Shatter Your Illusions

by cozmicblues

Summary:

All things considered, Agatha’s sex life had been pretty bleak since her last real relationship turned sour.

Which is how she found herself creating a new AOL account. And joining a local bdsm chat room. And writing very explicit directions in her away message.

AIM AWAY MESSAGE: Dyke seeking EXPERIENCED shibari play partner. If you’re strapping and know how to tie, introduce yourself for a compatibility quiz.

= = =

Late 90s strangers-to-lovers fic where Agatha meets Rio at a dive bar after connecting in an AOL chat room.

Notes:

Rated Explicit for the tags in future chapters. But this is a relatively soft and well-adjusted version of these two characters, so I think it’s pretty mellow by Agathario standards.

Anyway, enjoy.

Chapter 1

It’s been a long time since Agatha was properly fucked. 

The past few years have been full of unfulfilling hookups and the occasional relationship that petered out after a few weeks. All things considered, her sex life had been pretty bleak since her last real relationship turned sour. 

Which is how Agatha found herself creating a new AOL account. And joining a local bdsm chat room. And writing very explicit directions in her away message. 

AIM AWAY MESSAGE: Dyke seeking EXPERIENCED shibari play partner. If you’re strapping and know how to tie, introduce yourself for a compatibility quiz. 

One thing Agatha was not going to do is waste time reaching out to a bunch of randos in a chat room. She needed to streamline the process. Let people weed themselves out if they weren’t a match. Let the cream rise to the top as they say. 

She had spent the last few months committed to the very arduous process of trying to find a play partner in the wild. But finding someone with the interest and experience in exploring ropes play was proving impossible. Mostly because every woman she talked to seemed more interested in exploring the possibly of a relationship instead. 

Agatha would rarely admit to being jealous of men, but lesbians could really learn a thing or two about the culture of accessible casual sex that gay men have cultivated.

Cue the wonders of the world wide web. Gone are the days of missed connection ads in the newspaper. Now if you want to find someone, you can cast a line in your local kink chat room and wait for the little fishes to bite. 

Sure you might need to dodge a serial killer or two, but what’s the point of life if you’re not living on the edge a little. 

The compatibility quiz was maybe a step too far. But she really wanted to skip the awkward niceties and know if someone was even remotely on the same page as her before she invested any time in talking. When she ran the idea past her best friend, Jen called it certifiably narcissistic, but intriguingly efficient. Perfect. That’s exactly what Agatha was going for. 

The first few people to reach out immediately took themselves out of the running. Outside the city? No. Self described bubblegum fem? What the fuck does that even mean? First time, but willing to learn? Absolutely not. What part of *experienced* in all caps, bolded, and underlined implied they would be compatible? Hard pass. 

After several weeks and zero viable candidates, Agatha considered giving up. The only person who even vaguely fit the perimeters of Agatha’s very specific needs had ruined it all with saying they’d “be game to play” after casually dating for a while. What. The. Fuck. People. That is not what’s happening here. In fact, it’s the opposite of what’s happening here. 

Instead of rage deleting her account like she originally planned, she decided to update her away message as a last ditch attempt to clarify for the universe exactly what she was manifesting. 

“Ropes only, no strings.” 

There. That’s more clear. She wants someone to tie her up, not take her on a date and book a u-haul. God damn. 

And maybe the universe was finally listening, because within minutes she received a new message. 

RiverBankShot:
Hi I’m Rio. Do I get to ask you a question first or is this quiz like a bridge troll that’s gatekeeping a conversation? 

 

PurpleLilith:
Excuse you, my quiz is great. Why are you even messaging if you’re judging (¬_¬)

 

RiverBankShot:
The quiz comes off high maintenance. Honestly, it scared me off until I saw you’re looking for casual play, no strings. 

 

PurpleLilith:  
Fine. You get one question. Don’t waste it. 

 

RiverBankShot:
Oh shit… I was just going to ask A/S/L but that feels… inadequate. So… what’s your screen name mean? 

 

PurpleLilith: 
Guess. 

 

RiverBankShot:
I assume it means you’re a sexually deviant primordial spirit that loves to cause havoc. And that your favorite color is purple. 

 

PurpleLilith: 
Accurate. 
See you didn’t need to ask a question, you guessed it right. 
What does yours mean? 

 

RiverBankShot:
Umm it’s kind of a basketball pun. Like a river bank. But then a bank shot. Like when you hit the backboard. 

 

PurpleLilith: 
Okay dyke. 
Do you want the quiz or not? 

 

RiverBankShot:
Yes, please. 

 

PurpleLilith: 
A/S/L
T/B/S
Experience w/ ropes?
Thoughts on aftercare?
Favorite Stevie Nicks song?

 

RiverBankShot:
35 / Butch / 17th St Heights adjacent 
In the context of ropes play, top.
Always the artist, never the art.
Essential. 
Rhiannon. 
You?

 

PurpleLilith: 
33 / Dyke / West Park Triangle 
Switch.
Usually the artist, interested in being the art. 
If you think my quiz is high maintenance, my aftercare rider might actually scare you away. 
Gold Dust Woman. 

 

RiverBankShot:
Switch? You give off strong top energy. 

 

PurpleLilith:
Fair. That’s part of what I’m interesting in exploring. 

 

RiverBankShot:
Good to know. And for the record, I find an explicit aftercare rider to be appealing. 

 

PurpleLilith:
Hmm see, that’s giving really subby top energy. Are you sure you can be trusted with this responsibility? 

 

RiverBankShot:
Preferring explicit communication isn’t subby. It just means I like a women who knows what she wants. And is vocal about it. 

 

PurpleLilith:
Well. I want to meet. Are you free Saturday?

 

RiverBankShot:
Yes. How about The Road on 18th? 

 

PurpleLilith:
Great. See you at 8pm. 

 

Agatha is pretty smitten with herself to be honest. It look a few misses, but she might have found a match. She was riding that high until she heard the AIM notification go off again an hour or so later. 

 

Ugh, this girl better not be a stage five clinger. 

 

RiverBankShot:
Quick question. Is this just a visual exploration for you? Or is there a chance it’s also visceral? Like, physically. 

 

PurpleLilith:
Ummmm I feel like the answer to this question is that shibari is, inherently, both??

 

RiverBankShot:
Okay. 
But what I’m really asking is…
What are the chances we fuck?
Or like, is this exclusively just for the experience of being on the receiving side of rope art. 
I want to align on expectations. 

 

PurpleLilith:
Well, the chances WERE high but that probability is going down every time you ask a question. 

 

RiverBankShot:
Fuck do my questions from earlier count? 
WAIT
Don’t answer that. 
Pretend I didn’t ask that. 
Okay not to further dig myself into a hole…
But one more question.
Is that aftercare rider like a list you could share? Just want to be prepared. 

 

PurpleLilith:
That’s actually a great question, I won’t dock you points for that one. 

Not to immediately contradict myself. But since I’ve never done this before, I don’t exactly know what I’d want for aftercare. 

 

RiverBankShot:
What do you do for other people? Maybe we can start there? 

 

PurpleLilith:
» color check 
» untie ropes
» preliminary check for bruises
» wash any accessories 
» warm up a washcloth 
» full body check again with said washcloth
» apply bruise balm 
» check in again before leaving room 
» procure snack (sweet or salty, depends on preference) and water 
» pack bag and leave 

 

RiverBankShot:
You don’t stay? 

 

PurpleLilith:
Usually not, no. Is that going to be a problem for you? 

 

RiverBankShot:
I might need like a few minutes to decompress, at least. 
And honestly, if I do my job right, you will also need time to land back in your body. Feel fully present. Not sure I’d feel comfortable with you leaving immediately. But I can compromise and not expect you to stay overnight. 

 

PurpleLilith:
Fair. You can set a 30 minute timer and we can reassess then. 

 

RiverBankShot:
Roger that. 

 

PurpleLilith:
Any other questions? 

 

RiverBankShot:
Well… is there anything you think you’d want different than your usual ritual? 

 

PurpleLilith:
Umm. Maybe tea instead of water? 
And maybe music afterward? Like during snack time. 

 

If Agatha had to stay for a full half an hour, she could run down the clock by making Rio boil some tea water. And she’ll let a stranger tie her up, but there is zero chance she’ll be doing a debrief. So music is a must. No awkward silences to fill. 

 

RiverBankShot:
Okay. Those can both be arranged. 
The clock starts when I get back with the tea though. 

 

Well, fuck. 

 

PurpleLilith:
Fine.

 

~ ~ ~ 

 

On Saturday night, Agatha walked from her apartment to The Road, a dive bar in the heart of the city’s gayborhood. She was wearing her favorite peachy-pink blazer, light wash jeans and chunky loafers. Eye makeup kind of dark and smudgey. Long hair wild and parted on the side. It was a look that felt both like armor and a target. Something that made her feel confident and protected from the outside world, but also screamed gay. 

It had been a few days since she last talked to Rio, who luckily refrained from hitting up Agatha with any additional questions. And something about the anonymity of the whole thing made her excited. She walked in the bar, nerves buzzing and riding a high that nothing could ruin. 

Nothing except maybe her ex. Who was, of fucking course, one of the seven people currently in this tiny dive bar. The universe was not making this easy for Agatha. 

Her ex is quite literally the last person she would want to see in this moment. They haven’t spoken in years and she does not need that to change now. Her ex could be… difficult. Classic case of young love that outgrew each other. She would never admit it, but in hindsight Agatha can acknowledge her own slightly unpredictable attachment style was definitely a factor.

Agatha purposely found a seat on the other side of the bar, hoping to not catch her ex’s attention.  

“What the fuck, Agatha? You’re not supposed to be here. I called dibs on this bar in the breakup.” 

Fuck, Victoria noticed her. Agatha rolled her eyes before dignifying this outburst with a response. 

“You can’t just call bids on an establishment and honestly expect me to never step foot in it again, Vic. There are only so many gay bars in this city.” 

“And this one is mine. You can literally go to any other one, I just wanted this one place to myself.” 

Against her better judgement, Agatha stood up and walked over to where Victoria was sitting at the bar. She didn’t want to have this fight. But it seemed inevitable, so she’d at least try to avoid them making a scene. They could handle this like adults. Hopefully. 

“Look, Victoria. It’s been three years. There’s gotta be a statute of limitations on dibs. This is ridiculous.” 

“No. You have to leave. You can’t stay. Just leave, Agatha. Why do you always have to be so difficult?”

“I can’t leave. Not tonight. After tonight, I’ll let you have your little bar. But I’m meeting someone and I don’t want to stand them up. So you’re going to have to be a big girl and coexist under the same roof. Okay?” 

“Not okay. Why are you meeting them here?!” 

“Because they suggested it,” Agatha snapped. “And it would have been absolutely unhinged for me to say the words no sorry I can’t, my ex has custody of that bar so I’m not allowed.” The whiney pitch of Agatha’s voice made her want to cringe. This was not the headspace she wanted to be in tonight. 

“Seems perfectly reasonable to me.” 

“And this is why we broke up, Victoria. Because your standard of what is reasonable is so drastically disconnected from reality that it makes it impossible to coexist peacefully.” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

The sudden tone shift startled Agatha. Victoria sounded genuinely hurt. Which like fair, okay maybe Agatha took it a little too far. But that was always their dynamic. Antagonist and bratty until the argument bubbled over into the territory of sexual tension and one of them finally snapped. It wasn’t a sustainable relationship dynamic. But it was fun. Until it wasn’t. 

“Don’t call you impossible? I’ve honestly called you worse,” Agatha said dismissively. 

“No. Don’t call me Victoria.” 

“What? That’s your fucking name, Vic. Am I not allowed to say your name either? God you are such a colossal pain in my ass.“ 

“Just stop, okay? That’s not… I don’t… no one calls me that anymore. So I’m asking you, please don’t say it.” 

“And what pray-tell am I supposed to call you then?” Agatha said dramatically, closing her eyes and refusing to look at her ex. 

“Rio. I go by Rio now.” 

 

 

Notes:

Your homework before next chapter is to listen to Rhiannon and think about how the canon lore around Agatha as a mother is an allegory for the mythology of the goddess Rhiannon.

Chapter 2

Notes:

Fair warning, this chapter is like a bridge troll that’s gatekeeping the smut.

ALSO! Important visual reference. This is Rio in this universe: https://x.com/awitchsboo/status/1962278313201635731

Your homework assignment this chapter is to go follow @awitchsboo por favor 💙

Agatha snapped her head to look at Victori — Rio. Fuck fuck fuck. No. Absolutely not. There is no way. Does the universe hate her? This cannot be happening. 

Wait, how is this happening? Did Agatha really never say her name? Did Vic… Rio. Did Rio agree to meet a stranger without even asking their name?! This is a perfect example of how her ex’s sense of what is normal just doesn’t align with Agatha. This whole encounter, disaster really, boils down to her ex’s bad judgement. Ugh no.  That’s not entirely true. Agatha is the one who initiated this rather reckless endeavor. And blindly blaming her ex anytime something went wrong is a pattern that Agatha can maybe recognize is a little unfair. 

Agatha didn’t know how long she’d been staring at Rio. But she realized she had to think quick. Right now, she had the upper hand. She had to decide whether she was going to play her cards or keep them close to her chest. Think, think, think. 

She landed on stalling. 

“Okay, Riooo,” Agatha said in a sing-song tone. Rio flinched and Agatha immediately wished she could take that back. 

She reached out and put her hand on Rio’s forearm. Deep breath. Take two.

“Okay, Rio,” she tried again, voice no longer condescending. “Say more. About that. Please.” 

It wasn’t great. Certainly not the most elegant reaction. But it bought her time to decide how to play this. 

“I mean… Victoria never really fit me. It was too… feminine? Refined? It just wasn’t me,” Rio said. She clenched her jaw like she was bracing for impact, expecting Agatha to rub salt in what’s clearly still a healing wound. 

For once, Agatha chose softness. 

“Yea, I know,” she started. “That’s why I always called you Vic. It fit you better.” 

But it was met with silence. 

“Why didn’t you just stick with Vic? Also gender ambiguous…” Agatha continued. 

“No one else called me that,” Rio said. 

“Yea well, no one was calling you Rio either. So if you’re picking a new name, it’s gunna take some effort to get people to adopt it.” 

“No, I mean, you were the only person who called me that. And I’ve spent the last three years trying to figure out who I am. Not just who I was trying to be when I was with you. I couldn’t let your nickname become my identity. That… just… it would have been too hard.” Rio took a deep breath, shoulders sinking a little lower and chin raising a little higher. An attempt to take up space and not just melt away.

And that’s when Agatha finally noticed, Rio was carrying herself differently. And it wasn’t just her butchy sleeveless vest and how it exposed a double half sleeve tattoo. Or the chopped hair. Or the… seven piercings in her ear. Or the gay-as-fuck perfectly worn in boots. 

No it was something else. Like Rio’s aura was glowing a different color. Okayyyyy, Agatha thought to herself, stop psychoanalyzing your ex’s aura color. That’s literally too gay. 

When they first met, Victoria was awkward in an endearing theatre nerd kind of way. To the world, she was quiet. Disinterested. Detached. Only Agatha saw the moments where Victoria was vulnerable enough to let her actual personality come out. That was part of the ongoing strain on their relationship though. Seeing how different Victoria was in public versus private moments really unsettled Agatha. Tripped some sort of long-ago wired belief that a disconnect like that, the duality of a public and private persona, was somehow unsafe. In this moment though, Agatha felt like she was looking at a version of her ex where those two sides of her were more integrated.  

And where Victoria had always been a little fragile — mercurial, slightly unstable — Rio now sat in front of Agatha very solidly.  Even clearly rattled by this conversation, there was a quiet sturdiness that grounded Rio. Agatha found it soothing. Like they could coexist in friction without it sparking Agatha’s nervous system into chaos. 

It was in that moment that she realized her hand was still on Rio’s arm. She squeezed it and took a deep breath. 

“Thank you for sharing that,” Agatha said quietly. 

“Yea whatever,” Rio said and then turned on her bar stool to fully face Agatha and lock eyes. “Now please kindly fuck off, because I am also meeting someone and I would very much like it if you disappeared now.” 

The reality of the situation hit Agatha again. Right. Right. Right. Fuck. 

“It’s me. Fuck, I literally forgot for a moment. You are waiting for me.” 

“No I’m not,” Rio said reflexively while physically shaking her head. 

Agatha’s eyes scrunched closed and her jaw tensed. She stretched out her fingers to try to dispel some of her nervous energy. 

“Yes. Yes you are, River Bank Shot.” 

Agatha nervously touched her fingers to her own lips. She really had no idea how Rio was going to react to this information. 

“Noooooooo. Fuck me.” Rio sat there in shock, eyes wide and slightly unfocused. Like she also had to mentally run through the list of fallen dominoes that led them to this moment. 

“I mean… if the offer is still on the table,” Agatha said with a smirk. 

Rio looked at her. Head cocked to the side like a puppy. 

“You don’t mean that. Do you?” 

It was Agatha’s turn to glitch for a moment. Did she mean it? She didn’t not mean it. 

“We don’t have to decide this very moment,” is what Agatha eventually settled on. 

“We can set a 30 minute timer and reassess,” she continued when she saw Rio’s face soften at her initial reply. 

Rio laughed and poked her tongue into the side of her cheek. That’s cute. New. Rio didn’t use to do that, Agatha thought to herself. 

“Carol!” Rio said suddenly, jilting Agatha out of her thoughts.  

“Yea, Ri?” the bartender replied from a few feet away. 

“Do you have a timer? Like in the kitchen? That I can borrow for a few?” 

“Sure thing, boss.” 

Agatha watched as this interaction unfolded, a little bit in awe of the person sitting next to her and the way she navigates through the world now. It was such a simple thing, yet so different than how Victoria would have reacted to Agatha’s joke. 

The next twenty seven and a half minutes went by surprisingly quickly. It was easy to fall back into a rhythm with Rio, almost as if the past three years hadn’t happened. But also… they were definitely different people than before. Almost strangers. The dichotomy made Agatha feel a little floaty, like she wasn’t fully existing in the present moment. 

“Hey wait,” Agatha said when she realized something. “You said you were 35! That’s a blatant lie.” 

The accusation was real, but her tone was playful. 

“I don’t know man, age is kinda meaningless. Sometime around 27, I started considering myself 30. And that lasted until a few months ago when I turned 33. And now my brain rounds up to 35 and I’ll probably be 35 until I’m like 37, maybe 38. And then I’ll be 40.” 

“That… weirdly makes sense for you,” Agatha laughed. 

At that moment, the timer went off. 

The two of them locked eyes silently. And then, without breaking eye contact, Rio reached over to the timer and reset it wordlessly. Agatha smiled. And if she noticed that Rio had turned the dial past 30 minutes this time, she didn’t say anything. 

“So… why shibari?” Rio asked. 

“Ummm because if I just said ropes, I would have ended up with someone restraining my wrists to a bed post and thinking that’s enough. And I was looking for someone who can spin a web of rope around me like a spider. Wait, you can do that right?” 

“Yes. But that didn’t really answer my question.”

“I guess… I wanted to know what it feels like. I do enjoy being the one doing the tying. The repetition of the knots, it almost feels ritualistic. But doing it also makes me jealous? Like I crave the feeling of the rope on my skin. It’s almost like I miss the feeling of being secure even though I’ve never felt it before… I want to know what it feels like to surrender. So I tried to find someone who would do that for me.” 

“And you thought a stranger you found in a chat room was the best person to experience that with?” 

“Hmm the person the universe sent me didn’t exactly turn out to be a stranger.” 

Rio looked at her almost a beat too long before answering. 

“I couldn’t have been the first person to reach out to you.” 

Agatha laughed at that. And then proceeded to tell Rio about the handful of failed candidates before her. 

“Bubblegum fem?” Rio laughed. “I am pretty sure that’s a strain of weed I smoked in Amsterdam once.” 

“Either way, that was a deal breaker for me.”

“Well obviously. Couldn’t have two bubblegum femmes,” Rio said while gesturing at Agatha’s blazer. 

“Oh fuck you,” Agatha laughed while shaking her head and playing with the buttons on the sleeve of her blazer. 

“Yea… fuck me,” Rio replied. 

Agatha looked up at Rio through her lashes, almost not believing what she heard. 

“Yea?” she asked with raised brows. 

Rio just slowly nodded yes in response. 

It was Agatha’s turn to pick up the timer,  turning it off this time. She then pulled $20 out of her back pocket to cover their drinks and a sizable tip. 

“Let’s go.” 

Notes:

See the joke here is that she’s not femme. And bubblegum fem was in fact a popular strain in the Netherlands in the 90s.

Extra credit assignment: Listen to Gold Dust Woman because it’s a good song.

p.s. didn’t hand code this bc #migraine so I’ll fix the formatting later if it’s fucked

Chapter 3

Notes:

I tried to research if there was a term specifically for mid-play renegotiation of rules. Turns out my kink is just “good communication” apparently.

It turns out Rio now lives in one of the loft apartments literally across the street from the bar. Fine, maybe it’s semi-reasonable for Rio to have demanded custody of that bar in the breakup. But you won’t catch Agatha vocalizing that thought. 

She’s quickly distracted anyway, eyes drifting to Rio’s hand where she’s unclipping her keys from her belt loop. And that’s when Agatha notices something interesting. 

The moment Rio opens the door, Agatha pushes her inside and pins her against the closest wall. She presses her lower body against Rio and smirked. Rio was strapped and packing. Hot. 

“I thought so,” Agatha whispered in Rio’s ear. “Is this a special occasion kinda thing or a regular occurrence for you these days?” 

“You’ll have to stick around a while and find out,” Rio replied, her voice a little raspy. 

Agatha leaned in like she was going to kiss Rio, but at the last moment she diverted and let her teeth drag against the left side of Rio’s jaw. A little love bite. 

She walked away and then fluffed her hair as she turned back to look at Rio. 

“Time to get to work, pretty boy.” 

Agatha smiled when she heard the noise that escaped Rio. 

The moment Agatha stepped into Rio’s bedroom, the floaty feeling came back. She’d never been in this room before, but it felt familiar. Rio’s acoustic guitar leaning up against the wall. A leather accent chair that Agatha was intimately familiar with. A framed photo she knows Rio took herself. No less than seven houseplants. 

Agatha felt Rio’s finger tips graze her arm. 

“You okay?” Rio asked. 

For as much bravado as Agatha felt a moment ago, she could only muster a small nod. 

“Sit down,” Rio said, nodding to the chair. 

Agatha sat, feeling surprisingly grateful for the explicit instructions. 

“Any hard limits?” Rio asked. 

“Hmmm usually my ground rules for ropes play are no pet names, no other kink exploration without explicit verbal consent, and basic color system. I think those all still apply here.” 

“You think?” 

“Maybe… not the first one.”

Rio smiled at that, her cheeks getting a little flushed. 

“Any positions or specific restraints off limits?” Rio clarified. 

“I don’t think so.”

“Since it’s your first time, I’m going to check in a lot. Like almost to the point where it’s annoying. So if we’re ever venturing into territory that you’re not sure you like, we can course-correct. Okay?” 

Agatha nodded.  

“Anything else?” Agatha asked. 

Rio narrowed her eyes slightly and inhaled sharply before responding. 

“I have a question. Because you didn’t list it as a limit, but I’m not sure how you feel about it.” 

“Okay?” Agatha said, unsure of what exactly Rio was referring to. 

“Am I allowed to kiss you?” 

The question caught Agatha off guard. Because she honestly hadn’t thought about it. But she could see why her antics in the hallway made Rio ask. 

“Yes,” she answered. She felt a ghost of a tingle run down her spine, it was the most grounded she'd been in her body since walking into the room. 

“Okay. Good.” 

Rio walked over to Agatha and reached both her hands out, Agatha instinctively reaching back. 

“Stand up… kick your shoes off,” Rio said while squeezing Agatha’s hands to help her balance. 

This is new. To Agatha. Rio had never done this particular move with her in the past. But it felt habitual, like it wasn’t the first time Rio had done it. Which Agatha tried not to think about. 

Rio let go of Agatha’s hands and then placed one of hers on Agatha’s chest where the lapels of her blazer overlapped. 

“Can I take this off?” 

“Yes.”

Agatha felt Rio’s fingers undo the one button holding the jacket closed. Rio took it off, eyes drifting slowly down and then back up Agatha’s exposed body. 

“You really didn’t wear anything under it? Just completely bare. Not even a bra. To meet a stranger?” Rio said with a deadpan tone, just a hint of degrading sarcasm. 

Good, Rio was also thinking about the concept of Agatha with someone else. They’re even now.

“Are you surprised, babe?” Agatha replied shamelessly. 

Rio did that crooked smile thing again with her tongue and all Agatha could think about is how she wants to do at least one thing everyday that will elicit that reaction. 

Every day? 

What the fuck. 

Agatha tried not to dwell on that particular thought any longer. There were more pressing matters at hand. Like how Rio was currently unbuckling Agatha’s belt and slowly pulling it free before dramatically letting it drop to the floor. Damn. Okay. 

“Where was this version of you three years ago?” Agatha asked, sounding more affected than she expected to be at this stage. 

“She didn’t exist yet.”

The words hit Agatha hard. The implication being this version of Rio couldn’t have existed back then. Only existed because of the years they spent apart. Another thought Agatha wished didn’t intrude into her headspace. Because that was… a lot. Too much. For this moment. Maybe any moment. 

Rio slowly dropped to her knees and looked up at Agatha. 

“Hands on my shoulders,” Rio commanded softly. Agatha complied with no hesitation. It was easier than she expected to fall into a more submissive role. Maybe Rio wasn’t the only one who evolved since their last time together. 

She felt Rio slip fingers between denim and skin, then pull on the fabric with her other hand. The five buttons holding the high waisted jeans together released one-by-one in succession under the tension.

Agatha’s thoughts finally started to quiet as she felt Rio take her jeans off. Rio’s finger tips then started tracing the spot where lace met the silky smoothness of Agatha’s left hip. 

“On or off?” Rio asked. 

“Off.”

The tactile feel of the lace boyshorts being dragged down her thighs made Agatha shiver. Rio reached for one of her hands to steady her again and the lace quickly ending up in the growing pile of clothes on the chair behind Agatha. 

Rio, still on her knees, leaned forward and hesitated just for a moment to inhale slowly before leaving a kiss on the now exposed hair of Agatha’s bush. 

Freak. Somethings do not change, apparently. 

“Color?” Rio asked. 

“Green.”

Rio stood up and retrieved a coil of rope that had been laid out in preparation. She expertly found the middle of the line and quickly looped the long rope several times making a loose little knot in the shape of a tear drop. She then silently pressed the knot into Agatha’s chest and Agatha reflexively placed a hand on it to hold it steady. Rio looped the two lengths of rope on either side of the knot up around Agatha’s shoulders. Down around her ribs and woven through the knot. And then back up and around again. 

“Color?” 

“Still green.”

Rio took the leftover rope on the right side and started daisychaining knots down Agatha’s arm. She then repeated the process on the left. 

“Still okay?”

Agatha didn’t feel bad, per se. She just didn’t really feel at all though maybe... Even when watching Rio’s fingers wrap the rope around her, it was like she could feel the ropes but not herself against them. 

“Yes.” 

“I’m going to check to make sure things aren’t too tight before we go any farther.” 

Agatha nodded. 

She closed her eyes as she felt Rio place one and then two fingers under various places where the rope was spun around her skin. 

Okay… maybe a little easier to coexist with the ropes now.   

Rio picked up a second length and once again found the center. She wrapped it around Agatha’s hips and threaded either end through little cuff link loops on the ropes around her wrists before twisting it into another harness around her hips. Asymmetrically maybe? It felt heavier on her left side. 

Looking down, Agatha saw the teardrop knot kind of pulse, quivering in time with her heart beat. Shouldn’t it be moving more?

Oh right, Agatha should be breathing. She gulped in some air, not sure how long she’d been holding her breath. 

The knot didn’t move though, it stayed secure and offered a little resistance, pressure against Agatha’s expanding rib cage. 

Agatha took another breath, deeper this time, watching her breasts swell around the knot. Expand. Contract. The knot stayed stable. 

“Can you hold this for me?” Rio asked while placing the rest of the rope in Agatha’s hands. 

“Is it okay if I pick you up and bring you to the bed now?” she continued. 

Agatha’s legs weren’t restrained at all, there was no real need for Rio to carry her. But she wanted to feel that… Rio’s arms around her in some way. 

“Yes.” 

The world shifted a little when Rio silently picked her up, bridal style.

Agatha felt herself settle onto the mattress, followed by the feeling of Rio climbing into bed next to her. 

“You’re being uncharacteristically quiet, Agatha.” 

Rio wasn’t wrong. Usually Rio couldn’t get Agatha to stop talking unless she found a way to occupy her mouth. But right now, Agatha felt herself sinking into the hazy bliss of subspace. It felt nice. Almost like the floaty feeling she gets sometimes. But different. Better. Safer. Secure, instead of untethered. She liked it. 

“Color?” Rio asked when Agatha didn’t answer. 

In that moment, Agatha was almost annoyed by the frequency of Rio’s check ins. But maybe Rio was the thing tethering her. Letting her mind float while her body sunk. Or was it the opposite? Her body was floating and her mind sunk? Agatha didn’t have the right words to describe the feeling. She was kind of existing in a space where words didn’t really seem right at all. Like trying to contain this feeling inside the  structure of a word felt impossible. 

“Agathaaa,” Rio said softly, trying to coax Agatha back from the haze. Agatha looked toward the sound of Rio’s voice and found her eyes. 

“There you are,” Rio said once they made eye contact. 

“Color?” she asked once again.

Agatha blinked slowly and told herself to say the word green. 

“Yellow.” 

Agatha wondered why she said yellow. But then she realized it wasn’t her voice that said it. 

Rio moved closer to Agatha and reached her hand to touch the side of Agatha’s face. 

“I’m calling yellow,” Rio said softly.

Agatha felt the words before her brain consciously heard them. She tensed up. Suddenly feeling more in her body, but maybe not in a good way. 

“It’s okay that you’re quiet. But it’s not okay if you can’t communicate,” Rio continued. “Do words feel hard right now?” 

Agatha felt her head nod yes. She took a shallow breath and her whole body shivered, suddenly covered with goosebumps. 

Rio moved closer and laid flat on top of Agatha, letting her feel the full weight of her body. Agatha had woken up so many mornings before to the feeling of Rio being her own human-shaped blanket, the familiarity of it felt comforting. 

Rio placed both hands on Agatha’s cheeks, thumbs brushing away tears that Agatha hadn’t realized were falling until that moment. 

“Here’s what’s going to happen. We’re going to stay like this for a moment. And you’re going to breathe with me. Five counts in, five counts out. And then I’m going to adjust your ties. I’m not undoing all the knots down your arms. But I am going to release the rope around your hips so that your arms aren’t restrained anymore. But for now, just breathe.”

Agatha could feel the tips of Rio’s fingers lightly tapping her cheekbones, counting. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. In time with the rhythm of her heart beat. She wasn’t sure which slowed down first. Rio’s fingers or her own pulse. Maybe it was mirror neurons slowing them down together. 

Rio reached back to pull out a grey bandana from her back left pocket and used it to fix Agatha’s smudged mascara. 

After a moment, Rio shifted her attention down. 

“Can you put your feet flat on the bed for me? Good. Can you press your hips up a little? Good.” 

Agatha wasn’t sure exactly how, but she felt Rio move so that Agatha could relax again without being fully on the mattress. Like she was anchored and suspended all at once, letting Rio easily reverse the rope that had been wrapped around her hips.

She could feel Rio unthread the ends out of the loops around her wrists, her arms no longer secured to her sides. Rio placed the rope on the bed next to them and took Agatha’s hands in her own, squeezing them. 

“Okay, Agatha. New color system. This hand,” Rio said while holding Agatha’s left hand tighter. “This hand is green or yes.” 

Agatha nodded. 

“And this one is yellow or no,” Rio continued while squeezing Agatha’s right hand. 

“We’re going to practice. I’m going to ask you questions and you’re going to show me instead of tell me, okay?” 

Agatha gripped Rio with her left hand and Rio smiled before bringing the hand to her lips and kissing Agatha’s fingers. 

“Good. Are you feeling okay?” 

Agatha squeezed with her left hand again. 

“Do you want to keep going?”

Agatha squeezed with her left three times quickly. She didn’t want to stop. 

“Okay. We can... I’ll make sure I’m always within reach. When I ask you for a color, left for green and right for yellow. If it’s ever red, don’t stop squeezing with your right hand. Show me you understand.”

“Good,” Rio said once she felt Agatha’s left hand. “And it’s not just when I ask. If you ever feel yellow, tap or squeeze or get my attention with your right hand. Likewise,  anytime I’m doing something you like, let me know,” she said while she squeezed Agatha’s green hand again for emphasis. 

The softness of the interaction, how Rio took care of her, washed over Agatha. Mirroring Rio’s gesture from a moment ago, Agatha’s left hand brought Rio’s fingers to her lips and kissed her knuckles. 

Agatha kind of floated in and out and around the fuzzy warm feeling while Rio tied knots around her legs. Similar to the linking knots on her arms. 

“I’m going to ask that you to flip over and bend your knees and then I’m going to flip you back. It won’t be restrained though, in case you ever need to move or stretch your legs. I don’t want you to have to ask.” 

Agatha agreed with a soft grip of her hand on Rio. 

It was nice feeling Rio’s hands on her, guiding her body so Agatha didn’t need to. She felt herself melt a little more once Rio flipped her back and placed her fingers under various knots to test the resistance. 

“How do you feel?” Rio asked once she finished rechecking the ropes on Agatha’s left leg. 

“Good,” Agatha answered verbally. “Green.” 

Rio curled up next to Agatha with her head using Agatha’s left hip as a pillow. Like a puppy settling in for a nap with her human.  But also a ghost of the restraint she had released from Agatha’s hips. 

Agatha catches herself wishing she could freeze time and stay in this moment as long as possible. She lets her fingers thread through Rio’s hair to hold her close. 

“I have a thought… a request,” Rio said while one of her fingers lightly traced lines between some of the knots she’s tied. 

“But one, it would require me to break my promise of being within reach. Just for a minute though. And two… as per ground rule number two, I would need your verbal consent.” 

Well that got Agatha’s attention. She took a deep breath and then exhaled. 

“What are you thinking, babe?” she asked quietly. 

“How do you feel about me taking a few photos?” 

Agatha’s eyes widened at the thought. 

“It’ll give you time to just exist for a moment… enjoy the feeling,” Rio continued. 

Agatha swallowed. 

“You think photography counts as kink exploration?” Agatha asked genuinely. 

“I think it falls into the category of exhibitionism, yes. And then, once I’m developing the film in a darkroom, I think it would also count as voyeurism.”

Fuck. 

Agatha could literally feel herself dripping. 

“Also regardless of your ground rules this is something I would want to ask explicit permission.” 

The way Rio worded that made Agatha curious. 

“This… isn’t something you’ve done before?” 

Rio shook her head no. 

Agatha brushed Rio’s side swept bangs out of her face with her left hand and smiled coyly. 

“Okay. Go get your camera.” 

Rio only left the room for a minute or so, but the moment to herself gave Agatha the time to think of a request of her own. 

“I have an amendment to our agreement,” she told Rio as she came back in the room. 

“Yes?” 

“You owe me one kiss for each photo you take.” 

Agatha had been thinking about it since Rio brought it up earlier. And she had also been thinking about the distinct lack of kisses since then. 

“Okay… if that’s what you want,” Rio agreed. She reached out and held Agatha’s chin with two fingers, leaning in for a kiss. But then she pressed Agatha’s face to the side and her lips landed on Agatha’s temple instead. A cruel reminder of what Agatha had pulled with her earlier. 

Agatha’s face was turned away from Rio, so she didn’t see her pick up the camera and frame the shot. But she did hear the click of the shutter. 

Agatha then felt the bed dip a little as Rio leaned in again. This time her lips landed on Agatha’s exposed neck. Agatha felt her tongue. Then her teeth. Rio took her time on a bite that was sure to leave a mark. 

Agatha expected to hear the camera click again, but instead she felt one of Rio’s fingers trace over the spot. 

“We’re going to let that turn purple,” Rio said quietly.

She then traced a finger next to one of Agatha’s nipples. They were hard. Dark pink. Begging to be touched. 

Click. 

Agatha felt Rio’s lips on an exposed rib this time. 

Agatha started to feel fuzzy again. Her limbs felt heavy and light simultaneously. Time seemed to slow down. She moved her right hand up to grasp at the ropes tied around to chest so that she didn’t risk touching Rio with that hand. 

Click. 

Another kiss, this time on her torso below her ribs. 

Rio then reached and grabbed the teardrop knot between Agatha’s exposed breasts. She pulled, elevating Agatha’s upper body a few inches off the bed. 

“Look at me, baby,” Rio commanded. 

Agatha bit her lower lip at the sound of the pet name and turned her head to lock eyes with Rio. 

Click. 

Rio let go and Agatha fell back. 

Click. 

Agatha grabbed Rio with her left hand. 

“That was two,” Agatha whispered. 

Rio wrapped her fingers around Agatha’s wrist and pulled Agatha’s hand close enough so that she could kiss her palm. One. Two. 

“Better,” Agatha said and closed her eyes again. 

She felt Rio shift and heard the camera from higher up, a different angle. 

Agatha felt a kiss land on her hip and then felt Rio link two fingers under the middle knot on her left thigh. Rio pulled slowly, spreading Agatha’s legs and leaving her exposed. 

Agatha heard the shutter click again, followed by the feeling of Rio’s lips between the ropes on her left thigh. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. This is torture.” 

“Are you not enjoying this?” Rio asked earnestly. 

“You know this isn’t what I meant when I said kiss,” the frustrated tone in Agatha’s voice very apparent. 

Rio laughed before she answered with “I’m admiring my work.” 

“You just took a photo of the one spot on my body where there are no ropes.” 

“Oh so you’re saying you got this wet all by yourself?” Rio teased. 

Agatha clenched around nothing. 

Another click of the shutter, another soft kiss on Agatha’s hip bone. 

“This is malicious compliance,” Agatha said while laughing. “I didn’t consent to this one. This is a new kink. A blatant disregard of ground rule number two.” 

Rio immediately stopped and sat up to look at Agatha. 

“Yellow?” 

Agatha thought about it for a moment. 

“No.”

“Okay. Then I have seven more photos left on this roll.”

“Seven?!?”

“Seven.”

Agatha closed her eyes and gripped the ropes at the top of her thighs. She arched her back and let out an exasperated “Fucckkkk.”  

Click. Kiss. 

“Rio, please.” 

Silence. 

“Say it again.” 

“Please, I am begging you.”

“No… the other part.” 

Agatha opened her eyes and looked at Rio. Wait… had she really not said her name out loud this whole time? She said it in her head one thousand times since she first said it out loud at the bar. She really never vocalized it since then? 

Agatha’s heart shattered a little at the realization. 

But she knew immediately how to rectify this…

“Please, Rio. I need you.” 

Rio set the camera down. 

“Rio, I’ve missed you so much.” 

Agatha watched Rio move and straddle her hips. Hovering above her, not fully touching. Yet. 

“No one has ever made me feel like this, Rio.” 

With that, Rio grabbed the teardrop knot on Agatha’s chest again, bringing them closer to each other. Almost face to face, but far enough away to maintain eye contact. 

“Rio, please,” Agatha said one more time. 

And then Rio pulled Agatha closer, their lips finally crashing against each other. 

Every nerve in Agatha’s body lit up, like physically reconnecting with Rio this way completed some electrical circuit that had been broken for so long. If Agatha could remember words right now, she’d be thinking about electrical resonance. And mechanical resonance. And acoustic resonance. But all she could think about in that moment was Rio. 

She felt Rio bite at her lower lip and then she felt Rio’s tongue against her own. The feeling was overwhelming. Familiar, but new. Safe, but absolutely euphoric. 

Rio pushed Agatha back to lay flat on the bed again, never breaking the kiss. Her hands landed on Agatha’s breasts abruptly, no longer the gentle lingering touch from before. 

Rio then moved to reattach her lips to the blossoming bruise on Agatha’s neck. 

“Fuck. Rio. This feels so good.” 

Rio sinks her teeth into the mark at the same time she roughly twists both of Agatha’s nipples.

“Rio...” Agatha tried to warn her. 

Rio doesn’t stop and Agatha’s not sure if she’ll survive this, feeling her pulse throbbing in her neck under Rio’s mouth. Agatha threads both hands into Rio’s hair and pulls her back into a kiss.  

Agatha feels fuzzy and sharp all at the same time. Fuck this isn’t supposed to happen this quickly. But she lets herself surrendered into the feeling. 

“Fuck. Rio. F-fucckkk,” Agatha whispers as her orgasm sends electricity circling through her nerves. 

Rio looks at Agatha and bites her own lower lip, little tremors running through her in waves. 

“Rio. Did you just climax to hearing your own name?”

“No. I climaxed to hearing your voice. Staying my name. While you climaxed. Which is very different.” 

Agatha let out a giggle. 

“C’mere babe.” 

Rio leaned in to kiss Agatha again, finally settling her hips and body fully against her, triggering another round of little aftershocks in both of them. 

“Fuck me again,” Agatha whispered. 

“Technically… I have yet to fuck you a first time. If we’re keeping count.” 

“Rio Vidal, I better feel your mouth on my fucking cunt in the next seven seconds…” 

Rio didn’t need to be told twice. 

Agatha felt Rio move down. Pull on the ropes to drag Agatha’s legs further apart. Settle in. 

Agatha inhaled. 

The moment Agatha felt Rio’s tongue, she knew she wasn’t going to last long again. It felt so warm. Surprisingly strong as it parted Agatha’s folds. Slowly traveling from her entrance up… almost to her clit, then pull away. 

Agatha tried to exhale, but it came out more like a whimper. 

Rio slipped her arms under Agatha’s thighs, shifting Agatha’s hips upward. Agatha then felt Rio’s arms anchor around her hips, clasping onto the ropes at the top of her thighs and pulling Agatha in closer. Her own Rio-shaped hip harness. 

That’s when Agatha felt Rio’s tongue dip inside her… while her hands started rocking Agatha’s hips back and forth, effectively making Agatha fuck herself on Rio’s tongue. 

“Oh. My. God. Fuckkkkkk.” 

Agatha did not last long. 

“Again, Rio.” 

If Agatha could think coherent thoughts right now, she’d realize she’s already come twice without Rio even touching her clit. But Agatha couldn’t think coherent thoughts right now. 

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Agatha whispered under her breath, tempo matching how Rio  pulled her hips closer. Over and over. The repetition of the movement had Agatha feeling like she was in a trance. 

Fuck how was Rio so deep? Why does this feel so good? Can this last forever? 

Agatha didn’t realize she said those things out loud. But when Rio moaned in response, Agatha felt it everywhere. Nerves sparking with energy. Her body had never felt like this before. 

Rio pulled Agatha closer one more time and then held her still. Agatha reached her left hand down to hold Rio’s head in place while she arched her hips up, as much as she could against the confines of the ropes around her legs. 

Agatha felt herself fall over the edge again, hips moving on their own accord against Rio’s face. 

That’s three. 

She didn’t even hear herself scream. But she felt the vibration in her throat when she made the sound. 

This time is took her a moment to fully come back to her body. The feeling of Rio lightly kissing the inside of her thigh bringing her back. 

“Again.” 

She felt Rio smile against her leg before finally finally finally connecting with Agatha’s clit. Lips. Tongue. Teeth. Rio took over and Agatha relaxed into the feeling, letting herself melt into the bed. 

“Don’t stop,” Agatha let out. 

She inhaled and held her breath, just focusing on the things she could feel. The ropes against her skin. Rio’s hair tangled in her fingers. That’s when she consciously realized she could hear how wet Rio had made her. Fuck. 

“Please don’t stop,” she whispered. 

Instead of feeling the usual building tension that pulled everything tight, Agatha surrendered to the release. Letting the energy radiate out instead of implode in. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck… Rio… F-UH-CK.” 

Agatha always kind of assumed female ejaculation was a myth… Rio just proved her wrong. 

“That was so fucking hot,” Rio said, a little out of breath. 

Agatha looked down and grabbed Rio by the fabric of her vest. 

“Why aren’t you naked?” Agatha replied, breath equally as ragged. 

Agatha was grateful Rio had decided to leave Agatha’s arms unrestricted. It let her hands reach for the buttons on Rio’s vest.

“Fucking hypocrite,” Agatha laughed when she realized Rio was also completely bare underneath. 

“Are you complaining though?” 

Agatha reached up to let her fingers touch an inked vine that wrapped around Rio’s rib cage. 

“No… no, I’m not,” Agatha replied softly, all vitriol lost in her voice. She was so enthralled with uncovering this hidden element of her tattoo… she thought it was just a half sleeve of vining leaves on each arm. But more leaves were secretly hidden under the armor of Rio’s vest. 

“Take it off, please,” Agatha pleaded. 

Rio sat back, letting the vest fall off her shoulders and then tossed it onto the pile on the chair. 

“These too, please,” Agatha tapped on Rio’s dark wash jeans. 

Rio stood. Undid her belt. Released the top button. Slide the zipper down. And exposed herself. 

Agatha’s breath became even more ragged. 

“You’re so fucking hot, babe,” Agatha managed. Unintentionally echoing Rio’s words. Apparently they were the only words rattling around in her head at the moment. 

Rio raised one foot to the bed frame, unlacing and removing her boot. Then switched legs and did the same to the other. She let her slouchy jeans slide down her legs and she turned momentarily to toss them toward the pile as well. 

That’s when Agatha audibly gasped, seeing the inked leaves covering the expanse of Rio’s entire upper back from shoulders to torso. 

Vines permanently marked into Rio’s skin, unrooted but stemming from her shoulder blades… simultaneously falling down her back and twisting up and around her arms… encasing her rib cage… a chest harness she gets to secretly wear under the armor of her clothes. Every day. And Agatha has the privilege it see it. 

“Rio, I need you inside me.” 

Agatha watched as Rio wrapped her long fingers around the base of the dildo secured in the o ring of her strap. 

“Please.” 

Rio took a step forward and Agatha instinctively spread her legs wider. 

She felt her pulse start racing again as Rio joined her on the bed and positioned herself in the space Agatha made. 

With her hand still holding onto her own length, Rio moved it a little. Letting the tip tap softly against Agatha’s clit repeatedly. 

“Don’t tease me, I need you.”

And then Rio adjusted her grip a little lower and forced the tip to slide up and down Agatha’s wet folds. 

Agatha looked down mesmerized. The silicone glistening with the evidence of her desire. She bit her lower lip to try to contain a moan… unsuccessfully.  

“You’re so cute when you’re desperate,” Rio spoke softly. 

Agatha felt Rio press against her entrance gently and hold herself in place. 

“And so wet. You don’t even need any lube… do you need my fingers first or are you ready to take me raw?” 

Agatha whimpered and reached out to pull Rio closer by one of the buckles holding the strap in place around her hip. With her left hand, of course. 

“I’ll take that as a yes, you’re ready for me,” Rio said before pushing herself in a little deeper. 

Deeper, but… not enough. 

The pitch of Agatha’s moan was something neither of them had heard before. 

“Does it feel good babe? I want to make sure you feel good before I give you everything.” 

Agatha wasn’t used to Rio being so vocal in bed. But she now understands the appeal of a woman being vocal about what she wants. 

“Please, I need more… it feels so good,” Agatha whimpered. 

Rio pushed in closer, slowly letting herself get swallowed by Agatha’s weeping cunt. 

Agatha feels acutely aware of how the leather and metal press into her skin since there’s no rope restraining her hips. She could also feel herself pulsing around Rio. 

“Tell me how it feels now.” 

“Deep… thick… hard…” 

“And how do you feel?” 

“Full. I feel so full. I need more… please.”

Agatha’s hands had attached themselves to Rio’s inked ribs. It gave Rio space to put her forearms on the bed next to Agatha’s head, holding up her weight. 

Rio started to roll her hips, slowly moving inside Agatha. The sound of the small movements echoing in the quiet room. 

“Can you come like this?” Rio asked softly. 

“Yea just don’t stop.” 

“Can I kiss you again?” 

Agatha answered by pulling Rio closer and reaching up a little to find her lips. She closed her eyes and fell deeper into the haze that surrounded her. She moaned into the kiss when she felt Rio’s tongue. And she felt her body tremor a little at the sensation of Rio’s hard nipples brushing back and forth against her own. It made her aware of all the knots running down her arms and securing her legs, little pressure points keeping her contained.

Rio kept her pace, slowly fucking Agatha. The consistent pace both soothing and frustrating at the same time. 

Agatha needed air. She pulled away a little to gasp, filling her lungs with oxygen and letting it seep into her bloodstream. 

“I’m so close, Rio,” Agatha whispered. 

When she felt Rio press a soft kiss to the bruise on her neck, everything fell apart. 

The way she moaned Rio’s name while her orgasm crashed over her clearly affected Rio, who finally let her body fully sink closer into Agatha. 

Agatha shuttered under the grounding force of Rio. She wrapped her arms around Rio’s torso, pressing her palms flat against her back. Able to feel the energy pulsing between them tingle against her hands. While also feeling herself pulsing around Rio. Resonant. 

“Please don’t stop, Rio. I know you’re close. Don’t stop, baby.”

Agatha felt Rio’s hips pick up pace, pressing deeper and harder now. 

“It feels so good. You feel so good, Rio…. 

I need you. I need this so bad. 

Fuck. 

Please, yes that’s it… 

I want to feel you come while you’re inside me. 

I want to feel full…

Please, Rio, make me feel full.” 

Agatha will never forget the sound of how Rio moaned her name when she released. Or the feeling of their heart rates syncing up in the moments after. 

“Can you go again, pretty boy?” Agatha asked. 

Rio’s brow tensed and she bite her lower lip, nodding her head and then settling her forehead against Agatha’s shoulder. 

Agatha wasn’t sure what she liked better, the sharp feeling of the rope against her skin or the soft feeling of Rio when she settled the weight of her head somewhere on Agatha’s body. Anywhere. But feeling both felt right. 

“Harder, Rio I can take it… I need to feel you deeper.” 

Agatha was surprised to feel Rio’s fingers slip under the ropes just above the knot on her chest. She pressed her palms flat on Agatha, using her as leverage to thrust her own hips more forcefully. 

“Fuck, baby your cock feels so good inside me. You’re so deep… I feel you everywhere. I love that I make you so hard. I love that you make me feel so good. No one else knows how to fuck me the way I need it.” 

“I’m close… fuck…” Rio says, her voice low and strained. Her eyes closed and her lips pressed tight together after letting the admission slip out. 

“Rio, look at me.” 

Rio opened her eyes and found Agatha’s gaze. 

“There you are… I see you, babe,” Agatha whispered.  

Rio whimpered. 

“So cute when you’re about to come inside me, handsome.” 

That might have broke Rio in that moment. The way her body froze and then fell apart, shuttering in waves, was beautiful. 

It was also fucking hot and caused Agatha to fall right back over the edge again with her.

Rio let her body collapse, falling into Agatha’s embrace. Agatha knew Rio needed a moment to recover. So she let her finger tips gently trace the groove of Rio’s spine under the vines. 

It gave Agatha the time to land back her her body as well. Notice her own breath. Enjoy the ache. Commit the feeling of Rio’s ropes against her skin to memory. 

Agatha wasn’t certain, but she also thought she felt tears on her shoulder where Rio had rested her head. 

“Color?” Agatha asked quietly. 

“Green,” Rio said softly with an exhale. 

Agatha just held Rio close for a while. Feeling grounded. Secure. Comfortably full. 

Eventually she felt Rio stir. 

“Okay I need to get you out of these ropes. You’ve been tied up way longer than I usually let people be on their first time.”

The abruptness of the statement and all its the implications hit Agatha in her gut. 

“Oh… okay, yea.” 

Agatha suddenly felt overheated. A little queasy. Acutely aware of how loudly her heart was beating. 

Rio must have been attuned to the shift in Agatha’s tone and course-corrected. 

Agatha could feel Rio’s chest expand against her own when Rio took a deep breathe. Did Rio always do this with people? The quiet intimacy of just co-existing. It made her stomach feel sour. 

Rio placed a gentle kiss on Agatha’s temple and brushed a piece of her wild hair off her face. 

“I just want to keep you safe, baby. I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

“It… it’s okay… I think,” Agatha stuttered. 

“No it’s not.” 

Agatha felt Rio’s chest press against her again. She also felt numb inside all the ties wrapped around her body. Existing at all feeling hard. 

“What do you need from me right now? How can I make you feel better?” Rio said, a warm confidence back in her voice when she whispered it. 

Agatha thought about it for a moment, checking in with herself to figure out the answer. 

“I liked that tapping thing you did earlier…that helped.” 

Rio traced her fingers along Agatha’s cheekbones and then started tapping lightly. When Agatha’s breath slowed down and her heart rate stabilized a little, Rio slide her hands down and repeated the same thing on Agatha’s collarbones. Lightly tracing the bones several times and then resuming the taps right next to where the ropes crossed over the bones. 

Agatha’s thoughts and body drifted back into the warm safe feeling that was starting to feeling familiar. 

“Thank you,” she whispered. “It’s helping.” 

Rio then kissed Agatha’s sternum, just below where her collarbones met and just above the teardrop knot. 

Agatha shivered and clenched around Rio. 

“Are you ready? For me to pull out?” 

“If you must,” Agatha said quietly. 

Rio adjusted and reached down to gently guide herself out. And then unbuckled the side of her strap on to take it off. 

Agatha wrapped her arms around her own chest, linking her fingers under the ropes with one hand and tracing the pattern of the teardrop knot with the other. 

Rio started untying the knots in reverse order, starting with her legs and then her arms. Agatha still clinging to the knot on her chest with alternating hands as Rio tended to one arm and then the other. 

“You like this?” Rio asked while touching the chest harness. 

Agatha nodded her head quietly. 

“I have some macrame rope. It’s cotton. Thinner cord. So it’s softer and smaller. Any time you want, I can tie one up quick. We can try different designs. Decorative. Like something you could wear under your clothes. Not for play, just for…”

Security? Agatha’s brain offered when Rio trailed off. 

“I’d like that,” are the words she said out loud though. 

Rio started doing her preliminary check for any bruises or rope burn. 

“How do you feel?” she asked. 

“Good. Green.” Agatha answered. 

Rio kissed her cheek and collected her accessories to go clean them. She returned with a warm wet washcloth and bruise balm.  

“Was it like you imagined?” Rio asked curiously. 

“Better.” 

Rio didn’t push any further, happy with the extent of the debrief for now. 

After she finished checking over Agatha’s body again with the washcloth, she opened the little container of balm. 

When Agatha inhaled she could smell the scent of arnica and shea butter. It felt comforting. 

Rio dipped her finger in and smeared a little bit on the mark on Agatha’s neck. 

Agatha didn’t realize she was frowning until Rio told her she’s make another mark once this one started to fade. 

“Still feeling okay?” 

“Hmm yes,” Agatha hummed. 

“Are you good for me to go make you tea?” Rio asked. 

“Water is okay. But I do need a snack.”

“Salty or sweet?” Rio asked.

“Sweet please. Just something small.” 

Rio then collected the rope and put it away. She walked past the stereo on her dresser and pressed play, starting up a cassette that was already in place. 

Of course the first song was Rhiannnon. Agatha closed her eyes and listened. 

“Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night

And wouldn't you love to love her?

Takes to the sky like a bird in flight

And who will be her lover?

All your life you've never seen

A woman taken by the wind

Would you stay if she promised you heaven?

Will you ever win?

She is like a cat in the dark

And then she is the darkness…”

When Rio returned, she had a little dollop of something creamy on her middle finger.

“Open up, babe,” she commanded. 

Agatha’s jaw dropped without a thought. She felt Rio’s finger on her tongue and then scrap against her lower teeth. Rio then tapped Agatha’s lips with that finger.

“Close… let it melt… swallow.”

Agatha felt fuzzy again. 

“That was cruel.” 

“I thought you liked sunflower honey?”

“I do. I just don’t like that the first time I felt your fingers inside me in three years was a tease.” 

Rio laughed and fell in bed, pulling Agatha into a cuddle. 

“Would you ever consider being art?” Agatha asked while tracing the ink of a vine on Rio’s left shoulder, down to the leaf that landed just above her heart. 

“And risk damaging my tattoos?”

“I can avoid them. You’d look so pretty with my ropes crisscrossing your skin,” Agatha replied. 

“If you wanna tie me up… you can,” Rio said a little flustered. 

“Really?”

“Yes. But not tonight, we need to sleep soon.” 

Agatha pouted and Rio laughed. 

When she heard the song change, Agatha froze. She took a deep breath and let the lyrics wash over her.

This time when the tears started to well in her eyes, she felt them spill over and run down her face. They mirrored the ones on Rio’s cheeks. 

“Time casts a spell on you

but you won't forget me 

I know I could have loved you 

but you would not let me.”

“I can’t believe you put this song on your mixed tape for a play date with a stranger,” Agatha commented. 

“The theme is obviously Stevie Nicks songs, babe.”

“Okay but… Silver Springs?” 

“Yea. Well. Maybe I’m a masochist.” 

Agatha reached up to touch Rio’s face and bring her gaze down. 

Agatha sang the words to Rio quietly. 

“I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you… give me just a chance. You will never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you.” 

Rio swallowed and pressed a kiss to Agatha’s temple. 

“Is it crazy to say I love you right now?” Agatha asked. “After only a few hours.” 

“I never stopped loving you,” Rio replied confidently. 

The world might as well have stopped spinning. 

Agatha blinked. 

“Even after three years?”

“Agatha, I would love you for three hundred. Even if I never saw you again.” 

Agatha’s lower lip quivered. Her jaw tightened. She shoulders shook. The sound of the sob she let out was haunting. 

Rio wrapped her arms around her, pressing Agatha to her chest. Hands solidly on Agatha’s back so she felt secure, letting her cry. 

Eventually Agatha’s breath slowed and she was able to exist in the room again and not just in her feelings. Until she heard the first few chords of Gold Dust Woman. 

When Agatha told Rio that this was her favorite song, she hadn’t consciously realized it was because the lyrics reminded her of Rio. Or maybe… they hadn’t yet? 

“Well, did she make you cry

Make you break down

Shatter your illusions of love?

And is it over now, do you know how?

To pick up the pieces and go home…”

Agatha started crying again. It felt cathartic. Like a heaviness that had lived in her chest for three years was finally melting away. 

“I’m sorry,” Agatha said quietly when she could catch her breath.

“Don’t ever apologize for feeling your feelings. I like seeing you be vulnerable. It’s… different. Than before.” 

Agatha was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss Rio. She let herself. 

Rio kissed her back and it started to get heated before Rio pulled back and smiled softly. 

“Agatha, we need to sleep.”

“But I haven’t touched you yet.” 

“Tomorrow. We need sleep.” 

“Rio, you know I love morning sex but you sleep in sooooo late. Don’t make me wait.” 

“Wake me up then.” 

“But you sleep like the dead.” 

“Try harder.” 

Agatha didn’t reply immediately. 

“Or are you not up for the challenge?” 

Agatha looked at Rio with a sparkle in her eyes.

If anyone could pull Rio from the dead of sleep and back into her corporal form, it’s Agatha. 

Notes:

our little black {heart} widow spider rio fka victoria

do you love her bc I love her 🖤

also if still haven’t listened to Gold Dust Woman yet… I am begging you please 🙏🏻

((( and Rhiannon too tbh… you won’t catch *me* accusing our beloved jac of plagiarizing stephanie nicks…. but guys…. the lyrics of both feel awfully similar to a certain plot 👀 )))