Chapter Text
Lucy's eyes slowly blinked open under the fog of sleep. A dull ache immediately registering in her neck. She groaned, discovering the cause of her discomfort was that she had fallen asleep sitting up on the couch. She rolled her shoulders in an effort to stretch out her aching muscles.
She glanced around, trying to get her bearings. The room was bright, daylight still streaming through the apartment. She still felt tired but no longer as exhausted as she had been since she had started night shift, meaning she must have gotten at least a few hours sleep.
Then it hit her…..Tim. Tim had been here when she got home this morning. There in her kitchen, preparing all her favorite foods so she could focus on getting rest and not have to worry about cooking. Not on a whim, he had planned it, having to shop for groceries ahead of time. He had arranged it with Celina to let him in the apartment, even though he still had his own key. He wouldn’t want to overstep.
The very idea that notoriously private Tim Bradford would allow Celina, his subordinate, this insight into his life was shcoking. Warmth flooded through her chest at the thoughtfulness of his gesture. God, she loved this man.
Though she desperately needed the sleep, she was deeply disappointed that he had left, immediately missing him.
They had barely seen each other since she had switched shifts and even thought it was just a few days ago it was already wearing on her. She was willing to be it was equally wearing on him, judging by the complaints about his increasingly foul mood from Miles that she had been hearing about through Celina.
She was eager to talk things out and she had been hopeful that it was finally going to happen when he had asked to see her on their shared day off, today.
They hadnt made a definitive plan, though she had expected that it would be later in the day, perhaps dinner, once she had gotten some sleep after her shift.
As the haze started to clear from her brain she remembered that he had been talking as she was unknowingly drifting off to sleep.
THE conversation. And she had fallen asleep when he had just gotten started.
She groaned and slammed a pillow into her face.
She wracked her brain trying to remember his words.
He had been thinking about what they had been doing he said, about what might happen now that she was a sergeant. The last thing she remembered is him saying he wasn’t making any assumptions about their future. She frowned at this. Did he really not know that she still loves him? That she always will? And still very much wants him.
A pang of guilt struck her at having held him at arms length, even through their repeated hookups. She felt the need to protect herself by putting up her own walls while her heart healed from the devastation he had caused when he walked away.
Was there more that she missed? Or did it end there if he realized she had fallen asleep.
Try as she might, she couldn’t remember anything more.
She needed to know what he had said, or planned to say if he hadnt gotten it out. Right now, she decided.
She hauled herself up off the couch and headed straight for the bathroom. Not wanting to delay her departure by having to dry and style her hair, she quickly put it up before stepping into the shower. The hot water helping relieve the tension in her neck and shoulders while washing the last of the haze away, clearing her mind.
She chose his favorite scented body and body mist, longing for the feeling of his face pressed into her neck, inhaling her scent and ghosting her skin with kisses as he had done so many times before.
She grinned as she selected a V neck top, picturing his eyes drifting to her chest as they did every single time. Her loved her chest. Her loved her everything. When he looked at her with those eyes he made her feel wanted in a way she never had before and simultaneously like she was the most precious thing in the world to him.
She paired the top with a skirt, for easy access, in the hopeful expectation that she wouldn’t stay dressed long.
She quickly applied her make-up, leaving her skin glowing and bright, a miracle she thought after working all night. Her mascara and eyeliner were a bold contrast to her chestnut colored eyes, a swipe of lipstick finishing off her look.
She went to her jewelry box to retrieve the simple gold necklace he had given her for Valentine’s day when they were together. She smiled to herself, gripping the pendant hanging from her neck between her fingers, remembering the look on his face when his eyes fell on it this last Valentine’s Day when she had worn it to the gala.
Giving herself a final once over in the mirror she nodded in pleased approval and was off, grabbing her keys and phone off the counter as she made her way out the door.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Tim's truck parked in his driveway when she pulled up. She had risked heading over without checking with him to see if he was even there, wanting to surprise him. She knew he would be understanding of her need for rest but would still have left disappointed after trying to initiate the long awaited conversation this morning.
She took a deep breath to settle her nerves before knocking on his door. “You can do this" she said, hyping herself up as she raised her hand to knock. There was no turning back now, and she didn’t want to.
He tilted his head with a lop sided grin as he took in the unexpected sight of her on his doorstep.
“Hey sleeping beauty" he greeted her playfully, his gaze immediately falling on the necklace around her neck.
She smiled in satisfaction at getting exactly the result she had hoped for when she had put it on.
Kojo trotted over excitedly to greet her, tail going a hundred miles and hour. She knelt to greet him properly, providing him with his favorite butt scratch, much to his satisfaction as he stretched his back legs out and grunted in response.
“Yeah, sorry about that" she said, with a slight frown, looking up at Tim.
“Don’t be, you needed the sleep. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea on my part" he shrugged.
She watched him, giving Kojo a final pat on the back before standing to face him.
“I think it was the sweetest idea ever. I was just disappointed to wake up and find you gone already" she told him, watching him.
“I didn’t think it would be appropriate for me to sit there and watch you sleep under the circumstances” he said with a slight chuckle.
“Then we should change those circumstances” she told him boldly, taking a step closer and looking up at him expectantly.
He grinned happily. “Yeah? You want that?” he asked hopefully.
She nodded slightly as she moved in, leaning up to brush her lips against his in a soft kiss. He put his hand on her cheek and they shared a few more sweet kisses before pulling back. She kept her hands on his sides, looking up at him. “I know you were trying to talk about us this morning, I remember the beginning of it. Can we talk now?” she asked hopefully.
“Yeah, I'd like that. Let's sit" he said, moving his hand to her lower back to guide her over to the couch.
They sat next to each other, in close proximity but turned so they were facing each other.
Lucy reached out, resting her hand on his thigh in comforting contact. He covered it with his own, rubbing slow circles over the back of her hand with his thumb.
They stared at each other, mentally preparing themselves for what was to come.
“I'll start" she said, taking a deep breath then smiling softly at him, putting him instantly at ease.
“I never not wanted you, and I definitely didn’t stop loving you. In fact I think I’ve fallen even more in love with you if that’s possible. I just needed time, to heal and to get to a place where I could forgive you. I hate that this happened but that doesn’t mean we cant move forward, I mean if that’s what you want too" she grinned, clearly knowing that’s exactly what he wants.
He raised his eyebrows “Are you kidding? That’s all I want.” he smiled adoringly. “I know I cant change what happened but what I can do is promise you that it will never happen again" he told her.
“I never thought it would have happened before" she frowned at the memory. “I thought we were happy. I thought we were strong, then you just took off and completely shut me out. It hurt that you let Lopez help you instead of me. Then I thought we had a plan to figure things out together but instead you completely pulled the rug out from under me and left me, telling me I deserved better but that should have been my choice" she told him, expressing her feelings about the break up for the first time.
“I know" he nodded sadly, swallowing hard. “In my head I was protecting you from the Ray situation. I know you would have done anything to help me but I couldn’t risk you getting into trouble over my mistakes. You getting me into Metro already cost you the detective spot you wanted and I couldn’t stand thinking I might damage your career even more, or even worse cost you the career you love entirely. And I didn’t go to Lopez, she tracked me down after you talked to her. I tried to keep her out of it too but she insisted, and she pointed out that Wesley is loaded and she would be okay if she got fired but you wouldn’t. We were happy, God Lucy you have to know that. I was happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I never wanted to break up but after lying to Grey and IA and finding out I had been kicked out of Metro, everything just came crashing down. All I could hear was my dad's voice in my head, telling me I was a failure, that I didn’t deserve anything good, that I don’t deserve you and in that moment I believed it. I will regret that decision for the rest of my life, knowing that I caused you any pain kills me. I know the damage I did" he said, with a deep regretful sigh.
“But after a lot of therapy, which I went to because of you" he pointed out with a grateful smile. “I know why I did it, and I've been doing the work, I have, to fix what I broke. So you can believe me when I tell you, Lucy, I will never hurt you like that again" he told her, assuredly.
“I believe that" she nodded, holding his gaze. “You needed time to heal too"
“I did. I didn’t even realize some of that stuff was in there. I had locked it away but it broke free and I lost control, but it's better now, I've addressed it and learned healthier thinking and coping mechanism so that I don’t repeat those mistakes and I will continue to work on myself" he told her.
“And you did that all on your own. I'm proud of you" she smiled lovingly. “I know that wasn’t easy for you to do"
“It wasn’t, but it was necessary. I needed to get my head straight for me but what really kept me going through the hard parts was the hope of becoming a better man for you, being able to be the partner you deserve" he said honestly.
“You've always been a good man. I've seen that in you since the day we met.” She smiled tenderly.
“I just need you to talk to me, to let me in, and not make decisions for me. I get that its in your nature to be protective and that you’re used to being in charge and making decisions but it cant work that way in our relationship, I get a say. Look things are going to happen, we are going to fight, we always have" she grinned with a shrug, making him chuckle in agreement.
“But I will always choose you.” She said covering his hand with hers. “There's no doubt in my mind that we can get through anything if we do it together" she told him, smiling brightly. “What do you think?”
He nodded eagerly, overcome with emotion. He swallowed hard at the weight of it.
“I think you've just made me the happiest man in the world.” He grinned, his face so full of love for her.
“I love you so much, more than I can really put into words but I’ll show you everyday of my life. I'm always going to try and protect you, I cant help that, but I promise I wont ever take the choice from you ever again and if I slip up, I know you'll gladly put me in check" he teased, making her laugh.
“Yeah I will" she agreed. “I love you" she said, moving one hand to the back of his head as she leaned in to kiss him.
He leaned forward, reaching out to grab her waist and pull her into his lap. She giggled against his lips and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
He sighed contentedly and ran his hands up her back, holding her close against him. His face gravitated to her neck when he registered the familiar scent. He pressed his nose against her skin and inhaled deeply before peppering her skin in the softest of kisses, making her smile at the show of affection she had missed so much.
After a minute she pulled back to look at him. “You know we've got a lot of sexy time to make up for" she grinned flirtingly.
“And I plan on it" he grinned back. “I just want to hold you for another minute" he said, and she happily complied, allowing him to pull her body back flush against his, holding her tightly in his strong arms. They both found comfort in each other's embrace, knowing they would never leave it again.