Chapter Text
Way wakes up to an empty bed and the muffled sounds of Pete coming from the ensuite bathroom for the seventh day in a row. He frowns, walking into the spacious washroom, preparing himself to come across the same concerning sight that has unpleasantly become their morning routine throughout last week.
Like the past few days, Way finds Pete hunched over the toilet and throwing up right after waking up. Way purses his lips and walks up to Pete, kneeling down beside him. As much as it pains Way to see Pete in this state, every morning he can only feel helpless and fail to convince the older Enigma to see a doctor instead of solely depending on his heightened immunity. Way tenderly caresses his back as Pete continues to empty out the little content of his stomach from last night. By the time Pete regains some semblance of normalcy and leans against the closest wall, Way can’t help but notice how pale his mate appears. Pete’s hair sticks to his forehead, damp with sweat, so Way brushes his fringes away carefully.
Way holds Pete’s hands between his palms and says, “You need to see a doctor.”
The soft reiteration makes Pete squirm. Despite feeling queasy, he refuses, “I’ll be alright.”
“Please,” Way begs. They had ended up fighting yesterday when Way had pushed too hard to convince Pete to make an appointment with the doctor. Although he doesn’t want to go down the same road today, he still tries, “It’s just one appointment, Pete. Even if this stomach bug, or whatever it is, isn’t serious, at least we will know not to worry so much.”
Pete sighs, unable to ignore his weakness any longer. His body doesn’t even feel like his nowadays, Pete practically functioning on autopilot both at work and at home. Right now, he doubts if he can even get up from the cold floor all by himself and walk back to the bed without Way’s help.
Receiving a slow, defeated nod from him, Way lifts up Pete and helps him clean up before they can ring up their family physician.
.
.
.
Pete got accommodated in an empty slot late in the afternoon and Way drove him to the clinic. Now, as they sit in the familiar chamber, waiting for their doctor to come back with the results of the few tests he had done for Pete sometime back, Way squeezes Pete's palm to keep him from stressing too much about his health.
Even if Pete doesn't say it out loud, Way feels his nervousness through their bond. The younger Enigma tries to keep his cool, not wanting Pete to start worrying about him too. It's probably nothing too bad. After all, Pete is an Enigma. A special Enigma at that. They just need to know the correct diagnosis and then get the prescribed medications before going home and Pete should be alright in a few days.
Way's train of thoughts is interrupted by the sound of the door clicking open. Dr. Heng walks in with a bunch of paperwork in his hands and offers them a formal smile before settling down in his chair on the other side of the desk.
Pete breaks the silence without wasting a second, “There's nothing wrong in the results, right?”
Way grimaces and mouths a brief apology at the doctor, while caressing Pete's arm from over his jacket and asking him to calm down and let the professional speak. Pete sighs and regains some control over himself. No matter how much he pretends to be alright, despite his subgender, Pete can't lie that this persistent sickness has unnerved him a lot.
Once the couple settles down again, Heng supplies, “There's nothing for you to gravely worry, Khun Pete.”
The Enigmas let out relieved sighs in sync at the primary assurance.
The doctor clears his throat subtly and adds, “But there's something rather surprising.”
Way frowns at the revelation, while Pete’s shoulders droop. Heng continues, before the couple can start worrying again, “We noticed that your hormone levels are sort of…unexpected.”
“Is it some kind of hormonal imbalance then?” Way asks, not letting go of Pete’s hand.
“Definitely, Khun Way, but there’s more to it than simply hormonal imbalance. We need to run another test to be absolutely certain about it but the thing is…Khun Pete, you might be pregnant.”
“What?” Pete’s throat suddenly feels dry.
“How can that be possible? He is an Enigma, Dr. Heng,” Way points out without missing a beat, certain that there must have been a mistake.
“I know,” the doctor explains patiently, “It is extremely rare but Enigma pregnancies aren’t exactly impossible. Had Khun Pete been with someone of a different subgender, it would have still been impossible perhaps, but as he is mated to you — another Enigma — this seems like an exceptional case.”
Way gulps and turns around to look at Pete, finding his mate holding his breath with his eyes fixed on the edge of the wooden desk. Pete’s poker face makes Way squirm in his seat but before he can say something, Pete asks, “We aren’t sure yet, are we?”
Heng shakes his head, adding, “I will have to run another test before confirming anything. If you agree to go ahead with it, we will collect another sample of your blood today. But since it’s already so late now, the results won’t be available until tomorrow. Does that work for you, Khun Pete?”
The older Enigma agrees with a nod. Whatever the results might show, there’s no point in dragging it. He just needs to get through with this today. Even if certain symptoms of his align with the doctor’s hunch, Pete still holds on to the possibility of it being a misunderstanding. After all, Enigma pregnancies are rare.
Way doesn’t say much, while a nurse draws out Pete’s blood before they walk out of the clinic together. Back in their car, Way takes a moment to calm down the million thoughts running inside his head. He looks at Pete and finds him picking at his nails, head hanging low — a stark contrast to the cheerful man Way is used to.
“Are you okay, Pete?” Way asks in a whisper, reaching out to squeeze his mate’s arm.
Pete responds in his low voice as well, “Can we just go home? I…I don’t feel like talking right now.”
Way understands that this isn’t an easy moment for Pete to process. Whatever the results might reveal tomorrow, the mere possibility of suddenly being pregnant has shaken him up. Having grown up as a special Enigma under Tony Chen’s wing, Pete has experienced a lot of unexpected incidents. But none of them could have prepared him for this day. And Way himself is unsure about how to process this entire turn of events.
Way nods and starts the ignition, driving back to their apartment in silence. Even if he bristles to have some kind of substantial conversation with Pete, Way isn’t an insensitive prick. Rather he lingers around Pete for the rest of the day, wrapping him in a long cosy hug as they go to bed later that night. Way is mindful of not bringing up anything about their time at the clinic, rather choosing to press a kiss on the back of Pete’s head and only wishing him a good night. The tougher conversations can wait until they have a confirmation.
.
.
.
“Pete?” Way calls out for his mate after walking into their apartment but doesn’t receive any response from any of the rooms.
Anxiety gnaws at Way’s insides as he checks the living room and their bedroom but doesn’t find him. On his way back from the garage, Way had stopped by the clinic to collect the lab report when the receptionist informed him that Pete had already collected it by himself and even met the doctor before leaving. Way had immediately called the older Enigma but his call had ended in voicemail. Without wasting anymore time at the clinic, Way had driven back home, barely keeping himself from getting a ticket. And now that the apartment is so eerily silent, Way doesn't have a good feeling about the situation.
Way inhales sharply as he proceeds towards Pete’s home office. If he doesn’t find the older Enigma there as well, Way knows he will reach his wit’s end.
Twisting the knob and pushing open the door, Way heaves a sigh of relief at the sight before him. Pete is hunched in front of his computer, the sleek table lamp being the only source of light in the room. He doesn’t seem to notice Way’s arrival, not looking up from the monitor for once. He hasn’t even changed out of his work clothes.
Way takes a moment to organise his frazzled thoughts before moving towards his mate. As he walks round the table and reaches the revolving chair, Pete finally looks up and makes a small noise of surprise in the back of his throat.
The older Enigma’s face doesn’t give away anything about his mental state but as he breaks the silence, judging from the way Pete’s voice sounds rougher than usual, Way figures out immediately that he had had a breakdown after returning from the clinic.
“Oh! You’re back,” Pete comments flatly. He goes back to work after receiving a wordless nod from the younger.
Way holds back a sigh, reaching out to hold Pete’s shoulder. “You went to the clinic by yourself,” Way comments, trying not to sound hurt. They had agreed this morning that Way will pick up the report on his way back home because he drives past that locality while going to the garage everyday. For Pete, it implies an avoidable detour and less time being stuck in traffic. But still Pete had gone out of his way to collect the results and meet the doctor alone.
“There wasn’t much to do at the office so I decided to drop by myself,” Pete answers with a shrug, typing away something on the keyboard. He doesn’t bring up what their doctor has said or what the results show.
Way knows what Pete is trying to do and he genuinely hates it. He doesn’t want Pete to avoid having tough conversations with him. He just wants to be there for his mate in the same way as Pete is always there for him. No matter how hard Pete tries to act unbothered, Way can sense the faint undercurrent of sourness in his otherwise comforting mahogany scent.
“We need to talk, Pete,” Way tries, squeezing the older man’s shoulder lightly to gain his attention.
Pete doesn’t seem to be listening to him. He nods absent-mindedly, replying, “Let me just finish reading this report about Beyond’s new launch and then we can talk.”
“You said you weren’t busy today,” Way points out, kneeling down beside Pete’s chair and reaching for his free arm.
Pete inhales sharply and stops scrolling. He tries to make up an excuse about his secretary having sent him this report only an hour back and he needs to review it before a meeting tomorrow. But Way doesn’t buy it.
“This report can wait, Pete. Your report from the lab is more important. Your health is more important,” Way insists, reaching for Pete’s other hand and pulling it down to his lap as well. The older doesn’t resist but he doesn’t speak either, while Way clasps his palms around Pete’s. Pete looks away from the screen only to stare down at his lap, avoiding meeting Way’s inquisitive gaze at all cost.
“We need to talk, love,” Way murmurs, pulling up their hands and pressing a lingering kiss on the back of Pete’s fingers. “I know you have seen Dr. Heng. What did he say? What does the lab report say?”
Pete exhales shakily, closing his eyes at Way’s straightforward question. The storm brewing inside his chest — the one that he has been trying to avoid altogether for almost two hours now — comes back with vengeance, threatening to blow him over. His life has never felt so beyond his control the way it does right now. Not when he had run away from the only place he had ever known as his home. Not even when he had returned to Thailand with his eyes set on the sole aim of destroying Tony.
Pete pulls out his hands from Way’s grip and brings out an envelope from one of the drawers of the desk. He continues to avoid meeting Way’s eyes as he hands it over to his mate without a word.
Way holds his breath, pulling out the report from inside the envelope. As he scans the document, his eyebrows furrow in the insufficient glow of the lamp in his attempt to tally Pete’s hCG levels with the reference table for the same given alongside.
Meanwhile Pete fidgets with his fingers, speaking slowly, “Yesterday, Dr. Heng’s guess was…right. I’m pregnant, Way.”
The younger Enigma snaps his head up to look at Pete at the confirmed information. “Pete…” Way whispers, tears pooling in his eyes even before he can realise it. Pete barely manages to hold back a sniffle this time, prompting Way to abandon the medical documents on the table and stand up before pulling his mate into a hug.
“He said I’m probably around five weeks along,” Pete mumbles, his words sounding muffled against Way’s clothes.
While a smile lights up Way’s face and a tear rolls down his cheek, he holds Pete closer and whispers, “Pete…this doesn't even feel real. A pup…our pup!”
They hadn’t planned on expanding their family any time soon, and definitely not in this way. They didn’t even have any idea that Enigmas can get pregnant as well. Deep down, Way knows that abruptly taking up the responsibility of a kid is almost scary but with Pete beside him, he has always been pretty sure that if they ever had a child, through whatever means it may be, they would have figured everything out. Perhaps, they had been a little too reckless a little too soon but Way can’t believe that this is happening. It feels like a miracle. He probably needs someone to pinch his arm so that he can be sure that he isn’t dreaming. There’s a little seed growing inside his mate now. And that tiny being is their pup, the lasting sign of their love.
However, as Pete leans away from the hug, Way reins his thoughts and looks down and weaves his long fingers through the older Enigma’s hair. He notes a subtle shift in the atmosphere of the room but assumes that it’s because Pete is understandably nervous about the entire situation.
Pete clears his throat and whispers, “Way…I’m sorry.”
“Huh? What for? This is such amazing news!” Way sounds genuinely confused.
Pete inhales sharply, composing his thoughts for a moment. Even if he isn’t touching Way right now, being too afraid to read his thoughts verbatim, Pete can feel the happiness of expectations radiating from his mate. And he feels sick to the core to not be able to feel the same as Way. But Pete can’t fake his emotions right now. It would be more unfair, he knows. It would be horrible to lie about something this big. So he gnaws at his lower lip for a minute or two before speaking up, “I…I am…not really sure about this.”
The ghost of a smile disappears from Way’s lips at Pete’s words. For a moment, Way feels his brain shut down, not knowing what to make of Pete’s confession. He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, struggling to form coherent words. But as Pete keeps on murmuring apologies to him, Way eventually regains his composure.
The younger Enigma swallows thickly, torn between two extremely contradictory feelings. He is undeniably elated that their pup is growing inside Pete right now. But how could he forget that Pete’s wishes and decisions over his own body are just as important as the unborn child, if not only more?
Way kneels in front of Pete another time and cradles his face in one of his palms. Pete tries to make himself seem smaller, pretending like if he tries hard enough, he will be able to disappear from this world, from in front of his mate and the only thing that is anchoring him to this reality is Way’s insistent touch.
“Pete…don’t you want…the baby?” Way asks in hushed tones, trying to put on a brave face for the sake of the older.
“I don’t know…I’m not sure,” Pete shakes his head. “It’s our pup…you are so happy about the news. But…I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can’t make myself happy about this!” Pete breaks down out of frustration, warm tears flooding his face.
Way immediately clambers up and pulls Pete into a tight hug, whispering sweet nothings to him. It hurts Way to see his mate in this state. Pete is always strong, steady, shining in his own right. He is always Way’s biggest source of strength and confidence. He rarely gets so vulnerable, let alone not being able to hide it anymore. Way might also have to reconsider his feelings about the baby if their presence is causing so much stress for Pete already. The older Enigma almost seems unrecognisable right now. However, Way reminds himself that this is not the right moment to make any kind of decision. Both of them are too emotional right now for them to make sure that they don’t do something that will only make them regret a few years down the lane.
Once Pete’s sobs slow down, Way leans down and presses a long kiss on his hair. “We have time…let’s talk about this later, okay? For now, let’s freshen up and have dinner first,” he offers, wiping away Pete’s tears and receiving a surrendering nod from the other man.
When they finally go to bed after dinner, Pete snuggles close to Way, burying his face in the crook of his mate’s neck. Way lets out a brief sigh, recognising what Pete is trying to do, and instinctively pushes out comforting pheromones, the air around them turning pleasantly heavy with the notes of clove and cinnamon.
Way resumes their incomplete conversation, his palm constantly caressing Pete’s arm in an attempt to comfort. “Your body is yours first, love. I hope you know that whatever decision you make about this pregnancy, I will support you through it.”
Pete doesn’t respond immediately, staying unmoving for a minute so long that Way almost thinks that he has fallen asleep. But then the older Enigma answers, his lips ghosting the mating mark on Way’s neck, “I don’t know what to do, Way…I can’t lie. I’m scared. Terribly scared.”
“I understand, Pete,” Way whispers back, pressing a kiss on the crown of Pete’s head. “But I’m right here with you, love. I will always be with you.”
“It feels like everything’s happening too fast. I know we never talked about this before but the more I’m thinking about it, the more it’s irking me that this doesn’t fucking make sense,” Pete sighs against Way’s skin.
It’s so rare to hear his mate curse that Way can’t help his snicker, earning a whine from Pete. The younger Enigma hums, however, knowing that Pete isn’t wrong. Enigma pregnancies are reportedly rare. But they can still understand the statistical possibility. However, it is undoubtedly strange, perhaps borderline ridiculous as well, that between the two of them, it is Pete who is carrying the beginnings of a new life inside himself. They tend to switch sometimes, neither of the Enigmas having any unaccommodating preference in the bedroom but Way doesn’t top Pete frequently or regularly enough for them to even consider the possibility of the older Enigma being pregnant in their wildest dreams.
“I’m scared, Way…that I’m not the right person for this,” Pete goes on, burying his nose deeper against Way’s neck, “I don’t even know what motherly instincts feel like. I feel like I’m treating this situation like some unforeseen business deal. I can’t sense anything beyond the technicalities of this situation and what it would mean for us if…the baby stays.”
“Pete, it’s okay. Can you please breathe for me?” Way says softly, creating some distance between themselves to stop Pete from unconsciously trying to suffocate himself.
Once he is assured that Pete actually listens to him and tries to keep his breaths even, Way uses his free arm to run his fingers through Pete’s smooth hair. “It’s only been two days since we found out. Barely even half a day to be precise. Technically the one that we are talking about is still a bunch of cells. It’s okay to not feel so emotionally attached to them, love. You’re just trying to cope and that’s okay," he tries his best to sound like the voice of reason during their hour of turmoil.
Way understands that Pete doesn’t feel the same way as him right now. And he doesn’t blame the older man. Pete has spent years avoiding forging emotional connection, dedicating his entire focus to the goal of ending Tony’s vicious cycle. He used to be a lone wolf essentially, at least until before Alan approached him for funding for the team and then eventually Pete found himself interacting regularly with a proper pack. It took him even longer to mate with Way and officially become a part of the pack. It sounds pretty normal to Way that Pete doesn't feel any sort of emotional bond with the life growing in his womb yet.
“Well, when you frame it like that, it definitely feels less stressful,” Pete sighs deeply, relaxing against Way’s familiar warmth for the first time in hours.
“That’s our goal for the moment, to be honest. Gotta make sure that you aren’t stressing yourself out already,” Way chuckles softly, although the subtle firmness in his voice tells Pete that he isn’t really joking about keeping his mate’s stress levels low.
Way presses another kiss on Pete’s temple and wishes him good night, both of them continuing to hold each other as they try to fall asleep. From scheduling an appointment with the ob-gyn to whom Dr. Heng has referred Pete to possibly getting their first scan, tomorrow is going to be a long day after all.
.
.
.
Way has to stop Pete from chewing on his nails as they wait at the unfamiliar clinic, looking forward to seeing the new doctor. With Enigma pregnancies being very rare, it wasn’t hard to schedule an appointment with the specialist about whom Dr. Heng had told Pete yesterday. Pete scowls at Way for interrupting his unhealthy coping mechanism, while anxiety courses through his veins. Before Way can lecture him about it, however, the receptionist calls out Pete’s name.
“Phiraphol Phacharasakun?” the young Beta woman asks, scanning the only two couples present in the waiting area at the moment.
Pete clears his throat, responding, while standing up with Way. The employee acknowledges them with a nod and leads them towards the doctor’s office as she informs, “Dr. Chompoo will be seeing you now.”
Pete and Way step into the neat office and find the doctor on the other side of the desk. She smiles gently at the couple and asks them to sit down, while the receptionist takes her leave, closing the door behind herself to offer them privacy.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Chompoo. Dr. Heng has briefed me about your situation and I was looking forward to seeing you, Mr. Phacharasakun,” the doctor says.
Pete has to hold back himself from grimacing at the knowledge of the said situation. Of course, the doctor needs to know about him if she is going to treat him.
Understanding Pete’s uncharacteristic nervousness, Way responds on his behalf. “All of this is really sudden, and somewhat shocking, for us. We were rather lost before Dr. Heng advised us to see you, Dr. Chompoo.”
The female Alpha nods, adding, “I understand. Despite specialising in Enigma and Alpha pregnancies, I can tell you that pregnancies among Enigmas, especially male Enigmas, are extremely rare and still a relatively uncharted domain for a majority of doctors out there. But Dr. Heng mentioned that you are also an Enigma, Mr. Wachirabantoon. So it’s not entirely surprising.”
Pete inhales sharply and speaks for the first time. “About that…what options do we have regarding this pregnancy?” he asks, struggling to hold the doctor’s inquisitive gaze.
Way purses his lips and squeezes Pete’s thigh lightly, while explaining, “As you know, Dr. Chompoo, this is really unplanned and obviously unexpected. As a result, Pete isn’t very sure about continuing the pregnancy. We haven’t decided on anything yet but knowing what options are available will be of a lot of help.”
The professional nods compassionately, replying, “Well, abortion is definitely an option, be it at home with medication or through surgery at the clinic. Dr. Heng mentioned that Khun Pete might be five weeks along, according to his hCG levels. We will also conduct a scan today in order to be sure. You’re definitely within the safe and legal range for now if you indeed decide to terminate the pregnancy.”
Pete heaves a relieved sigh at the non-judgemental answer. He had looked up the laws regarding abortion earlier this morning, just to get an idea of what to expect in reply to his query. Hearing the doctor pretty much confirm what he had read comes as a welcome reassurance for the older Enigma.
“Feel free to take your time before you make the final decision, Khun Pete. I’ll suggest we run the routine tests and scan today and you can let me know during your next visit how you want to proceed. Does that sound alright?” Dr. Chompoo offers, her kind warm smile never fading away despite the usually unpleasant topic.
Pete and Way nod in agreement, letting the doctor carry out the usual procedures. Pete finds himself being less tense than the last two days as he goes through the thorough check-up and answers several questions, the frank conversation with Dr. Chompoo having calmed him down.
It’s when she proceeds to help Pete settle down for his first scan that Way moves closer to his mate again and holds his hand. They exchange quick smiles before the doctor informs Pete about the cold gel that she will have to apply on his exposed abdomen and proceeds to do so.
Pete tries to not let the discomfort bother him too much, rather keeping his eyes fixed on the monitor, where a monochrome image appears. Dr. Chompoo brushes the probe along his abdomen, pointing out the technical details to the couple. She confirms that measurements of the gestational sac are within the comfortable range of early pregnancies. Although they don’t get to hear any heartbeat, the doctor assures them that it is nothing to worry about because an ultrasound at only five weeks is considered pretty early to detect such details. She appears quite confident as she adds that they should be able to hear it during their next visit.
Feeling the surge of emotions in his mate, Pete tries his best to block Way out, despite holding onto his hand. As he looks at the image on the screen himself, Pete can’t even think of letting go of Way, the only anchor grounding him to reality at the moment. It feels surreal to see the tiny space the doctor points at and think how it is holding the beginnings of a new life right now. Pete knows, unlike Way, he isn’t ready to accept the situation with open arms already. But he also can’t deny that the confirmed knowledge that a pup is growing inside him doesn’t cause a repulsive or dreadful reaction in him this time.
Once the scan is over, Way helps Pete clean up and button up his shirt. They return to their previous seats as the woman decides to explain to them some more about the unexpected pregnancy, clarifying more of Pete’s queries.
“The rarity of male Enigma pregnancies rises from the fact that only a handful of men of this already uncommon subgender are born with the organs necessary for a viable pregnancy in the first place. Your condition falls in that category, Khun Pete.”
“But nothing of this sort was ever informed to me in any of my previous health check-ups. The results always came back normal, or at least what everyone considered normal,” Pete can’t hide his confusion.
Dr. Chompoo elaborates, “Your uterus and ovaries were always there but they were most probably dormant until recently. I also doubt whether you had ever been recommended tests which would have detected their presence earlier, in which case it isn’t surprising that you’re finding out about them only now. Anyway, having established your mating bond with another Enigma and frequent intimacy with him due to your compatibility might have triggered your gestational structures to become active in order to function according to their purpose, thus, leading to this pregnancy.”
Way gets flustered at the professional’s words but Pete seems to be unfazed. He is undoubtedly more focused on learning about the surprises his body is throwing at him after over three decades of his life because the further the doctor explains, the less Pete feels like an alien creature who doesn’t feel like his own cells are betraying him. Besides the sudden pregnancy, it was also the growing confusion about his own body that was messing with Pete’s head these days. It feels reassuring to finally have some answers.
As they reach Way’s car in the parking lot, the younger Enigma reaches for Pete’s hand before he can climb onto the passenger seat. Pete turns around with a perplexed frown, not understanding the reason for Way’s abrupt behaviour.
Way doesn’t clear up the air immediately. Instead he stares at the envelope in Pete’s hold for a second, thinking about the printed images inside it. He eventually looks up to meet his mate’s curious gaze and instinctively licks his lips before leaning in for a gentle kiss. Pete relents easily as well, kissing back Way with the kind of softness they usually share. They are yet to discuss about the recently concluded visit but Way’s gesture comes as a welcome assurance for Pete. They are going to be alright. Whichever road they choose to walk down in the future, the two of them are certainly not going to fall apart.
Pulling away from the kiss, Way rests his forehead against Pete’s and reminds his mate, “I hope you know that I meant it. Whatever you decide to do about the baby, Pete, I will be here to give you the support you might need or seek.”
Pete responds with a smile and a subtle nod. Inhaling Way’s sharp scent of clove and cinnamon deeply, the familiar essence grounding him, Pete whispers back, “Love you, Way.”
Notes:
i have made way suffer so much until now, guessed it was time to make pete suffer (:
Chapter 2: of joys and fears
Notes:
unbeta'd
as the pack shows up this time, i should probably clarify a few things. like in most of my other post-canon fics, way is still racing for x-hunter in this as well. but i have made small changes from how i usually write the pack so kenta and dean are officially members of the pack here and kim and kenta are obviously dating!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
After a long day, Way joins Pete on the couch of their living room with a freshly prepared cup of ginger tea for his mate, one of the easily available options Dr. Chompoo had advised them to follow to keep Pete’s morning sickness under control. Pete looks up from his laptop and smiles briefly at the younger before thanking him for the warm beverage. As he takes a sip of the tea and immediately goes back to the article he has been reading, Way settles down next to Pete and props his chin on the older’s shoulder, scanning his screen in the process. Way smiles to himself at the sight before him.
It has been a little over a week since they have met the ob-gyn. And their evenings have fallen into a new pattern since then. Everyday after work, Pete has been dedicatedly reading up about pregnancies, especially Enigma pregnancies, clicking on every link that the search engine has to offer. Way has also been joining his mate, silently hoping that Pete’s behaviour means what he hopes it means, although he is yet to say something explicitly for Way to know for sure what their future path is going to look like.
Pete has been seemingly warming up to their new truth, no longer trying to run away from conversations or avoiding his mate. He isn’t too zealous about the pup yet indeed, plans of what they are going to do about the nursery or how they are going to share the news with the pack still being put on hold. But he is reading up so much about being a parent that Way believes Pete is slowly accepting the unexpected change about his body and reconsidering his initial decision. Way can still sense Pete’s nervousness through their mating bond but he can also tell that the persistent worry is often being punctuated by curiosity and anticipation nowadays.
Way can sense the shift in Pete’s mood similarly this evening. The older Enigma has been reading a blog about someone’s struggles with parenthood because of their past history of being a victim of child abuse. Way had noticed Pete biting at his nails while reading it until he handed him the tea. By now the older Enigma’s scent is also tinged with an undercurrent of discomfort.
As Pete reaches the end of the piece, he sighs and closes the laptop. Way retrieves the now empty cup from him and leaves it on the centre table before them, before taking Pete’s laptop and leaving it there as well. He reaches for his mate’s hand and brushes his thumb along his knuckles, asking cautiously, “Something’s bothering you, love. Do you want to talk about it?”
Pete shakes his head, gnawing at his lower lip and looking down wordlessly at their connected hands on his lap. He had always thought that he has healed. That he has successfully untangled himself from the vicious web Tony had woven for him decades ago. That he has run away far enough to not spot the last traces of abuse in himself anymore. His hands didn’t shake when he took the flight back to Bangkok a couple of years ago. His heart rate didn’t spike when he walked into the auction and looked right into Tony’s eyes after years.
But now that he is bearing a child himself, Pete comes to the realisation that perhaps, he hasn’t been able to run away all that far from his past. Perhaps, he is still scared, still carrying around the unhealed scars left on his psyche by Tony’s ruthless grid and disappointment. After all, regardless of how successful Pete becomes in his career, he will never be able to erase the truth of his childhood — that he was just a boy raised by Tony Chen. Pete has tried time and again to chip away at his own self and become something new, someone unrecognisable from the person that Tony had wanted to create. But what good can only a new skin do when the skeleton remains the same? From being an abandoned child being raised in an orphanage to being the first child Tony adopted and showered with love and drowned in expectations — how can Pete ever erase any of that?
And the thought of even sharing this with Way makes Pete want to curl up into himself and disappear. Way is no different, he knows. Being one of Tony’s adopted sons had taken a worse toll on the younger Enigma, if his bottle of anti-anxiety pills and the scars on his back are anything to go by. The damage runs even deeper, Way having needed months to accept the forgiveness Babe and Alan and the rest of the pack had granted him and even longer to overcome his own crushing guilt.
On the other hand, Pete has always been Way’s anchor. He has always been standing strong, weathering every storm that Way’s mind has subjected him to, shielding Way from his own demons, braving the worst for his mate. That’s what Pete always plans to be for Way. He knows he can’t afford to appear so scared and weak in front of Way, or just anyone in general. This is not who he is. This isn’t someone he has the luxury to be. He needs to stop seeming like a stranger to himself. If not for anyone else, then, at least, for Way.
Pete hadn’t realised exactly when his breaths had turned uneven and tears had pooled in his eyes but the soft touch of Way’s palm cradling his jaw and the all too familiar voice calling for him reels Pete back to reality.
“Pete?...Pete, are you okay?” Way murmurs, evidently concerned and trying to search for some kind of assurance in his mate’s eyes.
Pete clears his throat and unsuccessfully tries to blink his tears away. He responds with a silent nod, terrified that if he tries speaking right now, he might simply burst into tears.
Way, as considerate as ever, doesn’t force him to talk. Instead he shifts and straddles Pete’s lap carefully in order to not jostle or push the older. Pete instinctively holds Way by his waist and looks up at him curiously. Way offers him a kind, quiet smile before leaning down to press a kiss on Pete’s forehead. He doesn’t stop there, rather leaving more kisses along Pete’s temple and then his cheek and his jaw. Leaving a wet trail of pecks along Pete’s chin, Way captures Pete’s lips between his and initiates a gentle kiss. Pete finds him smiling in it, his frazzled thoughts eventually slowing down.
Way breaks the kiss after a long moment and moves his lips further south, finally mouthing at the prominent mark on the side of Pete’s neck. He sucks tenderly at Pete’s mating mark, feeling the older man shudder in his hold.
Sensing one of Way’s hands tugging at his hair, Pete tilts his head, exposing more of his neck to his mate. Way mumbles praises against his warm skin and then turns his head to let his scent gland rest against Pete’s. He rubs his skin against Pete’s, thoroughly scenting the older Enigma, while his grip on Pete’s hair relents.
Pete can’t help but let out a pleased whine and pull Way closer to himself. While the sharp sweetness of the blend of cinnamon and clove floods Pete’s senses, he realises that he has stopped wanting to run away. He lets Way do as he pleases, shifting around and wiping away Pete’s tears with his thumbs before nuzzling the other side of Pete’s neck. Way moves closer to Pete, rubbing his skin against his mate’s with intent.
Pete leans into Way’s warmth. With his mate’s body completely pressed against his own and his mate’s scent overwhelming his senses, Pete almost feels like he is being lulled into a slumber. He feels so much safer than he did half an hour ago, somehow Way comforting his mate just in the manner he needs even at times when Pete doesn’t find his voice to ask for it.
Perhaps, this is what Pete actually needed to feel alright — a comforting nap, tucked into the cocoon of safety of his mate’s arms, washed with the serenity of his mate’s scent, embracing the knowledge that their pup is growing inside him.
.
.
.
Pete is quite jittery in the passenger seat of Way’s car when the younger Enigma is on his way to the garage. Sitting with his mate and learning that his body can do more things than anyone could have expected was already so much work. Now that Pete is about to share the news with more people, he can’t help the same old nervousness bubbling within him once again. However, with the thought of abortion now pushed to the back of his mind after long conversations with Way, Pete also doesn’t see any reason to keep the news only to themselves.
Driving into the X-Hunter premises, Way reaches for Pete’s thigh, giving him another light assuring squeeze. Pete sighs at the familiar touch. It isn’t even like Way has persuaded him to reveal the news with the pack. It is Pete himself who decided to go ahead with this, knowing that everyone needs to know about it sooner or later. Should they have asked everyone to come over to their place or Alan’s for this? Maybe the private lounge in the garage is not the best option available. But again weekend practice is the easiest place to gather the pack without much fuss. Though, Way had to specifically let Kim know that Pete will be visiting the garage today so it would be great if Kenta can come over with him, which wasn’t that outrageous of a demand considering Kenta visits the garage on the weekends sometimes, wanting to watch Kim practise. So there's really no point in dawdling now. Pete is already here, they might as well get through with this.
“They’re family, Pete. They will love to hear the news,” Way mumbles one last time as Pete climbs out of the car.
The older Enigma nods and inhales deeply before taking Way’s hand. Even if Pete’s grip around Way’s fingers is unnecessarily strong, Way doesn’t complain, understanding the kind of support he needs.
Although he tries to show up at all of the races, Pete doesn’t get time to visit the garage often. So the enthusiasm of having their main sponsor at the place is evident in everyone, especially North, whom Sonic has to drag away before he can exhaust Pete and make him leave and never want to come back again. Gradually everyone spreads out over the garage, drifting towards their respective jobs, leaving Pete at the lounge. Kenta joins him soon though, walking into the place with coffee for Pete as well as himself. Even if the Enigma has been avoiding caffeine nowadays to keep his nausea in check, he is grateful for the little distraction besides having to only scroll down his phone.
As the practice session winds down and everyone starts filing into the lounge, Pete almost heaves a sigh of relief at the sight of his mate. After all, awkward small talk with Kenta can only last for minutes. Way, Babe and Charlie are the first to come back and the younger Enigma beelines towards Pete to peck at his cheek before settling down on the couch between him and Kenta. Pete can barely conceal his bashful smile as the others arrive too and North doesn’t miss out on the opportunity to tease them. Way has always been pretty reserved when it comes to public display of affection but Pete is definitely not going to complain about this shift in his mate’s demeanour, especially since it feels so good to be at the centre of Way’s attention so evidently nowadays. Pete likes to blame it on his hormones though.
With the conversations drifting from specifics of engines to the pleasure of having the entire pack present in the garage, Kim finally brings up what they’re here for.
“P’Way, you wanted to share something with us, right? What is it?” the Korean man asks, while reaching for Kenta’s hand, the other Alpha having moved towards him right after he had come back.
Pete squirms, forcing a smile on his face, grateful that Way takes charge for now. The younger Enigma nods with a wide grin, saying, “Well, Pete and I have some big news to share with y’all.”
Pete gulps as Way turns towards him and holds his hand, asking, “Do you want to say it?”
Pete can feel everyone’s curious gaze on him but he responds with a nod before looking away from Way. He takes a moment to clear his throat, announcing, “We’re having a pup.”
Jeff almost chokes on his cup of ramen, while a wave of shocked gasps passes through the pack. Pete blushes hard and looks down, Way’s light squeeze on his palm perhaps the only thing stopping him from spontaneously combusting. He doesn’t mind the initial reactions. It would have definitely made more sense for Alan and Jeff to be the first ones to announce something like this. Obviously no one would have expected him and Way to do the honours instead.
“Are you adopting?” Dean asks meekly, appearing pleased at the prospect of the first pup of the pack running around the garage or the pack house.
Way shakes his head in reply, which makes Babe cast a perplexed frown at the couple. “Then how? Is it even possible for Enigmas to get pregnant?” the Alpha asks, looking from Way to Pete and then back to Way again.
Pete lets out an awkward chuckle and nods, elaborating, “We were also surprised when we found out. But we visited the doctor a couple of weeks back and she confirmed that it’s not entirely impossible and the pregnancy is also progressing well.”
The initial shock slowly dies down as the others nod and let the information settle. Sonic is the first to react this time, chirping with his usual exuberance, “Congratulations, P’Way! This is amazing!”
However, Pete makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat, helplessly looking towards Way, who now appears flustered as well. Before Pete is forced to clarify anything, Way smiles awkwardly and clears up the air, “Uh…well, actually…I’m not pregnant, guys. Pete is carrying our pup.”
“Huh? Shouldn’t it have been you, P’Way?” North squeaks at the revelation, while sounds of disbelief make another round through the room. Everyone appears like their eyes might just fall off the sockets at this new piece of information.
Pete’s face feels like it’s on fire and he has to hide behind Way’s shoulder, wondering if they should get some fresh air because he definitely feels too warm to be comfortable. He doesn’t need the pack to start dissecting his and Way’s bedroom dynamics right in front of them.
However, despite their collective chaos, there’s still some decency alive in the place. So while Alan glares at North, Babe smacks the back of his head and Sonic chastises him for always running his mouth thoughtlessly, Pete is showered with the deserved attention and good wishes.
The pack falls into their familiar rhythm soon, the place buzzing with curiosity. Their questions range from how far along Pete is to what made this possible to what the couple’s plans are like regarding the baby and the Enigmas gladly fill them in. The absolute lack of unwarranted judgemental comments truly warms Pete’s heart. Meanwhile, repeated assurances from them, especially Alan and Jeff, about reaching out to the pack for any help, prove Way right. Pete knows that after Way, the pack is going to be the next most important source of support for him through this journey.
.
.
.
For Pete, the weeks now pass in a blur of Way’s unbridled care, sudden cramps and the usual pace of work. Way had asked Pete to consider working from home nowadays until he would allow himself to take the maternity leave following company policy but the older Enigma had declined. He doesn’t want to be holed up in the apartment only because he is pregnant now. So he is still sticking to his old routine of office and gym, determined to not bring any change to it for as long as possible. There’s only so much change that he can handle at once.
Their next visit to Dr. Chompoo seems to have arrived earlier than it should, although Pete knows it’s already been a month since the last one. The Alpha is polite and considerate with them just like the last time as she carries on with regular procedures to ensure that both Pete and the pup are alright.
Way holds Pete’s hand once again as the doctor applies the gel on Pete’s exposed abdomen and brushes the probe across his skin, the expected image appearing on the screen. Pete inhales sharply as Dr. Chompoo points out the baby to them, the tiny being appearing much clearer than the last time. Pete can sense Way’s elation practically rolling off him at the sight of the fetus slowly morphing into a more recognisable form.
However, what truly gets to Pete today is the sound of their heartbeat. As Chompoo works on the controls on the machine and the soft steady sound fills up the otherwise quiet room, Pete’s eyes turn glassy. Way tears up, his grip around Pete’s palm getting stronger as he presses his hand against his cheek and mumbles to his mate, “Our pup, love.”
Pete can only nod in response, afraid of hearing his voice waver in public if he speaks already. Suddenly, it feels all too real, obviously undeniable. This is not their collective hallucination. It is actually happening. Pete’s body is nurturing a new life. He is going to be parents along with his mate in less than one year.
The doctor doesn’t ruin their emotional moment, rather stepping away to give them some privacy and only gently asking them to come back to her desk once they have composed themselves. Way nods in response, picking up a bunch of tissues to help Pete clean up and rearrange his clothes.
As they settle down once again, Chompoo resumes their incomplete conversation from the previous day. “Khun Pete, just to confirm what course we are going to follow hereon, did you make a decision about the option you were considering previously?”
Pete clears his throat, nodding after a brief moment. “I don’t want to terminate. We’ll keep the baby,” he declares, his voice steady and composed like it usually is. He reaches for Way’s hand in his own volition, the younger Enigma’s silent gratitude ringing through him at the very initiation of the touch.
The last few weeks have been a period of gentle care and tough conversations for the couple. While Pete is yet to open up to Way about his worries regarding how he will function as a parent when the only parental figure whom they have ever had the misfortune to know was Tony, they have talked about other stuff. Way stayed true to his words. No matter how much he wants the pup to stay, not for once did he try to change Pete’s mind. Even when Way tried to not let his true wish show, Pete could feel it through their bond and his touch that his mate was trying to mask his thoughts, afraid of unwillingly influencing Pete’s decision. It is Pete who had come to terms with his own new reality and accepted it. It took him some time but now he knows what his heart wants. Opening up to the pack helped him to get rid of a bunch of the uncomfortable thoughts regarding his capacity to become a parent. Their support has come as a welcome reminder that they are not doing this by themselves, their pack is going to be there for them throughout this journey and then beyond. And today’s scan has only consolidated Pete’s belief that he has made the right decision.
The doctor nods with an understanding smile, replying, “Then we have to now make sure that both of you are always in great health.” An easy smile lights up Pete’s face as she lightheartedly points towards his still flat abdomen.
However, soon the conversation returns to its serious tone, Dr. Chompoo bringing up a slightly concerning shift in Pete’s weight. She explains, “Losing some weight in the first trimester isn’t something concerning at a glance. But you’ve lost a considerable amount of weight and that warrants special attention.”
Pete purses his lips, as Way informs the doctor about his mate’s changed eating habits. Even if Pete’s morning sickness has been slowly brought under control with the prescribed medication and home remedies, he refuses to eat enough, always turning down Way with the same excuse of having lost his appetite.
The doctor scribbles something in her notes before looking back at Pete and saying, “Taking care of the baby entails taking care of yourself, Khun Pete. You need proper nutrition and only prenatal vitamins and supplements aren’t going to do that work. Also you always need to keep in mind that this is a high-risk pregnancy. Enigma pregnancies are so rarely observed and studied that we don’t have enough research-backed information about what to expect. We can’t help being overtly cautious.”
“I know,” Pete mutters with a sigh, opening up a bit about his concerns after some hesitation, “But for some reason, it is being really hard for me to do something so basic. Even if I want to have this baby, I can’t stop worrying about how I’ll be as a parent. There’s too many thoughts running in my head…everything still feels really daunting.”
“Pete…” Way softly calls for him, squeezing Pete’s shoulder for a moment before pulling away. He knows that the older Enigma has been struggling with his meals as well as his sleep schedule ever since they have found out about his pregnancy. But he hadn’t expected Pete to feel so distraught about it. This is why Way doesn’t like it when Pete doesn’t share his troubles with him. As much as Way is willing to patiently wait for Pete to open up whenever he is ready to talk, he doesn’t want the older to suffer alone in silence.
Dr. Chompoo seems to figure out what Pete is trying to say. She assures him that feeling this way is normal but he also needs to remember that he isn’t alone in this. He has his mate, his pack, and of course his doctor alongside him on this journey. “It’s okay to ask for help, when things appear heavy, K’Pete…I will advise you to seek professional help regarding your mental health. I can refer you to an expert if you’d like that.”
Pete looks up at the considerate words of the professional. He exchanges a meaningful glance with his mate, Way nodding silently to encourage him to ask for help if he thinks he needs it.
The doctor elaborates further, “Perinatal depression is a real condition and it will be beneficial for both the baby and the mother to receive some support for their well-being.”
Pete gives in with a nod. Before visiting the pack last week and today’s appointment, he has done certain things that he isn’t really proud of and the silent truth bothers his conscience. Even if he doesn’t dare to talk about it, especially not in front of Way, he has figured out that some therapy sessions will truly benefit him. Pete has a terrible habit of making mistakes when it comes to the most important people in his life. But he doesn’t want to make mistakes about their pup. Not anymore. Getting to hear their baby’s developing heart beat so softly has brought some much-needed clarity for him.
“I would appreciate that, Dr. Chompoo,” Pete replies, sensing Way’s proud familiar squeeze around his palm.
.
.
.
Today has been a rough day for Pete, not because of some unexpected situation at Beyond but because of the cramps since morning that simply refuse to subside. Way had been worried this morning when Pete had complained about the frequent irregular cramps, him wanting the older to work from home at least for the day just to be safe. However, Pete had refused, telling Way that he has two important meetings scheduled that he can’t afford to postpone. He had assured Way repeatedly before driving to work that he would be alright and if it got really unbearable, he would return home. After all, Dr. Chompoo has assured them that cramping is to be expected at this stage because of the mother’s body having to adjust to accommodate the pup.
Nonetheless, Pete has been powering through. Now as working hours draw to a close, he prepares to wrap up the day’s work and drive back home. However, it doesn’t really go as he has planned. The next cramp hits without any warning as usual but it is unusually strong, forcing the Enigma to grab the edge of his desk for support to avoid stumbling down to the floor.
Pete feels a sense of dread rising within him now. The doctor had told them about light cramps. This one certainly doesn’t fall in that category. Still Pete tries to get a grip on himself before panic sets in. It’s just one cramp. He just needs to keep breathing and everything will be alright.
However, everything doesn’t seem to be alright. When Pete regains his balance and picks up his phone and his wallet before walking out of the room, another strong cramp compels him to groan and grab his stomach. He figures out he needs to see Chompoo right now because this is in no way normal. Pete curses under his breath and manages to sit down on the couch before fishing out his phone. He tries to ignore the now persistent cramping but from the way his hand shakes it is almost impossible for him to make a call to Way.
When a knock resounds at his door in the middle of the crisis, Pete sees it as his only lifeline.
“Come in,” he grits through his teeth, hoping that it is his secretary and not someone else.
Seeing Kowit pushing the door open and stepping inside rekindles hope in Pete’s heart.
“Khun Pete? What’s wrong?” the secretary asks immediately, noticing his boss on the couch.
Pete can’t even ponder over how wrecked he must be looking right now for even Kowit to know immediately that he isn’t alright.
“Kowit, can you please drive me to–” Pete tries to ask for help but a cramp interrupts him again, making him groan and bend forward with his hand still pressed against his stomach.
However, Kowit moves fast, figuring out that the older man is not feeling well for whatever reason it may be. He leaves the file that he had come in to drop at Pete’s office in the first place on the table in front of the couch and instead helps Pete stand up.
“We need to go to the hospital,” Kowit declares, asking, “Can you walk, Khun Pete?”
The Enigma manages to nod, grateful for the support that the employee provides him with as they make their way towards the elevator.
While Kowit drives his car out of the parking lot, Pete somehow croaks out the name of Dr. Chompoo’s hospital, asking him to drive him there instead of some other place. Kowit glances at the Enigma for a moment, confused about why Pete needs to go to a facility specifically offering maternity care. However, he doesn’t say anything unwarranted, instead putting their destination in the GPS and letting Pete know that he is taking him there.
Pete acknowledges him with a wordless nod, trying to keep his breaths even through the growing pain. But when he feels some unusual wetness between his legs, the dread returns. He doesn’t consider himself a religious person but at this moment, Pete prays to all the deities above that what he is fearing isn’t really happening.
Pete looks down at where one of his hands seems rooted to his clothed belly, his other clutching onto his phone, and feels tears pricking his eyes. He can’t even worry about appearing so horribly vulnerable in front of an employee. All Pete can think of is his pup. He tries not to think of the worst case scenario but it is so hard to calm down his mind. It feels so much worse to live through this moment without his mate or anyone from the pack next to him.
Pete grimaces because of the persistent pain, feeling his tears slip out. He should have listened to Way when he had asked him to stay at home this morning. He shouldn’t have done something that he had been doing even a couple of weeks back. He should have been more careful when he had time. If something were to happen to their pup, Pete will never be able to forgive himself. He has been questioning himself often why he is yet to feel any sort of connection with the baby growing inside him. But right now, Pete feels like his baby’s heartbeat is his and if they don’t survive, he might die with them as well.
Pete can’t even imagine how he can face Way if everything ends today. The pup means the whole world for the younger Enigma. Pete bites down on his lower lip to hold back an audible sob, recalling Way’s new habit of whispering ‘good night’ to his abdomen nowadays. If he is feeling so horrified right now, Pete can’t even fathom how Way might feel if their baby doesn’t make it.
“Please be okay, pup,” Pete whispers to his stomach, his vision blurry with tears. He prays with all his heart that his first time directly addressing their baby won’t be his last time as well.
Notes:
always gotta make things worse before making them better (:
absolutely unrelated to this but the universe just granted me a proper supanut and lykn's william interaction today!!! i have been squealing and smiling every time i see that little clip, like that's literally my way and art, folks!! (can absolutely imagine art cheering for his papa and x-hunter at races just like william hyping nut and ITMBC)
p.s. - for anyone who is new here and is absolutely clueless about what i'm yapping about, art is my oc and peteway's kid in my other fic titled "home is where you heal" and art's faceclaim in my head is basically william hehe
Thapphireth on Chapter 1 Sun 31 Aug 2025 11:10AM UTC
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scapes (ai_gottan) on Chapter 2 Fri 05 Sep 2025 12:35AM UTC
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