When reality broke Yang Jeongin

by Arccurie

Summary:

After a week in Wonderland, returning to the real world breaks the little fox.

Notes:

Thank you for waiting for this part <3!

Your comments made me really happy! You showed me I can create beautiful and interesting stories ^^!

I'll try to finish the next part soon, but it will a short story with, at least, 7 chapter (one for each member minimum).

Once again, thank you for reading <3

Han, Felix, Changbin and Seungmin looked anxious when the others arrived. Han was pacing in the living room, and Changbin was watching him, absently. Felix and Seungmin were cuddling on the sofa, staring at the blank TV screen. Bang Chan had texted the group chat when they had found Jeongin, but he did not inform them they would be late. They apologized, of course, and a minute later everyone sat down to eat.

Minho and Hyunjin were still glued to Jeongin, who just let them be. Hyunjin fed Jeongin bites, making him chuckle before taking them. Minho had one leg on Jeongin’s lap and, from time to time, brushed the maknae’s hand affectionately. Han, Seungmin, and Felix—Changbin was busy gobbling down his food— asked Bang Chan if anything had happened on the street. He said he would explain it in the morning.

After dinner, Jeongin took a quick shower and let Felix and Seungmin inspected his wounds, which were healing properly. After that, he lay down on his bed to watch some TikToks before sleeping. After three videos, someone knocked on the door; Hyunjin and Minho came in, each with a pillow.

“Are you joining us, Minho-hyung?” Jeongin asked, smiling sweetly. The elder nodded and lay down next to him rapidly.

“Can I be your big spoon?” Hyunjin asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

Jeongin nodded, and Hyunjin hopped on the bed, cuddling him. Jeongin handed his phone to Minho, who set it on the nightstand. Jeongin buried his face against Minho’s chest and hummed contentedly at his scent. Minho relaxed instantly.

They fell asleep shortly after, in a loving tangle of warm limbs.

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His week off passed quickly, thankfully. He wanted to get back to work as soon as possible. They had a performance on TV that day, so he had spent the evening before in his bedroom rehearsing Ceremony’s choreography. Minho and Felix looked after him, correcting him and helping if he got too tired.

Now they were in the car on their way to the studio. His hyungs’ pheromones were acrid and sharp. He accepted them because they were worried, and he knew they would not calm down until after the performance. He felt uneasy, too, but only because he was performing in front of their fans for the first time since his time off.

When they reached their dressing room, he greeted the staff with a wide smile. They helped him get changed into his outfit, do his makeup, and style his hair. When he thought they were done, he rose from the chair, but a light tap on his shoulder stopped him.

“I’ll change your scent patch.”

“Huh?” he said, looking at the woman straight in the eye.

“We can smell you even through masks,” she pointed out from behind him. “Your fans don’t need to smell that odor.”

Jeongin heard her even though she tried to mumble. He swallowed and kept quiet—she was right. He was excited and nervous; his pheromones must have turned metallic—bloody…

He looked around to distract himself from the lump in his throat; his gaze met Changbin’s. He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. The Beta rushed toward them.

“Everything okay?” he asked the woman, jaw tight and fists clenched.

“Yes,” she answered with a bow. “You can relax now.”

Jeongin nodded. Once she left, Changbin laced their fingers together and led him to a corner.

“’m fi—”

“You’re shaking, Innie.”

Jeongin’s smile wavered, his breathing quick and shallow. He knew how disgusting, how repulsive, how wrong his pheromones were—how sick people must feel around him… But his hyungs never complained in the past few days. For a second, he let himself believe everyone could accept his scent.

He tried to hold back the tears—he really tried.

Changbin’s brows knit when he saw his face. A low rumble escaped him as he pulled Jeongin into a hug. Jeongin whimpered, his shoulders shaking. He sobbed uncontrollably against the elder’s shoulder.

“What happened?” Bang Chan whispered, stroking Jeongin’s hair.

“The staff made him put on the scent-suppressant patch, hyung.”

“What…?”

“I-it’s fine,” Jeongin said between sobs. “My scent’s disgusting…”

Bang Chan patted Changbin’s forearm, making him pull away from Jeongin. The pack Alpha replaced him and hugged Jeongin protectively. The maknae clung to him like a lifeline. In no time, the rest of the pack surrounded them. Felix and Han sent their sweet pheromones to the Enigma while Hyunjin stroked his back. Minho wanted to shout at the staff, but he knew that would make things worse.

“It’s not, Innie,” Seungmin said, utterly honest. “They’re used to clean scents, so they step back when they smell something different.”

“Something rotten…”

“No, love,” Bang Chan said, kissing the side of his head. “The scent of petrichor is warm and welcoming.”

“It’s not when it smells like blood.”

“Let’s be honest: it is weird,” Minho said, bluntly.

Jeongin flinched but looked at him. Minho looked irate; he stared at the staff like a predator about to hunt.

“Y-ye—”

“But it’s yours!” He cut him. His eyes focused on Jeongin, softening at the sight of his tear-streamed face. “And it’s home…”

Jeongin gave a hiccupping laugh, wiping his cheeks with his fingers. He pulled away from Chan, who caressed his back one last time. Jeongin asked a makeup artist if she could redo his makeup.

The performance and the interview went well.

However, on their way back, Jeongin asked to be left alone.

He needed to calm down and wanted some space.

They indulged, reluctantly.

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Bang Chan told him everyone would be at Changbin and Hyunjin’s, then left him at their own house entrance. He went to the bathroom to take a long, warm shower. He stole a pair of comfortable sweatpants from Bang Chan and put on an oversize, light-blue shirt that belonged to Felix. He lay on the sofa with a fluffy blanket before playing Spirited Away.

Jeongin tried to focus on the movie. He tried to breathe deep, the way Han did when he had anxiety. When his mind started to swim, he closed his eyes and tried to pay attention to the screen once again. It was hard…

When that woman’s words echoed in his head, he wanted to tear his scent glands out and stop segregating those repulsive pheromones.

He wanted—wanted to disembowel himself and ask his useless wolf why.

Why did it turn me into an abomination…?

Why? Why? Why?! WHY?!

That word kept screaming in his mind, louder each time. He could not think straight; he was a lost pup, trapped beneath his own thoughts…

If he were an Alpha, a Beta or an Omega, he could have accepted his hyungs’ romantic feelings; they could have loved him years ago.

If he were an Alpha, a Beta or an Omega, he could have fulfilled a role. He would not care if it was the one the society assigned him—at least, he could love and be loved without feeling incomplete…

If I were an Alpha, a Beta or an Omega, everything would be so fucking easy…

He whined and pressed his fists to his eyes. That longing was hopeless. He was an Enigma, and nothing could change that—not scientists, not doctors.

I’m drowning…

He stood up and ran to the front door. He sprinted in the streets, letting the chilly wind slap his bare skin. He hoped that tiring himself out would make the pain, the sadness, and the voice go away.

He needed to be okay.

He needed to smile.

He was Jeongin—baby bread I.N.

He had to be happy and energetic and—and not make his pack and fans worry about him.

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Twenty minutes later, Jeongin was sitting on the sidewalk. He had been running nonstop, so he was panting and sweating like crazy. He brushed his wet hair with his fingers, resting his head against a streetlight. He felt calmer, steadier. The endorphins must have helped him.

Suddenly, he heard the patter of small paws in front of him. He blinked, focusing his eyes. In front of him was a small, scrawny puppy. Jeongin blinked again and looked around, but there was no one on the street. The puppy sniffed and whimpered, tail tucked and ears flat.

Jeongin flinched—he had forgotten to put on a scent patch.

“’m sorry,” he said, standing up. “I know I smell like death…”

He did not leave. Instead, he ran to the nearest convenience store. The dog seemed scared of him, yes, but that did not mean he was going to let him starve. The pup looked malnourished and was probably thirsty. He headed inside and bought a bottle of water and tender dog food. At last, he ran to where he had left the puppy.

It was still there, now lying down where he had been before. He knelt slowly and opened the food. He placed it in front of the little one, and it gobbled it down. He opened the bottle and tilted it, letting it fall to the pavement so the puppy could know it was water. The dog licked from the string.

“I’m glad,” he whispered with a soft smile. “You seem more energetic.”

The puppy barked, wagging his little tail. It was high-pitched, but Jeongin did not care. He extended his hand, cautiously, and the puppy pressed its nose to his palm. Jeongin petted its head softly, the last of his worries disappearing into the night.

The pup sat on his lap and, slowly, sniffed at his neck. It huffed and Jeongin chuckled adoringly. Minutes later, Jeongin tried to stand up, but the dog would not abandon his lap. He chuckled again, thinking. Decision made, he hugged the puppy and stood up with care. The pup curled against him and huffed contently.

Jeongin headed toward his house—lighter, happier.

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“YANG JEONGIN!”

A furious Minho met him at the door, scaring him. The other six appeared in the living room one by one, looking as relieved as they seemed angry.

“What did I tell you last time, love?” Bang Chan asked, sighing.

“Not to forget my phone,” he said with guilt. “I-im sorry. I felt overwhelmed a-and needed to… to leave and run and make everything stop.”

Han unfolded his arms knowing that feeling. He got close to Jeongin and rested his hands on the younger’s arms, caressing up and down.

“Next time, call me,” he pleaded with a tender smile. “I understand that feeling better than anyone, Innie.”

“I didn’t want to bother you…”

“Say that again, I dare you,” Minho said, frowning. Jeongin shrank, the puppy sniffing the air in the living room air before hiding against Jeongin’s chest.

“You don’t bother us, Innie,” Changbin said. “We were worried—and expecting you to come to us.”

Jeongin nodded. He knew his hyungs loved and cared for him, but earlier he could not remember that. Everything felt wrong.

He felt wrong…

“I’m sorry,” he apologized with a bow. “I-I’ll call you next time…”

“You better,” Minho said, half-joking.

“Do you want to talk about what happened, Innie?” Hyunjin asked, gentle as a warm hug.

“I-I’m not ready… I need to calm down first…” If he opened his mouth, he would burst into tears, so he would rather sit with his emotions for a few days. When he could talk without breaking, he would.

“Okay,” Hyunjin murmured, smiling affectionately. “Take the time you need.”

Jeongin nodded, feeling his shoulders relax.

The pup let out a contented sigh.

“Now, love,” Bang Chan said, eyes dropping to the furball in Jeongin’s arms, “why don’t you tell us why you’re carrying a puppy?”

Jeongin avoided their eyes. The dog, sensing the shift in his pheromones, barked, startling him. Jeongin remembered and set him on the floor. He rushed to the bathroom, put on one of the star-shaped patches, and came back to the living room. His hyungs were watching the little black dog, which was sitting obediently where Jeongin had left it.

“This guy,” Jeongin said, picking it up again, “made me company. He even sniffed me and didn’t run away, hyungs!” He held up the pup, who wagged its tail happily. “I-I know Binnie-hyung is allergic—”

“Stop,” Changbin cut in. “I can be around dogs as long as I don’t touch them, Innie.”

“Also, curly hair shed less than other types,” Han notified with a big smile. He knew that because his dog, Bbama, had curly white hair.

“I’ll put out a bowl of water for him,” Bang Chan said, heading to the kitchen.

“We can use an old blanket as an improvised bed,” Felix suggested and clapped his hands softly like a little kid.

“It’ll be for a couple of days. I was thinking of asking my parents if they could adopt it.”

“He’s staying here forever!” Bang Chan exclaimed from the kitchen.

Jeongin looked around. He lived with Bang Chan, but the others constantly visited or spent the night. Everyone liked dogs, but Changbin…

“Stop making that face,” Changbin chuckled, moving closer. “I won’t be able to give it much love, but I can still be near it. The pup found you; it chose you. Be selfish for once and accept its love.”

“And your friends” Minho pointed at Felix, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Han, “are dying to adopt him, too.”

Jeongin read excitement in Minho’s eyes—wide and gleaming. Minho wanted it as badly as the rest, but he would not admit it.

Jeongin smiled, setting the puppy down again.

Hyunjin squatted down in front of it, Felix to his right, still standing. Han moved closer, too, cooing at the newest addition to the family. Seungmin gave them space and let Changbin hug his waist while they watched. Bang Chan set the bowl on the floor before hugging Jeongin from behind.

Jeongin melted, thinking: My big, lovely pack...

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Another week passed with a full schedule. However, they had enough time to take care of the new pack member. Bang Chan and Minho took the pup to the vet. He was a four-month-old boy. He needed a worming medication, food, and water. Han and Hyunjin decided to be the ones to buy everything for the puppy, and they sent lots of pictures to Jeongin. Felix, Seungmin, and Changbin accompanied Jeongin to the hospital to have his stitches removed and helped him with the rehearsals.

After a group chat, they decided to name the pup Bokbunja—he was black, Hyunjin wanted fruit and Changbin was getting hungry.

On Sunday, the pack had a day off—finally— and decided to spend the morning indoors. They prepared breakfast together. From time to time, they exchanged sweet kisses, back hugs, and caresses. Jeongin tried to avoid it and excused himself a couple of times. Seeing them being romantic with each other was lovely, but it made him jealous, too.

When they sat in the living room, Bokbunja—Bok—sat on Hyunjin’s lap. The pup knew Hyunjin was the one who fed him the most among his own bites. Everyone laughed, and Hyunjin, as dramatic as always, rolled his eyes and screamed.

Jeongin saw the image in front of him. It was as everyday as it was homey and warm. For him, his hyungs were his safe place. He could smile and shine or cry and break that they would still be there to hold him…

They talked to the staff, who apologized but tried to explain that it was necessary for him to cover his scent. His hyungs fought fiercely. However, he did not want them to end up in trouble. He agrred putting on the scent-suppressant patch during performances but asked to be able to wear the partial ones during fan meetings. He showed the staff members comments from fans pleading him not to erase his pheromones completely. They wanted to know his scent and get used to it.

He convinced them, what made the fans and his hyungs elated.

“Hyungs,” he said, leaving his plate on the table; they fell silent instantly. “I love you,” he blurted.

Han and Changbin choked on their food. The others, in shock, looked completely lost. Hyunjin blushed while Felix opened and closed his mouth like a fish.

“I rejected you because of what I am: an abomination. No, let me talk,” he announced and pointed at Minho, who was about to growl. “I can use the Alpha voice even though I am not an Alpha. I even affect Alphas with it, for fuck’s sake! I make them feel threatened without trying… I can bear children like Omegas, but my fertility is low; almost nonexistant. My scent is as repulsive as a corpse and even Betas are affected by it,” He pulled his knees to his chest to hide his face on them. “I-I am wrong and shouldn’t exist. I-I’m not suitable to be your boyfriend, hyungs. I would only make things worse.”

He finished with a long exhale. He waited, waited for his reactions. Bok ran to him and pressed his nose to Jeongin’s cheek. Jeongin moved back and looked at him with a sad smile.

He was not strong enough to look at his hyungs…

“I don’t care about you being an Enigma,” Minho said with venom in each syllable. “No one gives a fuck about it!”

“We would have loved you as an Alpha, an Omega or a Beta. Why would it be different because you’re an Enigma?” Changbin asked, confused.

“Let’s go slowly,” Bang Chan interrupted. He smiled softly at Jeongin even though the younger was not looking at him. “Minho-ah, Hyunjin-ah and I have been dealing with our wolves, love. Yes, your wolves feel weird when you smell metallic or when we remember how you made us submit, but we have fought them. For us and for you.”

“You shouldn’t do that…”

“The wolf is our wild part and shouldn’t control us, Innie,” Hyunjin crawled toward Jeongin and rested his chin on his kneecaps. “Look at me, please…”

And he did.

Hyunjin’s heart sank—like the first time he saw La Mélancolie by Lagrenée. Jeongin was the depiction of misery with his eyes glossy and empty. His lips were parted, the bottom one trembling slightly…

He was trying to contain his emotions, and Hyunjin could not bear it any longer.

Hyunjin stretched Jeongin’s legs and sat on his lap. His arms hugged the younger’s neck while his legs circled his back. Jeongin flinched but hugged him back. Felix moved closer and knelt beside them.

“Innie, Changbin and Seungmin are used to smelling you more than us and don’t care about your scent. For Han and me, we are dealing with our wolves as much as our Alphas. We want to accept you, so we’ll make our wolves accept yours.”

“Mine?” Jeongin asked, utterly confused. “Lixie-hyung, my wolf is like Seungmin’s or Changbin’s. My connection with him is almost inexistant.”

“Really?” Felix said while blinking.

“Yeah, he is as confused as I am about my gender. He does not know what he created…” Jeongin explained and rested his head against Hyunjin’s. “The only times he has appeared have been when I used my command voice.”

“Okay, okay. Ignoring that, I was trying to say that we want you,” Felix said after shaking his head. “We’ll show you, Innie!”

“How’re you going to make my anxiety shut up?” Jeongin asked, flatly.

Everyone, except Hyunjin, shared a look.

“Let your hyungs deal with that,” Han said with a wide smile.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 4 of Enigma [English]