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“Positive.”
The look on Sieun’s face is almost comical.
Had the situation been different, Juntae would laugh. Would tease him about it and then apologize when Sieun gives him that unimpressed look that he does.
But he’s fighting off a panic attack and he’s sure he’s barely managing to fill his lungs with enough air so that he doesn’t pass out.
He swallows thickly and his hands begin to shake. He drops the pregnancy test and his back hits the wall. Juntae feels the cold sweat gathering on his body and suddenly his sweater is too constricting and it's too hot, why is it so hot?
Sieun catches him by the arm before his knees give out on him. They’re on the floor and Juntae’s mind is going a mile a minute.
“Juntae-ya, I need you to breathe… come on, you can do it.”
Sieun’s voice is almost muffled, like Juntae’s underwater and his head is filled with cotton, as is his mouth because he tries to open his mouth to reply, to say something. But the words can’t get past his teeth, heavy on his tongue.
Finally, he lets out what could only be described as a strangled, pained and choked gasp. “Sieun-ah.” And it comes with tears.
Sieun silently holds him close to his chest with watery eyes and a shake in his own hands as he tries to calm his friend down.
It takes a few minutes. Minutes that honestly feel like hours, but Sieun is very patient with him. Helping him get his labored breathing under control.
The sound of skin against skin bounces off the walls, the hollow room only makes each gasp, each grunt and each moan more pornographic than it should ever be.
“Hold yourself open for Hyung.”
“Ah… Hyung.”
Juntae’s legs ache the way the stretch on his hamstrings are almost too much. Spread wide to accommodate Seongje’s much bigger body between them. Knees pressed against his chest and only his hands holding them there, pretending himself to Seongje who strokes him in his deepest most intimate parts.
“Good boy.” Seongje spits in between them, where they are connected, and it contributes to the delicious slide in and out like lube.
Juntae rightfully loses his mind. A hand pulling Seongje down by the nape of his neck to kiss him deeply. He bites Seongje’s lips hard when the older reaches between them to help him climax faster. Stars burst behind his eyelids and white hot pleasure courses through him like liquid fire.
Seongje keeps his pace, fucking him through his orgasm until he cums.
Juntae hisses at the overstimulation when Seongje is pulling out.
“Fuck.”
“What?”
“The fucking condom snapped.”
Seongje takes his discarded shirt to clean up the mess between them.
“It's okay.” He says, pressing a gentle kiss to Seongje’s brow.
And it really should be. Because he’s on the pill.
The pill.
And somehow, as if by a shared link. Sieun vocalizes the thought. “Aren’t you on birth control, Juntae-ya?”
“I- I was… I mean I am. I-ack.” He scrambled up to get to his bedside drawer. It’s filled with miscellaneous items, but he finds what he needs.
Sieun is close behind.
The packet is half empty, as it should be according to his schedule. He hasn’t missed a single day. He even has an alarm set on his phone for when he should be taking it.
“But, Tae-ya, don’t you usually take this brand?” Sieun reached into the drawer and pulled out another box of contraception. When he pulled the card out of the box, that packet was also halfway through.
“I- yeah…” Juntae takes it from him, “but these were making me sick… so I changed them.” His bottom lip wobbles and his chin trembles.
“How did you switch? You took it without missing a day, right?”
Juntae chokes out a sob. “That’s what the instruction said… yeah.” His throat burns and tears sting at his eyes. “Sieun.”
Sieun sighs out through his nose, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth. He holds Juntae by his shoulders with a gentle touch and forces him to sit on the bed. “A false positive. Sometimes these things can be wrong. Stay here and I’ll run to the corner store to get another one.”
He seems more than a little hesitant to leave Juntae all alone, but he goes either way.
He slips his shoes on and is out of the building in record time.
All while Juntae can bite his nails down to the quick and overthink.
Because usually they’re always double safe. No matter what.
Well… almost always.
“Fuck… I don’t have a rubber baby.”
“Don’t worry about it. Just this once.”
The car windows are fogged up from their heavy breathing and them getting hot and heavy with one another in the middle of the day.
It’s fine though. Because they were in the middle of a date when the skies opened up and decided that a downpour was exactly what they needed. Which… might have been arguably true when Seongje quickly strips out of his windbreaker to wrap Juntae up in it and quickly rush them back to the car. But by the time they unlocked the doors and got in, the damage had already been done. They were soaked to the bone. Seongje’s white T-shirt stuck to his skin and left just about nothing to the imagination.
One thing led to another… and yeah.
Juntae takes all of him in almost one go. Sinking down on his delicious length and feeling the stretch of his girth forcing its way in. His hands are on Seongje’s chest for stability and the steering wheel digs into his lower back almost uncomfortably but he’s more focused on the fullness that he could never get quite enough of.
Seongje holds him by his hips, controlling and even guiding his every movement. Pulling him down and meeting his every thrust as Juntae rides him like this might be his last.
He even sucks a nipple into his mouth, kissing and biting at it until they’re both glistening on Juntae’s chest like red gems.
Ok, maybe they had become a little too careless.
Sieun tries his best to distract him as they wait. Tries keeping his mind off of the elephant in the room by any means necessary and tries keeping Juntae out of his mind as long as he could.
But it wasn’t working very well.
It’s soft and slow the way their lips meet. Seongje tastes of cigarettes and the chocolate he stole from Juntae earlier.
“Whatever happened to wanting a regular movie night?” Seongje teases, kissing Juntae on the tip of his nose before pressing equally gentle kisses to both his cheeks before he pulls the younger closer to him and cuddles him closer.
Juntae lets out a whine of protest when his boyfriend turns back to the tv and… to be honest, Juntae isn’t even following the plot of the movie. He hadn’t been since the beginning of the movie up to the climax where the protagonist is doing… something. He’s only focused on his tempting boyfriend. It is his tight compression shirt that enhances his body in all the right way, and his gray sweatpants that… makes him drool. And all of this had to be on purpose. Juntae is convinced.
“I want…” he gulps.
“What’s that, my flower? Hyung will give you whatever you want.”
“I want Hyung to fuck me like a whore.”
And then there’s a whole other movie playing and Juntae is even more lost on what the plot is supposed to be. Because he’s on his hands and knees, chest pressed into the couch cushions and his knees rub uncomfortably against the faux suede and he knows it’ll leave marks.
But Seongje is ramming into him with demonic force and he’s fucked further and further into the couch. His clothes are completely gone, whereas Seongje only pulled down the front of his sweatpants to let his hard cock out to fuck Juntae.
“God, look at you.” He hooks his thumb at Juntae’s entrance, pulling to open him up further around his dick that was already so deep inside. “So perfect. Hyung’s perfect little whore.” He slips his thumb inside alongside his cock and Juntae can feel the muscles in his belly spasm. “Bet I could fit a whole other dick in here and fuck you all at once, don’t you think?”
Juntae is too fucked out to respond with sense. So he only makes soft noises to acknowledge the thought.
“Next time I’ll use one of your dildos. I know you’d like that. Taking two dicks at the same time, you’d look so beautiful.”
The thought alone is enough to make Juntae climax.
Did Seongje wear a condom that day? Did he pull out in time?
As if mocking them, the lines on this one are almost brighter than the last three that they tried. Confirming that without a doubt, he was pregnant. He almost wants to vomit again.
How’s he gonna explain this to Seongje?
By their magically connected link, Sieun says, “I’ll come with you. When you need to tell him, I mean.” He holds Juntae’s hand and his presence is Juntae’s biggest comfort.
“Everythings gonna be ok. I’m here for you. We all are. You never have to do anything alone.”
Juntae drops his tired head on Sieun’s shoulder. “I know, Sieun-ie.”
Seongje knows that there’s something wrong as soon as he sees him, and clocks it the first chance he gets. He presses the back of his hand to Juntae’s forehead, and then uses his palm. Then he repeats this action to Juntae’s neck. “If you’re not running a fever, what’s the matter? You’ve been acting a little funny, sweetie.”
He pulls Juntae closer to his side and drops a kiss to his temple while rubbing at his shoulders comfortingly. “Do you want Hyung to take you back? Are you tired?”
He’s about to start fussing. He takes back the stuffed animal that he won at one of the game stalls and he’s sure if he had looked maybe a little worse the older would insist to give him a piggyback ride.
“I’m fine, Hyung.” Juntae forces a smile, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes.
“Did I… did I do something bad? Ah… I don’t remember. Maybe I said something carelessly and-”
“No, no! Hyung didn’t do anything wrong.” Juntae’s heart catches in his throat when he sees Seongje’s genuinely concerned expression.
But now he’s only frowning, his dark eyes study Juntae closely from behind his glasses.
Juntae takes a deep breath and tries a smile again. “Let’s go to the Ferris wheel, Hyung. I think some fresh air will make me feel better.”
“So you aren’t feeling well?”
Juntae ignores him and pulls him along.
They wait in line and when it’s finally their turn, the ride up is smooth and comfortable. Seongje even fusses over him as usual. Shrugging off his jacket to drape it over Juntae’s shoulders because the higher they got, the more the brisk air bit at their skin.
When they’re almost at the very top, the ride stops a little so that everyone can enjoy the view of the skyline. Juntae pulls the stuffed wolf toy close to his chest and tucks it under his chin.
“Are you sure you’re-”
“I need to tell you something.”
Seongje falls silent, and worry flashes through his eyes.
“Are you… breaking up with me?” There’s an unmistakable crack in his voice when he asks and Juntae’s stomach drops.
“No!” He shouts, a little too loud. “No, of course not. How could you even-”
Seongje breathes out a sigh of relief and then an incredulous laugh.
“But I- Hyung, you can’t get upset with me, ok?”
“You’re kinda worrying me, sweetie.”
“Okay, Hyung?” He holds his pinkie out, and thrusts it closer to Seongje when he doesn’t take his pinkie into his own.
“Fine, fine. Okay.” They lock pinkies, and the promise is made.
Juntae turns back to the skyline. And breathes out a shaky breath. “Boy… this isn’t easy to say.”
“Then just say it.”
And he almost wants to roll his eyes.
He takes a few moments to put the two words together. But Seongje waits patiently through each hesitant moment.
“Sweet lamb, you really don’t have to-”
“I’m pregnant."
The silence is palpable.
“What?”
“Hyung, I’m pregnant with your baby.”
He doesn’t take his eyes off the skyline, and he holds the plushie closer to himself like a lifeline.
“Tae-ya. Seo Juntae-ya, look at me.”
Juntae doesn’t. His eyes are locked on the bright distant lights that mimic stars. Tears burn at his throat and he wills them not to leave his eyes. He feels pathetic.
“It’s ok, my sweet lamb. Look at me.” There’s a soft touch at his neck, warm and tender just like Seongje.
He turns, and Seongje isn’t upset. He’s not remotely angry or even annoyed.
He even
He looks…
Happy.
“Is this true, baby?” Seongje raises a hand and thumbs at a tear that falls despite his best efforts. He brushes it away and softly rubs circles to his cheekbone. Juntae leans into the touch.
Juntae nods.
“Tell me again. Say it to me.”
Juntae opens his mouth and his voice is just above a whisper, “I’m pregnant with Hyung’s child.”
And then Seongje kisses him.
It’s nothing more than a tender kiss, a soft union of lips. And then he’s peppering his face with more kisses.
“Hyung isn’t mad?”
“No- I- now why would I ever be upset about something like that?” He pulls Juntae into the most bone crushing hug he could manage with what little space they have, being very mindful of his stomach and their unborn child growing inside.
He sets a hand on Juntae’s still relatively flat stomach, and the smile on his face is bigger than Juntae has ever seen. It’s infectious, because now he’s smiling too.
His hand joins Seongje’s over his stomach, and their fingers twined. There’s a sparkle in Seongje’s eyes and it makes Juntae feel a little choked up.
Seongje’s impossibly wide smile is accompanied by the sweetest little giggles. Giggles for heaven's sake. “Our own little family.”
Juntae’s heart skips a beat.
“You want that? You want that with me?” There’s an air of disbelief in Juntae’s voice. The uncertainty that he could never quite shake from his bones.
Seongje’s eyebrows furrow as if Juntae said the most outlandish thing. “Sweet boy, I want that and more. I want everything with you. I want to be your first and your last. I want to be your only. Just like how you’re my everything.”
And now Juntae really can’t help the tears. Big wet tears fall down his cheeks and fog up his glasses. “Seongje hyung is already my everything too.”
And now if Seongje was a better man, maybe he’d admit that he’d been planning this for months. But he's really not.
If he were honest, maybe he'd hatched this sick little plan since the first time he ever laid eyes on this precious little lamb. He’d never before felt the most primal instinctual need to breed someone more than when he met his perfect little lamb. His beautiful, perfectly sweet lamb.
And like a disease, it festered and rotted his mind until all he could imagine was how beautiful the boy would look, heavy and round and perfect with his child. The mental image itself was enough to serve as jerkoff material for the longest time.
Right up until it was no longer enough, that is.
But he bided his time with patience.
The first date, the second date, third, fourth, seventh, tenth and onward and it only confirmed what he already knew.
He was madly in love with this innocent lamb.
Obsessed even.
He was careful for their first time together. Birth control was his suggestion. Condoms were his suggestion. Better safe than sorry. He’d winked before ripping open the foil packet with his teeth. And Juntae was all over it. Precious innocent eyes and sweet nods and all.
He carefully and slowly weaned them off of condoms. Sometimes they snapped but most of the time he had just forgotten to bring one.
Juntae would be all riled up, heavy breathing, red cheeks and impatient. “ It’s okay without. This once. ” He’d say. And then once turned to twice, and twice turned to never.
Perfect.
Next was his pesky little birth control, which Juntae was even more careful and strict with. But clearly not strict enough. Because when he’d switch the packet out for a placebo every now and then, the younger didn’t even notice the difference in texture, in taste, or even in color .
And maybe every now and then he’d slip something into his tea. Nothing harmful at all, of course. Just enough to make him a little dizzy, a little nauseous, a little more fatigued.
“ Hyung, I think these are giving me side effects. ”
“ We can get you new ones. ”
And perhaps he didn’t notice the way Seongje was committed to fucking him into oblivion for a week straight around the time he switched to a different brand.
Seongje could never be sure. But he knew that his little plan was working, and that he would soon achieve his goal.
So when Juntae’s still crying tears of joy into his chest. Seongje’s smile is still showing no signs of fading.
And maybe he’s already scheming baby #2.
Maybe they can aim for twins this time.
This was his own little secret though.