch that Nick sees the email in his inbox.

You’ve been invited to join the Archive of Our Own!

He nearly spills his bowl of spag bol in his eagerness to click the link to sign up officially. Though it isn’t until a few hours later when he’s getting ready for bed that his official activation email comes in, and he is finally, finally able to leave a proper comment on the coffee shop au that has taken over his brain for the last week.

Well, three comments, actually.

bidisaster25: Hello mychemcialregrets, respectfully, do you believe in love at first fic? Because I didn’t until I found your work and now I spend my days wondering if the universe crafted you specifically for me. You have reduced me to a tiny vessel of emotion that wants to curl up in the palm of your hand as you whisper gentle assurances in my ear. Also, wyd later?

bidisaster25: Hi 👋 me again. Just finished my fifth re-read of this fic and wanted to say: I am just a man metaphorically standing in front of an AO3 writer, asking them where they got the ability to see inside my soul? Please never stop. I need your writing like I need air in my lungs. I’ve been waiting an agonising seven days and nights for my account to be created so I could tell you of my love and let you know I think we might be soulmates, you know, if that’s something you’re looking for

bidisaster25: Dear soulmate, your words are the magic of my life, consuming my every waking moment and populating my dreams as I sleep. This chapter is so unreasonably sexy, I fear by the end of this fic I will have enacted a shrine of you in my back garden. You’re welcome to come over and see it. I’m an excellent baker, so I’ll make a cup of tea and whatever sweet treats you’d like. Maybe we can kiss a little too

Relieved that he’s finally been able to pour his heart into a small little white box on a screen, Nick falls asleep that night completely and utterly at peace.

It isn’t until he wakes up the next morning that the dreaded thought of, was that too much? creeps into his head.

For the entire school day, when he’s not trying to tell his class of year threes to pay attention to the spelling lesson or be careful running outside in the grass, he thinks about how strong his comments must have come across. In an effort to express his love and gratitude to the author for being generous enough to share their writing talents with the world for free, he certainly must have spooked them from ever allowing another comment to be left on any of their fics ever again.

When Nick gets home from work that evening, he decides it’d probably be best to delete the comments altogether. He doesn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, and he knows that sometimes he can be a little much for people. But before he can, he sees that the author has not only responded to one of his comments, but all three.

mychemicalregrets: bidisaster25… hi 👋 i think i can only believe in love at first fic if you can believe in love at first comment because… wow 😍 my palms are open and waiting for you whenever you’re ready

mychemicalregrets: i can’t believe you read this fic five times. or that you created an account on here just to leave me a comment. i hope your type is lonely gay twinks who spend all of their free time writing gay firefighter fanfiction, because if it is i’m calling a chapel to schedule our wedding tomorrow. hope you can find a tux on such short notice 💒

mychemicalregrets: dear soulmate, i’ve been re-reading your words over and over again all day trying to come up with a witty response and think everything i’ve devised is shit and not nearly good enough to express my gratitude to you. that being said, i am already on my way over for the tea and shrine and baked goods and the… other thing 👀👄 as promised

Nick reads and re-reads the responses over and over and over again. He wants to print them out and frame them above his bed. If he were the type to get tattoos, he’d have it marked on his back in permanent ink as soon as possible.

He wonders what it would be like to read them out loud at their future wedding.

Before he can reply back, he gets another email alerting him another response to one of his comments has been left. He taps on the notification with shaking hands.

mychemicalregrets: if you’d like to chat more properly, you can find me on twitter under the same username. my DMs are very much open for you 💙 okay bye 🏃

Nick doesn’t waste a moment. He quickly creates a new Twitter account (the only one he already has contains his full government name, and he has enough sense left to keep stranger danger in mind for someone he doesn’t know and has met on the internet for now at the very least) and searches the author’s username. It doesn’t take him long to find their profile and click on the little envelope icon in the corner of the screen.

bidisaster25 (17:39): Hi 👋 it’s me, the bisexual 25 year old that confessed his love for you in your AO3 comments. Does this mean the wedding is on? 💍

bidisaster25 (17:39): Before we get married though, I should probably introduce myself properly. I’m Nick, my pronouns are he/him, Buck is my favourite character in 9-1-1, and I’m in love with you(r writing)

Less than twenty minutes later, Nick steps out of the shower to find a new direct message waiting for him on his lock screen.

mychemicalregrets (17:53): hi nick!!! i’m so happy you messaged me! i seriously can’t tell you enough how much your comments made my day (maybe my whole life??) you are so lovely

mychemicalregrets (17:53): also i agree, should probably establish a few things before we ring those wedding bells. i’m 23, my pronouns are he/him, i’m extremely gay, and my favourite character is eddie (the writers have done him dirty, but i am confident my boy is an extremely closeted fellow gay, as you can probably tell from the fic i’ve written about him)

mychemicalregrets (17:54): oh! and my name is charlie ☺️

Notes:

the second chapter is already written and will be posted soon. you can find me on twitter if you want to here: @ljheartstopper

and if you’re wondering what happened to my bookshop au, it has not been abandoned. the next two chapters are actually fully written and beta’d but i decided that i will (more than likely) wait until i’ve finished the rest of the story before posting the final chapters. appreciate your support and patience 🩷

Chapter 2: how strange that i don’t know you at all

Notes:

all my love and gratitude to mar and lydia for beta reading this chapter 🩷

Nick (19:30): Okay that’s it, I’m calling the wedding off

Nick (19:30): I just can’t marry someone who writes 9-1-1 fanfic in their free time but thinks Marvel films are boring!

Charlie (19:32): i think even you could admit that the events of 9-1-1 are more exciting than any marvel film that’s been put out in the last five years

Nick (19:32): CHARLIE?!?!?!

Nick (19:34): Deadpool & Wolverine? Guardians Volume 3?? SPIDER-MAN NO WAY HOME???

Charlie (19:36): wasn’t that spiderman film’s whole schtick just bringing back andrew and tobey? nostalgia bait does not work on me i’m afraid

Charlie (19:37): although andrew garfield IS the hottest peter parker, there’s no arguing there

Nick (19:37): I see your point, but would very much argue that Tom Holland gives him a run for his money

Charlie (19:37): you’ve watched the rihanna umbrella lip sync battle more than once, haven’t you?

Nick (19:38): …

Nick (19:39): First rule of the Tom Holland umbrella lip sync battle video is to NEVER skip the Tom Holland umbrella lip sync battle video

Charlie (19:40): oh my god

Nick (19:41): Plus Zendaya’s Bruno Mars lip sync in that same episode? 🥵

Nick (19:41): What is a poor bisexual like me supposed to do?

Charlie (19:42): well at least i have confirmation that you have good taste

This is how Nick has been spending most of his evenings recently: sitting on his sofa, old episodes of 9-1-1 playing in the background, and texting his new friend, Charlie.

Well, he’s not sure if friend is the exact right word to describe his relationship with the fanfic writer. Nick certainly doesn’t talk to any of his other friends as often as he texts with Charlie. He also doesn’t flirt with any of his friends to the extent that he does with Charlie. Or fantasise about his friends the way he fantasises about Charlie.

Nick (19:44): What would you say your taste in men is, then?

Nick (19:44): Besides Andrew Garfield circa 2012

Charlie (19:44): honestly?

Charlie (19:45): i don’t think i can afford to be picky enough to have specific “tastes”

Nick (19:45): Oh I don’t believe that for one second! I am positive you have men crawling on their knees begging for a chance with you

Charlie (19:45): what on earth makes you think that? you don’t even know what i look like

Nick (19:45): I don’t need to. You have hot energy

Charlie (19:46): hot energy?

Nick (19:46): Your personality, even through texts alone, exudes hotness 🔥

Charlie (19:47): fuck off 🖕

Nick (19:47): I’m being serious! Only a hot person could text and write the way you do, Charlie. It’s just a fact

Charlie (19:48): … you think my writing is hot?

Nick (19:49): 😳

Nick (19:50): Quit trying to change the subject!

Nick (19:50): You never answered my question

Charlie (19:51): what question?

Nick (19:51): What is your type?

Nick worries for a moment he’s being too pushy, but every nugget of information Charlie gives about himself is precious and sacred to him. It’s something he holds onto and carries with him throughout his days. When he learned that Charlie’s favourite ice cream flavour was chocolate, he found himself picking out a chocolate ice cream cup from the teacher’s lounge freezer during his break instead of his usual go-to of vanilla. When he learned that one of Charlie’s favourite bands—and the main inspiration behind his AO3 username—was My Chemical Romance, Nick found himself playing The Black Parade during his commute home. When he learned that the number one place on Charlie’s travel bucket list was Reykjavík, he found himself looking up how much flights to Iceland cost.

Every piece of lore Nick collects on the puzzle that is Charlie just makes him like the man more and more and more. So of course he wants to know what Charlie’s type is… and if there is any chance that his type is bisexual former rugby players turned teachers with hair that could pass for ginger in the right light and an affinity for dogs and reading gay firefighter fanfiction in their spare time, well… that would work out very nicely for both of them, then!

Charlie (19:53): idk nick! i like a man that’s kind and funny. ideally one that would enjoy spending time with me and being with me

Nick (19:53): Charlie…

Nick (19:54): That’s like… the bare minimum…

Charlie (19:54): oh fuck off, i told you i can’t afford to be picky

Charlie (19:55): and those are the things that actually fucking matter, you know? would i like to date a tall guy with muscles who can throw me around but also has an adorable smile and laugh? of course! but looks fade and as cheesy as it sounds the only thing that matters at the end of the day is feeling safe and cherished and the freedom to be yourself around the person you love most in the world and THAT is what i want

Nick (19:56): Wow

Nick (19:56): That’s beautiful, Charlie 👏 You should use that in your next fic

Charlie (19:59): apparently my type is guys that pour their hearts out in my ao3 comments and then pester me with annoying questions

Nick (20:01): Are you flirting with me???

Charlie (20:02): and what are you going to do about it if i am?

Oh.

Nick didn’t think of what he’d do if he got this far.

Nick (20:07): Warn you that the last time I tried to flirt with someone I called them my soulmate and told them I built a shrine of them in my back garden

Charlie (20:08): hot

Charlie (20:08): how did that go?

Nick (20:09): Well, he gave me his phone number less than 48 hours later and we have not stopped talking ever since

Nick (20:10): But now I’m a little worried he thinks the flirting is just a fun game to me or something. Idk how to tell him I’m not really the type of person to flirt without it meaning something

Nick (20:13): I don’t want to scare him away

Charlie (20:13): you told him he was your soulmate the first time you ever spoke to him and you think THAT is going to scare him away?

Nick (20:13): Well when you put it like that… now I just feel stupid 😖

Charlie (20:14): you’re not stupid

Charlie (20:14): you’re sweet and kind and funny and smarter than you give yourself credit for

Charlie (20:16): i wouldn’t worry about scaring that guy away… i think talking to you is sort of the highlight of his day, like, everyday lately

Nick almost chucks his phone across the room to grab the nearest pillow to scream into it like a teenager with a massive crush. But he’s a grown man with a massive crush, so instead he decides to be practical and gently set his phone down on the cushion next to him before grabbing a pillow to scream into.

Nick (20:18): Talking to him is the highlight of my days too ❤️

Nick (20:19): Well, that and any time he lets me sneak a peak at any new chapter before he posts it to the public

Nick (20:19): I’m dying to know what happens after Eddie gets home to find Buck already there waiting for him 👀

Charlie (20:20): OH I SEE HOW IT IS

Charlie (20:20): you’re just flirting with me so you can get early access to your favourite fic 😤

Nick (20:20): Listen, I’m not above whoring myself out for some good Buddie pining and smut!

Charlie (20:25): fine then, how’s this?

Charlie sends a screenshot along with the message that Nick can’t open fast enough.

“I thought you left,” Eddie confesses as Buck flicks open the tube of lube. He carefully squirts some out onto his fingers before closing the lid and chucking the bottle across the room.

Buck leans over to pull Eddie into another fierce kiss. There’s nothing gentle about the way he licks into Eddie’s mouth, claiming it with his tongue. All Eddie can do in response is moan. This is everything he’s ever wanted and he still can’t believe it’s finally happening.

Just as Eddie has turned into putty under Buck’s mouth, Buck pulls his lips away to whisper, “I’m never leaving you again, baby,” and then he slips a lubed up finger through Eddie’s rim.

Eddie can’t keep it together, not even a minute goes by before he’s begging for more. “One more finger, baby, please.” Buck doesn’t deny him, flashing Eddie his signature gorgeous smile before granting his wish and causing the man beneath him to whine out a thank you. When Eddie pleads for a third finger, Buck obliges, seeming so calm and collected. His only tell that he’s as turned on as Eddie is being the erection poking into Eddie’s side and the pink colour running across his normally pale face.

Just as Nick finishes reading the snippet, another text from Charlie comes in.

Charlie (20:27): sorry, probably should have given a nsfw warning on that one. even though i know you’re just home from work for the night. still feels a bit rude

Nick (20:27): Trust me, nothing about what you sent me just now was rude

Nick (20:27): Holy shit

Charlie (20:28): oh god, is it bad?

Charlie (20:28): idk why i got so nervous to send you that but i did it anyway and now i’m just hoping and praying you don’t think it’s complete and utter shit and that you take back every nice word you’ve ever said about my writing

Nick (20:28): Charlie

Nick (20:28): If you want me to be totally honest that was… hot as fuck

Charlie (20:30): stfu 🙄

Nick (20:30): I am being completely serious

Nick hesitates for a moment before typing his next text, but something in him screams, fuck it, and he decides to be (maybe) a little too honest.

Nick (20:31): This is probably super TMI so I am sorry in advance but like, I am super turned on right now from just those few paragraphs alone

Charlie (20:33): oh my god

Charlie (20:33): it’s not tmi for me, don’t worry. i mean like, if it were anyone else it probably would be, but with you… i really really enjoy hearing that

Charlie’s positive reaction grants Nick another boost of confidence.

Nick (20:34): Can I confess something else TMI to you?

Charlie (20:34): only if you want to, but yes of course you can

Nick (20:36): I love your writing for so many reasons. You completely get Buck and Eddie as individual characters, but you also write their dynamic together so well. The banter between them and even some of the other characters is so well written and SO funny. The angst and the pining were so good, I was on the edge of my seat waiting for what was going to happen next

Charlie (20:37): okay, nicholas, no need to butter me up. out with it

Nick (20:38): I just needed you to know all of that before I confess that I also find the sex scenes you’ve written incredibly hot, to the point that I… maybe… have even wanked to them before…

Nick can see when Charlie’s opened the message, and each millisecond that passes where he doesn’t reply, Nick tries to sink himself deeper and deeper into his sofa until he’s certain it can swallow him up so he can disappear forever because, why the fuck did you tell him that you absolute twat?!

When his phone finally lights up again he practically scrambles for it.

Charlie (20:42): wow

Charlie (20:42): i’m honoured, truly

Charlie (20:43): all i’ve ever wanted to achieve in life is writing something wank-worthy, thank you for making my dreams come true 🥹

Nick (20:43): Oh god I really really shouldn’t have told you that 😭 now I must hide in shame forever

Charlie (20:44): i’m just teasing you!! i’m sorry, thank you for feeling brave enough to share that with me

Charlie (20:45): can i share something with you in return, now?

Nick (20:45): Yes, of course you can, you can always tell me anything

Charlie (20:47): this entire conversation has made me hard

Charlie (20:48): i know we don’t even know what the other person looks like, but just imagining you touching yourself to something i wrote… idk, something about it is so fucking hot

Nick almost drops his phone.

Nick (20:49): Charlie, holy shit

Nick (20:49): I’m hard now too

Nick knows they’re crossing a new line in this weird sort-of-friendship-sort-of-text-flirtation they’ve had going on for the last few weeks. He knows if they keep taking things in the direction they’re heading, that there will be no turning back.

But Nick doesn’t want to turn back. Since the first night he and Charlie began to message each other, he had a feeling that something was brewing between them. Something more than a friendship, more than a reader fanboying over his favourite fanfic writer, more than anything Nick has experienced in a long time.

So he plows straight ahead.

Nick (20:50): I wish we could help each other out

Charlie (20:51): i mean…

Charlie (20:51): in a way, we can…

Charlie (20:52): are you touching yourself?

Nick doesn’t need to be asked twice. He quickly pulls his joggers down and takes his already hard dick out of his pants and begins to stroke himself.

Nick (20:53): I am now

Charlie (20:53): me too

Nick (20:53): Fuck, I wish you were here

Charlie (20:53): i do too

Charlie (20:53): fuck nick

Charlie (20:53): i would make you feel so good

Charlie (20:54): wish i could trail kisses down your neck, to your collarbone

Charlie (20:54): wish i could unzip your trousers for you as i leave marks all along your chest

Charlie (20:54): wish i could put your cock in my mouth

Nick actually moans out loud when that text comes in. From what he can tell from their conversations, Charlie is good at literally everything, so why should sexting be any different?

Charlie (20:55): how do you like your dick to be sucked, nick?

Charlie (20:56): do you like it hard and fast? or would you want me to take my time? edging you until you’re screaming my name and begging me to come

It takes all of Nick’s willpower not to immediately come on the spot.

Nick (20:57): Holy fuck I’m so turned on right now

Nick (20:58): I like taking my time. I’d want to make sure you’re comfortable, that you’re enjoying yourself. That you’re getting as much pleasure out of it as I am. Knowing you’re enjoying yourself makes me so hard

Charlie (20:59): god you really are a sweetheart

Nick hopes that’s a good thing, at least to Charlie. He knows some people like it rough, Nick has even had partners in the past that have asked him to not be so gentle with them, and he’s always obliged. But it’s not in his nature.

He takes his hand off his cock so he can type back with both hands, not wanting to keep Charlie waiting too long.

Nick (21:01): I’d take my time sucking you off, too. I’d start at the tip then slowly work my way up your shaft until I’m completely gagging for it

Nick (21:01): I’d watch your face, listen to every breath and sound you make. I’m a fast learner, so I’d figure out quickly what would make you moan and whine and I would keep doing that

Charlie (21:03): jesus nick

Charlie (21:04): that’s so fucking hot

Charlie (21:04): you’re turning me on so much

Nick feels a swoop of victory in his stomach. He knows Charlie’s words turn him on, that they can get him off. The fact that Nick can do the same for Charlie in return gives him a sense of pride that somehow makes him excited enough to bring his attention back to his own neglected, leaking cock. He quickly licks his palm for some added lubrication before leisurely tugging on the shaft as he types back with his free hand.

Nick (21:05): Are you still touching yourself?

Charlie (21:05): yes

Charlie (21:06): i’m wishing it was you instead

Nick (21:06): I wish it was me too

Nick (21:06): I would take such good care of you, darling

Charlie (21:07): fuck, nick, i’m so close

Nick (21:08): fuck me too

Nick (21:08): gonna come for you

Nick fucks into his own fist, so close to his release as a typing bubble pops up on Charlie’s end before new messages come pouring in.

Charlie (21:09): if i was there i’d make you come in my mouth

Charlie (21:09): i’d suck you down until there was nothing left and i’d swallow every last drop and i’d still be begging for more

Nick (21:10): f uck

Nick comes before he can even hit send.

Notes:

you can find me on twitter if you want to here: @ljheartstopper