Chapter Text
Yuuji’s half-reading, half-drooling over a textbook when three quick raps at his door catch his attention and cause him to sit up. Glancing at the time—10:05PM—he blinks awake and stands from his desk.
Gotta be her, he thinks.
Sleep drains from his body as he stretches into the air, reaching towards the ceiling of his shitty studio apartment. It’s not horrible—not for the location or the price—but Nobara likes to tease him over his lack of décor and general “boy apartment” vibes, and she’s the one at the door now.
Padding his way over, he slides the chain lock out of place and unlocks the doorknob. Nobara is pushing her way through before he can even fully open the door, her perfume wafting through the air the moment she passes him, reminding him of vanilla and rose.
“Hey, Nobara,” he says, trying to stifle a yawn that threatens to creep out of him. “I thought you weren’t coming by tonight.”
Nobara removes her shoes and drops a tote bag at the door, holding a hand up in greeting. She bypasses the couch, making a beeline for his bed. On the way over, her eye catches on the open textbook lying on his desk, and she scrunches her nose.
“No way. You were actually studying before I got here?” she asks.
“I study,” he retorts, closing his door.
Nobara only humphs and falls back onto his (freshly made, by the way) bed with a small huff.
Yuuji walks over to his study setup, which consists of an open textbook, a notebook with more doodles than notes, and a (now cold) cup of coffee. He had some music playing at one point, but then he quickly learned that he tends to get more distracted singing along than actually reading.
All in all, it’s a sad sight.
It’s the Friday before a long weekend, and he’s spending it studying alone in his room with yesterday’s left overs; all because his Law and Ethics professor decided that it would be fun to schedule an exam for the Tuesday when they come back to school.
“What the hell are you doing, Yuuji?” Nobara asks, pulling his attention back to her. She’s on her side, her head propped up in her palm, and she’s looking at him with her lip curled. Like she’s disgusted.
“What do you think I’m doing?” he answers, gesturing to his desk. “I’m studying.”
She rolls her eyes. “And you’re not coming with me, why?”
“I already told you that I couldn’t go with you to Todo’s party,” Yuuji sighs. “I wish I could, but this law shit is confusing, and the professor is a hard-ass.”
Believe him. He wishes it could be different.
“But you have a whole weekend, and all I’m asking for is one night,” she pleads. “Can’t you study the rest of the weekend?”
He gives her a look that’s something between really? and this is already hard enough. He hopes that it translates well. He wants to be at that party. Todo practically tackled him over it, booming and raving about how fun it was going to be. If it wasn’t for this exam, he would be there in a heartbeat.
“I want to, man. Trust me. I do,” he groans. “I’m one court case reference away from throwing the book or myself—or both—out the window. But none of it’s clicking, and I feel like I need to go back through the whole lesson plan.”
“Then just take a break and come with me for a few hours—”
Yuuji looks at her, deadpan.
“—One hour.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, Nobara. I’m surprised you’re not there already with Maki and the others. I didn’t think you’d show up at my place.”
“It’s not the same without you there, and you know it,” she says, clicking her tongue. “The others are getting ready, and I brought my stuff over here to keep you company and get ready.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to, dumbass.”
Nobara slides off the bed, her arms crossed. She walks up to Yuuji, staring up at him with her wide, amber eyes. She’s almost got him; she knows that she does. Really, it doesn’t take a lot to convince Yuuji to go out, especially not from her. One phone call and I don’t wanna be at the bars alone tonight, so you should come with, and he’s there in a heartbeat.
Still, he has to try to remain responsible. That’s what he needs to do. His grandfather would be on his ass if his grades tanked, and he doesn’t like the idea of disappointing the old man either.
“I don’t know, Nobara,” he tries, letting his hands drop to his sides. “What if I’m not in a party mood?”
She laughs in his face.
Okay, yeah. Fair point. He should probably try harder than that.
“I really want to go, but I need to stay in and work on this,” Yuuji insists.
All Nobara does is raise an eyebrow. “Even though Megumi’s going?”
Yuuji’s gaze finds Nobara’s in an instant, and he knows he’s gone. The look in her eye is mischievous. Knowing. A glint of fire that says hook, line, and sinker.
Playing the Megumi card. That’s low.
“Since when does Megumi go to parties?” Yuuji asks, a bit sceptical, trying to sound tough but ultimately failing.
“Since I told him you were going,” she shrugs.
A small scoff escapes him, and he shakes his head, smiling. “Of course, you did.”
“Come on,” Nobara begs, reaching for his hand. She tugs for good measure. “Don’t be so lame, Itadori Yuuji. It’s already ten.”
Yuuji breathes out a long sigh, looking down at his hand in Nobara’s. He’s just lost the game, and she is well aware of it. There’s a glint in her eye—a shine that tells him that she’s just ready for him to say it.
“All right,” he finally lets out.
Nobara cheers, bouncing and reaching up to hug him. Her arms wrap around his neck, and he hugs her back, smiling.
When she pulls away, she’s beaming brighter than the sun and heads for the bag she left at his door. “We’re getting ready, ASAP. The others are going to meet us there.”
Yuuji folds the corner of the page he was reading and closes his textbook, letting the cover fall shut with a solid thud. It’s a big fucking book. Meanwhile, Nobara is sitting in front of the mirror that hangs on his wall—a gift from her to him, because she hates getting ready in his bathroom. Oftentimes, when they plan to go out, she sits on the floor next to the couch and does her makeup in that mirror while he uses the bathroom to get ready.
“What are you wearing?” he asks, walking over to his closet. “I know you’re not wearing that t-shirt and sweats.”
“Hell, no,” she says, scowling at him through the mirror. “I brought a cute dress.” Then she turns to look at him, a mascara wand in hand. She sees him rifling through his clothes, and adds, “You should wear something nicer than what you’re wearing, too.”
Yuuji looks down at his basketball shorts and hoodie. “What’s wrong with what I have on?”
Nobara only rolls her eyes and turns back to the mirror.
When they’re dressed and ready to go, he finds himself in jeans and a plain t-shirt that Nobara says does a good job of showing off his arms. All he does is shrug, mumbling, “Good enough for me.”
Meanwhile, Nobara is in full party mode. She has on a pair of nice trainers, sleek and white, that pair well with the dress she’s wearing. It looks more casual than the other dresses he’s seen her wear, and it gives her a fun summer vibe. Her makeup is much nicer though, and that’s something that Yuuji notices right away.
Usually, when they go out, she’ll put in effort, but tonight, it’s the full effect. She’s got someone she wants to impress.
“You look nice,” he comments, grabbing a jacket off the back of his door.
She smiles and raises a shoulder to her ear. “Have to.”
“You don’t have to,” Yuuji says as he opens the door for her. “Maki’s going to think you look nice either way.”
“It’s the principle of the matter,” she argues, stepping through.
They walk through the streets together, talking about school and not-school. There’s a soft chill in the air as August comes to an end. Yuuji can’t see any stars—not this close to the metro, but the moon is high in the sky and bright and big. It reflects across apartment building windows and offices. Cool light mixes with the warm streetlamps that illuminate their path forward.
A breeze passes over both of them that causes Nobara to shiver, and Yuuji gives her his jacket to wear for the rest of the walk. Todo’s place isn’t too far from Yuuji’s, but it is on the other side of campus. Getting there is never that bad, but Nobara tends to sacrifice her warmth for her outfits, so he’s long since learned that it’s best he brings a jacket for her. Just in case.
As they walk, Nobara fills him in on the… whatever it’s called that is Nobara and Maki. They’re together… sort of… and no one really knows when it’ll go further than that. It’s been that way since they graduated high school. A sort of in-between thing where it’s clear that they have feelings for one another, but it’s hard to tell when it’ll go somewhere.
Yuuji figures he can relate to that.
When they make it to Todo’s house, the place is already vibrating with music and moving bodies. It’s a blur, the crowd, as people push and shove and grind on one another. Flashing lights pour out of the windows and the open door that leads to the porch, changing colours and moving with the shadows of dancing figures.
Yuuji can already feel his heart racing as the life comes back to him. There’s laughter all around him, and Todo’s surround sound system is blasting with upbeat songs, complete with a bass that he can feel in his soul. Nobara sheds his jacket, fixing her hair, and quickens her pace, and Yuuji is right there behind her.
He was literally going to miss this in favour of hunching over his notes for a class that isn’t even part of his major? What the hell was he thinking?
“I think the rest of them are already inside,” Nobara yells, grabbing his hand.
Yuuji lets her lead the way through the people standing on the porch, smoking and chatting. They pass through the front door into the packed living room, where the couches have been shoved to the wall to create a makeshift dancefloor and the TV has some random game on that no one’s paying attention to. The overhead lights are off, but there’s a lot of LED and secondary lights. It’s a little disorienting at first, but Yuuji thrives in this, with people, laughing and dancing and drinking.
Nobara continues to make her way through the living room towards the kitchen. There’s already one of those massive coolers with the little spouts. The lid’s off, showcasing a bright red liquid inside with a bunch of floating fruit. It reeks of vodka and who-knows-what else, and it looks like a great time. Plastic cups line the counter all around it, and a single open marker sits next to an unopened stack.
There’s already someone that Yuuji doesn’t recognise pouring shots, and when he asks if he and Nobara want to join, is he supposed to say no? They take the shot together, cheering as the liquid burns down their throats. Yuuji smiles, pushing his hair back, and suggests another round.
Three shots later, Yuuji has a bottle of water in his hand, and Nobara has a makeshift amaretto sour in hers. They stumble through the party together as the alcohol slowly settles in their stomachs. It’s not enough to get them drunk, but it’s a great start to the night. Man, he really needed this.
Yuuji looks through the living room for their friends, Nobara clinging to his side so as not to lose him in the crowd. People are dancing, smiling, and talking with one another. Yuuji sees a few familiar faces and stops to chat for a bit, but he and Nobara are still on a mission to locate the rest of their friend group, so they don’t stick around for too long.
They move out of the kitchen and through the backdoor, stepping out into the yard. It’s a nice open space, complete with a campfire and several chairs spread throughout. Todo also installed a volleyball net, and Yuuji can already see several people tossing a ball back and forth. It’s pretty easy to tell that this is the place to be on campus when it comes to a party. Todo and several of his friends rent this house together, and they’ve turned it into something that the average university student can only dream of.
Originally, when he was first looking to rent, Todo had asked Yuuji if he wanted in on the fun, but Yuuji had to decline, considering his grandfather was paying for his studio. He’s lucky for something like that, and he does love his apartment—despite Nobara’s teasing—so he gets to admire the place from afar.
Enjoy the parties and not have to worry about the cleanup.
They’re always a rager. Todo could try to throw something small, but they always turn into this. It’s part of the reason why Yuuji’s so surprised that Megumi is here. Allegedly. He hates these kinds of things, and he only comes out on a special occasion (better known as pleading and begging on Nobara and Yuuji’s part). So far, he’s a no-show, but Nobara’s never had to resort to lying to get Yuuji to come out with her. Still, he can’t put it past her quite yet.
He finds his answer when he and Nobara round the net, walking up to the campfire. She was telling the truth, it seems, because there he is, sitting in a warm, golden glow, and he just about knocks Yuuji’s breath away.
See, the thing with Megumi is that he’s gorgeous. Like. Drop dead gorgeous. Like stop on the street where you’re walking and stare for a moment gorgeous. He’s tall and elegant, moving through the world with a purpose like no other, like he knows where he’s going at all times. Sure of himself. Even sitting there in the campfire light, he’s radiant.
Megumi sits on the grass next to Maki, picking at the blades absentmindedly with one hand, lazily drinking a beer in the other. His side profile is illuminated by the fire. The sharp slant of his nose, the curve of his jaw, the restless, messy way that his dark hair falls over his eyes. That’s probably Yuuji’s favourite thing about Megumi—his eyes. They’re a sharp green. Like fresh cut grass or leaves in the summer, and when Yuuji looks into his eyes, all he can think about is how lucky he is to be his best friend.
Currently, they’re so warm. Everything about him is warm, thanks to the light, and Yuuji’s never been more captivated. See, the thing is that Yuuji and Megumi have known each other since they were in junior high, and they’ve always been close, but ever since high school…
It’s just been… Different.
Yuuji doesn’t know when it started, doesn’t know when his love for his friend grew into something more, but it’s been the subject of many late-night talks with Nobara, and he’s pretty sure that it’s not going to let up any time soon. Not that he wants it to. He’s pretty sure that it simply won’t be anyone else. Maybe ever. Yuuji’s been with people, yes, but it’s never been anything serious. It’s awful of him. It’s lonely. He wants to be a good partner, but he can never find himself in anything more than a fling or two, and it’s probably because he can’t help but think about his best friend every time.
And then there’s Megumi.
He’s never been with anyone. Well, he has, but it was a long time ago—way back in high school with a boy whose name escapes Yuuji now. There hasn’t been another since—not that he’s aware of—and Megumi never expresses interest in, well, anyone, so he has to wonder if his feelings are only leading him to a dead end.
But it’s okay, he tells himself. Because it’s Megumi. Because it’s his best friend. Yuuji is perfectly content where he sits now, as Megumi’s friend. The person he gravitates to at a party. The person he calls when he can’t sleep. Whatever it is that they are, it’s important to both of them, and Yuuji isn’t about to mess that up.
“Finally, we made it!” Nobara beams, her grip from Yuuji loosening as she plants herself on the ground next to Maki. “We were looking for you guys.”
“Sorry, we forgot to mention we were outside,” Maki says. She shifts so she can lean more into Nobara than she was before, and Yuuji can practically see Nobara’s face flushing in the firelight. “I’m surprised you got Yuuji to come out. He was adamant that he’d be studying.”
“I was,” Yuuji corrects. “Nobara practically invaded my apartment the moment the door was unlocked.”
“Never would have thought you’d turn down a party to study anyway,” Maki quips. “Megumi rubbing off on you?”
“Shut up, Maki,” Megumi cuts in, sending a sharp glare her way. When he turns back to Yuuji, however, his gaze softens, and all he says is, “Hey.”
Yuuji smiles, taking a seat next to him. “Hey, Megumi.” The shots and lack of a decent meal are starting to kick in, and he lands not-so-gracefully on the grass, with Megumi reaching out to steady him.
“You look like you’ve had more than water,” he notes, nodding towards the bottle in Yuuji’s hand.
Up close, Yuuji can see that Megumi’s in a similar boat—hooded eyes, flushed cheeks, and his breath smells like good times and bad thoughts.
“Nobara and I took three shots inside,” Yuuji replies with a half-grin. “Grabbed a bottle of water because I knew one of us would need it.”
Megumi hums, slowly taking it from his hands. His eyes never once falter, staying locked onto Yuuji, and he replaces the bottle with his own drink. Yuuji quickly notices that it’s his favourite beer. Did Megumi buy that just for him?
“That’s better,” Megumi whispers, the edges of his mouth curving up into a handsome smirk.
Oh, those shots are working overtime now. Must be all the blood rushing through Yuuji’s racing heart, staring at his best friend, who he’s hopelessly and foolishly in love with. He’s tipsy, he can feel it, but staring into Megumi’s eyes like this, he could be drunk, too.
“I don’t wanna steal your drink,” Yuuji says. His voice is low and rougher than he means for it to be, but Megumi either doesn’t notice or doesn’t mind.
Then, either Yuuji is hallucinating on alcohol (which brings up a concern that he should definitely address), or Megumi leans in. He actually leans in, and he flashes another handsome smirk that would have Yuuji weak in the knees if he were standing and murmurs, “Keep it. It’s yours now.”
And all Yuuji can do is nod, raise the bottle to his lips, and take a slow, desperate sip.
Their eyes never look away.
If Yuuji lets himself pretend, he’d taste the beer on his tongue and pretend that it’s Megumi. It’s a light beer, sweet and wheat-y. In aftertaste, it’s more earthy. Like pine and forests. Like the forests in Megumi’s eyes. Megumi was just drinking this beer. His lips touched this bottle, too.
If Yuuji lets himself pretend…
“Oi, you two,” Nobara calls.
And the spell is broken.
Megumi leans back onto his hands, his gaze lingering on Yuuji for just a moment longer before he turns to their two friends. “What is it?”
“Itadori Yuuji!”
Yuuji looks just past Nobara and sees the tall, imposing figure that is Todo Aoi. He towers over them, hands on his hips, his shirt conveniently missing as the light dances across his muscles. Todo beams at him, his smile spreading across his face like it’s meant to cut in two.
“Todo, what’s up!” Yuuji smiles and starts to stand. Todo meets him, clapping a hand on his back and earning a sharp oof! “Thanks for inviting me.”
“I thought you weren’t going to come,” Todo says as he wraps Yuuji into a bear hug.
Yuuji can feel his lungs compressing, and he tries to smile down at Megumi apologetically, feeling bad that they got interrupted from… Whatever they were doing.
“Nobara got me out of the apartment,” he breathes. His voice is strained, and Todo takes that as a sign to let go.
“Kugisaki Nobara, you are one hell of a woman,” Todo praises, hitting his chest with his fists two times out of respect.
“I know that,” she replies casually, flipping her hair. “Come on. Let’s get some more to drink.”
When Nobara tries to stand, she stumbles a bit, and Maki reaches up with both hands to grab her waist and steady her. Yuuji watches, sure that Nobara is internally freaking right now, and decides he wants to see more of this unfold.
“Sure, let’s do it,” he says.
Turning back to Megumi, he reaches out, offering his hand to help him stand. Megumi looks up at him, with his eyes reflecting the fire and the moon in the sky. His pupils are huge, nearly swallowing his irises whole, and all Yuuji can do is stare back into them. Maybe he can see himself in there, looking about as desperate as he feels.
Eventually, Megumi shrugs and takes his hand, and it’s pathetic how just that small amount of contact can have Yuuji’s mind going crazy. Megumi’s hands are strong but gentle. Yuuji’s thumb lands just over his knuckles, and he almost wants to run it over them, to feel his hands in his own. Long fingers, peeking veins, and a solid grip. Megumi plus Yuuji on alcohol is not a good mix.
Everyone makes their way inside, with Nobara leading the way back to the kitchen. It’s still packed as ever, and the music is blasting through the speakers. People part for them though, for the host—a gorilla of a man. Someone that you can’t miss in a crowd. Todo nods in passing to everyone saying hi, and they reach the drink station in no time.
Nobara is already pouring another amaretto sour, and Maki is getting together a round of shot glasses. Megumi stays glued to Yuuji’s side. They’re not holding hands, but Yuuji can feel their pinkies brushing against one another, and he almost wants to link them to let him know that he’s there.
This is the part of a party that Megumi never likes. He prefers to be the wallflower and stick to the outer circles. Sitting at the campfire with a beer in hand is the Megumi that Yuuji knows, and Yuuji—while more of a social butterfly—would choose to stick with Megumi at any party. Any time.
“One for you,” Maki says, placing a shot glass in his hand. She then holds one out to Megumi. “One for the cousin.”
Megumi takes it without a word, his expression neutral. Once the shots are distributed, Todo yells out something incomprehensible, and they all push their glasses together before taking the shot. Yuuji feels his nose scrunching, and the liquor feels like fire all the way down to his stomach. He still has Megumi’s beer in hand, and he uses it as a chaser.
“You want?” he holds the drink out to Megumi.
Megumi nods, a scowl on his face, and he takes a swig to wash away the taste of vodka.
The night carries on.
Yuuji loses track of time, laughing with his friends and talking to them about the rest of the semester. He, Nobara, and Megumi are going to be entering their fourth year of university soon, and Maki and Todo are graduating once this year is up. It’s strange to think about. How it’s nearly over. Yuuji and Megumi have been friends since junior high, and he’s known Maki for just as long, considering that they’re cousins. Then they all met Nobara in high school, and it was Maki’s twin sister who introduced them to Todo.
Speaking of…
“Hey, where’s your sister?” Yuuji asks. He has to yell it actually, over the loud music that carries throughout each room.
They’re sitting on the floor of Todo’s bedroom around a deck of cards, since it was someone’s bright idea to play a drinking game. Yuuji isn’t even sure what they’re playing, and there’s about five other people in the circle with him and his friends, but he’s got a fresh beer in one hand, while everyone else has their own drink of choice. Megumi is still next to him, not saying much, but every now and then, Yuuji can feel his eyes on the back of his head.
“She’s being boring like you were,” Maki yells back. “She had a paper due at midnight. Said she might show up if she finishes it in time.”
Yuuji nods and turns back to the card game. It’s something having to do with a can of beer. A bunch of cards are spread out in a circle around it, and there are other cards getting shoved underneath the tab. There’s a rule system that he’s not entirely familiar with, and he ends up drinking a lot more than he probably should. At one point, he asks Nobara what the game is, and she just shrugs and says it was Yuuta’s idea. Must be a study abroad thing.
When it’s his turn, he draws a two of spades.
“You get to pick two people to drink,” Nobara says. Her words are a little slurred, and she’s leaning against Maki, who has her arm draped around her waist. Yuuji can see her thumb tracing circles over her hip, and when he gives her a look, Maki simply shoots back with a smirk.
Two people, huh.
Yuuji looks more closely at who’s in the circle with him. He’s sitting next to Megumi and Maki. Nobara is on the other side of Maki, next to some guy he doesn’t know. Then there’s Yuuta and Toge, Todo is next to him, and two other people that he doesn’t know close the circle.
He thinks. “Megumi and Yuuta, drink.”
Yuuta, because he almost never drinks, and it’s fun when he does, because he turns into a completely different person. Megumi, because he also never drinks, and Yuuji can’t lie and say that he doesn’t like seeing him have fun outside of his comfort zone every once in a while.
Yuuji discards his card under the beer tab, and for just a moment, he thinks it’s going to crack.
Now, it’s Megumi’s turn.
“Six,” he says, holding up the six of hearts.
“Six is dicks!” Todo laughs, taking a swig of his drink.
The rest of the men follow, and when Megumi reaches over to discard his card, the familiar pop of the tab being broken is heard louder than any music. Megumi freezes, his hand still on his card, while everyone else starts laughing.
“Ooh, Megumi, this means you have to drink the beer!” Nobara cheers, reaching to clear away all of the cards.
“You have to shotgun it actually,” Yuuta corrects.
Megumi’s face immediately scrunches as he looks at the beer. “No way. This is a shit brand. I’m not shotgunning that.”
“Come on, don’t be a party pooper,” Nobara scoffs. “Drink up! You broke the seal.”
“Absolutely not,” he says. “Someone else can go for it.”
“Give me the beer. I’ll shotgun it,” Yuuji offers, reaching out.
Nobara and Megumi both turn to him. Megumi looks a little surprised, taken aback to see anyone offering to shotgun this beer. Nobara, however…
Yuuji’s pretty sure she’s looking into his soul.
“Will you now?” she asks. Her tone is dangerous and teasing as a sly smile creeps onto her face. Her cheeks are still flushed, and she’s talking like she’s too far gone, but everything in her eyes is telling Yuuji that she is all here for this. “I’m pretty sure Megumi can handle a little bit of cheap beer.”
Yuuji shrugs, trying to play it off like he’s just being a good friend. “Yeah, but he says he doesn’t want to. I’ll do it. Beer is beer.”
She hums, eyeing him, then looks back at Megumi. “You’re a lucky one, you know that?”
When Yuuji looks at Megumi, all he can see is a faint blush, but it’s hard to tell if it’s from the alcohol or something different. Her words still seem to hit him hard though, and he clenches his jaw before saying, “I know.”
What did that mean? Yuuji’s mind is too muddy to try and figure it out.
But he takes the beer without another word. Megumi is looking at him, staring at him, as he raises the can to his lips and starts to chug. The first thing he thinks is that it is shit beer. It tastes cheap, it’s bitter, and the carbonation makes it hard to swallow. Still, Yuuji finishes it off in one go, exhaling through his mouth when he’s done as he crushes the can and tosses it to the bin by the door.
People are starting to file out, and Todo’s gone to check on the rest of the house. Yuuji’s not sure when it became just him, Nobara, Maki, and Megumi, but the four of them sit on the floor of Todo’s bedroom, and it feels like the world is spinning.
Somewhere along the way, the cards get put up, and they sit there, talking about anything and everything. Yuuji’s short term memory is starting to go in and out. He sees things in flashes, like he’s living in a memory. He can feel the bass of the music through the floorboards, and it hums in his chest. It’s a weird feeling, but it’s a good one, too.
He’s still next to Megumi, and Megumi is still next to him. Nobara and Maki are practically lying on top of one another, looking up at the ceiling as they talk. Yuuji thinks that maybe he should lay back, too. Stare up at the ceiling with his friends. If he did, would Megumi lay with him?
“Hey, Megumi,” Nobara says, raising her head to look at him.
Megumi hums.
“Why didn’t you want to drink that beer?” she asks.
Megumi’s brows pinch, and a small scowl forms on his face. “I just didn’t want it. I hate that brand, and I’m drunk enough as is.”
“Yeah, but you should live a little,” Nobara presses. She sits up, leaning forward to look at him. Her hair is a bit of a mess, swept across her forehead from where she was laying down. She doesn’t care though, looking directly at Megumi. “It was part of the party game.”
“I don’t see why it’s that big of a deal,” he shrugs. “I could have another, if I wanted.”
“No, but that’s not the point,” she groans. Turning to Maki, she taps her leg, who grunts in reply. “Do you get what I’m saying?”
“Nobara, I’m almost asleep right now,” Maki mumbles.
Nobara rolls her eyes and turns back to Yuuji and Megumi. “You need to live and have fun, Megumi. You gotta loosen up more.”
“What do you call this?” he asks, gesturing all around him. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“This—” she mocks his gesture, “is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You never come out with us.”
“Yeah, but I’m here. I don’t understand what your point is.”
Up until this point, Yuuji had been half-listening to the conversation. The other half of him was elsewhere, sitting next to Megumi, focused on the contact of their arms from where they were still pressed up against one another, despite the fact that they had the whole room to themselves.
“Are you getting any?”
Nobara’s question snaps his attention like a slap to the face. His head raises, and he looks at her with a type of horror that he has no way to hide behind his drunken mask. Why the hell would she ask him that?
“What the fuck, Nobara?” Megumi asks, sighing as he shakes his head. “Can’t you mind your business?”
And all Yuuji can think is that’s not a no, that’s not a no, that’s not a no.
“Me? Never,” Nobara shoots back. She shifts in place, sitting on her knees with her hands resting over her thighs. She’s looking at Megumi like it’s the most serious question in the world. “You’re painfully single, Fushiguro Megumi. You never have any fun unless we drag you out of your apartment, so I have to know—are you at least fucking somebody?”
“You don’t have to know anything, Nobara,” Megumi bites back. The edges of his voice curl with irritation, and Yuuji finds himself between wanting to defend him and wanting to know the answer himself. “I enjoy my time alone more than the rest of you do. What’s wrong with that?”
“So, you haven’t been with anyone since—”
Megumi shoots her a glare.
“Listen,” she says, holding her arms up in mock surrender. “All I’m saying is that we’re over halfway through university. You should either kiss someone or get laid. At least once.”
“I don’t care about any of that,” he replies plainly.
“See, you say that, but come on, Megumi,” Nobara presses. “We’re in college. Unless you’re ace or something, then I’ll totally back off.”
He gives a deadpan look. “I’m not ace, Nobara. There’s just not anyone I’m interested in.”
“Anyone?” she repeats. “Anyone at all?”
For half of a second, Megumi catches Yuuji’s gaze.
“No.”
Nobara groans and falls back onto the floor next to Maki, clearly giving up. Or, at the very least, for now. Yuuji isn’t sure what to say. Megumi isn’t interested in anyone, and he hasn’t been with another person since his ex. Did that mean he still had feelings, or…?
“Okay, wait,” Nobara sits up.
Well, that didn’t last long.
Megumi sighs.
“You should at least kiss someone,” she says.
Yuuji swears his heart stops. He hasn’t been contributing much to the conversation (literally nothing, actually), but he hates the idea of Megumi kissing someone else. That’s not something he wants to see or even think about. Nobara is suggesting it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but Yuuji is too drunk to silently tell her that this is a terrible idea.
“Why the hell would I do that?” Megumi asks.
“To do it,” Nobara shrugs. “At least once, Megumi. We’re at a party, for God’s sake. Just kiss someone.”
Absolutely not. Yuuji doesn’t think he’ll survive the night if Megumi just goes downstairs and kisses some random person. He’s not coordinated enough to object without spilling his feelings out onto the floor, but he hates it. He hates it entirely.
“No.”
“You’re pan. Just kiss me or Yuuji— actually, no. Don’t kiss me.”
Then Yuuji’s brain is stalling. As if it hasn’t been this entire conversation. Nobara is telling Megumi to kiss Yuuji? For the hell of it? What if Megumi says no? What if he says yes? Megumi clearly isn’t interested in dating, but if he gave him this one chance, would Yuuji be able to take it?
“No.”
Okay, that hurt.
Yuuji looks back and forth between his two friends, and it seems like Maki is dead asleep through the entire conversation. Megumi is clearly very drunk, and he sways even sitting down. Nobara isn’t doing that much better. She always gets more assertive and… less inhibited when she’s drinking, and that’s clear from the conversation she’s trying to have right now. It’s not like Yuuji can say he’s doing much better. His head is fuzzy, and his stomach feels heavy. Everything moves in a blurry, slow-motion sort of way, and he’s afraid to open his mouth, worried that he’ll spill every thought he has on the matter right there to them both.
Nobara gives Megumi a look. “What, you don’t want to kiss Yuuji?” She moves closer and grabs Yuuji by the chin. “Look at that face.”
Yeah, Yuuji is definitely way too drunk to be a part of this conversation. He’s looking directly into Megumi’s eyes, and all he can think is please kiss me. Please, please, please, and he’s pretty sure that he’s not doing a good job at hiding it.
“Kissing him isn’t going to change anything,” Megumi argues.
Oh, it could change everything. Yuuji’s pretty sure if Megumi kisses him, he’ll never be able to kiss another person again. There would be no point. No one’s lips could compare to Megumi’s. They wouldn’t even stand a chance. No taste, no gasp, no slide of tongue could even come close to what it would be like to kiss Fushiguro Megumi.
“It would make you significantly less boring,” she quips. “And then you can say that you’ve kissed more than—”
“Nobara.”
“It’s been years, Megumi,” Nobara stresses. “Aren’t you over him?”
Megumi rolls his eyes. “Of course, I’m over him, and I’ve been over him. I just don’t see how kissing Yuuji—or anyone, for that matter—changes the fact that I’m still going to be single when it’s over.”
The fact that this is even a discussion is melting Yuuji’s brain. Nobara is still holding onto his chin like she’s forgotten about it, and he’s still locked into Megumi’s gaze like he’s trapped in a spotlight. Megumi is right there, in front of him, talking about kissing him, and—okay, he’s rejecting, but still.
Nobara groans. “That’s just college, baby! People kiss and fuck, and they’re still single after. You just need to loosen up and live your life a little. Drink a shitty bear and kiss a random person. It doesn’t matter, Megumi. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
Then Megumi does something unexpected.
Well, okay, first, he rolls his eyes, and that’s a totally Megumi thing to do, but then he does something unexpected. He reaches forward and pries Nobara’s hand from Yuuji’s chin. His eyes are staring right at Yuuji, wide and dilated and green. Both hands come up, cupping either side of his face, and that’s when it registers that Megumi is close.
He’s really close.
“I really hate you, Nobara,” he says, but he’s not looking at her. He’s looking directly at Yuuji.
“Uh huh,” is all Nobara says, and then she’s dragging Maki from the room.
Yuuji is stuck frozen there, staring at Megumi like a deer in headlights. He doesn’t know what to say, and his brain is moving entirely too slow for his liking. Megumi is still there—right there—and Yuuji can feel his breath fanning across his face. Megumi’s hands are warm. Soft. Absentmindedly, his thumb brushes just under Yuuji’s eye, and it takes everything in him not to shiver from the touch.
“Um…” Yuuji swallows. “Megumi—”
“Shut up,” Megumi says, and then he kisses him.
Somewhere, in the back of Yuuji’s mind, he hears the door shutting as Nobara finally leaves. That barely matters though, because the soft press of Megumi’s lips is all that Yuuji can really focus on. His mind sort of blanks, and all he’s left with is the searing touch of Megumi all around him.
He stalls for just a moment, stiff and unmoving, but then his eyes flutter shut, and he leans further forward, and Megumi—God dammit—he sighs.
“Fuck,” Yuuji hisses against his lips.
He surges forward, his hands flying to Megumi in an instant. The kiss immediately changes, and there’s a charge in the air, a shift all around them. Yuuji’s hands find themselves tangled in the messy strands of Megumi’s hair, and they’re just as soft as he always imagined them to be. There have been times in the past when he teased Megumi, ruffled his hair, or wrapped his arm around his shoulders and brushed against it, but this is different. His fingers get lost in it all, tugging ever so slightly, eliciting a small noise from the back of Megumi’s throat that he wants to hear more of.
They move together excitedly. Passionately. It’s like they’ve been waiting for this, and—fuck—Yuuji has been. Megumi’s lips are soft and warm, and Yuuji kisses and bites and sucks on them like a man desperate for more. A part of him knows that this will never happen again, and he needs to commit the feeling of Megumi’s lips on his own to memory before he loses this chance forever.
Megumi’s hands are still cupping Yuuji’s face, anchoring him. His touch grounds him as their kiss deepens, and Yuuji tilts his head, so they fit together just right, and holy shit. Yuuji sucks in a sharp breath and presses even further forward until Megumi has to release one hand from his face to catch himself from falling back.
But their kiss doesn’t break. If anything, it feels even more desperate. Megumi moves his free hand to the back of Yuuji’s neck and slowly slides it up, over his undercut, until his fingers are tangled in the tufts of Yuuji’s pink hair. It makes Yuuji feral, and he quickly swipes his tongue over Megumi’s bottom lip, begging for a taste.
This is it, he thinks. Yuuji can never kiss another person again. Nothing is going to hold a candle to this experience. He’s kiss-drunk. And drunk-drunk. And then Megumi opens his mouth, and the slide of their tongues is enough to send the last of Yuuji’s thoughts over the edge of a cliff.
He didn’t need to kiss anyone else anyway.
They’re both panting into each other’s mouths. Yuuji’s practically on top of Megumi, his hands moving from his hair to his face, to his neck, to his arms. He can’t get enough of him. This is all he’ll ever get of him, and he’ll take whatever Megumi will allow. Fuck, he’s so lost in it all, and desire pools in the pit of his stomach.
Megumi isn’t doing much better. The grip in Yuuji’s hair is so tight that it almost hurts, but the pain mixes with the pleasure, and it only adds to Yuuji’s growing desperation. He kisses Yuuji like it’s something he’s been waiting to do. Like this kiss is the one reason why he didn’t want to drink that shit beer. Like he knew that if he had had a little bit more to drink, this could go a lot further than a heavy make-out session.
God, Yuuji can’t think straight. All he knows and feels and smells and tastes is Megumi. It’s all Megumi, Megumi, Megumi. Megumi pulls him impossibly closer, his hand sliding around his head down to his neck, until he’s practically got Yuuji in some sort of reverse chokehold. Yuuji melts into him, using one hand to steady himself on the floor and the other to hold his neck. He moves down, kissing along Megumi’s jaw, mouthing at the hot skin by his pulse point, and leaving light nibbles down the column of his neck.
Megumi’s hand slides back up into his hair, fisting it, as he lulls his head to one side and catches his breath. Yuuji runs his thumb along his jawline, trailing kisses everywhere that he can. At one point, he sucks just below his pulse, and Megumi fucking groans, and the grip in his hair tightens.
Yuuji is gone. He’s never coming back. He can never come back from this. From the feeling of Megumi’s skin, from the sounds he’s making, from the fingers in his hair. This is it for Yuuji, and it blinds him. He wants to keep chasing that feeling of desire that’s burning hot inside of him—his stomach, his heart, his mind. He can feel his heart racing, his blood pumping. It’s pumping straight south, but he’s too into this kiss to care about sporting a hard-on.
Not when Megumi is making those noises, rolling his head to one side to give Yuuji easier access to his neck. Not when he’s too drunk to tell himself that this is a bad idea, that this is his best friend, and best friends don’t kiss one another like this. Not when Megumi shifts his hips up, and they both let out a guttural moan when the fabric of their pants slide just right.
Yuuji grinds against him, a bit unwillingly, as he didn’t intend on being that shameless, but Megumi doesn’t seem to care. He pulls Yuuji closer, grinding back until they’re both panting in each other’s ears, stifling their sounds, as Yuuji kisses along his jaw.
Megumi pulls back just enough to lock their lips together once more, and that’s when a loud knock jolts them apart.
“You better both be dressed when I open this door!”
It’s Nobara, and while Yuuji is frustrated by her interruption, he also knows that they were lucky she chose to knock. If she saw them like this…
Yuuji looks over at Megumi, and his brain stalls. Megumi’s hair is all messed up—way more than it usually is. It’s tangled and jutting out in every direction, which is saying a lot because it already juts out in every direction. But add to that, his face is flushed, and his lips are swollen and shining with spit. Yuuji is sure that he looks about the same, and they’re both panting like they’ve been holding their breath the entire time.
In the silence that follows, Yuuji and Megumi just stare at one another. Shock paints both of their expressions, but beneath that feeling is primal fear and disbelief.
Did he really just do that?
Did they really just—
The door opens, and Nobara peeks her head into the room, leaning around the doorframe. One look is all it takes, and her nose scrunches.
“Get a room,” she scoffs, pulling her head back. Then, as she’s walking off, “Not Todo’s.”
They’re left sitting on the floor of Todo’s bedroom, the door hanging open, staring at each other with wide eyes. Megumi still looks gorgeous, but what’s the right move? What do you do when you kiss your best friend? Hell, they did more than that. What’s the next move?
“Do you, um,” Yuuji tries. He clears his throat. “Do you wanna get another drink?”
“God, yes,” Megumi says, a little quicker than he was expecting. He starts to stand, holding his hand out for Yuuji.
Yuuji takes it reluctantly and allows himself to be pulled up. Megumi’s grip is secure as ever, and when they’re standing side by side, he offers one of those small, rare smiles that only Yuuji ever gets to see. It’s like those brief moments just after sunset, where the sky is a deep purple before it turns to dusk. Fleeting. Beautiful. It’s a nice sight. Not just because it’s Megumi, but it also comforts Yuuji to know that they didn’t just ruin their friendship.
He hopes.
He’s sure that he’ll regret it in the morning, but for right now, he’s still riding the high of kissing the man he’s been in love with since they were teenagers. Of feeling his touch on his skin, his hands in his hair, his tongue in his mouth. Yuuji’s never going to forget about this night, and even though he’s effectively ruined every other encounter that ever follows this one, he can’t say that he regrets it.
When they join Nobara and the rest of the party, no one says a word. Yuuji spends the rest of his evening trading stolen glances with Megumi, wondering what this means for them when the sun comes up. They don’t mention it on the walk back, and they don’t go home with one another.
But even lying in the dark room of his studio apartment, Yuuji can’t help but feel butterflies in his stomach. His mouth tingles, and his heart races. Tentatively, he traces his lips with his fingers, remembering what it was like to be pressed against Megumi.
Yeah. He smiles to himself. He’s ruined it.
Yuuji kissed Megumi, and he ruined it all. Not their friendship, but his kisses.
He’s never going to be kissed like that again.