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Ichigo tries to hold his breath, to make as little noise as possible.
“Ichigo?” Yuzu’s voice calls, clear as day, from just outside of his closet. He wants to peer through the slight crack in the door, but he knows it’s too much of a risk.
If his little sister opens the closet door and finds him in there stripped down to nothing but his boxers, with Rukia in his lap wearing nothing but her panties, his life is pretty much done for. He’ll have to flee to Soul Society, because there’s no chance of him ever showing his face around his family ever again.
Rukia understands the assignment perfectly well, sitting absolutely still in his lap. The hand he has over her mouth is almost certainly unnecessary, but he doesn’t dare move. If he shifts too much, then he’s definitely going to bump against something and catch Yuzu’s attention.
C’mon, Yuzu— it’s not like there’s anywhere in my room to look! Why are you still here?!
“I could have sworn Ichigo was in his room…” Yuzu murmurs to herself. “Where did he go?”
Rukia shifts slightly in his lap. Impatience or comfort, he’s not sure which. She doesn’t have to worry about bumping into stuff like he does— she actually fits in his closet, which she proved by living in it for weeks— but considering she’s in his lap, it’s not exactly ideal.
Mostly because Ichigo had heard his doorknob turning while the two of them were in the middle of getting hot and heavy, giving them no time to do anything but jump into the closet and hide, and his heart is racing out of fear of discovery rather than excitement— his dick hasn’t gotten the message.
There’s no way Rukia can’t feel it pressing against her ass. Ichigo sucks a breath in through his teeth as quietly as he can as he hears Yuzu wandering around his room without a care in the world, like he’s going to be hiding in one of his desk drawers or something.
He can only hope that she doesn’t notice there’s a skirt and blouse under the pile of his own clothes sitting at the foot of his bed.
Rukia shifts in his lap again, her ass pressing against him, and Ichigo has to clap a hand over his own mouth to stop himself from making any noise. The first two times, he’s willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she’s just squirming or trying to listen for Yuzu’s movements— but the third time is where he draws the line.
There’s no way you’re not doing that on purpose, he thinks, wanting to snap at her, but that would kind of ruin the whole ‘hiding’ thing. Instead he glares at the back of her head and hopes that he can somehow transmit the message to her telepathically.
Either it works, or his comedic timing is impeccable, because Rukia turns her head to look at him. He pulls his hand away from her mouth instinctively, even though it would be pretty disastrous if she were to say something right now— but instead of speaking, she smirks at him.
Ichigo feels the vein in the side of his head throbbing almost as hard as his cock as she grinds against him, seemingly having way too much fun teasing him while his little sister is right outside. ‘Angry’ and ‘horny’ are two feelings which get mixed up in his brain a lot of the time with Rukia, and she definitely does it on purpose more often than not— but he’d assumed, for really no reason, that she would be more mature about it when it came to not mentally scarring his little sister for the rest of her life.
“Oh well… I guess I’ll just wrap up his dinner and leave it in the fridge,” Yuzu says, talking to herself, and as soon as he hears his bedroom door close, all Hell breaks loose.
Ichigo doesn’t even bother waiting until Yuzu would be out of hearing range to throw the closet door open, scooping up Rukia like she weighs nothing, which she pretty much does to him. Jumping out of the closet, he tosses her entire body in the direction of the bed, where she lands with a dull THUMP.
Rukia can’t stop herself from giggling, kicking her feet in the air.
“You should have seen the look on your face,” she says, sounding like his frustration is the most hilarious thing in the world to her, which it probably is knowing Rukia.
“You think this is funny?” he asks, the corner of his eye twitching as he stands by the side of his bed, arms crossed disapprovingly. “What if Yuzu had caught us, huh?”
“I used kido to block her out. She wouldn’t have seen or heard anything.”
“When did you do that?!”
“When you pulled me into the closet! You don’t think I need an incantation to do something like that, do you?”
Rukia pouts at him, as though he’s supposed to apologize for underestimating her kido skills, and that’s the moment Ichigo loses it.
He practically jumps on top of her in his bed. Before she can squeal and draw attention back to them, he slams his mouth against hers.
No matter how annoyed he is with her over pulling that stunt, he thinks it would be a lot better for her to deal with the mess she’s made than keep scolding her for it, when he knows very well that she isn’t going to take responsibility.
Rukia immediately wraps her legs around him, almost by instinct, and surges up into the kiss, not letting Ichigo gain any ground. He throbs in his boxers, his frustration starting to fade into the back of his mind as he simply picks up where the two of them left off, knowing that he can always resume the bickering later—
This time, when he hears the doorknob start to turn, it’s too late for either of them to do anything about it except to freeze. Ichigo feels his heart drop out of the bottom of his chest.
The very masculine ‘oops’ that follows instead of a girlish surprised gasp or shout should be a comfort, but it really isn’t.
“Sorry, kiddo, didn’t realize you were busy— I’ll come back later,” his dad says as he closes the door, without Ichigo even looking over his shoulder.
Ichigo just groans and lets his head hang. It’s like all of his luck has run out completely, all at once, the first time he ever tried to do anything with a girl in his bedroom. He’s more popular when trying to fuck his girlfriend than he is any other time he’s home!
“Well, that was unexpected,” Rukia says, sounding perfectly unbothered by the fact that his dad probably just saw her almost completely naked— or maybe not, since she’s so small most of her was probably hidden by his body entirely.
“Don’t you have any shame?” Ichigo groans, wondering just what kind of messed up sex talk he’s going to get from his father the next time the old man manages to catch him alone. It’s completely ruined the mood for him this time in a way even the possibility of getting caught by his sister hadn’t.
“Not when it comes to your family,” Rukia replies with too much honesty, and he wants to point out that she’s supposed to be a noblewoman or whatever, but Rukia simply wraps her arms around his neck and draws him back in towards her, her legs tightening around his waist. “Now, do you want to finish what we started, or…?”
Ichigo reaches over, grabs a pillow, and shoves it into Rukia’s face, ignoring the indignant squawk she lets out.
She really is too shameless.