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The ER doctor had been very clear:
“No screens for more than twenty minutes at a time. No strenuous activity. Someone needs to be with him for the next twenty-four hours – wake him up every couple of hours if he falls asleep. If he gets nauseous, dizzy, or disoriented, bring him back here immediately.”
Eddie repeated every instruction back to the doctor, even though he knew exactly what the protocol was for looking after a patient with a concussion. Well, not every patient was Buck; the doctor didn’t know how lucky he was to be getting rid of him that quickly into his far-too-quick-to-agree arms.
He pushed the firefighter down the corridor and into his car, making sure that Buck didn’t manage to hit his head twice in the space of five hours.
*
“Eddie, you don’t need to babysit me,” Buck mentioned for the fourth time as Eddie helped him into his apartment and plucked him into the sofa, rummaging through the fridge to see a grand total of zilch in it, “It’s a minor concussion. You know I’ve had worse.”
“Yeah, yeah, survived lightning, yada, yada,” Eddie muttered, returning back with a glass of water for Buck and a beer for himself, “Forgive me if I don’t exactly trust your definition of fine, Buckley.”
Eddie propped himself on the free side of the couch, watching as Buck tried to think of a rebuttal as he absent-mindedly dragged his finger over the dressing hiding the stitches on the side of his temple.
“Okay, fair, but you really don’t have to stay all night. I’m sure Chris is waiting for you.”
“I do have to stay all night, and don’t worry about Chris – Hen picked him up. Now, enough fussing about others and more fussing about you. I’m staying – no debate. Doctor’s orders.
Buck tilted his head, “So you’re following orders now? Didn’t sound like it on the call.”
“Don’t push it, Buck. My bending the orders saved you from another week’s stay in the hospital. You’re lucky I managed to drag most of you from under it.”
“I know,” Buck said quietly.
Eddie was right, of course. Buck had gone in, beeline straight for the single victim left in the building, not noticing the shifting of the wall to his right. Eddie had managed to drag him out of the path of the wall, but Buck’s helmet had been clipped by a section of the collapsing wall, his unprotected head bouncing off the debris-laden floor.
At least he hadn’t blacked out during this concussion.
He made a note not to joke about that – the ER doctor didn’t appreciate the joke, and he was sure Eddie would launch into a monologue on head injuries if he did.
“Earth to Buck. I was asking, What do you want to do?”
*
By eleven, Eddie and Buck had tried their first strategy to spend the night: sleep. Eddie had set up on the armchair across from the couch, scrolling mindlessly through his phone, determined to stay awake the entire night. Buck had fussed around on the couch, but just lay there wide-eyed, staring at the ceiling.
“How many imperfections have you counted on that roof, Buck?” Eddie joked, pocketing his phone.
“Not enough. Aren’t concussions supposed to make you sleepy?”
“Buck, you seem to be the exception to many things, so I’m not surprised that’s the case here.”
“You’re not sleeping either, so it feels wrong that I am.”
“I’m not sleeping because I’m watching you.”
“Creepy,” Buck said, trying to sit up much too quickly, instantly dropping back down to the couch.
“You know you have a bed in your apartment, right?”
“I know, but… can’t be asked to move there. Sure, we can’t flick on the TV?”
“Buck, we’ve already watched some, and you said your head began to spin. We’re not trying that again. Now, if you’re not tired, what do you propose we do?”
*
Apparently, Buck’s answer was random things. Jesus, could he not give a vaguer answer?
Midnight hit, and Eddie found himself and Buck sitting around the coffee table, a half-finished game of Jenga between them. After the tower had collapsed the first time, and the noise had caused Buck to wince in pain from the sudden noise, Eddie had quickly put a stop to that.
“Why did I get put with the fun police tonight?”
“Because everyone else is busy and because I volunteered, Buck. And it helps I’m a medic too. Now, think of something else.”
Buck had directed Eddie to the packet of UNO left in the corner of the kitchen.
“It’s concussion safe,” Buck explained, “no screens, no flashing lights, no intense cardio. Just slamming cards onto the table. Totally within my babysitter’s regulations.”
Eddie said nothing but managed a small smile at the comment, ready to re-establish himself as the true champion of Uno.
By one am, Buck had gotten bored of consistently losing to Eddie’s well-placed +4s, and had proposed to move to another activity – sifting through Buck’s ‘junk boxes’.
“Do I really want to know why you have six different tape measures?” Eddie asked, holding up the sixth one.
“Sometimes you just need six, Eddie,” Buck said, “they’re different, alright. Different colours, different lengths, different vibes.”
“Vibes?” Eddie echoed, unable to keep the laugh in him.
“Yeah, like, this one is for measuring space for my couches, and this one is just for bathroom projects, and this one -” he held up a tiny one that surely wasn’t helpful in measuring anything, “I don’t even know where this one came from. Well, it’s mine now.”
“You'd better pray you never have to move Buckley. You don’t even use half this stuff?” Eddie said, pulling out a still packaged mandolin.
“Ooh, a mandolin!”
“You’re unbelievable.”
By two, Buck’s head was drooping, but his mouth took no note of that, switching topics faster than Eddie could settle into the one Buck had previously mentioned.
“You ever think about how many lives we’ve touched?” Buck asked suddenly, right after debating with Eddie on what desert would be the closest to a calzone.
Eddie blinked, “What?”
“Like, you know, every call we go on, no matter how small. Someone always remembers that we showed up. We come in at the worst times of someone’s life and try our best to help them make it to the next. We matter to so many people. Sometimes I think, if I weren’t me, you know, if I weren’t a firefighter, would I matter to someone? Would someone be there to save me, or would I end up like that man on the call today…”
Eddie’s chest tightened, and he set the mug down, all serious now, “Buck -”
“No, no, I know it’s not rational,” Buck quickly added, rubbing his temple, “It’s just my concussion talking.”
“Or it’s you,” Eddie said, recognising where Buck was coming from, “Buck, you know you matter, right? And it’s not just because you save lives. It’s because you’re you. Where’s this all coming from? I thought you had gotten past this?”
“I thought so too, Eddie, but sometimes, I don’t know… it just hits me. It’s worse now, I think. It’s, you know…”
Eddie froze for a second, remembering.
Alright, that did make a lot of sense.
“I know. Sleep?” Eddie asked, trying to steer Buck into doing something else.
*
Sleep was a failed exercise. By three in the morning, Buck had insisted on their grabbing food.
“Have you seen the state of your fridge lately? You’ve nothing to cook, unless I whip something up from leftover bacon and beer.”
“Takeout, Eddie. My treat.”
“It’s three in the morning, Buck. Look. If you’re hungry, I’ll go and cook the rest of the bacon you have in the fridge, alright? It looks like it needs to be eaten sooner rather than later anyway.”
*
By four, Buck had convinced Eddie he was alright enough to walk outside and enjoy some fresh air.
“Never realised you had a pretty decent view on the roof of your building.”
“Neither did I, but then, after the tsunami, I just wanted some peace and quiet. So I came up here to hide away. I come up here quite a lot, mostly after every shift that goes to shit.”
“So, often?” Eddie quipped, and Buck broke out into a smile.
“Often, yeah. I actually slept out here the first night I was back home after the lightning. I… I couldn’t sleep in my bed, nor my couch, but out here, just seeing the stars, it calmed me down a lot.”
*
By dawn, Buck had finally fallen asleep.
Eddie was back in the armchair, switching between scrolling through social media and taking note of Buck’s condition, making sure he was still breathing, still alive.
He’d gotten through the night without any complications, and that was already a good sign. Maddie would be popping down in just over an hour, taking over the babysitting duties.
Good. Eddie was feeling sleepy too, but there was no way he was going to crash out now – he’d made it about thirty hours without sleep now, he could do another two before he crashed at home and slept through the day, just in time to be back on shift on Wednesday.