Lex Luthor Creates Mister Handsome

by GayLord3000

Summary:

At 12 years old Lex Luthor creates Mister Handsome.

OR

How Lex Luthor and Mister Handsome Stole Christmas

It was holiday season time for mischief and fantasies and throughout all Metropolis, 

People were enjoying spending time with their families, 

Away from school and work, 

Except for little Lex Luthor because he was a jerk. 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Lex sat with his shoulders hunched and his arms crossed in the back of the limo. It was a relief to finally be away from school but he knew it was only a brief respite. The cut across his nose was scabbing over in an itch he refused to lower himself to scratch. Lex hated how stupid it looked. A genius beyond anything else the world had to offer being beaten by a mullet wearing moron named Brandon. Lex had started working out but he was yet to see any results yet. Based on the ages his father, grandfather and great grandfather experienced growth spurts, Lex had calculated he’d only start growing to his full height at 15 years old. Which meant another 3 years being the smallest boy in his year level. 

 

He felt the car grind to a halt. Rebelliously, Lex sunk further into the seat, refusing to get up. Crisp knocks against the window followed, which he ignored. The door pulled open. “C’mon, we’re not waiting all day Lex.” A familiar strained voice called. 

 

The red headed woman smiled thinly, lightly thumping on the roof of the limo and stepping away. Her tacky bright patterned clothes stood out against the muted backdrop of the mansion. She brushed his fringe off his face when he got out of the car. “Your hair is so long now. Careful, you’re starting to look like a girl.” 

 

He slapped her hand away. “Fuck off, Miriam.” 

 

Lex had never gotten along with his step mother. She knows he is more than smart enough to be home schooled and still she continues to send him off to Excelsior Academy. She knows that he knows it’s because she doesn’t want him at home and she resents him for it.  

 

She stepped away from the car with a dull smile, murmuring “Okay, then.” to herself. 

 

Why his father married her was truly a mystery. Miriam was neither particularly intelligent (as Lex’s own mother had been) or particularly attractive. She was a younger neurotic Irish woman who lived in fear of her own shadow. There was only one good thing that had come from her presence at the manor. 

 

“Lex! Lex!” 

 

He peeled himself off the backseat and stepped out of the car. His sister Lena pushed her upper body off her chair in excitement, strawberry blonde pigtails bouncing as she did so. “Did you miss me? Have you got me a Christmas present?”

 

He hated to admit it but it made for a sickly sweet image. The ear to ear smile underneath her freckled cheeks. She looked like one of the spunky disabled children seen in bad Christmas movies.  

 

Lex placed a hand on her head and pushed her back down. “You’re not an orangutan Lena, don’t jump up and down when you see someone.” Of course, orangutans were not nearly as social as humans but she didn’t know that. 

 

He heard his stepmother sigh followed by the click of her cheap lighter. He ignored it. 

 

“Now, let’s shake hands like gentlemen and gentleladies.” His sister held out her chubby little hand obediently, he shook it then rewarded her with a hug. 

 

“Gentle.” Miriam hoovered by them as she smoked. 

 

She had always been suspicious of his intentions with her. Miriam, already unprepared for parenthood, quickly fell out of her depth with her daughter’s paraplegia compensated with over protection and spoiling. Granted, Lex had once made an off-color Heidi joke but he would never actually do anything. At 6 years old, Lena was already reading at the level of a 10 year old. Of course those numbers were paltry compared to what Lex was like at her age but still there was potential. Who knew maybe in a few years she could be his lab assistant. 

 

“Missed you too.” He mumbled reluctantly to her. He never enjoyed getting too mushy. 

 

Lena definitely heard because her smile perked back up. 

 

With that taken care of, Lex turned his attention to supervising the footmen as they carried in his things. There were a couple inventions packed in his suitcases that wouldn’t survive being dropped on the floor. Originally, Lex had planned to show them to his father but with Lionel staying in Tahiti with his business partners that had fallen through. That hardly mattered, it was safer to display them at home anyway. 

 

 

Everything was the same as when he’d last left it. The Gothic mansion still had the clashing Boho decor that arrived 7 years ago with his step mother. Lex sat in the centre of the first story playroom, practicing his Mandarin as he played Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance on his Nintendo GameCube. He took a break to have the chef make him a grilled cheese. Lex ate it as he talked with Bill Gates on the phone. He visited his laboratory, fiddled around with his 100 metre teleporter (328 feet teleporter didn’t sound as good). 

 

Once he’d grown bored of this, Lex decided to spend time with his sister. He lay on the floor next to her as Steve, her 7 foot tall Pacific Islander physiotherapist, stretched her legs out and back into her chest. 

 

“What is the capital of Indonesia?” He quizzed her.

 

 

“I dunno. Jordan?” She answered boredly.

 

 

“Jakarta. Focus, Lena right now your brain can soak up information like a sponge. Don’t squander it.” He tried to instill a sense of responsibility in her.

 

“I want to watch Dexter’s Laboratory.” Lena whined. She started to sit up. 

 

“Hey, come on Lena.” Steve cut in with his soft voice. “Let’s finish this set, it’s the last time I’ll see you before I go on holiday. I’m gonna miss my best work friend.”

 

Her blue eyes shine brightly at the words. “Really?”

 

Lex rolled his eyes. Steve was a well adjusted married adult with a steady job and two children, obviously a little girl was not his friend. He was 12 and the fact Lena was his best friend made him burn with humiliation. It was such an insulting and unnecessary lie. “Obviously not. Lena, finish the set or your muscles will atrophy.” 

 

Steve winced. “Mate-“ 

 

A small hand smacked him hard in the eye. Lex scrambled up, covering the sore spot. In retaliation he kicked her in the ribs. 

 

“Hey! Guys, don’t-“ 

 

With impressive speed, Lena rolled to her side wrapping her arms around his leg and sinking her teeth into his ankle like a crocodile. Lex was embarrassingly aware of his high pitched shriek echoing throughout the mansion. 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

A red ring of small teeth remained around his ankle but the skin had not broken, small mercies. Because Lex is capable of being the bigger man, when Lena quietly approaches him in the playroom he says nothing and turns on Dexter’s Laboratory. They stare at the TV a while, mostly in silence except for odd interjections from Lena impersonating character’s lines. It’s fine.

 

It gets late and they go down for dinner. There used to be a long Brazilian rosewood dinner table, it was strange to eat at when there were only four people. Miriam replaced it with a short round marble table that forced all people sitting at it to face each other. Lex found it worse. 

 

“So, Steve tells me you guys got into a fight today.” Her smile is strained as she pours herself a glass of white wine. 

 

Lena shuffled around the vegetables on her plate while Lex stared Miriam down. He’s never backed down with her before and he isn’t about to start now.

 

“You know you can’t do that Lex.” 

 

He cut his steak casually. “One kick to the ribs isn’t going to make her any more paralysed.”  

 

Miriam exhales. “If it happens again, I’ll have you stay at boarding school all year round. Do you understand me?” There was no tremor in her voice and her tone was grave.

 

His throat dries up. It wouldn’t have happened again anyway, it’s not like he’s in the habit of fighting his much younger wheelchair bound sister. Lex grit his teeth trying to dispel the growing itch in his eyes. “Crystal.”

 

His stepmother rubbed her eyes, there are dark circles underneath them he notices now. “I know things are not easy right now,” She addressed both of them. “But we’ve got to make this work, yeah? We’ve got to do our physical therapy, we’ve got to eat our vegetables and we’ve got to be nice to each other, okay?”

 

How dare she say that after she’s threatened to kick him out of his home? When she’ll leave him alone to be brutalised in that awful school he hates. 

 

“Okay, mommy.” Lena mumbled. 

 

Miriam looked to him. “Lex?” 

 

“You know he’s fucking someone else right?” 

 

It’s no slip of tongue, he’d known what he was saying. Still for reasons he can’t explain, a bitter feeling blooms in his chest. He bites down on his tongue trying to control himself, appear stoic. The color drains from her face immediately, she puts down her knife and fork. Lena stares at her plate, distantly he wonders if she knew what that meant? 

 

“He’s away all the time because he hates you, if it wasn’t for you he’d be here and I wouldn’t be stuck at that shitty school!” Lex’s voice cracked. 

 

“You think I’m keeping him from you? Why do you think you're in boarding school in the first place? He doesn’t want to be around you!” Miriam’s eyes widened and she slapped a hand over her mouth. 

 

Lena started wailing. Lex pushed his chair out, storming away before they’d see him cry. How stupid, it wasn’t like she said anything he didn’t know before. 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

From 4 to 8 years old Lex used to have violent crying fits. Panic attacks. Late at night when he knew he was supposed to fall asleep. It wasn’t that sleeping scared him, it was that whenever Lex got close to falling asleep he’d remember that one day he would die. No words could assuage that fear. It was true, no matter what he did. One day Lex would die and be forgotten. (And the fear had never really gone away, Lex was just better able to control himself now).  Mom had to lay down next to him, running her nails through his hair, whispering reassurances until he calmed down enough to sleep. 

 

Dad- Lionel couldn’t stand it. 

 

Evanescence blared from his headphones as Lex buried his weeping face into his pillow. He wanted his mom. He knew it was juvenile but he wanted nothing more than for her to appear. God, Lex didn’t want to go back to school. They were all so awful. Mean, uncreative, idiots. Even the teachers. There was no one he could talk to. 

 

At first Lex was placed in a room with four other boys but after multiple incidents, the worst of which being when they slammed his head against a toilet seat so hard he got a minor concussion, the faculty caved and gave him his own room. Lex was the only boy at Excelsior Academy to have his own room. He’d been relieved not to have to worry about the other boys but once night time hit… he was lonely. The room was stark, one bed tucked away in the corner, one drawer. At night the moonlight shone through the only window cast shadows on his wall. And Lex wasn’t an idiot, he knew that’s all they were but it still frightened him. 

 

“Please, please, please.” Lex whispered into his pillow. No one would hear, he knew. 

 

He wanted someone to help him. Someone bigger and stronger to protect him. To tear his enemies apart. Have them begging at his feet for his forgiveness which would never come. A bodyguard who did whatever Lex said, hung out with him whenever he wanted. If only someone like that was real. 

 

What was Lex thinking? He calmed his breathing, the flow of tears stopped. He was Lex Luthor, the most brilliant mind humanity had ever produced. What was stopping him from creating this person? Yes, yes, it was perfect. This year Lex’s Christmas present to himself would be creating life. He would make himself the perfect protector companion. When Lex returned to school, he would be returning ready to defend himself and more. His eyes started to slip closed, his earlier outbursts had drained his energy. Tomorrow Lex would start work on his new friend. 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

From the moment Lex woke up on Christmas Eve Day, he was filled with purpose. 

 

 

Dressed in a Howie labcoat, googles and black rubber gloves, Lex locked himself in his laboratory and set about his work. Blaring David Bowie from his portable stereo. Humans were not that complicated, if fumbling idiots at prom night could make them then so could he. It would have been easiest to use a sample of his DNA as a baseline but Lex did not want a clone of himself. Instead he would grow one from scratch. 

 

It’d be just like Fullmetal Alchemist. 

 

Lex combined the elements and chemicals that made up a human being like he was making a cake. To ensure he wasn't stuck with a baby or an anemic weakling Lex had added a substantial amount of growth hormone. The person mixture churned in the centrifuge, between the electric droning of the machine and the dulcet tones of Bowie, it took a second for him to realise someone was pounding at the door. He opened the door halfway. 

 

Lena was waiting outside wearing a snow coat over a pink tutu. “What are you doing?” 

 

“Stuff.” 

 

“What stuff?” 

 

He crossed his arms over his chest. “None of your business.” 

 

“Come have a snowball fight with me.” She looked up at him pleadingly. 

 

“Not today, Lena. I’m busy.” Lex looked over his shoulder checking the centrifuge. 

 

“Can I hang out in your lab then? You can ask me questions. I know the capital of Greenland.” She added hopefully. 

 

“Look, Lena, I'm working on something right now. Go away.” He shut the door, locking it via remote as he walked back to his station. 

 

The banging of her little fists against the metal door echoed through the laboratory. “Lex! Please! Come play with me!” She yelled from the other side. 

 

He turned the music up to drown out the noise and went back to work. 

 

It was slow progress. Lex missed lunch. Then he missed dinner. Miriam had come down, she knocked on the door but didn’t wait very long before leaving. Whatever. He was on the verge of achieving something that had never been accomplished before. For the fourth time at that. All that was left was to wait for the petri dish to show signs of life. 

 

At 8pm Lex jolted in his desk chair and realised he must have fallen asleep. His eyes quickly darted to the dish, he was disappointed to see there’d been no change. Oh well, maybe in the next-

 

The dish gurgled.

 

The milky fluid began to bubble, expanding out of the dish. Thin bubbles expanded coagulating to gluggy balloons of flesh, the stuff of David Cronenberg’s dreams. Lumps of the featureless white ballooning flesh intersected, defleating, coming together in one solid piece. Finally, the pieces smoothed into something more familiar. A  human-esque silhouette, pale skin pulled taut over muscle, extended limbs, beady black eyes matched with black gums. The creature took its first breath, mouth hanging open revealing small pointed teeth. Not needle like, closer to the ends of push pins. His chest rose and fell as those black eyes blinked at the overhead lights. 

 

“Look at you…You’re perfect.” Lex rasped overcome with pride.  

 

He took a step toward his creation, it startled and scrambled back. The big clone hunched like a gorilla to get a better look at the boy approaching him. 

 

“It’s okay.” Lex held out his hands reassuringly. “I won’t hurt you.” 

 

It hesitated and then, beautifully and strangely it lowered its head resting it between his hands. It’s skin was smooth, moist but not sticky. Similar to touching a toad but with a more human texture. Lex lightly scratched its head. 

 

“Good boy, you’re a good boy aren’t you?” He cooed, his creation wheezed pleasantly in response. “You’re my big handsome boy, yes, you are.” 

 

To an outsider, the image would have seemed horrific. A young boy embracing a monster that loomed over him the same way you would a puppy. From the inside this was one of few moments in Lex’s life where he felt pure innocent happiness. 

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

He led Mister Handsome to the kitchen as quietly as he could, his creation stumbled with loud thuds. Mister Handsome oscillated between walking up right and crawling on all fours trying to figure out which was more comfortable. It was endearing, Lex thought.

 

Lex patted the floor, the bar stools at the kitchen bench seemed too tricky for him, Mister Handsome scurried over sitting down. Really it was quite impressive he learned so fast. 

 

Lex left him there while he rummaged around the pantry looking for oatmeal. It seemed the safest option for something based on a human. The staff had major holidays off so he couldn’t ask anyone to make it for him. Not that, Lex would have anyway. Mister Handsome’s unique appearance would frighten dull minds. He was currently working on an explanation as to why he should be allowed to keep Mister Handsome for Miriam. So far Lex had devised faking text exchanges indicating an affair between Miriam and Steve, threatening to send them to his father unless Mister Handsome stayed. 

 

He heard a thud. 

 

Lex stuck his head out. He could see the pointed top of Mister Handsome’s head sticking out over the kitchen island. The resemblance to a shark’s fin made him laugh. Lex went back to making the meal. It wasn’t something he did very often. He did quick mental math for how long it would take to cook the portion he had. 

 

A series of thuds rang out.

 

Lex rushed out of the pantry, Mister Handsome was gone. Panicked, he frantically ran around the first floor. Laundry, garage, dining room, there was no sign of his beloved monster. Miriam could not find him first. He looked in the lounge room and nearly ran past it before what he saw registered. 

 

Lit by Christmas tree lights, the room was revealed in flashes. A stack of professionally wrapped presents under the tree none of the Luthor family had touched. Mister Handsome was crouched focusing (inquisitively? threateningly?) on something ahead of him. Following his gaze Lex saw Lena. Sitting up, legs  on the floor staring dead at Mister Handsome mouth hanging open. 

 

Mister Handsome inched closer.

 

“Don’t!” Lex called out.

 

It was too late. Mister Handsome pounced upon her and… rubbed his head against Lena’s shoulder. She giggled, scratching his scalp affectionately. 

 

Lex slumped in relief. 

 

Then he came to his senses. He stormed over to his sister who was happily playing with his creation. “What are you doing?” Lex hissed. “You’re not supposed to be up and you’re definitely not supposed to be out of your chair.” 

 

Last year, on the summer holidays Miriam had taken them both to the Museum of Modern Art New York. When they stopped in front of Andrew Wyeth’s Christina’s World, Lex took upon himself to tell Lena about the subject of the painting. How Anna Christine Olson crawled around her family’s farm instead of using a wheelchair. He’d regretted it ever since. 

 

Lex knelt down, pushing up her plaid pyjama pant legs to check her knees. Luckily there were no signs of injury, he pulled them back down. 

 

“You’re up.” She said accusingly, levelling him with a glare. “I wanted to see what you were doing. What is this?” 

 

“Well, you’ve seen it.” He picked her up, Mister Handsome watching curiously. “Time for bed.” 

 

She dug her fingers hard into his arm. “Put me down or I’m gonna scream.” 

 

Lex scoffed. “You’re not going to do that, you’d get in trouble too.” 

 

But Lena did not look like she was about to back down, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth. He slammed his hand over her mouth. “Alright! What do you want?” 

 

Lex peeled his hand off, his sister smirked unbecomingly. “I want a bowl of ice cream, I want to hang out with you and your weird thing.” 

 

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. Done. I’ll get the analogue chair.”

 

The three of them end up on the couch watching The Iron Giant, bowls of chocolate ice cream in hand. Mister Handsome hasn’t learned the finesse needed to properly use a spoon so he just sticks his whole face in the bowl. 

 

“Why’s he look like that?” Lena asked from the other side of the creature. 

 

“One of science's little miracles, I suppose. There’s a certain charm to his appearance.” Lex noted, taking a bite of ice cream.

 

She nodded. “He looks like a gummy skeleton. Why’d you make him?” 

 

“Oh, you know, just to see if I could.” He answered nonchalantly.

 

 

“What’s his name?” 

 

 

“Mister Handsome.” 

 

 

Lena frowned sceptically, craning her neck out to look at his lower half. “Mister?”

 

Lex flicked her forehead. “Don’t be gross.”  

 

She went quiet for a minute. Lex assumed the conversation was over and she wanted to go back to watching the movie. “Did you make him cause you don’t like me?”

 

Shocked, Lex leaned forward past Mister Handsome to get a better look at her. There were no signs outwardly that she was upset, she stayed sitting calmly looking off at the tv neutrally. “Why would you think that?” 

 

She shrugged. 

 

 

Lex Luthor was struck by a feeling he did not experience often. Guilt. “Lena… I know I can be- this world is filled with belligerent ignorant assholes and it makes me very very angry.” 

 

Lena gave a soft chuckle at the swear. 

 

“But that has nothing to do with you, I’d never want to replace you. You’re my sister and nothing will ever change that okay?” 

 

The edges of her lips turned up in a small smile, she nodded. 

 

“Good.” Speaking so openly did not come naturally to him, hopefully they could now table this. 

 

He got up, going through the pile of Christmas presents until he found the poorly wrapped present tucked behind the tree. “Why don’t we introduce Mister Handsome to the outside world? You can try out your Christmas present.” 

 

 

Lena zipped above them, a pink blur in the air strapped onto her hoverboard. They were far enough into the garden that her delighted squeals wouldn’t wake the house. Mister Handsome’s claws sliced through the head of the snowman. He had made a mess of a whole line of snowmen before, each individualised with features like a thin twig mustache or a dead branch mullet. 

 

“Good, that’s what we want.” Its creator praised, holding his arms behind his back like a general.

 

Mister Handsome raised both arms in silent achievement. Done with the dummies he chased after the hoverboard trying fruitlessly to catch it. Following childish impulse, Lex ran after him, hooking his winter coat around one of Mister Handsome’s legs and letting his stronger progeny drag him through the snow at high speed. 

 

The three of them chased and threw snowballs at each other for so long the rising sun turned the snow golden, as they made their way back to the mansion. Small bootprints accompanied by large flat footprints. Until the little ones faded, as Mister Handsome lifted Lex putting him atop his shoulders to piggyback him home.

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

Miriam woke up earlier than she would have preferred, she had not slept well. She missed how well she used to sleep before she became a parent. Ever since Lena was born she’d slept worse. Of course, Miriam had been Lex’s stepmother for a year before that but it hadn’t been the same. It wasn’t as if she wanted it to be different but it just was. He’d already been mothered, he did not want another one and Miriam did not know what to do with him. 

 

She stepped out of bed throwing on her dressing gown. Lena always woke up early on Christmas morning, leaving her waiting up in bed made Miriam’s heart twist in her chest. She headed down the hallway to see if her daughter was awake and needed help getting in her chair. In case she wasn’t up she kept the lights out. Miriam had no idea just how much she would love her daughter until she had her. How funny, sweet and stubborn she’d be. Everyday since had been hard work and she loved every second of it.

 

And her little girl loved her brother. Who Miriam knew couldn’t help being a wound up high maintenance moody little boy. She’d make an effort to be kinder to him. Scrape. Miriam looked behind her. What was that? She waited to hear another.

 

When Miriam didn’t, she kept walking down to the bedrooms. It was hard to picture having him home but maybe she could talk to Lionel. Tell him to be a more involved parent or she would walk out. Miriam was 29 for god’s sake, she was too young and too pretty to put up with a man twice her age cheating on her. They’d signed a prenup, Miriam still had her stocks-

 

She stopped in her tracks. She could swear she heard breathing. Miriam turned, looking down the other hallway. Her back went stiff. There was a tall silhouette against the hazy black. The portions were wrong, muscles alternated between too thin and bulging. Slowly, the thing turned. Revealing a flat face, noseless, earless with no lips. Miriam’s heart pounded against her chest. This couldn’t be real. 

 

The thing started moving toward her. Its long discoloured limbs reached out toward her, its mouth hung partially open. Sharp thin teeth protruded out. There was nothing she could do now. Miriam fainted dead away. 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

Paramedics wheeled Miriam’s unconscious body down the gravel driveway on a gurney, loading her into an ambulance. Lex Luthor was sitting on a step, finishing a second bowl of ice cream. His sister dead asleep, still strapped into the hoverboard floating in the same spot. Mister Handsome stood a couple paces away trying to catch snow on his tongue. 

 

Special Agent Jeffery Michaels put his notebook away, rubbing his wrinkled eyes. “Now, Lex.” He drawled in his southern accent. “You aren’t going to do any more cloning are you? I don’t like how often I’ve had to come out to deal with the outcomes of your mad science.” 

 

Lex shook his head innocently. “No, all a big misunderstanding.” 

 

He looked unconvinced. “Alright then, well your stepmother should be back home tonight. Try not to burn the place down.” 

 

Lex calmly waved goodbye to the agent as he joined the departing FBI vans and the ambulance. Mister Handsome’s eyes caught the movement and he threw his own hand up in imitation. Lex was positive this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.